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furlibusea
07-28-2009, 03:59 PM
This is long, but I needed to write it.

17 years ago come September the neighbor kids brought a couple of kittens to the door of my house. They asked me if I wanted one. I didn’t really think I should but this little scrap of brown fur stole my heart right away. She was maybe 8 or 9 weeks old and I named her Cocoa, because she was about the color of good milk chocolate.

The first few days were touch and go. She was starving as well as worm and flee infested. It was maybe three days before she got enough food in her to produce a bowel movement. But, survive she did, and grew into one of the most indomitable creatures I am ever likely to know.

Cocoa brought a kind of magic with her. The night I got her is also the night I got pregnant with my daughter. The relationship had been going badly, and he walked out shortly after that, so it was pretty easy to pinpoint. I never was able to get pregnant again. Several years later, I met my current husband because of her. In some ways, most everything that is dearest in my life came to me through Cocoa.

Cocoa was fearsome. In her early years I was pretty broke so we went to a veterinary clinic where all the veterinarians were volunteers, including one of them who was a big cat vet at the zoo. I think it was him that wrote on her chart that she was dangerous, and she sure could be if she was terrified. She was an extremely capable hunter, and when she was young she mostly fed her self. While I never again will have an indoor outdoor cat, it was something to see her jump 9 feet in the air and catch a bird. Back then she would disappear for two or three days and come home when she was good and ready. If the hunting was bad she would stop at the food bowl before she took a snooze. I loved never having to worry about a mouse in the house too.

Her sense of humor bordered on mean. The next door neighbor in the first house had a yellow lab that spent a lot of time chained up outside. She used to sit washing a paw about 4 inches from where his chain maxed out. He would yip and growl and snarl and do everything he could think of short of completely hanging himself to get her but he never could. She would do it day after day. She didn’t much care about people except for us, but there was one lady up the street that she would visit every day. That woman was terrified of cats. She had the most extensive vocabulary of cat profanity I have ever run into.

Cocoa liked to hang out draped across my shoulders when I was sitting at the computer. She would swear and dig her claws in a little. She loved corn, particularly creamed corn, and chicken. She liked to stand on the toilet and watch me shower then get in after I was done to drink. Somewhere in there she taught herself to use the toilet to urinate. I have no idea how.

The last few years she has slowed down some. She would go out for a couple hours if the weather was nice and have a sun bath. Jumping got kind of difficult and she tended to climb instead. She was starting to get cataracts, and she slept more. There was nothing unexpected really. Then about a month ago she started to hide. This cat that was afraid of nothing was living in the closet. The vet couldn’t find anything wrong but it was clear something was. She didn’t want to sit in the sun, she didn’t want to eat unless I put food right in front of her and she seemed terrified of everything.

Anyway, it all ended this morning. I took her back to the vet. The once 11 pound cat was now 7 pounds, down a full pound since the last visit. The vet did an x-ray and found a very large tumor in her lungs. There was nothing to be done, except let her go.

Good bye Cocoa I hope that the mice are plentiful where you wind up.

Alice The Goon
07-28-2009, 04:04 PM
I'm sorry about your kitty. RIP, Cocoa.

BubbaDog
07-28-2009, 04:27 PM
Sorry. You lost a good one

Khadaji
07-28-2009, 05:55 PM
I am sorry to hear of your loss. Sending supporting thoughts your way.

rocking chair
07-28-2009, 06:05 PM
i'm so sorry.

there is an old wives tale that say cats steal your breath. they are very wrong. it is your heart they steal.

Infovore
07-28-2009, 07:31 PM
My condolences, furlibusea. Cocoa sounds like a wonderful friend, and it sounds like you gave her the best life a kitty could hope for.

Hanna
07-28-2009, 07:32 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful cat.

supergoose
07-28-2009, 08:09 PM
I'm really sorry things turned out this way. I was really hoping for a cure. I'm so sorry you lost your beloved Cocoa.

KSO
07-28-2009, 09:16 PM
I'm so sorry.

PapSett
07-28-2009, 11:30 PM
I am so, so sorry. It is so hard to lose them. Cocoa had a great life with you and gave you more love that most people know in a lifetime. The pawprints they leave on our hearts are deep indeed.

missred
07-28-2009, 11:45 PM
RIP, Cocoa. Scritches to my kitty friends in your honor tonight.

Celyn
07-28-2009, 11:52 PM
Sounds like quite a cat. I'm sad that you've lost her, even after a fairly good long life.

furlibusea
07-29-2009, 05:02 AM
Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. I don't know why it helps that strangers are thinking kind thoughts about Cocoa, but it does.

One of the things I found out in the x-ray is that she had a BB pellet in her. The vet says that it had probably been there for years. At the moment I am furious with the next door neighbor kid, although I have no evidence what-so-ever that he was the one who did it, except that he has a gun and they used to do target practice in their back yard. I want to go just smack the little brat upside the head, even though he runs in at about 6'5" right now and is in community college, and isn't so little or so bratty anymore.

Then again, imagine one of us living after getting hit by a bullet and not letting anyone around us know something is wrong. It also forces me to face how lucky we were to have an indoor/outdoor cat last so long.

nonacetone
07-29-2009, 06:21 AM
I'm so very sorry. You have my sincerest condolences.

Shirley Ujest
07-29-2009, 06:38 AM
She sounded like a fearsome hunter. You were a good servant to her all these years.

My condolences.

Lynn Bodoni
07-29-2009, 01:32 PM
i'm so sorry.

there is an old wives tale that say cats steal your breath. they are very wrong. it is your heart they steal. Yes. They steal hearts.

I'm sorry that you had to give her the final gift of release.

Tequila Mockingbird
07-29-2009, 02:55 PM
I'm sorry.


It sounds like you have many fond memories of Cocoa.

Shodan
07-29-2009, 03:46 PM
I'm sorry I never met Cocoa, and I don't even like cats. Vaya con Dios, kitty.

My sympathy on your loss. I would recommend you get another kitten, but only if you use birth control. ;)

Regards,
Shodan

Heart of Dorkness
07-29-2009, 05:20 PM
What an awesome kitty. I wish for you that you dream of her often.

MoodIndigo1
07-29-2009, 05:43 PM
I'm so sorry, furlibusea. Your words were heart-warming. I'm sitting here crying for the loss of your kitty, even though I know she had a long and happy life.

We are so lucky to live with pets. I can't imagine a real home without a cat, so I imagine that one day you'll give another kitty a chance at a beautiful life.

furlibusea
07-29-2009, 06:06 PM
This part of sharing our lives with these creatures is awful, but she brought such joy it is still worth it. Thank you all for your kind words.