Things you wouldn't know about yourself if other people hadn't told you

[Rodgers01]

Not the most elegant thread title, but maybe you get my drift. What things about yourself -- qualities, talents, anything -- are you only aware of because other people pointed them out to you? ie, They weren't self-evident, and if no one had ever said anything, you might have gone your whole life not realizing XYZ about yourself.

For me, it's the fact that I'm tall. Sounds silly, because it's ostensibly an objective fact that at 6' 3 1/2", I am considerably taller than average in my society. Yet I don't consciously "feel" tall, and if people weren't constantly pointing out how tall I am, I'd probably, in all honesty, describe my height as just "average."

[GameHat]

A friend of mine once told my ex (when we were still dating):

"You know, even when GameHat doesn't agree with you he'll always listen to your view and respect it. I admire that."

That always struck me as one of the nicest things ever said about me.

[jabiru]

Apparently, I'm funny.

I've had quite a few people at work comment on how funny I am and I can tell from the way they're saying it, that they mean it in a nice way. I don't think I'm funny at all. Maybe it's just that I'm considerably older than they are and I use expressions they're not familiar with.

[Mr. Excellent]

I've had a couple people tell me I have a vaguely British accent. Which is strange, because I'm an American from New Hampshire. No idea how that would happen.

[nikonikosuru]

People tell me that I have a dry sense of humor and remind them of Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I never watched the show so I hope it's a good thing.

Apparently I speak English badly even though it's my native language. :( In one of my linguistics classes we were shooting the breeze and talking about languages. I told everyone about how when I was a cashier, people would think I was from the south or even England(?) from the way I talked to them, even though I've lived in the Midwest my whole life. People in the class started to pipe up saying "English is your first language? You just speak so differently, I assumed that you had a different first language!"
Geez.
Maybe it was from the lack of talking, shyness, and then learning two other languages mixed in. Yeah, I'll stick with that.

[Todderbob]

Apparently, I'm hilarious. I'm not just funny - I'm hysterical.

Not always, but in bouts. I used to think it was people laughing at me, which I'm equally fine with. If I can put a smile on someones face I'm doing something right. But, it's not. I can be intermittently hilarious.

[faithfool]

That I'm obsessive. Unfortunately, my mother had been telling me this since I was small, but I discounted her opinion as solely projection. Then alas, it turned out to be beyond even her wildest imagination (and insult) to be true. And I don't just think it's a product of my OCD, but a deeper character flaw that I have no idea how to honestly control.

Still, my mother is obsessive too. I'm just much worse.

[Illuminatiprimus]

Apparently I'm funny and extremely open minded. Neither had occurred to me until someone pointed them out.

[olivesmarch4th]

Apparently I'm funny and extremely open minded. Neither had occurred to me until someone pointed them out.
True. You are both.

I grew up with the belief that I am extraordinarily lazy.

One day my husband turned to me out of the blue and said, ''You're the hardest working person I know.''

My husband is the hardest worker I've ever known, so from him this is high honors. I don't really believe him, but I will at least grant that I'm not as lazy as I feel.

[Neidhart]

To some, I give off a creepy vibe. :(

[flodnak]

I can sing :eek:

[Illuminatiprimus]

True. You are both.Awwwwww - you're a dear. :)

[3acresandatruck]

I'm insane. Actually, if I understand correctly, it's more accurate to call it a persistent developmental disorder. I'd gotten the feeling I was a bit wierd when I was growing up, but it was other people who figured out that it went beyond just being odd. Anyway, with input from a couple of friends, my sisters, my mom, and a few psychologists, they put a name on it. It was interesting to find out. But I was already in my 40's, so it didn't really matter much.

[qsecofr]

I didn't know I had big ears until I was in my early 40's and my wife pointed it out.
Seriously.

[Hamadryad]

Apparently I'm really, really nice.
Shut up, read the thread title again, and understand how odd it was for me to type that.

I think I'm a self-centered, shrill, judgemental pile of ca-ca - but from what I hear, I'm really, really nice and it's easy to share personal problems with me.

I'm as baffled as any of you.

[SomeUserName]

That the man listed on my original birth certificate is not my father.

[Ethilrist]

I've been told that I would make an ugly woman.

And, that I'm fairly attractive as a guy otherwise.

[MsRobyn]

I'm funny and a good conversationalist.

Who knew?

Robin

[Quartz]

I'm a storehouse of odd knowledge.

[KneadToKnow]

I have a distinctive, memorable voice. (I didn't say good or pleasant-sounding. :) )

But I once called someone on the phone who had not heard my voice in 5 years, said fewer than 10 words to her, and she identified me by name.

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

Not the most elegant thread title, but maybe you get my drift. What things about yourself -- qualities, talents, anything -- are you only aware of because other people pointed them out to you? ie, They weren't self-evident, and if no one had ever said anything, you might have gone your whole life not realizing XYZ about yourself.

For me, it's the fact that I'm tall. Sounds silly, because it's ostensibly an objective fact that at 6' 3 1/2", I am considerably taller than average in my society. Yet I don't consciously "feel" tall, and if people weren't constantly pointing out how tall I am, I'd probably, in all honesty, describe my height as just "average."

I've been told by many people that I have a very distinctive walk. The best explanation I've gotten is that I "float" instead of walking, as if my head is completely stationary. But I've never noticed other people bobbing excessively when they walk, so I don't quite understand how it's unusual. Other people say I swagger everywhere I go, but I still haven't figured out quite what that means.

Someone once told me that I naturally hold my head very high almost, but not quite, to the point of being haughty or stuck up. This makes me glad because when I see people walking around staring at the ground I want to grab their chin and yank it up.

Another friend told me that my natural sitting position resembles a gorilla. I thought that sounded insulting but apparently she meant I reminded her of the strong confident yet comfortable pose a gorilla tends to sit in. So I guess that's a compliment.

I've also been told I exude silence, which just sounds cool whatever the hell it means.

[delphica]

It turns out that I am short. I always thought I was average. Children are short, you know? A lot of people described me as short, but I figured they weren't paying close attention. Then one day I was talking to my mother, and she said I was short. My mother! The betrayal! But that was when I learned I was short.

[Annie-Xmas]

Someone once told me that someone had told her "You could take a lesson from Annie. She knows how to take care of herself."

