Eyebrow raising purchase combinations

[Velma]

So I was at the store today and I remembered my husband asked me to buy KY. Also there was a sale on a new boxed wine that I had heard was actually ok. So I find myself with a box of wine and lubricant in my cart. "I think I shall use the self check-out" I thought to myself.

What have you found yourself (legitimately, not as a joke, buying together?)

I also once bought a bottle of wine and a pregnancy test. I was covered either way.

[runner pat]

Not me but one time the guy ahead of me was buying laundry detergent and Imodium.

[dragonlady]

I saw someone buy a pregnancy test and condoms.....!

[imfloating]

A Very overwight woman buying 2% milk and chocolate syrup.

[CaveMike]

A Very overwight woman buying 2% milk and chocolate syrup.Instead of what? Whole milk? Skim milk? I don't get it.

[Siam Sam]

I was just thinking about this the other day and chuckling over one I made in Hawaii. I had already lived for some time in Thailand before that. A friend who had also lived in Thailand way back when was passing through Honolulu on his way to a Thailand vacation. He stayed at my place in Honolulu.

Now, this is a really nice guy. Despite his years of ripping through Thailand's red-light districts, he has managed to maintain a certain childlike innocence. (He once in Thailand went on a bender after discovering his Thai-language teacher, whom he was about to propose marriage to, told him she could not be his teacher anymore, because she had agreed to go be some married rich man's mistress on the side.)

So my friend is in Honolulu now, and he's asking me if I think he should stock up on condoms there in Hawaii. I said it couldn't hurt, especially if he needed a, er, larger size. We were also out of beer. So off we go to the nearby grocery store, where I am a regular, to buy some beer. The store closes at 1am; this is about midnight. We pick up some beer and head to the counter, when suddenly my friend grabs a large box of condoms.

So there we are, in my regular grocery store: two men, at midnight, buying a couple six-packs of beer and a very large box of condoms. My friend thinks nothing of this; I'm ducking my head down hoping not to be recognized.

[Sage Rat]

This was totally not eyebrow raising in any way, but it still caused me to swallow a laugh.

A lady was buying a couple of melons. Rather than holding them monkey-style in her armpits, she decided to cradle her melons...right over he melons. I turn and see this plump, older lady with two fine melons adorning her chest and near about die resisting the urge to complement her on the quality of the fine orbs she cradles pon her bust.

"Hey, that's a nice pair a melons you got there."

[Hilarity N. Suze]

Every time I buy duct tape, it produces an odd combination.

[Siam Sam]

Every time I buy duct tape, it produces an odd combination.

Try buying it with a hamster next time. :D

[wierdaaron]

One time I bought a funnel and a length of clear, plastic tubing at the hardware store, so I could run the tube down the trunk of a Christmas tree and water it without having to crawl down under the branches.

I bet they thought I was making a beer bong.

[Sebastienne]

I wanted nitrile gloves (my mom's allergic to latex, I don't want to become so) to wear while painting. I can usually only find miserable, non-stretchy vinyl gloves outside of the drugstore, and hadn't yet had a chance to go out and buy any. Because hanging out and discussing pro-wrestling over beer with one's dearest guy friend comes before errands, y'know.

Said dearest guy friend, after said evening out, driving me back to my place (he doesn't drink), recalled that he had promised his lady at home he'd pick up some Astroglide. He grabbed the mega-economy sized bottle, being a thrifty sort.

Meanwhile, I've staggered tipsily over to the gloves, and am holding the boxes up to eyelevel attempting to ascertain which are the ones I've been wanting. I find them, and twirl back to my friend. I tell him I can pay him back as soon as I get home, to which he readily agrees.

Then he gets to the counter, and realizes he's holding a giant bottle of lubricant, a box of surgical gloves, and has a giggling blonde hanging onto him. (To stay upright!)

He was mortified. Cue handing the clerk the box of gloves, letting him ring, bag, and ask "is that all?" before handing over the lube.

I was sent into hysterics. Not by the implication, but by his obvious, extreme embarrassment. For love's sake, the man works in the porn biz.

[Indian]

I read this in readers digest long ago.

A reader had wriiten his experience in a similar situation.

He bought a pair of running shoes for him and undergarments for his wife .

