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HeyHomie
07-09-2009, 10:55 AM
Inspired by this thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=523858), what is the funniest one-time-only SNL sketch (that didn't involve recurring characters)?

The all-time funniest SNL skit, hands-down, has to be "More Cowbell," which is apparently on neither Youtube nor Nbc.com.

Bonus: the all-time funniest thing ever said on "Weekend Update": "Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal announced their engagement. They're registerd at Craate and Baarrell."

monster
07-09-2009, 11:02 AM
Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze as auditioning Chippendale dancers. Makes me laugh every time.

Gordon Urquhart
07-09-2009, 11:07 AM
The "Buckwheat Has Been Shot/Buckwheat Is Dead" sketch (it was in multiple parts, but it had to be) was brilliant.

cmkeller
07-09-2009, 11:16 AM
Funniest has to be the William Shatner "Get a Life" sketch. Second best, IMHO, was the 1992 presidential debate between Bush I, Clinton and Perot. There's a shot at the end of that one where Bush is looking at Clinton and seeing a pot-smoking hippie, Clinton is looking at Bush and seeing a Church Lady, and both of them looking at Perot and see a munchkin from the Wizard of Oz - brilliant, insightful AND funny.

Funniest Weekend Update line - The setup - Joe Biden pulled out of the race for the 1988 Democratic nomination due to accusations of plagerism. A few months later, Gary Hart, who had pulled out due to an adultery scandal, returned to the race. Dennis Miller's line: Gary Hart re-entered the presidential race, saying, "Let's let the people decide." A few hours later, Joe Biden re-entered the race, saying "Let's let the people decide."

My favorite Weekend Update line, though not what anyone would consider the funniest, was also by Dennis Miller (can you tell what age range I'm in? Sorry...): "This week, the People's Republic of China announced that its population has reached one billion people. Do you realize how big a billion people is? That means that even if you're a one-in-a-million kind of guy, there's still a thousand of you walking around out there."

Hampshire
07-09-2009, 11:27 AM
Larry's Corner from back on 10/8/83.

Brad Hall was the host of a talk show and decided rather than having a celebrity guest he would have some of his old high school friends on the show.
Eddie (Tim Kurzinsky) - The guy who would drink anything.
Dale- The guy who when drinking milk and laughing the milk would come out of his nose.
Jimmy- The guy who could make fart noises under his arm.

Larry (Brad) introduces them and welcomes them to the show. Dale starts drinking a glass of milk, Jimmy starts making fart noise, milk starts coming out of Dale's nose, Eddie uses the glass to catch the falling milk and drink it, hilarity ensues, Eddie bypasses the glass and gets down on his knees to catch the milk coming out of Dale's nose directly into his mouth.

I also remember this skit ending by being immediately interupted for the "Buckwheat has been shot" story but it appears my memory is wrong.

Munch
07-09-2009, 11:28 AM
Bonus: the all-time funniest thing ever said on "Weekend Update": "Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal announced their engagement. They're registerd at Craate and Baarrell."

Sarsgaard was a host one week. There was a great skit where he was the guest speaker at a pirate convention ("What's your favorite restuarant - is it Aaaaarby's?" "What kind of socks do you like - aaaaargyle?"). Then he did a fake commercial for his own brand of surgical mask - the Peter Saarsgard SARS Guard.

Left Hand of Dorkness
07-09-2009, 11:37 AM
There was an episode with Jim Carrey and another famous impersonator (Rich Little, maybe?) on a talk show. Except that Jim Carrey was played by a regular cast member, and Rich Little was played by Jim Carrey. At some point the fake Jim started mocking the fake Rich, so Jim-as-Rich started impersonating Jim Carrey, at which point the fake Jim Carrey started impersonating Rich Little as impersonated by Jim Carrey. It was wonderfully strange. (I may have misremembered many of the details of it--I just remember being astonished by its cleverness).

Push You Down
07-09-2009, 11:40 AM
Sly Stallone as a retarded computer salesman. Tim Meadows and Will Farrell are the straight men.

It makes me lose my shit just thinking about it.

thirdname
07-09-2009, 11:48 AM
There was an episode with Jim Carrey and another famous impersonator (Rich Little, maybe?) on a talk show. Except that Jim Carrey was played by a regular cast member, and Rich Little was played by Jim Carrey. At some point the fake Jim started mocking the fake Rich, so Jim-as-Rich started impersonating Jim Carrey, at which point the fake Jim Carrey started impersonating Rich Little as impersonated by Jim Carrey. It was wonderfully strange. (I may have misremembered many of the details of it--I just remember being astonished by its cleverness).I think it was Jimmy Stewart, not Rich Little. It was on "The Jow Pesci Show."

Skywatcher
07-09-2009, 11:50 AM
Bernadette Peters as Betty Boop. :D

friedo
07-09-2009, 11:58 AM
For some reason I can't explain, Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals (http://www.hulu.com/watch/37753/saturday-night-live-mark-wahlberg-talks-to-animals) makes me cry with laughter every time.

"Now I'na talk to a dawnkey!"

Jettboy
07-09-2009, 12:00 PM
I loved the one with Christian Slater (I think) and some other dude where they were selling all sorts of exotic art stash boxes. "You put your weeeed in it..."

RealityChuck
07-09-2009, 12:00 PM
The Slumber Party" (http://www.hulu.com/watch/4255/saturday-night-live-slumber-party) sketch.

Almost as good: The Last Voyage of the Starship Enterprise. (http://www.hulu.com/watch/19313/saturday-night-live-star-trek---the-last-voyage-of-the-starship-enterprise)

TommyTutone
07-09-2009, 12:10 PM
Three come to mind:

Men's Synchronized Swimming - Harry Shearer and Martin Short star in a documentary about trying to get onto the MSS Olympic team even though no such team exists yet. Chris Guest plays a very Guffman dance instructor. Unfortunately finding the full version is proving elusive: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4122944961711350389

Jackie Rogers Jr.'s $100,000 Jackpot Wad - Martin Short again with Jim Belushi as Captain Kangaroo and Billy Crystal as Sammy Davis Jr. Right up there with Celebrity Jeopardy as my favorite game show. It looks like any video remnants are gone of this.

Massive Head Wound Harry - Dana Carvey is at a party with a nasty huge open head wound. The hijinks ensue when a dog finds a tasty snack of his brain. This is at least on Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/watch/4155/saturday-night-live-massive-head-wound-harry

Horatio Hellpop
07-09-2009, 12:17 PM
Morning talk show with Will Ferrell and David Allan Grier. They lose their TelePromTer feed and quickly descend into Lord of the Flies-style savagery.

Sharon Stone getting strip-searched at an airport. This was, like, 15 years ago when Sharon Stone was really someone people wanted to see naked. I am a bad person for enjoying this scene. I don't care.

FoieGrasIsEvil
07-09-2009, 12:17 PM
I'm kinda partial to the SNL fake commercials. I always liked this one, Turlington Tattoo Remover.



http://www.guzer.com/videos/snl_tattoo_removal.php

"That tingling lets you know it's working!"

Astroboy14
07-09-2009, 12:31 PM
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball!

Don Draper
07-09-2009, 12:34 PM
Offhand, I'd say one of the funniest one-time bits that stays with me would be Phil Hartman's "Sassy Boys!" talk show.

jsc1953
07-09-2009, 12:35 PM
I absolutely do not get the love for the More Cowbell sketch. I've seen it multiple times, and just stare blankly.

So I'll vote for the gay beer commercial.

Sitnam
07-09-2009, 12:37 PM
"That parrot is a liar!"

Maus Magill
07-09-2009, 12:43 PM
Larry's Corner from back on 10/8/83.

Brad Hall was the host of a talk show and decided rather than having a celebrity guest he would have some of his old high school friends on the show.
Eddie (Tim Kurzinsky) - The guy who would drink anything.
Dale- The guy who when drinking milk and laughing the milk would come out of his nose.
Jimmy- The guy who could make fart noises under his arm.

Larry (Brad) introduces them and welcomes them to the show. Dale starts drinking a glass of milk, Jimmy starts making fart noise, milk starts coming out of Dale's nose, Eddie uses the glass to catch the falling milk and drink it, hilarity ensues, Eddie bypasses the glass and gets down on his knees to catch the milk coming out of Dale's nose directly into his mouth.

I also remember this skit ending by being immediately interupted for the "Buckwheat has been shot" story but it appears my memory is wrong.
Seconded!

No written description can do this justice. Even twenty-six years later, I'll think of this sketch and laugh.

I think Dale was Gary Kroger.

jk1245
07-09-2009, 12:45 PM
The Chippendale's one is up there.

They had a skit on the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings that was an all-timer. The discussion leads from Thomas' various harassment allegations to favorite porn films, what types of porn are best for seducing women, general hook-up tips (Hartman as Ted Kennedy: "Another way is to get them out on your boat, because then, well, they can't get away") and ends with Long Dong Silver as a character witness.

Also "Dysfunctional Family Feud" again with Hartman as patriarch of a seething family, and Christian Slater as the rebellious oldest son. Each answer was met with a sarcastic "Oh, Good answer" and pathetic clapping. One question was "Name something you might find in your closet?"

Oldest son: "A gun"
Dad: "You don't have the guts, punk"
Son: "No, no, it's there, you'll see."

