Is your current SO the best lay you've had?

[Soapbox Monkey]

If not, have you ever told them? Or at least, without directly telling them they aren't the best, have you ever shared with them a story of one of your better experiences?

It's just that quite a few people here are pretty open about some of your experiences. I'm wondering if that carries over into your actual relationships.

[Ephemera]

I've only had just one girlfriend, though I've had half a dozen partners.

The other five were all better.

[ladyfoxfyre]

Yes, he's the best. He didn't have much experience before me but he is a quick learner.

[pbbth]

The best fuck, yes. I've been with other men who were better at a few other things but as far as the actual fucking goes he is the best so far.

[BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed]

Not in a relationship now, but I remember when I was. But y'know, I've had great sexual experiences with all of my partners, but unless something incredibly sexy happened during a particular session, I don't really remember it enough to be able to compare. They were all good in some ways. Maybe I just haven't had really bad sex (or at least not consistently bad), so there's not that much to compare it to. But man, those hot hot sessions, the particulars stand out in my mind years and years later.

Now BJ, on the other hand, that's a comparison I can make. One girl was absolutely amazing with them. Unfortunately she was the first, so I wasn't really savvy enough to figure out WTF she was doing to be able to really give tips at this point. Zannen.

[Maui Lion]

Well he's also the only lay I've ever had, so by default and everything..yeah, I guess he is. :p

[Hockey Monkey]

No, no and no. But he's the best in so many other ways that it doesn't matter at all. I'd never dream of telling him straight out that he doesn't live up to a bar set by someone else.

[monica]

Yep, he is.

[Czarcasm]

Just a minute.































Yup.

[Heffalump and Roo]

Just a minute.
Were you checking to see if she was standing over your shoulder or did it just take a minute to find out?

[Soapbox Monkey]

No, no and no. But he's the best in so many other ways that it doesn't matter at all. I'd never dream of telling him straight out that he doesn't live up to a bar set by someone else.

Do you find yourself still thinking of those past experiences? Do you ever wish he possessed their skill while in the throes of passion with him?

And how upset would he be if he came to this board and figured out your identity?

[Risha]

He's the only one I ever went past second base with, so yes by default. :)

[Hockey Monkey]

Do you find yourself still thinking of those past experiences? Do you ever wish he possessed their skill while in the throes of passion with him?

And how upset would he be if he came to this board and figured out your identity?

Sometimes I do think about them, but that's mainly between me and my rubber ducky. I can't recall a time that I thought about it whilst in the throes. He knows who I am on this board, and if he ever comes in here and sees this, I hope he will see the part where I said it doesn't matter to me at all because he's better in so many other ways.

[dalej42]

Honestly, no.

I'm one of those in the thousands though.

[Soapbox Monkey]

Sometimes I do think about them, but that's mainly between me and my rubber ducky. I can't recall a time that I thought about it whilst in the throes. He knows who I am on this board, and if he ever comes in here and sees this, I hope he will see the part where I said it doesn't matter to me at all because he's better in so many other ways.

The male ego can be a fragile thing, and sex is a huge part of that ego.

[Lakai]

Sometimes I do think about them, but that's mainly between me and my rubber ducky. I can't recall a time that I thought about it whilst in the throes. He knows who I am on this board, and if he ever comes in here and sees this, I hope he will see the part where I said it doesn't matter to me at all because he's better in so many other ways.

"I'm I good in bed?" is the male version of "Does this make me look fat?"

There is only one correct answer.

[silenus]

By far. Light-years better. And she isn't looking over my shoulder, either.

[Isamu]

No, but not the worst either. On a graded testing scale, she would get a B+. I'm happy with that.

[panache45]

He's the best, both in and out of bed.

After we'd been together about a year, I told him about a guy I was once with, and the oral sex he gave me that lasted several hours. My partner then picked me up, carried me to the bed, and proceeded to outdo the other guy. He hates being second-best.

[SanVito]

Yes, by a country mile. In fact, our relationship started as a sexually explosive office affair, so in a way it's been the basis for our relationship (although our relationship has progressed way beyond the purely physical, before you start thinking we're doomed!). She feels the same way about my abilities, and we often joke that it's because we're both nearing our sexual peak (we're both women in our late 30s).