The cashier asked " Is it the thrill of the chase " ? ;)

[MsWhatsit]

We once bought four containers of lye and a container of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

The checker said, "Now, don't get those confused."

[GameHat]

I still hate buying condoms from an actual person.

Self-Check all the way. That way, you know, they aren't...judging me.

Cashier thinks to herself, "Twelve condoms, eh? That'll last you, what, 3 years? Or is it 4?"

Even worse when the cashier isn't old enough to ring up alcohol.

"I got a 21 on lane 3. He's buying condoms and liquor. Not sure what the condoms are for, maybe "practice". With himself. I mean masturbation. No way this guy is getting with a woman. And I should know."

Yes, self-checkout is the only way to go.

[ShibbOleth]

I like to buy candy, apples, razor blades and straight pins in October.

[ftg]

A few weeks ago saw a little old lady with a few standard items such as lunch meat and 10 bottles of hydrogen peroxide. 10 bottles? What do you need 10 bottles for?

[EvilTOJ]

I put onto the checkout counter a large jug of cranberry juice and monistat 7. I'm a guy, and I was buying for what's-her-name at home who was having, ah, lady problems. The woman cashier had just come on shift and stopped for just one second to look at everything, then rang everything up. I said,

"Missus at home's having plumbing problems."

She said "Yea those things can be a real pain the butt."

I said, completely deadpan, "Well it's a pain in the something, alright."

She stopped ringing things up again, probably to keep from exploding into laughter.

[willthekittensurvive?]

Some comic once listed as her favourite activity:

Loading a obscene amount of booze and two kartons of baby formula onto the conveyer belt at the checkout of her local supermarket, and after consulting her wallet putting the baby formula back on the rack

[gigi]

I turn and see this plump, older lady with two fine melons adorning her chest and near about die resisting the urge to complement her on the quality of the fine orbs she cradles pon her bust.

"Hey, that's a nice pair a melons you got there."

[At the grocery store]
Man: Wow, Lois Griffin, Hey, I love your act! Nice melons.
Peter Griffin: Now listen pal!
Lois Griffin: Peter, I'm holding melons.
Peter Griffin: Oh.
Man: And her hooters ain't bad either.
Peter Griffon: Now hold on a second.
Lois Griffin [holding a pair of owls]: Peter! I'm holding hooters!
Peter Griffin: Oh, sorry.
Man: No problem. [pause] Man: Your wife's hot.
Peter Griffin: All right that's it!

[LilyoftheValley]

About two years ago, I was in line behind two gentlemen in office-casual dress around 5:30 pm. They were together but rang up their purchases separately. Each man was buying four 2-lb bags of green bell peppers, and 3 bottles of liquid fabric softener. Nothing else.

No sexual innuendo or anything, just seemed very bizarre to me. They were discussing their purchases with each other, but tragically it was in a foreign language so I couldn't eavesdrop.

[Sigmagirl]

Someone can't read a recipe.

[janeslogin]

I was once actually questioned by a checkout person when I bought four large NyQuil. I was working off a shopping list for seniors who had transportation problems and several four thought they needed NyQuil.

[Joey P]

Not an odd combo, but an odd quantity. We have a slightly creepy guy that shops at our store, a few weeks ago I saw him at the local megamart buying 6 gallons of bleach.

[kunilou]

I can't say I was surprised, because it was at a 7-11, but I couldn't help but laugh the day I stood in line behind the guy who bought two 40-oz. cans of beer, a box of condoms and a pack of Marlboro's.

[Sailboat]

I was with a friend buying food for a barbecue. We shoved a pile of guy-type food up onto the conveyor, and then he remembered he was out of toilet paper, so he darted off and grabbed a twelve-pack and tossed it on the pile.

When the checker started ringing him up, he leaned toward her and inquired in a casual tone, "In your professional opinion, is this the right amount of toilet paper for this much food?"

:)

[MissTake]

It's not uncommon for TheKid to ask me to buy her a teen magazine when I go shopping. I also have taken to buying Gerber baby food (meat only) for the cat. Add that that, we are of the "Duct tape fixes everything" mindset, and go through it pretty quickly.

Yes, I do receive odd looks from cashiers.

