Things that are no longer humorous

[Homer]

Saying "Since this is the pit..." and then cursing. Wow. Yippee. Whatever.

JDT references. Humorous a few weeks ago. Not any longer. Thanks.

Alright, there's two of them. I'm sure I'll think of more later.

--Tim

[Guinastasia]

Well, I have to disagree on the JDT thing. That guy's such a nutbar!

[Biggirl]

People telling me what I should find humorous. Perhaps the subject should have been "Things that I no longer find humorous."

And since this is the Pit. . . nope, I don't find this funny either.

[Torgo]

Any humor based on the alleged lameness of 1970s pop-culture is no longer funny.

[iampunha]

"Show me the money" was funny a while ago.

That was a while ago.

[Monster104]

iampunha: Does that mean you want us to show you the funny?

(Ducks and runs before the rotten vegetables are thrown)

[Emperor Penguin]

"You show us the funny, we'll show you the money"

Akkkk!!!

Dave Coulier flash back!



Monster104 you bastard.





(Bonus points to the first person who remebers on what show this hideous line was spawned)

[Homer]

Jesus. Was it that horrible "Dave Coulier Show" on... hell... Nickelodeon... perhaps? Back in the 80s.

--Tim

[Tzel]

Are you talking about "Out of Control," with that girl with the crazy hair and inch-long purple fingernails that schreeched like a banshee? Good Lord.

[Emperor Penguin]

Close, It was "Americas Funniest People".

IIRC, this was a cheap knock off of "America Funniest Home Videos", except instead of funny moments accidently caught on tape, people tried to make funny videos on purpose. Ugh.

It was bad. Trauma inducing bad.

They also had that damn jackalope skit they always did. I belived thay called him "Jack-ching-bod-a-bing".

::shudder::

Sooooo many bad memories returning, need strong drink and shower.

[Kat]

That was mean and cruel, Corvus. I thought I'd purged all the memories of that show, and now you've brought them all back!

If you need me, I'll be curled up in a fetal position on the floor behind the couch.

[MysterEcks]

D###. You know, at football games--one guy holds up a "D," and another holds up a picket fence. Defense. D###.

This is actually kind of cute the first, oh, say half dozen times you see it--ha ha ha, that's creative. It's alright the second half dozen times--ha ha, they're still at it. It's tolerable the third half dozen times--ha...they're stillat it. Well, I passed my third half dozen times seeing it during the Carter Administration...and while I realize that drunken football fans are liable to be creatively challenged, can we pleasefind another fucking schtick?

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

[Kamino Neko]

Originally posted by Corvus
Close, It was "Americas Funniest People".

IIRC, this was a cheap knock off of "America Funniest Home Videos",

Spinoff, not knock-off. They aired back-to-back for a while, and were both hosted by actors from Full House. (Bob Saget and Dave Coulier.)

[Emperor Penguin]

Spin-off.

That was the word I was looking for! Thank you Tengu


And Kat, remember I cannot be held liable for any damages incurred, whether they be physical or emtional. :)

[Homer]

Ugh. American's Funniest People.

I had a friend, Beau Costner, who was actually on that show, with his wrestler imitation. He would have been about 12 or 13.

--Tim

[capacitor]

Unfortunately JDT apparently put a virus in the Straightdope e-mail.

Racist jokes.

Wife-beating jokes.

Neither of the above is funny anymore.

[aha]

What is black and white and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a spear through her.

Actually funnier than I remember.

[Montfort]

Dave Coulier was the inspiration for Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughtta Know."

Now, isn't that ironic, doncha think?

[The Ryan]

Originally posted by Corvus
Close, It was "Americas Funniest People".

IIRC, this was a cheap knock off of "America Funniest Home Videos", except instead of funny moments accidently caught on tape, people tried to make funny videos on purpose. Ugh.
Yes, if anyone wonders why Married With Children was so successful: this was the sort of competition it had.

