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Skald the Rhymer
10-18-2008, 09:40 PM
(Or, things I post about when my wife is away and I miss her desperately.)

Rules are simple: Name the source & author and quote the passage, but do not use any reference other than your own memory. You can tell why you love it if you're moved to, but it's not necessary.

I'll begin with one from Beowulf, author obviously unknown:

"Then from the mist over the moor-hills came Grendel walking, wearing God's anger. This was not the first time he had sought the house of Hrothgar and it's golden halls."

Anybody else?

blondebear
10-18-2008, 09:45 PM
There must be an ideal world, a sort of mathematician's paradise where everything happens as it does in textbooks.--Bertrand Russell


(source: a poster in my bedroom)

Trepa Mayfield
10-18-2008, 09:53 PM
"I dunno, isn't that what they say about God?"
"Yeah, but I've wondered about him too."

--Bill Watterson

It's been a while since I've read my C&H collection, or I'd have, like, 9 others.

Stauderhorse
10-18-2008, 11:00 PM
[Spoilers for Shawshank Redemption]




"Andy Dufresne, who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.

Andy Dufresne, headed for the Pacific."

"I like to think the last thing that went through the warden's head, other than that bullet, was to wonder how in the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the better of him."





[Spoilers for Shawshank Redemption]


Man, I love that movie.

Der Trihs
10-18-2008, 11:18 PM
A few offhand :

"I kill where I wish and none dare resist" - Smaug.

"Goodbye, Citizen Chairman." - Thomas Theisman ( while pointing a gun at said Chairman's forehead )

"Oops" - Shannon Foraker

"Longer than you think, Dad ! LONGER THAN YOU THINK !" - Jaunt, by Stephen King

"Come, let us reason together." - Ringworld series Loius Wu to the Hindmost, after melting his hyperdrive

"What are we thinking ! We're villains ! We'll cheat !" - Villains By Necessity

"I did it thirty-five minutes ago." - Ozymandius, Watchmen

"Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon" - Rorschach, Watchmen

"Don't fuck with the Culture" - the Culture novels

"I'm Hawk, and this is Fisher. We're the law. Scary, isn't it ?" - Hawk and Fisher novels

"That Terminator is out there. It doesn't know pity, or remorse, or fear, or pain. It can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with, and it absolutely Will. Not. Stop. Until you are dead !"

Archergal
10-18-2008, 11:22 PM
Some primeval termite knocked on wood,
and tasted it, and found it good.
And that is why your cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.

I'm greatly attached to Barbara Frietchie.
I bet he scratched when shhe was itchy.

Both from Ogden Nash

Der Trihs
10-18-2008, 11:35 PM
"Comrade, Comrade ! And I thought you would be a good Communist to the end !"

- a vampire, shaking his head sadly and plucking a useless cross from a Communist bureaucrat's hand




"The ancients knew how to deal with us, and did so so thoroughly that we were thought to only be a legend. Until you came, with your radiation, and burned away the stakes and the chains. Nothing human could have survived what you did to the Earth. Nothing human did.

Now, you will take us to your world, where your people will meet their new Masters."

- Vampire to an alien ship Captain sent to sterilize Earth by the "Masters", and who picked up the few "humans" who inexplicably survived



"No. I'm going to let you live . . . longer than you want to. . ."

- Spawn to the guy who killed him, animated version

Skald the Rhymer
10-18-2008, 11:42 PM
"Comrade, Comrade ! And I thought you would be a good Communist to the end !"

- a vampire, shaking his head sadly and plucking a useless cross from a Communist bureaucrat's hand


Where's that one from?

SmartAleq
10-18-2008, 11:43 PM
From too much love of living
From hope and fear set free
We thank with brief thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be;
That no life lives forever,
That dead men rise up never,
That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere safe to sea.

--Swinburne

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe,
All mimsy were the borogroves
And the mome raths ougtgrabe.

Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch
Beware the JubJub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!

He took his vorpal sword in hand,
long time the manxsome foe he sought
Then rested he by the TumTum tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whuffling through the tulgey wood
And burbled as it came!

One two! One two! And through and through
His vorpal blade went snicker snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh, callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe,
All mimsy were the borogroves
And the mome raths ougtgrabe.

Did you know that "Jabberwocky" can be sung perfectly to the tune of "Greensleeves?" It can, try it!

Fury said to a mouse
that he met in the house,
"Let us both go to law, I will prosecute you!
Come, I'll take no denial, we must have a trial,
for really this morning I've nothing to do!"
Said the mouse to the cur, "Such a trial, dear sir,
without jury or judge would be wasting our breath!"
"I'll be judge, I'll be jury," said cunning old Fury,
"I'll try the whole cause and condemn you to death!"

--Both from "Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, and Through The Looking Glass"

I know quite a lot of "The Walrus and the Carpenter" as well, but not all of it...

Don't even get me started on Monty Python! :D

thirdwarning
10-18-2008, 11:53 PM
"Always for everyone everywhere, they put you on that cross, and they nail you to it, and you hang on it and die on it, and if you fall off they beat you to death with a shovel, so do it with dignity, old man."

A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr.

Oddly enough, that one helped me through parts of my first marriage.


"Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest, I am He whom thou seekest. Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest me."

The Hound of Heaven by Francis Thompson

The Second Stone
10-18-2008, 11:59 PM
Of all the gin joints in all the world, why did she have to walk into mine?

The stuff dreams are made of.

Hi Opal!

The rest is silence.

The very butcher of a silk button.

I spit my last breath in hatred of thee.

To die. In the rain.

Leave the gun. Take the canoli.

There is no try. There is only do, or do not.

Saigon. Shit.

Forget it Jake. It's Chinatown.

Get your paws off of me, you damn, dirty ape!

Rollo Tomasi.

I am sick and tired of all these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking airplane!

English, motherfucker! Do you speak it!

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Fly! You fools!

Scotty, you're fired.

All we have are wait and hope.

You were an apt pupil. A very apt pupil!

My name is Ingio Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!

He just vanished into think air. Like a fart in the wind!

No prisoners!



Bragging points to anyone who can get them all without internet searching.

Attack from the 3rd dimension
10-19-2008, 12:02 AM
This is the famous Budweiser beer. We know of no brand produced by any other brewer which costs so much to brew and age. Our exclusive Beechwood Aging produces a taste, a smoothness and a drinkability you will find in no other beer at any price.

You can win a few beers by memorizing this, unfortunately, they'll be Budweisers.

Der Trihs
10-19-2008, 12:06 AM
Where's that one from?From a sci-fi short; don't recall the title. The Communist in question has used the statistics he's in charge of examining to deduce the existence of something preying upon the citizenry, and managed to deduce "vampires". Of the non-magic, different-species-of-hominid variety, which is why crosses don't work.



"Poison ?! Do you want to talk about poison ?! I AM poison !" - Blight, Batman Beyond


"Who ARE you ?!"

"You killed my father !"

"Do you have any IDEA how little that narrows it down ?!" - exchange between Blight and Terry in Batman Beyond



"What can mere humans do against us ?" < sneering >

"Very little. But their steel jacketed bullets can do much." - exchange between two of Mercede's Lackey's elves, who react poorly to iron alloy



"Oh Father. They DO know what they are doing !" - Reincarnated Jesus, in the Riverworld books as he's burned at the stake.

Sir T-Cups
10-19-2008, 12:06 AM
You told me once that pathos left you unmoved, but that beauty, mere beauty could fill your eyes with tears. I tell you I could hardly see the dear girl with the amount of tears in my eyes.

Sir T-Cups
10-19-2008, 12:07 AM
From a sci-fi short; don't recall the title. The Communist in question has used the statistics he's in charge of examining to deduce the existence of something preying upon the citizenry, and managed to deduce "vampires". Of the non-magic, different-species-of-hominid variety, which is why crosses don't work.



"Poison ?! Do you want to talk about poison ?! I AM poison !" - Blight, Batman Beyond


"Who ARE you ?!"

"You killed my father !"

"Do you have any IDEA how little that narrows it down ?!" - exchange between Blight and Terry in Batman Beyond



"What can mere humans do against us ?" < sneering >

"Very little. But their steel jacketed bullets can do much." - exchange between two of Mercede's Lackey's elves, who react poorly to iron alloy


Oh I love these quotes because I LOVE Batman Beyond!!!

The best written animated show EVER

Qadgop the Mercotan
10-19-2008, 12:10 AM
SOME say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.


Robert Frost, Fire and Ice (1920)

trapezoidal jellyfish
10-19-2008, 12:18 AM
"Early to bed and early to rise makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes."
in Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

mambocrow
10-19-2008, 12:42 AM
"No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public".

H. L. Mencken

feppytweed
10-19-2008, 01:01 AM
The only quote I can think of at the moment is one I heard from a friend a couple weeks ago.

"Do whatever floats your boat, so long as you don't rock mine."

Influential Panda
10-19-2008, 01:09 AM
"Any damn fool can burn down a barn." --Bill Clinton

"Waiter, taste this soup."
"I'm sorry sir, is it too hot?
"Taste the soup"
"Is it too cold?"
"Taste the soup"
"Perhaps you would like me to take it back?"
"Taste the soup"
"OK, fine. Where's your spoon?"
"a ha!" --Coming to America, I believe

Grumman
10-19-2008, 01:55 AM
"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."
-Dave Barry

"Your mistletoe is no match for my TOW missile!"
-Robot Santa, Futurama

"It's just that you have all those squishy parts, Master. And all that water! How the constant sloshing doesn't drive you mad, I have no idea."
-HK-47, Knights of the Old Republic

"Love is a very powerful force. Even more so when it's focused into a coherent beam of destruction."
-Black Mage, 8-bit Theater

"In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it."
-GLaDOS, Portal

Peter Morris
10-19-2008, 02:00 AM
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western spiral arm of the galaxy lies a small and utterly unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this sun at a distance of approximately 93 million miles lies a blue-green planet whose ape descended life forms are still so amazingly primitive that they still think that digital watches are a pretty neat idea.


They simply hung in the air in much the same way that bricks don't.


"If we're lucky it's a Vogon come to throw us out of the airlock"
"And If we're unlucky?"
"The captain might want to read us some of his poetry first."


The story so far. In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Captain_C
10-19-2008, 02:01 AM
Something I had in my locker at work for years:


"And I promise you this, if we succeed, no-one will remember. And if we fail, no one will forget!'