[aruvqan]

A few weeks ago saw a little old lady with a few standard items such as lunch meat and 10 bottles of hydrogen peroxide. 10 bottles? What do you need 10 bottles for?

removing stains from marble topped tables - like coffee cup rings, or anything that gets spilled.

My mom has 18 marble topped tables/cabinets.sideboards....

We used to have more when we lived in a very large queen anne style house (http://www.homefinder.com/NY/Perry/39961560d_108_North_Main_St)

We moved from that into a standard cookie cutter tract house with 3 bedrooms. Thank god for basements and attics...but we had one hell of an auction before we moved...

[imfloating]

Instead of what? Whole milk? Skim milk? I don't get it.

What's the point of drinking 2% if your going to add chocolate syrup.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought 2% was like diet milk.

[matt_mcl]

A few Christmas Eves ago, I was unexpectedly confronted with the (new) expectation that I would be contributing to the others' Christmas stockings. So, with the rest of the family out of the house, I skedaddled down to the 24-hour depanneur to stock up on candy.

While there, I happened to come across a box of the straight razor blades I need for my stovetop scraper, and which at the time I was finding difficult to find elsewhere. So I added them to the pile.

They were from that little dry-goods stand they hardly ever sell anything from, so the clerk didn't recognize them and asked me what they were.

"Razor blades," I said absently.

*disturbed look* "Merry Christmas."

LOL! "I'm emo, but I'm not that emo," I told her.

[Sonnenstrahl]

What's the point of drinking 2% if your going to add chocolate syrup.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought 2% was like diet milk.

2% is standard, as far as I know. :confused: If you buy chocolate milk premixed, it's either 1 or 2%. Do you normally drink half and half?

[gigi]

2% has less fat, and chocolate syrup doesn't have any fat (it has sugar). She may have been cutting back on fat but having a sugary treat.

[Ferret Herder]

What's the point of drinking 2% if your going to add chocolate syrup.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought 2% was like diet milk.
Barely. Whole milk is around 3% butterfat.

[Vinyl Turnip]

Razor blades and a small mirror. As I was checking out, a friend grabbed a few straws from a dispenser on the concession stand counter. I then realized a) we were being stared at by more than one Piggly Wiggly employee who'd apparently connected the dots, and b) I probably shouldn't have brought the contraband into the store in my jacket pocket.

Ah, college.

[Sailboat]

Barely. Whole milk is around 3% butterfat.

That's 50% more fat.

[Ferret Herder]

That's 50% more fat.
Ya know, I should remember that, being a Wisconsinite by birth. Shows you how much milk I drink these days.

Then again, 2% is typically criticized as being too fatty for most people (aside from growing kids who aren't overweight) to be drinking.

[Joey P]

Ya know, I should remember that, being a Wisconsinite by birth. Shows you how much milk I drink these days.

Then again, 2% is typically criticized as being too fatty for most people (aside from growing kids who aren't overweight) to be drinking.

I prefer 2%. I can drink skim if it's all that's around, but other then that it's too watery for me and makes awful chocolate milk. It just doesn't mix properly with Hershey's.

[Push You Down]

Me:
Rope.
Gloves.
Bleach.
Duct Tape.
Carving Knife.

Why yes, I did look totally like a serial killer.


Rose McGowan at the grocery store behind me in line:

Band-aids (spongebob).
Low-fat yogurt.
minature novelty Laker's basketball
Durex Long Last Condoms.

[wierdaaron]

Skim milk, if anything, would be "diet milk." 2% is probably the most common, but I don't likes it. Too.. fatty tasting. If they have it, I go with 1/2% or 1%.

Sidenote: My dad, who doesn't drink milk, has always thought that the percentages didn't represent the amount of fat, but the amount of milk. So, "2% milk" is actually 2% milk, like diluted with water, I suppose, in the same way a bottle with 2oz of Pepsi and 198oz of water would be 2% Pepsi. Lordy knows what he thought skim milk is.

[MissMossie]

Shortly after my niece was born and I was staying with my sister to help with the new baby I felt odd buy a six pack of beer and several different types of bottle nipples.

Just this past Sunday, I purchased a bottle of wine and a tup of Cool-Whip.

