"Known To Police" and other ways you DON'T want to be described

[RickJay]

Ever read a story about some crime and it mentions the suspect is "Known to Police"? Maybe it's a Canadian thing, but I read that all the time. "Toronto authorities are seeking Kevin Wayne Dwayne, noting he is known to police." I assume "known to police" means "has a record as long as your arm." In one article I read, a 13-year-old boy in Vancouver described as being "known to police" was involved with police seventy-five times in 2008 alone. I don't think I've spoken to 75 police officers in my entire life in any capacity.

I think it's safe to say that a key measurement of having a successful life is that you are never, ever described as being "Known to Police." Indeed, I would say there are several phrases which, if ever applied to you, indicate that you need to reexamine your life decisions. Or if they never have been applied to you, you never want them to be:

"Known to Police"
"A Person of Interest"
"Of No Fixed Address"

Any others?

[matt_mcl]

There was once a thread about phrases you don't want to have in your obituary. Mine were lifelong bachelor, longtime companion, and complications from pneumonia.

(The thing to reexamine would be how in the world I ended up with such an asshole writing my obituary.)

[Amp]

He was a quiet person. Always kept to himself.

[ivan astikov]

Sex offender can't be very good on your CV.

[Sunspace]

There's a news story making the rounds about the arsonist in Australia. He's described as a lovelorn recluse (http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/588469). And as...a lonely Web surfer who likes dogs, always said "G'day" to neighbours, and has been trying to find love online...And of course the slams against quiet people come out:"He was quiet. You wouldn't know if he was odd or not," said a neighbour who went didn't want to be named. "He would say G'day when you passed him."

Others say he kept to himself and lived alone. One said she thought he was strange because she once saw him watering his lawn in the rain.

"I told my kids to keep away from him," said the young mother, who also did not want her name used...

[lost4life]

The late...

[Zsofia]

Common-law wife is a phrase you never hear about, say, the longtime companion (in a heterosexual way) of the local symphony director.

[GaryM]

Unindited co-conspirator.

[Sigmagirl]

King of Pop.

[Paul in Qatar]

In an obituary, He never married.

[G0sp3l]

The victim,
Subject,
The defendant,
(Former) Boy-Band Member

[pravnik]

"Identifiable by his dental records..."

[Der Trihs]

"long time fugitive"

"notorious"

"disbarred"

"convicted criminal"

"widely blamed"

"disgraced"

"recluse"

"cat lady"

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

^ I dunno about that last one. I don't necessarily think being a crazy cat lady is a bad thing (which is good, as I'm well on my way to becoming one).

[Furious_Marmot]

"Unidentified male"

"Failed"

"Infamous"

"At large"

"Local celebrity"

"Noted eccentric"

"B-movie actor"

"B-movie" cameraman, director, or anything else, really.

[Bayard]

Survivalist. I'm sure there are many fine people with excellent wilderness survival skills. But when someone is described in the paper as a "survivalist", that's not someone you want to engage in a lively political debate.

[Dog80]

In an obituary, He never married.

What's so bad about not getting married? :confused:

[Celyn]

It is or WAS used as a sneaky way of suggesting "gay" without saying so. Probably not so much in use these days.


Edit to add for clarity - I mean when such might be widely considered a slur in some way.

[pravnik]

"Beloved local figure." If you're "beloved" and "local" but the most descriptive noun they can think of is "figure," you're the crazy guy with the dreadlocked beard living under the downtown bridge who wears a cheerleader outfit and does pom-pom routines for passing cars. Even worse if you're an "institution."

[chacoguy]

...described as always somewhat of a loner.

[Der Trihs]

What's so bad about not getting married? :confused:

It is or WAS used as a sneaky way of suggesting "gay" without saying so. Probably not so much in use these days.I always thought it was a backhanded way of calling someone a failure. The accusation being that they couldn't get married because no one would have them, as opposed to them simply being disinterested. The latter being near-unthinkable to some people.

[Zsofia]

"Beloved local figure." If you're "beloved" and "local" but the most descriptive noun they can think of is "figure," you're the crazy guy with the dreadlocked beard living under the downtown bridge who wears a cheerleader outfit and does pom-pom routines for passing cars. Even worse if you're an "institution."
Ah, yes. "Local institution" - runs for mayor every election, receives three ironic college student votes.

