Neighborhood war coming.

[gonzomax]

Some new people moved in 3 doors away. The day after garbage day, one of my cans was missing. The next week ,they had the same can. It is one of the black ones with wheels. But they did not get the lid. So I have one can and 2 lids. They put out one can, no lid. It has the same sticker ,from the same store that we got ours.
My wife is determined to reclaim it next Thursday. I do not think her suspicions rise to the level of proof. I see war when she grabs it.
So I double pit. I pit my wife for acting on a lower thresh hold than i would. I pit people who steal garbage cans.

[Dave_Enn]

I lost a can to one of those neighborhood bandits, then I noticed -everyone has their cans chained up. Now I know why.

[Anne Neville]

We're planning to paint our house number on our garbage can. We lost the first one we got, either to thieves or to the wind.

ETA: Dave_Enn, do you live in a windy or rural area? Wind or animals might be two plausible reasons other than thieves that people would chain up their garbage cans.

[c_goat]

Wow if my neighbors were that strapped for cash they felt the need to steal my garbage can I'd just let them have it. Plus I'm a firm believer in "pick your battles". So far I've never actually had to pick one :)

[MovieMogul]

We're planning to paint our house number on our garbage can. We lost the first one we got, either to thieves or to the wind.
The OP can take the can back and paint the house # on the bottom (underneath). That way, you can claim it was always there and offer it as proof as to how there's no way it can be their "missing" can. Do the same for all your other cans as well, natch.

[legalsnugs]

Give them the lid. It'll put them on notice that you know they have the can. Then get a new can and mark it HUGELY with your address on both lid and can. They'll know they're not fooling anybody and, in the off-chance that they did not take your can, you'll be the kind neighbor who gave them a lid for their lidless can.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Give them the lid. It'll put them on notice that you know they have the can. Then get a new can and mark it HUGELY with your address on both lid and can. They'll know they're not fooling anybody and, in the off-chance that they did not take your can, you'll be the kind neighbor who gave them a lid for their lidless can.

You know, that's EXACTLY what Aslan would say to do. I mean that as a compliment, by the way.

[Furious_Marmot]

Amateurs.

Wait until you are sure they aren't home. Throw a brick through the bedroom window, followed by a sack filled with several dozen large spiders. Make sure the sack isn't tied shut. By the time they get home, the spiders will have scattered and hidden themselves. After a few encounters with your 8-leggged minions, the new neighbors will sell the house at a loss just so they don't have to sleep there anymore. Then you can reclaim your trash can at your leisure.

Also, am I the only one who imagined a Rorshach diary entry from Watchmen while reading the OP?

[Cat Fight]

The OP can take the can back and paint the house # on the bottom (underneath). That way, you can claim it was always there and offer it as proof as to how there's no way it can be their "missing" can. Do the same for all your other cans as well, natch.

I second this tactic. They'll likely be too embarrassed to confront you or your wife. And if it happened the way I think (you say it went missing the day after garbage day, or after the garbage was picked up?), they may have just adopted it as their own out of laziness (and yes, some dickishness, too). Better to let passive aggression simmer for a few years than to start things off with a shouting match or something.

[Dinsdale]

Yeah, if the OP occurred to me, next garbage day I'd go out in the middle of the night and dump their trash out of my can onto their lawn or driveway. (That is, assuming they put their trash out the evening before.)

The idea of painting the address on the bottom is a good addition. Only possible problem would be if the trashmen tend to leave the emptied cans upside down as ours sometimes do.

I'm curious abut the OP - especially the bit "they did not get the lid." Do you suppose they took the can during the day after they were emptied but before you and your wife got home? I'm trying to figure out how a theif could be so incompetent to steal the can but neglect to take the lid. And of course they deserve the criticism of competent theives everywhere for not stenciling THEIR address on the can after stealing it! :p

[Telemark]

I was sure a neighbor stole my garbage can once. Mine was missing and they had the same type, same color, same sticker. But mine had blown into the back yard. And there are only a few types of garbage cans and a few stores to buy from so about 20-30% of the garbage cans I see would have been a match. I often don't put the cans out with the lids because the lids can blow away.

