East Machias, Maine, has a serious shortage of Giant Mechanical Gorillas. Newslink

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

DAMMIT! Not even the Giant Mechanical Gorillas are safe on the streets these days!

http://www.bangornews.com/detail/50035.html

EAST MACHIAS — A giant gorilla was kidnapped in broad daylight Sunday from in front of Sandy’s Sales on Route 1.

No ransom demand had come from the kidnappers as of Tuesday, but the Maine State Police are investigating and have put out an all-points bulletin on the primate — an 8-foot mechanical ape.

Cutthroats! Dacoits! Neer-Do-Wells! Roisterers! What is the limit to these hooligans' outrages!?! Not even our Giant Gorillas can walk the streets unmolested!

[GorillaMan]

I know nothing.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

I know nothing.

This is well-known on the SDMB.

But have you stolen a Giant Mechanical Gorilla?

[Marley23]

Wait- this happened near Bangor, Maine? As in Stephen King Bangor, Maine?

This can't be good. One hopes the police have put out an APB for a Wendigo or a horror from beyond the stars or the dispossessed soul of a serial murderer or some drunk teenagers or something.

[Terrifel]

East Machias will get back its giant mechanical gorilla AFTER the giant mechanical marmoset is returned to West Machias.

Honestly, just leave the damn marmoset alone, you guys. It's really childish of you.

[The Scrivener]

Clearly this case calls for a special type of bait (http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=giant+banana&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2).

[Mindfield]

Meh. Gorilla theft is nothing new. Years ago, a surplus and electronics hobbyist shop in Toronto known as Active Surplus, perhaps best known for its completely random 6-foot posed gorilla outside, was subject to theft of said gorilla. They got it back eventually though.

Perhaps the thieves have moved south of the border...

[Astroboy14]

Wait- this happened near Bangor, Maine? As in Stephen King Bangor, Maine?



Machias isn't particularly close to Bangor... there are any number of horrors between the two.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

East Machias will get back its giant mechanical gorilla AFTER the giant mechanical marmoset is returned to West Machias.

Honestly, just leave the damn marmoset alone, you guys. It's really childish of you.

Filthy Marmoset-Fanciers!

East Machias will never submit to your demands!

[Risha]

Clearly this case calls for a special type of bait (http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=giant+banana&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2).I was expecting you to suggest a different kind of bait (http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&q=Fay+Wray+Ann+Darrow).

[The Scrivener]

Fay Wray's a tad past her sell-by date. (Although like a giant banana past its prime, she may also be brown-spotted, soft and mushy by now.) :eek:

OTOH, Jessica Lange is still with us and looks great...

[Terrifel]

Filthy Marmoset-Fanciers!

East Machias will never submit to your demands!Do not force us to activate our robotic lemurs.

Please, let us speak reasonably about this unfortunate incident. After all, West and East Machias have maintained a cordial détente regarding the use and deployment of enhanced primate automata, much to our long term benefit. Also, I surely need not emphasize the fact that any wide scale destabilization of power in the area can only play into the hands of our mutual nemesis, Whitneyville.

Regardless of any tension between our communities, I think we can agree that an amicable resolution is eminently preferable to the spectre of Whitneyville's battle lobsters in our streets.

I am prepared to negotiate the following offer: the return of your mechanical gorilla, plus the four surviving cybergibbons from the Black Thursday Skirmish, in exchange for the mechanical marmoset prototype unit with the Darwinian projector core intact.