-Captain Carrot, Jingo by Terry Pratchett

Max the Immortal
10-19-2008, 03:08 AM
Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri has plenty of fun quotes, each tied to a particular new technology or secret project.

Why do you insist that the human genetic code is "sacred" or "taboo"? It is a chemical process and nothing more. For that matter, we are chemical processes, and nothing more. If you deny yourself a useful tool simply because it reminds you uncomfortably of your mortality, you are uselessly and pointlessly crippling yourself.
--Chairman Sheng-Ji Yang

Richard Baxter piloted his recon rover into the fungal vortex and single-handedly held off six waves of mindworms. We immediately purchased his identity manifest and repackaged it as the Recon Rover Rick character for a multi-tier media campaign: movies, touchvids, holos, the works. People need heroes. They don't need to know that he died clawing his eyes out and screaming for mercy; the real story would just hurt sales.

"Abort, Retry, Fail?" was the phrase some wormdog scrawled next to the door of the Edit Universe project room. And when the new dataspinners started working, fabricating their worlds on the huge organic comp systems, we'd remind them: If you see this message, always choose retry.

God does not play dice.
--Albert Eintein

Einstein would turn over in his grave. Not only does God play dice, the dice are loaded.
--Chairman Sheng-Ji Yang, upon the discovery of probability mechanics

Man's unfailing capacity to believe what he prefers to be true, rather than what the evidence shows to be likely and possible, has always astounded me. We long for a caring universe which will save us from our childish mistakes, and in the face of mountains of evidence to the contrary we will pin all our hopes on the slimmest of doubts. "God has not been proven not to exist, therefore he must exist."
Academician Prokhor Zakharov

Der Trihs
10-19-2008, 04:37 AM
"You sacrificed orphans . . for power ?!"

"Of course ! If I'd sacrificed them for nothing, that would've made me sick !" - White and Black Mage, 8-Bit Theatre



"No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style" - Jhereg saying, Vlad Taltos books



"Your superior intellects are no match for our puny weapons !" - one of the Simpson's Halloween episodes


"There's no God, no side of the angels. There's just me." - some guy named Kane ( ? ) from a demons & apocalypse story I recall only that quote from




Mobius the Timestreamer and Kain the vampire Blood Omen cutscene :

"I've seen the future, Kain ! You die !"

"But I AM dead." < chops off Mobius's head >

Cicero
10-19-2008, 04:51 AM
This is a far far better thing I do than I have ever done before. This is a far better rest than I have known.- Sidney Carton (hope I got it right).

Sublight
10-19-2008, 06:04 AM
"My life's path is strewn with cowpats from the devil's own satanic herd!"
-Edmund, Blackadder II

"Villain, you have undone our mother."
"I have done thy mother."
-Shakespeare, Titus Andronicus

Carson O'Genic
10-19-2008, 06:30 AM
Grau, theure freund ist alles theorie,
und groen das lebens goldner baum.

- I think it's Goethe, but I read it in an Huxley essay.


...your people I do not understand
to you I shall put an end. And you'll never hear surf music again.

- Third Stone From the Sun, J.Hendrix

Dervorin
10-19-2008, 08:21 AM
"The fact of his free fall was like the old philosophical conundrum about the tree that falls in the forest. The answer must be, I think, that beauty and grace are performed whether or not we will or sense them. The least we can do is try to be there. "
- Annie Dillard, "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek"

"I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
- Jerome K. Jerome

"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."
- PG Wodehouse

Der Trihs
10-19-2008, 08:49 AM
"Bring on your army, Matthew and Alexandra, and I'll show them all the awful things I've learned to do since I died." - Jacob's ghost, The Man With The Golden Torc



"We're the Justice League. We've beaten up real gods and made them cry." - Never actually saw the comic this is from, but the line has stuck in my head since I saw it quoted.



"They went in with the long knives, and left nothing but blood and silence behind them." - Vortex




"I was going to declare war on the world, and I was going to lose." - Doctor Impossible, Soon I Will Be Invincible



Marvel Thor and Loki, after Loki turned him into a frog for a time :

Thor : "I would like to leave you something. A remembrance, a memento of my recent transformation."

Loki : "Well, get on with it."

* CRUNCH ! *

Loki : "AHHHHH ! ! You broke my arm ! !"

Thor : "Ah ! As always, the cunning mind of Loki pierces to the heart of the matter !"

IvoryTowerDenizen
10-19-2008, 08:53 AM
"If I have seen further than others it is because I stood on the shoulders of giants"

Issac Newton


"This is a very simple game, you hit the ball, you throw the ball, you catch the ball"- Bull Durham

JohnT
10-19-2008, 09:27 AM
Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night:
God said, "Let Newton Be!" and all was light.

Alexander Pope, 18th century.

Archergal
10-19-2008, 11:27 AM
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded. -- Terry Pratchett (arguably one of my favorite quotes of all time.)

Comparisons are odorous. -- Dogsbody, from Much Ado About Nothing

ivylass
10-19-2008, 11:35 AM
I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

That hurts here (pointing to heart) and here (pointing to head.) (That's from Scrubs. My daughter and I love quoting the lines at each other.)

It's not Geordie. It's me, Claire (from Voyager by Diana Gabaldon.) Every time I read that line I get a schoompy thrill.

BrotherCadfael
10-19-2008, 12:27 PM
"Some days the magic works. Some days, it doesn't."

From Little Big Man. I use this one almost daily (I work in IT, and it applies almost daily!).

IvoryTowerDenizen
10-19-2008, 12:40 PM
Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night:
God said, "Let Newton Be!" and all was light.

Alexander Pope, 18th century.

This I like.

Peter Morris
10-19-2008, 01:06 PM
Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night:
God said, "Let Newton Be!" and all was light.

Alexander Pope, 18th century.

"It did not last; the Devil howling 'Ho!
Let Einstein Be!' restored the status quo." -

John Collings Squire

Cat Jones
10-19-2008, 01:21 PM
A man's right to kill himself is inviolable but sometimes a friend can make it unnecessary - Steinbeck, either Tortilla Flat or Cannery Row (we weren't meant to google right ?)

".. on to Mansfield that once romantic now utterly disheartening colliery town" - D.H. Lawrence describing my home town in Lady Chatterley

You can't run faster than a bear but I like to think I only need to run faster than the other bloke - and he's carrying a camera ! - wildlife presenter (among other things) Sir David Attenborough

My candle burns at both ends, it gives a lovely light but oh my foes and ah my friends it will not last the night - Edna St Vincent Millay

Actions speak louder than accents - this was in an article about a female British racehorse trainer who had it framed on her wall but don't know where it comes from.

Dylan Thomas called Swansea (my other home town) "a lovely ugly town" in the late 90s film Twin Town this was updated to "pretty shitty city".

Not quotes but I could probably recite Frost's "The Road Less Traveled" & Rossetti's "Remember" without too much stumbling and I've random Shakespeare chunks hidden away too. I wish I could remember more of this poem ...

Oh my trust in freedom
Wrap me warm
Against this matress thin
And blanket torn
Out there is ....

That's it I'm off to the bookshelf !

Lust4Life
10-19-2008, 02:38 PM
If I should fall think only this of me

That theres some corner of a foreign field

That is forever England

There shall be in that rich earth a richer dust concealed

A dust whom England bore,shaped,made aware

Gave once her flowers to love

Her ways to roam

A body of Englands breathing English air

Washed by her rivers,blest by the suns of home




Rupert Brooke killed on the Western front 1915


























In that rich earth a richer dust

Typo Knig
10-19-2008, 02:50 PM
"What does the creature made all of seadrift do on the dry sand?
What does the mind do - each morning - waking?"

"He didn't know if he was sane or insane. The thought was driving him insane."

"To go is to return."

"He saw the world from last September."

All from The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. LeGuin. The first was my email sig file for a time. I'm not sure of the wording on the last one.

"You may think I'm dethpicable, but I'm different. Pain HURT-THS me!" Daffy Duck (another sig file)

"I don't see buildings. I see people." Anonymous WTC collapse witness on 9/11/01.

"There are five hundred thousand words in the English language, and there are seven of them you cannot say on television. They must be *bad* words! That's what we call them - 'bad words'. 'You said a bad word!' (Pow) 'Ow! Wah!'. That's right - you get over here - you seven!" ... "But there are no bad words. There are bad deeds, bad intentions - and WORDS." George Carlin

"There is an asymmetry in the way we view matter and energy." the first sentence of Einstein's 1905 paper on the photoelectric effect - the one that won him the Nobel Prize. I cannot reliably cite the full first paragraph from memory, but it's stunningly brilliant, beautifully written, and ballsy. The last because it was Einstein's previous paper earlier that same year on Brownian Motion that drove the last nail in the coffin of the idea that matter was continuous, and atoms were just good book-keeping. That patent clerk is going places, I tells ya!

"Subtle is the Lord, but malicious he is not" Einstein again. Part of what prompted Neils Bohr to say "Albert, stop telling God what to do!"

"Poor man wanna be rich. Rich man wanna be king. And the king ain't satisfied till he rules everything." Bruce Springsteen "Badlands"

"Those memories come back to haunt me
They haunt me like a curse.
Is a dream a lie
When it don't come true
Or is it something worse?" Bruuuce again - "The River"

"Fear's a powerful thing.
It'll take your God-filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust." Springsteen again - "Devils and Dust"

"The Taj Mahal, the pyramids of Egypt are unique I suppose.
When they built you brother, they broke the mold." The Boss once more - "Terry's Song"

[I'm from New Jersey - it's the law! ;) ]

"May the father of peace bring peace to all who mourn. Amen." My favorite translation of the Mourner's Kaddish. The original is anonymous of course.

"Fast, cheap, good - pick two!" poster at most workplaces - anonymous again.

"Martel was angry - so much he did not turn his blood from anger." Cordwainer Smith (pen name for Paul Lineberger) in "Scanners Live in Vain"

A few from John Kessel's "Faustfeathers":

Groucho Faustus: "With a couple more assistants like you, I could change gold into base metal"

Grouco: "Around here time is money, and my time is woith a couple of marks. You boys look like a couple of marks - are you brothers?"

Satan: "Behold Dis - the city of Hell!"
Groucho: "You're a heck of a travel agent - see Dis and Die!"