Daughter's (Victoria Jackson, I think) answer: "My Daddy"
Dad: Nervous shuffling and trying to laugh it off

Plus a bunch of other lines I don't remember. Great stuff

In my list of greatest skits ever, I would bet Hartman is in 75-80% of them. :(

Thudlow Boink
07-09-2009, 12:48 PM
The Nude House of Wacky People (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/89/89enude.phtml)

Satan's Mystique (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93lsatan.phtml): set in Hell, with Patrick Stewart as Satan and David Spade, Norm McDonald, and Rob Schneider as his sarcastic underlings

The Census (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/99/99pcensus.phtml) (hulu (http://www.hulu.com/watch/4165/saturday-night-live-census-taker)): Census worker Tim Meadows interviews Christopher Walken at his surrealistic best.

Oakminster
07-09-2009, 12:48 PM
I'm kinda partial to the SNL fake commercials. I always liked this one, Turlington Tattoo Remover.



http://www.guzer.com/videos/snl_tattoo_removal.php

"That tingling lets you know it's working!"

I liked Bass-o-matic and Donuts.

corkboard
07-09-2009, 12:51 PM
Morning talk show with Will Ferrell and David Allan Grier. They lose their TelePromTer feed and quickly descend into Lord of the Flies-style savagery.

See, I'd have voted for this one as one of the All-Time Worst SNL One-Off Sketches.

My vote for the best would be the Chris Farley motivational-speaker-guy ("In a van, down by the river!"). I think there are a few of these but the one I'm thinking of is when a mom & dad ask him to come to their house to talk some sense into their kids, one of which is played by David Spade. Farley's doing his thing and Spade can't contain his laughter, & then Farley does a belly flop onto the coffee table. Good stuff.

ETA: And, I just realized that since this was a running skit, it breaks the rule of the thread. Ooopsies.

Hampshire
07-09-2009, 12:52 PM
Seconded!

No written description can do this justice. Even twenty-six years later, I'll think of this sketch and laugh.

I think Dale was Gary Kroger.

I always remember Brad Hall yelling "Dale! Dale! No, no Dale!"

Cliffy
07-09-2009, 12:54 PM
My favorite from (somewhat) recent times -- Queen Latifah pitching Excedrin for Racial Tension Headaches.

--Cliffy

GargoyleWB
07-09-2009, 01:18 PM
This one was what is normally a throw-away later sketch in the show, but Christopher Walken as the gardener who puts googly eyes on plants had me laughing harder than anything in recent memory.

Kingspades
07-09-2009, 01:23 PM
Massive Head Wound Harry - Dana Carvey is at a party with a nasty huge open head wound. The hijinks ensue when a dog finds a tasty snack of his brain. This is at least on Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/watch/4155/saturday-night-live-massive-head-wound-harry
My vote for the best would be the Chris Farley motivational-speaker-guy ("In a van, down by the river!"). I think there are a few of these but the one I'm thinking of is when a mom & dad ask him to come to their house to talk some sense into their kids, one of which is played by David Spade. Farley's doing his thing and Spade can't contain his laughter, & then Farley does a belly flop onto the coffee table. Good stuff.
What is so funny about these sketches is when the performers start cracking up. It's those rare "this show is live" moments that to me are the most memorable and the funniest.

The Second Stone
07-09-2009, 01:24 PM
Jingleheimer Junction.

Tangent
07-09-2009, 01:25 PM
Some of these being mentioned aren't one-off sketches, but recurring ones.

Anyways, the Farley/Swayze Chippendale dance-off is hard to beat.

Amy Poehler's Sarah Palin rap was pretty awesome--especially when the fake Todd Palin shows up in a snowmobile outfit. And I totally lose it when she shoots the moose.

I remember a funny Aliens parody they did, with Dennis Miller as the android lying cut-in-half on the floor gushing fluids, and at the end the marines all unload their weapons on the alien that is about to step out of the elevator and it turns out to be... E.T.

There was also an old sketch where a character (Dana Carvey?) is putting on some Chapstick and his friend says "Oh, Chapstick! Can I use it?" He obviously is grossed out by the idea, but he reluctantly lets his friend use his chapstick. As the skit progresses, characters with progressively more disgusting mouths keep walking by before he can put it away and ask to use his chapstick, including a dirty homeless guy, a prostitute with sores on her mouth, and culminating with an alien who beams down and has large, disgusting, blistery lips.

Another one I remember from those days: It was the first time I had ever seen Penn and Teller and they did a whole sketch where gravity seemed to be reversed--everything 'fell" upward. It was all very clever and of course at the end it's revealed that both they and the camera were hanging upside down the whole time.

Justin_Bailey
07-09-2009, 01:33 PM
The funniest one-off is without a doubt the Chippendale's tryout. There's no contest.

Bonus: the all-time funniest thing ever said on "Weekend Update": "Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal announced their engagement. They're registerd at Craate and Baarrell."

That's not even the funniest thing ever said about their engagement. After he proposed, Sarsgaard went off somewhere to film Jarhead. Which lead to this line in a magazine interview:

"After I got engaged, the first thing I did was hang out in the desert for a month naked with her brother."

kaylasdad99
07-09-2009, 01:34 PM
Massive Head Wound Harry - Dana Carvey is at a party with a nasty huge open head wound. The hijinks ensue when a dog finds a tasty snack of his brain. This is at least on Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/watch/4155/saturday-night-live-massive-head-wound-harry"I think he smells my dog!"

:D

ArizonaTeach
07-09-2009, 01:35 PM
What is that?

What is that thing?

What is that?

Oh! I know what it is...

...

...

What the hell is that?

hotflungwok
07-09-2009, 01:42 PM
Mr. & Mrs. T's Bloody Mary mix. Watching Mr. T standing behind Jane Curtin in a bald wig trying and failing not to laugh killed me.

Richard Pryor & Chevy Chase interviewing a janitor & word association.

My favorite moment in the Weekend Update has to be back when Anti French hysteria had us renaming French Fries as Freedom Fries, and their line was ' In a related story, in France, American cheese is now referred to as idiot cheese.'

HeyHomie
07-09-2009, 01:44 PM
There was a recent episode that had a sketch with Zac Effron and Andy Samberg going to a bar that was rumored to not check ID's. After some banter with the bartender, Samberg says "The crowd here does look a little young." And the camera cuts to a scene of three pre-teen children at a table, knocking back shots.

Later in the sketch...

[Bartender brings two drinks to ZE & AS]
AS: We didn't order these.
Bartender: They compliments of a couple of ladies. Be careful, those ladies are gerbils?
ZE: Gerbils? What are gerbils?
Bartender: They're the opposite of cougars.
Camera cuts to two pre-teen girls, smiling and waving at the guys.

RandMcnally
07-09-2009, 01:46 PM
My favorite is the bush/gore debate from the 2000 election.

"lockbox."

MsWhatsit
07-09-2009, 01:47 PM
The "Colombian Crystals" sketch, which was a take-off of those commercials where they replace restaurant patrons' regular coffee with Folger's, or whatever. They go up to interview Chris Farley, and tell him that they've replaced his regular coffee with "Genuine Colombian Crystals" coffee... and he goes COMPLETELY APESHIT. It ends with this tableau, with his arms outstretched as he bellows in rage, and his wife kneeling at his feet weeping, and people running away in the background. (Edited to add: I found a link to this (http://www.esnips.com/doc/bd2c8cf2-be66-4868-81cf-1e3dfdbcbf46/Chris%20Farley%20-%20Columbian%20Coffee%20Crystals).)

I cannot remember ever laughing as hard as I did at this sketch.

My favorite Weekend Update line, by the way, was one of Tina Fey's, right after 9/11. I looked it up online because I couldn't remember it word-for-word:

"On Monday, Attorney General John Ashcroft issued a terrorism warning asking all Americans to be on high alert this week. Then on Friday he announced that the period of high alert will be extended indefinitely. I think I speak for all Americans when I say: Bitch, I can't BE any more alert than I already am! Okay, I'm opening my mail with salad tongs, I take my passport into the shower with me. I'm watching so much CNN I'm having sex dreams about Wolf Blitzer. How 'bout this: you be on full alert. I'm gonna freeze my head like Walt Disney, and you can wake me up when everything's cool. Okay?"

Push You Down
07-09-2009, 01:52 PM
I remember a funny Aliens parody they did, with Dennis Miller as the android lying cut-in-half on the floor gushing fluids, and at the end the marines all unload their weapons on the alien that is about to step out of the elevator and it turns out to be... E.T.


"Okay.. we'll say he was drunk" -puts bottle of booze in dead ETs hand " and waving a gun around." -puts pistol in dead ETs other hand.

Dana Carvey as Bill Paxton "It's game over man!"

tds1273
07-09-2009, 01:56 PM
I think it was Jimmy Stewart, not Rich Little. It was on "The Jow Pesci Show."

Yep, good episode all around. Carrey and Meadow's 'hot-tub life guard' sketch was also hilarious.

RickJay
07-09-2009, 02:07 PM
IT's hard to top the Chippendales sketch.

I always had a soft spot as MC Hammer as Wilt Chamberlain in "Remembrances of Love." "She was number 12,419. But in my heart, she was number one... thousand, seven hundred and eighty-six."

Munch
07-09-2009, 02:40 PM
Jingleheimer Junction.

Winner.

http://www.videosift.com/video/Jingleheimer-Junction

dwc1970
07-09-2009, 02:46 PM
I loved the one where Phil Hartman was interviewing a scientist about the elements. He attempts to pocket a sample of gold, knocks over a sample of a very heavy element that falls off its pedestal and then through several floors below, and lifts the cover off of a radioaactive element and sets off an alarm, plus some other funny stuff.