[Emperor Penguin]

Originally posted by Montfort
Dave Coulier was the inspiration for Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughtta Know."

Now, isn't that ironic, doncha think?

Not ironic, but rather, deeply disturbing.

The line "would she go down on you in a theater" just took on a new, horrific meaning.

That's a mental image that going keep me up nights.



I'm going to go and scrub my brain now...hard.

[Alphagene]

I only remember two things about America's Funniest People. One was a kid who did his impression of an "overripe tomato" by holding his breath and making blood rush into his face and a guy who was about sixty strip down to a gold speedo while dancing to "U Can't Touch This". In the middle of a mall!

I just remember thinking that someone from another country might tune into this show and get the impression that these actually are America's funniest people.

[Silver Fire]

MGV. Was mildly cute and somewhat funny for a while. Not anymore.

(Most of you are all, "Huh? MGV??". Oh well.)

[Tzel]

They are America's Funniest People. Not funny-ha-ha, but funny like "This foil wrapped thing in the back of the fridge smells funny."

[SPOOFE]

They are America's Funniest People.

Just another one of the indicators that America is a shitty place to live, eh? :D

[lissener]

A phrase that turns up in 87% of all Pit threads and is so not funny anymore:

"Get off the cross. We need the wood.

I generally stop reading a thread when that one pops up.

[Welfy]

Anything pertaining to "Who Let the Dogs Out"

On the board:
People getting naked.

[vandal]

All things Viagra. It stopped being funny about a few hours after it came out.

[xizor]

"Waaazzzuupp" is no longer funny. In fact, any ad campaign in which you do more than four commercials with the same gag, it is too much.

Where's the beef?
Budwiser frogs
Budwiser lizards
etc.

They all stop being funny after 4 gags.

[kaylasdad99]

(For the sake of perspective, I've never heard of the WAAZZUP TV commercial; I've seen allusions to it here and there, and it always mystifies me. Additionally, I never saw the first runs of the Budweiser frogs, and the first time I saw the chameleons -- in a magazine ad -- I thought the frogs were looking kin of sickly. Also, who the hell is Dave Courvoisier? When America's Funniest Home Videos is over, it's time to turn to FOX for "The Simpsons.")

Now that I have hinted at just how clueless I am regarding contemporary popular culture, may I just say, that I've never seen a commercial with that Pepsi Cola moppet that didn't make me laugh out loud. Of course, I only tend to see each one once or twice...

[Wozzo]

*Pepsi Cola moppet*!!!! AAKKKKK! GAH! and FEH! PTOOI!

[DavisMcDavis]

Originally posted by Wozzo
*Pepsi Cola moppet*!!!! AAKKKKK! GAH! and FEH! PTOOI! Oh, God, I thought she'd finally gone away, and I managed to get over my distaste of Faith Hill so television was safe once again - except this holiday season that wretched little gap-toothed Curly Sue/Savannah Smiles wannabe is back! UGH! I just hate her soooo much...flames, FLAMES at the side of my face...heaving...pant-..heaving breaths....Where was I?

I actually do know a funny wife-beating joke:
Q: What does a woman do when she gets home from the battered women's shelter?

A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

[Pammipoo]

Originally posted by DavisMcDavis

I actually do know a funny wife-beating joke:
Q: What does a woman do when she gets home from the battered women's shelter?

A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!




I don't find it too funny...maybe it's just me though.

[Badtz Maru]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told the bitch twice.

[Delta-9]

Originally posted by Montfort
Dave Coulier was the inspiration for Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughtta Know."

Now, isn't that ironic, doncha think?

FTR:
She has been asked about this. She has stated that the song was not about him specifically. When the interviewer asked her about it she sorta snickered and said that Dave likes to think that the song is about him.

[Jester]

I don't wanna see her again! Too scary! Too scary! Pepsi Girl BAD!!