Diccolini (Chico): "Bella felissima ronzoni alla pachino!"
Helen of Troy: "You know I don't speak Latin, my lord."
Chico: "Atsa no Latin. Atsa Italian"
Helen: "I don't peak that either."
Chico: "Atsa OK - neither do I!"

ETA: "For a successful technical program, reality must take precedence over public relations, because nature cannot be fooled." Richard P. Feynman - last sentence of the Appendix to the Challenger Commission Report.

Mr. Excellent
10-19-2008, 03:10 PM
"Tempt me not to anger!" - King Lear. Poor bastard.

mbh
10-19-2008, 03:21 PM
"In the mirrors of the many judgements, my hands are the color of blood. I destroy [bad guys] when I find them, and on that day of which the prophets speak, but in which they do not truly believe, then I, too, will go down into darkness, swallowing curses. But until that day, I will not wash my hands, nor let them stand idle."
Roger Zelazny, The Guns of Avalon.



"The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft the sword from the bosom of the water, signifying that I, Arthur, by Divine Providence, was to wield Excalibur. That is why I'm your king!"

"Strange women, lying in ponds, distributing weaponry, is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart lugged a sword at you! If I was to go around saying I was an emperor, because some moistened bint tossed a scimitar at me, they'd lock me away!"
Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

longhair75
10-19-2008, 05:17 PM
"Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!" -- Auntie Mame

JpnDude
10-19-2008, 05:19 PM
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

- Mahatma Gandhi

Wile E
10-19-2008, 05:45 PM
"Something, something Dark Side, something, something Complete."





Yes, that's pretty much the actual quote from Family Guy. It's all in how you say it.

Chefguy
10-19-2008, 05:58 PM
The Cremation of Sam McGee

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge,
I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where
the cotton blooms and grows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam
'round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed
to hold him like a spell:
Though he'd often say in his homely way that
"he'd sooner live in hell." --Robert Service

It gets better towards the end, but that's all I can quote.

rowrrbazzle
10-19-2008, 06:24 PM
"...it was the first time that I had seen a person whose profession was telling lies - unless one counts journalists." Orwell, "Homage to Catalonia"

"One has to belong to the intelligentsia to believe things like that: no ordinary man would be such a fool." Orwell, "Notes on Nationalism"

Attack from the 3rd dimension
10-19-2008, 07:15 PM
He who the rising tide of anger holds
Like a chariot circling o'er the plains
He truly is the charioteer
Other men but hold the reins

Shakyamuni Buddha

Sefton
10-19-2008, 07:29 PM
Many people would sooner die than think. Most do.

Bertrand Russell

Peter Morris
10-19-2008, 07:44 PM
The chief defect of Henry King
Was chewing little bits of string
At last he swallowed somw which tied
Itself in ugly knots inside.
Physicians of the utmost fame
Were called at once but when they came
They answered as they took their fees
"There is no cure for this disease
Henry will very soon be dead"
His parents stood around his bed
Lamenting his untimely death
When Henry with his latest breath
Cried "Oh my friends be warned by me
That breakfast, dinner, lunch and tea
Are all the human frame requires"
With that the wretched child expires.

Hillaire Belloc

jackdavinci
10-19-2008, 07:49 PM
"This must be Thursday. I Never could get the hang of Thursdays"

"I feel unpleasantly drunk"
"What's so unpleasant about that?"
"Ask a glass of water"

from Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy

"O socii neque ni quari"

"Arma virumque cano, sumus ante malorum"

from The Aenied

Paul in Qatar
10-19-2008, 07:50 PM
All of Verses 3 to 13 of Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians.
All of Sam McGee
All of Bill the Bomber
All of Kubla Khan
All of The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere
The "Attack ships on fire" speech
The "A fella can remember" speech from Citizen Kane.

I have no life

Bobotheoptimist
10-19-2008, 11:57 PM
"We cannot invade the mainland United States, there would be a rifle behind every blade of grass" - Admiral Yamomoto (sp?)

"Those who would give up an essential liberty for a temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjaman Franklin, I think

"There are strange things done in the midnight sun, by the men who moil for gold" Robert Service.

Cicero
10-20-2008, 12:17 AM
If I should fall think only this of me

That theres some corner of a foreign field

That is forever England

There shall be in that rich earth a richer dust concealed

A dust whom England bore,shaped,made aware

Gave once her flowers to love

Her ways to roam

A body of Englands breathing English air

Washed by her rivers,blest by the suns of home




Rupert Brooke killed on the Western front 1915


























In that rich earth a richer dust

Nit pick. Rupert Brooke did not die on the western front. He died on Skyros (near Gallipoli) from suspected blood poisoning from an insect bite.

Elendil's Heir
10-20-2008, 12:31 AM
"Nothing could be worse than to be completely understood." - attrib. to Nietschze

"Fish and guests stink after three days." - Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac

"You don't understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me." - Rorschach, Watchmen

"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair." - Shelley, Ozymandias

"You cheated!" - Will
"Pirate!" - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

"I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - attrib. to Voltaire

"You wore blue. The Germans wore grey." - Rick Blaine, Casablanca

"You see, but you do not observe." - Sherlock Holmes

"Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot!" - Sherlock Holmes

"Allow me to remind you of the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime."
"The dog did nothing in the nighttime!"
"That was the curious incident." - Sherlock Holmes

"To be prepared for war is the surest means of ensuring peace." - George Washington

"...the government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, asking only that they who live under its protection demean themselves as good citizens." - George Washington

"A house divided against itself cannot stand." - Abraham Lincoln

"I like my preachers to look as if they're fighting bees." - Abraham Lincoln

"Shoot straight, you bastards. Don't make a mess of it!" - Harry Morant, Breaker Morant

Peter Morris
10-20-2008, 12:31 AM
"There are strange things done in the midnight sun, by the men who moil for gold" Robert Service.

If you've seen the pistons of the mighty C.P.R.
With the driving force of a thousand horse then you know what pistons are.

Robert Service. (Not)

movingfinger
10-20-2008, 12:39 AM
On a morning from a Bogart movie
in a country where they turn back time,
you go strolling through the crowd like
Peter Lorre,
contemplating a crime.

"Year of the Cat" by Al Stewart

Sublight
10-20-2008, 01:58 AM
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs
B is for Basil, assaulted by bears
C is for Clara who wasted away
D is for Desmond, thrown from a sleigh
E is for Edmund who choked on a peach
F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech
G is for George, smothered under a rug
H is for Hector, done in by a thug
I is for Ida who drowned in the lake
J is for James who took lye by mistake
K is for Kate who was struck with an ax
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks
M is for Mary who was swept out to sea
N is for Neville who died of ennui
O is for Olive, run through with an awl
P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire
R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire
S is for Sarah who perished of fits
T is for Titus who flew into bits
U is for Una who slipped down a drain
V is for Victor, squashed under a train
W is for Winnie, embedded in ice
X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice
Y is for Yorick, whose head was knocked in
and Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin

-Edward Gorey, The Gashleycrumb Tinies



There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium, and hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium, and nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium, and iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium. Europium, zirconium lutetium, vanadium and lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium. And gold and protactinium and indium and gallium... and iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium, and boron, gadolinium niobium, iridium, and strontium and silicon and silver and samarium, and bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium and barium.

There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium, and phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium and manganese and mercury, molybdenum magnesium, dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium. There's lead, praseodymium and platinum, plutonium, palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium, and tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium... and cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.

There's sulfur, californium, and fermium, berkelium and also mendelevium einsteinium, nobelium, and argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium... and chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin and sodium.

These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard,
and there may be many others but they haven't been discovered.

-Tom Lehrer, The Elements

ETA: they're perhaps a bit long for quotes, but they're both good for passing time and keeping cadence while exercising.

Der Trihs
10-20-2008, 07:24 AM
"Big as a Norse god, and twice as strong." - Description of Saval Bork, from the Matador books



"Garret, you're so slick you'd slide out of your own coffin." - Glen Cook's Garret series



"And the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all." - The Masque of the Red Death



"What do you know of the art of the sword ?"

"Well, what I know boils down to this. If you see someone running at you with a sword, you put two rounds into their chest to slow them down, and one into their brain to finish them off." - Noriko and Zeb, Sidhe Devil



"Pardon me, if I deign to interfere in your diligent mutual efforts to encourage mutation through radioactivity."

"There is not a man I meet, but that I could take his life." - Haviland Tuf, the Tuf Voyaging stories.



"Go for the eyes Boo ! GO FOR THE EYES ! SQUEEEEE !" - Minsc and Boo



"And instead of a Dark Lord, you would have a Queen ! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn ! Treacherous as the sea ! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth ! All shall love me and despair !
.
.
.
I pass the test. I shall diminish, and go into the West. And remain Galadriel." - Galadriel going a bit over the top ( I liked it anyway )

Koxinga
10-20-2008, 07:40 AM
And this worldly hope men set their hearts upon
Turns ashes -- or it prospers, and anon,
Like snow upon the desert's dusty face
Lighting a little hour or two -- is gone.

Come, fill the cup, and in the fire of Spring
Your winter garment of Repentance fling!
The Bird of Time has but a little way
To flutter -- and the Bird is on the Wing.

And about two dozen others from the Rubaiyat I know from memory.

Annie-Xmas
10-20-2008, 08:29 AM
Because in the world according to Garp, we are all terminal cases.

Elendil's Heir
10-20-2008, 09:12 AM
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs
B is for Basil, assaulted by bears
C is for Clara who wasted away
D is for Desmond, thrown from a sleigh
E is for Edmund who choked on a peach
F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech
G is for George, smothered under a rug
H is for Hector, done in by a thug
I is for Ida who drowned in the lake
J is for James who took lye by mistake
K is for Kate who was struck with an ax
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks
M is for Mary who was swept out to sea
N is for Neville who died of ennui
O is for Olive, run through with an awl
P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire
R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire
S is for Sarah who perished of fits
T is for Titus who flew into bits
U is for Una who slipped down a drain
V is for Victor, squashed under a train
W is for Winnie, embedded in ice
X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice
Y is for Yorick, whose head was knocked in
and Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin

-Edward Gorey, The Gashleycrumb Tinies...

I'm very impressed that you know this by heart. But S is Susan (my wife, who had a postcard with her namesake's untimely passing on it).

