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Monstre
03-16-2009, 03:40 PM
FAQ Bauer (aka Thread Rules)
1) What can be discussed in plain text, unboxed?
A: Any events in episodes, once aired on the east coast -- as well as any speculation based on these already-aired events.

2) What should I confine to spoiler boxes?
A: Any discussion of upcoming shows that contains information from sources outside the aired material, or any speculation based on such things. This includes the "Next week on 24" previews, which some people choose not to watch.

3) Is John Voight the main villain, or will there be yet another higher-ranking baddie once Jack catches up to him?
A: I'm guessing that Benjamin Linus is behind it all.

-----------
Previously on 24...

- Juma forces Madame President to read his poems on national TV. Vogons strangle themselves with their own intestines to escape.

- Hushed conversation ensues among the hostages:
Bill: "What are we going to do?"
Senator Mayer: "Hey. Are you making plans? Can I get in on this? Tell me the plans? Pleeeeeze?"
Jack: "Don't you have more ex-CTU agents to go prosecute? Buzz off."
Bill: "So what's the plan, Jack?"
Jack: "Before we opened the safe room, I blew out the pilot light and turned the stove on. We're gonna have a barbeque soon..."
Bill: "I love barbeque! But I like mine medium rare, I'd better go check it!"
*** KABOOOOOM! ***
Bye, Bill...

- Now that the First Daughter is safe, she resumes Normal Bitchiness Mode.

- With Juma and men dead, John Voight comes to the fore. Why he's getting a shipment of weapons from Juma is a mystery, since wasn't he supplying the Juma regime with American weapons originally? What could Juma possibly have that we don't? But the race is on, to get to Ryan.

- Jack gets there first, makes Ryan soil himself, but then... the Sneaky Ceiling Assassin strikes. Jack pursues. And Agent Rowrrr is cleaning out her desk. Or is she...?

----------

24, Season 7, Episode 14
9:00 PM - 10:00 PM

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Season 7 threads:
1-2 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=501317) 3-4 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=501477) 5 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=502564) 6 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=503715) 7 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=504782) 8 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=505793) 9 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=506907) 10 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=507883) 11-12 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508885) 13 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=509715)

24: Redemption (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=494375) thread

Season 6 threads:
1-2 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=404031) 3-4 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=404207) 5 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=405134) 6 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=406190) 7 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=407210) 8-9 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=408162) 10 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=409155) 11 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=410097) 12 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=411097) 13 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=412063) 14 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=413073) 15 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=414104) 16 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=414977) 17 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=415909) 18 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=416971) 19 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=417977) 20 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=418918) 21 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=419869) 22 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=420847) 23-24 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=421755)

Season 5 threads:
1-2 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=354332) 3-4 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=354436) 5 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=355459) 6 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=356499) 7 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=357589) 8 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=358698) 9 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=359770) 10 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=360788) 11-12 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=361746) 13 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=362734) 14 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=363743) 15 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=364735) 16 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=365781) 17 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=366813) 18 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=367766) 19 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=368752) 20 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=369764) 21 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=370750) 22 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=371748) 23-24 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=372700)

Season 4 threads:
1-2 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=296090) 3-4 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=296231) 5 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=297399) 6 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=298733) 7 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=299932) 8 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=301189) 9 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=302470) 10 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=303632) 11 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=304737) 12 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=305851) 13 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=306966) 14 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=308104) 15 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=309170) 16 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=310254) 17 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=311420) 18 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=312536) 19 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=313693) 20 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=314775) 21 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=315825) 22 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=316840) 23-24 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=317888)

Season 3 threads:
1 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=220002) 2 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=221380) 3 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=222709) 4 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=224017) 5 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=225274) 6 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=226621) 7 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=228098) 8 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=229589) 9 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=233364) 10 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=234768) 11 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=236885) 12 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=237968) 13 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=239159) 14 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=240183) 15 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=241649) 16 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=248269) 17 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249575) 18 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=251669) 19 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=252057) 20 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=253222) 21 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=254435) 22 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=255627) 23 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=256792) 24 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=258060)

