Let's Update Commercials I Hate

[Mooch]

I want to cut the butts off of the Cricket phone people. Seeing adolescents perform craptastic Aretha Franklin impressions of Otis Redding's "Respect" in youtube-esque collages was the most annoying commercial I had seen in a long time - until I saw their new one which features a teen girl dancing on the dining room table singing the same overdone song while kicking shit at her parents.

I have no idea what the Cricket phone people do, but I don't want them doing it any more.

At no extra charge I will throw in a radio commercial: 1-877-Kars for Kids. Holy Christ the repetitiveness of this annoying jingle makes the vomitus rise in my throat and it has assured that I will never EVER donate my kar, truck or boat to them no matter how many kids it would help.

In case they thought I was on the fence about it, the jingle now comes in "rock" and "reggae" versions further solidifying my "not helping kids" stance.

Where's the Tylenol?

[norinew]

Lionel Coin Bank!
Lionel Coin Bank!
Lionel Coin Bank!

Holy fuck on a stick, it's almost annoying enough to make the Head On! commercials seem appealing!

[Hippy Hollow]

I want to cut the butts off of the Cricket phone people. Seeing adolescents perform craptastic Aretha Franklin impressions of Otis Redding's "Respect" in youtube-esque collages was the most annoying commercial I had seen in a long time - until I saw their new one which features a teen girl dancing on the dining room table singing the same overdone song while kicking shit at her parents.

I have no idea what the Cricket phone people do, but I don't want them doing it any more.

Absolutely, this is the commercial which I hate the most (currently). The teen randomly gets up and climbs on the table - unprovoked - kicking a glass of water at her dad (who miraculously catches it). The dancing is so awkward and random, I can't stand it. And I don't get the "respect" theme. I get "freedom" - if they chose a song about that it would make sense, because you're ostensibly free to call/text whenever and to whomever you choose. And I get the "respect" theme in response to the CSA on the phone giving you crap. But what did the parents do to have their bratty little spawn traipse on their dining table?

[mobo85]

Lionel Coin Bank!
Lionel Coin Bank!
Lionel Coin Bank!

Holy fuck on a stick, it's almost annoying enough to make the Head On! commercials seem appealing!

The most disturbing thing is not the Children of the Corn saying the name of the product over and over but the grandpa crotch, as made clear in this remix (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo-yf6Rkfeg).

[Shark Sandwich]

There's a commercial for a wireless carrier (Verizon, Sprint, or somebody) where there's a family in an ice cream shop, and they show a cup of ice cream with a few candy sprinkles on it, which are supposed to represent the number of callers that the "other guys" allow you to call free of charge. Then the dad grabs a big container of the sprinkles, and dumps it on the ice cream, which represents how many callers this carrier allows you to call.

This commercial makes my skin crawl. And it has nothing to do with the acting, or how the product is presented. It's only because of that big pile of sprinkles. That's it. And I'm not a clean freak or anything, but I need to turn the channel when this commercial comes on.

[norinew]

The most disturbing thing is not the Children of the Corn saying the name of the product over and over but the grandpa crotch, as made clear in this remix (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo-yf6Rkfeg).
Heh. Believe it or not, this is the first time I've seen this commercial. Previously, I've just heard it because I'm working at my desk in the dining room while one of my kids has the TV on in the next room!

Generally, when this commercial comes on, I make them either change the channel or mute the TV, since the commercial makes me all stabby and stuff.

Creepy, creepy, creepy.

[MadTheSwine]

The Mega Cheetos commercials,or any other commercial, that shows a close up of shoving food in a mouth.Specially when I am eating.

And the one with ...I think it was Speed Stick deordorant.. that asks "Whats your pit style?" Not an imagine I want to think of.

[teela brown]

My first cross-post!

Have you see that new Prius commercial? The car is driving around a planet which is completely coated with squirming people in different colored costumes, representing grass, flowers, rivers, etc. It's towing a "sun" which is also wriggling with (yellow) people.

God, it's nightmarish! It makes me think of Larry Niven's short story Bordered In Black, wherein an entire continent is asquirm with wall-to-wall people. Or that episode of Star Trek, when Kirk gets a glimpse of the horrifically crampacked, overpopulated planet through a window. It must touch a phobia somewhere inside me.

I hate this commercial. And yet when it comes on, I stare with gobsmacked horror and nausea. What's wrong with me?