Having said that, if she wasn't, I'd be tempted to lie about it. Who wants to think they're a crap shag?!

[Cicero]

Were you checking to see if she was standing over your shoulder or did it just take a minute to find out?

Post of the year in my mind :D

[ScareyFaerie]

Honestly? No. But I'm not telling him that.

[DianaG]

For my money, sex is so different with different people (and even with the same person at different times) that it's an apples and oranges comparison. Everyone I've been with for any length of time has been the best at something, even if it's only being themselves (...in bed, heh), which is ostensibly why I'm having sex with them in the first place.

[samclem]

For my money, sex is so different with different people (and even with the same person at different times) that it's an apples and oranges comparison. Everyone I've been with for any length of time has been the best at something, even if it's only being themselves (...in bed, heh), which is ostensibly why I'm having sex with them in the first place.
A line which has always stuck in my mind from Even Cowgirls Get The Blues was (to paraphrase) "Having sex with XXX is like hitching a ride around the block on a fire engine! The excitement, the intensity, etc. Having sex with ZZZ is like taking a cross country trip in a big old buick, super comfortable and satisfying. They're both different and both great."

[Malacandra]

Eh, what sex with Mrs M lacks in quality it makes up for in scarcity. It'd be more like it to call her the worst lay I've ever had. Either she knows or she doesn't, but I certainly don't see that harping on about it will improve the situation.

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

To answer this question anything like definitively, I think I'd have to re-assemble all the women I've been to bed with over the last forty years in a hotel room and re-sample their bedroom skills, some probably several times, to be sure. Sort of like a wine-tasting. Sniff a little bit, sample, spit, over and over, all weekend long.

Maybe I'd need a week.

Maybe longer.

[Susie Derkins]

Sometimes I do think about them, but that's mainly between me and my rubber ducky.

You mean this (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y152/susie_derkins21/duck-vibrating-whole-thing.jpg) rubber ducky? ;)

My guy is a perfect fit for me, in more ways than one (including the dirty interpretation of that statement). He didn't start out that way, but he's a fast learner and he loves making me happy. The feeling is mutual.

[CalMeacham]

Of course.


And I'd say that even if she didn't read the Dope Board.


Honestly.

[Sattua]

Is your current SO the best lay you've had?

Yes.

[Baldwin]

The male ego can be a fragile thing, and sex is a huge part of that ego.Make that the human ego. I keep hearing "male ego" crap, and it's sexist nonsense.

As for the OP, hard to say because there's always a mixture of feelings. I've had more sexually exciting experiences with other women, but without the level of emotional attachment I have now.

[Hockey Monkey]

"I'm I good in bed?" is the male version of "Does this make me look fat?"

There is only one correct answer.


If he asked me "Am I good in bed?", my answer to that is absolutely. The question posed here was is your SO the best you've ever had.

[Gus Gusterson]

No, she's not. Our sex life is limited to intercourse in three positions. When she's into it it can be really good, but the lack of foreplay and variety puts it low on my all-time list.

What most bums me out is that I've become a worse lover. Half the time we have sex, she's just doing it for me. She lies there while I basically masturbate inside her. You can imagine that she can't stand that for very long, and I can't either - the look on her face kills me, though she tries to hide it. So I do whatever it takes to finish quickly. The dejection I sometimes feel afterwards is far worse than the rejection I feel when we don't do it for a long time. I feel like a complete failure.

[Therapy, counseling, or whatever is not an option - she is satisfied with our sex life. I am her best ever, but that's no big deal because I'm basically her only ever and she has almost no interest in sex.]

[mudkicker]

No, she's not. Our sex life is limited to intercourse in three positions. When she's into it it can be really good, but the lack of foreplay and variety puts it low on my all-time list.

What most bums me out is that I've become a worse lover. Half the time we have sex, she's just doing it for me. She lies there while I basically masturbate inside her. You can imagine that she can't stand that for very long, and I can't either - the look on her face kills me, though she tries to hide it. So I do whatever it takes to finish quickly. The dejection I sometimes feel afterwards is far worse than the rejection I feel when we don't do it for a long time. I feel like a complete failure.