"More Cowbell" is a classic.

I also liked the "If it isn't Scottish it's CRAP!" skit.

Oakminster
07-09-2009, 02:51 PM
Another yet unmentioned favorite--a spoof of Invasion of the Body Snatchers featuring hippies singing "The answer, my friend, is Ronald Reagan"---as the camera zooms out to show them all connected to pods.

silenus
07-09-2009, 02:54 PM
"Dead honky!" (http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=18318)

Hands down winner.

JohnT
07-09-2009, 03:02 PM
Phil Hartman as Reagan... one moment, lovable grandpa, next moment, Cold Warrior from Hell.

My wife and I, back when we started dating, had a bonding moment over a Dabney Coleman SNL sketch where he was a bitter HS football coach trying to get his team to come up with a new name and they kept on flubbing it with names like "The Flaming Envelopes". Then there was the commercial for the hypnotist which had a line we still repeat to each other, over 20 years later... "It was much better than Cats. I will see it again and again."

Morbo
07-09-2009, 03:11 PM
One of my all-time favorites: "Sincere Guy Stu." It featured a casual first date-type scenario, where you could hear what each person was thinking. At the end, Joe Montana, the roommate, walks in, and everything he's thinking is exactly what he says. The way this skit ended, and the way Joe Montana delivered the zinger, still cracks me up. I can't find a video, but here's (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86istu.phtml) the transcript.

I also enjoyed one with Phil Hartman as Trent Markham, Lung Doctor where it's set in the 50's and mocks their lack of knowledge about smoking. He informs the man that he's contracted the elusive "Lung Fever" while all the characters smoke constantly. Again no video I could find, but the transcript (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93emarkham.phtml).

Erdosain
07-09-2009, 03:18 PM
The Census (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/99/99pcensus.phtml) (hulu (http://www.hulu.com/watch/4165/saturday-night-live-census-taker)): Census worker Tim Meadows interviews Christopher Walken at his surrealistic best.

The Census is hands-down my favorite SNL skit ever. It's just perfect in every way. It builds slowly, has a great last line, and is uncannily suited for Mr. Walken's acting style.

Honorable mentions go to much of Alec Baldwin's work, including the doctor who mispronounces everything. But not Schweddy Balls. Ugh, that is so over-played. And, it's not close to being the best skit ever, but "Bobby McFerrin raped my grandmother!" is possibly the least-likely laugh line in history and still cracks me up today.

Cumberdale
07-09-2009, 03:20 PM
I absolutely do not get the love for the More Cowbell sketch. I've seen it multiple times, and just stare blankly.

I don't either. I only found it mildly amusing at best.

I like the lost ending to It's a Wonderful Life and Steve Martin singing King Tut.

Gangster Octopus
07-09-2009, 03:31 PM
I think the appeal of "More Cowbell" is just the way that Will Farrell plays it so over the top.

Amazing Timesavers (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93tsavers.phtml) with Heather Locklear and MIke Myers is a classic. (I can't find the video, link is to the transcript).

vandal
07-09-2009, 03:33 PM
For some reason I can't explain, Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals (http://www.hulu.com/watch/37753/saturday-night-live-mark-wahlberg-talks-to-animals) makes me cry with laughter every time.


This.

Haunted Pasta
07-09-2009, 03:39 PM
"Dick in a Box."

Another vote for "What the hell is that?" Steve Martin and Bill Murray. Classic.

Also, Roseanne Barr and Phil Hartman for MetroCard, a credit card advertising its supposedly excellent customer service. She's a snarky phone rep, he's a hapless customer who lost his wallet and needed a new card pronto. Transcript, (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/90/90mmetrocard.phtml) but really it needs video to do it justice.

Sir T-Cups
07-09-2009, 03:44 PM
"That parrot is a liar!"

This is what I came here to say. This was so funny.


I also wanna mention the first "Debbie Downer" with Lindsay Lohan as the host. The absolute funniest "the cast starts to laugh" moments in the entire run of the show. I can't find it on youtube, but oh lord is it funny.

Munch
07-09-2009, 03:45 PM
[ SUPER: "When you do only one thing, you do it better" ]

Customer #1: I needed to take the bus, but all I had was a five-dollar bill. I stopped by First Citiwide, and they were able to give me four singles and four quarters.

[ SUPER: "At First Citiwide Change Bank, We just make change" ]

Paul McElroy: We will work with the customer to give that customer the change that he or she needs. If you come to us with a twenty-dollar bill, we can give you two tens, we can give you four fives - we can give you a ten and two fives. We will work with you.

Customer #2: I went to my First Citiwide branch to change a fifty. I guess I was in kind of a hurry, and I asked for a twenty, a ten, and two fives. Their computers picked up my mistake right away, and I got the correct change.

[ SUPER: "Correct Change" ]

Paul McElroy: We have been in this business a long time. With our experience, we're gonna have ideas for change combinations that probably haven't occurred to you. If you have a fifty-dollar bill, we can give you fifty singles. [ SUPER: "We can give you fifty singles" ] We can give you forty-nine singles and ten dimes. We can give you twenty-five twos. Come talk to us. [ SUPER: "We can give you twenty-five twos" ] We are not going to give you change that you don't want. If you come to us with a hundred-dollar bill, we're not going to give you two-thousand nickels.. [ SUPER: "We're not going to give you two thousand nickels" ] - unless that meets your particular change needs. We will give you.. the change.. equal to.. the amount of money.. that you want change for!

[ SUPER: "At First Citiwide Change Bank, Our business is making change" ]

Bank Representative: That's what we do.

enalzi
07-09-2009, 03:58 PM
I've always been a big fan of Dana Carvey doing Bush's "Desert Storm" State of the Union Address, while Michael J. Fox was behind him as Dan Quayle, having a hard time figuring out when to give a standing ovation.

Cardinal
07-09-2009, 05:21 PM
I would love to see again the skit with Buck Henry in which one of the characters is living about 2 seconds in the future. He keeps reacting to things that are about to happen, to the confusion of the rest of the people. I saw this about 20 years ago on a UFH rerun, but never again. When will NBC let us see the pieces we want?

fiddlesticks
07-09-2009, 05:43 PM
I loved the one where Phil Hartman was interviewing a scientist about the elements. He attempts to pocket a sample of gold, knocks over a sample of a very heavy element that falls off its pedestal and then through several floors below, and lifts the cover off of a radioaactive element and sets off an alarm, plus some other funny stuff.

Oh man, I hadn't thought of that one in years, thanks. That was Phil Hartman doing an impression of Peter Graves and his "Discover" science show. I seem to remember other skits where Hartman did Graves but maybe I'm conflating MST3K.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86mdiscover.phtml

"The pedestal was too weak to hold the osmium, wasn't it, doctor?"

The_Peyote_Coyote
07-09-2009, 05:50 PM
Steve Martin singing "King Tut." I win.

robardin
07-09-2009, 05:50 PM
"More Cowbell", for me, derives a lot of yuks from me being very familiar for many years with the song "Don't Fear The Reaper" (a Classic Rock staple), but I had somehow never noticed that there was a cowbell being played. But now, I can never hear the song again without thinking of Will Ferrell going nuts, then his heartfelt plea, "Come on... How many other chances will I get, as a COWBELL PLAYER, to feature in a song?" And that inimitable Chris Walken intonation: "I got a fever. And the only cure... Is more COWBELL!"

"Dick In A Box" is a big winner too.

But, most of my SNL memories are from before 1990 (excuse me while I reapply the Ben-Gay). Two "single sketch" favorites not already mentioned are:

- "Return of the Iguana". Meek seeming Tim Kazurinksy and his wife go to some small Caribbean dive bar where he has a secret, and darkly passionate, history. "So, you've come back, Iguana!"

- A skit portraying a talk show host discussing how people "remembered exactly where they were when JFK was shot", and collected 3 middle-aged people to talk about it. The second guy talks about how he found out backstage of this very theater, when he was just passing by outside, and the host is amazed at the coincidence. He's deflated when it turns out he had only just found out as they were about to go on-air just now, from one of the other guests (the first guy). The third guy, of course, had not known and freaks out ("WHAT? Kennedy was shot?!"), but the 2nd guy is the one that really cracked me up.

Cardinal
07-09-2009, 05:51 PM
My ultra-nerd dad has calculated the biggest benefit you can get (affordably) from the USPS, and according to him, it's mailing Osmium.

He also calculated the mass lost per revolution of his car tires, so there's another clue about him...

Green Bean
07-09-2009, 08:06 PM
Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze as auditioning Chippendale dancers. Makes me laugh every time.See, I think that the thing that absolutely makes that sketch isn't Chris Farley. It's the way Patrick Swayze frames the whole thing. He plays it so perfectly straight. He dances so very earnestly, trying to win the place in the Chippendales. He treats Chris Farley as a serious competitor. Just check out the look on his face as he's pirouetting around. Patrick Swayze's actions create a context that makes Chris Farley's behavior hilarious. Without Patrick Swayze, the sketch would just be Chris Farley jumping around in tights.

For me, More Cowbell is merely #2. My favorite--Centaur Interview! Christopher Walken is interviewing a centaur (Chris Parnell) for a medical residency. It just slays me. "This interview...isn't about me."