[Shodan]

Shortly after my niece was born and I was staying with my sister to help with the new baby I felt odd buy a six pack of beer and several different types of bottle nipples.I beliee the correct thing to say to the clerk is "don't laugh, at least he sleeps thru the night."

Regards,
Shodan

[RandMcnally]

I hatebuying condoms so when I do I buy a lot at a time. I also have a huge sweettooth and I usually end up buying candy whenever I'm in a store.

So yeah, I checkedout with a couple of boxes of condoms and a lot of candy.

[TruCelt]

A friend of mine got a job at the local drug store in high school. She quit after her first customer came through with a Hustler magazine and a tub of petroleum jelly.

[imfloating]

2% is standard, as far as I know. :confused: If you buy chocolate milk premixed, it's either 1 or 2%. Do you normally drink half and half?

Actually, yes. My wife drinks organic whole milk and I drink half and half. I was under the impression that 2% was some watered down chalky tasting milk wannabe. I drink half and half in coffee or when eating cold cereal. I drink regular whole milk with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

[Lady of the Lake]

Actually, yes. My wife drinks organic whole milk and I drink half and half. I was under the impression that 2% was some watered down chalky tasting milk wannabe. I drink half and half in coffee or when eating cold cereal. I drink regular whole milk with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Wow, it had never occurred to me that one could use Half and Half in cereal. Half and Half always means 'making soup or sauces' to me.

But then, I grew up on skim milk and have always viewed whole, 1%, 2% etc...as the 'fattening milks' without differentiating between them.

If I'm buying weird stuff I usually just add more to my load, to hide the strangeness. Does anyone else add in fruits and vegetables that they're probably not going to eat when they're on a Doritos and candy run? :)

[Gus Gusterson]

On Christmas morning last year, I bought Astroglide and batteries at CVS. I still wonder what the clerk thought about that.

The two items were unrelated - the batteries were for the kids' new toys and I bought the Astroglide because I needed to buy something to take advantage of a deal which made the batteries cheaper. I was out of Astroglide, so that's what I chose to buy.

[wierdaaron]

Jesus. Half and half is... it's so much fat. Calories. Lots of them. There's a reason they come in those tiny little cups at diners.

Better than using heavy whipping cream, I guess, but dayum.

[MsWhatsit]

Yeah, I can't get past this. Someone drinks half-and-half. Like, straight. That's just... blurrrrrrgh.

[Tikki]

While I was working at 7-11, one well-read customer bought a kiddy-type comic book and a Playboy.

[Carol the Impaler]

Buncha my gal pals (all upper Midwest gals), bridesmaids in a friend's wedding in North Carolina.

Off to the local Wal-Mart, and then after shopping checking out with:

A bunch of little silk flowers.
Condoms.
Disposable cameras.
Vaseline.
And vitamin C.

[MeanOldLady]

Back in the old country (California), you could buy liquor at the grocery store and most convenience stores. I would buy liquor with most purchases.

Liquor and tampons.
Liquor and Ziploc bags.
Liquor and vitamins.

I don't know if any of this is eyebrow raising, but that's pretty much how every trip to Albertsons went.

[The Devil's Grandmother]

If I'm buying weird stuff I usually just add more to my load, to hide the strangeness. Does anyone else add in fruits and vegetables that they're probably not going to eat when they're on a Doritos and candy run? :)
:o Busted! I'll also buy a few extra things when I'm buying tampons or pads.
I think the oddest combination I've bought was the time I was teaching a class on foods considered to be aphrodisiacs in the middle ages, but fortunately, I don't think the clerk noticed.

[Ferret Herder]

If I'm buying weird stuff I usually just add more to my load, to hide the strangeness. Does anyone else add in fruits and vegetables that they're probably not going to eat when they're on a Doritos and candy run? :)
My husband and I should have. Last time we bought beer at the supermarket, we bought a few 12-packs' worth to stock up, and some snack-type foods. The cashier asked if we were having a party. Nope, just alcoholics by your estimation, I guess?

[kathmandu]

Jesus. Half and half is... it's so much fat. Calories. Lots of them. There's a reason they come in those tiny little cups at diners.

Better than using heavy whipping cream, I guess, but dayum.