[Northern Piper]

Even worse if you're an "institution."

that's still better than "institutionalised."

[Mangetout]

'helping police with their enquiries'

[guizot]

I always thought it was a backhanded way of calling someone a failure. The accusation being that they couldn't get married because no one would have them, as opposed to them simply being disinterested. The latter being near-unthinkable to some people.The alternative is when mention of his sixth wife comes up.

When my obituary comes out, I'm glad I won't be able to read it.

[Celyn]

I always thought it was a backhanded way of calling someone a failure. The accusation being that they couldn't get married because no one would have them, as opposed to them simply being disinterested. The latter being near-unthinkable to some people.


You could be right in terms of U.S. usage. It's a bit of a long-standing joke in Britain, though, that the "Telegraph" newspaper in particular, used to like that one a lot, with the meaning I suggest.

[Celyn]

Ah, I've got one. "Well-known East End businessman". :D

[hawthorne]

In a similar vein "colourful racing identity".

[jabiru]

In a similar vein "colourful racing identity".

Grrr. Someone always manages to pip me at the post.

[Der Trihs]

"career criminal"

Always made me think of someone saying "Yeah, I majored in Criminal Activities, with postgraduate work in Advanced Thuggery."

[PastAllReason]

.....and at the press conference the Premier was reported to be tired and emotional.

"Tired and emotional" is press-speak (in Canada anyway) for falling-down drunk. I've wondred how they would actually described someone who genuinely was tired and emotional, and alcohol-free as well.

[Stephe96]

Friends and family say he was in the process of turning his life around..

[Chefguy]

The victim has been identified as...

[Ferret Herder]

"...checked herself into the hospital for symptoms of exhaustion." AKA "crazy" or on drugs. If I've done something big enough to get an article in the paper about that, that's a bad thing. :eek:

[kunilou]

Political gadfly. That means you're the person who speaks for 20 minutes at a school board meeting complaining about the budget and that when you were astudent there the teachers sent you outside to find rocks to use as chalk on the blackboard and by god you not only learned to read and write, but learned resourcefullness as well.

Political gadflies also run for some local office in every election, and always finish 6th in a field of 7.

[MsRobyn]

"Beloved local figure." If you're "beloved" and "local" but the most descriptive noun they can think of is "figure," you're the crazy guy with the dreadlocked beard living under the downtown bridge who wears a cheerleader outfit and does pom-pom routines for passing cars. Even worse if you're an "institution."

I am stealing this for my sig.

My contribution is the accused.

Robin

[Duckster]

Former bank CEO ...

[Ferret Herder]

"Former Illinois governor" :D

[kittenblue]

Between jobs....

[Little Nemo]

"The center of an intense legal battle" is never a good place to be.

Nobody ever wants to have the phrase "officially calling off the search" associated with them.

And if your doctor uses the word "interesting" in describing your case, you're in trouble.

[KGS]

"Police investigators were unable to find the penis."

:eek:

[Civil Guy]

"Identified from a DNA sample"

"Honorary" = never really made that particular grade.

[Mr. Excellent]

"The center of an intense legal battle" is never a good place to be.


Speak for yourself, brother. Put me where the fire is! *dons asbestos business suit, places flameproof Constitution in shirt pocket*

[Scissorjack]

"Disgruntled former employee"

"Moody loner"

[Pyper]

I remember in elementary school, the award for most improved, was code for "borderline mentally retarded, but tries hard."

[The Vorlon]

"Turning his life around..."


or the ever-popular "aspireing rap singer"

[Celyn]

Probably just about any noun preceded by "troubled ... " counts.

[Kozmik]

"The center of an intense legal battle" is never a good place to be.HahaHAHAHA!!

[matt_mcl]

.....and at the press conference the Premier was reported to be tired and emotional.

"Tired and emotional" is press-speak (in Canada anyway) for falling-down drunk. I've wondred how they would actually described someone who genuinely was tired and emotional, and alcohol-free as well.

Fatigued and upset?

[thirdwarning]

Did I miss "person of interest"?

