Has anyone else heard any crap about the swine flu being a sign of the Apocalypse?

[Skald the Rhymer]

My despised older brother just sent me some glurge to that affect; he also sees President Obama and the current economic crisis as being two other horsemen. The possible flu epidemic is what he's calling Pestilence; the recession is Famine; and Obama is War (because he supports abortion rights).

He is, of course, an idiot. But he's also caused me to wonder if others have heard similar lunacies recently.

[Anne Neville]

No, this is the first. But I've been expecting to hear something like that from the whack-a-loons since the first swine flu stories appeared.

[Duke]

So, what was Death in this tableau of crazy?

If I were a betting man, I'd pick GAY MARRIAGE!!11!! because, well, it had to go somewhere.

[Lamar Mundane]

I heard that it is all due to illegal Mexican immigrants. Apparantly they are crossing the border illegally into New Zealand.

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

Skald, how did you and he come from the same family?

[LilShieste]

My mom has a neighbor that is convinced the swine flu is a government-engineered virus that was used to target the "poor Mexicans".

Also, that the U.N. is using it to kill off 90% of the world's population, as outlined in their charter.

I'm serious.

[jk1245]

I haven't heard this (though I'm not surprised), but I have been waiting for the conspiracy theories to surface.

[Drunky Smurf]

I heard that it is all due to illegal Mexican immigrants. Apparantly they are crossing the border illegally into New Zealand.

And into England. Man those Mexicans are great swimmers. The real conspiracy is why aren't they always winning the gold at the Olympics? The white man is keeping the brown man down.

I can see Death being gay marriage because once they start marrying then everyone will become gay and no one will have kids and that will be the death of the human race.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Skald, how did you and he come from the same family?

I'm the odd man out, not he. There are persons in my family who think my wife needs an exorcism because she has some mental issues, and at least one person who insists that her meds are the problem.

My brother is also fond of boasting about all the gays he has helped turn straight in reparative therapy at his church. And his last visit he tickled my stepdaughter until she was weeping despite her begging him to stop. So you get a picture, she's five foot nothing; he's over six feet.

If he's ever found murdered, I am likely to be arrested no matter whether I had anything to do with it, because my younger sisters will both assume I did it and, when questioned by the police, each make up an alibi with me without consulting the other, thus making me look guilty.

[Skald the Rhymer]

My mom has a neighbor that is convinced the swine flu is a government-engineered virus that was used to target the "poor Mexicans".

Also, that the U.N. is using it to kill off 90% of the world's population, as outlined in their charter.

I'm serious.

So does that that Ban Ki-moon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ban_Ki-moon) is actually Ra's al Ghul (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ra%27s_al_Ghul), or is he only Ubu?

[Bruce Wayne]

I'm the odd man out, not he. There are persons in my family who think my wife needs an exorcism because she has some mental issues, and at least one person who insists that her meds are the problem.

My brother is also fond of boasting about all the gays he has helped turn straight in reparative therapy at his church. And his last visit he tickled my stepdaughter until she was weeping despite her begging him to stop. So you get a picture, she's five foot nothing; he's over six feet.

If he's ever found murdered, I am likely to be arrested no matter whether I had anything to do with it, because my younger sisters will both assume I did it and, when questioned by the police, each make up an alibi with me without consulting the other, thus making me look guilty.

I bet your family's Thanksgiving dinners are fun.

I have never heard the swine flu/apocalypse connection either. Can't wait. :rolleyes: As if 2012 wasn't enough.

[LilShieste]

So does that that Ban Ki-moon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ban_Ki-moon) is actually Ra's al Ghul (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ra%27s_al_Ghul), or is he only Ubu?
Ban has probably received a vaccine at some point in his life, which means he doesn't really have any control over his actions. Why, you ask? Well, because the government put their mind-control device in the vaccine, of course.

[Justin_Bailey]

At work today I mentioned in passing that I plan to re-read The Stand in honor of the swine flu and another co-worker mentioned she read something about a group of people who do see it as the end of the world. But she couldn't remember where she saw it.

[swampbear]

Well, according to the talking heads on tv, swine flu is...

OHMYGAWDIT'STHEAPOCALYPSEENDOFCIVILIZATIONANDWE'REALLGONNADIEAGONIZINGDEATHS 111!!!111 flu.

[Words on the Interweb]

Someone posted a comment to a Seattle Times article about swine flu and HIV being signs of the "End Times". I'd link it for posterity, but there are way too many articles on the topic, each with their own comments section, and I don't think my brain cells can stand another slog through them all, heh. One of the other popular theories is swine flu was manufactured by pharmaceutical companies so they can sell us a "cure".

