Living life to the fullest

[Maradona]

I am having this conversation/argument with couple of my colleagues about "living life". They are arguing that living life is about doing exciting things such as Surfing, Skiing, And Mountain climbing etc. Unfortunately I don’t see the excitement in any of these things and any of the above activities would bore me within few minutes. (Add the fact that I suck in all most all of them) It maybe due to the fact that I was brought up in a country where day to day living was a more of challenge than getting on a board and riding waves.

“Living life” is all about taking risks so that you do things which are inherently risky but gives a rush of adrenalin? Or am I a just a boring old fart? Is it worth taking all these risks in life just to make sure that you are living life to fullest?

[Chimera]

Do the things you enjoy. Doing things, especially risky things, out of fear that you're not living the best possible life.....is not living the best possible life.

I've known a number of people who have to busy themselves every moment of their lives, work, hobbies, whatever. Must. Be. Busy. If that's really what they want to do, more power to them. If they enjoy it, great. But if it's because they're afraid of what happens in their head when they're not doing those things, BAD.

Some people need that constant adrenaline to feel alive.

Me personally, what I've learned is that the real joy of life isn't the big moments, it's the everyday small moments. Big moments can become an addiction, seeking ever more, ever bigger. It can distort your life, just like any other addiction.

But the small moments are where you live.

[Nzinga, Seated]

I'm not into sky diving and things like that. I will try them if I get the chance, but it is not a lifestyle for me.

I believe that 'living life to the fullest' means actually doing some meditation about what pleasure and joy is to you in life, and then going after it with gusto. I believe that it is about learning to savor and taste the moment and learning to find savory flavor in all kinds of moments that a lot of people might miss, because they never took the time to meditate life at all.

When my best friend and I vacation, we skip the resort crap and find the grittiest ghettoes and the grimiest urban centers. The energy and art and music and food, etc., that we find there is the best of life to us. Our vacations look very different than people whose vacations mean surfing and rock climbing.

Thrill seeking brings adreniline, sure, but there are other ways to get that fix than jumping from planes. Although jumping from planes sounds fun.

[even sven]

It's not what particular brand of living life to the fullest you prefer, it's just that you don't get so stuck in the day-to-day that you forget to do what you love. You should be passionate about something, and be willing to take the chance to fulfill those passions.

I love something. I love travel. And I do it. People ask me all the time how I manage. They say they don't have the time or the money. They say they wish they could do what I do, but that they can't.

It's almost never true. The thing they lack is the will. It takes a little risk to do most of the things that are worthwhile in this life. And too many people don't have the guts to take these risks. So they will always have an ordinary life.

So they work Monday-Friday, look forward to a weekend BBQ, and do it all again until the day they retire.

Life has a ton to offer (especially for us first world types), you just have to figure out what you want and have a little bit of will to go get it.

[Maradona]

I've known a number of people who have to busy themselves every moment of their lives, work, hobbies, whatever. Must. Be. Busy. If that's really what they want to do, more power to them. If they enjoy it, great. But if it's because they're afraid of what happens in their head when they're not doing those things, BAD.


This sums up the situation I am talking about. Every Monday morning we discuss what we did during the weekend. My weekend would be a nice book, watching football, lots of food , time with my partner and a long walk. Compare this with surfing, wind surfing, hiking and running weekend for a colleague of mine, obvious conclusion is that I am wasting my life. After all there are only X number of years left and every weekend counts!!

[mack]

“Living life” is all about taking risks so that you do things which are inherently risky but gives a rush of adrenalin? Or am I a just a boring old fart? Is it worth taking all these risks in life just to make sure that you are living life to fullest?