[Loach]

On administrative leave
Registered under Megan's Law

[3trew]

"Plagued by recent financial difficulties"

"Perennial third party candidate"

"An erratic genius"

A personal favourite, from an obituary thread I read many years ago: "One of the foremost courtroom nuisances of his time".

[outlierrn]

'One of our frequent flyers.'

[TwistofFate]

"Detectives wish to speak with"

"confirmed batchelor"

".. who had ties to gangland activities"

[Der Trihs]

"hunted internationally"

"suspected"

"diagnosed"

"contagious"

"Patient Zero"

"instigator"

[CairoCarol]

"His conviction was overturned on appeal...."

I used to date a guy who, when I Google him now, produces variations on that phrase, with supporting information, and not much else. (Knowing him, the court got it right the first time.)

[willthekittensurvive?]

Released on a technicality

Big in Japan

As seen on COPS

Nr 1 in the German music charts

[don't ask]

heiress to the Hilton fortune

[Celyn]

heiress to the Hilton fortune


Nah, I could live with that one. :)

It involves a bit more money than "very quiet, "kept herself to herself" *seemed* pleasant enough ................ :eek:

[LurkMeister]

Charged eight times but never convicted ...

[don't ask]

Nah, I could live with that one. :)

It involves a bit more money than "very quiet, "kept herself to herself" *seemed* pleasant enough ................ :eek:

Fair enough Paris.

[dwc1970]

"Has stepped down (or resigned) for personal reasons."

This one always reeks so strongly of suspicion of some egregious wrongdoing.

[Khampelf]

I commented to a new friend the other day "I think that cop saw us. We're now 'known associates'.

[willthekittensurvive?]

Subject of several fatwa’s

[Marley23]

I don't want to be an "aspiring" anything or a "serial" anything, or an "embattled" anything. Or a "television personality."

[Missy2U]

Public Official "A"

[Nars Glinley]

Was seen on Dr. Phil (Maury, et al)

[Fish]

Multiple. Multiple what? Doesn't matter.

As Terry Pratchett says, nothing good ever comes after "multiple." Stab wounds, sclerosis, personality disorder, trauma, ...

[silenus]

Multiple. Multiple what? Doesn't matter.

As Terry Pratchett says, nothing good ever comes after "multiple." Stab wounds, sclerosis, personality disorder, trauma, ...

...orgasms?

[Rube E. Tewesday]

"Once promising"

[Ellen Cherry]

I don't want to be ... an "embattled" anything. ...

This was mine. I've been counting the "embattleds" in the news lately.

I saw Lyle Lovett last weekend, and he told about the time his friend and cello player John Hagan were mentioned in the news. Lovett was reported to have been "seen in the back seat of his car with male companion John Hagan."

Lyle smiled that crooked grin of his and shrugged, "hey we were just going somewhere in the car!"

[Alastair Moonsong]

"Plagued by recent financial difficulties"

"Perennial third party candidate"

"An erratic genius"

A personal favourite, from an obituary thread I read many years ago: "One of the foremost courtroom nuisances of his time".


Hey! That's something I ASPIRE to, thank you very much! Either "erratic genius" or "eccentric genius", whichever scares the neighbors more! :D

My contribution: "Deposed ruler of..."

[Stephe96]

You also never want to see your name and "Jaws of Life" in the same sentence.

[Fish]

...orgasms?
I dunno... I wouldn't want to be known for that. It would have to be my secret. :)

[Marley23]

This was mine. I've been counting the "embattleds" in the news lately.
Quit now. You'll go insane.

[Der Trihs]

"Highly radioactive" or "aflame" would be bad.

"Consensual cannibal"

"Eunuch"

[Chronos]

Quoth Alastair Moonsong:Hey! That's something I ASPIRE to, thank you very much! Either "erratic genius" or "eccentric genius", whichever scares the neighbors more!Amen to that. I've been carefully cultivating a reputation as "eccentric" for some time now.

[AskNott]

"Eccentric" means "crazy, but rich."

I could handle "known radical." I'm probably on file somewhere as a "known associate of crime figures." I guess I can't escape that.

"Iconoclast" is something I've worked to be all my life.

"Local man mauled by dogs?" No thanks.