Trick Rider
07-09-2009, 08:46 PM
I really liked the one (not sure about the name) where Eddie Murphy goes undercove as a white man. Not even because I feel it uncovers important social issues. It doesn't. I just crack up at the white people dancing to to raucous jazz music as soon as the lone black man gets off of the bus. I'll be damned if my friend didn't take it for the truth, though.

kjckjc
07-09-2009, 09:04 PM
My favorite of all time has to be Bill Murray in The Return of Hercules. The whole thing cracks me up, the voice dubbing, as well as the lines I still repeat all the time. "Give me six months to get in better condition", "I can not lift that boulder, perhaps a smaller one." "Lift with the legs Hercules" <-(my favorite) Here it is: Return of Hercules (http://www.fargotube.com/fargo/view.aspx?1317)

I also liked the commercial for Einstein Express. "When it absolutely, positively has to be there the day before yesterday."

And Eddie Murphy undercover as a white man really cracks me up. The walk, getting stuff for free, "Haha, silly negro."Eddie (http://www.snotr.com/video/422) Edit: Yeah...what he said...I type too slow.

Trick Rider
07-09-2009, 09:12 PM
Believe it or not, I saw that in English class. And yes, the whole class cracked up at the phrase "silly negro". Surprising, since these people would jump down your neck if you described your coffe as black.

Mehitabel
07-09-2009, 09:19 PM
From 1976: The Godfather Therapy (http://www.hulu.com/watch/4178/saturday-night-live-godfather-therapy) sketch with Belushi and Elliot Gould.

I was about to suggest the Samurai stuff with Belushi, but it was a series, as was "The wretched birth, miserable childhood, agonizingly painful adolescence, and appallingly vile and degrading death of Miles Cowperthwaite" with Michael Palin ending up aboard the good ship the Raging Queen.

Commercials: Little Chocolate Donuts, Crazy Eddie, Bass-o-matic.

voguevixen
07-09-2009, 09:27 PM
"White Like Me" is what I believe that Eddie Murphy skit is known as. A great one! "Haha Silly Negro" was a favorite catch phrase at my school (dangerous though it was) for a while after that.

Another Murphy skit I loved was "James Brown Celebrity Hot Tub": "YEOW! Too hot in the hot tub! Jump back - kiss myself! HOT TUB! Alright now - WHOO!"

Commercials: Schmidtt's Gay for sure and also: Adobe - the little car that's made out of clay. "Hey hey, we're Adobe... Adobe!" ("Coin and cupholders? Sure, we have those!" *they show someone mashing coins and cups into the clay dashboard, lol.*) "Uh-oh! Get in a fender bender? NO PROBLEM!" (time lapse of someone reshaping clay bumper, hahaha.)

There was also a hilarious camera commercial with Stevie Wonder and Joe Piscipo where they were playing tennis and it was like "the camera so easy - even Stevie Wonder can use it!" I found it here, still awesome: http://www.thebesttvcommercials.com/view_video.php?viewkey=77135b916ef286bcb49e

ETA: I originally said Bud Gay for some reason, but I'm pretty sure the name of the skit is "Schmidtt's Gay" or something.

JRDelirious
07-09-2009, 09:38 PM
"Somewhere between cleanliness and godliness lies Compulsion, the world's most indulgent disinfectant. From Calvin Kleen" -- Hartmann/Carvey/Hooks

Return of the Iguana - Oh, yes, absolutely!
Citiwide Change Bank - So absurd

And going back to the originals: LandShark (http://www.spike.com/video/land-shark/2802070)!

Cumberdale
07-09-2009, 09:46 PM
Steve Martin singing "King Tut." I win.

See post 49.

Lemonkainen
07-09-2009, 09:59 PM
Peter Cook as a noted Broadway producer taking auditions in an all-male prison for the musical "Gigi". Garrett Morris' song still cracks me up.

Although it repeated a few times, IIRC - BASS-O-MATIC!

Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute!

John Belushi for Little Chocolate Donuts. Or as Joe Cocker.

and I can't forget... Happy Fun Ball.

GESancMan
07-10-2009, 03:29 AM
Mr. & Mrs. T's Bloody Mary mix. Watching Mr. T standing behind Jane Curtin in a bald wig trying and failing not to laugh killed me.

That was after Curtin's time. I'm pretty sure Mrs. T was Robin Duke.

One skit I've always remembered was when Pamela Anderson hosted in the '90s. She's playing herself filming a scene with a guy, and has to kiss him; meanwhile, Norm MacDonald, playing Tommy Lee, is looking in through the windows and whatnot. He finally charges in and acts like he's going to beat the guy up, and says to Pamela "I want you to go out to the car and get my gun." She finally calms him down, convincing him it's just acting, and they kiss and make up; then the real Tommy Lee bursts in, dressed exactly the same as Norm, acts the same way, and says all the exact same lines. Hilarious!

johnspartan
07-10-2009, 08:13 AM
Dennis Miller, Dana Carvey and Tom Hanks with the last 2 (well actually sorta all 3) doing Dennis Miller impressions singing Jingle Bells together on Weekend Update.

Quercus
07-10-2009, 08:54 AM
All the old farts posting here and nobody remembers the other good reason to save the liver?
(Old Julia Childs parody where she 'cuts the dickens out of my thumb', and spews blood everywhere.)

Moving from the 'get off my lawn!' category to 'that's what the kids these days are doing' category, I have to vote for the Palin rap. There's a reason that's how they ended the Poehler retrospective.


There was an episode with Jim Carrey and another famous impersonator (Rich Little, maybe?) on a talk show. Except that Jim Carrey was played by a regular cast member, and Rich Little was played by Jim Carrey. At some point the fake Jim started mocking the fake Rich, so Jim-as-Rich started impersonating Jim Carrey, at which point the fake Jim Carrey started impersonating Rich Little as impersonated by Jim Carrey. It was wonderfully strange. (I may have misremembered many of the details of it--I just remember being astonished by its cleverness).That reminds me of the sketch where Stevie Wonder played a bad Stevie Wonder impersonator, who had to be taught by Eddie Murphy. Not that I'm nominating that as one of the funniest, but had to mention it.

elmwood
07-10-2009, 09:02 AM
Jingleheimer Junction.

Absol-uckfing-lutely. :D

Sauron
07-10-2009, 09:15 AM
I have to agree with the Chippendale's audition.

Couple of other moments that occurred to me while reading this thread:

In the Kazurinsky "Iguana" sketch, the moment that makes it for me is when, after denying and denying that he is this person called the Iguana, mild-mannered little Kazurinsky beats down a knife-wielding attacker. Then, he jams the knife into the table in front of him, plants his hands on his hips, and challenges in this reedy little nerdy voice, "Anybody else?"

Dennis Miller, when he was the host of Weekend Update, would occasionally change the intro music. On one episode, Vanilla Ice was the musical guest, and before the commercial break, he had performed his current hit "Ice Ice Baby." When the commercial break is over, Weekend Update is starting. The intro music is Queen's "Under Pressure", which was heavily sampled for "Ice Ice Baby." When the camera focuses on Miller, he's bobbing his head to the music, and he says, "You know, I bet that little ditty would still be popular today."

batsto
07-10-2009, 09:15 AM
I remember "Matt Stevers, Male Nurse", where the nurse was upset by the bias he experienced because he was male. It was explained to him by a colleague that everyone has their own personal biases, with this gem:
"Two women are sitting in a room...which one is smarter?"

to which Matt Stevers replies, "Why, the one with the smaller breasts, of course!"



And then there was the game show 'You Bet Your Finger" where you had to put your finger in a guillotine while questions are asked.

Dana Carvey was in a skit called "Night of the Masturbating Zombies" which made soda come out my nose while I watched it.

and there was another that I remember where Jan Hooks was hearing voices in her head (the voice of Phil Hartman), urging her to do common sense or ordinary activities like "Take a pottery class!!! TAKE A POTTERY CLASS!!" or "weather strip it!!!"

and Tom Hanks in the "Bean Cafe" was hysterical.

jsc1953
07-10-2009, 09:55 AM
Another vote for Eddie Murphy as James Brown in the hot tub.

Funniest (and shortest)...Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein (Phil Hartman, Jon Lovitz, and...?) reciting The Raven. "Once upon..midnight. dreary. Ponder, weak. Weary...."

sqweels
07-10-2009, 10:11 AM
All the old farts posting here and nobody remembers the other good reason to save the liver?
(Old Julia Childs parody where she 'cuts the dickens out of my thumb', and spews blood everywhere.)
I was going to mention that. I do believe it was written by a certain Senator fom Minnesota.
One of my faves was when Ross Perot was driving Admiral Stockdale home from the VP debate and tried to abandon him by the side of the road like an unwanted pet.

It's starting to look like the Chippendales bit wins, tho.

prodicus
07-10-2009, 10:25 AM
My all-time favourite was Bill Murray as Hercules in a bad "dubbed" Italian "Sword and Sandals" epic.

"I can't lift that rock, that rock's too big. I could lift a smaller rock."

Isamu
07-10-2009, 10:28 AM
The Census was great, maybe one of the best, but don't forget your old Colonel Angus .

BMalion
07-10-2009, 11:01 AM
I most heartily agree with the observation that this thread needs...


...MORE COWBELL!

