Shocking public scenes (that you *haven't* started!)

[Tiburon]

What is the most shocking thing you've heard or seen in public?

Like someone going ballistic in a restaurant? Someone running naked through a concert hall?

Tibs

[Tabithina]

Hmmmm... back when I worked as a cashier in a little store in downtown San Clemente, I heard a horrible, keening shriek right outside the door, and ran to see what was the matter. An enraged woman ran past a man, viciously hanked off his toupee, and threw it into the bushes. She ran on, hopped into her car, and peeled off. Strange.
I'm sure I could think of other incidents, but this is what came to mind first.
In my misspent youth, I saw too many nekkid people to be shocked much by them;).

[tracer]

While my girlfriend-at-the-time and I were waiting in line at a movie theater (we were going to see Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, which should give you some sense of what year it was), a rather George-Carlin-looking man was "escorted" out of the theater by two security personnel. They were holding his arms behind his back and may have been putting handcuffs on him. The man was visibly struggling, and shouted:

"Assault and batteREE! Assault and batteREE!"

... presumably accusing the two security thugs of physically abusing him by restraining him. The man put a huge accent on the last syllable of "battery", which was why I spelled it like that just now. He turned to some guy in the crowd and shouted:

"My ticket was valid! I need you to be a witness at my assault and battery trial!"

At the time, all I could think of was this Introduction to Civil Law course at my university which I'd audited briefly. The professor had told us that a battery was the touching of a person of another in a way that caused that person harm without that person's consent. An assault was an action that a reasonable person would view as a threat of an imminent battery. False improsonment was the confinement or restriction of somebody's movement against their wishes which caused that person economic or other damage.

I remember thinking, "Don't go after the security people for assault and battery, go after them for false imprisonment! Duh!"

[Lissa]

I didn't start this one, but I was blamed for it:

When I was sixteen, I had a job at the local K-Mart. It was ahorrid place to work. Employee morale was rock-bottom, and the management were some of the meanest people I have ever had the misfortune to meet.

I was a cashier. I was ringing people up one night, when two people entered my line. I grabbed the first item on the conveyor belt, and scanned it. The woman standing in front of me let out a terrible SCREAM, as if something had struck her, or she was having a heart-attack. I jumped, and gasped, "What's wrong?"

"You rang him up before me!" She shouted, her face as red as a beet. Her items were clutched in her arms, and the item on the belt had belonged to the man behind her. "You fucking BITCH!"

"I'm sorry, ma'am," I said, and reached out to take her items. She clutched a bag of donuts, swung her arm back like a major leauge pitcher, and hurled them at my head. I ducked, and the bag splattered against the backboard behind my head.

"Oh no, Mommy, not again!" her little boy wailed, and she took off, marching up and down in front of the registers, shrieking wordlessly at the top of her voice, and then began shouting about how she was going to sue me, the store, the managers, the corporation, and the customers who were gaping at her. Shaking, I picked up the shattered bag of donuts, and threw them away, and wiped at my backboard with a plastic bag to remove some of the goo.

"Jesus, lady," said the man still standing at my counter. "You need to take your medication."

The managers stood in a little knot, huddled by the customer service counter, whispering and pointing. They made no move toward the woman, who was now beating her fist against the wall. She grabbed a cart at the end of another register that was being filled with bags of another customer's purchases, and shoved it, hard. It flew across the room, and smashed into the pop machine. "Hey, that's my stuff!" the owner snapped. She turned to him, and let out a long, furious scream. He cringed back, and dropped his eyes.

The screaming woman then stopped short, as if her battery had run down. She marched back over to me, and demanded that I give her her bag of donuts. "Ma'am, I said softly, "I threw them away. You threw them at me, and smashed them."

"I DID NOT!" she yelled. "You ate them, didn't you! You ATE my donuts!"

I didn't say anything, for once in my life, at loss for words. The manager came over then, and snapped at me, "You! Go back to my office! Take off your badge and vest!"