[LurkMeister]

There's a commercial for a wireless carrier (Verizon, Sprint, or somebody) where there's a family in an ice cream shop, and they show a cup of ice cream with a few candy sprinkles on it, which are supposed to represent the number of callers that the "other guys" allow you to call free of charge. Then the dad grabs a big container of the sprinkles, and dumps it on the ice cream, which represents how many callers this carrier allows you to call.

This commercial makes my skin crawl. And it has nothing to do with the acting, or how the product is presented. It's only because of that big pile of sprinkles. That's it. And I'm not a clean freak or anything, but I need to turn the channel when this commercial comes on.

Am I the only one who thinks that when the dad says "Then these ..." he sounds like Bullwinkle ("Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat")?

[panache45]

Joseph! A! Banks! One! Day! Sale! Every! Suit! Or! Sport! Jacket! Buy! One! Get! One! Free!

[Tangent]

[munchkin voice, singing] Yippee-I-Yaay! Mini-Sirloin Burrrgerrrrs! [/munchkin voice]

That song is such an earworm for me and I can't stand it!

[salinqmind]

Captain Morgan Rum. I hate every braying jackass in every obnoxious commercial. Not to mention that a bottle of same has been found in the wreckage of half the drunk driving crashes around here, according to a friend who's a cop.

Subway Five Dollar Foot Long Song n' Dance. I know they want to impress the concept of Foot Long Sandwiches For Five Dollars, through endless repetition, upon Us. So I see an endless parade of amateurish doofuses belting out some inane and unmemorable jingle like they're auditioning for Broadway.

[Tangent]

Oh, and another one is a deodorant commercial that's been playing before movies at my nearest theater. It's about a guy who sweats profusely from his armpits. As in, when he lifts his arm a gushing fountain of sweat spews from his pits and soaks whomever is standing within five feet.

Yeechhh!

[runner pat]

"You're not thinking with your dipstick, Jimmy!"

I'd like to take a baseball bat to his dipstick, jimmy, willie and any other body part I can mash into a bloody smear.

[Renz]

CRICKET (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE36CxYFz2I) is very annoying I will agree.

[salinqmind]

Soccer mom driving a bunch of kids in car, breaks out singing the lamest 'song' in the history of TV commercials, squirming like she's peeing her pants, while kids look on silently in horror... "I WANNA GO TO FRIENDLYYYYYYYS....WOOOO!" (I've done the same thing, but singing along to a great song, not a greasy spoon ad!) I want to smack her one and tell her to Shut. Up. and drive.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

I hate every commercial Geico has put out, that I can immediately think of. Fucking gecko. He was fine before he started speaking. Now I'm extra pissed that he's still appearing in commercials despite the recent one with that guy doing a "trust exercise" and apparently falling and crushing him. How I envisioned his demise with a grin many a time.

Cell phone commercials also rarely don't make me want to stab someone.

Actually, most commercials at all make me want to stop someone.

Except Flo. ;)

[mobo85]

Fucking gecko. He was fine before he started speaking.

The gecko has always spoke- in his very first appearance, he commented on how he was irritated that people confused him for Geico. (Seeing as he appears to work for the company now, I assume he no longer has that problem.)

[Covered_In_Bees!]

In that case, I've always hated him. :p

[voguevixen]

It's only because of that big pile of sprinkles. That's it.

Seriously! The blissed out kid just goes "You want whipped cream?" I'd be sayin' "I am NOT cleanin' that shit up!"

The one really getting my goat lately is for (I think) the prescription pain reliever Lyrica where a woman describes how much it helps with her fibromyalgia pain and out of nowhere says "And it's NOT an anti-depressant!" WTF? Why would it be? And god forbid someone should be on an anti-depressant! The way it's phrased and crammed in there for no reason is really surreal.

[shy guy]

Seriously! The blissed out kid just goes "You want whipped cream?" I'd be sayin' "I am NOT cleanin' that shit up!"
As someone who worked in an ice cream parlor in college, I keep hoping for a version of that commercial where the mother and children look on in helpless horror as the employee beats the husband to death with an ice cream scoop.

Another I really, really hate is this abomination (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IZ9CL4phPk&feature=related) for Multi-Grain Cheerios that they show on TLC all the time. Firstly because it just looks bizarre, like it was all Photoshopped or done in green screen or something.

Secondly because it doesn't end with Steve dousing his heinous bitch of a wife with holy water and watching the harridan dissolve into a puddle of goo.