"Dies after high-speed chase"

[mikeargo]

"Resigned to spend more time with his family"

[Paul in Qatar]

... who lent his name to the Syndrome.

[Scissorjack]

"Once promising"

Whom the gods wish to destroy, they first call "promising".

[willthekittensurvive?]

partly recovered

[GuanoLad]

Former husband of pop diva Madonna.

[Leaper]

Did I miss "person of interest"?

See, there's this thing we like to call the "OP," or "original post." Such a post usually comes at the very beginning of a thread, and is the one that starts the whole thing off... :D

More to the list (with full acknowledgment that I could be writing down something I just read in this thread, but completely forgot that I just read; I do that sometimes - and worse, sometimes I think in that moment of forgetfulness/self-delusion that I just made it up, and boy is it a good idea):

"intense manhunt"
"former Presidential candidate" (because really, if that's the most memorable thing about you, how often does that turn out well?)
"much maligned"
"as dramatized in the made for TV movie..." (or worse, "several TV movies")

[Lucky 13]

In a similar vein "colourful racing identity".

:confused:
Can you please explain this for the non-Aussie Dopers?

[Ale]

"Usual suspect"

"Unsuspecting xxx"

"A warning to others"

"Sheep f****r" Hi Hal!

"Phenotype"

[Der Trihs]

"partially consumed"

"subject of the controversial pardon"

"consumed in the fireball"

[RickJay]

"partially consumed"

If we're allowing physical descriptions, you have to admit that this, as well as the following phrases, are definitely less desirable than somehting like "died peacefully in her/his sleep":

"Decapitated"

"In a hail of bullets"

"Explosively decompressed"

"Gnawed on by his dogs"

[Jackmannii]

Three-time loser (U.S. usage; in some states a thrice-convicted felon gets an automatic life sentence).

"Search teams fanned out across the countryside" (the terms "necrosearch" and "body-sniffing dogs" are ones you don't want to appear in stories about your disappearance).

"Full rigor" is not so good either.

[Sigmagirl]

. . . cautionary tale

partially clad . . .

[willthekittensurvive?]

strangely enough still recognisable and unrecognisable are both words I would not like to have near my name

[willthekittensurvive?]

and I don't want to be know as "of uncertain gender"
thank you very much!

[Northern Piper]

I don't have anything to contribute, but just want to say that this is one of the most morbid yet funny threads I've read!

and I don't want to be know as "of uncertain gender"
thank you very much!

Can I use that as a sig?

[Sunrazor]

'helping police with their enquiries'Or, similarly, "cooperating fully with police."

[willthekittensurvive?]

Can I use that as a sig?

Including the "Originally Posted by willthekittensurvive?"

cool!

[pravnik]

If we're allowing physical descriptions, you have to admit that this, as well as the following phrases, are definitely less desirable than somehting like "died peacefully in her/his sleep":

"Decapitated"

"In a hail of bullets"

"Explosively decompressed"

"Gnawed on by his dogs"Some musician friends of mine got a record deal in the nineties, and were in the middle of recording an album when they saw an headline in the local newspaper that was so memorable they decided to use it as the album titile:

Mutilation Makes Identification Difficult

[elfkin477]

"Following her [number]th DUI/drug possession charge..."

In the same vein as what pravnik suggested, I think "Once beloved" isn't something to aspire to, either. The "once" makes it clear that you've screwed up along the way, and everyone knows it.

[Sternvogel]

"Jackson, 68, was preceded in death by his wife, Emily; their six chidren; all seventeen of their grandchildren; and all four of their great-grandchildren."

[pravnik]

I am stealing this for my sig.
RobinYou have my permission, so long as I can count on your vote in the next mayoral election.

HRH pravnik I
Emperor of Texas and Protector of Mexico

[MsRobyn]

You have my permission, so long as I can count on your vote in the next mayoral election.

HRH pravnik I
Emperor of Texas and Protector of Mexico

Be happy to. Do you have Rick Perry hair?

Robin

[Creaky]

"...had a history of mental illness."

Definitely doesn't help witness or suspect credibility.

[Kozmik]

"also known as..."

[Chronos]

"Eccentric" means "crazy, but rich."Not necessarily. Professors can also be eccentric, regardless of monetary status.