It's not that unusual to use half and half in cereal - you can still buy "cereal cream" here, and it's 10% milk fat, the same as half and half.

[Shirley Ujest]

A bottle of tequila. Not for me.
A Summer sausage log. for the guys
A really big cuke. for a salad.

And lottery tickets. me.

[Projammer]

A bottle of tequila. Not for me.
A Summer sausage log. for the guys
A really big cuke. for a salad.

And lottery tickets. me.

Along those lines..

Cucumbers. For the salad. Forgotten by the SO earlier.
Condoms. SO didn't know we were out.

Will almost always get a raised eyebrow.

[Velma]

A bottle of tequila. Not for me.
A Summer sausage log. for the guys
A really big cuke. for a salad.

And lottery tickets. me.

Homer: Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields, and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas... eh, make it two.
Later...
Marge seeing Homer's purchases: I don't know what you've got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out.

[salinqmind]

All this talk about milk makes me realize it's been YEARS since I drank regular whole milk. I may fall off the wagon and buy some this weekend.

On Thanksgiving day before the grocery store closed, I bought a frozen dinner (just to use a triple coupon before it expired), and a big bottle of fancy imported beer we wanted for a guest coming over that day. Those were two sad looking items, and would have looked even sadder if the frozen dinner had been turkey.

[SCSimmons]

Wow--that many posts, and nobody mentioned this (http://xkcd.com/236/)?

That has either the best or worst mouseover joke I've seen in XKCD ... "Fun game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier. Winner: pregnancy test and single coathanger."

[River Hippie]

Back in the audio cassette days I used to use q-tips and isopropyl alcohol to clean the heads in the tape deck. One Sunday afternoon I went up to the grocery to replenish my iso-alcohol supply and while there remembered I didn't have anything to drink at home so I grabbed a big jug of fruit juice. Put it on the counter and got a really weird look from the cashier. Walking home I realized that she must have thought I was going to drink it. See, my state does not allow (drinking) alcohol sales on Sunday. A desperate alcoholic might try to drink isopropyl mixed with something.

[psychobunny]

This reminds me of a Davis Sedaris article in the New Yorker. He is shopping at a big box store with his brother-in-law and buys a large amount of condoms to give out at book signings. Realizing that they look like a gay couple, he asks his brother-in-law to find another item. The BIL comes back with a flat of strawberries, leading Sedaris to comment This somehow made us look even gayer. "After anal sex, we like shortcake!" read the cartoon bubble now floating over our heads.

[Captain Carrot]

Condoms to give out at book signings? What kind of books does he write?

[psychobunny]

Condoms to give out at book signings? What kind of books does he write?


The kind of books where readers would be amused to be handed a condom with a signed book copy. Seriously, check him out.

[BaneSidhe]

I had to make a run to Wal-Mart awhile back to buy several large bottles of mineral oil and Vaseline once to restock our medicine cabinet in the barn. Boy oh boy, did a couple of people in line behind me give me a LOOK...

[runner pat]

Wow--that many posts, and nobody mentioned this (http://xkcd.com/236/)?

That has either the best or worst mouseover joke I've seen in XKCD ... "Fun game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier. Winner: pregnancy test and single coathanger."

Or ammo.

[Sarabellum1976]

At the local Walgreen's with my mother in tow:

I have promised to show my mother how to wax her legs. This is not something girls of her generation did too much but she's been wanting to try it for ages.

So we're looking at the various types of hair removal products, and finally decide on two different ones. A hot wax kit, and a box of cold wax strips. Toss them in the cart, and suddenly spy the "feminine deodorant" section, and I'm not talking about underarms. I'm actually out of FDS so I grab a can of it. My mom say, "What's that??" and decides that she will also get a can of it. Into the cart. Then my mom sees the powdered variety of the same, and says, oh look, they have the Lavender smelling one. I like that one. I'm rather fond of Lavender-scented things too and it's super cheap, only $1.00 for a good sized container of it, so I decide to get one too. Into the cart.

The check-out kid (he looks about 16) can not talk. At all. The whole sale. His face is red. So are his ears.

1 box hot wax
1 box bikini wax
2 cans FDS (fresh powder scent!)
2 bottles of Shower-to-Shower (lavender scent!)