*Edit: And had I looked at the YouTube info for that commercial, I would have learned that the ad is a dubbed and Photoshopped version of a British commercial. Wtf?

[Meyer6]

Another I really, really hate is this abomination (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IZ9CL4phPk&feature=related) for Multi-Grain Cheerios that they show on TLC all the time. Firstly because it just looks bizarre, like it was all Photoshopped or done in green screen or something.

Secondly because it doesn't end with Steve dousing his heinous bitch of a wife with holy water and watching the harridan dissolve into a puddle of goo.

*Edit: And had I looked at the YouTube info for that commercial, I would have learned that the ad is a dubbed and Photoshopped version of a British commercial. Wtf?

I swear I remember seeing this with the original British accents about a year ago, then it mercifully disappeared, only to reappear with this weird dubbing. The dubbing and photoshopping seems really inexpertly done too - is General Mills that hard up that they can't afford decent dubbing?

Also, that guy needs a divorce STAT. His wife is the touchiest bitch in the world.

[Troy McClure SF]

I'm continually impressed by how stupid Taco Bell commercials are. Even with their demographics, if you're stoned enough to find those commercials funny, you're too stoned to find the front door.

Those "Drinkability" ones are up there, too.

"It's drinkability!"
"What's drinkability?"
"[something that makes even less sense than the word 'drinkability']!"

[Magiver]

There's a commercial for a wireless carrier (Verizon, Sprint, or somebody) where there's a family in an ice cream shop, and they show a cup of ice cream with a few candy sprinkles on it, which are supposed to represent the number of callers that the "other guys" allow you to call free of charge. Then the dad grabs a big container of the sprinkles, and dumps it on the ice cream, which represents how many callers this carrier allows you to call.

This commercial makes my skin crawl. And it has nothing to do with the acting, or how the product is presented. It's only because of that big pile of sprinkles. That's it. And I'm not a clean freak or anything, but I need to turn the channel when this commercial comes on. Yes, I feel the same way. I want to hand the guy a broom.

In a different category I hate the antiperspirant commercials on now. One shows a stuntman on a bike doing the "double pits" maneuver. If that wasn't retarded enough the lady "interviewing" him rubs the microphone under his armpit and then smells it. It could not get any more phallic the way she cuddles the microphone.

The other one is the guy who has water pouring from his armpits like a fire hydrant. That’s just gross.

[jasonh300]

Oh, and another one is a deodorant commercial that's been playing before movies at my nearest theater. It's about a guy who sweats profusely from his armpits. As in, when he lifts his arm a gushing fountain of sweat spews from his pits and soaks whomever is standing within five feet.

Yeechhh!

This can now be seen on TV, and I mentioned this in a similar Pit thread.

This is as bad as a "Depends Adult Diapers" commercial with an incontinent person urinating all over the people around him.

[Cuckoorex]

This can now be seen on TV, and I mentioned this in a similar Pit thread.

This is as bad as a "Depends Adult Diapers" commercial with an incontinent person urinating all over the people around him.

Actually I think that would work as an SNL skit if Will Ferrell was still on the show.

[CalMeacham]

My first cross-post!

Have you see that new Prius commercial? The car is driving around a planet which is completely coated with squirming people in different colored costumes, representing grass, flowers, rivers, etc. It's towing a "sun" which is also wriggling with (yellow) people.

God, it's nightmarish! It makes me think of Larry Niven's short story Bordered In Black, wherein an entire continent is asquirm with wall-to-wall people. Or that episode of Star Trek, when Kirk gets a glimpse of the horrifically crampacked, overpopulated planet through a window. It must touch a phobia somewhere inside me.

I hate this commercial. And yet when it comes on, I stare with gobsmacked horror and nausea. What's wrong with me?


I agree -- I was telling Pepper Mill a couple of days ago that these commercials freak me out. It's not the Bordered in Black reference -- it's how those people dressed in plant costumes (and bee costumes, and what have you) make everything of the wrong dimensions and aspect ratios. And the way they move and squirm around -- it makes me think of some sort of animal mimic, the king you see on National Geographic specials, which ties back into that "wrong dimensions" meme -- THAT's why the dimension are wrong! It's a Plant-Imitating Spder Catcher or something. As soon as the spider comes into the scene, the innocent-looking plant rapidly turns on it, sticks out its fangs, and snaps it up.

Only it's an entire planet made up of meat-eating plant mimics! The first time those bee-things land, or come within reach of those pseudo=plants, they're lunch!


It gives me the creeps just thinking about it!