[Therapy, counseling, or whatever is not an option - she is satisfied with our sex life. I am her best ever, but that's no big deal because I'm basically her only ever and she has almost no interest in sex.]

Um...don't mean to pry or make you uncomfortable, but...are you sure you want to be with this woman? Sex is such an important part of a relationship, I really couldn't be with anyone long term who wasn't into it. It's a perfectly reasonable thing to end a relationship for, IMHO, especially if the other person won't even talk about it.

{hug}

[Hal Briston]

Yes, and hell yes. After 12 years together, she gets sexier every day, and she's dynamite in bed. No question about it...

[Gus Gusterson]

Um...don't mean to pry or make you uncomfortable, but...are you sure you want to be with this woman? Sex is such an important part of a relationship, I really couldn't be with anyone long term who wasn't into it. It's a perfectly reasonable thing to end a relationship for, IMHO, especially if the other person won't even talk about it.

{hug}I have made my peace with it. We have two children, she is my best friend, and my life is great except for this one thing. It's a big thing, but I value my family more than I value anything else.

[Scumpup]

No. That would have been a woman I cohabitated with in the mid to late 90's. Sex with her was absolutely the best. We were besotted and insane with sex.
My wife, I must hasten to say, is a wonderful woman and is inarguably a far better life companion.
As for the earlier woman, it had always been embarassing for me to watch her, her sister and her mother bicker and fight over her father's attention. I was thus not terribly surprised to find that after we went our different ways she married a man of her father's age.

[tdn]

Yes. Details vary, but from a fantasy/fetish fulfillment standpoint, as well as a psychologically satisfying standpoint, absolutely yes.

We's a couple o' crazy animals.

[control-z]

No, my second was the best overall. But my last one was a very eager bedroom participant, although not particularly adventurous.

[Autolycus]

Rosy Palms? She definitely knows me the best, and so the orgasms are indeed stunning.

Still.. she lacks a certain something..

[Queen Tonya]

Nope, but he's my best partner ever and very very good in bed, we're happy.

[Yeticus Rex]

She's the best and she's the worst. She's the only.

[Shodan]

Yes, and hell yes. After 12 years together, she gets sexier every day, and she's dynamite in bed. No question about it...Especially after shearing, right?

:D

And yes, the Lovely and Talented Mrs. Shodan is the best I've ever had. Of course, I have nothing to compare her to, and she resists the idea of increasing the sample size for some reason.

Regards,
Shodan

[Hogwash]

What current SO?

*sob*

[Man With a Cat]

Hell, she's not even the best this week.


NO, I'm kidding. The best in the sense that we're intuitive with each other, and she's still gorgeous, even if she doesn't think so. She knows I had a fairly randy past life before her, and never asks how anyone of them were. To be honest, some of them were amazing - and some of them I was in love with. The amazing ones I mean.

So, not the "best lay", but I'd give her "favorite lover".

I think she'd like better too anyway.

[Projammer]

There are some questions I don't ask. And some that I don't answer, regardless of what the answer might be.

"Am I the best?" falls into both categories.

>---------<

The ultimate rejection. Your hand falls alseep.

[The Great Sun Jester]

Yes, by far. 2nd best was a 6-month friend with benefits affair 20 years ago that was fraught with dysfunction. 3rd best was the former Mrs. Montoya (not being bitter, just honest). Anyone else doesn't even register.

I wish I was younger so I could enjoy her more. The years have put a lot of mileage on me and my soul. She's turning out to be one hell of a mechanic though.

[vandal]

No, she's actually one of the worst.

[DLuxN8R-13]

Yes, indubitably. He is, in fact, the wildest piece of ass in California.

[mudkicker]

I have made my peace with it. We have two children, she is my best friend, and my life is great except for this one thing. It's a big thing, but I value my family more than I value anything else.

Fair enough. Different if there's marriage and kids, of course. Hope my question wasn't too prying.

As for the OP, it gets better with each one. :)

[Soapbox Monkey]

Make that the human ego. I keep hearing "male ego" crap, and it's sexist nonsense.

Well, when it comes to great sex (for everyone involved), the onus is arguably on the guy. 98% of men are going to get off simply by having sex, and could just as easily get off by sticking their dick in a hole in the mattress. If the guy can't get the girl off, he's failed. More pressure on the guy. Most.