I never thought in terms of "taking care of myself." I just thought I did what had to be done.

A total stranger once stopped me on the street to say "I just want to say thank you. I've been overweight all my life and I see you walking every day. I thought to myself 'She's so skinny and I see her walking every day. If she can do it, so can I.' I started walking every day and in three months I've lost forty pounds."

I never thought walking every day was so unique and memorable.

[Zsofia]

A total stranger once stopped me on the street to say "I just want to say thank you. I've been overweight all my life and I see you walking every day. I thought to myself 'She's so skinny and I see her walking every day. If she can do it, so can I.' I started walking every day and in three months I've lost forty pounds."

Wow, that has got to be the nicest thing somebody could say to somebody else.

ETA - I forgot mine. After an episode of depression in college, I started seeing a counselor, and at my first visit she says somebody about me seeming anxious and high strung. I was all, the hell I am! I am cool and calm and collected and what is this high strung shit?! So I called up all my friends and asked, "Do you think I'm high strung?" and there were all these very uncomfortable silences. (Which I guess was its own answer - does a cool and calm person call you up and snap, "AM I HIGH STRUNG?! TELL ME!")

[Fiona_Greenlee]

I always saw myself as a babbling fool, yet many people have called me a good listener.

[Snickers]

I think it's funny the OP doesn't think he's tall. My husband's 6'6" (that's 2m fer you furriners) and he definitely knows he's tall. And he hates being reminded of it - the best way to ruin his day is for strangers to come up to him and start a conversation about his height. (He's OK with getting it occasionally from family members, though.) I think it's because it's so obvious that he's tall - can't they find a better way to start a conversation?

He gets weirded out by other tall people. It's pretty funny.

Me? I got nothin'.

[Sigmagirl]

I don't look good in green.

[Purgatory Creek]

I once ran into someone I went to junior high with, and he told me that people back then thought I was crazy and were afraid of me. This still perplexes me because I remember myself as being a very reserved, laid-back, wise-cracking pothead and not in the least frightening.

Maybe it was the purple bell bottoms.

[Karyn]

I've been called 'diplomatic' by lots of people when I did some very public work but I don't see myself that way. I see myself as biting my tongue a lot so that I don't say most of the rude things that I'm thinking.

[DianaG]

Someone once said to me "You're excellent in a crisis, and incredibly gracious on top of it. There's no one I'd rather have around than you when things get bad."

I'd never have thought of it in those terms. I always just figured "Well, it's gotta get done, it sucks for everyone, and being pissy about it just makes it worse." Or, alternatively, in the face of much blustering, "Um, why don't we fix it FIRST, and THEN worry about whose fault it was."

[CairoCarol]

me seeming anxious and high strung. I was all, the hell I am! I am cool and calm and collected and what is this high strung shit?! So I called up all my friends and asked, "Do you think I'm high strung?" and there were all these very uncomfortable silences. (Which I guess was its own answer - does a cool and calm person call you up and snap, "AM I HIGH STRUNG?! TELL ME!")

Heh-heh, a similar story for me. Like Zsofia, I thought I was cool and all. Then, when I was in my 30s, I jumped on something my boss said. He leaned back, shook his head, and drawled (in his New Orleans accent), "CairoCarol, you take everything so damn seriously."

Astonished silence on my end. Finally I croaked out, "I do?"

He did me a huge favor by telling me that, because afterward I began to monitor my responses to situations to see if he was right. He was, and it has been enormously helpful to have that insight.

I still take things very seriously - that trait is impossible to change - but now I have much more perspective. I can keep myself from showing the intensity of my responses, and I can remember that what seems like an appropriate reaction to me may very well appear to be going overboard to others.

[twickster]

Apparently I'm really, really nice.


This, only I'd use the word "kind," since "nice" is so namby-pamby.

I've pretty much internalized this by now, but when I first started hearing it I was fairly WTF, because I can actually be judgmental as hell. Apparently I get points for not spewing my judgments unsolicited, though.

[Zsofia]

like zsofia, i thought i was cool and all.

Are you telling me I'm high strung? ;)

[Karyn]

Someone once said to me "You're excellent in a crisis, and incredibly gracious on top of it. There's no one I'd rather have around than you when things get bad."

I'd never have thought of it in those terms. I always just figured "Well, it's gotta get done, it sucks for everyone, and being pissy about it just makes it worse." Or, alternatively, in the face of much blustering, "Um, why don't we fix it FIRST, and THEN worry about whose fault it was."

I'm good in a crisis and get straight down to business as long as it's someone else's crisis. When I had to gather my animals and flee one of the wildfires I came completely unglued when I couldn't find one of the cats, and if my partner hadn't been here I probably wouldn't have left and would have tried to wait it out in the pool or something stupid like that. Whoever thinks that I'm calm. cool and collected is just wrong about me.

[Manda JO]

I don't try to win at things, I try to not lose. This came up in the context of playing cards, but I've since realized it extends to almost everything in my life.

[Swallowed My Cellphone]

I've been told I have a "frightening" or "scary" memory. I really wish people would stop using negative terms to describe it, but people mean it in a complimentary way, as one would say: "Cecil? Cecil is smart. Scary-smart!"

It's not a "photographic" memory or anything, but apparently, I have exceptional memory recall. I've always thought everyone else remembers stuff the same way.

[DianaG]

I'm good in a crisis and get straight down to business as long as it's someone else's crisis. When I had to gather my animals and flee one of the wildfires I came completely unglued when I couldn't find one of the cats, and if my partner hadn't been here I probably wouldn't have left and would have tried to wait it out in the pool or something stupid like that. Whoever thinks that I'm calm. cool and collected is just wrong about me.
I can totally see myself doing the same, and I suspect that we're alike in that in a crisis, we tend to focus on making it easier for everyone else. When it's our crisis, and we're the only (or at least primary) ones affected, we're allowed to freak out.

Or, we just really love our cats. ;)

[Karyn]

I can totally see myself doing the same, and I suspect that we're alike in that in a crisis, we tend to focus on making it easier for everyone else. When it's our crisis, and we're the only (or at least primary) ones affected, we're allowed to freak out.