Kizarvexius
10-20-2008, 10:48 AM
Sing, goddess, the anger of Peleus' son Achilleus
and its devastation, which put pains thousandfold
upon the Achaeans, hurled in their multitudes to the
house of Hades the strong souls of heroes, but gave their bodies
to be the delicate feasting of dogs, of all birds,
and the will of Zeus was accomplished since that time
when first there stood in division of conflict Atreus' son, the lord of men,
and brilliant Achilleus. What god was it then set them together in bitter collision?
Zeus's son, and Leto's, Apollo, who, in anger at the king,
drove the foul pestilence along the host, and the people perished.

- Lattimore's translation of The Iliad


O Fortuna velut luna status variabilis
Semper crescis aut decrescis
Vita detestabilis
Nunc obdurat et tunc curat
Ludo mentis aciem
Egestatem potestatum
Dissolvit ut glaciem

Sors immanis et innanis
Rota tu volubilis
Status malus vana salus
semper dissolubilis
Obrum brata et velata
Mihi quoque niteris
Nunc per ludum dorsum nudum
Ferro tui sceleris

Sors salutis et virtutis
Mihi nunc contraria
Est affectus et defectus
semper in angaria
Hac in hora sine mora
Corde pulsum tangite
Quod per sortem sternet fortem
Mecum omnes plangite

- O Fortuna, from Carmina Burana


In taberna quando summus
Non curamus quid sit humus
Sed ad ludum properamus
Cui semper insudamus

Quid agator in taberna
Ubi numus et pincerna
Hoc est opus in querator
Si quid loquor audiator

- In taberna (the first two stanzas, anyway), from Carmina Burana

With gratuitous apologies for any butchery of Latin I may have committed.

Sublata
10-20-2008, 10:56 AM
Ben Battle was a soldier bold
And used to war's alarms,
But a cannonball took off his legs
So he laid down his arms....
--Thomas Hood, Faithless Nelly Gray

The paths of glory lead but to the grave.
--Thomas Gray, Elegy in a Country Churchyard

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more.
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
--Shakespeare, Macbeth

Chefguy
10-20-2008, 11:12 AM
COCKSUCKERS!!!

--Calamity Jane, in the HBO series: Deadwood

muldoonthief
10-20-2008, 11:31 AM
"And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?"

- William Butler Yeats

"As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods.
They kill us for their sport."

- Shakespeare, King Lear

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"
- Ben Franklin

I hate to do this, but:


E is for Edmund who choked on a peach
M is for Mary who was swept out to sea
S is for Sarah who perished of fits


are actually Ernest, Maud, and Susan.

mbh
10-20-2008, 02:05 PM
A Elbereth Gilthoniel
Silivren penna miriel
O galadhremin ennorath
Fanuilos, le linnathon
Nef aiar si nef airon

Tolkien, Lord of the Rings.

Aye, every inch a king.
When I do stare, see how the subject quakes.
I pardon that man's life.
What was thy cause?
Adultery?
Thou wilt not die; die for adultery, no!
The wren goes to it, and the small gilded fly does lecher in my sight.
Let copulation thrive! For Gloucester's bastard son was kinder to his father,
than my daughers, got between lawful sheets.

Shakespeare, King Lear. (Although it was actually Monty Python's "The Album of the Soundtrack of the Trailer of the Film of Monty Python and the Holy Grail" that brought it to my attention.

zamboniracer
10-20-2008, 02:34 PM
"You've got to have a catcher, otherwise you'll have a lot of passed balls." ~ Casey Stengel

"I gave Mike Cuellar more chances than my first wife" ~ Earl Weaver

"The only thing Earl knows about pitching is that he couldn't hit it." ~ Jim Palmer

Wargamer
10-20-2008, 02:39 PM
"Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee!"
"Madam, if you were my wife, I'd surely drink it."

schnuckiputzi
10-20-2008, 02:51 PM
All of Robert Service's 'The Cremation of Sam McGee' -- goes down well with middle schoolers:D
My nuclear physicist BIL taught me lots when I was an impressionable lass:
One day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys stood up to fight
They stood back to back and faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policemen heard the noise,
Came and shot the two dead boys.
If you don't believe me, ask the blind man
He saw it all.

And the parody of 'Show me the way to go home' of Jaws fame:
Indicate the way to my residence
I'm fatigued and I wish to retire
I had a sip of cider 60 minutes ago
and it went straight to my cerebellum
Wherever I perambulate
On land or sea or atmospheric vapor
You can always hear me singing this melody
Show me the way to go home.

What a thing to teach a ten-year old.:rolleyes:

Paul in Qatar
10-20-2008, 03:08 PM
Oh.... also

Three rings for the elven kings under the sky....

===
and also

Not all that is gold glitters ....

Zakalwe
10-20-2008, 03:45 PM
"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings."

The Walrus and The Carpenter
Lewis Carroll

Lissla Lissar
10-20-2008, 04:07 PM
I don't mind day
Night comes and goes,
It's afternoons
Get up my nose.

Nothing to do
In your see-through shell
Afternoons for prawns
Are hell


My life is light
Waiting like a feath on the back of my hand.
Dust in sunlight, and memory in corners
Wait for the wind that chills
Towards the dead land
Eilot, A Song for Simeon


She sat on the saddle, said hells, pulled it off, and began painstaking redesigning it to follow the curve of Talat's back, and her legs.
-Robin McKinley, The Hero and the Crown

There's a certain shaft of light
Winter afternoons
That oppresses, like the heft
Of cathedral tunes...
Emily Dickinson


Today I ruined a perfectly good salad.
-Nigel Slater, Kitchen Diaries

"Well, the subject of Egyptian Burrito came up", I said."
-Calvin Trillin, Don't Mention It


Oh, wait, this wasn't Quotes You've Got Floating Around In Your Head Right Now?

rivulus
10-20-2008, 04:48 PM
O Antony. I have followed thee to this...
We could not stall together in the whole world:
But yet let me lament with tears
As sov'reign as the blood of hearts
That thou, my brother... my mate in empire,
Friend and companion in the front of war...
That our stars, unreconciliable, should divide
Our equalness to this.

Caesar, Antony and Cleopatra by Samuel Barber, sliced and diced from Shakespeare and set to beautiful music


Give me some music; music, moody food
Of us that trade in love

Cleopatra, Antony and Cleopatra

Paul in Qatar
10-20-2008, 04:51 PM
"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings."

The Walrus and The Carpenter
Lewis Carroll

Oh, and that too.

Der Trihs
10-20-2008, 04:54 PM
"The gods gathered like flies above the sacrifice, drawn by it's sweet savor." - Epic of Gilgamesh IIRC



"Perhaps it's men who are the cowards, at the Core." - Niven's At the Core, where it's discovered that the galactic core is exploding; humans pretty much ignore it, while the cowardly Puppeteer civilization flees.



"With such a weapon I could vaporize the Earth !"

"Speaker !"

"It was a natural thought Louis." - Speaker To Animals and Louis Wu, Ringworld

cochrane
10-20-2008, 06:15 PM
"What we've got here...is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week. Which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. And I don't like it, any more than you men." - Strother Martin from Cool Hand Luke

Not the author, obviously, but he delivered the passage in the movie.

akira5822
10-20-2008, 06:44 PM
If you're going though hell,Keep going. -- Winston Churchill

Lissla Lissar
10-20-2008, 09:19 PM
Ones I really love (not that I don't love the above ones).

The problem with communication between the sexes", said MacPhee, "Is that women use a language without nouns. If two men are working in a kitchen together, one would say to the other, 'Put this bowl in the blue one you'll find on top of the refrigerator. If two women are, one would say to the other, 'Put this one in that one over there.' Thus there is a phatic hiatus."
-C. S. Lewis, That Hideous Strength

I do not know much about gods
But I think that the river is a strong, brown god.
Sullen, untamed, and intractable,
Patient to some degree. A t first recognised as a frontier
Then only a problem confronting the builder of bridges.
The problem once solved, the brown god is almost forgotten
By the dwellers in cities,
Ever, however, intractable. Keeping his seasons and rages,
Destroyer, reminder of what men choose to forget...

The sea has many voices,
Many gods and many voices.

The salt is on the briar rose
The fog is in the fir tree.
The sea howl, and the sea yelp, are different voices
Often together heard
The whine in the rigging
The menace and caress of wave that breaks on water,
The distant rote in the granite teeth,
The wailing warning of the distant headland,
And the heaving groaner, rounded homeward
Are all sea voices...
-Eliot, The Dry Salvages

At fourteen I married My Lord you
I never laughed, being bashful
I lowered my head to the wall
Called to, a thousand times, I never looked back

At fifteen I stopped scowling.
I desired my dust to be mingled with yours
Forever and forever and forever
Why should I climb the lookout?

At sixteen you departed,
And went into far Ku-To-Yen, by the river of swirling eddies
And you have been gone now five months.
The monkey make sorrowful noise overhead.
You dragged your feet as you went out.

By the gate, now, the moss is grown
The different mosses. too deep to clear them away!
The leaves fall early this autumn, in wind.
The paired butterflies are already yellow with August,
Over the grass in the west garden.
They hurt me- I grow older.
If you are coming down through the Narrows of the river Kiang
Please let me know beforehand, and I will come out to meet you
As far as Cho-fu-sa.
-Ezra Pound, The River-Merchant's Wife- A Letter

BrainGlutton
10-20-2008, 09:32 PM
"If chaos were lightning, he would be the man on top of a hill in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting "All gods are bastards!'"

-- The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett

Jophiel
10-20-2008, 09:45 PM
"Was there ever a dog that could fly?"
"Yes, but the whitecoats cut off its wings to see what would happen."
"What did happen?"
"It couldn't fly."

-- Richard Adams, The Plague Dogs

"It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression 'As pretty as an airport'."

-- Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

Fetchund
10-20-2008, 10:01 PM
"Thou speakest aright - I am that merry wanderer of the night. I jest to Oberon, and make him smile, when I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile..."

Puck. Twelfth Night, Shakespeare.

I know the whole speech, I just didn't feel like typing any more of it!

Peter Morris
10-20-2008, 10:31 PM
"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings."