[C. Montgomery Burns]

There's a beer commercial that has been running constantly on WGN lately that has two goofy mobsters offering "protection" to some doofus. The doofus doesn't understand what the mobsters mean. And the mobsters respond to every misunderstood threat with "Ooooooh!". The fact I can't even tell you what the product is tells you what a stupid commercial it is.

[Magiver]

Secondly because it doesn't end with Steve dousing his heinous bitch of a wife with holy water and watching the harridan dissolve into a puddle of goo.
I had forgotten that one. Yes, and make it Sam Kinison throwing the holy water on her.

[tumbleddown]

The one really getting my goat lately is for (I think) the prescription pain reliever Lyrica where a woman describes how much it helps with her fibromyalgia pain and out of nowhere says "And it's NOT an anti-depressant!" WTF? Why would it be? And god forbid someone should be on an anti-depressant! The way it's phrased and crammed in there for no reason is really surreal.
A certain class of anti-depressants has been widely used for their analgesic properties for ailments including fibromyalgia and chronic migraine. They can work, but there are a number of side effects, mainly the fact that as anti-depressants, they interfere with brain chemistry.

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

"You're not thinking with your dipstick, Jimmy!"

I'd like to take a baseball bat to his dipstick, jimmy, willie and any other body part I can mash into a bloody smear.

That one just came on right now.

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

My brother would like to add the smarmy guy who says, "I love three things: my voice, recordings of my voice, and Optimum Voice". Talk about self-centered.

[FairyChatMom]

I suppose I'm the only person in the country who can't stand Flo. I just want to poke her with something pointy and painful.

I also hate Steve's wife - he deserves better.

In fact, I hate all commercials that make men out to be idiot twits and women to be tolerant saints. Like the guy on the ladder whose bitch wife uses the vacuum cleaner to rescue him... And others so horrid I've managed to temporarily block them out.

[Unauthorized Cinnamon]

There's a commercial for some auto insurance company with a lady talking about their cool phone apps.

"So let's say you run into a tree. We have an app that lets you [blah de blah de blah], and this app lets you exchange information with the other driver . . ."

The driver of the . . . tree?

[Covered_In_Bees!]

I just want to poke her...

You'll find that you're not the only one who wants to poker her with something. :D

You and us (Flo lovers) have something in common after all.

[norinew]

I suppose I'm the only person in the country who can't stand Flo. I just want to poke her with something pointy and painful.

I also hate Steve's wife - he deserves better.

In fact, I hate all commercials that make men out to be idiot twits and women to be tolerant saints. Like the guy on the ladder whose bitch wife uses the vacuum cleaner to rescue him... And others so horrid I've managed to temporarily block them out.
The problem is, I want to hate Flo. I really do! But somehow, I can't. She's just too damned. . .likeable. I dunno.

But dittos on the commercials that make all men out to be morons, and the women the "rescuers" of said men. If the roles in these commercials were all reversed, NOW would totally be up in arms!

[BrotherCadfael]

"Poke her with the Soft Pillows!"

[Spectralist]

I swear I remember seeing this with the original British accents about a year ago, then it mercifully disappeared, only to reappear with this weird dubbing.

I thought it was a pretty good commercial with the accents. I don't generally expect to hear foreign accents on a commercial so when it pops up it makes turn and pay attention, presumably that's what they want. I would love to know what went on in the meeting where they decided to dub it.

[chacoguy]

Fuck Shell gasoline! You cannot turn ::Giving someone a Peace Sign:: into shilling for your fucking "V-Power" gas, whatever that is.

Next time steal the Catholics ::Making the Sign of the Cross:: for your T-Power gas! or
Steal the Marine Corps Salute for.....forget it; they probably would fucking kill you. (or at least stop letting their guys get killed protecting your sources in the Middle East.)

[Khan]

I agree -- I was telling Pepper Mill a couple of days ago that these commercials freak me out. It's not the Bordered in Black reference -- it's how those people dressed in plant costumes (and bee costumes, and what have you) make everything of the wrong dimensions and aspect ratios. And the way they move and squirm around -- it makes me think of some sort of animal mimic, the king you see on National Geographic specials, which ties back into that "wrong dimensions" meme -- THAT's why the dimension are wrong! It's a Plant-Imitating Spder Catcher or something. As soon as the spider comes into the scene, the innocent-looking plant rapidly turns on it, sticks out its fangs, and snaps it up.