As a runner up, When Sean Connery guests on Celebrity Jepordy.

sqweels
07-10-2009, 11:31 AM
Ooh, I almost forgot about "America's Most Wanted Former Child Actors" with Michael J. Fox as Danny Bonaduce and Chris Farley as the fat girl from Facts of Life.

I most heartily agree with the observation that this thread needs...


...MORE COWBELL!
I want to get a bumper sticker that says "Enough Cowbell Already!"

or maybe "Again With the Cowbell"

joebuck20
07-10-2009, 11:38 AM
My favorite skit is a pretty obscure one.
It featured Phil Hartman and at the very beginning he's sitting in a Masterpiece Theater-type library setting and assails the filth on TV. He then says something like if you're offended by beastiality and vomiting, this sketch will be okay for you. Then it cuts away to Chris Farley and Rob Schneider dressed like a couple of Deliverance hillbillys and Farley says, "Well, let's go have us some sex with some pigs." And Rob Schneider says, "I'm not feeling so good," and both of them end up throwing up all over each other. The funny part is that you can actually see the throw up coming out of their hands a second before they put them up to their mouths.
It then cuts back to Hartman, who has a disgusted look on his face and apologizes saying that there was a mistake.
What can I say? I'm a sucker for juvenile gross out humor.

MsWhatsit
07-10-2009, 11:48 AM
OK, these aren't really my all-time favorites, but they were good and I'm enjoying reading everyone else's sketch reminiscences, so a couple more:

The Sarcastic Clapping Family, where everything anyone says, no matter how innocuous, is met with a slow, sarcastic clap from at least one other family member. (I'm pretty sure this was a one-off and wasn't a recurring bit.)

The opening skit one time was...Jason Bateman, maybe? Or Kirk Cameron? Anyway, one of those guys, as an Olympic figure-skater who just totally, completely sucked. He kept falling down and sliding across the ice, at one point slamming into the wall of the ice rink. The best part was the announcers' reactions: "Oh! Oh.... that's not good. Well, he can still recover from that... OHHH! Probably not now, no."

Oh, and of course Joe Pesci trying on pinky rings in a mirror.

carlb
07-10-2009, 11:52 AM
I have to go with the "fake" TV commercial for Oops I Crapped My Pants. Video here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blwBvrFQy-Y).

"Imagine this pitcher of iced tea is really a gallon of your feces."

Marley23
07-10-2009, 11:53 AM
Was "The Sinatra Group" a one-time sketch?

Funniest (and shortest)...Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein (Phil Hartman, Jon Lovitz, and...?) reciting The Raven. "Once upon..midnight. dreary. Ponder, weak. Weary...."
This was sort of a recurring thing, believe it or not. Or at least they did it twice: the same group recited "Little Drummer Boy" on another episode. (It's Kevin Nealon as Tarzan.)

Sir T-Cups
07-10-2009, 12:19 PM
The Sarcastic Clapping Family, where everything anyone says, no matter how innocuous, is met with a slow, sarcastic clap from at least one other family member. (I'm pretty sure this was a one-off and wasn't a recurring bit.)

Totally forgot about this one.

I loved this sketch and whenever I clap that way I always start it with "Very good..."

Push You Down
07-10-2009, 12:25 PM
I have to go with the "fake" TV commercial for Oops I Crapped My Pants. Video here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blwBvrFQy-Y).

"Imagine this pitcher of iced tea is really a gallon of your feces."

For commercials, this one is tops. Only outshone by the Robot Attack Insurance commercial with Sam Waterston(sp?)

Green Bean
07-10-2009, 12:31 PM
"Oops I Crapped My Pants" is definitely a favorite. I love how it perfectly captures the "hale and hearty and good-looking senior citizen" thing used in countless commercials. They're playing tennis. They're enjoying a walk at a beautiful home. They have adoring grandchildren. There's a spark of new romance between them. They're not letting the problems of aging slow them down. It's just spot-on.

MsWhatsit
07-10-2009, 12:38 PM
Oh, I don't know how I could have forgotten the commercial for "Seasonale", the birth-control pill that lets you have only one period per year. I love the way it so accurately mimics real feminine-product commercials, such as the woman looking through a shelf that holds 11 white shoes...and one pink one.

"Go to the store, buy yourself a hat, and then hold the **** onto it."

Snooooopy
07-10-2009, 01:37 PM
The opening skit one time was...Jason Bateman, maybe? Or Kirk Cameron? Anyway, one of those guys, as an Olympic figure-skater who just totally, completely sucked. He kept falling down and sliding across the ice, at one point slamming into the wall of the ice rink. The best part was the announcers' reactions: "Oh! Oh.... that's not good. Well, he can still recover from that... OHHH! Probably not now, no."

That was Jason Priestley.

WorkInProgress
07-10-2009, 02:21 PM
D**k in a box was so funny I woke my wife up and made her watch it on the DVR when it happened.

I like the old commercial spoofs too...

Petchow Rat Poison is one of my favorites.

handsomeharry
07-10-2009, 03:54 PM
Chippendale's takes it.

However, I'm kind of thinking a close second is the game show "Who wants to be the one to lose to Bush in 92" or whatever it was called. A 6 way debate, in which the winner would not be in the 92 Presidential race (Bush was seen to be unassailable, back then.)
Keifer Sutherland played, uh, I can't remember, but his best line was "I served in the Senate with JFK, and JFK was a personal friend of mine, and I want you to know, I AM NO JFK!"

Honorable mention:

Kirk's Greatest Kirk's
Tales of Ribaldry
The two guys, Tom Hanks and Jon Lovetz who were so desperate that they tried to pick up on octogenarian women.

Hippy Hollow
07-10-2009, 04:03 PM
One of my all-time favorites: "Sincere Guy Stu." It featured a casual first date-type scenario, where you could hear what each person was thinking. At the end, Joe Montana, the roommate, walks in, and everything he's thinking is exactly what he says. The way this skit ended, and the way Joe Montana delivered the zinger, still cracks me up. I can't find a video, but here's (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86istu.phtml) the transcript.

I was going to post this. The brilliance is that Stu only needed a modicum of acting ability to sell it, and Joe Montana, the world-saving QB, is fantastic. His blank expression during the thinking part was perfect. Absolutely cracked my shit up for years. Thanks for linking the transcript!

longhair75
07-10-2009, 04:15 PM
Season one, episode fourteen:

Desi Arnaz reciting Jabberwockey

One of the funniest things I have ever seen. I can't seem to find a clip, though

Miller
07-10-2009, 04:50 PM
This was sort of a recurring thing, believe it or not. Or at least they did it twice: the same group recited "Little Drummer Boy" on another episode. (It's Kevin Nealon as Tarzan.)

They did it a few times. Once, they were all part of a soap opera revolving around Frankenstein's bread making company, and the attempts by his suave, well-spoken twin brother (Pierce Brosnan, I think) to take it over by impresonating Frank.

Push You Down
07-10-2009, 05:02 PM
They did it a few times. Once, they were all part of a soap opera revolving around Frankenstein's bread making company, and the attempts by his suave, well-spoken twin brother (Pierce Brosnan, I think) to take it over by impresonating Frank.

Mel Gibson was Frankenstein's brother... he looked like Gomez Addams which was an interesting choice.

Miller
07-10-2009, 05:08 PM
I knew it was either Brosnan or Gibson.

HelloKitty
07-10-2009, 05:53 PM
Mel Gibson, Dream Gynecologist was a pretty funny one back in the early 90's right around the time Mel was on all the "Sexiest Man" lists.

Also, Heaven's Database (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86qheaven.phtml) has always been one of my favorite "one-off" sketches.

Miller
07-10-2009, 06:08 PM
Speaking of Mel, "Tales of Ribaldry" was pretty good, too.

Bryan Ekers
07-10-2009, 08:52 PM
Wake Up and Smile, about a vapid morning show that descends into Lord of the Flies when the teleprompter breaks is a personal favourite.

"The weatherman is dead!"

Oslo Ostragoth
07-10-2009, 11:38 PM
I didn't see a mention of "Schwetty Balls". I'll look for a link tomorrow.

Jamicat
07-11-2009, 12:08 AM
Morning talk show with Will Ferrell and David Allan Grier. They lose their TelePromTer feed and quickly descend into Lord of the Flies-style savagery.


Off the chains into the great absurdity...Like this

http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/view/371/Will%20Ferrell:%20Wake%20up%20and%20SMILE/

and Buckwheat Shot...(I saw the whole Real ABC News Coverage Live at the time)

http://www.hulu.com/watch/10389/saturday-night-live-buckwheat-buys-the-farm

BaneSidhe
07-11-2009, 12:38 AM
The Eddie Murphy/James Brown celebrity hot tub had me howling!

WarmNPrickly
07-11-2009, 12:44 AM
I really liked the one (not sure about the name) where Eddie Murphy goes undercove as a white man. Not even because I feel it uncovers important social issues. It doesn't. I just crack up at the white people dancing to to raucous jazz music as soon as the lone black man gets off of the bus. I'll be damned if my friend didn't take it for the truth, though.

That was my favorite. I came in here to say this.

koeeoaddi
07-11-2009, 12:52 AM
Another vote for Eddie Murphy as James Brown in the hot tub.

Funniest (and shortest)...Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein (Phil Hartman, Jon Lovitz, and...?) reciting The Raven. "Once upon..midnight. dreary. Ponder, weak. Weary...."
I couldn't say exactly why, but Seasons Greetings from Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ubem25WyN8&NR=1) absolutely killed me.