[Scissorjack]

"...had a history of mental illness."

Definitely doesn't help witness or suspect credibility.

Y'know, I was waiting for this one. As someone who has a history of mental illness, I question why it's any more of a pejorative term than "a history of diabetes", other than because of popular media stereotypes of mental illness as somehow evil, criminal or degenerate.

[Cyberhwk]

If we're allowing physical descriptions, you have to admit that this, as well as the following phrases, are definitely less desirable than somehting like "died peacefully in her/his sleep":

"Decapitated"

"In a hail of bullets"

"Explosively decompressed"

"Gnawed on by his dogs"Not fit for viewing.

[cuberdon]

If we're allowing physical descriptions, you have to admit that this, as well as the following phrases, are definitely less desirable than somehting like "died peacefully in her/his sleep":

"Decapitated"

"In a hail of bullets"

"Explosively decompressed"

"Gnawed on by his dogs"

"in a state of advanced decomposition"

[Odesio]

There was once a thread about phrases you don't want to have in your obituary. Mine were lifelong bachelor, longtime companion, and complications from pneumonia.


I shouldn't be laughing at this but you really cracked me up. Is it 1986 again? Kudos, good sir, kudos!

[salinqmind]

^ I dunno about that last one. I don't necessarily think being a crazy cat lady is a bad thing (which is good, as I'm well on my way to becoming one).

Me, too. I only hope I don't end up in a front page story someday..."the body of the elderly recluse was found, gnawed by her many cats, after neighbors reported a bad odor..."

Many badasses around here resort to shooting or stabbing other badasses who sell them imitation drugs, give them the stinkeye, or are involved in one of those mysterious unspecified 'long-running disputes'. An alarming number, though, are:

"transported to the hospital for treatment after being shot/stabbed in the buttocks".

Now, your run- of- the- mill cheap thief, say, a purse snatcher, is often chased down by the police:

"police tracked the suspect, following his footprints in the snow, to a house they entered and searched. The police apprehended the suspect hiding: (pick one)

- in a closet among the coats
- under a pile of dirty laundry
- under his momma's bed "

[Creaky]

Y'know, I was waiting for this one. As someone who has a history of mental illness, I question why it's any more of a pejorative term than "a history of diabetes", other than because of popular media stereotypes of mental illness as somehow evil, criminal or degenerate.

Dude, check your Private Message Mailbox. :)

[Gala Matrix Fire]

"...authorities had to remove a wall to remove the half-ton-plus woman..."

"...the YouTube video of the embarrassing incident garnered over a million hits in two days..."

[Captain Amazing]

"Recovering/in recovery"

"In stable condition"

"Former reality TV star"

[pendgwen]

In a similar vein to the OP's "known to police" I sometimes see ER notes describing a patient as "well known to ER staff". Almost always indicates that the patient will be complicated either medically or socially.

[Jackmannii]

"in a state of advanced decomposition""An entomology expert was called in to establish the time of death".

[Mighty_Girl]

Wanted in connection...
Last seen...

[Der Trihs]

"widely distributed remains"

"suspected cult leader"

[Vox Imperatoris]

"Winner of the Eurovison Song Contest"

Valete,
Vox Imperatoris

[Der Trihs]

"known cannibal"

[Vox Imperatoris]

Big in Japan

I didn't see this one the first time. So true. :p

Valete,
Vox Imperatoris

[Green Bean]

"Closed-casket funeral"

(if the decedent is not of a group who doesn't do the open-casket thing)

And in many cases, "entrepreneur" is most definitely not a compliment.

[dogbutler]

In connection with a police search of your home:
"refrigerator full of eyeballs"
"4 partially consumed human torsos"
"pyramid of human skulls"
"extensive NKOTB record collection"

[Dolores Reborn]

Suspect.

