Your favorite form of birth control?

[iftheresaway]

I'm looking to try a new form of birth control. I am no longer on the pill, as it was too much of a hassle to remember, and I would prefer not to be on a hormonal supplement right now. My husband and I are planning on starting a family in the next year or so, so I don't want an IUD/ Depo, and condoms are just not fun anymore.

So... I'd like to try something new: spermicide, sponge, diaphragm, etc. I've googled the effectiveness rates (http://www.fda.gov/Fdac/features/1997/conceptbl.html), but there is a huge range between "lowest pregnancy rate" and "typical use pregnancy rate". I'm looking for that personal touch: what have you guys used, what was easy to use correctly/ effectively, what methods really ruined the mood? I don't really want to use something where we have to plan out our romps a week in advance, but I just honestly have no experience with anything other than condoms or the pill/ patch.

Thank you for any advice you guys have!

[Duck Duck Goose]

Back before Baby #1 ruined my pelvic setup and the diaphragm wouldn't stay put anymore, we used it, and it rocked. You could put it in an hour ahead of time. Learning how to use it was not that big a deal.

In between Baby #1, Baby #2, and Baby #3 we used a combination of both Encare Ovals (a vaginal suppository) and a condom, because it was really, really important (to me, mainly) that we not have any Little Surprises, and all I personally cared about was getting as close to 100% effective as humanly possible without either vasectomy or tubal ligation, or the Pill, which isn't 100% either. The Encare Ovals you had to allow 10 minutes to melt and become effective. My husband dealt with the loss of sensation due to the condom with reasonable grace, since because without it, he wasn't getting any at all, and even Encare Oval-ed rubbered sex was better than no sex at all.

I found the leftover Encare Oval effluent in my underpants to be disconcerting, but part of the price you had to pay for 100% no Little Surprises.

My brother and SIL used sponges after the birth of their first, with the result that their two eldest kids are now spaced a lot closer than originally intended. They switched to something else after Baby #2.

[DigitalC]

I don't want to get too detailed but this (http://www.adrants.com/images/rear_entry.jpg) about covers it (SFW).

[pbbth]

I'm a huge fan of Yasmin, but you are looking for a non-pill birth control, so my next recommendation would have to be spermicide. When I was engaged and we were not using condoms I used a pill/spermicide combo. Make an appointment with your OB/GYN and see if they have any advice for you...they might be able to recommend something like the nuva-ring or some such that would be perfect for your situation.

[iftheresaway]

I don't want to get too detailed but this (http://www.adrants.com/images/rear_entry.jpg) about covers it (SFW).

Well, that's one strategy, but it requires so much cleanup :)

My thinking is running toward those spermacidal films (Norforms?), which are possibly something like the Encare ovals that DDG mentioned. Unfortunately, with condoms my husband only has a "success rate" of like 30%, which seems unfair when mine is well over 100%. I'm just looking for something to tide us over until we're ready to actively try for kids - it wouldn't be a tragedy if we had a Surprise, but of course financially it would always be better to wait.

[Green Cymbeline]

I have tried spermicidal foam, and it stung and irritated my partner a lot, and irritated me a little bit - plus it was really messy.

Why don't you want to be on a hormonal birth control? What about the Nuva Ring? You only replace it once a month. Or the birth control patch, which you replace weekly.

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

Ah, I hearken back to ye olden days of "pull and pray".
As it were, I have to wear a condom now or I'm a rapist.
Goddamit.

[Green Cymbeline]

As it were, I have to wear a condom now or I'm a rapist.
Goddamit.What? :confused:

[Sage Rat]

What? :confused:
His SO nixed the "pull and pray" strategy, so his options are condom or...well nothing unless he were to use force.

[chowder]

Well not really my fave but at a pinch a quick one off the wrist works for me

[Quartz]

If you're looking to start a family in the next year or so, why bother with contraception? Babies take 9 months to appear which fits your timeframe nicely. :D

[LouisB]

No one EVER got pregnant while using oral sex as a birth control technique.

[Pushkin]

My favourite? Diaphragm, if my then g/f had insisted on something more reliable, our daughter might not have been conceived :D

[Ruken]

Abstinence.
If by "favorite" you mean "most often used."
:(

Oh the bright side, at least it's pretty hard to make a baby that way.

[LorieSmurf]

I use a diaphragm. If you use it correctly, it has a 94% effectiveness rate, and it is not hard to use it correctly. Just practice with it before the big moment so you can just whip it in. I'm satisfied with it.

[Caricci]

My husband of 13 years is a condom user. We hardly even need it, me being 45 and having a serious history of infertility (although I was pregnant twice - once successfully) but we use condoms for one reason: clean up's a breeze.

[Cat Fight]

While I definitely support as much pre-baby planning as possible, it sounds like pregnancy wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. So why not track your fertility (http://www.birth-control-comparison.info/bc_images/CMM2.gif) and use condoms/abstinence/non-penetrative sex half the month?