Only it's an entire planet made up of meat-eating plant mimics! The first time those bee-things land, or come within reach of those pseudo=plants, they're lunch!


It gives me the creeps just thinking about it!

I just figured this one out this weekend. I'd seen it a bunch of times and thought it was CG or something, but then I saw a face. The music sounds unnatural too; kinda reminds me of the music in that scene from Akira when the toys attack him in his hospital room.

I'll add the commercial for "Whale Wars." I hate the fact that Animal Planet gives legitimacy to that histrionic crank and his crew of incompetent hippies. Greenpeace is hardly a puppet of the fishing industry, so I think the fact that they booted him out of the organization speaks volumes about his credibility. More to the point, the whole "Whaling... ends TODAY!" line in the commercial is made all the more ludicrous by the fact that 1.)they suck and 2.)all they manage to do is harass a handful of Japanese "research" vessels.

[shy guy]

Come to think of it, the Multi-Grain Cheerios commercial I hate so much is similar to an ad that pops up during tax time every year where the wise and sassy wife berates her husband for (gasp) buying tax-preparation software instead of going to H&R Block or whatever. She, too, tells him to consult the box and tell her what it says.

Makes my skin crawl.

Generally, gender roles in commercials for certain products are just fucked up. Women become smug harpies and men doddering neanderthals. Blargh.

[Unauthorized Cinnamon]

Antidote to the dumb husband ads: the cellphone commercial where the wife answers her phone: "Oh, it's your butt - hi Butt . . ." and so on, and tells the husband to buy a new flip phone to end butt-dialing. And he bounces his butt on the couch and says, "My butt just hung up on you." At least there, it's two people ribbing each other, not the smart wife berating the dumb husband.

[Wheelz]

In fact, I hate all commercials that make men out to be idiot twits and women to be tolerant saints.Dopers of a certain age might remember this one:

Moronic Hubby (shakes sleeping wife): "Barbara, you up?" (shakes harder) "Barbara, you up?"
Barbara: "I'm up now!"
MH: "I don't think I can sleep with this cold. My throat's kind of sore!"
Babs (sighs and climbs out of bed): "I'll get the aspirin and Sucrets!"

Even at 8 years old I wanted to punch this asshole in the face.


Currently, the one I can't stand is for some internet provider demonstating how fast their service is: "A rabbit... bred with a leopard... on ice... shaved... strapped to a jet engine..." and so on... It just creeps me out for some reason.

[norinew]

Dopers of a certain age might remember this one:

Moronic Hubby (shakes sleeping wife): "Barbara, you up?" (shakes harder) "Barbara, you up?"
Barbara: "I'm up now!"
MH: "I don't think I can sleep with this cold. My throat's kind of sore!"
Babs (sighs and climbs out of bed): "I'll get the aspirin and Sucrets!"

Even at 8 years old I wanted to punch this asshole in the face.



Oh, hells, yes! I remember this one! There are times in our marriage that my husband or I have been sick enough to wake one another up in the middle of the night (with me, it's kidney stones; if I wake him up at 3AM and say "get me drugs", he knows exactly what I mean!), but believe me, neither of us would wake the other up for a freakin' cold. I think if he woke me up and said "I don't think I can sleep with this cold", I'd have to say "Well, fine, but why don't you go lay on the sofa so you don't keep me awake". That would work both ways, too.

[rjk]

Not all ads feature the smart woman/dumb guy style. I don't watch TV, but there's a site called flash-game.net that plays ads between levels, and they have a couple of ads featuring a condescending male 'expert' showing women how to get stuff clean. There's a "Bleach Accidents Support Group" and a visit to the laundromat, and it might be the same guy telling his wife how to get the carpet clean before her mother comes to visit.

There's also a woman with her daughter in a filthy washroom who is really offensive.

[norinew]

Not all ads feature the smart woman/dumb guy style. I don't watch TV, but there's a site called flash-game.net that plays ads between levels, and they have a couple of ads featuring a condescending male 'expert' showing women how to get stuff clean. There's a "Bleach Accidents Support Group" and a visit to the laundromat, and it might be the same guy telling his wife how to get the carpet clean before her mother comes to visit.

There's also a woman with her daughter in a filthy washroom who is really offensive.
I haven't seen these, but certainly have no reason to question you!
But whatever the case may be, can't we just, y'know, end sexism, in any direction, once and for all?

Please?

PS: I'm not asking you, personally, rjk, I'm sure you're fine. But really, Word to all the marketing 'geniuses' out there: dude, your prejudice is showing.