Or, we just really love our cats. ;)

It's probably a bit of both and it took my partner to convince me that the adult cats had a better chance of not getting lost if we left them at home since they spend most of their time outside anyway and wouldn't take well to being crated for days. There was no way I was leaving without the 7 week old kittens though even when the flames were less than half a mile away. I did manage to remember important papers but most of what I tossed in the car was impractical and easy to replace, and while I ran around like a nut my partner calmly laid out hoses, set up sprinklers on the roof, set up a generator and charger pump by the well, and marked things clearly for the firefighters. Thankfully one of us keeps our head no matter what happens.

[Zebra]

More than one person on this board has commented on how attractive I am.

I dont' think I'm ugly. I would say average. However the modifier 'hella' has been tossed about and I just don't get that.

[Barrels]

I am apparently "good at emergencies". I've been told this a few times and I just figure that it's because I'm a big picture person and in general emergencies require a lot more big picture thinking than detail thinking. The first time I was told this I was 15 and my at the time boyfriend had just got a hay elevator crank to the mouth. His boss called me to ask me what he should do. I told him to put the teeth in a cup of milk and get the BF to the ER. Seemed so simple to me but apparently that was beyond the grasp of this guy. This summer I was working at our local fair when a 70mph straight line wind came through. As soon as I heard about it coming our way myself and my boss cleared the tents and started moving people to brick buildings. The tents we cleared ended up coming down and could have killed people easily. The fair park director later told us that he wouldn't have ever thought about tents this size (80x120!) coming down and thanked us for what we did. So either I can keep a clearer head than most or I am surrounded by bumbling idiots. I kind of think it's the later.

Pictures of wind's aftermath.... http://s343.photobucket.com/albums/o480/carriechestnut/Fair%20Storm/?action=view&current=P1000476.jpg

I also can apparently come up with really good meals out of nothing, at least according to my Aunt.

[overlyverbose]

I was once told by someone at work that he'd hire me for my walk alone. Then again, he was fired for sexual harassment shortly after I left, so I take that compliment with a grain of salt.

I've also been told that I remind people of Karen from Will & Grace. I don't know if it's because I'm bitchy or what, but I considered that a compliment.

My husband has also told me that he's impressed how I can tell what's wrong with our son when he's sick. Given that I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time, I appreciate him saying that, but I have my doubts.

[Swallowed My Cellphone]

've also been told that I remind people of Karen from Will & Grace. You're an alcoholic?




;)

[Rodgers01]

I've been told by many people that I have a very distinctive walk. The best explanation I've gotten is that I "float" instead of walking, as if my head is completely stationary. But I've never noticed other people bobbing excessively when they walk, so I don't quite understand how it's unusual. Other people say I swagger everywhere I go, but I still haven't figured out quite what that means.

Someone once told me that I naturally hold my head very high almost, but not quite, to the point of being haughty or stuck up. This makes me glad because when I see people walking around staring at the ground I want to grab their chin and yank it up.

Another friend told me that my natural sitting position resembles a gorilla. I thought that sounded insulting but apparently she meant I reminded her of the strong confident yet comfortable pose a gorilla tends to sit in. So I guess that's a compliment.

I've also been told I exude silence, which just sounds cool whatever the hell it means.
Now I really want to see a video of you walking and sitting...!


Another one: years ago, I overheard my mom talking to my uncle on the phone when she didn't know I was around. "Well you know Rodgers," she said, "he's such a loner..." I was stunned! Never once had I thought of myself as a loner before that, but after hearing it the evidence seemed to pile up: I had friends, but not many close friends; I never brought people over to the house; I spent a good amount of time outside of school alone... So, I guess I was a loner. I've been a bit worried ever since that it's become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[badbadrubberpiggy]

It turns out that I am short. I always thought I was average. Children are short, you know? A lot of people described me as short, but I figured they weren't paying close attention. Then one day I was talking to my mother, and she said I was short. My mother! The betrayal! But that was when I learned I was short.

Same here. I don't think of myself as short, usually. Maybe it's b/c my husband & most of my family are also short, so I'm used to being "average height" relative to the people I'm with.

Then I went to a sports bar with some friends one night, and I think I came up to the shoulder of most people there. If that.

Also, one of my friends once observed that I only eat half a sandwich, when I get them at restaurants - the other half, I open up & eat the fillings with a fork, and leave the bread. I never noticed I did this until she pointed it out.

[overlyverbose]

You're an alcoholic?




;)

Not yet. However, given my visit with my mom this Christmas, I might well be driven to drink.

Speaking of mothers, mine pointed out to me that I tend to eat any food on my plate in order: vegetables first, then meat, then starch. I didn't even notice, but when she pointed it out, I realized I was eating the stuff I thought I was supposed to eat first to fill up on it, then working my way around from less bad to bad (my mom uses cream in every single potato or pasta dish she's ever made and slathers rolls in butter before they hit the plate, so I try to eat as little of them as possible).

[Asimovian]

That I'm a very good listener and decent at dispensing advice. *shrug*

[E. Thorp]

At work (and at home), I'm "computer-savvy." Obviously there's not enough technical expertise around here.

[Creaky]

I didn't know that I was a bad, weird dresser, but everybody I know thinks I am.

In fact they think that so much that they've all threatened to nominate me for that cable TV show, "What Not to Wear".

Man, I seriously never knew. I just found this out, so I need to process this information before I form my own opinion. I honestly thought I looked okay if not downright cool, but maybe not. :eek:

[Agent Foxtrot]

When I was 19, my parents had just separated and started a nasty divorce. Apparently, I didn't speak to my mother for 6 months. I only found this out when I was 25 or so.

I have no idea why I refused to talk to her. She and I have always been close.

[Astroboy14]

I'm ugly, and apparently my momma dresses me funny...

[Zsofia]

I didn't know that I was a bad, weird dresser, but everybody I know thinks I am.

In fact they think that so much that they've all threatened to nominate me for that cable TV show, "What Not to Wear".

Man, I seriously never knew. I just found this out, so I need to process this information before I form my own opinion. I honestly thought I looked okay if not downright cool, but maybe not. :eek:
Ask the Dope for help, if you like. I think the clothing advice (well, most of it) on here has been fairly solid.

[control-z]

When I end a phone conversation, instead of saying "Bye" I say something like "umm Bye." Never noticed until somebody pointed it out.

[phouka]

I have unique hair.

