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View Full Version : Does masterbation cause blindness?


isthatdoodoo
08-16-2009, 04:03 AM
I've been told this my entire life and while drunk i may have done it. It's been 2 days and iv'e been living in constant fear. I have not drove or left the house alone. How many times until you are blind and how long until you are blind?

bbs2k
08-16-2009, 04:09 AM
You can keep doing it until you get sore.

Argent Towers
08-16-2009, 04:09 AM
Masterbation does cause blindness. However, masturbation is completely safe. If you had just masturbated instead of masterbated, you'd be in the clear. Unfortunately, blindness is not the only symptom of masterbation; it also causes the softening of the brain tissue, artery blockage and intense physical agony over the course of several weeks, culminating in death (after which you will go to hell, because masterbation is a sin.)

jjimm
08-16-2009, 04:15 AM
:. :: .: .

Argent Towers
08-16-2009, 04:25 AM
Interesting fact: masterbation was outlawed by William the Silent in 1580. He decreed that "whosoever masterbates shall have his right hand burned off with a red-hot iron; his flesh should be torn from his bones with pincers in six different places; he should be quartered and disemboweled alive; his heart should be torn from his bosom and flung in his face, and finally, his head should be taken off."

Masturbation was tolerated and even encouraged, but the Dutch Calvinist interpretation of Leviticus viewed masterbation as being a mortal sin (as well as an affront to civil law.)

This view prevailed all the way into the early days of the United States under Dutch occupation, particularly in the territories of what is now New York, under the "patroon" system of land ownership. It's even said the death of Kilaen van Renselaar - which led to the Anti-Rent War of 1839 - was caused by masterbation.

isthatdoodoo
08-16-2009, 04:28 AM
Jiminey Crickets!! You seem like a scientist so whats the difference between a masterbater, a masturbater and a masterbaiter? nevermind, my son just told me puting q-tips in your ears makes you non of the above. Holy smokes that was close...

Argent Towers
08-16-2009, 04:32 AM
Returning to the OP:

I've been told this my entire life and while drunk i may have done it.

You may have done it?

Could you elaborate on what you mean?

Jragon
08-16-2009, 04:33 AM
Jiminey Crickets!! You seem like a scientist so whats the difference between a masterbater, a masturbater and a masterbaiter? nevermind, my son just told me puting q-tips in your ears makes you non of the above. Holy smokes that was close...

Well, masterbating involves a lamb shank, some blood, a red balloon filled with maple syrup and... hold on... *yells towards the stairs* Ma, do we still have the charts? No, the other ones!


And Masterbaiting... well *shudder* those poor squirrels.
Toke Jopic?

willthekittensurvive?
08-16-2009, 04:50 AM
only if you do it wrong

cromulent
08-16-2009, 04:51 AM
Just don't aim for your eyes and you should be ok.

Half Man Half Wit
08-16-2009, 04:54 AM
However, I've heard it said that unfortunately, the kitten won't survive. :(

Shagnasty
08-16-2009, 04:54 AM
I always close my eyes at the end and go "ah, ah, yeah baby!" and can't see a god-damned thing so I guess it does cause blindness in a way but it is temporary.

isthatdoodoo
08-16-2009, 05:07 AM
Returning to the OP:



You may have done it?

Could you elaborate on what you mean?



Well it all started last Sunday... Being Sunday I stoping by the church. And when i say stoping by the church i literally mean "by the church," i stop at the Quik Mart near it to pick up my usual bottle of privleged hennesy and rufilin. Its a little out of the way but i promised my deceased mother i would stop by the church every week. While driving home i had a headache so i took so advil and washed it down with swig of heem, i thought nothing of it since i was just 45 minutes from my humble home of residence. but before i knew it i saw the all too familiar glare of what i beleive to be police sirens. not to be caught drinking and driving, killed the bottle and through it at my tailers. i had quite the lucky through as it caused a 4 car pile up. i quickly parked in my garage and got on facebook for an iron alibi. i thought nothing of the headache so i took it upon myself to call up an escort. upon his arival, and i was quite upset it was a him, became furious and caused a sceen. i regret i was not as polite as a gentleman should have been had was not sober and had reson to cause such a fuss as im sure you agree. in my rage i struck him once or twice and a long story short he left with mess of living room for me to clean up. it was rather late so after a clean up i hit the rack and when i woke up i realized that i had no advil and was a rufi i took the night before and was man who was one q-tip short. of course before being corrected earlier i was sure placing a q-tip in one's ear was masterbation and would not for the life of me account for that q-tip. so that was how i may have masterbated. a funny note, i still don't know what happend to my q-tip lol.