So don't be so sure they stole yours. You might ask them if they found the can in their yard. There's always time to start a war later.

[ivylass]

I guess we're lucky...our garbage cans are provided by the town. When the wheels broke on ours we just exchanged it. Kind of silly to steal a neighbor's can when 1)They're all the same and 2)You get them free as part of the garbage service.

[Harmonious Discord]

I used to be located where the wind blow almost all lose objects during a windy day. I got about 4 garbage cans a year in my yard. Ask them if they found the can or purchased it. You know where to go with this if they found it.

[Vinyl Turnip]

I'm curious abut the OP - especially the bit "they did not get the lid." Do you suppose they took the can during the day after they were emptied but before you and your wife got home? I'm trying to figure out how a theif could be so incompetent to steal the can but neglect to take the lid.

The can was just a test run. The lid is the real caper.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

Just keep throwing your trash away in it. If they give you hell, shoot 'em. Or tell them to fuck off and steal it back later and put into action some of the amazing ideas presented here. I like Furious Marmot's suggestion for the record. :D

[Bad Samaritan]

We have a large city provided 90 gallon trash container. One day a few years ago, I went out to get it from the curb and noticed it had different scuff marks on it and a large split in the side that wasn’t there. I’m pretty sure my shitstain neighbor traded us. My wife was pissed and wanted to trade back, but I let it go. It functions just as well with the split and besides it’s not really even ours anyway.

They prolly don’t know I was spraying Roundup over the wall onto their newly planted tree and shrubs in the back corner…

[Freudian Slit]

You know, that's EXACTLY what Aslan would say to do. I mean that as a compliment, by the way.

Really? Because I think he'd say, "DUDE! I'm a talking lion." Also, "What's a homeowner's association?"

[gonzomax]

My wife is an over filler. The lid rarely fits on. We put it out without the lid more than half the time.
She will confront them.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

Hey, that's your neighbor's problem if you enact my suggestion.

Another option if they give you hell, is to tell them, "Well, we would have appreciated you asking if you could borrow our trashcan, but it's still not too far away for us to throw our own stuff away too."

Or something.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Really? Because I think he'd say, "DUDE! I'm a talking lion." Also, "What's a homeowner's association?"

Fool of a Took Marsh-wiggle!

Aslan is Jesus, and Jesus is God, and God is omniscient, so Aslan is omniscient. Obviously he knows what a homeowner's association is.

[Savannah]

They prolly don’t know I was spraying Roundup over the wall onto their newly planted tree and shrubs in the back corner…

Perfect username - post combination.

[jayjay]

Fool of a Took Marsh-wiggle!

Aslan is Jesus, and Jesus is God, and God is omniscient, so Aslan is omniscient. Obviously he knows what a homeowner's association is.

On the other hand, HOAs were obviously invented by The Other Guy, so Aslan (and the EAtS) may KNOW of them but not really be familiar with them.

[Skald the Rhymer]

On the other hand, HOAs were obviously invented by The Other Guy, so Aslan (and the EAtS) may KNOW of them but not really be familiar with them.

The Other Guy's a contractor. The Emperor over the Sea is the architect.

Nobody goes into Narnia unless Aslan is calling them, after all. And yet Jadis was there THE FIRST DAY.

[missouri65]

I took mine back once. I lived in an apartment in a neighborhood of small apartment buildings. There was some heavy wind on garbage day, and the cans were strewn all around the neighborhood. When I came home, my lid was by the street, but my can was gone. I picked up my lid and figured that I'd have to pick up a new can that week. The next morning, I noticed that one of the apartments at the next building had a maroon can with a blue lid. I was pretty sure mine had been the only maroon can in the immediate vicinity. When I came home from work, I walked over to their place, took their lid off, and took my can home. It was completely filled with cans. I was nice enough to take their garbage with me rather than dumping it on the ground in front of their door. I always figured they must have had a party and didn't want a house full of beer cans.