[anu-la1979]

I work with people who think the CIA controls the weather, dairy is a conspiracy to eradicate black people and I won't even go into who they think caused 9/11. I am not making this up, I swear.

Swine flu? I'm laughing. "Dog flu" is where it's at over here in Surreality.

I'm telling you Anu, the dogs are who they're going to go after next. See, because we're more in contact with dogs than pigs. This was just an experiment.

[Fish]

The Four Hoarse Men of the Aporkalypse. The opening of the Seventh Squeal.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Limbaugh thinks it's a conspiracy (http://mediamatters.org/countyfair/200904270036).

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

So, what was Death in this tableau of crazy?

Shouldn't be too hard; just find the guy who always speaks in CAPITAL LETTERS.

:smack:

Wait a sec... that's half the internet.

Never mind.

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

If he's ever found murdered, I am likely to be arrested no matter whether I had anything to do with it, because my younger sisters will both assume I did it and, when questioned by the police, each make up an alibi with me without consulting the other, thus making me look guilty.

Maybe you should mention this problem to them now, and 'jokingly' come up with an all purpose alibi suitable for easy memorization. It would be a nice topic you could chat about while you clean your shotgun.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Maybe you should mention this problem to them now, and 'jokingly' come up with an all purpose alibi suitable for easy memorization. It would be a nice topic you could chat about while you clean your shotgun.

No, they're both crappy liars. I'd do better to just tell them to tell the police the truth as they know it and trust God to sort it out. Not that I believe in God, but they do.

[BetsQ]

You may have heard someone say that a black man would be come President only when pigs grew wings and started to fly? Well, how about that! Obama's been in office for 100 days and swine flu!

:)

[blondebear]

The other day, my coworker said that the flu is "...God's will--he will cure it if that is his plan."

But then, this morning, he said that "It could be a terrorist attack...just like 24!"

I'm eagerly awaiting the next theory.

[Moirai]

And into England. Man those Mexicans are great swimmers. The real conspiracy is why aren't they always winning the gold at the Olympics? The white man is keeping the brown man down.


There's an old joke about that- they don't win the Olympic medals because the ones who can run farthest, jump highest and swim fastest are already in the US...

:smack:

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

The other day, my coworker said that the flu is "...God's will--he will cure it if that is his plan."

But then, this morning, he said that "It could be a terrorist attack...just like 24!"

I'm eagerly awaiting the next theory.

Midichlorians

[Regallag_The_Axe]

[jesus tin hat]Don't you know? It's a conspiracy by the Obama* administration. Yes, yes, it is. A cunning plan, yes. You see, know he can appoint Kathleen Sebelius** as his health secretary, she will of course cause the death of millions of fetuses. Then, of course, he will step up the war in Iraq, yes yes, step it up until it draws in all nations, and the armies of the world converge upon Armageddon. While this is happening, you see, the chem-trails, the vapor behind the planes, you know, they will finally take effect, and make the worlds crops fail. And, of course swine flu will spread, yes, yes, it will. Do you see now, do you? Yes, yes it is the ennd of days, it is! sOme day, sooon the SEVENTH SEAL will opEN, and the deVOut shall shall be BrOUghT to HIs kIngdom. Heh, heh, yes. [/jesus tin hat]

[Tapioca Dextrin]

I'm eagerly awaiting the next theory.

Logically, God is a Muslim Terrorist. Logically

[pbbth]

I was on the subway today and some woman got on the train wearing latex gloves and a surgical mask to protect herself from the germs. Then two stops later some people she knew got on the train so she took off her face mask so she could talk to them. I haven't heard anyone talking about this being a sign of the end of the world or anything, but it wouldn't surprise me at all.

Stupid + paranoia = :smack:

[Black Sunshine]

I don't get it. I mean, swine flu=Pestilence and recession=Famine, sure, but how does supporting abortion rights=War? Why wouldn't it be Death? Death even rides a pale horse, which would go very nicely with Obama's skin tone, IMO.

C'mon people. Get your crazy straightened out before you go spreading it.

[Skald the Rhymer]

I don't get it. I mean, swine flu=Pestilence and recession=Famine, sure, but how does supporting abortion rights=War? Why wouldn't it be Death? Death even rides a pale horse, which would go very nicely with Obama's skin tone, IMO.

C'mon people. Get your crazy straightened out before you go spreading it.

The point of his email was that he is sure Death will be the last Horseman to arrive and that I must get myself and Kim right with God before then.