As for the OP, it gets better with each one.

Perhaps if the two of you are on the same level experience-wise. But an experienced girl getting with a guy who's a virgin?

[FallenAngel]

I've been with a fairly high number of women, and my wife is absolutely the best. She's enthusiastic, up for pretty much anything, skillful and considerate, all while being wildly passionate.

There are some things I wish she enjoyed more, but even those she does with enthusiasm because I enjoy them.

Add to the fact that she's stunningly beautiful and visually sexy, and I know exactly how damn lucky I am.

[The Great Sun Jester]

Well, when it comes to great sex (for everyone involved), the onus is arguably on the guy. 98% of men are going to get off simply by having sex, and could just as easily get off by sticking their dick in a hole in the mattress. If the guy can't get the girl off, he's failed. More pressure on the guy. Most. Oh come on, dude. Surely your experiences haven't all been so sorry that ejaculation was as good as it got? And I don't know any wimmin who don't take a large chunk of ownership in everybody's orgasm--if dude doesn't shoot then it's her fault, and if she doesn't climax then it's because she couldn't get her mind in the game, etc.

If you're poking wimmins who are not any better than a mattress, and who hold you accountable for giving them (or not) an O, then you need to know that there are significantly better ones out there.

[freekalette]

Definitely! I can't even remember what my other lovers were like, with the exception of losing my virginity. (And that's only because it was completely horrible.)

My husband was practically a virgin when I met him, but he was a natural, and it just got better from there. I actually told him lately that he needs to get LESS good, or risk me having a stroke! ;)

[Soapbox Monkey]

Oh come on, dude. Surely your experiences haven't all been so sorry that ejaculation was as good as it got?

I'll let you know after I have my first experience.

[Pixilated]

the best at what?

he is the best at many things.

[Autolycus]

I'll let you know after I have my first experience.

There's orgasms and then there's orgasms. Report back after making initial contact with the opposing forces soldier.

[SuntanTigerTamer]

Easily, a million times yes.

Which makes it even worse that we can't get along in any other capacity. If we hang out for longer than an hour without any sexual contact, we invariably fight like cats and dogs. I'm not interested in what she is, and she couldn't care less about what I'm into, unless its her.

I have only had 9 partners (I'm 28), and she has had about 34 (shes 33, I give her shit that one every year since birth is a nice streak :D). We both agree that our sex is mind blowingly good. Like, whatever she wants, I will gladly take care of, and she's the same way. Outfits, toys, positions, whatever. I even test drove a new sex style i've been working on in the garage(I call it the Jackie Chan. It is dangerous, takes concentration and a high dexterity throw, and the outtakes can be horrific).

We hang out, watch a movie, talk about shit we both couldn't care less about, and then $#^@ like its the end of the world. Then I go home to my bed, and she flips her mattress over and sleeps at her place.

I wish more than anything that I could enjoy her on a more meaningful level. Shes beautiful, intelligent, and is the absolute ideal lover for me, but after months of being with her it doesnt seem possible. And now I'm terrified that when I actually meet someone that I could make a life with, the sex wont compare and I'll always remember that. Talk about a rock and hard place....

*Btw, she agrees with all of the above, so it's not like I'm using her, any more than she is using me. It's kind of sick that neither of us mind...

[Debon Err]

No doubt about it! He is amazing in so many ways. I've never before felt the way he makes me feel.
Thanks for asking.

[tygre]

100% best I've had. I came into our relationship with um...a decent amount of experience, but he's far and away the best lover I've had. AND he's a Doper, so.... :D

[HeyHomie]

Nope, not by a long shot. My first was also the best. She was WAY more experienced than me, and she was gggooooooodddddd :cool:. Very tight and knew how to work those vag muscles.

Is it warm in here?

[MissIntent]

Far and away the best, in so many ways. He's so amazing in so many ways I can't believe he's real. We've been dating almost 9 months, and I still giggle when he kisses me hello.

And sex wise... I've never had multiple orgasms while having vaginal penetration sex before (what's the easy term for that? Not oral is what I mean)

Every day I wake up and think I am such a lucky, lucky girl.