[Bam Boo Gut]

computer repair technicians turned his hard drive over to the police and
following a report from the photo developing store
mother of twelve
councilling services are being offered to the survivours

[willthekittensurvive?]

dear New York Post

while it is true I play a mage in my warhammer roleplaying group, but referring to me as "Imperial grand Wizard" in your fine paper would cause me severe inconvenience at my job at a local video store in Harlem

[willthekittensurvive?]

also

hapless accomplice
innocent bystander
and

local expert on Victorian Pornography

[Vox Imperatoris]

dear New York Post

while it is true I play a mage in my warhammer roleplaying group, but referring to me as "Imperial grand Wizard" in your fine paper would cause me severe inconvenience at my job at a local video store in Harlem

Is this an actual occurrence? :eek: Even if it wasn't, it made me laugh out loud. :D

Valete,
Vox Imperatoris

[Bootis]

Y'know, I was waiting for this one. As someone who has a history of mental illness, I question why it's any more of a pejorative term than "a history of diabetes", other than because of popular media stereotypes of mental illness as somehow evil, criminal or degenerate.


But- the only time it's used to publicly describe a person is usually when that person has committed some kind of crime that was noteworthy enough to make the news...

I think of it like this- there's nothing wrong with masturbating, but I wouldn't want to be publicly earmarked as a masturbater.

[willthekittensurvive?]

But- the only time it's used to publicly describe a person is usually when that person has committed some kind of crime that was noteworthy enough to make the news...

I think of it like this- there's nothing wrong with masturbating, but I wouldn't want to be publicly earmarked as a masturbater.

or a notorious user of public toilets

[Nobody]

"Called before congress."

[Creaky]

"Called before congress."

Good one!! :D

[Scissorjack]

But- the only time it's used to publicly describe a person is usually when that person has committed some kind of crime that was noteworthy enough to make the news...

Creaky was kind enough to send me a long PM clarifying his position, to which I'm still pondering an equally nuanced reply, but my point is that if the mental illness isn't relevant to the crime, which it generally isn't, than it's not relevant to the story, and only serves to reinforce in many people's minds a largely spurious association between the illness and the behaviour: "Scissorjack, who has a history of mental illness, was stopped and cautioned for excceding the speed limit."

[Nobody]

Good one!! :D
Thank you. :cool:

[willthekittensurvive?]

<Insert name here> brings shame to our hometown

<Insert name here> was denied entry into the Uk

Pope Benedict XVI recently reinstated <insert name here>into the catholic church

[willthekittensurvive?]

by court mandate not allowed to come within a 5 mile radius of any elementry school, kindergarten or chickenfarm

and

while the details of the setlement are not known: parties close to <insert name here> reported to the press it included a experimental genital restraining device


yes, i spend a lot of time worrying about my name in the paper

[Nobody]

Speaking through his lawyer...

[thirdwarning]

How about:

perennial presidential candidate

[Der Trihs]

"White Power advocate"

"Professional rabblerouser"

"confessed"

"exorcised"

[willthekittensurvive?]

his funeral wasnot picketed by Fred Phelps

[DMark]

....crony of George W. Bush...

....acquitted pedophile...

....had a bit part in porn movie...

....Jeffery Dahmer's roommate...

....Roseanne Barr's ex-husband...


(...actually, all of the above would make for a very funny resume, assuming you wanted to continue getting unemployment...)

[Bryan Ekers]

"...before turning the gun on himself..."

[Shodan]

"...survived by his wife Hilary..."

Regards,
Shodan

[MsRobyn]

Being "al-Qaeda's second-in-command" isn't a formula to follow if you want to live a long and happy life.

Robin

[Der Trihs]

Being "al-Qaeda's second-in-command" isn't a formula to follow if you want to live a long and happy life.Either that or the guy's immortal and they need to send some special forces guys with swords to chop his head off.

"One hit wonder"

[jali]

Former spouse of Britney Spears.

[Lust4Life]

Footballs hard man...................Dirty player.


After the defendant has been aquitted,the police are not continuing with the investigation...........He's guilty as hell and got off on a technicality.

A larger then life,boisterous character................A yob.

[Death of Rats]

Fair enough Paris.

Can't it at least be Nicky? She fights crime at the IHOP (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29354575/)! :D

[Telperion]

"Armed and dangerous"

[enalzi]

"After his failed world-record attempt..."
"during a stunt gone horribly wrong..."
"Best known as the runner-up of the VH1 reality show..."