Princhester
08-16-2009, 05:18 AM
Interesting fact: masterbation was outlawed by William the Silent in 1580.

Phew, I'm in the clear, because he'd be dead by now, right?

Chez Guevara
08-16-2009, 05:20 AM
Interesting fact: masterbation was outlawed by William the Silent in 1580. He decreed that "whosoever masterbates shall have his right hand burned off with a red-hot iron; his flesh should be torn from his bones with pincers in six different places; he should be quartered and disemboweled alive; his heart should be torn from his bosom and flung in his face, and finally, his head should be taken off." On the other hand, no such decree was ever promulgated by Louis the Blind (c. 880 - 928).

Jragon
08-16-2009, 05:21 AM
Wait... you did WHAT!? Q-tips? Oh no... that means.

Gah!

Whaaaats... whaaaats happening to


FOOL!

The endless abyss await the residents of this commune. The Q-tips of retribution have been used for their chosen task, the ears of fate have been purged. You, nay, humanity must pay for your sins! One soul for every gram freed and one head for every fiber of the sacred Q-tip that was lost.

And you, you most of all, the instigator of this, you shall be witness to the consequences of your actions. You should have prayed for a swift demise when you came to understand your transgressions, but it is too late, eternal torment is your prize for your part in this Mwahahahhahahahahahaha

Woah, sorry, passed out there for a second. Why are you all looking at me like that?

Stan Shmenge
08-16-2009, 05:26 AM
I wonder how these geniuses:

a) Find out about this board.

b) Think it would be a good idea to post.

c) Have the free time to complete the sign up procedure in between outings to the petting zoo with the other "Special Needs" patients.

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor
08-16-2009, 06:26 AM
. It's even said the death of Kilaen van Renselaar - which led to the Anti-Rent War of 1839 - was caused by masterbation.


You know, on any other Board, I'd assume this was jabber.

But here!?!

"The Anti-Rent War of 1839"?

Cite? Or gag?

I'll take the chance of a whoosh.

billfish678
08-16-2009, 06:49 AM
Just do it till you need glasses.

Why do you think everyone is wearing them by the time middle age hits?

I dont yet, so I guess I am still golden :)

Stauderhorse
08-16-2009, 06:55 AM
Now that's just silly.

Hey guys, did I ever show you my picture (http://marvel.com/universe3zx/images/thumb/4/4f/Blindfold442.jpg/440px-Blindfold442.jpg)?

garygnu
08-16-2009, 06:58 AM
Well it all started last Sunday... Being Sunday I stoping by the church. And when i say stoping by the church i literally mean "by the church," i stop at the Quik Mart near it to pick up my usual bottle of privleged hennesy and rufilin. Its a little out of the way but i promised my deceased mother i would stop by the church every week. While driving home i had a headache so i took so advil and washed it down with swig of heem, i thought nothing of it since i was just 45 minutes from my humble home of residence. but before i knew it i saw the all too familiar glare of what i beleive to be police sirens. not to be caught drinking and driving, killed the bottle and through it at my tailers. i had quite the lucky through as it caused a 4 car pile up. i quickly parked in my garage and got on facebook for an iron alibi. i thought nothing of the headache so i took it upon myself to call up an escort. upon his arival, and i was quite upset it was a him, became furious and caused a sceen. i regret i was not as polite as a gentleman should have been had was not sober and had reson to cause such a fuss as im sure you agree. in my rage i struck him once or twice and a long story short he left with mess of living room for me to clean up. it was rather late so after a clean up i hit the rack and when i woke up i realized that i had no advil and was a rufi i took the night before and was man who was one q-tip short. of course before being corrected earlier i was sure placing a q-tip in one's ear was masterbation and would not for the life of me account for that q-tip. so that was how i may have masterbated. a funny note, i still don't know what happend to my q-tip lol.

I like you.

Maastricht
08-16-2009, 09:08 AM
At the risk of being taken in:

isthatdoodoo, no, masturbation (jerking off, masturbation, whatever it is called) does not cause blindness. Or madness. Or anything bad. It only causes a feeling of relief, and allows you to take your mind a bit off sex for a while. You can do it safely up to 3 times a day. Any more, and your penis may get a little bit sore. If that happens, don't masturbate for a couple days and all will be well again. Masturbation goes better if you use a lubricant like non-scented massage-oil or (hand)cream or KY-jelly.