<collapses in twitching heap on the ground>

[yabob]

*Pepsi Cola moppet*!!!! AAKKKKK! GAH! and FEH! PTOOI!
Her name is Hallie Eisenberg. I provide this information as a public service that you may possibly have an early warning system to avoid her when you see the name.

[Homer]

Someone who posts on this board's mother lives right around the corner from young Hallie.

--Tim

[Weirddave]

Tim,

If I give her a dollar will she go slap her?

[Weirddave]

Kaylasdad,

All the commercials you could ever want to see are archived at Ad Critic.com (http://www.adcritic.com).

[SCRIMMY]

peace

[Homer]

Originally posted by weirddave
Tim,

If I give her a dollar will she go slap her?

I think there's been some discussion on the subject, but the lynch mob was called off when it was revealed that even Hallie hates the commercials. She thinks they're stupid and won't watch them.

Some kids'll do anything for money, I guess.

But man, oh, man, if I'm ever at the poster's mom's house, I'm takin a little side trip.

--Tim

[Krispy Original]

RE: Things that are no longer funny

...references to "felching"

[Max the Immortal]

Ack! Don't mention the evil Pepsi demon-child! EVER! *spits on the ground*

That ad campaign is the primary reason that I prefer Coke over Pepsi. I can't bring myself to help pay for such horrible commercials.

[PunditLisa]

Adam Sandler was funny for about a half a minute.

[Oblong]

talking babies or animals in commercials are not funny.

Morning DJs who prank call people are not funny.

[Nurlman]

The expression "...not that there's anything wrong with that," especially following a comment about homosexuality.

In fact, any catch phrase derived from Seinfeld is, as of 1/1/2000, no longer funny.

No more "master of your domain."
No more "serenity now!"
No more "get out!" accompanied by an exaggerated pushing motion.
No more.
Ever.
You hear me?

[Oblong]

Does that include "No _____ for you!!!!"?

[scout1222]

How 'bout that Taco Bell ad for their new Zesty fiesta burrito thingy. Two guys eating and calling everything "Zesty!" That damn ad ran incessantly on NBC last night.

Wait a minute. Come to think of it, it really wasn't even funny the first time I saw it.

[SCRIMMY]

How 'bout that Taco Bell ad for their new Zesty fiesta burrito thingy


Oh God, next to the "2 great LazyBoy chairs, 1 great low price" commercial and the "we've got bargains" St Patty's commercial, that must be the clearest proof of the end times I've had the misfortune to be witness to.

[jb_farley]

Originally posted by SCRIMMY
peace

Oh, I take exception to that. He's finally given me a reason to post again!

To add to the list:

Jokes about cops eating doughnuts (fer chrissakes, was it ever funny?)

Fucking smilies.

Bette (and the pilot showed so much promise. sigh...)

jb

p.s.- mindblowing- "Why did the chicken cross the road" was probably hilarious when it was first asked. Honestly.

[Derleth]

Billy Bass. You know, that plastic fish that makes noise.

Generations. Any generations. If anyone mentions what generation they're from or tries to make references to that generation needs to be shot.

Communism. It might have sounded interesting to some half-starved Russian peasants eighty years ago, but it has not been amusing since. It is also facing worldwide extinction, just like the smallpox virus before it. Its demise will be greeted with parties in the streets.

Race. For crying out loud, we're all human. If you cannot accept that the color of your skin means nothing you should go and lynch yourself. Especially if you think the color of your skin or the identity of your ancestors entitles you to something.

Rap. Nobody is amused by crack-smoking hopheads anymore. Learn to speak English correctly and get a life.

That is a short list. Expect to hear from me again.

[Tzel]

Originally posted by Derleth
[B]Billy Bass. You know, that plastic fish that makes noise.


And why oh why the dozens upon dozens of imitators. I'm sure someone, somewhere is buying them, because apparently, enough companies saw fit to jump on this bandwagon, but I don't know anyone that would ever want one. I always wonder who is the business executive in some office getting paid to say, "Hey, let's copy that other company's idea. Maybe we can make some money from it."