"Well, I'm fired," I thought, and started back toward the back of the store. Halfway back, the shock of what I had just seen hit me, and I began weeping. A blurry shape came toward me . . . It was Steve, the security guy. "Come on," he said gently. "Come back to my office. I got the whole thing on tape, and it wasn't your fault." He sat me down in his chair, and brought me a Coke. He went back outside into the hallway, and I could hear him arguing with my manager. "It wasn't her fault . . . she didn't do anything wrong."

"I want her out of here! That customer was engraged!"

"But she didn't DO anything!"

"I don't care. We've lost a customer! Tell her to clean out her locker."

"Look, do you even want to see the tape?"

"I don't need to! I know that we've lost a customer for sure, and probably even MORE due to that scene out there that she caused!"

"You can't fire her. She didn't do anything wrong, and if you try, I'll give her the tape, and I don't think your treatment of her would look good in court, now would it?"

"WHAT?? You can't do that!"

"Then fire me."

The argument lasted a few more minutes, and finally my manager decided that she would just write me up for it. She couldn't be talked out of that.

Needless to say, I did not work long for K-Mart after that.

[Duck Duck Goose]

This wasn't a "scene" as such, and I wasn't a participant, but there was such a world of dysfunction in it that I've never forgotten it.

The scene: the mall on a Saturday afternoon. A forty-something Dad, his three school-age daughters, and his twenty-something girlfriend, who was overdressed in "girlfriend" date clothes. The dysfunction was in the girlfriend's possessive death grip on the Dad's arm, and the "body english" in the way the three little girls danced possessively around him as they strolled down the mall, all four females competing for his attention, and him looking tired and harassed.

Only 10 seconds, while I sat there in the Food Court watching, but it made an indelible impression. I paused for a moment and gave thanks for my totally normal, if sometimes rather strange, relationships.

And what kind of grown woman needs to compete with three little girls?

[bedhog]

Another that wasn't necessarily a "scene", as I was the only witness - but it left a nasty impression just the same.

A few years ago, I was waitressing in a family-style restaurant. One Mother's Day, a couple came in with two small girls. The kids were only about 3 and 4 years old, and were quite a handful, but really sweet. They both kept knocking over their water and spilling food, etc. Normal stuff for active kids. Anyhow, the man chose this time and place (Mother's Day, busy restaurant) to tell the woman that he was sick of the "rotten little cum-stains" wrecking his clothes and that he didn't want to see her again. The mom started crying, which made the girls cry, and the bastard decided that crying was the final straw, so he got up and left. In HER car. Without paying the bill. The restaurant covered the tab, and I had the pleasure of taking the poor woman into the office so she could call the police to report her car stolen.

[bouv]

This little scene happened when I was a younger fella' (between 8 and 10.)

We were vacationing in Maine, and went to Freeport to shop.
We first went to the LL Bean factory store, and what we saw remains a topic of discussion to this day.

Seeing as it was a rainy day in August, everyone vacationing in Maine decided to go to Freeport, needless to say parking was hard to come by. Anyway, as we are leaving the store we arrive just in time to see the whole thing.

A man had just pulled out of a spot, and a couple on the other side of the row of cars wantewd the spot, so he let his wife go stand in the spot to save it for him. Well, another couple saw the man pull out too, and also wanted the spot. So they drove over to pull in, managed to get his front end in just as the wife enters the spot.

Of course, the driver immediatly stops. He stares at the lady, expecting her to move. Of course, she doesn't, and by this time her husband has come around the other side to face the other driver. He got of the car and started to explain to the driver that he had his wife save the spot for him. Well, the other guy didn't like this. He got out and declared she move, or else he'll run her over.

"You can't have her save a spot! I got here first, it's mine!"

"But I saw it first, so it's mine!"