[Johnny Q]

Dopers of a certain age might remember this one:

Moronic Hubby (shakes sleeping wife): "Barbara, you up?" (shakes harder) "Barbara, you up?"
Barbara: "I'm up now!"
MH: "I don't think I can sleep with this cold. My throat's kind of sore!"
Babs (sighs and climbs out of bed): "I'll get the aspirin and Sucrets!"

Even at 8 years old I wanted to punch this asshole in the face.

.

More like aspirin and a sledgehammer.
"Can you sleep now, honey? Damn, now I have to sleep on the wet spot."

[chitchat]

Jamie lee Curtis and her "Biffidus Regularis" What a phony made up word...Everyone of these commercials make be kind of want to barf

[KneadToKnow]

Restasis (http://www.restasis.com/video/video.htm) eye drops commercial makes me stabby.

(warning: linky opens straight to video)

"A prescription?!? What do I have?!?"

You have dry eyes, you moron!

[Sampiro]

All the damned "Cash for gold" commercials; was just one company but now there's more. What I really don't understand is who would put their "unwanted" gold in an envelope and send it to a company and completely trust their appraisal.

Another "amen, enough already" to anything GEICO. If they'd quit paying so much for airtime then maybe they really would be able to save you money, though I've not known anybody who called them (myself included) who found their policy was less by a significant enough amount to switch for and usually it was the same as or higher. (Trivia: Kelsey Grammer was meant to be the voice of the lizard, but it was filmed during a SAG strike [or writer's strike] so they went with an English actor who wasn't in a union.)

[planetcory]

(Trivia: Kelsey Grammer was meant to be the voice of the lizard, but it was filmed during a SAG strike [or writer's strike] so they went with an English actor who wasn't in a union.)

Actually, Kelsey Grammer was the voice in the earliest commercial. Then it switched a distinguished-sounding British guy. Then it switched to its current Cockney version.

I'm fine with the gecko and the googly-eyed pile of money, but the cavemen wore their welcome out a long long time ago. I was surprised to see brand new terrible cavemen commercials still coming out in recent weeks.

[bink]

A friend of mine did this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Mgne1gQjbo), which may help some of the Geico-haters, particularly if you also watched the World Cup or any other soccer on television in 2006.

[SpasticKitty]

Actually, Kelsey Grammer was the voice in the earliest commercial. Then it switched a distinguished-sounding British guy. Then it switched to its current Cockney version.


I hate that gecko's stupid Cockney accent. Kelsey Grammer was much more pleasant to listen to.

I'm glad there are others out there who hate the Verizon ice cream sprinkles commercial as much as I do. I think the what enrages me most about this commercial is the pussified reaction of the stoned-looking guy behind the counter after the douchenozzle dad dumps the container of sprinkles all over the counter. WTF?? I worked in an ice cream store in high school, and I would have gone insane if some customer pulled that shit with me.

And some of the higher-ups at Verizon must think this commercial is oh-so-clever because I see it all the time! IT'S NOT FUNNY :mad:

[rjk]

I haven't seen these, but certainly have no reason to question you!
But whatever the case may be, can't we just, y'know, end sexism, in any direction, once and for all?

Please?

PS: I'm not asking you, personally, rjk, I'm sure you're fine. But really, Word to all the marketing 'geniuses' out there: dude, your prejudice is showing.

I didn't take it personally! In fact, I find both kinds of ads annoying. (Unless they can make the stereotype funny, but that's not very frequent.)

[shy guy]

I don't know that I hate this commercial, but it does disturb me.

It's the Emerald Nuts commercial where the guy is drowsy and accidentally opens the emergency door on the airplane when he tries to go to the bathroom.

It's supposed to be funny, but all I can think about is that the guy and the poor stewardess who also gets sucked out of the plane are falling to their deaths while some douche offers them Emerald Nuts on the way down.

[BigT]

Jamie lee Curtis and her "Biffidus Regularis" What a phony made up word...Everyone of these commercials make be kind of want to barf

It's a trademarked word. That's how they get by saying that only their product has it. By law, no other yogurt can use that name.

Still, it should have to have the TM or SM beside it. As it is, it's pretty sneaky.

[John DiFool]

What? No mention of Quiznos' gay oven? Makes me want to rip out my eardrums.