[KJ]

I really despise the Taco Bell "Zesty" commercial. It was never funny, and the first time I saw it, I just wanted to smack those idiots. What 6-year-old came up with the idea for this commercial!?

[Stoid]

Originally posted by Oblong
Does that include "No _____ for you!!!!"?

Actually, no. That one is still funny. Very. Depending on who says it, how, and when. Delivery very much counts.

stoid

[Homer]

Well, I deliberately misused the word "annotated", but here's a long, long ago thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=29621) of mine that some of you may enjoy. It's (sorta) on the same subject.

--Tim

[Jello]

Anti-communism. It was supposed to have died out when McCarthy did, but noooo....

[DavisMcDavis]

Originally posted by Derleth
Communism. It might have sounded interesting to some half-starved Russian peasants eighty years ago, but it has not been amusing since. It is also facing worldwide extinction, just like the smallpox virus before it. Its demise will be greeted with parties in the streets.
I never thought communism was funny to begin with. Jokes about Russian swimsuit models - yes, but not communism specifically. That old "SWIMVEAR!" commercial still gets me every time I think of it....

[peepthis]

Originally posted by Corvus
"You show us the funny, we'll show you the money"

Akkkk!!!

Dave Coulier flash back!

(Bonus points to the first person who remebers on what show this hideous line was spawned)


"Chi-town, Beantown, every in between town/Lookin' for the funniest people!" Great, now I have the annoying theme song stuck in my head. Corvus, I recognized the phrase even without the Dave Coulier reference, which is definitely the nadir of my day thus far. Then again, any show that starred Tawny Kitaen had some redeeming value...even if she wasn't writhing on the hood of car (can anyone place that reference?).

Jackalope: "Fast as fast can be, you'll never catch me!"

Final hijack: as a joke, a friend of mine last year found Dave Coulier's e-mail address and wrote to him. They exchanged e-mails, and he even mailed her a signed 8x10, which we couldn't stop laughing about for at least a week. Not surprisingly, he's happy to hear from anyone purporting to be a fan. Most recent Coulier sighting: as a panelist on the god awful "To Tell the Truth," sitting next to Meshack (sp?) Taylor and Paula Poundstone. Barf.

[rushtopher]

I read an article in TV Guide that mentioned her. (Wow, two embarassing admissions in one sentence.) She said people kept coming up to her after the first commercial saying, "Do the voice, Do the voice"


How freaking stupid do you have to be??????? Seriously, her lip-synching isn't even good.

[Mnementh]

You're all evil.

I come into a thread, expecting to find an amusing list of things people dont like anymore (you're all hilarious, by the way, no sarcasm intended).

But then my great day is ruined not only by the mention of that damned Funniest people show, but you actually had to remind me of the Theme song!# I hate that song@!$ MAKE IT STOP@%#$ HELKP ME%#!#

[Kaz]

Originally posted by jb_farley
p.s.- mindblowing- "Why did the chicken cross the road" was probably hilarious when it was first asked. Honestly.

Ya know, I've actually thought about this many a time before, and that really always made me laugh, that people actually did find that funny before....makes you glad our humor is so "advanced"...whatever that means...

[quixotic78]

An old roommate of mine still does that "Cut it out" thing, complete with the hand motions. Don't pretend you don't know what the hand motions are... scissors, pointing, and a kind of hitchhiking motion. Then again, he was homeschooled.

Heh, I got a nice chuckle from the chicken crossed the road observation. Good job.

Quix

P.S. My TV gripe--absolutely any fucking commercial where some sort of morphing is done to make animals/babies/old men/etc smile really big/wink/laugh/talk/etc. Fuck! I also hate the bitch in the Southwest Airlines commercial going through that guy's medicine cabinet. It's like a personal gripe against her. I yell at the TV, "You fucking bitch, I hope your shitty Southwest flight crashes!" Then again, I need counseling.