A mother & daughter. How weird can it get?

[Tastes of Chocolate]

4 six-packs of soda,
and an onion.

I can just imagine the teller trying to figure out what those go into.

[control-z]

From The Simpsons:

Homer, trying to casually buy illegal fireworks: "Let me have one of those porno magazines... large box of condoms... a bottle of Old Harper... a couple of those panty shields... and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas. Eh, make it two."

Later...

Marge, seeing Homer's purchases: "I don't know what you've got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out!"

[Silvorange]

Black shirt and pants
Duct tape
Rope
Box cutter
Flashlight
Batteries
Diet Coke

[Covered_In_Bees!]

From The Simpsons:

Homer, trying to casually buy illegal fireworks: "Let me have one of those porno magazines... large box of condoms... a bottle of Old Harper... a couple of those panty shields... and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas. Eh, make it two."

Later...

Marge, seeing Homer's purchases: "I don't know what you've got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out!"

Ahem... (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11488778&postcount=56)


Black shirt and pants
Duct tape
Rope
Box cutter
Flashlight
Batteries
Diet Coke

You might as well throw condoms in that list. Maybe a ski mask too.

[EvilTOJ]

And a box of quicklime. Or a bottle of pool acid.

[Ann Hedonia]

I once ran into a male friend in Wal-Mart buying false eyelashes and a gallon of motor oil.

I would explain but imagination is better

[Hypno-Toad]

When I was a cashier, a guy came through my line with only a cantalope and a home enema. All I could think was to wonder which one was the impulse buy.

[mischievous]

There's an instructables video out there for making real-looking prop intestines for movies. IIRC the shopping list went something like this:

2 5-lb bags all-purpose flour
14 boxes condoms
1 tube KY
1 bottle red food coloring
1 bottle green food coloring
1 roll Saran wrap

I'm not making a movie, but it's tempting.

[Labrador Deceiver]

It's not that unusual to use half and half in cereal - you can still buy "cereal cream" here, and it's 10% milk fat, the same as half and half.

Half and half is a minimum of 10.5, and as high as 18% butterfat. it is extremely unusual for people to pour it on cereal.

[cwthree]

Didn't happen to me, but in a discussion of "things to have on hand when foaling season starts," several people described the odd looks they got when buying the usual supplies:
- Several large tubes of K-Y jelly
- Bulk packages of Fleet enemas
- Rubber gloves

[Haunted Pasta]

I love watching other people's purchases at the grocery store and trying to decide the stories behind them. My favorites from over the years:

-The guy in a business suit and tie buying a gallon of milk and three boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. A sudden craving or something?

-Another guy buying an economy-size bottle of Tylenol, two gallons of milk, and nine watermelons.

-A middle-aged couple in matching sweatsuits buying this gourd-like thing (some kind of squash, I think), a bag of fried pork rinds, and a mylar balloon that said "Welcome Home."

I was talking about this with a co-worker once, who told me that she and her husband still laugh about the young man they saw once buying just a romantic Valentine card and a jar of honey. Hmmm...

[Telperien]

I once bought spearmint gum, mint-flavored and scented lubricant (it was new and I wanted to try it), and a bottle of mint tea. The cashier looked at me as if she wondered, "Why the theme?"

[mischievous]

Back when I was an undergraduate biologist, I was screening mutant Pseudomonas strains for their ability to infect other organisms. We were pre-screening thousands of strains to identify potentially interesting ones, so we needed a fast, cheap assay. What we ended up with is injecting the strains into the spine of ordinary commercial Romaine lettuce leaves, and seeing how fast they turned black.

As the junior member of the group, it was my job to go to the grocery store next door and select 14-16 heads of healthy Romaine lettuce. Every single morning. Nothing else, or I couldn't get reimbursed. I'm sure the cashiers wondered what the hell I was doing.

[gigi]

-A middle-aged couple in matching sweatsuits buying this gourd-like thing (some kind of squash, I think), a bag of fried pork rinds, and a mylar balloon that said "Welcome Home."

:dubious::D Love it!

[It's Not Rocket Surgery!]

As the junior member of the group, it was my job to go to the grocery store next door and select 14-16 heads of healthy Romaine lettuce. Every single morning. Nothing else, or I couldn't get reimbursed. I'm sure the cashiers wondered what the hell I was doing.