Someone I knew at high school spotted me at church, at least fifteen years after we graduated. She recognized me by the back of my head. "Hey, that lady has hair just like phouka. Hey, it IS phouka."

It's not like I had the same hair style, plus, my hair is a lot darker than it used to be. There must be some other intangible factor involved. Very strange.

[Properties of Iron]

I have been told by some of my closest friends that I am incredibly vague.

I have also been told that I don't really seem to fit with the surrounding flow of my location, no matter where it is. I had honestly never noticed this.

[Harvey The Heavy]

I've been called 'diplomatic' by lots of people when I did some very public work but I don't see myself that way. I see myself as biting my tongue a lot so that I don't say most of the rude things that I'm thinking.

That's the very definition of diplomacy.

Me, I apparently speak with a Chicago accent, even though I only lived there until I was 13, and I've been in California for 26 years. I have no idea what my "accent" sounds like, but people continue to pick up on it immediately.

[Antinor01]

That the man listed on my original birth certificate is not my father.

My mother remarried when I was 4 and he adopted me. They put his name on my birth certificate, so that's true for me as well. It wasn't until years later that I found out that the man listed on my original birth certificate ALSO wasn't actually my father.

Anyway, it took other people saying something, coming onto me etc for me to realize that I'm actually decent looking. I never thought so growing up and even at 33 I still have trouble believing it at times.

[KneadToKnow]

When I end a phone conversation, instead of saying "Bye" I say something like "umm Bye." Never noticed until somebody pointed it out.

A friend in high school pointed out that he could always tell when I was about to get off the phone because I'd say "well" as in "Well, I guess I need to get going" or "Well, it's time for me to get started on this homework."

[olivesmarch4th]

More than one person on this board has commented on how attractive I am.

I dont' think I'm ugly. I would say average. However the modifier 'hella' has been tossed about and I just don't get that.

zebra, if I could just be honest for a moment. I've met you. You are hot as hell.

That is all.

[Asimovian]

Anyway, it took other people saying something, coming onto me etc for me to realize that I'm actually decent looking. I never thought so growing up and even at 33 I still have trouble believing it at times.Oh, it's twue. It's twue, it's twue!!!

[Khadaji]

I didn't know that I was a bad, weird dresser, but everybody I know thinks I am.

In fact they think that so much that they've all threatened to nominate me for that cable TV show, "What Not to Wear".

Man, I seriously never knew. I just found this out, so I need to process this information before I form my own opinion. I honestly thought I looked okay if not downright cool, but maybe not. :eek:

I can only judge from the pictures you've shared with us, but I have always found you attractive.

[Audrey Levins]

Apparently I'm intimidating.

I know I'm a smartass, but I never knew it ever actually intimidated anyone. Doubly intimidating for guys who'd like to hit on me. (My current SO said it took vast amounts of nerve for him to "make a move" on me, and this is after we'd been friends for over a year. He made his move via text-message, btw, which was equal parts sweet and chicken-shit. It worked though.)

Conversely, I'm also one of those women whom other women want to be friends with. I've been told numerous times that I'm an excellent listener and "problem solver."

I find this baffling. I find other peoples' problems generally quite boring, and I don't go out of my way to make friends; I have enough friends--too many actually, so that I don't get to spend enough time with them--but lots of women I would consider "acquaintances" consider me a great friend of theirs.

I find this out when they buy me gifts/cards/seek me out when they have a problem, etc....

I should mention I'm a bartender, so that I'm generally quite easy to find, and it's part of my job to talk to people. But I find it really odd that people, particularly women, think we're forging some kind of real friendship. When in fact I'm just doing my job. Most people get on my nerves, which is why I cherish the friends I have and don't make very many new ones.

But I have "Your New BFF" apparently stamped on my forehead.

:confused:

[Demonica]

My dad was overheard saying to a friend, "My daughter Demonica is one smart girl. She's got a good head on her shoulders." Coming from my dad, this was a shocker. I always was under the impression that he thought I was irresponsible and a little daft. I almost cried when I heard about it.

People say I have a very attractive face, but I don't see it. They also think I'm really nice, but I don't think that I am - I'm actually kind of a bitch, but I keep my mouth shut.

I've been told that I'm emotionally tough. I went through a pretty heartbreaking divorce about 7 years ago, and then an even sadder breakup with my exboyfriend a few months back. I kept my chin up and tried to be positive, but nobody saw my emotional breakdowns in private. I took it as a great compliment that people thought I was strong.

[Kyla]

I talk too much.

It's kind of insulting, but I'm glad to know. I'm more aware of it than I used to be and I make a conscious effort to shut my mouth more often. Silences make me kind of nervous, and I feel compelled to fill them, instinctively, but now I resist the urge and try to wait for someone else to speak first.

[FallenAngel]

I'm very good at figuring out what needs to be done and then setting out to get it done even in moments of what feel to me like stressful panic. (According to my wife.)

I'm very insightful and put together seemingly unrelated pieces of information to derive conclusions and suggest highly workable plans of action (i.e. I'm a very attentive listener) (According to my best friend)

I radiate stillness, calm and certainty and am a comforting presence to simply be around (according to another very close friend).

Personally I think I just pay as close attention as possible to the people and events around me and try not to over-react to anything, but if these people I love and admire want to make these traits out to be more than I think they are, I'm also vain enough not to disabuse them of their perceptions.:)

[Creaky]

Ask the Dope for help, if you like. I think the clothing advice (well, most of it) on here has been fairly solid.


Thank you, Zsofia; I just might do that! :)

Also, Khadaji, thank you. I honestly think I look pretty good too! I think maybe my clothes may need a tune-up, though. For example, my buddy Maria says I dress like a 12-year-old boy! :eek: Other friends have supplied descriptions like sloppy college student, teenage biker, and generally scruffy and/or dowdy.

I at least try to clean up well and dress appropriately when I have to. The problem may be that I have a lot of old thrift shop and hand-me-downs from great aunts and people several generations older than I. I think I may have somehow crossed the line from Cool Vintage to Weird Old Person Clothes.

We'll see. As I said, I need to look in my closet and really think about this.