[BMalion]

Summoned before a Grand Jury

[Der Trihs]

"self proclaimed 'Emperor of the World' "

"human guinea pig"

"< name> the Mad"

"costumed criminal" ( especially bad if you AREN'T a comic book character . . . )

[Yumblie]

My roommates and I were utterly bored one evening and watching some dumb reality show. In the beginning they were interviewing each of the contestants, and in the bottom left corner it'd display their name and a brief descriptor, usually their occupation. One girl's description was simply "College Graduate".

I don't know about anyone else, but if "College Graduate" is all they would be able to come up with for me, I would be pretty disappointed with myself.

[Sailboat]

IMHO the "history of mental illness" comment wasn't so much pejorative as something one wouldn't want to have suffered. Some of these other comments, for example, "identified by dental records," indicate a fate that's not stigmatized but still unpleasant enough one wouldn't want to be described in such a way. I'm sure sufferers of mental illness would rather not be sufferers.

On-topic:

"Laughingstock"

[Loach]

IMHO the "history of mental illness" comment wasn't so much pejorative as something one wouldn't want to have suffered. Some of these other comments, for example, "identified by dental records," indicate a fate that's not stigmatized but still unpleasant enough one wouldn't want to be described in such a way. I'm sure sufferers of mental illness would rather not be sufferers.

On-topic:

"Laughingstock"


I think it has more to do with the fact of when it would be brought up. You won't see, "Sailboat, who has a history of mental illness, won SDMB Poster of the Year." You will see, "The suspect has been identified as Sailboat, who has a history of mental illness." It's shorthand for "He did it because his fucking nuts".

[Alastair Moonsong]

"...still glowing..." probably couldn't mean anything good.

"...covered in lash marks..."

"...bound and gagged..."

[willthekittensurvive?]

"...still glowing..." probably couldn't mean anything good.

"...covered in lash marks..."

"...bound and gagged..."

actually all three could describe the morning after a epic one-night stand

[Quercus]

Multiple. Multiple what? Doesn't matter.

As Terry Pratchett says, nothing good ever comes after "multiple." Stab wounds, sclerosis, personality disorder, trauma, ...
Actually, “multiple” is OK if it’s soon followed by “award winning”.

But it’s bad again if “award” is preceded by “Darwin”

[Alastair Moonsong]

actually all three could describe the morning after a epic one-night stand

Oh, they most definitely could. But I still sure as hell wouldn't wanna be described as such in the papers... :D

[enalzi]

I would hate to have the word "ironically" in my obituary.

[Der Trihs]

"Lovecraftian"

"rotting"

"parasitized"

"war criminal"

"targeted"

[Stephe96]

Officials say he believed he was chatting online with a 13-year-old girl/boy, but was, in fact, talking with a state police detective.

[BMalion]

bludgeoned.

[willthekittensurvive?]

irrelevant

mourned by none

subject of a Oompa-Loompa song

[Sr Siete]

"Had to change his identity..."

"Disfigured"


And having an illness or a law named after you. That's never a good sign.

[TJVM]

Common-law wife is a phrase you never hear about, say, the longtime companion (in a heterosexual way) of the local symphony director.
That's the one I came in to say. There's nothing technically wrong with being a common-law wife, but it always seems to be mentioned on the news in an unsavory context, as in "...being sought for questioning in connection with the slaying of his common-law wife."

[Hugh Jass]

"Kennedy cousin" or "member of the Kennedy clan"

other bad words to see in an obit:

unrepentant
shameless
gratuitous
hapless
effete
recalcitrant
purveyor of adult novelties
silly
grotesquery
carnival legend
fey
campy
foppish
aspiring stand up comedian
Youtube legend

[Scissorjack]

"Lovecraftian"

batrachian

eldritch

gibbous

ineffable

[Larry Borgia]

"....before turning the gun on himself."

[willthekittensurvive?]

"the Lollipop Guild held a parade for the assassin of<insert name here>"

[Kozmik]

"survived by..."

[Sefton]

subject of a Oompa-Loompa song

:D :D :D

Yes, that is a terrible way to be described posthumously. That and any limerick that starts with "There once was a..."

There should be a thread where people write Oompa-Loompa songs about themselves. There aren't enough of them in this world.