[threemae]

I would urge you to reconsider an IUD. Although it is a relatively pricey option for a single year (coming to about $70-80 a month), it is highly effective and rapidly reversible. Investigate what your insurance will cover.

[NajaNivea]

I'm looking to try a new form of birth control. I am no longer on the pill, as it was too much of a hassle to remember, and I would prefer not to be on a hormonal supplement right now. My husband and I are planning on starting a family in the next year or so, so I don't want an IUD/ Depo, and condoms are just not fun anymore.

So... I'd like to try something new: spermicide, sponge, diaphragm, etc. I've googled the effectiveness rates (http://www.fda.gov/Fdac/features/1997/conceptbl.html), but there is a huge range between "lowest pregnancy rate" and "typical use pregnancy rate". I'm looking for that personal touch: what have you guys used, what was easy to use correctly/ effectively, what methods really ruined the mood? I don't really want to use something where we have to plan out our romps a week in advance, but I just honestly have no experience with anything other than condoms or the pill/ patch.

Thank you for any advice you guys have!

Fertility awareness. Wait! Don't hang up!

...are you still there? Okay. Seriously. ;)
It takes a bit of education and a serious amount of effort, but I have used it happily and successfully for two years, and couldn't possibly recommend it more highly for someone who:

-Is comfy with their own body (and bodily fluids)
-Pays attention to detail
-Doesn't want to use hormones
-Is comfortable taking personal responsibility for pregnancy prevention (ie: it's all you--if a pregnancy happens, you can't blame it on the pill)


I find it far more convenient, overall, than any of the barrier methods, which we sometimes still use in conjunction. I tried and disliked the sponge, it felt too bulky and was just... noticeable. Not painful or really uncomfortable, just... distracting. I didn't like it, but YMMV obviously.
Spermicides are messy and not excessively effective as a primary method. Plus my Mr. prefers not to have them around if he's going to get... um... up close and personal.
I liked my diaphragm well enough, it was simple to use and neither of us could feel it while in use. I don't think I ever trusted it quite as much as I did other methods, though.

If you're looking for something that's going to be a no-brainer and extremely convenient, I might suggest looking at the NuvaRing. It's a hormonal method, but a fairly low dose of estrogen. Many women like it a whole lot, as it avoids the whole pill-a-day thing and doesn't have the same problems as the patch.

But really, fertility awareness has rocked my reproductive world. I've been using it for two years now with no problems, and this month we're going to start trying for a baby--with no transition time between a pill and attempts to conceive. I just take the information I have and use it in reverse. It's not easy, it does take some thought and effort, but it's free and with no side effects. I use the sympto-thermal method which is supposed to have up to 99% efficacy with perfect use, but it does require strict adherence to work.
From the Wiki page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fertility_awareness) :

The failure rate of fertility awareness varies widely depending on the system used to identify fertile days, the instructional method, and the population being studied. Some studies have found actual failure rates of 25% per year or higher.[33][34][35] At least one study has found a failure rate of less than 1% per year with continuous intensive coaching and monthly review,[36] and several studies have found actual failure rates of 2-3% per year.[37][38][29][39]

When used correctly and consistently with ongoing coaching, some studies have shown some forms of FA to be 99% effective,[40][41][36][42] the same as oral contraceptives.[43]

Keep in mind that the difference with "perfect use" failure rates and "typical" failure rates is user error: if you get lazy and choose not to use your method, it won't work. If you use them correctly and consistently, they'll work. Don't be afraid of typical failure rates if you can trust yourself to use your method, and do be sure to choose a method you feel comfortable with and confident in so that you will use it consistently. When people pick barrier methods they are ambivalent about, our old friend "withdrawal" has a tendency to step frequently up to bat.*









*and you know what we in the reproductive health world call couples who use withdrawal as a primary method of birth control, don't you?
parents
;)

[Hockey Monkey]

My favorite is vasectomy. Of course if you are keeping your child bearing options open, that one wouldn't work so well. Thankfully for me I don't want kids and my boyfriend is fixed. My second favorite would be condoms.

[Antinor01]

My personal method is being gay. 100% success rate in preventing pregnancy. It doesn't sound like that one will work for you though.

[Fiveroptic]

Yeah, lesbianism has worked for me perfectly but like you said, it's not for everyone.

[Elendil's Heir]

My favorite is vasectomy. Of course if you are keeping your child bearing options open, that one wouldn't work so well. Thankfully for me I don't want kids and my boyfriend is fixed. My second favorite would be condoms.

After my wife and I had three kids, I'm with ya there. Very nice not having to worry about condoms, or pregnancy, anymore.

[Contrary]

I loved my diaphragm. When I used it, it worked perfectly. When I didn't (on June 5, 1980) a Little Surprise occurred. Yeah he's 27 now, not so little any more.