BigBertha
07-11-2009, 02:15 AM
That reminds me of the sketch where Stevie Wonder played a bad Stevie Wonder impersonator, who had to be taught by Eddie Murphy. Not that I'm nominating that as one of the funniest, but had to mention it.I still can hear Stevies squeaky "What was wrong with it?"

voguevixen
07-11-2009, 01:28 PM
I didn't see a mention of "Schwetty Balls". I'll look for a link tomorrow.

I forget, was that from his first time Baldwin had hosted the show? I think everything from his first time hosting was absolutely hysterical because I'm pretty sure he'd only done dramatic roles up until that point and seeing him do completely ridiculous things was such a shock.

One that sticks in my mind was I think called "Greenhilly" that was a sort of soap opera and the joke was that every time the music swelled he'd start making out with whatever character he happened to be talking to. Of course each character was more and more absurd until he was making out with the great grandmother and the butler, etc and then at one point he said "oh there's a fluffy puppy outside! Hello puppy!" and he opened the window to this horrible fake dog and the music swelled and he started making out with this dog and their tongues where licking all over each other and it was disgusting and hilarious.

BigBertha
07-11-2009, 01:54 PM
I am still searching my memory but I did enjoy the Frank Zappa visits the Coneheads one.

RickJay
07-11-2009, 02:33 PM
Sometime shortly after the very successful run of Ken Burns's "Civil War" series, they had a sketch called something along the lines of "The American Civil War As Explained By Americans Who Didn't Finish High School." Chris Farley's explanation of a major battle included ninjas, and then they'd cut to a 19th-century-style illustration of the battle, with ninjas. It was hilarious.

Sampiro
07-11-2009, 02:54 PM
Another James Brown CHTTP (http://www.vidilife.com/video_play_446130_James_Brown_Celebrity_Hot_Tub.htm)vote, and one for "Pros & Cons" (Images, by Tyrone Green).

In fact pretty much all of them are from Eddie Murphy:

Little Richard Simmons (http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/little-richard-simmons-show/280641/)

The prophetic profile of John David Stutts (the man who killed Buckwheat) (exactly like news coverage of any celebrity death today and this long before the 24/7 networks).

Eddie Murphy as the reincarnation of Elvis.

The "Mayberry Gone Bad" episode (Eddie Murphy as Floyd the Barber, Ron Howard as guest host, and video cameo by Andy Griffith). Great ad lib by Murphy when Ron flubs a line.

TruCelt
07-11-2009, 02:54 PM
What is that?

What is that thing?

What is that?

Oh! I know what it is...

...

...

What the hell is that?

That's what I came to say. That was pure, unmitigated comedy genius. And I loved the way Akroyd kept trying to get off the stage but Martin was sure he could keep them laughing. . .



Hey, you kids get away from that! ! !

voguevixen
07-11-2009, 03:41 PM
Little Richard Simmons (http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/little-richard-simmons-show/280641/)


*splort*

I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT! Thank you!!!

HelloKitty
07-11-2009, 06:34 PM
One that sticks in my mind was I think called "Greenhilly" that was a sort of soap opera and the joke was that every time the music swelled he'd start making out with whatever character he happened to be talking to. Of course each character was more and more absurd until he was making out with the great grandmother and the butler, etc and then at one point he said "oh there's a fluffy puppy outside! Hello puppy!" and he opened the window to this horrible fake dog and the music swelled and he started making out with this dog and their tongues where licking all over each other and it was disgusting and hilarious.Yes, very funny!! I also enjoy The Mimic from this ep, Paul McCartney (who was the music guest) played "James" the butler--Baldwin does a great Paul imitation at the end of the sketch. Incidentally, that show also heralded the famous Chris Farley Show where Farley asks Paul McCartney if he likes Terminator and "Red Hooded Sweatshirt" by Adam Sandler. Great, great show, need to look it up online somewhere!

mobo85
07-11-2009, 06:48 PM
Jingleheimer Junction, where a kids' show host attempts to stop his co-stars- Friendship, Unity, Caring, and Kindness- from lining up in a certain order. That, and a news show sketch where multiple on-screen graphics appear eventually covering up the anchors.

Bosstone
07-11-2009, 06:56 PM
"What the hell is that?" It's just so beautifully simple.

"Oh, I know what that is. ........what the hell is that?"

Also, Tarzan/Tonto/Frankenstein and Celebrity Jeopardy are recurring, so they don't count.

Uosdwis R. Dewoh
07-11-2009, 07:06 PM
Clara Turley's Bible Challenge (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/95/95ebible.phtml). Norm MacDonald is a contestant on a Bible quiz show that's based on the honour system.

Chefguy
07-11-2009, 07:54 PM
Shwetty Balls

"Gonna git me a shotgun and kill all the honkies I see...." - Garret Morris

The Richard Pryor sketch where a cast member does a word-association test with him.

"Coon"
"Honkie"

"Spook"
"Honkie honkie!"

"Nigger"
"DEAD honkie!"

Oslo Ostragoth
07-11-2009, 10:18 PM
I didn't see a mention of "Schwetty Balls". I'll look for a link tomorrow.

Score (http://www.hulu.com/watch/4156/saturday-night-live-nprs-delicious-dish-schweddy-balls)! I do not understand how they did that without cracking up.

BigBertha
07-11-2009, 11:03 PM
Not sure there ONE defining favorite. Maybe someone can help me here, I cannot recall who the cast was or the host, but it was a while ago.
A family is eating and they are meeting the future son in law, something like that.
One of them eats something and the son in law catches what comes out of his mouth and eats it. I know its not enough details but it was surrealistic and shocking.

Eddie Murphy was The best actor on that show. he could take any mistake and make it funny.
I enjoyed Mister Robinsons Neighborhood.
Debbie Downer has always been enjoyable for me also.

Leaper
07-11-2009, 11:20 PM
Not sure there ONE defining favorite. Maybe someone can help me here, I cannot recall who the cast was or the host, but it was a while ago.
A family is eating and they are meeting the future son in law, something like that.
One of them eats something and the son in law catches what comes out of his mouth and eats it. I know its not enough details but it was surrealistic and shocking.


It was Julianna Margulies. (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/99/99lbird.phtml)

BigBertha
07-12-2009, 12:05 AM
Thank you! How does one find that? Unless you recalled the host. I sure didn't.

Hockey Monkey
07-12-2009, 12:21 AM
Colonel Angus Comes Home (http://www.hulu.com/watch/4109/saturday-night-live-colonel-angus-comes-home)

The Chippendales skit and Schwetty Balls are my second and third favorites.

MsWhatsit
07-12-2009, 08:24 AM
You know, the thing everyone remembers about the Schwetty Balls skit is, well, the Schwetty Balls, but I think that the real genius in that sketch is the way they so perfectly capture the calm, quiet pace and tone of the public radio cooking program. I was laughing my ass off well before they got to the whole bit with the Schwetty Balls.

Chefguy
07-12-2009, 08:49 AM
You know, the thing everyone remembers about the Schwetty Balls skit is, well, the Schwetty Balls, but I think that the real genius in that sketch is the way they so perfectly capture the calm, quiet pace and tone of the public radio cooking program. I was laughing my ass off well before they got to the whole bit with the Schwetty Balls.

Good times.

Drain Bead
07-12-2009, 09:15 AM
Most of my favorites (Shweddy Balls, Sincere Guy Stu, and Jingleheimer Junction) have been mentioned already. So here are the honorable mentions.

There was one, where I think it was Will Ferrell, took a yoga class just so he could get limber enough to suck his own dick. The first shot of him with his head down his oversized sweats was fantastic.

Another one where there were two guys playing a old grizzled cop and a rookie who was seeing his first dead body. The rookie starts puking, then everyone else, and the puke comes out of their sleeves as they're covering their mouths. It's still dribbling when they take their arms away, and everyone is trying not to laugh through it, which just makes it funnier.

Another Alec Baldwin favorite, with Adam Sandler -- "Canteen Boy."

The Hanukkah Song..."OJ Simpson...not a Jew. But guess who is, Hall of Famer Rod Carew! (he converted)"

Bad Idea Jeans commercial -- "I usually use protection, but then I thought 'When am I ever going to go back to Haiti?''

Swords to Plowshares
07-12-2009, 10:58 AM
My favorite is definitely More Cowbell. Googly Eyes is a close runner-up.

Another runner-up that hasn't been mentioned yet - the Halftime Pep Talk sketch with Will Forte and Peyton Manning. The dance they do always has me in stitches - especially Manning doing the air guitar on Forte's leg!

Drain Bead
07-12-2009, 01:56 PM
Oh, you just reminded me of the OJ Simpson return to the sidelines on NFL on NBC. Great stuff!

F. U. Shakespeare
07-12-2009, 11:01 PM
My favorite Weekend Update line:Mine: Norm MacDonald announcing that, "the family of the late Princess Diana has settled on a way to discourage souvenir seekers from defacing her grave... land mines.

Other sketches: Joe Peschi as Mr. Cavelli, a loud, overly excitable, silk-suited Italian-American jewelry store customer (big stretch, huh?) who gets into a fight with himself in a mirror before being pulled off the fray by clerk Kevin Nealon.

"The Mike Ditka Type-A Christmas Special", with Phil Hartman in the title role, and John Goodman as a warm but two-fisted Santa Claus.