Season 2 threads:
1 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=141661) 2 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=142720) 3 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=143761) 4 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=144882) 5 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=146280) 6 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=147635) 7 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=149356) 8 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=150854) 9 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=154843) 10 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=156343) 11 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=160583) 12 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=162262) 13 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=163850) 14 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=165404) 15 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=167046) 16 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=172344) 17 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=174079) 18 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=175707) 19 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=177496) 20 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=178804) 21 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=180544) 22 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=182018) 23 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=183597) 24 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=185081)

Season 1 threads:
1 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=97572) 2 3 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=100175) 4 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=101350) 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=103851) 16 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=104854) 17 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=106093) 18 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=107360) 19 20 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=109991) 21 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=111266) 22 23 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=115233) 24 (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=116289)

John DiFool
03-16-2009, 08:11 PM
Okay, decided to tune in because I was bored...

Re: Voight's little rant that "we are doing what is absolutely necessary," despite the fact that people have died, something "I find completely tragic." So what exactly is the point of your little coup attempt/terrorist attack? Anybody figured out precisely how any of these plots are going to strengthen the country, as opposed to fundamentally weakening it?

Monstre
03-16-2009, 08:28 PM
You'd think Walker would at least decide to tell Larry about the perp -- because Jack did send her the image of who really did kill Ryan. She didn't have to come forth right away with the "He's at Senator Mayer's place", but she could at least say, "He sent me a pic of the real murderer, and I identified him". That could help, you know...

Monstre
03-16-2009, 08:35 PM
Thanks Morris -- you just screwed the pooch again.

Oh, and pointing to Janis -- "You're a witness to this" on his agreement. That was dumb -- she's with the guy you're bargaining with. Get you an independent witness.

carnivorousplant
03-16-2009, 08:41 PM
"Bauer has more experience and training than anyone in this room...and that includes me!"

Winnie the Pooh has more experience and training than he. :rolleyes:

Monstre
03-16-2009, 08:45 PM
"Trust isn't my greatest asset". Nice.

Monstre
03-16-2009, 08:47 PM
Oh crap -- that's right. Sneaky Ceiling Assassin took a cop car, didn't he? So he would have heard the messages sending the cops to Mayer's house.

Well, I guess Jack won't be appearing before Mayer's congressional hearing panel tomorrow morning, after all.

carnivorousplant
03-16-2009, 08:53 PM
It's a trap...Jack's gonna getcha.

carnivorousplant
03-16-2009, 08:56 PM
Outstanding!

Mrs. Plant: "You killed him!"
CP: (Jack has 2x4) "And he's gonna kill him again..."

Monstre
03-16-2009, 09:00 PM
Shoot on sight. Jack's going to get some practice in his bullet-dodging skills.

So how many trucks can be started right up with a bloody screwdriver, like that?

If Larry at all had believed that Jack was telling the truth about being framed, then wouldn't it make sense that the baddie doing the framing might be the killer of Mayer, not Jack? He automatically assumed that Jack did it, even though he just saved the President's life an hour and a half earlier... Larry must be pretty sore that his former main squeeze seems to have the hots for Jack...

Stephe96
03-16-2009, 09:49 PM
Anyone else think First Daughter Olivia is a dead-ringer for Reese Witherspoon?

Stephe96
03-16-2009, 09:54 PM
So how many trucks can be started right up with a bloody screwdriver, like that?
.

I'd say most of 'em. I had a car stolen once and that's exactly how they did it. After I got it back I was starting my car up with a screwdriver for a couple of days.

Monstre
03-16-2009, 10:03 PM
I'd say most of 'em. I had a car stolen once and that's exactly how they did it. After I got it back I was starting my car up with a screwdriver for a couple of days.

Really? Didn't know that would work...

Stephe96
03-16-2009, 10:10 PM
Really? Didn't know that would work...

Oh, it works, all right. In fact, it's so simple to do that I now get a kick when I see someone like Jack Bauer actually cross wires to start a car. Although, I suppose if you didn't have a screwdriver handy you'd have to make do.

msmith537
03-16-2009, 10:38 PM
"...okay, now that I finally earned Jack's trust we can go to the authorities together and get to the bottom of this...but first let me answer the door...clearly there would not be anyone there who would kill me and..."

DUDE!! BAUER!!! HAVE YOU NOT LIVED IN THE WORLD OF '24' FOR THE PAST SEVEN SEASONS?!!