The Walrus and The Carpenter
Lewis Carroll

and:

Will you walk a little faster said a whiting to a snail
There's a porpoise close behind us and he's treading on my tail
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance
they are waiting on the seashore won't you come and join the dance



Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogoves and the mome raths outgrabe


You are old father william the young man said
And your hair has become very white
And yet you repeatedly stand on your head
Do you think at your age it is right?

lizardling
10-20-2008, 10:45 PM
"What we have here... is a failure to communicate." -- Cool Hand Luke (so, so applicable to communications. :D )

"My brother, my captain, my King." -- Peter Jackson's 'Lord of the Rings' (this one always makes me choke up a bit)

"We are the music-makers and
We are the dreamers of dreams
...
World-losers and world-forsakers
Upon whom the pale moon gleams
Yet we are the movers and the shakers
Of the world forever, it seems."
-- Arthur Edgar William O'Shaughnessy, 'Ode'

"What, still you would have their praise!
But here's a haughtier text,
The labyrinth of her days
That her own strangeness perplexed;
And how what dreaming she gave
Earned slander, ingratitude,
From self-same dolt and knave;
Aye, and worse wrong than these.
Yet she, singing upon her road,
Half lion, half child, is at peace."
-- W.B. Yeats, "Against Unworthy Praise"

"Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;
And yet you will weep and know why,"
-- Gerard Manley Hopkins, "Goldengrove Unleaving"

"Lasciate ogni speranza voi ch'entrate." (Abandon all hope, ye who enter here)
-- Dante, "The Divine Comedy"

Peter Morris
10-20-2008, 11:00 PM
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A mighty pleasure dome decree
Where Alph the sacred river ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea

Coleridge

BrassyPhrase
10-20-2008, 11:29 PM
Oh, if only it were all so simple!

If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds. And it was only necessary to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them.

But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being.

And who can destroy a piece of their own heart?

Alexandr Solzhenitsyn

Snowboarder Bo
10-20-2008, 11:46 PM
I have come here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum.

If you like to gamble I tell ya I'm your man
You win some lose some it's all the same to me

Koxinga
10-20-2008, 11:49 PM
"Thou speakest aright - I am that merry wanderer of the night. I jest to Oberon, and make him smile, when I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile..."

Puck. Twelfth Night, Shakespeare.

I know the whole speech, I just didn't feel like typing any more of it!

Thou speakest aright . . . (http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/pib/2006/pib060407.gif)

K364
10-21-2008, 12:05 AM
"A Saturday afternoon in November was approaching the time of twilight, and the vast tract of unenclosed wild known as Egdon Heath embrowned itself moment by moment." - Thomas Hardy, The Return of the Native.

Sad that all my knowledge of the great works of literature and art are only known to me because of Month Python and The Simpsons.

HerbalTea
10-21-2008, 03:41 AM
From Philip Larkin's This Be the Verse:

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. - PG Wodehouse

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with very odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like. - Lemony Snicket from The Slippery Slope

It's strange to have a creation out there. A deeply mutated version of yourself running loose and screwing everything up. I wonder if this is how parents feel. - Dexter

Cyberhwk
10-21-2008, 03:49 AM
"As if it matters how a man falls down!"
"When the fall is all that is left, it matters a great deal."

- A Lion in Winter

Bricker
10-21-2008, 08:19 AM
...you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honour and his toil;
Death closes all: but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.

The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks,
The long day wanes, the slow moon climbs, the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,
'tis is not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows, for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.

It may be that the gulfs will wash us down;
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now at that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Max Torque
10-21-2008, 10:27 AM
"And silent as stone he rode down alone
From the floor of the double-damned."
-- Ogden Nash, "A Tale of the Thirteenth Floor" (http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-tale-of-the-thirteenth-floor/), a Nash poem not enough people know about; everyone knows the funny stuff, but man, could he do dark, too....

"And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming..."
-- E.A. Poe, "The Raven". Got most of the poem memorized, but this line is my favorite.

Elendil's Heir
10-21-2008, 10:35 AM
"Thou speakest aright - I am that merry wanderer of the night. I jest to Oberon, and make him smile, when I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile..."

Puck. Twelfth Night, Shakespeare....

I believe that's from A Midsummer's Night's Dream. In a high school production, I played Oberon, whose opening line (which I once blanked on, much to my horror), was "Ill-met by moonlight, proud Titania!"

Long Time First Time
10-21-2008, 10:54 AM
This is the quote I use at the start of my lectures on TB and brucellosis (both on the rise):

" He that will not apply new remedies must accept new evils, for time is the great innovator" - Francis Bacon



Also:

"When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain

Alive At Both Ends
10-21-2008, 11:03 AM
When Grandmama fell off the boat
And couldn't swim (and wouldn't float),
Matilda just stood by and smiled.
I almost could have slapped the child.

------

I had written to Aunt Maud
Who was on a trip abroad
When I heard she'd died of cramp,
Just too late to save the stamp.

------

During dinner at the Ritz
Father kept on having fits.
And, which made my sorrow greater,
I was left to tip the waiter.

------

When Mrs Gorm (Aunt Eloise)
Was stung to death by savage bees,
Her husband (Prebendary Gorm)
Put on his veil, and took the swarm.
He's publishing a book next May,
On "How to make Bee-keeping Pay".


All by Harry Graham, in my opinion the greatest ever writer of humorous verse (though sadly forgotten these days).

Elendil's Heir
10-21-2008, 11:28 AM
"A city of Northern charm and Southern efficiency." - John F. Kennedy, describing Washington, D.C.

"It was involuntary. They sank my boat." - JFK, asked how he became a hero in WW2

"Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." - JFK, Inaugural Address

"Victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan." - JFK, after the Bay of Pigs (not original to him, I've since read)

"I am the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris." - JFK, about the splash his wife had made

"Don't get mad; get even." - JFK, on politics

"There are no whites-only sections in our military cemeteries." - JFK, on segregation

"'Don't spend a penny more than necessary. I'll be damned if I'll buy a landslide.'" - JFK, pretending to read a telegram from his father at a political dinner

"This is probably the greatest accumulation of talent and brilliance in the White House since Thomas Jefferson dined alone." - JFK, to a gathering of Nobel Prize laureates

Skald the Rhymer
10-21-2008, 01:56 PM
From Philip Larkin's This Be the Verse:

<snip>

Fool of a Took! You forget the opening, which is half the awesomeness!

Assuming you were respecting copyright, here's the whole thing (http://www.artofeurope.com/larkin/lar2.htm).

Yeticus Rex
10-21-2008, 06:56 PM
"I don't care if this violates the Geneva Conventions, I want it. "

-Gladys

I love using this line whenever I'm very emphatic about getting something.....using the character's tone of voice.....very funny.

MarcusF
10-21-2008, 07:31 PM
Treason doth never prosper; what's the reason?
For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
(?)

Remote and ineffectual Don
That dared attack my Chesterton,
(Hilaire Belloc)

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York
(Richard III)

Enter a bleeding Sergeant: "What bloody man is this?"
(sort of MacBeth!)

ProudlyDefiant
10-21-2008, 08:12 PM
"All women go through a black lace drawers time." Betty Smith, A Tree Grows In Brooklyn

chacoguy
10-21-2008, 08:59 PM
"I like the desert; it's cleaner."

-T.E. Lawrence

Sitnam
10-21-2008, 09:35 PM
There's a lot of love for Churchill around here so I'll add one of my favorite exchanges.

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.”

Winston Churchill's reply: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one."

And my favorite British Parliment slam from John Wilkes to the Earl of Sandwich:
"I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox."
"That will depend, my Lord, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."

MOIDALIZE
10-21-2008, 09:43 PM
"We're not just gonna shoot the bastards. We're gonna tear out their living guts, and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're gonna murder those bastards by the bushel!"

-George Patton, from the movie "Patton"

I remember it because it's a cool quote and because a metal band sampled it at the beginning of a particularly brutal song.

Koxinga
10-22-2008, 12:04 AM
"If a guy's close to you, you can't slight him. You can't slight that guy. A real grievance can be resolved; differences can be resolved. But an imaginary hurt, a slight - that motherfucker gonna hate you 'til the day he dies."
-- Jack Nicholson playing Jimmy Hoffa

Roderick Femm
10-22-2008, 12:53 AM
This is a far far better thing I do than I have ever done before. This is a far better rest than I have known.- Sidney Carton (hope I got it right).Close-ish. This is how I remember it:

It is a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done. It is a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known.

Here's a few of mine, all from the Goon Show:

Needle noddle noo, to name but a few.

You silly twisted boy, you.

I can't understand it, we live in a bungalow!

Is he bound?
Of his health I know not, sir.

Don't do that, Eccles, it's not nice.

Is the rocket ready?
Not quite, we still need to add another layer of brown paper and string. You can't be too careful, you know!

Julius Caesar ruled Britain with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot. Finally with a piece of string.

Has it gone dark? They, they couldn't have! They have! The sun! Help! They've put out the sun! Hellllllp!

I can't open the door, Min, I've lost my key out here in the dark and I can't find it.
Well come inside in the light and have a look for it.

Are you inferring that anyone who plays a brass band instrument is immune from Lurgi?
Yes.
Give me an A, will you?

The government is establishing Yack-a-bool centers in Blackpool.

This man is the inventor of the brown telephone.
What? Oddy boddy, what about Edison Bell?
Edison Bell, sir, invented the black telephone.

That was the Goon Show, a BBC recorded program featuring Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe and Spike Milligan, with Ray Ellington and his Quartet, and Max Geldray, orchestra conducted by Wally Stott, script by Eric Sykes and Spike Milligan. Directed by Peter Eaton.


Roddy

Elendil's Heir
10-22-2008, 01:07 AM
...
Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York
(Richard III)
....


Nitpick: "sun of York."

calm kiwi
10-22-2008, 05:59 AM
All animals are equal, but some are more equal then others.
George Orwell

When the going gets tough, the tough go and have a little cry in the corner.
Rimmer. Red Dwarf.

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
Ace. Red Dwarf.

This sounds like a 12 change of underwear trip!
Cat. Red Dwarf.

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Winston Churchill

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Never hold discussions with the monkey while the organ grinder is in the room.
Winston Churchill

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Oscar Wilde

Get real man, most eunuchs have got more balls then you.
Lister. Red Dwarf.

Lust4Life
10-22-2008, 07:34 AM
Nit pick. Rupert Brooke did not die on the western front. He died on Skyros (near Gallipoli) from suspected blood poisoning from an insect bite.

Well I'll be damned!
I stand corrected !

And thats just a little bit of romance removed from my soul.