[SpartanDC]

Originally posted by SCRIMMY
Oh God, next to the "2 great LazyBoy chairs, 1 great low price" commercial and the "we've got bargains" St Patty's commercial

AHHHHHHHHH!!! SCRIMMY, my mind can only handle that damned ABC Warehouse commercial for 7 days in March! AHHHHHHHHHH!

So, you're from Michigan?

Dave Coulier graduated from my high school. When he came for a visit, we asked him about the "You Oughta Know" thing. He said that the timing of the end of his relationship with her and when she was writing for that album would seem to suggest a link, but he couldn't prove it.

He also said, "I have no idea about that theater business."

I just realized I hate seeing Howie Long in Radio Shack commercials. He's taking precious screen time away from Teri Hatcher. As for things that just aren't funny anymore, and keeping in the Alanis spirit of this post, people who say "Don't ya think?" after I say something's ironic. Even worse are people who say "Isn't that ironic, don't ya think?" after somthing that ISN'T IRONIC.

For fuck's sake, learn what irony is! It's not the same as a coincidence!!!

[Emperor Penguin]

Originally posted by peepthis
"Chi-town, Beantown, every in between town/Lookin' for the funniest people!"

Jackalope: "Fast as fast can be, you'll never catch me!"



I only have one thing to say to you before I go boil my brain.





You are evil.




I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread, already in progress.

[BunnyGirl]

Then again, any show that
starred Tawny Kitaen had some redeeming value...even if she wasn't writhing on the hood of car
(can anyone place that reference?).
Shoot, boy, give me something a little harder (yeah, that's what she said)!

Whitesnake videos, of course. A rotten hair pop band with David what's-his-name dating Tawny at the time.

Ech.

[peepthis]

Originally posted by BunnyGirl
Then again, any show that starred Tawny Kitaen had some redeeming value...even if she wasn't writhing on the hood of a car (can anyone place that reference?).

Shoot, boy, give me something a little harder (yeah, that's what she said)!

Whitesnake videos, of course. A rotten hair pop band with David what's-his-name dating Tawny at the time.

Ech.

Well done, Bunny. Tawny was indeed married to David Coverdale, former Deep Purple vocalist and lead singer of the abominable hair-band Whitesnake! The video in question, of course, was "Here I Go Again." I'm so ashamed at what falls out of the memory banks sometimes.

[quixotic78]

Originally posted by peepthis
Well done, Bunny. Tawny was indeed married to David Coverdale, former Deep Purple vocalist and lead singer of the abominable hair-band Whitesnake! The video in question, of course, was "Here I Go Again." I'm so ashamed at what falls out of the memory banks sometimes. [/B]
Was this the same video that created a ruckus because a nipple was visible? Or am I way off here?

Quix

[Oblong]

[Phil Hartman as Ed Mcmahon]

You are correct sir!

[/Phil Hartman as Ed Mcmahon]

It was when she leaned out the window and the wind took care of things.

I became a man watching that video. Sad. These kids today don't know how easy they have it with the internet. I have eye damage from watching scrambled playboy channel.

[choosybeggar]

Originally posted by jb_farley
Originally posted by SCRIMMY
peace


Jokes about cops eating doughnuts (fer chrissakes, was it ever funny?)

Funny cop/doughnut joke example:

From Raising Arizona. Scene where Leonard Smalls (The Lone Biker of the Apocalypse) visits Nathan Arizona's office to discuss his fee for finding N. Arizona's boy:

N.A. Intimates something about how the cops will find his son anyway

L.S.: "A cop couldn't find his butt if it had a bell on it. You want to find an outlaw, you call an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin Donuts, call a cop."

HaHaHaHaw.

Now that's comedy mis amigos.

Or perhaps I'm biased?

[RoboDude]

On a related note, does anyone remember the Comedy Central show "Upright Citizens Brigade"? (I think it was cancelled) I only saw a few episodes, and in all of them, they would take something that was kinda funny for maybe a minute and go on and on and on with it.