Do you and your coworkers have different family situations? I used to do a lot of road & mtn bicycling, hiking (not so much when I moved back east), played in bands, travel, go to lots of concerts, etc. More for the accomplishments of completing a challenging ride or getting to the top of a mountain rather than an adrenaline rush. It tapered off a little after I met my wife and then after my twin girls came along my desire to do all that stuff pretty much went out the window and all I want to do is stay home or maybe go on a little adventure with them (they're 6). These days I get my big extracurricular activity sense of accomplishment if I figure out a guitar part I've been obsessing over. I can do this in the other room rather than hours away and 5 miles up a mountain trail (which I do miss, but not enough to take the time out of my life to keep up with it). I look forward to doing those things with my girls, and we do do them on a tiny scale but as far as spending the amount of I need to to make them worthwhile - I'd rather spend that time at home.

[sandra_nz]

There is no one formula to living a full life. Your coworker is only thinking about the things that he enjoys, without considering that everyone else has different interests and tastes.

My definition of living a full life is one where you die with no regrets.

[Hello Again]

This sums up the situation I am talking about. Every Monday morning we discuss what we did during the weekend. My weekend would be a nice book, watching football, lots of food , time with my partner and a long walk. Compare this with surfing, wind surfing, hiking and running weekend for a colleague of mine, obvious conclusion is that I am wasting my life. After all there are only X number of years left and every weekend counts!!

Well if those are the things *you* really want to do, then you are living life to the fullest. However if there are things you are always saying "oh I wish I could...[knit/travel/speak german/ride a horse/etc]" then you are not living life to the fullest, even if you are quite contented in most respects.

It seems that your friend put a high value on physical activities in a natural setting. It's not about skiing and surfing its about doing the things you "always wanted" to do. Whatever those things are. I don't think you should disparage your friends as "adrenaline junkies" either. Skiing, surfing and hiking are not particularly dangerous activities, at least not the way the vast majority of participants do them.

[Wallenstein]

Several of my contemporaries are into that sort of thing - posting facebook updates from around the world, extreme sports etc etc

I've been travelling, I've tried white-water rafting etc. All that sort of thing.

And although it was fun it doesn't come close to the thrill of watching my 18 month old daughter play with her first ladybird in the garden, or spending an afternoon with her using me as a climbing frame.

Some people would see that as really dull, but it's given me the greatest joy I could imagine, and I think the DINKY* couples I know are missing out compared to me.

Horses for courses though, there's no right or wrong.

*Double income, no kids yet

[Broomstick]

“Living life” is all about taking risks so that you do things which are inherently risky but gives a rush of adrenalin? Or am I a just a boring old fart? Is it worth taking all these risks in life just to make sure that you are living life to fullest?
Doing risky stuff or extreme sports or traveling all over the world is living life to the fullest only if that's what YOU want to do. If you'd rather putter around in your garden, play golf, or bake cookies then that is living life to the fullest for you. Of course, the extreme activity guys do think the golf-playing cookie-bakers are boring (though oddly enough they always seem ready to eat the cookies..) but who cares? They're crazy, right? (At least, that's the golf/cookie people think).

Living life to the fullest is finding a way to do the things YOU enjoy most in life.

(Just for the record - I am a bit of a thrill seeker myself, but I also like my garden and making oatmeal cookies so put me down for middle of the road)

[glee]

Living life to the fullest is finding a way to do the things YOU enjoy most in life.



This.

[Brandus]

We don't need to do eXtreme adrenaline-pumping sports to live life to the fullest, but you definitely have to take risks.

Spending your weekends reading a book and sipping tea might be enjoyable, but do you really want to look back at your life when you are an old man, and have nothing to talk about besides all the good books you read and your favorite kinds of tea?

[Rushgeekgirl]

We don't need to do eXtreme adrenaline-pumping sports to live life to the fullest, but you definitely have to take risks.

Spending your weekends reading a book and sipping tea might be enjoyable, but do you really want to look back at your life when you are an old man, and have nothing to talk about besides all the good books you read and your favorite kinds of tea?

Why not, if that's what you enjoyed?

I don't care for taking many risks. My life involves too many risks I have no choice about. When I feel the most alive and happy and connected is when I am with family. Especially just hanging out in our backyard in the early evening, watching my girls jump on their trampoline, catch my Mig attempt the hula hoop, witness a rare glimpse of a hummingbird nipping at the honeysuckle growing along our fence.
That's life, my friend.