Cicero
10-22-2008, 07:38 AM
Well I'll be damned!
I stand corrected !

And thats just a little bit of romance removed from my soul.

Apologies. If it helps I think Winston Churchill wrote some sort of eulogy.

Paul in Qatar
10-22-2008, 07:43 AM
Oh and Hamlet's first long speech, "What a piece of work is man ..."

And "Come live with me and be my love...."

Koxinga
10-22-2008, 08:24 AM
Apologies. If it helps I think Winston Churchill wrote some sort of eulogy.

For a man who died at Gallipoli? I suppose that was the least he could have done . . .

Cicero
10-22-2008, 08:28 AM
For a man who died at Gallipoli? I suppose that was the least he could have done . . .

No- he didn't die at Gallipoli. He died before the invasion. (off the top of my head- a few days before).

The Comfy Chair
10-22-2008, 10:34 AM
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it will seem like an hour. Sit with a pretty woman for an hour, it will seem like a minute. THAT'S relativity".
-Albert Einstein

Alive At Both Ends
10-22-2008, 11:36 AM
Well I'll be damned!
I stand corrected !

And thats just a little bit of romance removed from my soul.
You were probably thinking of Wilfred Owen.

Anyway, that's reminded me of another bit of WW1 poetry:

God heard the embattled nations sing and shout:
"Gott strafe England", "God save the King",
"God this", "God that" and "God the other thing";
"My God", said God, "I've got my work cut out."

J. C. Squire

Elendil's Heir
10-22-2008, 12:27 PM
"I have never presumed to think that God is on our side; I want, rather, for us to be on God's side." - Lincoln

Drew Blade
10-22-2008, 03:36 PM
"The ancients knew how to deal with us, and did so so thoroughly that we were thought to only be a legend. Until you came, with your radiation, and burned away the stakes and the chains. Nothing human could have survived what you did to the Earth. Nothing human did.

Now, you will take us to your world, where your people will meet their new Masters."

- Vampire to an alien ship Captain sent to sterilize Earth by the "Masters", and who picked up the few "humans" who inexplicably survived



What's this from?

Labdad
10-22-2008, 03:52 PM
“Hubert Humphrey is a gutless, treacherous, ward-healer who ought to be put in a goddamn bottle and sent out with the Japanese current. Any political party that can’t cough up anything better than that worthless old hack deserves every beating it gets.”

Hunter S. Thompson – Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail: 1972

lizardling
10-22-2008, 04:21 PM
Another quote from Virgil's Aeneid that I cannot pry out of my brain (I will remember this until the day I'm in a nursing home, I swear):

Eadem me ad fata vocasses:
Idem ambas ferro dolor atque eadem hora tulisset.

Thanks to our Latin teacher. She made us recite the passage starting with those two lines in the original over and over, using an n+1 scheme. No wonder I'll never be able to forget them, and it's been over 15 years.

I've forgotten almost all my Latin except for those two lines.

Der Trihs
10-22-2008, 05:45 PM
What's this from?I don't remember the title; it was an old short in a collection of sci-fi vampire stories named Tomorrow Sucks, which admittedly did spoil the twist ending a bit.

outlierrn
10-22-2008, 08:53 PM
Two house's, equal in dignity
in fair Verona where we lay our scene

From ancient grudge, break to fresh mutiny
where civil blood makes civil hands unclean






and my soul from out that shadow
that lies floating on the floor
shall be lifted, nevermore

outlierrn
10-22-2008, 08:56 PM
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it will seem like an hour. Sit with a pretty woman for an hour, it will seem like a minute. THAT'S relativity".
-Albert Einstein



I though it was LL Cool J in Deep Blue Sea:D

BrainGlutton
10-22-2008, 10:33 PM
"Give me your tears, Gypsy, or I will take them from you!"

-- Borat

BrainGlutton
10-22-2008, 10:35 PM
"Journalism is not a profession or a trade. It is a cheap catchall for fuckoffs and misfits, a false doorway to the backside of life, a filthy, piss-ridden little hole nailed off by the building inspector but just deep enough for a wino to curl up and masturbate like a chimp in a zoo-cage."

-- Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Key Lime Guy
10-22-2008, 10:59 PM
Edison: "Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

Der Trihs
10-24-2008, 04:26 AM
"Dowries ! Dowries ! A hundred and eighteen DOWRIES !" - The response of a certain greedy Count in A Civil Campaign, after Miles hands him the documents that grant him custody of his horde of replicator grown biological daughters - with one tiny condition attached.

"Fight like a miser." - The Dance of Time

Fish
10-24-2008, 05:04 AM
"If a woman had to choose between catching a fly ball and saving a baby from a burning building, she would choose to save the child without bothering to consider if there were men on base." --Dave Barry

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read." --attributed to Groucho Marx

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." --Mel Brooks

Elendil's Heir
10-24-2008, 09:16 AM
"A recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours. And a recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his." - Ronald Reagan, 1980 (could easily be adapted for this year's campaign).

Paul in Qatar
10-24-2008, 09:36 AM
"We were just outside of Barstow, on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying to My Lawyer, "I'm feeling a bit light-headed, perhaps you should drive, when suddenly ...."
H.S.T.

Dung Beetle
10-24-2008, 10:59 AM
Like one that on a lonesome road
Doth walk in fear and dread
And having once turned round walks on
And turns no more his head
Because he knows a frightful fiend doth close behind him tread.
----------------------------------------
Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life
Electric word, life, it means forever and that's a mighty long time
But there's something else: the afterworld.
A world of never-ending happiness, we can always see the sun
Day (day) or night (night)
So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills, you know the one
Dr. Everything'll Be All Right
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind
Cause in this life
Things are much harder than in the afterworld
This life
You're on your own!

:o Sorry.

GargoyleWB
10-24-2008, 12:00 PM
It isn't significant to much, but I love it anyway and is stuck in my head eternally:

"Yet still, ever after that sorrowful day,
Whenever the Butcher was by,
The Beaver kept looking the opposite way,
And appeared unaccountably shy."

Lewis Carrol, Hunting of the Snark

KidCharlemagne
10-24-2008, 12:11 PM
"A man's life is like a diary in which he means to write one story but writes another. His humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it was with what he vowed to make it.

J.M Barrie - The Little Minister.

Der Trihs
10-25-2008, 05:25 AM
For some reason, a bunch of old comic book lines popped into my head tonight.


Loki to Surtur, on why he decided to oppose Surtur :"What's the use of ruling all I survey, if all I survey is a burnt out cinder ?"



Odin, Thor and Loki against Surtur :

Odin : "For ASGARD !"

Thor : "For MIDGARD !"

Loki : "For MYSELF !"



Baldur to some Ice Giants, who react poorly to heat : "Have you ever seen the Sun ? Close up ? " * GLARE *



Doctor Doom, Secret Wars : "Why, we dropped a mountain range on them. Simple. Effective. No ?"



Doctor Doom & Klaw, Secret Wars :

Klaw : "Why do you talk like that ? Are you being recorded ?"

Doom : "Of course ! Every utterance of Doom must be recorded for posterity !"



The grey Hulk : "I see you've picked up a few new tricks, Rock, Redeemer. Me, all I have is all I've ever needed. My strength, and my really lousy temper."



Grey Hulk, in restraints : " SHIELD's totally corrupt. They're gonna off us both."

SHIELD guy : "Oh, and what makes you think that ?"

Hulk, smirking : "Because I'm totally corrupt. And that's what I'd do."



From the grey Hulk era, Banner is arrested by a small town sheriff who's a thug in uniform. He carries around an iron bar he grabbed from some punks and bent to intimidate them; uses it as a kind of talisman, a swagger stick. He smacks Banner on the hand he has on the cell bars and turns away, ranting about how badass he is, missing when Banner starts to hulk-out.

Thug Sheriff : "Me, I'm king here ! Me and my iron bar !"

< CRUNCH > * The Hulk rips his way through the cell bars *

Grey Hulk : "Oh, yeah ? Whadda you do when you meet a guy with a bigger bar ?"

Paul in Qatar
10-25-2008, 09:06 AM
The "We few, we happy few, We band of brothers" speech.

The 98th Psalm.

Sternvogel
10-25-2008, 10:01 AM
One day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys stood up to fight
They stood back to back and faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policemen heard the noise,
Came and shot the two dead boys.
If you don't believe me, ask the blind man
He saw it all.

Slightly more paradox-laden version I learned:

It was bright as day in the middle of the night
When two dead boys got up to fight.
They stood back to back and faced each other,
Drew their swords, and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard that noise
And came and shot those two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie that's true,
Just ask the blind man -- he saw it too!

TheDerf
10-25-2008, 02:13 PM
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow
Creep in this petty place from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage.
And then is heard no more. It is a tale,
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury.
Signifying nothing.

-MacBeth

--

Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can't help being stupid. But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.
- Robert Heinlein's "Time Enough for Love"

--

Alcoholism is a disease. But it's, like, the only disease you can get yelled at for havin'. Damnit, Otto! You're an alcoholic! Damnit, Otto, you have LUPUS!

-Mitch Hedberg

"I bought a doughnut from a store and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. Man, I'll just give you money, then you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut... "

-- Mitch Hedberg

and of course my sig from "Self-Reliance"

Scissorjack
10-25-2008, 06:09 PM
Nature that framed us of four elements,
Warring within our breasts for regiment,
Doth teach us all to have aspiring minds.
Our souls, whose faculties can comprehend
The wondrous architecture of the world:
And measure every wand'ring planet's course,
Still climbing after knowledge infinite,
And always moving as the restless spheres,
Will us to wear ourselves and never rest,
Until we reach the ripest fruit of all,
That perfect bliss and sole felicity,
The sweet fruition of an earthly crown.

Christopher Marlowe, Tamburlaine

I count religion but a childish toy,
And hold there is no sin but ignorance.

Christopher Marlowe, The Jew Of Malta

Three beers is not drinking, Jack. Three beers is sulking.