I probably would have handled it differently if I had been living somewhere I intended to stay or if it hadn't been so blatantly obvious that they knowingly took my can.

[Freudian Slit]

Fool of a Took Marsh-wiggle!

Aslan is Jesus, and Jesus is God, and God is omniscient, so Aslan is omniscient. Obviously he knows what a homeowner's association is.

Hehe. Fool of a Marsh-wiggle. :)

[Skald the Rhymer]

Hehe. Fool of a Marsh-wiggle. :)

Yeah, I'm officially retiring Fool of a Took in Puddleglum's favor.

[mnemosyne]

We've had our recycling bin stolen, despite our address being on it. A little further down the street, there is a bin with a giant black scribble in the area for the address. We simply walked the two blocks to the place where the city gives them away for free and got another one.

I'm contemplating the value of waging war against my asshat neighbours, who put their garbage bags out on the curb on Sunday nights, when the garbage is collected on Tuesday and Friday evenings. Various animals invariably tear the bags apart and we end up with garbage strewn all over the street every week. I'd consider just shoving it all through their mailbox, but they share a door (indoor staircase to two units) with other neighbours, and I don't think that's fair to the nice ones!

[XT]

I guess we're lucky...our garbage cans are provided by the town. When the wheels broke on ours we just exchanged it. Kind of silly to steal a neighbor's can when 1)They're all the same and 2)You get them free as part of the garbage service.

Same boat here...our trash cans are provided by the pick up service (we get a really big trash can and several recycling cans...all designed so that the trash truck can automatically pick them up with those big robot arms). I have to admit that I have never had a trash can stolen previously though...I guess I just don't live in the kinds of neighborhoods where it would occur to anyone to do so. :p

-XT

[mnemosyne]

Hmmm....I post to this thread yesterday, and today discover that our second (and last) recycling bin has been stolen. WTF?

[Arkcon]

Same boat here...our trash cans are provided by the pick up service (we get a really big trash can and several recycling cans...all designed so that the trash truck can automatically pick them up with those big robot arms). I have to admit that I have never had a trash can stolen previously though...I guess I just don't live in the kinds of neighborhoods where it would occur to anyone to do so. :p

-XT

Ah yes, but people still take them. The lady across the street lost hers, and her neighbor suddenly had two ... yeah you can get them for free, but you have to go and pick up extras, which was too much work for some people, apparantly. And they all have serial numbers on them, so it's obvious, and yet, they take 'em. Bizarre.

Which is nothing compared to what happened next. On a hot summers day, they took the trash out of anothers can, to take it, and put it in front of their house, they gave it a quick rinse, then filled it with water and got in. I was warming up to tell the kids that that was ... just unwise, when the mother came out -- to playfully dunk them. In a trash can filled with water. Shudder.

[XT]

I must just run with a less wild and crazy crowd. Drive by shootings? Yeah, seen that. But stealing free garbage cans?? Not in my (obviously sheltered) experience...

-XT

[billfish678]

If the can was made by the Sky Net Plastics Corporation I would just let it slide...

[Cat Fight]

On a hot summers day, they took the trash out of anothers can, to take it, and put it in front of their house, they gave it a quick rinse, then filled it with water and got in. I was warming up to tell the kids that that was ... just unwise, when the mother came out -- to playfully dunk them. In a trash can filled with water. Shudder.

That sounds like something out of Gummo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gummo).

[Birdmonster]

That sounds like something out of Gummo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gummo).
Great date movie.

[mswas]

Give them the lid. It'll put them on notice that you know they have the can. Then get a new can and mark it HUGELY with your address on both lid and can. They'll know they're not fooling anybody and, in the off-chance that they did not take your can, you'll be the kind neighbor who gave them a lid for their lidless can.

Yeah, that's a pretty badass solution.