About 95 percent of all guys masturbates at least a couple times a month, and that includes all the men in your church. Married men masturbate. Teenagers masturbate. Even animals masturbate. About 60 % of women have ever masturbated till orgasm.

Now, stop worrying about masturbating. And don't ever drink and drive again, because that will lead to accidents which can hurt you, or someone else, badly.

Shagnasty
08-16-2009, 09:54 AM
Well it all started last Sunday... Being Sunday I stoping by the church. And when i say stoping by the church i literally mean "by the church," i stop at the Quik Mart near it to pick up my usual bottle of privleged hennesy and rufilin. Its a little out of the way but i promised my deceased mother i would stop by the church every week. While driving home i had a headache so i took so advil and washed it down with swig of heem, i thought nothing of it since i was just 45 minutes from my humble home of residence. but before i knew it i saw the all too familiar glare of what i beleive to be police sirens. not to be caught drinking and driving, killed the bottle and through it at my tailers. i had quite the lucky through as it caused a 4 car pile up. i quickly parked in my garage and got on facebook for an iron alibi. i thought nothing of the headache so i took it upon myself to call up an escort. upon his arival, and i was quite upset it was a him, became furious and caused a sceen. i regret i was not as polite as a gentleman should have been had was not sober and had reson to cause such a fuss as im sure you agree. in my rage i struck him once or twice and a long story short he left with mess of living room for me to clean up. it was rather late so after a clean up i hit the rack and when i woke up i realized that i had no advil and was a rufi i took the night before and was man who was one q-tip short. of course before being corrected earlier i was sure placing a q-tip in one's ear was masterbation and would not for the life of me account for that q-tip. so that was how i may have masterbated. a funny note, i still don't know what happend to my q-tip lol.

You are my hero and should serve as a role-model to others.

nikonikosuru
08-16-2009, 10:13 AM
I don't know if it's the weather or what but summer definitely seems to bring out the most interesting of threads.

Malacandra
08-16-2009, 10:21 AM
i accidentally a whole packet of q tips

Harmonious Discord
08-16-2009, 11:19 AM
It can cause you to have a stroke and go blind. It can cause hypoglycemia from exercising and that can make you go blind over time.

KlondikeGeoff
08-16-2009, 11:59 AM
It can cause you to have a stroke and go blind. It can cause hypoglycemia from exercising and that can make you go blind over time.
It also will make you grow hair on the palms of your hands.

Fear Itself
08-16-2009, 12:12 PM
it was rather late so after a clean up i hit the rack and when i woke up i realized that i had no advil and was a rufi i took the night before and was man who was one q-tip short. of course before being corrected earlier i was sure placing a q-tip in one's ear was masterbation and would not for the life of me account for that q-tip. Are you sure that was a q-tip you put in your ear?

Chessic Sense
08-16-2009, 01:13 PM
Sometimes, when I'm feeling lonely, I look up some hookers on Craigslist. I find one I like- nice picture, hot post- and note her phone number and price. Then I start masturbating, and right at the end, I moan "Penny saved, penny earned, bitch!"

I've earned, like, $1500 this week. And it's only Sunday.

Heffalump and Roo
08-16-2009, 01:24 PM
Are you sure that was a q-tip you put in your ear?
As opposed to:

Are you sure that was your ear that you put the q-tip in?

Sometimes, when I'm feeling lonely, I look up some hookers on Craigslist. I find one I like- nice picture, hot post- and note her phone number and price. Then I start masturbating, and right at the end, I moan "Penny saved, penny earned, bitch!"

I've earned, like, $1500 this week. And it's only Sunday.
Wow, great money-making plan! That advice must be worth a fortune. :p

Diogenes the Cynic
08-16-2009, 01:33 PM
You won't really go blind, but if you find yourself acquiring a taste for sushi and bizarre game shows, you should go to a doctor immediately.

eleanorigby
08-16-2009, 03:03 PM
i accidentally a whole packet of q tips

Oops--you'll need more than just a swig of heem for that.

wierdaaron
08-16-2009, 03:18 PM
I realize this thread is a joke, but the false belief of yore that masturbation causes, well, anything is an utter failure of logic.

The reason masturbation works in the first place is that the body can't tell whether it's having real or simulated intercourse. That being the case, how could masturbation have one biological effect that god-fearing missionary position man-and-wife intercourse wouldn't have? If the goodie-bits could somehow detect ones own hand and activate some kind of blindness/hairy palms/acne defense mechanism, why wouldn't it just deactivate the orgasm reflex?