[Dob]

I freakin HATE that ass hat in the E-Harmony (I believe) commercial where he is talking to his girlfriend at some bar and says "I promise not to take myself to seriously". Oh my freakin god... I can't count the levels that douche-ness that is that statement.

Oh, and any commercial where they tout "secret programs that credit card companies dont want you to know about!" WTF? The only secret is that your an idiot if you believe that. FTR, there is nothing, NOTHING, any debt company can do for you that you cant do for yourself. And I just know the people buying into this crap are people who have already proven they ain't good with their money! Its such a shame...

[KneadToKnow]

I freakin HATE that ass hat in the E-Harmony (I believe) commercial where he is talking to his girlfriend at some bar and says "I promise not to take myself to seriously". Oh my freakin god... I can't count the levels that douche-ness that is that statement.

What about the middle-aged hockey player whose girlfriend knows his "stick side"? That's gold, Jerry. Gold!

[Dung Beetle]

I'm fine with the gecko and the googly-eyed pile of money, but the cavemen wore their welcome out a long long time ago. I was surprised to see brand new terrible cavemen commercials still coming out in recent weeks.

I saw a new caveman commercial just this morning…and smiled, fondly remembering the one where the Geico rep takes the cavemen out to dinner. One caveman orders the duck with the mango salsa, the other caveman acts like a giant prick. That’s one of my favorite commercials ever, but apparently they’re not going to rise to that level again.

The pile of money thing was never any good, but I get hooked by the absolute freakiness of the people in them. Especially, “Musta been following you for miles. Looks tired.” Brrrr. My skin crawls, but I watch.

[stargazer]

The new McDonald's iced coffee commercials drive me NUTS. The ones that show people doing various unpleasant things without the coffee drink, looking unhappy (voiceover: "Chore.") and then with the coffee drink, looking happy (voiceover: "Choré.") Other examples are "Commuté" "Cubiclé" and "Shuttlé." I hate them.

[Typo Knig]

What? No mention of Quiznos' gay oven? Makes me want to rip out my eardrums.

You mean the commercial that's gayer than Stewie-heavy episodes of Family Guy and all of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy combined? Oh yeah, I hate that one.

Another one is the car commercial with the "Cub Scouts" and the "Pinewood Derby". But they don't have the boys in real Cub Scout uniforms - BSA has been known to sue over that sort of thing. So instead of a fake Scout uniform, or a sash, or identical t-shirts, the producers put the boys in Brownie Vests. :smack: :eek: :rolleyes: So wrong, so very wrong.

Cartoon Network/Adult Swim has endless repeats of the World's Worst Commercial for When Your Wife is Sleeping - the one for GameFly/GameTap/NetFlixGames/WhateverTheBleepThetCallIt where idiots are screaming at the tops of their lungs (over bad computer games) during the ENTIRE spot. It makes for a long thirty seconds. Dental work long. I usually find the mute button on the remote *just* as the ad finishes up. :mad: Whoever wrote that ad should have a colicky baby in their house every night forever. In hell. In the part of hell next to the refineries. With jackhammers.

And every Land of the Lost promo I see makes me *less* likely to see the movie. That's mostly a reflection on the quality of the product.

[elfkin477]

My first cross-post!

Have you see that new Prius commercial? The car is driving around a planet which is completely coated with squirming people in different colored costumes, representing grass, flowers, rivers, etc. It's towing a "sun" which is also wriggling with (yellow) people.

God, it's nightmarish! It makes me think of Larry Niven's short story Bordered In Black, wherein an entire continent is asquirm with wall-to-wall people. Or that episode of Star Trek, when Kirk gets a glimpse of the horrifically crampacked, overpopulated planet through a window. It must touch a phobia somewhere inside me.

I hate this commercial. And yet when it comes on, I stare with gobsmacked horror and nausea. What's wrong with me? Just the commerical I was coming to talk about tonight. I find it deeply disturbing, and I wish they'd stop showing it. It's the cheerful version of the Black Hole of Calcutta!

[Finagle]

One I despise is the battery commercial where the little kid wanders away and "suddenly everything depends" on the batteries in the kid locater working. Or, you know, the mother could look around. The commercial just reinforces the whole societal paranoia we have in which every other person must be a child molester or mass murderer.

[Khan]

What? No mention of Quiznos' gay oven? Makes me want to rip out my eardrums.
I think the department of public health would be interested in that particular franchise. ;)

I saw that commercial again tonight and, with the porn titles thread in mind, came up with a title for a Quizno's-themed porn: "Jizz-'mo's man sandwich."