[Maradona]

Thank you all for your replies..Living life and taking chances has become a hot topic around my workplace. This all came about as a guy ( a friend of my office colleague) died in a mountain biking accident. Discussion of his death has brought about this sense "we need to do things we enjoy in life regardless of risk or responsibilities. You don’t want to die doing nothing” around the office.

My colleague who attended the funeral was talking about the speech the widow delivered. She had said "I am proud xxxxxx died being a daredevil as he always wanted. There are so many families who live sheltered lives. We are glad we didn’t live like that.." or something to that effect. AFAIK the mountain biker/surfer/wind surfer left 2 kids aged around 2 and 3.
My office colleague wants to print this speech and put on wall at his place so that his wife can see it everyday.

I understand that doing things which excites you is good. However taking risks all the time in order for you to get a feeling of living sounds testosterone driven BS to me.

[msmith537]

Statements like "live life to the fullest" are completely meaningless. Does it mean spending quiet time in solitary contemplation reading or whatever? Getting drunk and partying like a rock star? A busy and successful career? Time spent with friends and family? And at what point do any of these activities go from "living your life" to "screwing it up"?

[lshaw]

What I object to is the notion is that you have to "make" every minute count. An old teacher once said something that really resonated with me:

Popular culture gives us movies like "The Bucket List" and songs like "Live Like You Are Dying" which seem to impart the message that jumping out of airplanes and traveling to exotic parts of the world bring meaning and adventure... that they bring life to our lives. The implication is that most of us waste time with the boring drudgery of day to day existence. A year ago, my oncologist suggested that if there was anything else I wanted to do in my life, now would be a good time to do it. I was taken slightly aback, partially because of her obvious implication, but mostly because it never occurred to me to do anything else. I don't need to jump out of an airplane to find meaning or bring life to my life; things like teaching and spending time with family provide all the meaning I could ever want, so why would I do anything else? That's why I prefer the message that comes from Thornton Wilder's play, Our Town. In the final act, Emily Webb, who has died, is given the opportunity to go back to her life for a day. She is disappointed to see how little her family appreciates the preciousness of daily life and she ultimately says to the Stage Manager, "do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?". Many middle schoolers who read Our Town find life in Grover's Corner pretty boring, but there is a lot to be said for boredom. I recently read a fascinating article that was a defense of boredom. It argued that in our constantly engaged, plugged in society, no one has time for quiet, reflective thought anymore, that time where, it can be argued, many of our great ideas originate. The problem is that we are all way too busy making every minute count. So maybe we should all slow down a bit and recognize that you don't have to make every minute count, because they already do count; you just have to learn how to appreciate them all, every, every minute, even the boring ones.

[Trepa Mayfield]

We don't need to do eXtreme adrenaline-pumping sports to live life to the fullest, but you definitely have to take risks.

Spending your weekends reading a book and sipping tea might be enjoyable, but do you really want to look back at your life when you are an old man, and have nothing to talk about besides all the good books you read and your favorite kinds of tea?

Honestly? If I have to spend the last years of my life justifying my actions to other old people, I'm going to be pretty disappointed. And yeah, looking back, I'll enjoy those memories of sipping tea and reading books--or the digital equivalent, most likely.

[msmith537]

"I would sit on my ass...all day long...and do nothing."
-Peter Gibbons, Office Space

[Mangetout]

Extreme sports as a means to 'live life to the max' are just a stereotype now. Like everyone else said - do what you want to do. Live YOUR life, not someone else's

[Small Hen]

My definition of living a full life is one where you die with no regrets.

I disagree. There should be at least a few.

[legalsnugs]

...Living life to the fullest is finding a way to do the things YOU enjoy most in life....