Surely you'd have to expect that if masturbation could actually cause blindness, via some kind of penile-ocular connection, there would have to be a significant risk of accidental blindness during pastor-approved sex.

eleanorigby
08-16-2009, 03:55 PM
Whilst I cannot speak to the conclusions my learned colleague has posited here, I do feel the need to interject that there is indeed a penile-ocular connection. The end result may not be blindness, but it does exist....
:p

carnivorousplant
08-16-2009, 04:52 PM
Barkeep? I'll have what the OP is drinking.

Jragon
08-16-2009, 05:26 PM
I realize this thread is a joke, but the false belief of yore that masturbation causes, well, anything is an utter failure of logic.

The reason masturbation works in the first place is that the body can't tell whether it's having real or simulated intercourse. That being the case, how could masturbation have one biological effect that god-fearing missionary position man-and-wife intercourse wouldn't have? If the goodie-bits could somehow detect ones own hand and activate some kind of blindness/hairy palms/acne defense mechanism, why wouldn't it just deactivate the orgasm reflex?

Surely you'd have to expect that if masturbation could actually cause blindness, via some kind of penile-ocular connection, there would have to be a significant risk of accidental blindness during pastor-approved sex.

I'm tellin' you man, it's that danged no-good Coriolis Effect again. Does strange things, that one.

i accidentally a whole packet of q tips

I don't quite understand WHAT did yo... waitwaitwait, you're not getting me, I've seen this movie before.

freckafree
08-16-2009, 05:36 PM
Just do it till you need glasses.

Why do you think everyone is wearing them by the time middle age hits?

I dont yet, so I guess I am still golden :)

I read this as, "Just do it until you fill a glass."

I think I need to get my glasses adjusted.

twickster
08-16-2009, 06:09 PM
Just do it till you need glasses.

Why do you think everyone is wearing them by the time middle age hits?

I dont yet, so I guess I am still golden :)

I read this as, "Just do it until you fill a glass."

I think I need to get my glasses adjusted.

Q.E.D.

sjc
08-16-2009, 06:22 PM
I realize this thread is a joke, but the false belief of yore that masturbation causes, well, anything is an utter failure of logic.

The reason masturbation works in the first place is that the body can't tell whether it's having real or simulated intercourse. That being the case, how could masturbation have one biological effect that god-fearing missionary position man-and-wife intercourse wouldn't have? If the goodie-bits could somehow detect ones own hand and activate some kind of blindness/hairy palms/acne defense mechanism, why wouldn't it just deactivate the orgasm reflex?

Surely you'd have to expect that if masturbation could actually cause blindness, via some kind of penile-ocular connection, there would have to be a significant risk of accidental blindness during pastor-approved sex.

My take on it is that either one can cause you to go blind, but masturbation will usually make it happen more quickly because you can do it more often. Note that I don't actually believe this, but I think that many people who have problem with masturbation also consider sex a bit unwholesome too.

Mangetout
08-16-2009, 07:05 PM
When you pushed the Q Tip in your ear, you should probably have stopped when you encountered resistance.

Shagnasty
08-16-2009, 07:06 PM
My take on it is that either one can cause you to go blind, but masturbation will usually make it happen more quickly because you can do it more often. Note that I don't actually believe this, but I think that many people who have problem with masturbation also consider sex a bit unwholesome too.

Syphilis can make you go blind so hanging out in Red Light districts may not be they best way to preserve your eyesight as a practical alternative to masturbation. Masturbation can definitely make you go blind in the sense that being dead doesn't allow you to see. Just ask the people that die every year from auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Fear Itself
08-16-2009, 08:13 PM
When you pushed the Q Tip in your ear, you should probably have stopped when you encountered resistance.I don't think he ever did.

freckafree
08-16-2009, 08:26 PM
Q.E.D.

:D

carnivorousplant
08-16-2009, 08:42 PM
Just ask the people that die every year from auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Now, how is he going to ask them if they are dead? :)

wierdaaron
08-16-2009, 08:53 PM
Now, how is he going to ask them if they are dead? :)
It's poor form to assume certain people can't communicate.

Just ask Helen Keller.

Typo Knig
08-16-2009, 09:08 PM
Authoritative answer in this post. :D

carnivorousplant
08-16-2009, 09:10 PM
It's poor form to assume certain people can't communicate.

Just ask Helen Keller.

Tacky, very tacky. :dubious:

wierdaaron
08-16-2009, 09:23 PM
Sorry, I thought this thread was in the BBQ Pit because of the, err, everything.