[iftheresaway]

While I definitely support as much pre-baby planning as possible, it sounds like pregnancy wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. So why not track your fertility (http://www.birth-control-comparison.info/bc_images/CMM2.gif) and use condoms/abstinence/non-penetrative sex half the month?

This is what I think I'm leaning toward. We had actually agreed to start trying to have kids after I turned 23, which was in June, and I think now we're just both in a spot where we want to have kids... and we are pretty much ready for kids... but still, actually trying to have kids (on purpose!) seems like such a grown-up thing to do. (Not to mention totally counter to all of the efforts we've made in the past to avoid oopsie babies - in all our years together, married and dating, drunk and sober, we have never once had unprotected sex.) I'm also hoping that, like NajaNivea mentioned, being aware of my fertility cycle will help when/if we decide to actually make an attempt (as opposed to letting an accident-on-purpose happen).

Thanks to everyone for sharing their ideas - if nothing else, they were all at least entertaining :)

[WhyNot]

Another FAMer here (with condoms for fertile days). Used it to be not-pregnant for 4 years and got pregnant (with our preferred gender) on our first try. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who really, truly oughtn't get pregnant, but for someone for whom it wouldn't be the end of the world (or who's willing to get an abortion), it's a great method with a very good effectiveness rating and nonexistent side effects.

Many male partners also like it because, besides getting to ride bareback, they get to share both the responsibility for and the knowledge of the birth control. Sometimes a couple will arrange it so that the alarm rings, the man fumbles for the thermometer and pops it in her mouth, then wanders off for his morning pee. By the time he gets back to bed, the thermometer is ready to come out. She can then get up and note her temp, or wait until later (the digital thermometer stores the last temp read). If he reads their charts, he can tell if she's fertile as well as she can. No wondering if she remembered to take the pill, no hoping she got the diaphragm in right - they both know what the deal is.

And did I mention the no condoms for 3 weeks a month?

[Voyager]

Vasectomy. Cheap, simple, worry free. (Cheap amortized over 20 years, that is.) Before that IUDs worked well for my wife, and then pills.

[stargazer]

We did FAM +condoms for fertile days for almost a year before we (intentionally) got pregnant. It worked great for us, and we also got pregnant with one try.

If you don't sleep well, or have a really wacky sleep schedule, it may not be the best choice for you, though. This is why I now have an IUD -- baby who doesn't sleep through the night + FAM = sibling! And we're not ready for that, not for a few more years...

[Zebra]

I just watch the first half of those Nanny shows.



I never want to have children.

[LiveOnAPlane]

A female friend who was pretty tall told me she & her hubby used the Bucket and Saucer method.

Seems he was shorter than average so they "did it" standing up, with him standing on a bucket so everything...um...lined up correctly.

She said while they were going at it, she'd watch his eyes very carefully. Verrrry carefully. And, when they got as big as saucers, she'd kick the bucket out from under him!

:eek: :D

Sorry.

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

His SO nixed the "pull and pray" strategy, so his options are condom or...well nothing unless he were to use force.
Yeah. It was a joke, which parallels my actual sex life. IO am a hetero male married to a hetero female, and we don't fuck. Yes it sucks, but internet porn has made my life livable, even if the wifey isn't in favor if teenagecumdumpsters.com.

But we adapt.

[Muffin]

Duct tape.

[TokyoBayer]

Unfortunately, I can't be helpjul.

Pregnancy has been our favorite form.

[irishgirl]

What is important to you?

Efficacy?
Ease of use?
Not having to interrupt sex to go and sort out your contraceptive equipment?
Cost?

If reliablity isn't a big issue, but cost is, the rhythm method would be best, if reliability is important a diaphragm would be better.

There are so many methods out there, no one method is going to suit everyone.

You know you want a hassle free non-hormonal method that isn't condoms, now you need to work out what else you want, because in this area something always has to give. No method is perfect, you have to find the least sucky one for you.

[emmaliminal]

Have you looked into the ring (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NuvaRing)? I used it for a few years and found it incredibly easy and effective.

ETA: Oops, sorry, you're looking for non-hormonal. This would not qualify.

[drm]

The first few times I had sex I hated using a condom, but now I've grown to like them - I last twice as long.

So I guess my answer is condom.

[don't ask]

For others - celibacy.

For me - fellatio.

[Voyager]

Duct tape.

Stuck where? :eek:

[norinew]

Prior to my first pregnancy, we used the Sponge. It was with the Sponge that we conceived our first child (now 21).

After our first, before we were ready to try for a second, we used spermicidal foam. It worked very well. After the second, before we were ready to try for a third, we used spermicidal foam or film.

As long as we used it consistently, it worked well for us. Especially given that, when I was ready to conceive (with both #2 and #3), I did so quickly and easily.

Yeah, you generally have to wait 15 minutes between application and male 'satisfaction'. However, if you (the male, I mean) are 'quick on the draw', you can use that 15 minutes for foreplay. If you are not 'quick on the draw' (and my hubby never has been), you can start any time after application.