[Morbo]

ETA: Dave_Enn, do you live in a windy or rural area? Wind or animals might be two plausible reasons other than thieves that people would chain up their garbage cans.

Out of curiosity, how do the garbage folks empty cans that are chained up?

[gonzomax]

My wife just said, that tomorrow we put the garbage out. Thursday after they pick it up, she is going to go get our can.

[Isamu]

Someone steals my garbage can and that garbage can will have its bottom cut out, wheels superglued to the axel and greasy thick oil spread on the handles.

It's war baby! Bring it on!

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

I live in an 18-unit townhouse condo complex, and I've had a garbage can go missing a couple of times.

In both cases it was a next-door neighbor's kid or visiting boyfriend who brought it into the adjoining unit by accident. In both cases it was returned with embarrassed apologies when I knocked on the miscreant's door and politely inquired.

I've now got my unit number spray-painted prominently on both can and lid, and now it never roams, except when the wind is strong and all the plastic garbage cans go frolicking down the driveway.

[Harmonious Discord]

Hmmm....I post to this thread yesterday, and today discover that our second (and last) recycling bin has been stolen. WTF?

That's priceless.

[Gyrate]

We have a large city provided 90 gallon trash container. One day a few years ago, I went out to get it from the curb and noticed it had different scuff marks on it and a large split in the side that wasn’t there. I’m pretty sure my shitstain neighbor traded us. My wife was pissed and wanted to trade back, but I let it go. It functions just as well with the split and besides it’s not really even ours anyway. Are you sure the trash guys didn't return the containers to the wrong houses? The people who empty the recycling in our neighbourhood basically just throw the emptied bins back in the general direction of the houses they belong to.

[Anne Neville]

Out of curiosity, how do the garbage folks empty cans that are chained up?

I have no idea (I was wondering the same thing myself). I don't chain our garbage can.

[mswas]

Man stealing a can from your neighbor is stupid. Can't you steal a can from a few cul-de-sacs down? Then no one would ever know.

[gonzomax]

It is actually 3 doors down. They just moved in and needed a can. They saved themselves a shopping trip and about 35 bucks.

[Dave_Enn]

Out of curiosity, how do the garbage folks empty cans that are chained up?

In NYC, we have to line the can with a 39 gallon trash bag, which is removed and put out on the curb on collection days.

[Bad Samaritan]

Are you sure the trash guys didn't return the containers to the wrong houses? The people who empty the recycling in our neighbourhood basically just throw the emptied bins back in the general direction of the houses they belong to.

We don't have trash guys. We have a trash guy in a truck with an arm on it. He pulls up, extends the arm, picks up the bin, and dumps it, all from the comfort of his cab. For him to swap bins with the next door neighbor, he would have to pick up my bin, drive it down to the neighbor, set it down, pick his up, back up to my house, and set it down. I'm pretty sure he's not getting out of the cab for anything like that.

It's all pretty efficient actually, especially for a gov't operation. These guys must be paid by the bin and mile though -because they haul ass when they're emptying bins, and then they seem to drive some choregraphed route through the neighborhood for no reason. For example, the trash truck comes down my street on trash day, flies around the cul-de-sac, and then leaves without picking anyone's trash, yet he goes to the next street and I hear him dumping bins over there. Then a little while later he leaves the neighborhood, after driving some streets and emptying others. Then... he's back again a few hours later to finally dump our bins. In the meantime, a green waste truck does our street run even though no one on the street has the required green barrel. This same routine happened in our old neighborhood except the trash truck passed the house a few times before dumping our bin. It makes no sense to me.

[wintertime]

From an onlooker’s point of view, the tit-for-tat approach suggested by Furious_Marmot, Bad Samaritan and Isamu has a certain appeal; in a week or two, the rising mushroom cloud will not just tell us why your last post was a size 7 Muawhawhaw, it will also – and more importantly - engage us in numerous threads for weeks to come: the literary gifted will give us chilling accounts of the days before, the pyromaniac will ask how you managed to get your hands on weapons-grade plutonium, while the politicos will explain to us that this is all Obama’s fault .. no, that of Bush.