Dallas Jones
08-16-2009, 09:28 PM
I am unable to read this thread.

Uncle Brother Walker
08-16-2009, 09:48 PM
This is why ghosts are real... or at least I think they are.

:D

carnivorousplant
08-16-2009, 10:18 PM
Wait a minute...Ghosts jack...er, masterbait?

KRC
08-16-2009, 11:05 PM
Pet cockatiel accidentally a whole package of q-tips. Cockatiel masturbated. Cockatiel to eye vet, see better than I do and I never a whole package of q-tips.

Oh, and trout fisherman are master baiters.

The Second Stone
08-16-2009, 11:23 PM
It causes vision impairment, not complete blindness. I had perfect vision when I started masturbating as a teen. Now, rapidly approaching 50, I still masturbate almost daily (some days I just don't care as much about it, a sign of middle age for sure) but my vision is complete crap. I don't even try to see without eyeglasses anymore. I can categorically state, however, that my palms have no hair growing from them.

elfkin477
08-16-2009, 11:40 PM
However, I've heard it said that unfortunately, the kitten won't survive. :(
On the plus side, the rabbit will.

Der Trihs
08-16-2009, 11:58 PM
It can cause you to have a stroke and go blind. It can cause hypoglycemia from exercising and that can make you go blind over time.It also will make you grow hair on the palms of your hands.And since hairy palms are a telltale sign of being a werewolf, you'll have even more problems. No doubt this explains why there is so much random violence; all those blind werewolves created by masturbation.

lawoot
08-17-2009, 12:13 AM
OK fellow Dopers, I know that you tell yourself that Masturbating hasn't cause you any Ocular Damage, but are you sure?

chowder
08-17-2009, 01:26 AM
I realize this thread is a joke, but the false belief of yore that masturbation causes, well, anything is an utter failure of logic.

The reason masturbation works in the first place is that the body can't tell whether it's having real or simulated intercourse. .

I can assure you that my body would most definitely know if I was having a swift one off the wrist or if I was giving Halle Berry a savage rogering

Not that I've ever given Halle Berry one, but I can dream

eleanorigby
08-17-2009, 07:07 AM
It causes vision impairment, not complete blindness. I had perfect vision when I started masturbating as a teen. Now, rapidly approaching 50, I still masturbate almost daily (some days I just don't care as much about it, a sign of middle age for sure) but my vision is complete crap. I don't even try to see without eyeglasses anymore. I can categorically state, however, that my palms have no hair growing from them.

How do you know for sure--you said yourself you can't see all that well. I bet there are fine hairs sprouting on your palms right NOW! :p

Shagnasty
08-17-2009, 07:13 AM
Don't ask me how I know but a friend told me that if you are exceptionally talented, you can hit your own eyeball with semen while masturbating. It burns like hell too. I guess if you are really, really good you could take out both eyes at once.

Jragon
08-17-2009, 07:14 AM
How do you know for sure--you said yourself you can't see all that well. I bet there are fine hairs sprouting on your palms right NOW! :p

You know, now that you mention it, it all makes sense. What? No! I meant Spider-man. Spider bite my arse, the movie clearly showed he could crawl up walls due to several microscopic hairs growing on his hands. The Spider bite just hurt, poor kid was just lonely and kept watching MJ next door and, well, you can figure out the rest.

billfish678
08-17-2009, 09:05 AM
How do you know for sure--you said yourself you can't see all that well. I bet there are fine hairs sprouting on your palms right NOW! :p

You bet they are!

It kinda like shaving, once you start you gotta keep doing it because it grows back thicker, and you have to shave even more and its gets thicker still. A positive (yet negative) feedback loop.


Once you start the rosey palm and her five sister's routine, you have the same problem. Them hairs start growing, but a good rubing takes them off. It also stimulates more of them to grow and grow thicker.

Contrary to popular belief, the frequency of this activity increases through a mans lifetime. He can't let his palms get hairy lest the other guys see it (even though they do it too). If the wymen folk see it, the guy will never get another date.

It slowly gets worse and worse. Thats why retirement was invented. Its why old men are hairier. Some geezer from Nantucket is why men now have all that ear hair. Towards the end it becomes a nearly full time activity to keep the hair from taking over. Thats why old men usually end up living by themselves out in the boonies. Its not old age that kills em. Its a heart attack, exhaustion, or starvation. Once it a great while some guy lives long enough that he must do it full time just to keep the hair at bay. At that point, the only thing left to do is increase the intensity. Well, friction causes heat. These rare cases are well know in the inner circles of knowledge as the real cause of spontaneous human combustion.