I agree to the extent that you probably wouldn't be happier by trying to live your life according to someone else's expectations, but I also don't think sitting around on your butt all weekend is particularly good for you either. You don't have to take physical risks but you may be interested in other experiences. Surely your town has museums, caves, gardens, theaters, other-cultures' foods, schools, festivals, games, you get the idea. You can have experiences that don't require a jolt of adrenalin - take a cooking class, learn to paint, volunteer at the humane society. I have a friend who once a month throws a dart at a map of her state, learns a little about that place (or the nearest town), then takes her family there for the day to explore it. You wouldn't have posted if your colleagues' comments didn't bother you at least a little bit.

Bottom line: do what you want, but don't short-change yourself either.

[don't ask]

There are only two steps to living life to the fullest.

Identify the things you wish to have. They can be anything....attributes, skills, achievements, experiences maybe even "things".

Enjoy getting them and enjoy them when you have them.

[Wallenstein]

The whole concept of "living life to the full" is a cosy Western concept anyway.

For most people in the world the concern is simply "living life". They get more than enough thrills, spills and adrenaline rides avoiding the local militia, they get plenty of exercise in the great outdoors on their daily 12 mile walk to get water.

I cherish the fact that I can sit at home on a weekend and sip tea; I've met plenty of people all over the world who would give their right arm to have that option.

[jjimm]

I disagree. There should be at least a few.But then again, too few to mention.

[Superhal]

I found this idea as I was researching Buddhism a while back (paraphrasing, with apologies to the Big B): many people spend their lives in the accumulation of "stuff." After a certain point, they are unable to travel or move, because they are attached to their stuff. They have to guard it, use it, watch it, clean it, etc. In the end, they become a prisoner to what they've acquired. To truly experience freedom, one must be free of their stuff.

I don't have this "living life" thing figured out yet either, but thanks the Internet, I've traveled around the world many times over (in my mind), learned things I never would have expected (thanks Cecil!), and have new experiences every day (albeit vicariously.)

My wife and I disagree on this. She thinks traveling to a place is better than reading about it. I disagree. While she's traveling, I could experience 3 or 4 other places in half the time for a fraction of the cost, and watch TV at the same time.

[legalsnugs]

...My wife and I disagree on this. She thinks traveling to a place is better than reading about it. I disagree. While she's traveling, I could experience 3 or 4 other places in half the time for a fraction of the cost, and watch TV at the same time.

Well, having done both, I gotta agree with your wife. Internet or other research does not begin to touch to rich experience of being somewhere with the attendant smells, sights, people, foods, atmosphere - good and bad. I'd rather go one place than read about 100!

Do you have agoraphobia or a physical disability or something that you cannot travel with your wife?

[Superhal]

Do you have agoraphobia or a physical disability or something that you cannot travel with your wife?

We live in a remote area where it's a 5-7 hour plane ride to the nearest continent, usually costing $800-1200 or more.

Interesting story: We went to Vegas about 2 years ago, and stopped by the Grand Canyon on a tour. What really struck us about the Grand Canyon was that it looked fake, like it was a painted backdrop. :)

[Broomstick]

I agree to the extent that you probably wouldn't be happier by trying to live your life according to someone else's expectations, but I also don't think sitting around on your butt all weekend is particularly good for you either.
Not every weekend, no, but sitting on your butt for a weekend every so often, or even on a regular basis, is perfectly OK, particuarly when balanced with other stuff that doesn't involve sitting around.

Personally, while I enjoy doing things like flying amateur-built experimental airplanes (not only perceived as a high-risk thrill by many, sometimes it actually is one) I also enjoy the occasional day sitting on my butt reading a book and sipping tea (especially a really good book and really good tea). I would not consider my life complete or full without both of those sorts of activities.

You wouldn't have posted if your colleagues' comments didn't bother you at least a little bit.
A little unclear if your post was directed at me, or at the OP (who is a different person).