Similarly, my friend asked me to get 4 bottles of Everclear (which was much cheaper near where I live) for use in the lab as a cheaper substitute for 100% alcohol. I think I said "Big night tonight!" when I paid.

[Colophon]

We used to have more when we lived in a very large queen anne style house (http://www.homefinder.com/NY/Perry/39961560d_108_North_Main_St)

Totally OT, but damn property is cheap around there!

[Don't Call Me Shirley]

Several boxes of condoms, and Gatorade.

[Push You Down]

Kind of related but some friends of mine living in Athens Georgia used to play this game where they'd go to the grocery store, split up and had 15 minutes to find the oddest item in the store and bring it to the front and buy it.

One night, several years ago they went to go play.
One friend returned to the front with Peter Buck from r.e.m. and had affixed a price tag to him.

[kathmandu]

Half and half is a minimum of 10.5, and as high as 18% butterfat. it is extremely unusual for people to pour it on cereal.

Not to belabour the minor, and somewhat uninteresting, point, but I think it depends where you live. Here, in Alberta, cereal cream is 5-10% bf, half-and-half is 10%, coffee cream is 18%, and whipping cream is at least 32%. It's not extremely unusual for people to pour "cereal cream" on cereal, hence the marketing of it as "cereal cream". I don't do it myself, but I do know people who do.

[Sigmagirl]

Kind of related but some friends of mine living in Athens Georgia used to play this game where they'd go to the grocery store, split up and had 15 minutes to find the oddest item in the store and bring it to the front and buy it.

One night, several years ago they went to go play.
One friend returned to the front with Peter Buck from r.e.m. and had affixed a price tag to him.

Did they win, or did somebody else find Fred Schneider?

[pantheon]

Charcoal (for the BBQ) and hairgel.

Why this was so weird: it was in the middle of a blizzard and my head was clean-shaven.

I had promised the kids we'd have a cookout, regardless of the weather. My daughter stayed in the car to watch the snow (it was really coming down in huge clumped flakes), but informed me she needed hairgel as I got out of the car.

[the first supraliminal]

I have a hard time finding certain products and so I will buy them at a store too far to frequent, so I will buy a lot. Eight boxes of Puffed Rice cereal, for example, or the same number of tapioca pudding. And people always comment. Never in the same way, so I don't have a prepared answer.

[BurnMeUp]

I was shopping for a friend's birthday once so I went to boarders to buy him a movie. The wife wandered off and came back with a kid's book for her pre-school class, and then i saw a book on knot tying (I had been wanting to learn never being much of a boyscout). So I'b at the checkout counter and the woman rings up:

A kids book
A book on knot tying
A DVD of Saw

[ShibbOleth]

Not to belabour the minor, and somewhat uninteresting, point, but I think it depends where you live. Here, in Alberta, cereal cream is 5-10% bf, half-and-half is 10%, coffee cream is 18%, and whipping cream is at least 32%. It's not extremely unusual for people to pour "cereal cream" on cereal, hence the marketing of it as "cereal cream". I don't do it myself, but I do know people who do.
Do you get a lot of heart disease in Alberta?

[panache45]

I once had to purchase Milk of Magnesia and Kaopectate at the same time. The former was for my partner, the latter was for my cat.

And if you want to make a huge smelly mess, try administering Kaopectate to a 27-lb. cat with an intestinal virus. (My partner's problem was much less messy.)

[The Scrivener]

My boyfriend and I, in a grocery store around 11:00 on a Friday or Saturday night, bought:

strawberries
a can of whipped cream
condoms

The checkout clerk couldn't stop grinning.

I know what you're thinking... how scandalous! Canned whipped cream! If you can't make it from scratch (preferably with a couple of shots of Grand Marnier, yum!), at least opt for a tub of Cool Whip, jeesh... :p

[WishIHadACoolName]

New apartment, new relationship. Twice a month, I'd stop at Walmart and pick up the econo-box of condoms and 2 dozen plastic hangers. Same purchase every other week...

[BaconAndEggs]

I think the oddest combination I've bought was the time I was teaching a class on foods considered to be aphrodisiacs in the middle ages, but fortunately, I don't think the clerk noticed.