Sometimes a guy will just totally give up. The hair takes over. These rare cases are thought to explain Bigfoot sightings.

And folks often wonder why humans even have hair, particularly down there. All that hair is basically an STD. It started only in the palms and us horny cursed primates just spread it around.

If whales or dolphins ever evolve hands, they will get hairy too. Its a known scientific fact. Think about it. Every living thing with a hand is hairy. Now you know why. And the critters that don't have hands yet are hairy? Well ,their ancestors got buggered by our horny and hairy ancestors.

MeanOldLady
08-17-2009, 09:12 AM
Alls I know is my contact lens prescription is -5.

cromulent
08-17-2009, 06:08 PM
Alls I know is my contact lens prescription is -5.

You dirty girl, you.

chique
08-21-2009, 01:48 AM
:. :: .: .I love you. :D

Sigmagirl
08-21-2009, 08:27 AM
Interesting fact: masterbation was outlawed by William the Silent in 1580. He decreed that "whosoever masterbates shall have his right hand burned off with a red-hot iron; his flesh should be torn from his bones with pincers in six different places; he should be quartered and disemboweled alive; his heart should be torn from his bosom and flung in his face, and finally, his head should be taken off."

Masturbation was tolerated and even encouraged, but the Dutch Calvinist interpretation of Leviticus viewed masterbation as being a mortal sin (as well as an affront to civil law.)

This view prevailed all the way into the early days of the United States under Dutch occupation, particularly in the territories of what is now New York, under the "patroon" system of land ownership. It's even said the death of Kilaen van Renselaar - which led to the Anti-Rent War of 1839 - was caused by masterbation.

:: admiringly :: And to think you typed all that with only your left hand!!

p.s. Since when do police sirens glare?

Smeghead
08-21-2009, 09:40 AM
"Let me come. I can see perfectly."

kopek
08-21-2009, 10:23 AM
OK -- someone has to say it -- remember children, its all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

Mighty_Girl
08-23-2009, 02:23 AM
I've been told this my entire life and while drunk i may have done it. It's been 2 days and iv'e been living in constant fear. I have not drove or left the house alone. How many times until you are blind and how long until you are blind? My Text-to-Speech software must be acting up again, because this question makes no damn sense.

Der Trihs
08-23-2009, 04:43 AM
My Text-to-Speech software must be acting up again, because this question makes no damn sense.Masturbation clearly causes dain bramage as well. Makes you rite no good no more.

Polycarp
08-23-2009, 02:34 PM
Wait a minute...Ghosts jack...er, masterbait?

Where do you think all that ectoplasm comes from? :)

Polycarp
08-23-2009, 02:36 PM
You know, now that you mention it, it all makes sense. What? No! I meant Spider-man. Spider bite my arse, the movie clearly showed he could crawl up walls due to several microscopic hairs growing on his hands. The Spider bite just hurt, poor kid was just lonely and kept watching MJ next door and, well, you can figure out the rest.

He had to explain that white sticky stuff on his palms somehow!

wierdaaron
08-23-2009, 03:01 PM
Blindness or not, it can be a pretty useful weight loss technique.

Don't believe me? Weigh yourself, perform above-mentioned exercise, and then weigh yourself again. You'll have lost at least 0.11 ounces.

The Second Stone
08-24-2009, 01:17 AM
How do you know for sure--you said yourself you can't see all that well. I bet there are fine hairs sprouting on your palms right NOW! :p

There's nothing wrong with my sense of touch, and I don't see or feel and hairs on my palms. I'm covered in hair all over my body except for my palms, soles and "bald spot" on the top back of my head.

Jelymag
08-24-2009, 10:26 AM
Blindness or not, it can be a pretty useful weight loss technique.

Don't believe me? Weigh yourself, perform above-mentioned exercise, and then weigh yourself again. You'll have lost at least 0.11 ounces.

Wow...so if you could manage 160 times a week, you'll have lost a pound...?

yikes.

Silophant
08-24-2009, 06:23 PM
That's not even once an hour. No problemo.

Bam Boo Gut
08-24-2009, 07:29 PM
My optician asked me to stop masturbating. I told him surely it's an old wives tale about wanking making you go blind. He explained that it doesn't make you blind - but it's upsetting everyone else in the waiting room. :eek:

carnivorousplant
08-24-2009, 09:56 PM
but it's upsetting everyone else in the waiting room. :eek:

I award two points to Bam Boo Gut, for Best Post in the thread.