Sorry if these have already been cited. There are others.

ministryman
07-13-2009, 08:53 AM
Inspired by this thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=523858), what is the funniest one-time-only SNL sketch (that didn't involve recurring characters)?

The all-time funniest SNL skit, hands-down, has to be "More Cowbell," which is apparently on neither Youtube nor Nbc.com.

Bonus: the all-time funniest thing ever said on "Weekend Update": "Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal announced their engagement. They're registerd at Craate and Baarrell."

Ahem.....

Sadly, you are correct; NBC/Universal is invoking the "copyright owner" clause on the audio on other sites.

Minnie Luna
07-13-2009, 09:47 AM
Does anyone remember when Mike Myers did a great impression of Mick Jagger on Weekend Update and Mick Jagger did Keith Richards?

I can't find the video.

bup
07-13-2009, 10:19 AM
Sorry to be a jerk, but while Schwetty Balls was hilarious, it wasn't a one-off. It was an episode of Delicious Dish, a cooking show that's incredibly boring because it's on NPR.

I loved the Wayne Gretzky "Elvis" movie Waikiki Hockey.

BigBertha
07-13-2009, 11:07 AM
Does anyone remember when Mike Myers did a great impression of Mick Jagger on Weekend Update and Mick Jagger did Keith Richards?

I can't find the video.
Yes, I remember but don't have the video either.

DLuxN8R-13
07-13-2009, 07:22 PM
The sketch about the beatniks!

Some of the faux commercials:
Puppy Uppers,
"The breakfast you bang"
and the one for little chocolate donuts.

The Weekend Update special report on paraquat-poisoned pot that ended up with Garrett Morris getting shot dead (offstage).

Oslo Ostragoth
07-14-2009, 12:24 AM
Other sketches: Joe Peschi as Mr. Cavelli, a loud, overly excitable, silk-suited Italian-American jewelry store customer (big stretch, huh?) who gets into a fight with himself in a mirror before being pulled off the fray by clerk Kevin Nealon.

More details: he was shopping for a pinky ring, and acting out scenarios to see which pinky ring looked best in those scenarios. Pretty damn funny.

IIRC, which is not a given.

Bosstone
07-14-2009, 12:36 AM
More details: he was shopping for a pinky ring, and acting out scenarios to see which pinky ring looked best in those scenarios. Pretty damn funny.

IIRC, which is not a given.Yeah, this was the context. The "fight" he was getting into was him acting out a pretend situation getting pissed off at a mook. Great stuff, especially since there's no dialog during the pantomime.

panamajack
07-14-2009, 01:48 AM
My vote's for "Sincere Guy Stu", especially that last line. Funniest line ever from a guest.

Does anyone remember when Mike Myers did a great impression of Mick Jagger on Weekend Update and Mick Jagger did Keith Richards?

I can't find the video.

Didn't this include Mick (as Keith) saying "Mick, you ignorant slut!" ?

Chris Farley as 'El Niņo' was a great one too. (I think that was a one-off.) The local news even played a bit from it just last week when they mentioned this years El Niņo.

Max Torque
07-14-2009, 11:49 AM
Larry's Corner from back on 10/8/83.

Brad Hall was the host of a talk show and decided rather than having a celebrity guest he would have some of his old high school friends on the show.
Eddie (Tim Kurzinsky) - The guy who would drink anything.
Dale- The guy who when drinking milk and laughing the milk would come out of his nose.
Jimmy- The guy who could make fart noises under his arm.

Larry (Brad) introduces them and welcomes them to the show. Dale starts drinking a glass of milk, Jimmy starts making fart noise, milk starts coming out of Dale's nose, Eddie uses the glass to catch the falling milk and drink it, hilarity ensues, Eddie bypasses the glass and gets down on his knees to catch the milk coming out of Dale's nose directly into his mouth.

I also remember this skit ending by being immediately interupted for the "Buckwheat has been shot" story but it appears my memory is wrong.

Let me redeem your memory: on that season's Best of SNL show, that skit was indeed interrupted for the "Buckwheat has been shot" sketch. So, that's probably the episode you're remembering.

From around that same era: Joe Piscopo hosted a talk show talking about the Kennedy assassination, twenty years later. He asked his first guest, Jim Belushi, where he was when he'd heard. "Well, I was a freshman in college, and I was walking across campus, and I heard two guys talking...."

Piscopo interrupts, "Wait, how old are you?" "Um, twenty-nine. So I hear these guys talking...." "Hang on, you were nine years old and you were a freshman in college?" "No, no, I was eighteen. So I hear these guys talking..." "Wait, wait, so you didn't hear about Kennedy being assassinated for ten years?" "Well, I usually turn to the sports page first."

Piscopo rants for a while about how ignorant the guy is, and turns to his next guest, Robin Duke. "Well, this is going to be a little embarrassing, considering what just happened, but, um....he told me." And she points at Belushi, the first guest. "Just before the show. I must've been watching another channel..."

And now Piscopo is in utter disbelief, when the third guest (Kazurinski) pipes in, "Pardon me, are you talking about President Kennedy?" "Yes." "Why, did something happen?" Duke: "He's been shot." Kazurinski bursts into tears.

Those old talk show sketches were great. Remember "Inside-Out", the one-shot they did where Julia Louis-Dreyfus was the easily-surprised host who spit coffee all over her guests every time they said anything remotely startling? Mary Gross was soaked by the time the sketch ended.

Hampshire
07-14-2009, 12:58 PM
Let me redeem your memory: on that season's Best of SNL show, that skit was indeed interrupted for the "Buckwheat has been shot" sketch. So, that's probably the episode you're remembering.


Ah, thanks, I knew I wasn't crazy. It was one of the first things I taped when we bought our very first VCR so I watched it over, and over, and over.

Vision of Love
07-14-2009, 04:50 PM
I love the 'Jar Glove' commercial:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/34460/saturday-night-live-jar-glove

digs
07-14-2009, 07:49 PM
"More Cowbell", for me, derives a lot of yuks from me being very familiar for many years with the song "Don't Fear The Reaper"

Not a big fan of the skit, but...
Just TRY hearing "Don't Fear The Reaper" on the radio now, without noticing almost nothing but that damn cowbell.

And wanting more. To the point of banging along on anything metallic.

Bosstone
07-14-2009, 07:58 PM
Chris Farley as 'El Niņo' was a great one too. (I think that was a one-off.) The local news even played a bit from it just last week when they mentioned this years El Niņo."El Niņo is Spanish for...the Niņo!"

elwoodblues*.*
09-04-2011, 03:15 AM
I'VE FOUND IT! The SNL episode with Larry's Corner where he has his reunion with friends; the one who laughs while drinking milk and it comes out of his nose, the one who makes duck (farting) noises under his armpit, and the one who will drink anything liquid. It is SNL Season 9, Episode 1. It can be viewed on HULU.

elwoodblues*.*
09-04-2011, 03:22 AM
It was season 9, episode 1

Johnny Q
09-04-2011, 05:33 AM
You Can Pick Your Friends, You Can Pick Your Nose, But You Can't Pick Your Friend's Nose.

LurkerInNJ
09-04-2011, 07:22 PM
Toonces the driving cat, the cat who can drive a car!

Girl with no gaydar - The Rock plays a gay bartender (ok, so they did it a few times over the years, but I just about died laughing at The Rock)

Robot Insurance (best skit ever)

Beyonce Single Ladies parody

JohnT
09-04-2011, 07:31 PM
Lazy Sunday (https://encrypted.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=lazy%20sunday&source=web&cd=2&ved=0CCoQtwIwAQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nbc.com%2Fsaturday-night-live%2Fvideo%2Fchronicles-of-narnia-lazy-sunday%2F2921%2F&ei=yxdkTsqbNpPEsQKP8szRCg&usg=AFQjCNFzfd3F1AUjl4H3j2rkoyYag40IAQ&sig2=SzzwBw9CuxMVR55jPPVq0w)

The Chonic (what!?) cles of Narnia, indeed!

JohnT
09-04-2011, 07:37 PM
Metro Card on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKJU_SjkqC4)

Cubsfan
09-04-2011, 11:52 PM
Chippendales dance off is unbeatable. Was very funny yet Chris Farles was very endearing in it too.

Belushis Chocolate Donuta is still very funny today.

schmidtts gay beer had me rolling too.

cochrane
09-05-2011, 12:34 AM
Over two years and no one's mentioned the Douchebags (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H61agOWWNE0&feature=youtube_gdata_player)?

Salisbury Manor, 1730.

Harry Shearer as Lord Salisbury hosting a fancy English party and offering chopped steaks to his guests. Bill Murray as the Earl of Sandwich. Garret Morris as a page loudly announcing the guests. "The Duke and Duchess of Arrrrgyllllle!" Buck Henry as Lord Douchebag. "Tell me, Douchebag, what kind of an invention are you sitting on?" "Many's the time, I've heard the King say of your family, and yours, too, Sandwich, 'Give me a Sandwich and a Douchebag and there is nothing I cannot do.'"

Thirty years on, and this one's still a classic.

sco3tt
09-05-2011, 01:01 AM
This zombie needs more cowb... er, Weekend Update one-liners. My favorite:

The Brazilian city of Esperantina has announced that Orgasm Day will be celebrated on May 9. They hope you come.