[levdrakon]

I stir my coffee too loud. I didn't realize. A roommate went off on me one time. Mildly. But, it turned out I do stir my coffee more than it needs to be. I never noticed, but I'll stand there stirring, clink, clink, clink, until my roommate hit the bursting point. I hadn't noticed I over-stir my coffee.

My other roommate at the time countered with his microwave usage. A normal person just hits the "minute" button, or maybe punches the time in "one three zero." He, somehow, would sit there going "beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep" until he got the time right. We teased him it's not a calculator and he isn't doing his math homework on the microwave.

[sherrylynn]

That I can be intimidating. Hilarious to me - apparently not so much to others.

[Hilarity N. Suze]

That I have a nice speaking voice. This always surprises me. When I happen to hear it--like when I get my home recording on the phone--it sounds nasal and sort of childish to me. But more than one person has mentioned it.

Also a couple of people have remarked on my fashion sense. Favorably, that is. My what? I always consider it a bonus if I get to work and my shoes match.

[rucciface]

After a meeting that I led one day, a co-worker looked at me admiringly and said, "You're very discerning." Admittedly, I had to look up the definition, but I was really flattered. All along, I just thought that I'm the kind of person with low tolerance of BS.

I was recently told third-hand that someone said about me, "I've known rucci for years. She can really hold her own." And here I feel like I'm struggling just to barely keep my head above water...at least someone's impressed.

P.S. Where might one go about looking for a picture of Zebra?

[Hazle Weatherfield]

Once, a long time ago, my best friend told me that I rarely made eye contact. I'm better at it now, but still have to work on it.

Same friend once told me that I'm the most open-minded person he knew. My brother said that I was complex. Two of my favorite compliments from two of my favorite people.

[supergoose]

I run funny, and am thinner than I think. I also tend to be tensed up, especially my shoulders and chin. And I'm odd, but what I notice and say seems obvious and normal to me, though I suppose that's true of everyone.

I too apparently speak English (my native tongue, never been outside the US) with a non-American accent, but to be honest, I still don't hear it in myself. I also would think of myself as being of average height, were it not for people saying I'm tall.

[Kobal2]

That I can be intimidating. Hilarious to me - apparently not so much to others.

Same here. I've been told I'm everything from charismatic to intimidating to downright scary. I have no idea how - I'm almost pathologically shy IRL.

Not something that's ever been told to me, but I came to realize that I radiate something of a Sucker's Aura. All panhandlers, junk sellers, bums, charity workers etc... make a beeline for me, even in the middle of a crowd. Never fails.

[The Devil's Grandmother]

I'm quite scary to talk to. I don't know why and wish I could change it.

[Kobal2]

I'm quite scary to talk to. I don't know why and wish I could change it.

Priceless username/post combo :D

[bundykala]

According to one of my friends from high school, I don't simply walk into a room. I STALK into it as if I own the place, and glare around in an intimidating manner. I was not aware of this. No one else has ever mentioned it..

One of my close friends has been going through a difficult time and making some bad decisions and just generally getting herself into shit lately. At some point she decided to become part of an escort service and told us only after she'd been doing it for a while and was about to quit. I was discussing this with two other friends who knew about it a while later - I'll call them Tom and Daisy. Tom said that if Daisy ever got into that line of work, he would do everything he could to put a stop to it because he didn't think she would know what she'd be getting herself into. Then he said that if I turned to prostitution he'd trust that I knew what I was doing and would let me get on with it and wouldn't worry about me because apparently I can take care of myself. I didn't really know how to respond to that. :eek:

This same friend was telling me yesterday that he has gone through his whole life believing he looked like any other caucasian kiwi guy despite no one believing upon meeting him that he is from New Zealand. His dad was an orphan, so he doesn't actually know his origins. It occurred to him only recently that all those people who refused to believe he is from here might actually have done so because he doesn't look like he is from here.

[Justin Credible]

I don't generally get a whole lot of compliments, but I have been told by a few different people that I have a sexy voice.

Unfortunately, I was also told once at a social gathering that I was so quiet that I could be "one of those serial killers." It's always nice to be compared to a serial killer in front of a dozen or so people.

[BottledBlondJeanie]

Mine is that I am aloof and unapproachable to single men that could possibly date me. I'm a flirt so I assumed that was the impression but apparently if there's a chance I could date you I am scary and mean. Not sure if it's something I want to change.

[levdrakon]

It's always nice to be compared to a serial killer in front of a dozen or so people.It'll get you dates. Don't you watch TV? The serial killer always gets dates. The nice safe guys get dumped.

[Surly Chick]

Apparently, I can be "intimidating." Which is weird because I'm very insecure and not at all self-confident. I guess I project intimidation to protect myself.

[Cat Whisperer]

My husband surprised me when he called me, "the gentlest person he knew." Who ever thinks of themselves as gentle?

Oh yeah, my first inkling that I was a perfectionist came from Jim, too.

My sister once said my legs would look fat if they weren't so long. That sums up siblings in one sentence to me. :)

[Zebra]

zebra, if I could just be honest for a moment. I've met you. You are hot as hell.

That is all.


I'm very flattered.

However I do notice that it is always a sex goddess, who is spoken for, or gay men who think I'm hot.

[DeadlyAccurate]

Same here. I've been told I'm everything from charismatic to intimidating to downright scary. I have no idea how - I'm almost pathologically shy IRL.

I get the intimidating thing, too. I think the pathological shyness may be the key. It's certainly not my physical presence. I'm 5'3", average weight, average looks. I hate confrontation, though if you're an asshole I can respond in kind if I'm in the right mood.

It has to be the way I walk around with that projected silence someone above mentioned. I simply don't know what to say to people, so I don't say anything. I can be in a room with people who have no clue I'm actually there. (I should've been an assassin. :))

On the other hand, I've always been well aware that I'm short. My sister, who's five years younger, has been taller than me since she was eight (she's 5'10" now).

[WhyNot]

Apparently I'm really, really nice.
Shut up, read the thread title again, and understand how odd it was for me to type that.

I think I'm a self-centered, shrill, judgemental pile of ca-ca - but from what I hear, I'm really, really nice and it's easy to share personal problems with me.