[jb_farley]

Oh no, the Upright Citizens Brigade is the fuckingshit! I cannot communicate through words how good they are. They're an improv group originally from Chicago, now in NYC.

I attended an Improv Festival at Haverford (their motto, "If you say it fast enough at the grad school interview, they'll assume you said 'Harvard'") and the UCB led workshops. I worked for over an hour with a guy named Matt (very funny on the show).

These guys are the ultimate! If anybody ever gets the chance, see them in NY. They have their own theatre. I'm assumin some of you have seen "Who's Line is It Anyway"?

It's monkeyshits compared to these guys. Alas, comedy central has cancelled them(like MST3K, comedy central must be fecophilia reified),

that's all I got,

jb

[bwk]

did any of you see the evil pepsi girl in the commercial with KISS? that sounds like a bad joke opening... but seriously, I so lost any .. any anything I ever thought about KISS.

They are on stage in their makeup and stuff singing, and then the camera drops down and there she is in KISS makeup and clothes. It is sooooooooooo sickening. Has anyone else seen this? I've only seen it once, thankfully.

Also those search engine commercials. Any search engine commercial. The newest ones have this woman pulling weeds in her garden and at the end of this particularly stubborn weed is a woman's head that pops out of the dirt, sort of scat singing beedopadoppadopdopda

Never funny, actually, just SKAREEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

Also the 7-up guy, the 'my internet connection is so slow' commercials, and... well, actually, my brain is totally stewed in fearful juices at the fact that Alanis might have given Dave Coiuuoloeteir (whatever) more than just a disdainful glance. YEEEEEEEEECH!!! How could she!!!??!?!?!?

[TwistofFate]

Nobody is amused by crack-smoking hopheads anymore. Learn to speak English correctly and get a life

you know, overgeneralisations by someone who obviously dosent know what he is talking about just isn't funny either.....

[Cisco]

'TMI' was just below subfunny for about a milisecond, it lost it though.

[Homer]

What do you mean, Cisco? The phrase TMI, or the actual sharing of TMI? Cuz if it's the latter, you're striking a serious blow against one of my few talents. ;)

--Tim

[horowitz]

Mr. Blackwell

Ok I don't know if this guy was ever funny. That worst dressed list makes me change the channel/turn the page faster than anything.

[Cisco]

Originally posted by Homer
What do you mean, Cisco? The phrase TMI, or the actual sharing of TMI? Cuz if it's the latter, you're striking a serious blow against one of my few talents. ;)

--Tim

I mean the phrase TMI. Especially when it's over stupid stuff. Example:

Person: My stomach is really disagreeing with that beef and potato burrito I ate earlier.

Dumbass: WHOA! TMI!!!

[Bottle of Smoke]

Zesty!

God, how I hate that stupid commercial! I hate it because it is stupid, but even more I hate it because you can tell that Taco Bell is trying to launch a catch phrase, ala the Whazzzup guys. Catch phrases are annoying. Trying to concoct one by playing an asinine ad over and over is criminal.

They retired that demon-spawned chihuahua and this was the best they could do next? Two meatheaded, slack jawed losers saying Zesty? I can already picture the t-shirt companies gearing up. "This Zesty thing is gonna be huge! Order more cotton!"

[Lumpy]

Dear Mr. Brooks:

In the hopes of reviving your once flourishing career, I am offering the following advice. Although the following things were funny many decades ago, they are not any more:

1. Jewishness is no longer funny. Rabbis, Jewish ethnic food, Yiddish, domineering mothers- gone the way of vaudville.

2. Homosexuality is no longer funny. Or more to the point, swishiness, sissies, pansies, fruits, "camp", male chorus lines, and ugly men in drag, are all no longer funny.

[jb_farley]

Lumpy, you obviously have never seen Mistress Shlomo of the Night, host(ess)? of Midnight Borscht. Hilarious.

jb