Carl Hiaasen, Basket Case

Moriarty
10-25-2008, 06:33 PM
"love your country always, and your government when it deserves it" Mark Twain

"As long as there is an underclass, I am in it. As long as there is a criminal element, I am of it. As long as there is a soul in prison, I am not free" Eugene V. Debs

gaffa
10-26-2008, 12:11 AM
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." Hunter S. Thompson

Rick
10-26-2008, 01:02 AM
I found a clam beside the sea inside a seedy sack
I said to the clam, dear sir or ma'am
allow me to call you Jack
Will you come home with me for a cup of tea,
or maybe a midnight snack?
For I have some nice Tabasco sauce to pour upon your back.
So I threw the clam in a big brass pot
and boiled a burbling brew.
His green eyes gleamed
as he steamed and he steamed
and he grew, and he grew and he grew.
He was ever so small now he's nine feet tall
Now he's pouring Tabasco sauce on my back
now what do you think he will do?
-Shel Silverstein.
Oh.... also

Three rings for the elven kings under the sky....

===
and also

Not all that is gold glitters ....
This ring and no other
was made by the elves,
who would pawn their own mother to grab it themselves.
Ruler of mortal, creeper and scallop,
this is a sleeper that packs quite a wallop.
If broken or busted, it can't be remade.
if found send to Sorehead, the postage is prepaid.
-Bored of the Rings.

movingfinger
10-26-2008, 02:10 AM
The graves stood tenantless and the sheeted dead did squeak and gibber in the Roman streets.---Hamlet

In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed--they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and The Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock.---Orson Welles as Harry Lime in The Third man

Der Trihs
10-27-2008, 06:30 AM
I recall an incident related by Isaac Asimov. He need throat surgery, for his thyroid IIRC. When he got the pre-op meds, they made him high as a kite, singing and generally acting wacky. He mentioned that when the surgeon showed up before they put him out, Asimov grabbed him and sang

"Doctor, Doctor in white coat.
Doctor, Doctor cut my throat.
And when you're done, why then,
won't you sew me up again ? "

mbh
10-27-2008, 10:56 AM
by Der Trihs
For some reason, a bunch of old comic book lines popped into my head tonight.



from X-Men:
Dr. Doom: "Fool! Do you think it so easy to lay hands upon the person of Doom?"

Wolverine: "Easy or hard, Doom, it makes no difference. I'll keep coming . . . until I get you."




From an old Dr. Strange comic:
"There is no power greater than that which I possess, for mine is the basic power of imagination, the gossamer thread of which dreams are woven."

Der Trihs
10-27-2008, 04:24 PM
She Hulk to Captain America, while looking at Galactus :

"Say the word, Cap, and I'll go up there and beat the heck out of his ankle !"



The hero of Ben Bova's Peacekeepers, after fatally wounding a terrorist leader who has a nuke linked to his heartbeat with a deadman switch. Which will of course kill the hero as well, and the terrorist's entire base :

"Did you think you were the only one willing to die for your beliefs ?"

ivan astikov
10-27-2008, 04:36 PM
"What the hell do you know about surfing? You're from goddamned New Jersey. "

"There's mines over there, there's mines over there, and watch out - those goddamn monkeys bite, I'll tell ya. "

"Everybody wanted me to do it, him most of all. I felt like he was up there, waiting for me to take the pain away. He just wanted to go out like a soldier, standing up, not like some poor, wasted, rag-assed renegade. Even the jungle wanted him dead, and that's who he really took his orders from anyway! "

Hey, nobody said they had to be meaningful!

nivlac
10-27-2008, 04:52 PM
Best quote ever and so very true:

"A man's gotta know his limitations." Dirty Harry Callahan

FallenAngel
10-27-2008, 06:37 PM
But that Miss Number in the corner
Playing hard to get…
I am sorry I’m not sorry…
Make me chaste, Lord, but not yet.

-- Auden -- The Love Feast

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. -- Heinlein

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. -- Also Heinlein

and my all time favorite: "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats." H.L. Mencken

movingfinger
10-28-2008, 01:24 AM
"If God had not wanted them to be shorn, he would not have made them sheep."

(The bandit Calvera, played by Eli Wallach in The Magnificent Seven. He is explaining to Yul Brynner why he and his men plunder defenseless Mexican villages.)

trapezoidal jellyfish
10-28-2008, 01:51 AM
Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower,
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day-
Nothing gold can stay.

-Robert Frost

If you want to be a fish stick, you must have very good posture. otherwise you will be a fish clump.
-mitch hedberg

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too!
-mitch hedberg

Raguleader
10-28-2008, 02:07 AM
Hopefully none of these have been used:

"I pity your wife."

"As do I. But I am the man she married."

The American girl (whose name escapes me) and Commander Horatio Hornblower, in the movie Hornblower: Duty (based on part of the CS Forester novel Hornblower and the Hotspur)

"I met a boy on a bridge one night, contemplating Freedom... I met a boy on a bridge, one night... he said he thinking... about meeting Jesus...

...I said He's a friend of Mine, met him just last night, it'll be all right"

Big and Rich, "Live This Life" (I'm sure I botched the lyrics, but that line always gets me)

"And yay though I may walk in the shadow of the valley of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am the meanest bastard in the valley." -- American Bomber Pilot's Creed, WWII

"Any heros here?"

"NO SIR!"

"Live Forever, Apes."

Lt. Raczak and his Roughnecks, from the first episode of Roughnecks: The StarShip Trooper Chronicles


"I have found that many who thought they were respected were merely feared. And there is one difference between fear and respect."

"Oh, and what's that, Constable?"

"People can overcome their fear."

Constable Fraser and Don Zucco, Due South

EDIT: One more, and I'm done:

"If you are going to shoot a man, shoot. Don't talk." -- Tuco, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

phil417
10-28-2008, 02:22 AM
A paraphrase from Goethe: If you can do a thing, or think you can, begin it. Beginning has genius, power, & magic in it. (No quotes because it's a paraphrase).

From the Bible, Psalm 23: "The Lord is my shephard, so I'll not want. You make me lie down in green pastures; You lead me beside still waters. You restore my soul. You guide me in paths of righteousness for Your name's sake. Even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod & your staff comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. My cup overflows. Surely goodness & love will follow me all the days of my life & I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Paul in Saudi, 1st Corinthians 13th Chapter is mention-worthy.

One last quote: "I cannot live without books." Thomas Jefferson

Love, Phil

Paul in Qatar
10-28-2008, 03:53 PM
Yes, the one that ends,

"but these three remain, Faith Hope and Love. But the greatest of these is Love."

Elendil's Heir
10-28-2008, 04:17 PM
"I've seen enough of the world to know, that I've got to get it all, to get it all to grow." - Electric Light Orchestra, "Do Ya."

"Tell them in Sparta, passerby / that here, obedient to their law, we lie." - Remembrance of the Spartan dead at Thermopylae.

"Labor to keep alive in your breast that spark of eternal fire known as conscience." - George Washington.

"This is the sort of thing that will appeal to those who like this sort of thing." - Abraham Lincoln, when asked to provide a blurb for a book he didn't care for.

"I couldn't lose unless they catch me in bed with a dead girl or a live boy." - Edwin Edwards, governor of Louisiana, on his reelection chances.

jsc1953
10-28-2008, 04:39 PM
Gaudeamus, igitur
Juvenes dum sumus
Post jucundum, juventutem
Post molestam, senectutem
Nos habebit humus.

So much time, so little to do...no, wait...reverse that.
If God had meant for us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates.
- (Willie Wonka)

There will come a day at sea when ye smell land when there be none. And on that day, Ahab will go to his grave. But he will rise again, within the hour. Rise, and beckon...and all -- all, save one -- will follow.
- (I love the movie version...)

Ah, love, let us be true to one another
For the world which lies before us like a land of dreams
So various, so beautiful, so new
Hath really neither joy, nor certitude, nor peace, nor help from pain
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept by confused alarms of struggle and flight
While ignorant armies clash by night.
- Matthew Arnold, "Dover Beach". I'm not really this morbid, but I memorized this once many years ago, and it stuck.

iamthewalrus(:3=
10-28-2008, 05:24 PM
Not all that is gold glitters ....

Nitpick: It begins "All that is gold does not glitter..."

sherrylynn
10-28-2008, 05:35 PM
'Heaven hath no wrath like love to hatred turned, nor hell fury like woman scorned'
Alexander Pope (could be wrong on that first name)

'There are three types of lies. Lies. Damn Lies. And Statistics.
Samuel Clemens

Alive At Both Ends
10-28-2008, 05:59 PM
Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Sea-nymphs hourly ring his knell:
Hark! now I hear them, - Ding-dong, bell.

William Shakespeare, The Tempest.

Der Trihs
10-28-2008, 06:25 PM
"The rule is perfect : in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane." - Mark Twain.


"Vorador was right. We are Gods - Dark Gods - and it is our duty, to thin the herd." - Kain, Blood Omen


"Alas, poor Nupraptor, I knew him well. Well, not really." - Kain, Blood Omen, upon examining Nupraptor's severed head.


"As long as a single one of us stands, we are legion." - Kain again.


"When you lived in caves, we gave you everything you are. And now, we take it back." - Overheard comment from one of the genocidal Hylden to a human slave who's begging for mercy.

Unsquare Dance
10-29-2008, 12:15 AM
"Didactically speaking, seminal evidence seems to explicate the fact that your repudiation of of entropy supports my theory of space-time synthesis. Of this, I am irrefutably confident."

I can probably quote the whole game (Earthbound), but that's always been my favorite.

Baker
10-29-2008, 02:05 AM
Who am I? I'm Susan Ivanova. Commander. Daughter of Andre and Sophie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance and the boot that is going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart. I am death incarnate, and the last living thing that you're ever going to see. God sent me.

from Babylon 5

Perhaps my favorite quote ever out of any television series.

I can also quote a lot of Biblical passages, couple of creeds, stuff like that. I used to be able to do the entire Gettysburg address, can still do most of it. And I can get about halfway through Paul Revere's Ride, by Longfellow. My mother can recite it all.

Oslo Ostragoth
10-29-2008, 02:17 AM
Gaudeamus, igitur
Juvenes dum sumus
Post jucundum, juventutem
Post molestam, senectutem
Nos habebit humus.

[Sweet Dee voice (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)]: Do you think you could translate that for me? [[/SDv]

Baker
10-29-2008, 02:24 AM
[Sweet Dee voice (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)]: Do you think you could translate that for me? [[/SDv]

http://www.users.on.net/~algernon/gaudeamus/translation.html

phil417
10-29-2008, 02:33 AM
We can quote poetry? 'kay..

For those dark days:
"I wish I loved the human race, I wish I loved its silly face. I wish I loved the way it walked; I wish I loved the way it talked. And when I'm introduced to one, I wish I thought, "what pretty fun!"