Didn't see that coming with the bulldozer. I thought he would have just smacked him with the 2x4.

carnivorousplant
03-16-2009, 10:40 PM
In fact, it's so simple to do that I now get a kick when I see someone like Jack Bauer actually cross wires to start a car.

And my 2000 Grand Am things I'm trying to steal my own car and turns off the fuel pump because it doesn't like my key. :rolleyes:

Gangster Octopus
03-17-2009, 12:39 AM
So am I the only one who would think the first thing they do to a suspended agent is restrict their access to secret files and databases?

tr0psn4j
03-17-2009, 01:28 AM
So am I the only one who would think the first thing they do to a suspended agent is restrict their access to secret files and databases?

I posed the same question to my friend and he said "pfft, everyone has access to the internet."


Coolest part of the show was when Jack threw a screwdriver so hard, it punctured a bullet proof vest and the guy's chest.

Wheelz
03-17-2009, 08:07 AM
Boy, the First Hottie is a devious little bitch, isn't she?

I'll retract that insult if I'm proven wrong, but I think nobody will be surprised when we find out she did indeed orchestrate the leak, with every intention of riding to the rescue and looking like the hero. Did she literally skip into the Oval Office? "You wanted to see me, Mommy? Guess what -- I fixed big mean Ethan's big bad mistake (giggle)!"

My guess is she's even dirtier than we know, and will turn out to be a major part of the big picture later in the day.

Sage Rat
03-17-2009, 08:35 AM
My guess is she's even dirtier than we know, and will turn out to be a major part of the big picture later in the day.
Sherry Palmer, v.2.

carnivorousplant
03-17-2009, 10:10 AM
Boy, the First Hottie is a devious little bitch, isn't she?

I'll retract that insult if I'm proven wrong,

Jesus, she's supposed to be Chelsea! :eek:

Big_Norse
03-17-2009, 02:39 PM
So Voight's evil henchmen are having a sleepover? It kind of makes them less ominous when they have to be told to pack their jammies and toothbrush.

randwill
03-17-2009, 03:35 PM
Major eye-roll at the first vehicle Jack stole. It took him no more than 3 seconds to break into the steering column, find the right wires, shave the insulation off them, put them together and drive away.

They might as well give him "car-starting vision" or something.

MEBuckner
03-17-2009, 05:25 PM
So Voight's evil henchmen are having a sleepover? It kind of makes them less ominous when they have to be told to pack their jammies and toothbrush.
Ooh--Do you think they have footie pajamas?

Ronald C. Semone
03-17-2009, 08:06 PM
Can you, or even Jack Bauer, really break a car window with your elbow?

Sage Rat
03-17-2009, 08:57 PM
Can you, or even Jack Bauer, really break a car window with your elbow?
I suspect that if I was shot bodily at a glass window at 50 MPH with my arm out front, that I could indeed break through it.

No comment on what my physical state would be afterward, of course.

JThunder
03-17-2009, 09:22 PM
Can you, or even Jack Bauer, really break a car window with your elbow?Dude, Jack Bauer could break Chuck Norris with his elbow.

Heck, he could break Chuck Norris, Mr. T., and a suitably unprepared Batman, all with one blow.

Ichini Sanshigo
03-17-2009, 10:01 PM
Dude, Jack Bauer could break Chuck Norris with his elbow.

Heck, he could break Chuck Norris, Mr. T., and a suitably unprepared Batman, all with one blow.

But not without majorly angsting about it for brief breaks in between the action.

Also, I cannot believe I slept through last night's episode. Laid down to rest my eyes and my knees and woke up exactly 3 minutes after the show was over. Somehow, I don't think I missed much that won't be covered in next week's previouslies/this thread/Dave Barry's blog/ TwoP.

Sage Rat
03-17-2009, 10:35 PM
Heck, he could break Chuck Norris, Mr. T., and a suitably unprepared Batman, all with one blow.

Going on the philosophy that if you mention the same thing enough times it might make its way into memedom, I'd still say that Jack Bauer is the Anti-Batman. Batman is unstoppable when he's prepared, but has no recourse but to run away when caught flat-footed. Jack Bauer will always prevail when caught in a situation he totally didn't expect, but all his best laid plans will always fail.