[Mrs. Cake]

Oh yeah, I'm pretty shallow that way. If the sex hadn't been mind-blowing (and stayed that way, with varying degrees of frequency over the years) I probably would not have committed to marriage. I couldn't say that there may not have been a single remarkable instance with someone else, but for overall quality and follow-through, yes, he's my best.

[Sailboat]

She doesn't know how good she is. True, she goes through phases when she's not in the mood, generally; and I know she has issues about her appearance. She also greatly prefers me to initiate, and sometimes that requires me to make a major effort. But when she gets going, it's like she's a connoisseur, she really enjoys it.

She reminds me of one of the great three-decker sailing ships of Nelson's day. When at anchor, you can look at that expanse of hull, all those knots and lines needing to be worked, and fret about the labor of hauling up that anchor. But get those sails unfurled, and she'll catch the wind and take off gloriously, a bone in her teeth, every line taut and humming, ready to do or die for King and country!

God save the Queen!

Sailboat

[BrknButterfly]

What current SO?

*sob*

I'm right there with ya.

Though sex is important to me.. so if they suck at it, it factors into the longevity of the relationship/dating.

[gravitycrash]

Not even close. Even though my SO is a very nice woman and I think decent in bed she is just not enthusiastic in any way. I get the idea she would like to be somewhere else. Actually I think I would like to be as well.

My second wife on the other hand.... Other than her being a complete bitch, the sex balanced out the bitchiness.

[Sleel]

No, but she's not bad. She's less adventurous/kinky than I'd like, but an enthusiastic partner when she's in the mood.

I think because of the formulation of birth control pills that she's on, her sex drive is lower than when I met her. She has complained about weight gain and cramps during her period, which may be connected too. Unfortunately, she doesn't have much choice about the pills. She'd have to switch clinics to get different ones, and there are only a couple of different formulas available in Japan anyway. The ones she was on before they switched to Japan-only brands were better for her.

I'm not unhappy with the sex, not at all, but I wish she was willing more often, and was more open to trying new things. Still, good solid fun and occasionally great orgasmic interludes works pretty well for a satisfying sex life.

[kittenlm]

Oh yeah! He knows how to give me multiples every.single.time. And the fact that we are so in love makes it even better. You hear all the time that love makes sex more passionate....man are they right about that. I *love* staring in his eyes while we are going at it. The love and passion make it so unbelievably intense. And I need to stop thinking about this while I'm sitting at work ;)

[Foxy40]

Without a doubt, yes. We have had our rocky times but the bedroom has never been a problem. After twelve years we still surprise each other and it is never boring. I think it is more the passion and enjoyment of each other than the actual orgasms. We rarely have sex that lasts less than an hour start to finish.

[Influential Panda]

My last SO? Yeah, without a doubt. It also helps that she was one of the most beautiful women I've ever met, though. Stayin' single right now, though. Woooo.

[Autolycus]

My last SO? Yeah, without a doubt. It also helps that she was one of the most beautiful women I've ever met, though. Stayin' single right now, though. Woooo.

That makes you a sad panda. :(

[buttonjockey308]

No. That would have been a woman I cohabitated with in the mid to late 90's. Sex with her was absolutely the best. We were besotted and insane with sex.
My wife, I must hasten to say, is a wonderful woman and is inarguably a far better life companion.

That's always the way it goes, very rarely can you get, wrapped into one package, the lover, friend, mother(or father), helper etc. etc. There was one girl at a vacation spot in Indiana that I used to frequent, who was just about everything a fella could ask for, including married. Fantastic, she was. Pure bliss. I also lived and went out with a stripper for a while who, uh, brought her work home, which made for some in-freaking-credible multiple partner with toys and shoes and lingere just-like-in-a-porno sex. Likewise, some of the other ships that passed through my night were incredible at this thing or that, but none fulfilled the entire sphere until the mrs came along.

Of course, the heat has since faded, or been extinguished I'm not sure which, but things are ok for now, and if a slow sex life is the worst thing that happens to me, I will consider myself lucky. As a side note, I understand it that my former entertainer/ paramour and her boyfriend at the time were beaten nearly to death by a jealous ex of hers that was in prison for a botched robbery. I fate I might have shared had I stayed in the saddle.

Things happen for a reason.