On a lighter note, (both from Ogden Nash)
"Behold the duck
It does not cluck
A cluck it lacks -- it quacks!
It's very fond
Of puddle or pond
And when it dines or sups,
it bottoms-ups!"

"A mighty being is the germ
Tho' smaller than the pachyderm
Its customary dwelling place
Is deep within the human race.
Its childish pride it often pleases
By giving people strange diseases.
Dear reader, do you feel infirm?
You probably contain a germ."

On another note: "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." Hari Selden

Love, Phil

Baker
10-29-2008, 02:47 AM
phil, further back in the thread you quoted the 23rd Psalm. What translation was that?

phil417
10-29-2008, 03:03 AM
phil, further back in the thread you quoted the 23rd Psalm. What translation was that?

The OP stated "off the top of your head." So perhaps the 23rd Psalm was a mixture of NIVT, NIV, and (sorry about this) my experience as a Sunday School teacher. There's also a translation called (if memory serves) NIRVT, which was geared toward a child with a third-grade reading level.

Might I ask, Baker, is there a problem?

Love, Phil

Cicero
10-29-2008, 03:06 AM
Yes, the one that ends,

"but these three remain, Faith Hope and Love. But the greatest of these is Love."

I seem to have lost what I typed but my Bible has "And now abideth faith, hope, charity; these three; but the greatest of these is charity."

Baker
10-29-2008, 03:30 AM
The OP stated "off the top of your head." So perhaps the 23rd Psalm was a mixture of NIVT, NIV, and (sorry about this) my experience as a Sunday School teacher. There's also a translation called (if memory serves) NIRVT, which was geared toward a child with a third-grade reading level.

Might I ask, Baker, is there a problem?

Love, Phil

Oh, no problem at all! I just thought it was interesting. I have a number of different translations and that one didn't ring a bell. I like the substitution of "love" for "mercy".

One of my favorites of the 23rd Psalm is the Jewish Publication Society translation.
(I'm not doing this one from memory)

The LORD is my sheperd;
I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me to waters in places of repose;
He renews my life;
He guides me in right paths as befits His name.
Though I walk through a valley of deepest darkness
I fear no harm, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff-They comfort me.
You spread a table for me in full view of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
my drink is abundant.
Only goodness and steadfast love shall pursue me
all the days of my life,
And I shall swell in the house of the LORD
for many long years

JollyGoon
10-29-2008, 05:01 AM
'We're in the stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun'
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder goes forth.

'Somebody gonna get hurt real bad. Somebody'
Russel Peters

'you don't happen to work for UPS do you"
'No, why?'
'Cause i swear you were just checking out my package'
Black mage to white mage in 8-bit theatre

Der Trihs
10-29-2008, 05:25 AM
"When one is free to pick the evils one truly desires, that is the delight of a wicked life."

"There are those who fight consistently for the side of right, and they are heroes. And there are those like us, who know how to turn the powers of the world to their advantage without care for the cost to others, and they are called villains. Personally, I would rather be the latter any day." - Both from Mr Bocor, City of Villains




"If we succeed, we create chaos. If we fail, we create chaos. I don't see a downside here."

"Pain heals and our chicks dig scars. Let's go !" - Both Freakshow quotes from the same game ( some of the most quotable guys NPCs in the game )

Der Trihs
10-29-2008, 05:59 AM
JollyGoon reminded me of these . .


"Because we're all friends, but Black Mage is my best friend. And I can block any attack, and kill anything that bleeds. HINT." - Fighter from 8 bit Theatre, on Why Thief And Red Mage Shouldn't Kill Black Mage


"Because that would be wrong."

* Holds up sword *

"CHAINSAW wrong." - Fighter again

nootlin
10-29-2008, 06:04 AM
I have of late, but where for I know not, lost all my mirth...

- Hamlet, but I know it from Withnail and I

Alive At Both Ends
10-29-2008, 07:58 AM
[Sweet Dee voice (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)]: Do you think you could translate that for me? [[/SDv]
After a joyful youth and a tiresome old age,
The ground will have us.
Let us rejoice, therefore, while we are young.

Edit: Sorry, I see that Baker already posted a translation.

jsc1953
10-29-2008, 11:24 AM
http://www.users.on.net/~algernon/gaudeamus/translation.html

Jeez, that thing has more verses than Old MacDonald.

Elendil's Heir
10-29-2008, 11:41 AM
"We shall nobly win, or meanly lose, the last best hope of Earth." - Lincoln

"The President addressed a joint session of Congress and said we won't let the Russkies push us around. He evoked Lincoln. Whenever a president's gonna get us in trouble, they always evoke Lincoln." - NASA administrator, 2010: The Year We Make Contact

"The administration of justice is the surest pillar of government." - Washington

"Sex and politics. I smell ratings!" - TV exec in Max Headroom

"Who could hope to govern a nation with more than 400 types of cheese?" - Charles de Gaulle

"Ernesto, dame este Kit-Kit o te mato" - from O.C. and Stiggs (my Spanish is terrible, but loosely translated, "Ernesto, give me that Kit-Kat or I'll kill you")

"Somebody wake Hicks up." "They mostly come out at night. Mostly." "Express train to Hell, baby!" "He's just a grunt! No offense." "None taken." "I say we take off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." "Nothin' like Arcturan poontang." "I love the Corps!" "Hey, Vazquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?" "No. Have you?" "You always were an asshole, Gorman." - and a million others, from Aliens

"They say a slice off a cut loaf's never missed." - Handcock, Breaker Morant

"He's so... human." "Nobody's perfect, Saavik." - Saavik and Spock, STII: Wrath of Khan

"You're stupid, aren't you? I like that in a man." - Kathleen Turner, Body Heat

Drunky Smurf
10-29-2008, 05:00 PM
Once I saw this wino eating grapes and I told him, "Dude, you have to wait." - Mitch Hedberg

Malacandra
10-29-2008, 05:11 PM
Much have I travelled in the realms of gold
And many goodly states and kingdoms have I seen;
Round many western islands have I been
Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold.
Oft of one wide expanse had I been told
That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne,
Yet never did I breathe its pure serene
Till I heard Chapman speak out loud and bold.
Then felt I like some watcher of the skies
When a new planet swims into his ken
Or like stout Cortez, when with eagle eyes
He stared at the Pacific - and all his men
Looked about them with a wild surmise -
Silent, upon a peak in Darien.

* * *

You can talk o' wine and beer
When you're quartered safe out here
And you're sent to penny-fights and Aldershot it;
But when it's time for slaughter
You will do your work on water,
And you'll lick the bloomin' boots of him that's got it.
Now in India's sunny clime, where I used to spend my time
A-servin' of Her Majesty the Queen,
Of all that black-faced crew, the blinkin' best I knew
Was our regimental bhisti, Gunga Din.
It was "Din, Din, Din!
"You limpin' lump o' brick-dust, Gunga Din!
"Hi, slippy hitherao! Water, get it! Pannee lao
"You squidgy-nosed old idol, Gunga Din!"

... and so on to...

So I'll meet him later on, at the place where he is gone,
Where it's always double drill and no canteen;
He'll be squattin' on the coals, givin' drink to poor damned souls,
And I'll get a swig in Hell from Gunga Din!
Yes, it's Din, Din, Din!
You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!
Though I've belted you and flayed you, by the Livin' God that made you,
You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!

Der Trihs
10-29-2008, 10:32 PM
"You know what they say; the cream rises to the top."

"Yeah, but gold's pretty heavy." - from an old Analog short story, about why a particular scientist wasn't a big name.



"Do you know the difference between science and politics ? In science, the cream rises to the top. In politics, it's the scum." - An Analog story as well, I think

Raguleader
10-30-2008, 12:05 AM
You can sing about your Clementines and dream of Rosaline...
but the Yellow Rose of Texas is the only girl for me!:D

Oslo Ostragoth
10-30-2008, 01:11 AM
http://www.users.on.net/~algernon/gaudeamus/translation.html

Thanks. Is that a classic piece?

Alive At Both Ends
10-30-2008, 08:00 AM
Thanks. Is that a classic piece?
It's a traditional song sung at university graduation ceremonies.

Link (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Brevitate_Vitae)

Arglefraster
10-30-2008, 12:53 PM
Ok, I know won't get this one exactly right. I was sorely tempted to look it up, but we're not supposed to do that.

"God does not play dice with the world. He plays an ineffible game of His own devising, which can be compared to playing poker in a dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules and who smiles all the time. " - Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

greatshakes
10-30-2008, 01:05 PM
"In the house of the hanged man, do not mention rope."
Aaron Burr, in Gore Vidal's Burr.

"And Gentlemen in England, now abed,
Shall think themselves accursed that they were not here."
Shakespeare, Henry V

Paul in Qatar
10-30-2008, 07:48 PM
"And Gentlemen in England, now abed,
Shall think themselves accursed that they were not here."
Shakespeare, Henry V


Yeah, I got that whole speech too. I have no life.

Civil Guy
10-30-2008, 10:24 PM
"Deserves death? I daresay he [Gollum] does. Many who live deserve death. Many who die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too quick to seek death as judgement. Not even the wise can see all ends."
-Gandalf to Frodo, Bag End, FoTR
I know I've mucked this up some. Sorry, it's the only memory I've got. As I recall.

"Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, if deathless you be! For I will smite you, if you touch him!"
-Eowyn to the head Nazgul, fields of Pellenor, RoTK

//=====
"I so dislike argument. It's so vulgar, and so convincing!"
-Oscar Wilde

//=====
"What a saint! Haven't you ever, with full confidence, expounded upon God, the world, the hearts of men, and all that reigns therein? And - be honest now - did you really know any more about such things than you do about this fellow Schwerdtlein's death?"
-Goethe (my own free translation)

Oslo Ostragoth
11-01-2008, 02:38 AM
It's a traditional song sung at university graduation ceremonies.

Link (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Brevitate_Vitae)

Apparently not a tradition at midwestern land grant universities. :(

jsc1953
11-02-2008, 11:04 AM
It's a traditional song sung at university graduation ceremonies.

Link (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Brevitate_Vitae)

It's a Hollywood cliche that if you want to establish a setting as being a university campus, play a few bars of Gaudeamus Igitur on the soundtrack. (Probably ever since Mario Lanza sang it, in the operetta "The Student Prince".)