[Jeep's Phoenix]

One I despise is the battery commercial where the little kid wanders away and "suddenly everything depends" on the batteries in the kid locater working. Or, you know, the mother could look around. The commercial just reinforces the whole societal paranoia we have in which every other person must be a child molester or mass murderer.
Something is massively wrong in that commercial. The child appears to be about 6 years old or so -- old enough to walk around on his own for extended periods, anyway -- yet the mother is hauling an apparently empty stroller around. The area she's in appears to be pretty flat; just how fast can the child move, anyway?

Also, I get a kick out of how the mother carefully repacks her purse and the stroller before going to find the wandering kid.

[KneadToKnow]

Also, I get a kick out of how the mother carefully repacks her purse and the stroller before going to find the wandering kid.

Oh, that's because, you know, she trusts those batteries.

[Unauthorized Cinnamon]

Something is massively wrong in that commercial. The child appears to be about 6 years old or so -- old enough to walk around on his own for extended periods, anyway -- yet the mother is hauling an apparently empty stroller around. The area she's in appears to be pretty flat; just how fast can the child move, anyway? While there doesn't appear to be an actual baby in the commercial, it's clear to me that the mom character is meant to be attending to a baby in the stroller, which is why she doesn't catch the older kid wandering off, and why she brings the stroller with her retrieve the 6 y.o.

The really off thing is the mom happily hugging the wayward child. Real parents would have that look of happy relief for 2 seconds, then run up and shake the kid and yell at him for wandering away to get a frickin balloon, when he should know better!

[Kalhoun]

I hate every commercial Geico has put out, that I can immediately think of. Fucking gecko. He was fine before he started speaking. Now I'm extra pissed that he's still appearing in commercials despite the recent one with that guy doing a "trust exercise" and apparently falling and crushing him. How I envisioned his demise with a grin many a time.

Cell phone commercials also rarely don't make me want to stab someone.

Actually, most commercials at all make me want to stop someone.

Except Flo. ;)

Love the gecko.
Flo needs to GO.

Creepy Burger King needs to go.

[maladroit]

anything with singing, especially freecreditreport.com, subway, and hillshire farms. The one exception is the one where the guy is throwing the pizza crust - is that a credit card commercial? I don't even know, I'm mezmerised by the guy's skills. The song about mambo italiano whatever.

[maladroit]

The new McDonald's iced coffee commercials drive me NUTS. The ones that show people doing various unpleasant things without the coffee drink, looking unhappy (voiceover: "Chore.") and then with the coffee drink, looking happy (voiceover: "Choré.") Other examples are "Commuté" "Cubiclé" and "Shuttlé." I hate them.


I forgot about this one, hate it too, And wendy's has an equally annoying commercial for umm some frozen coffee/frosty thing.

[Dung Beetle]

anything with singing, especially freecreditreport.com, subway, and hillshire farms. The one exception is the one where the guy is throwing the pizza crust - is that a credit card commercial? I don't even know, I'm mezmerised by the guy's skills. The song about mambo italiano whatever.

I'm always thinking, "No way I'm eating pizza that rolled over that guy's sweaty neck."

[Typo Knig]

Nike: Shoes for asthmatic puppet children that don't know when the shut the hell up. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA7WQKmaaak&feature=related) Specialized shoes for a specialized customer base? :rolleyes:

BTW, I don't go to YouTube often. Is it common for videos to have the word "funny" in their title when they are not in the same time zone as "funny"? I watched a few of the "puppet Kobe and LeBron" ads, and only one changed my expression from :-| to the tiniest smile. That's a couple minutes of my life I am not getting back.

[Cuckoorex]

Nike: Shoes for asthmatic puppet children that don't know when the shut the hell up. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA7WQKmaaak&feature=related) Specialized shoes for a specialized customer base? :rolleyes:



Just saw this one last night for the first time...I was thinking to myself, "Does Nike WANT me to hate them?"

[Beware of Doug]

Flo needs to GO.Judging from the undersexed vibe she gives out, what Flo really needs is to come.

In other, possibly old news*, the Talking Babies of eTrade (http://www.spike.com/video/etrade-talking/3104799) are back, and they've multiplied (http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/2009/01/etrades-talking-baby-is-ready-to-rise-again.html).

Hate hate hate. And hate BABIES! The market does terrible things to a man's soul.

*I only just returned to the day-trading belt after a year in the Potbelly of America, so the ads are new to me.