What did you buy?

[FairyChatMom]

My husband has this thing for beef jerky and Froot Loops. I don't understand it so I can't explain it. I prefer not to enter a grocery store with him.

[liberty3701]

One time, a friend and I were in charge of buying beer for a party. Went to the local grocery store (this was in NC), got a shit ton of beer, go to the self-check out line, and who comes to check our IDs but one of my students.

But my favorite: I was in a Target, and the guy in line in front of me had dozens of Star Wars action figures. As he's dumping them onto the conveyor belt, he looks back at me and says, "They're on sale!" as if I asked for an explanation and as if that was an explanation.

Though I was kind of charmed the other day by this hip-hoppy guy in his mid 20s buying Pull-ups and fish sticks...

[appleciders]

I'm shameless, and always have been, so when a friend was too embarrassed, I agreed to help him out. One of those already-roasted-and-hot whole chickens from the deli (for my dinner) and a big thing of Astroglide (for him). It's the only time I've ever seen a clerk do a double take.

[katie1341]

A couple of years ago, my husband had to have surgery to have a couple of anal polyps removed. His doctor gave me a list of stuff to pick up on the way home from the hospital- a couple different types of laxative and a stool softener (all OTC). I decided as long as I was at the grocery store I'd pick up a bottle of wine. Hubby hadn't eaten anything for close to 24 hours and was craving a grilled cheese sandwich, so I picked up cheese, bread, and butter.

So, I'm checking out with laxatives, stool softeners, wine, bread, butter, and cheese. I got an odd look from the cashier, who probably thought I was an alcoholic bulimic.

[Boyo Jim]

A Very overwight woman buying 2% milk and chocolate syrup.

At breakfast I drink skim milk, but I also often get strawberry waffles with whipped cream.

[Raguleader]

On the milk thing, I usually drink vanilla soy milk or 2% milk (depends on what I'm doing or feel like drinking). I've always found whole milk to have an odd taste to it, and skim milk just tastes watery.

I think not too long ago, I was at the BX shopping for condoms, KY, and rubber gloves (I decided I didn't want my hands smelly nasty after waiting a week to wash dishes. The KY and the condoms were for what one normally uses KY and condoms for.)

[Mr Buttons]

Originally Posted by Silvorange
Black shirt and pants
Duct tape
Rope
Box cutter
Flashlight
Batteries
Diet Coke


You might as well throw condoms in that list. Maybe a ski mask too.

Don't forget the rubber gloves... and panty hose. You can't go wrong buying panty hose when looking to make things uncomfortable (as a dude anyways).

[Boyo Jim]

You left out:
shovel,
axe,
a gallon can of gasoline,
several assorted butcher knives,
quicklime.

[Martini Enfield]

When I first worked in an electronics store about a decade ago (back when computer games had almost zero copy protection), it was not unknown to see someone looking like Jeff "The Comic Book Guy" Albertson buying a couple of new release PC games and a drum magazine of blank CDs...

[TheFaerie]

My husband and I should have. Last time we bought beer at the supermarket, we bought a few 12-packs' worth to stock up, and some snack-type foods. The cashier asked if we were having a party. Nope, just alcoholics by your estimation, I guess?

We get that when we do our major liquor stock-up run about every 6-8 weeks. Hundreds of dollars of alcohol at a time (We prefer 'top shelf so high you need a ladder" alcohol). The other comment is wondering if we own a bar. Nope. Personal use only.

[TheFaerie]

I'm shameless, and always have been, so when a friend was too embarrassed, I agreed to help him out. One of those already-roasted-and-hot whole chickens from the deli (for my dinner) and a big thing of Astroglide (for him). It's the only time I've ever seen a clerk do a double take.

If I had been the cashier I would have had a South Park moment when the boys found out that you could put food up your butt and poop out of your mouth.

[Ludy]

I had just moved to a small town and was working at the theatre. We were producing a musical and one of the tricks of the trade is to put the mic pack in an unlubricated condom to prevent sweat from getting into it. There were six people in the cast and eight shows a week.

I went from store to store buying the town out of unlubricated condoms weekly.

After the first few times, I started to get the evil eye from the pharmacist. :p