I'm as baffled as any of you.
Me too! I always think of myself as lazy and petty and judgemental and kinda mean, but apparently most of that's confined to my "inside voice" (the one inside my head.)
I've also been told I exude silence, which just sounds cool whatever the hell it means.
That does sound really cool. I've got a friend who I imagine moves much like you do; he sits like a gorilla, too. It's actually a very erect, although relaxed erect, position. It exudes power and control.
Are you telling me I'm high strung? ;)
**Twangs Zsofia's high C.** :D
Apparently, I can be "intimidating." Which is weird because I'm very insecure and not at all self-confident. I guess I project intimidation to protect myself.
Add me to this list, as well. And yeah, I think it has to do with pathological shyness. I've got the double whammy of being a painfully shy extrovert. I know that sounds contradictory, but it's not. It just takes me a super long time - years, usually - to feel comfortable around people, and when that finally happens, I'm the center of the party. But until then, I'm a lonely wallflower, a little aloof and pretty quiet. So people see me not talking to them, but being very social with others who I've known longer, and they...I'm not sure what they think. That I'm cliquish? That I'm a bitch? That I hate them? I've heard the word "intimidating" before; really it's because I'm intimidated by THEM!

But the guy who does my nails recently confided that he was intimidated and "scared" by me when I first started coming to his salon. That was weird! He's got a clientele full of the most beautiful big loud brash black women in Chicago, and this little ol' suburban white chick scared him? Whaaa???

Last week, I was told by a couple of black women (not at the salon) that I "got a little Sistah" in me. It made me smile, and then made me miss Askia a whole lot. He once told me the same thing. I don't know what it is, but (and this sounds so fucking Stephen Colbert) black women like me. I like them. (Black men like my badonkadonk, but that's another story.) I'm proud to have a little Sistah in me, but I never would have known it if they hadn't told me!

[Avarie537]

Just the other day, my therapist confirmed a diagnosis of ADD. I'm 28 1/2. And I'm thrilled to have an answer for what's been "wrong" with me my whole life. YAY for good therapists!

[Asimovian]

(Black men like my badonkadonk, but that's another story.)For the sake of science and eradicating ignorance, I'm willing to examine this in further detail if you'd like. :D

[WhyNot]

For the sake of science and eradicating ignorance, I'm willing to examine this in further detail if you'd like. :D
Ah, the sacrifices a true scientist will make...you're too kind! :D

[Zsofia]

Last night, my boyfriend, apropos of nothing, pauses Mad Men while I'm eating some chips and salsa to say "It freaks me out to watch girls eat. Girls eat weird. And you eat really weird."

"What? What's wrong with the way I eat?"

"You use your tongue like an extra utensil. See how you reach out and grab your chips with it? And just a minute ago there was a chip fragment at the corner of your lip and you zapped it with your tongue like an amphibian thing."

".... Thanks. Thanks a lot. Do you want the rest of these chips?"

[TroubleAgain]

I had it pointed out to me that I was incredibly intense, very negative, and extremely nosy. I'm still fairly intense, but better at hiding it. I worked on the negativity and I think it's gone, except in extreme circumstances--I think it was related to my anxiety disorder. And the nosiness is an inherent and habitual curiosity and thirst for knowledge/data/whatever, but I have a much better grip on it than I had in the past, and only allow it reign in appropriate circumstances. So. Overall, though it hurt to hear, it was greatly to my benefit to hear it.

[cher3]

I've been complimented on the fact that I never gossip and try to assume the best motives concerning other people's actions. This would probably get me shredded and eaten with ketchup in some environments, but I've mainly had decent co-workers.

[control-z]

Last night, my boyfriend, apropos of nothing, pauses Mad Men while I'm eating some chips and salsa to say "It freaks me out to watch girls eat. Girls eat weird. And you eat really weird."

"What? What's wrong with the way I eat?"

"You use your tongue like an extra utensil. See how you reach out and grab your chips with it? And just a minute ago there was a chip fragment at the corner of your lip and you zapped it with your tongue like an amphibian thing."

".... Thanks. Thanks a lot. Do you want the rest of these chips?"


If it makes you feel better, I've never thought that or heard anyone say that about any woman. I have however had a few girlfriends that didn't like eating in front of me when we first started dating, I always thought that was weird.

[Illuminatiprimus]

I'm very flattered.

However I do notice that it is always a sex goddess, who is spoken for, or gay men who think I'm hot.If anything the fact that I'm gay means my opinion on this issue is MORE valid, not less (we're a very shallow people ;))

[Zebra]

Should I change my location to "Illuminatiprimus' sex dreams"

[Illuminatiprimus]

Should I change my location to "Illuminatiprimus' sex dreams"Only if you don't mind sharing with Antinor1.

[Theodore Striker]

Apparently, I'm a loud person. when I speak, i speak loudly, when I walk, I trudge loudly, etc...

Being a bookwormy and generally shy person my whole life, I had never thought of myself as loud until my wife pointed it out many moons ago... then some co-workers at an old job pointed it out, then more co-workers at a new job, then my present co-workers bought me a megaphone as a gag gift for x-mas. I try to keep it down, but I guess I just have good natural resonance. Or I'm a clumsy oaf.

[Zsofia]

If it makes you feel better, I've never thought that or heard anyone say that about any woman. I have however had a few girlfriends that didn't like eating in front of me when we first started dating, I always thought that was weird.
Perhaps they were afraid they'd forget themselves and zap a fly. :)

[olivesmarch4th]

Last night, my boyfriend, apropos of nothing, pauses Mad Men while I'm eating some chips and salsa to say "It freaks me out to watch girls eat. Girls eat weird. And you eat really weird."

"What? What's wrong with the way I eat?"

"You use your tongue like an extra utensil. See how you reach out and grab your chips with it? And just a minute ago there was a chip fragment at the corner of your lip and you zapped it with your tongue like an amphibian thing."

".... Thanks. Thanks a lot. Do you want the rest of these chips?"

This is so funny, because my best friend has always accused me of doing the exact same thing. Only she calls it ''giraffing.'' ''Why do you giraffe your food?'' She started accusing me of this years ago when we were in high school. Recently she was showing me her new cell phone. Her user icon for me is a picture of a giraffe.

[Carlyjay]

Apparently, I'm super-pale.

I mean, I'm not blind, obviously I know I'm fair-skinned, and when I purchase cosmetics, I know to purchase the lightest ones. But whenever I get work, the makeup people seem.... horrified by how pale I am. So much so that one had to dig into the bottom of her kit to find a super-light base that apparently she never, ever uses.