Irishman
03-17-2009, 10:58 PM
Break window with elbow. Oops, broke elbow instead. No?

I love how jumping through a set of French doors protects you from machine gun bullets.

Walker definitely should have confirmed there was a ceiling assassin and that she ID'd him. That really wouldn't have given away Jack's location or intent to question Senator Mayer. And definitely would have helped with the "shoot Jack on sight" order.

And Jack should have called Agent Moss from the dead assassin's still-warm body and said "I caught the assassin. Yeah, he's dead, but he left the gun he used to kill Senator Mayer, sorry about that, he's dead too. No, I can't come in, I'm not done yet, and you'll just botch it, but please don't shoot me on sight."

So what exactly is the point of your little coup attempt/terrorist attack? Anybody figured out precisely how any of these plots are going to strengthen the country, as opposed to fundamentally weakening it?

That's bugging me, too. Take out all the people that are trying to shut down their illegal commando company?


Winnie the Pooh has more experience and training than he.

Win!


Anyone else think First Daughter Olivia is a dead-ringer for Reese Witherspoon?

She bears a resemblance.


Coolest part of the show was when Jack threw a screwdriver so hard, it punctured a bullet proof vest and the guy's chest.

Well that was the guy's mistake. He should have been wearing a screwdriver-proof vest.


I'll retract that insult if I'm proven wrong, but I think nobody will be surprised when we find out she did indeed orchestrate the leak, with every intention of riding to the rescue and looking like the hero. Did she literally skip into the Oval Office? "You wanted to see me, Mommy? Guess what -- I fixed big mean Ethan's big bad mistake (giggle)!"

Played to me more straight up. Yes, she was kinda smug about it, but that's because she was able to get independent proof that she didn't do it, so now Ethan looks doubly like an ass. Plus, since she's out to get him, that just makes his job to discredit her harder.

Big_Norse
03-18-2009, 12:55 PM
Ooh--Do you think they have footie pajamas?Matching black footie pajamas - and machine guns.

MovieMogul
03-18-2009, 01:16 PM
Looks like Ray Wise continues to be the only RoboCop alum to make it out of Jack's 24 netherworld alive.

Naturally, the most sincere and coherent argument yet made against torture on the show is from the guy who, unbeknownst to him, has only 30 more seconds to live. Stupid trusting dummy! This is Jack's world, bitch!

And who in the world ever opens a door for the "police" without looking through the keyhole first?

JThunder
03-18-2009, 04:44 PM
Through the keyhole?

MaxTheVool
03-18-2009, 06:58 PM
Jack's confrontation with Quinn, particularly the bulldozer, was absolutely top-notch 24.

What can you say but "Damn, Jack"?


So far the first daughter plot is nearly Kim-cougar-trap lame and irrelevant, but we'll see if it goes somewhere.


Shouldn't the first gentleman be getting out of surgery fairly soon?

carnivorousplant
03-18-2009, 07:17 PM
What can you say but "Damn, Jack"?


As I recall, I exclaimed, "Outf--kingstanding!"

Is that a split infinitive?

Oslo Ostragoth
03-18-2009, 08:30 PM
...Dave Barry's blog....

He's still doing that? Got link?

Ichini Sanshigo
03-18-2009, 09:11 PM
Monday's show (http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2009/03/24-2.html)

carnivorousplant
03-18-2009, 10:33 PM
Monday's show (http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2009/03/24-2.html)

You, Sir, are a Gentleman and a Scholar.
Thanks!

Tom Tildrum
03-18-2009, 11:53 PM
As I recall, I exclaimed, "Outf--kingstanding!"

Is that a split infinitive?

Technically, that's called an "infix (http://www.answers.com/topic/infix)," by analogy to prefix and suffix.

Oslo Ostragoth
03-19-2009, 12:44 AM
Monday's show (http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2009/03/24-2.html)

Thanks so much. I'll be digging through the archives.

Oslo Ostragoth
03-19-2009, 12:48 AM
Thanks so much. I'll be digging through the archives.

p.s. I would be ever so grateful if you would post the link each week.

Ichini Sanshigo
03-19-2009, 08:11 AM
Sure, if I don't fall asleep again. :smack: