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View Full Version : Are clams really happy???

heavybuhbuh
11-20-2009, 02:57 AM
Are clams really happy???
Jamicat
11-20-2009, 03:15 AM
Is linguine happy?
Elyanna
11-20-2009, 04:06 AM
No, of course not. They are in miserable, excruciating pain every day of their short lives. You could hear them scream except their voices are far out of our hearing range.

Eating them does them a favor, really. Seabirds are their gods because they relieve them of this horrid mortal coil.

Any questions?
Measure for Measure
11-20-2009, 04:20 AM
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/as-happy-as-a-clam.html
DrFidelius
11-20-2009, 06:27 AM
Happy?

They live in the mud, they eat fish shit, and it takes a year to move a frakkin' inch.

Why wouldn't they be happy?
Northern Piper
11-20-2009, 07:06 AM
they are, but not as happy as Larry.
jjimm
11-20-2009, 07:25 AM
they are, but not as happy as Larry.Pssst. Larry's a clam.
Gfactor
11-20-2009, 07:34 AM
Moved from General Questions to Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share.

Gfactor
General Questions Moderator
Northern Piper
11-20-2009, 07:58 AM
Pssst. Larry's a clam.

Nahh - he just doesn't talk very much.
Larry Mudd
11-20-2009, 08:35 AM
Pssst. Larry's a clam.Happy as a mud lark, and nearly as cute as a bug.
jjimm
11-20-2009, 01:44 PM
Happy as a mud lark, and nearly as cute as a bug.But is he a pig in shit?
Markxxx
11-20-2009, 01:47 PM
I'm sure as bivalves go clam are pretty happy, unless a starfish happens by.
gonzomax
11-20-2009, 01:49 PM
They never complain.
Shakes
11-20-2009, 02:13 PM
I know of a particular type of clam that makes ME happy.
MeanOldLady
11-20-2009, 02:42 PM
Quick! Somebody make a dirty joke.
palindromemordnilap
11-20-2009, 02:45 PM
According to a study conducted by SIMU*, the percentage of clams that require anti-depressant medication is vanishingly small.








*shit I made up
Enderw24
11-20-2009, 03:07 PM
I know of a particular type of clam that makes ME happy.

Quahog? Littleneck? Cherrystone ? Pismo ? Butter? Longneck? Manila? Razor? Geoduck? East Coast hard-shell? Mahogany? Surf? Hokkigai? Pacific littleneck? Venus? Soft shelled? Steamer? Ipswitch? Ark? Nut? Trough? File? Giant? Peppery Furrow shell?
MeanOldLady
11-20-2009, 03:21 PM
Hmm. Maybe a giant clam would make him happy.
Larry Mudd
11-20-2009, 04:09 PM
According to a study conducted by SIMU*, the percentage of clams that require anti-depressant medication is vanishingly small.However, Prozac, Luvox, and Paxil all increase reproductive activity in clams. (http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-20212410.html) Sounds like happiness to me.
manila
11-20-2009, 04:31 PM
Quahog? Littleneck? Cherrystone ? Pismo ? Butter? Longneck? Manila? Razor? Geoduck? East Coast hard-shell? Mahogany? Surf? Hokkigai? Pacific littleneck? Venus? Soft shelled? Steamer? Ipswitch? Ark? Nut? Trough? File? Giant? Peppery Furrow shell?

Who me? hey am always happy........ and if am not smiling on the outside then for sure am smiling on the inside :)

now if we talking bearded clams...........
Surly Chick
11-20-2009, 05:55 PM
Only at high tide. Or so I hear.
Shakes
11-20-2009, 07:10 PM
Quahog? Littleneck? Cherrystone ? Pismo ? Butter? Longneck? Manila? Razor? Geoduck? East Coast hard-shell? Mahogany? Surf? Hokkigai? Pacific littleneck? Venus? Soft shelled? Steamer? Ipswitch? Ark? Nut? Trough? File? Giant? Peppery Furrow shell?

Bald clam.
Dallas Jones
11-20-2009, 08:17 PM
Quahog? Littleneck? Cherrystone ? Pismo ? Butter? Longneck? Manila? Razor? Geoduck? East Coast hard-shell? Mahogany? Surf? Hokkigai? Pacific littleneck? Venus? Soft shelled? Steamer? Ipswitch? Ark? Nut? Trough? File? Giant? Peppery Furrow shell?

Razor clams!! I dig them every season on the Pacific near my home. They seem to like where they are at on the beach because they try to get away, dig as fast as they can. Plant their foot and hold on when you try to pull them up. So they must be happy.

We get to keep 15 each day of the season. I still have about a dozen limits in the freezer.

Of course those clams aren't really happy anymore, they are just 'chillin'.
Muffin
11-21-2009, 06:36 AM
Of course clams are happy. As anyone who walks a beach will know, as you walk above a clam, the vibration causes it to squirt. Google for images on "squirt", take the safe filter off, and you will see a lot of happy clams.
Audrey Levins
11-21-2009, 07:30 AM
Since I don't like eating clams, the clams I don't eat are presumably happy.
Slithy Tove
11-21-2009, 08:06 AM
Quick! Somebody make a dirty joke.

The geoduck's pretty happy, at the expense of the other clams in the locker room.
olivesmarch4th
11-21-2009, 03:39 PM
No, of course not. They are in miserable, excruciating pain every day of their short lives. You could hear them scream except their voices are far out of our hearing range.

Eating them does them a favor, really. Seabirds are their gods because they relieve them of this horrid mortal coil.

Any questions?

:(

All of the clams I know are happy.

[You] once said you loved me
Just the way I am
But I wonder what would happen
If I became a clam?
If I were gray and grimy
Slippery and slimy
An oversized hors d'oeuvre,
Would [you] still have the nerve?

For the record, if anyone I knew became a clam, I'd love them more.
Slithy Tove
11-21-2009, 03:51 PM
The wise molluscs discern between realistic contentment and the foolish pursuit of happiness. As in staying in bed versus seeking reckless adventure with questionable company. (http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/pics/glass21.gif)
Finally
11-21-2009, 06:34 PM
As a midwest girl without access to oceans will sunfish love do?
blondebear
11-21-2009, 07:36 PM
I don't know if clams could be described as being happy, but I know they're never crabby.
Johnny L.A.
11-21-2009, 07:37 PM
I dunno. Are the haps really clammy?

What's the haps?

Not much. What's the haps with you?
Polycarp
11-21-2009, 07:47 PM
The geoduck's pretty happy, at the expense of the other clams in the locker room.

But does a geoduck's quack echo?
olivesmarch4th
11-21-2009, 08:39 PM
The wise molluscs discern between realistic contentment and the foolish pursuit of happiness. As in staying in bed versus seeking reckless adventure with questionable company. (http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/pics/glass21.gif)

Yeah, the happiest clams are the most responsible ones. (http://textboxart.blogspot.com/2009/06/responsibility-scallop.html)

For the record, I am officially bookmarking this thread.
Northern Piper
11-21-2009, 10:57 PM
Hmm. Maybe a giant clam would make him happy.
But what if the giant clam snaps shut suddenly? :eek:
Slithy Tove
11-22-2009, 06:18 AM
But does a geoduck's quack echo?

The geoduck is the Chuck Norris of clams. the laws of physics will not reflect its sound waves for fear of pissing it off.
NJ Kef
11-22-2009, 08:27 AM
Not only are clams happy for the most part, CLAMS GOT LEGS!!!
Amber in Treasury
11-23-2009, 01:18 AM
I doubt most "clams" are truly happy, even is they are clears. I mean, what with having to pay through the nose (those clams have noses), and then the auditing and all that weird shit...
Muffin
11-23-2009, 05:58 AM
Of course clams are happy. Has anyone met a clam that was not happy? I thought not.
T. Slothrop
11-24-2009, 12:23 AM
Having been a professional clammer on the coast of North Carolina (by the way, this is socially the lowest peg on the social scale), I can tell you:

But before I go into that . . . at that time (early eighties) I only got $ .05 for the large ones and $ .10 for the ones smaller than about a quarter. They were more tender I think is the reason that they paid more.

People can tell that you are a clammer (and thus the lowest peg) just by walking past you because you smell like mud.

So to answer your question . . . they were happier than me.