Coping with an ill spouse

[thewiz]

I've been around the SDMB long enough to know there are those who have gone through a period of time where you were either chronically sick/injured or had to take care of someone who was. My wife injured her back in September and I've pretty much been doing double duty ever since. So my question is: What did you do to cope? It's almost like being a single dad in that I work all day and then have to take care of all the home stuff as well. Between kids, work, and doctor's visits, I've probably been busier than I've been in a long time.

And before I get flamed, I'm not complaining. I really don't mind doing the double duty. There are days when I'm down or stressed out but most of the time I'm OK. I figure I'd ask those who have been down this road to see what others have done in the same situation.

So, if you were taking care of someone, what did you do to make it easier?

[straykat23]

Sorry to hear of your wife's illness and of your current situation.

When in a similar circumstance, I eventually found that my way of coping was to make time for myself and not feel guilty or selfish doing so. If you're working full time as well as being the caregiver it's often difficult to find time, but take what you can. On weekends I took the newspaper to my favorite coffee bar, read, and wrote in a journal. Plan to walk at least thirty minutes daily - this seems to clear the cobwebs and is a time to recharge. If you have to hire a sitter to do any of this, do so.

Look up "Surviving Your Spouse's Illness," by Chris McGonigle on amazon.com. Read the editorial and customer reviews -- looks like a good guide to help you through these difficult times.

Good luck to you and your family.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Having been both patient and nurse, I'd have to say that regular breaks are essential. Even if it's nothing more than going out for an hour or so every other day, this helps immensely. Also, the patient is relieved to have someone else visit/sit with her. I know that I got tired of seeing my husband, even though I was glad that he was taking care of me.