And yes, he sees Kim's salvation as my responsibility. Though she's already a regular church-goer, she can only be saved if *I* am, because the man is the head of the woman. Apparently her salvation no longer applied once she got married.

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

And yes, he sees Kim's salvation as my responsibility. Though she's already a regular church-goer, she can only be saved if *I* am, because the man is the head of the woman. Apparently her salvation no longer applied once she got married.

Yet another argument for living in sin.

[zoid]

You may have heard someone say that a black man would be come President only when pigs grew wings and started to fly? Well, how about that! Obama's been in office for 100 days and swine flu!

:)
bolding mine

Poor Chris Rock lost 1/2 his stand up routine.

[msmith537]

Where do you people find friends and family that dumb in real life?

[Jettboy]

The frignteningly religious consider everything to be a sign of the apocalypse; Y2K, Bird Flu, Swine Flu, President Obama being elected. If you fart in an elevator some wingnut will think the end is nigh.

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

The frignteningly religious consider everything to be a sign of the apocalypse; Y2K, Bird Flu, Swine Flu, President Obama being elected. If you fart in an elevator some wingnut will think the end is nigh.

If I fart in an elevator the end IS nigh.

[KGS]

I wish. If the Trilateral Commission really did team up with the Illuminati and the Reverse Vampires to bioengineer this virus and wipe out humanity as we know it, they failed miserably. It's treatable with Tamiflu, fer chrissakes. And most of the deaths have been shown to mainly be the result of crappy Mexican healthcare.

[kasuo]

And into England. Man those Mexicans are great swimmers. The real conspiracy is why aren't they always winning the gold at the Olympics? The white man is keeping the brown man down.

The joke I remember hearing growing up went something like:

Q: Why doesn't Mexico win more medals at the Olympics?
A: 'Cuz anybody who can run, jump, or swim is already here [in the U.S.].

And I'm with Black Sunshine on not getting some of the Four Horsemen connections the crazies are making. Talk about a stretch.

[elfkin477]

Skald, remind your brother that before the advent of the four horsemen, the antichrist will surface and preform miracles. Then ask him if he thinks anything in Obama's first 100 days counts as miraculous. Put that way, he'll stop worrying.

[Revtim]

Obama is War (because he supports abortion rights).That's awesome. The president who actually starts wars isn't War, Obama is. I'm almost jealous of being able to think this way.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Skald, aren't you African-American? The only reason I ask is that I think it would mean that your family would be somewhat atypical in the black community in their suspicion and opposition to a President who is, by every empirical measure, about the most popular President among black Americans since Lincoln freed the slaves.

Does your family encounter any tension in the African-American community over this, or do they represent a subcultural pocket of anti-Obama blacks that I haven't been aware of?

[Trepa Mayfield]

I wish. If the Trilateral Commission really did team up with the Illuminati and the Reverse Vampires to bioengineer this virus and wipe out humanity as we know it, they failed miserably. It's treatable with Tamiflu, fer chrissakes. And most of the deaths have been shown to mainly be the result of crappy Mexican healthcare.

Question: The second sentence--is that serious or not? Because I remember you said *something* about vampires...or was it demons?...and I can't tell whether or not it's exaggeration.

Totally agree with the rest of it though.

[Half Man Half Wit]

Well, there was a thread on here just yesterday about how it's the apocalypse (atheist apocalypse was the precise term used, didn't even know we'd get our own), and how it's tied to Nostradamus' predictions, all of which was addressed to PZ Myers for some not quite obvious reason, but of course, now that thread is gone... :dubious:

I wish. If the Trilateral Commission really did team up with the Illuminati and the Reverse Vampires to bioengineer this virus and wipe out humanity as we know it, they failed miserably. It's treatable with Tamiflu, fer chrissakes. And most of the deaths have been shown to mainly be the result of crappy Mexican healthcare.
That's of course what they want you to think, but I just hung out on Above Top Secret for a couple of wild and crazy minutes, where I was promptly informed that the true epidemic approaching is, in fact, a mass Tamiflu poisoning (http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread459675/pg1)! Presumably, swine flu was just a, shall we say convenient, reason to get everybody to take it.

[monavis]

I have had a couple of people tell me the Apocalypse is emminent, I tell them to study History and see how many times people have thought that their generation was the apocalypse generation, and to read Matthew chapter 16, Jesus is quoted as saying: He would return in His glory with all his angels and that some who were standing there would not die until it happened. Then ask themselves if maybe John was hallucinating or not.

I know some people do not think that when Jesus is supposed to have said:"This generation will not pass away until all things have been accomplished", think the word generation has a different meaning. Of course that is their right and if it helps them to believe it I see no harm in it.