Hmmmm ...

[Morbo]

In NYC, we have to line the can with a 39 gallon trash bag, which is removed and put out on the curb on collection days.

So....what's the point of the cans? Wouldn't you just have somplace indoors with a large bin, then carry the bag to the street?

[Chimera]

Black permanent marker.
Bottom of the can (outside).

Either that or a perimeter triggered improvised explosive device that will detonate the can if it is removed more than 100 feet from where it should be.

[little*bit]

So....what's the point of the cans? Wouldn't you just have somplace indoors with a large bin, then carry the bag to the street?

The point of the cans is to keep strays & vermin from ripping open the bags and spreading garbage all over the front yard. I discovered this the hard way.

[XT]

...Can't we all just get along...?

-XT

[Furious_Marmot]

So....what's the point of the cans? Wouldn't you just have somplace indoors with a large bin, then carry the bag to the street?

Two problems with indoor trash:

Dwellings in NYC tend to be expensive per square foot and therefore small. A 39 gallon trash bin would take up a fair amount of already limited space.

Some people produce a lot of trash, which could become terrifically smelly or attract vermin. Better for such things to happen outside.

[mnemosyne]

I got a new recycling bin today. The form even had a checkbox for "stolen" under the reasons why I needed a new one. 2/10 addresses on the form I signed had indicated stolen, the rest were all "new to the neighbourhood".

I can't find any Sharpies, though.

[that_darn_cat]

When moi and I moved to Baltimore we bought 2 new galvanized 35 gallon trash cans and chained them by their handles to the fire escape, with the intent of only leaving a single large trashbag in each for the trash guys to pull. The douchebag on the 1st floor prompty moved out, filled our cans with loose trash including a variety of soiled sex toys and left the lids off to fill with rain. After 2 weeks of the trash guys refusing to dump this mess, I got a shovel and filled trashbags. Problem solved.

Right.

The next week after the trash guys came, someone ripped the handles off our cans and took them.

Bastards.

So I went to Home Depot, bought the cheapest plastic trash can they had and two cans of spray paint. I took the can home, beat the snot out of it and sprayed it liberally with profanity.

Never stole my can again.

[gonzomax]

I was a big failure. The culprits did not put out any trash this week. My wife was waiting and got all disappointed.

[XT]

You could try nuking them from orbit, just to be sure...

-XT

[descamisado]

Someone steals my garbage can and that garbage can will have its bottom cut out, wheels superglued to the axel and greasy thick oil spread on the handles.

It's war baby! Bring it on!Amateur. Everybody knows you smear dog shit on the bottom of the handles. That'll learn 'em.

Actually, to the OP, if you do have to get a new can (and it's not provided by your municipality or service), HOLE-PUNCH your house number on the can and the lid (use a nail gun or hammer and nails. That way, they can paint over it.

[descamisado]

What I meant to say:That way, they can't just paint over it.

[XT]

You could try sneaking into their house late at night and putting a severed horse head in their bed...

I bet they won't even THINK about taking your trash can again after that!

-XT

[Shodan]

You could try sneaking into their house late at night and putting a severed horse head in their bed...

I bet they won't even THINK about taking your trash can again after that!

-XT
Nah, they would just stuff the head into your trash can.

Regards,
Shodan

[Zsofia]

I was a big failure. The culprits did not put out any trash this week. My wife was waiting and got all disappointed.
People moving into a house didn't have trash to put out?

[CaveMike]

I was a big failure. The culprits did not put out any trash this week. My wife was waiting and got all disappointed.Your neighbors are Dopers. They know your every move!

[Chimera]

Yup, and next week I'll put out their can with my address written on the bottom with a permanent marker.

[XT]

SSSHHHHH!

(I was going to put super glue on the handles...drat, if it wasn't for you meddling kids....!!!)

-XT