This also comes up when I donate blood or have blood taken. The blood donor nurses and my own doctor (who should know better) just assume I'm anemic, which I'm not. Actually, my mother-in-law assumed that, too, and when I said, "No I'm not!" she said, "But you're so PALE!"

[olivesmarch4th]

Apparently, I'm super-pale.

I mean, I'm not blind, obviously I know I'm fair-skinned, and when I purchase cosmetics, I know to purchase the lightest ones. But whenever I get work, the makeup people seem.... horrified by how pale I am. So much so that one had to dig into the bottom of her kit to find a super-light base that apparently she never, ever uses.

This also comes up when I donate blood or have blood taken. The blood donor nurses and my own doctor (who should know better) just assume I'm anemic, which I'm not. Actually, my mother-in-law assumed that, too, and when I said, "No I'm not!" she said, "But you're so PALE!"

This happens to me, too, though I've been made aware of my paleness since junior high. I had all sorts of nicknames referencing my paleness. There was a guy in my high school band who would scream, ''Do not look directly at the white!'' whenever I wore shorts. When I was in a play one of the makeup artist mothers remarked, ''I'm trying to get the coloration right but your skin is so ghastly white!'' She actually used the word ''ghastly.''

I used to be insecure about it, and try the tan-in-a-bottle stuff (I am pretty much allergic to the sun so real tanning is out.) Now I really don't care, and kind of prefer myself that way. My husband calls me his little vampire.

[StuffLikeThatThere]

My husband pointed out to me, very gently, that I take everything way too hard. Which I, of course, took way too hard. :) But I'm working on that, and getting a lot better.

I am often told that people feel comfortable and relaxed around me, and that my home is a welcoming and warm place to be. Apparently people love coming here. I'm a little bemused by this, but I like it.

[elfkin477]

At work (and at home), I'm "computer-savvy." Obviously there's not enough technical expertise around here. Oh, me too. People at work ask me questions all the time because I'm "good with computers." For the life of me I can't figure out what's so mystical about being able to remember how to resize a screen or mute sounds, but no one else seems to be able to figure it out.

Like Carlyjay, I wouldn't know how astonishingly fair I am without other people. I know I'm fair skinned, as a redhead it's practically a given. But it's only once in a while that I notice that I'm really pale, like when it's cold out and I reach for a doorknob, exposing a very white wrist. But normally, I don't seem that white to myself. It makes me wonder if others always see me as ghostly white. At least my co-workers and friends are brighter than the girls in high school who wanted to know why I didn't "like, go to a tanning salon?" They just couldn't grasp the fact that it wouldn't work on someone who doesn't get tans from the sun.

At work I am apparently both strict and intimidating to some people. I'm rarely loud (in fact I've conversely been told frequently that I need to speak up) and I'm not even average height, but I make precious snowflakes tremble. Is it intimidating to expect the people you're supervising to focus on the business at hand? Okay, earlier this month I did yell at people saying "Be quiet! There are still people working around you!" when people got very noisy at the end of a project, but that's a rare exception.

[Atomicflea]

I had a good friend at work tell me I was confrontational, which threw me for a loop because I will take a lot of crap from a lot of folks over a lot of things before I break and have to say something. I've been friends with inconsiderate asses for years before I got up the gumption to break things off. The only time I don't think twice is when I feel someone is being unjust and/or racist, but that's part of my job.

I asked him to think about it, and he concluded that when I felt challenged I didn't back down, and he thought that was confrontational and aggressive. Then again, he's Latino like I am and we have pretty traditional gender stereotypes, so maybe he's just flummoxed that I don't burst into tears or whatever.

[Cat Whisperer]

This is so funny, because my best friend has always accused me of doing the exact same thing. Only she calls it ''giraffing.'' ''Why do you giraffe your food?'' She started accusing me of this years ago when we were in high school. Recently she was showing me her new cell phone. Her user icon for me is a picture of a giraffe.
I eat my popcorn like that, too. Maybe zsofia's boyfriend is onto something!

[Kerrigan]

I have recently heard from many sources that I am a great teacher when it comes to providing unit orientation and critical care training to our new nurses. I figure I'm good with one-on-one teaching, where I can individualize to the person, but I don't think I could ever handle teaching a group or a classroom.

I hold my breath when I'm concentrating on a task. I learned this from a classmate when I was in middle school who sat in front of me and got annoyed with the small noise that occurs when I re-open my airway and start to exhale.

[Kyla]

At least my co-workers and friends are brighter than the girls in high school who wanted to know why I didn't "like, go to a tanning salon?" They just couldn't grasp the fact that it wouldn't work on someone who doesn't get tans from the sun.

This is annoying, isn't it? I am so tired of explaining to people that I only have two colors: white and red. Tan doesn't come into it. Unfortunately, I did have to tell my super-shallow coworkers at an old job. And the Bulgarians were SUPER nosy and obnoxious about this because a. they're mostly pretty dark and are unaware of the concept of Irish skin and b. the idea that sun exposure can cause skin cancer has not yet reached the Balkans. When I told one woman I didn't tan because it causes cancer, she pulled her shirt up to reveal her breasts (we were sitting in a front yard, too!) so I could see the contrasts in colors and then she pooh poohed my crazy notions because SHE didn't have cancer! And look how tan she is!

Yech.

[Licentious Ectomorph]

Apparently I'm abrupt.

I'm a nurse, and at change of shift one evening the day nurse was giving me report on a patient who was particularly difficult and unpleasant. She told me, "It's a good thing he's assigned to you, because you're abrupt and you don't take any crap."

I was floored. I know I have a temper but had no idea I come across as "abrupt" so consistently that that's how people think of me. I polled my co-workers and most of them confirmed her assessment.

[gallows fodder]

I've been told I'm opinionated, which was a surprise, as I thought I was reserved and diplomatic. Then again, the guy who told me that really is an asshole. :)

I've been told I say, "...but no!" a lot, which is odd -- I really don't know how or why that's noteworthy or unique to me. Doesn't everyone say things like, "I thought [the situation was like this], but no!"? Apparently, I do it all the time and my friends think of it as my catchphrase. *shrug*

I've been told that when strangers approach me and strike up a conversation, I often get a look on my face that says, "Stooooop taaaaaalking to meeeee." This is exactly what I'm thinking; I just had no idea I was so transparent.