I went through about 10 years where I had the money to do thrilling things like fly airplanes. Heck, I even managed to get to Europe by age 17. Not bad. On the other hand, given that my finances are crap right now (thanks, Great Recession) I am once again enjoying things that are less "thrilling" as well as less expensive. I don't think it's an either-or thing, it being perfectly normal to go through times when one seeks physical thrills and other times one seeks safety and serenity.

Look, if some dude dies doing the mountain biking he loves and his family finds comfort in the fact he was doing what he loved... well, I've not much problem with that. Goodness knows I've buried a few friends and acquaintances over the years who died when the risks of their activities caught up with them. But I still try to take my risks in such a manner that I have a decent probability of dying of old age rather than accident.

To each their own.

[legalsnugs]

...A little unclear if your post was directed at me, or at the OP (who is a different person)....

Oops, sorry that was unclear. I was agreeing with your post in answer to the OP. And I absolutely agree that a good book and a cuppa is wonderful, too. I did not say everyone should fill every minute of every weekend "doing" stuff. I was simply suggesting to the OP that if he wants to live life to the fullest, which he seemed to be concerned about since he started the thread, he might consider expanding his horizons.

[Manda JO]

I do think it's a good idea to acquire some tastes in life: there any many things that take a little getting used to but which can add a great deal of pleasure--someone who never advances past the ketchup and white bread palate of a toddler is somehow missing out, even if they enjoy everything they ever eat, because there's so much more out there. That doesn't mean that everyone has to like everything--I certainly don't--but a person ought to push themselves out of their comfort zone sometimes, take a leap of faith that they will find things to like once they get out there.

That said, I consider reading different kinds of books and drinking different kinds of tea to be going outside my comfort zone, and I fully expect to spend my twilight years talking about books I've read.

[Crafter_Man]

Ever met a man walking with a limp? I've met many. Nine times out of ten it's because of a motorcycle accident.

So many times I have been tempted to buy a motorcycle. But I always talk myself out of it. While I think riding a motorcycle would be a hell of a lot of fun, to me it's simply not worth the risk.

Every thrill in life must be carefully weighed against risk, and how getting hurt could affect your current responsibilities. At this particular point in my life - with a wife and three young children to support - I have to be very conservative when it comes to engaging in risky behavior, else my family's safety and security will be jeopardized.

After the children are out of school and on their own, I plan on buying my first motorcycle. :)

[even sven]

Let's not go to the extreme here! Yes, not everyone needs to spend every weekend snowboarding. We all need downtime, and it's perfectly okay to enjoy some quiet time.

But if you never spend your time pushing yourself, learning, exploring, developing interests and helping then you are also doing something wrong. It's an incredible waste to spend your one and only life watching the days come and go without leaving a trace. It's sad if your job leaves you so ruined that you have no energy for the life you work your job to pay for. It's sad if fear keeps you from realizing what you have the capacity to do.

I love something. I love travel. And I do it. I've had the amazing fortune to be able to do quite a lot of it. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Oh, I'd love to do that, but I can't." In 99% of the situations, the person actually could. They might have to give up cable TV for a few months. They might have to rethink some career goals. But they absolutely had the capacity to. It's the will that is missing.

Most of my friends are bright intelligent people. But most of them have pretty small comfort zones. After college I kind of broke away, and have done a lot of stuff. Most of them are still living in the same place, playing video games, hanging out with the same friends and just making enough money to survive. These kids could have made great art. They could have written books. They could have seen the world. They could have helped a lot of people. They could have learned languages. But they didn't. They just took every day as it came and then left it the same way.

I think that is a sad waste.

[panache45]

The important thing is living your life to the fullest. Do what you love, and don't ask anyone else's opinion.

[Iridescent Orb]

A lot of “live life to the fullest” debates are an adult version of the high school jocks vs. nerds. Jocks think that physical activity is required to do something of consequence – the more action, the better. Nerds think the opposite. More activity = less thinking = less important. The truth is they are both right – for themselves, anyway. As long as you are reasonably aware of your options and have made a conscious decision to pursue a given set of activities, you are indeed living your life to the fullest.