Re: one-off sketches, I nominate Ed Asner's departing admonition that "you can never put too much water in a nuclear core."

standingwave
09-05-2011, 02:33 AM
I searched the thread for Steve Martin's King Tut but didn't see it. I was thinking about this sketch/song earlier this year when Egypt was in the news. From the third season, 22 April 1978, Steve Martin performing King Tut:

Video (Hulu) (http://www.hulu.com/watch/55342/saturday-night-live-king-tut)

The "backup group" Martin used for this song was credited as The Toot Uncommons (Tutankhamen), but was really The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, whose multi-instrumentalist John McEuen is good friends with Steve Martin and taught him to play banjo.

The sax soloist who comes out of the sarcophagus - it is 'Blue Lou' Marini, soon to be a member of the Blues Brothers Band.

Songfacts.com entry (http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=3813)

Released as a single, it reached number 17 on the Billboard charts in 1978 proving once again that the seventies were a very silly decade.

TBG
09-05-2011, 05:35 PM
Toonces the driving cat, the cat who can drive a car!

Girl with no gaydar - The Rock plays a gay bartender (ok, so they did it a few times over the years, but I just about died laughing at The Rock)


Toonces wasn't a one off either. They even did a Toonces special at one point.

He drives around
All over the town
Toonces, the driving cat!

Annie-Xmas
09-06-2011, 09:15 AM
The sax soloist who comes out of the sarcophagus - it is 'Blue Lou' Marini, soon to be a member of the Blues Brothers Band.

Songfacts.com entry (http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=3813)


Yes, that is "Blue Lou." That episode is considered one of the best SNL's ever.It also had the Dancing in the Dark (http://www.videolog.tv/video.php?id=451266) sequence with Martin and Gilda Radner, the best SNL sketch with no dialogue.

Steve Martin introduced this clip at SNL's tribute to Radner after she died. It was one of the few times Martin, the consummate professional, almost lost it.

standingwave
09-06-2011, 01:34 PM
Yes, that is "Blue Lou." That episode is considered one of the best SNL's ever.It also had the Dancing in the Dark (http://www.videolog.tv/video.php?id=451266) sequence with Martin and Gilda Radner, the best SNL sketch with no dialogue.

Great episode. I remember I was in college at the time: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/77/77r.phtml. Dancing in the Dark, The debut of the Blues Brothers and Theodoric of York (http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/theodoric-of-york/2888/) - Medieval Barber:

Theodoric: Wait a minute. Perhaps she's right. Perhaps I've been wrong to blindly follow the medical traditions and superstitions of past centuries. Maybe we barbers should test these assumptions analytically, through experimentation and a "scientific method". Maybe this scientific method could be extended to other fields of learning: the natural sciences, art, architecture, navigation. Perhaps I could lead the way to a new age, an age of rebirth, a Renaissance! (thinks for a minute) Naaaaaahhh!

well he's back
09-07-2011, 11:45 AM
apologizing that I don't have time to read entire thread, but here are my nominees:
from the "golden days" - Chevy Chase interviewing Richard Pryor for a job. By the time Pryor spits out 'dead honky' I am in tears, laughing.

from recent years - The Rock played a Hawaiian waiter, hula-ing & telling tourists the real truth about the islands. hilarious.

Greg Charles
09-07-2011, 03:02 PM
My favorite is Eddie Murphy's tribute to George Washington Carver, while dressed as an African prince, wearing sunglasses, and seated in an armchair. "... George 'Jif' Robinson reaped countless millions from Dr. Carver's invention, while Dr. Carver died penniless and insane, still trying to play a phonograph record with a peanut."

Another good one is Steve Martin's, "If I had one wish for this holiday season ...." which starts with the children of the world coming together in song, and finally devolves into "revenge against my enemies. They should die like pigs in hell!!!"

I'm also a big fan of Andy Kaufmann's, "Mighty Mouse" and some of his others. Chris Farley rolling his fat around for Chippendales ... not so much.

bump
09-07-2011, 03:25 PM
The Census was great, maybe one of the best, but don't forget your old Colonel Angus .

Colonel Angus is an acquired taste.

(this skit was the first one I thought of, then the Tonto, Frankenstein & Tarzan skits, and finally the "Asswipe Johnson" skit with Nicholas Cage. Not sure why, but that one always made me laugh.)

SmellMyWort
09-07-2011, 05:38 PM
Chippendales dance off is unbeatable. Was very funny yet Chris Farles was very endearing in it too.

The premise of the Chippendales skit was actually done many years earlier when Paul Simon played pro basketball player Connie Hawkins 1 on 1.

holmes
09-07-2011, 06:15 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mrJFf8lTk0 c.i.l.l my landlord

etv78
09-07-2011, 06:23 PM
[QUOTE=Cubsfan;14219699]Chippendales dance off is unbeatable. Was very funny yet Chris Farles was very endearing in it too. QUOTE]

KNEW it would become classic as I was watching it live.

CaptMurdock
09-07-2011, 06:49 PM
My multi-quoted two cents:
From 1976: The Godfather Therapy (http://www.hulu.com/watch/4178/saturday-night-live-godfather-therapy) sketch with Belushi and Elliot Gould.
It's not just Belushi's Godfather that's great, it's Larraine Newman's proto-Valley Girl Sherry: "She said, 'Look, the shicsa's making us a Presbyterian pie!' Gross me out royal, man!"

Dana Carvey was in a skit called "Night of the Masturbating Zombies" which made soda come out my nose while I watched it.

It was "Island of..." and Robert Wagner's line killed me: "Men, there's a bunch of zombies running around this island...and they're 'punching the munchkin'!"

You Can Pick Your Friends, You Can Pick Your Nose, But You Can't Pick Your Friend's Nose.
"Hey! You know the rules!"

Over two years and no one's mentioned the Douchebags (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H61agOWWNE0&feature=youtube_gdata_player)?

Salisbury Manor, 1730.

Harry Shearer as Lord Salisbury hosting a fancy English party and offering chopped steaks to his guests. Bill Murray as the Earl of Sandwich. Garret Morris as a page loudly announcing the guests. "The Duke and Duchess of Arrrrgyllllle!" Buck Henry as Lord Douchebag. "Tell me, Douchebag, what kind of an invention are you sitting on?" "Many's the time, I've heard the King say of your family, and yours, too, Sandwich, 'Give me a Sandwich and a Douchebag and there is nothing I cannot do.'"

Thirty years on, and this one's still a classic.
"Lady Douchebag, what kind of dressing would you like on your salad?"
"Oh, just some vinegar and water!" :D

----
One of my all-time faves: Big Bitch Bull-dyke Bust-Out of 1989, featuring Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker (Rick Moranis and Jan Hooks), Zsa Zsa Gabor (Victoria Jackson) and Leona Helmsley (Nora Dunn). I fell out of my chair.

Quercus alba
09-07-2011, 10:21 PM
And as Life continues to imitate Art...

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/09/07/140266537/yes-its-true-ben-jerrys-introduces-schweddy-balls-ice-cream-flavor?sc=fb&cc=fp

standingwave
09-08-2011, 12:44 PM
Another good one is Steve Martin's, "If I had one wish for this holiday season ...." which starts with the children of the world coming together in song, and finally devolves into "revenge against my enemies. They should die like pigs in hell!!!"You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. :D

TBG
09-08-2011, 01:10 PM
There was another one I liked by Steve Martin about how you could get a million dollars and never pay taxes.

standingwave
09-08-2011, 06:34 PM
There was another one I liked by Steve Martin about how you could get a million dollars and never pay taxes.Isn't that his excuuuuse me routine? You get in trouble for never paying taxes so you say the magic words, "I forgot." When the authorities continue to give you grief, you say, "excuuuuuse me!!!!"

Suburban Plankton
09-08-2011, 08:48 PM
My vote has to go to the Chevy Chase/Richard Pryor Janitor interview sketch.

One that nobody has mentioned yet: The Pepsi Syndrome (http://vimeo.com/20995501)

JohnT
09-08-2011, 09:03 PM
You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. :D

Doesn't it end up with Steve saying "Screw the kids! The logistics of getting all those kids together would be a nightmare!" (or something along those lines?)

Yorikke
09-08-2011, 09:56 PM
More favorite commercials :

Cookie Dough Gatorade
Uncle Jemima's Mash Liquor
Oops I crapped my Pants!

Joe

Thudlow Boink
09-08-2011, 10:15 PM
Doesn't it end up with Steve saying "Screw the kids! The logistics of getting all those kids together would be a nightmare!" (or something along those lines?)Here's the transcript. (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86fwish.phtml)

standingwave
09-09-2011, 12:49 AM
Doesn't it end up with Steve saying "Screw the kids! The logistics of getting all those kids together would be a nightmare!" (or something along those lines?)The kids get demoted to fifth wish (http://www.angelfire.com/realm/theatre/holiday.html). :D

Becky2844
09-09-2011, 02:29 AM
I saw Kevin Klien portray a Don Juan type with a bad gassy problem. Every few seconds, at the romantic table for two, he farted and tried to "sweep" the evidence away. When he turned his face over his shoulder and just gave a kind of thin-lipped blow, I lost it.
For Weekend Update, everything Gilda Radnor was in.
Never mind.

Manduck
09-09-2011, 02:52 AM
Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute: "Skedaddle into that bed, young lady!".

I'm not a big fan of the cowbell sketch, but it's impossible not to think of it whenever you hear a song that has cowbell.

TBG
09-09-2011, 06:43 PM
Another one I'll never forget had Phil Hartman playing Charlton Heston doing the book on tape version of Madonna's Sex book.

Pushy