I've also been told I have beautiful eyes. That's always nice to hear.

[Yumblie]

I've been told, out of the blue, by multiple sources, that I have really pretty eyes. It's a nice compliment, but I don't see it. They look like just plain ol' eyes to me.

Along those lines, I apparently have a very recognizable face. During college I had quite a few people from my high school whom I never recalled meeting or even having any classes with recognize me. I always thought I was pretty plain-looking. Maybe I'm just bad at recognizing faces.

[sunstone]

I've been told that I intimidate people, which I don't understand. I see myself as mild mannered and somewhat quiet. In social situations I normally only speak if I have something pertinent to add that I'm pretty sure is correct. Usually I listen a lot before speaking.

Don't really understand this....

[Influential Panda]

I have a "natural ability to lead." Also, several people agreed (after many, many drinks) that when I walk into a bar or social setting that everyone notices me, that I naturally stand out.

Which is weird to me, 'cause nobody comes to me for shit.

[jackdavinci]

apparently i have a genetic talent for memo writing

[Toxylon]

That I'm scary.

[TokyoBayer]

I can be intense. I used to think it was "focused" but it needs to be taken down a level or two.

The other thing which surprised me was that people always say I can write well. I didn't really think so, but people keep telling me I do.

[alice_in_wonderland]

I'm really, really funny. Fall on the floor, pee your pants funny.

Ditto on the intimidating.

Also, and this one blows me away, I guess I'm very kind. Who knew?

[Lucky 13]

I tend to slur my words, even when I'm not drunk. My brother pointed this out to me. Apparently I'm in such a hurry to say what I have to say that enunciation is a low priority for me.

Also, I look cute in hats. I don't consider myself a "hat person," but this past summer I took to wearing a wide-brimmed hat when walking out to lunch to protect myself from the sun. I wear sunblock, but the hat, to me, was added protection - I still don't want to go as far as certain women I've seen walking in elbow-length gloves and tinted plastic face protectors, like lightweight welder's masks. A few people have told me I look nice in my straw hat. Same for the fuzzy black cap I wore recently when the temperature hit 40F, usually around the time I got off work. As much as hats get in my way, I decided I'd rather be warm or protected from the sun. The fact I apparently look decent while doing so is an unexpected bonus.

[krisolov]

I've been told I have an "official" sort of demeanor to people. Apparently I am the one who the police will talk to, the one who ends up as a referee in disputes, the one who can reason his way through a bureacracy, etc... .

I honestly don't see myself as any more thrilled to deal with things than anyone else, but I am viewed as the guy who does in fact get things handled.

[Sir T-Cups]

I get that I am loud A LOT....

After discussing my views on relationships I was told that I was, from the girls perspective, "good for nothing more than a cheap date or a cheap night" and that I "shouldn't expect anything more than that"

It wasn't really the best of conversations, but I guess it told me something...

[Cat Whisperer]

I thought of another one - apparently I look like a retail sales clerk to other people. If I'm shopping in summer without a parka on, I frequently get asked about products in stores (like you would ask a sales clerk). I'm not sure what that's about - maybe I shop with a surly expression, like I really don't want to be there. :confused: :D

This hasn't happened in awhile, though - maybe I'm too old to be a shopgirl now.

[Vox Imperatoris]

I've been trying to think of something while reading this thread, but I've got nothing.

Valete,
Vox Imperatoris

[sunstone]

The following dopers will be giving Maori Haka lessons to those of you who are not blessed with the natural ability to intimidate others:

Alice in Wonderland
Audrey Levins
Sherrylynn
kobal2
bundykala
surlychick
DeadlyAccurate
WhyNot
Elfkin477
and myself...Sunstone

For a preview, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cle20lQg0Qs&feature=related

[pbbth]

More than one person on this board has commented on how attractive I am.

I dont' think I'm ugly. I would say average. However the modifier 'hella' has been tossed about and I just don't get that.

You are very sexy Zebra, trust me on this. You are so sexy that I'm surprised random ladies don't climb in your lap and grind against you when you are on the subway.



As for me a number of people have told me that I sound very young. Like, 8-10 years old young. I don't think I sound that young at all but apparently I sound like a kid, especially on the phone.

[Lust4Life]

If somebody tells you that you have a big nose or have an irritating laugh or smell funny then theres a very good chance that they're telling you the truth.

If somebody tells you how wonderful/goodlooking etc. you are then they also could very well be telling you the truth.

But they could be of course just being nice to you,want something from you,want sex or personality wise are creeps.

If of course you actually were told how wonderful you were in the first place.

I bet this post is going to make me lots of friends.

[sjc]

I definitely had to be told I was good-looking. Before that, I just kind of didn't know. And that I have nice eyes. It totally surprised me, but then I looked at myself in the mirror and saw what they were talking about (even if I wasn't like totally enamored of them, I saw the features that I think are why they said that).

I feel like earlier in life most of the things people said about me that surprised me were negative (or, you know, things I should change) and I started to internalize a lot of it (while sometimes ostensibly rejecting what they said). As I got older, through my teens and early twenties that was my reality, I worked on those internalized assumptions, trying not to be those things. Now, in my late twenties the things I hear people say about me that surprise me are mostly positive things; sometimes the opposite of the negative things I heard when I was younger. I guess I changed a lot of those things over the course of the years.

I really don't want to make out like people were mean to me when I was younger or that I was particularly unhappy, nor do I want to give the impression that I'm so great now. Really things are more complicated than that, but in general outline what I've written above is fairly accurate. I wouldn't have thought of this trend in my life if it weren't for this thread.

[Dublin11]

I'd say anyone who knows they snore had to be told that by someone, at some stage.

And I'd also say that anyone who tells you that you're intimidating really means "Bugger. I can't intimidate you. I usually manage it with people. You're different to all of the rest of them."
Which is reasonable, seeing as it's only someone else's opinion. Everyone's opinion is based on their own perspective. But if you really were all that intimidating, how come they could work up the courage to tell you so?

[gravitycrash]

I've been told by third parties that some women think that I'm stuck up. The truth is that I'm just shy around women and I'm not into flirting or even small talk, especially on a job site.