This continued for several minutes, to the point where the wife was sitting down in the spot, both men and the second guy's wife were out of their cars yelling, and quite a crowed had gathered. Of course, they were blocking traffic in that row, and several spots had come and gone. My dad even offered one of the guys his spot, right next to the original one, but they both just yelled at him to mind his own business.

We didn't stick around to see what happened to them.

[Slithy Tove]

Lissa: That was a great story - and all of us who've been cashiers and endured that same treatment know that the customer isn't the villan - it's the manager (these are always the same types that talk about "teamwork!")

One of the strangest stunts I ever saw was at a marijuana smoke-in in Madison Wisconsin during the post-Vietnam riot - pre-Pail and Shovel era of the street pary scene. One bon-vivant was casually leaning against the flagstone pillar of a park shelter house, steady and sober - not at all spacey-looking - just taking it all in, but oblivious to the spreading wet stain on the front of his pants. Finally he looked down and saw what he'd done, and without any show of emotion he walked a few yards away until he was waist-deep in Lake Menona (or Mendota? I think it was the one without any Otis Redding in it). Then he strooed back out and resumed his place at the pillar. There was a lesson in there somewhere. Um - the indomitability of the human spirit - especially when baked?

[activgurl]

I was working as a vendor in a small grocery store in Ohio. A man came inside & loudly announced that he wanted someone to call the police, as another male was waiting outside to beat his ass. Seems the first man had been dating the wife of the second man. This complaining fellow had his daughter with him, and strode up & down the ailes, verbally abusing anyone in his path, & using quite a bit of profanity. Kept saying, "I didn't know she was married", and seemed upset that he himself had been cursed in front of his daughter. Obviously too afraid to go outside & take his medicine, but wasn't too afraid to accost the shoppers inside. He even kicked the tray of goods that I was standing beside. WTF? What do you have to prove to me, bad-ass? I was only too glad to get out of there that day.

[Tzel]

Jesus, Lissa, what an awful thing to happen to you. I've worked in shitty customer service jobs before so I know the kind of crap you have to go through, but I've never had anything quite that insane happen to me.

[Hokienautic]

Last year I was on the Washington Metrorail, and was treated to a VERY fun scene. I'm minding my own business (LOL ... don't have these stories start out this way?) with headphones on, when all of a sudden the woman behind me says "does somebody need a Kleenex?" Loud enough so I hear it above the music.

Everyone on the train is kind of looking around confused, but eventually shrug it off. Two minutes later, though: "A tissue?? Someone need one??" Ooooookay ... what the hell is this all about? FINALLY she says QUITE loudly, "Look, I'm two months pregnant and have morning sickness ... would whoever keeps sniffling all the time take my goddamn tissue? I'm about to throw up if I have to keep listening to you!"

The guy across the aisle from here speaks up, admits it was him and says, kind of snidely, "Sorry to inconvenience you!" But he takes a tissue and blows his nose. End of story.

Wrong! At the next stop, another woman who was sitting two seats in FRONT of the sniffling guy stands up, gets all up in the face of the pregnant lady and tells her "I can't believe you, that was so $@#@# rude! How DARE you be that rude? Learn some manners ... I feel sorry for your kid learning them from YOU!" And then she storms to the complete other end of the train to stew.

Pregnant lady then pulls an "oh no she DIDN'T!" and stands up, climbs over the guy sitting on the outside of her, and follows the other lady, standing over her seat screaming at her at the top of her lungs "I'M rude? YOU'RE the rude one! I can't help it if his %#@#@ sniffling makes me sick, I don't want to throw up all over the #@%#$#$ place" and back and forth for a good five minutes between the two of them.

The rest of the train, of course -- morning rush hour, so it's packed -- is just staring and kind of smirking in nervous disbelief at them. Truly an entertaining morning.

[CrankyAsAnOldMan]

This thread is much more depressing than funny, unfortunately.

We were leaving a restaurant and encountered a couple in a fight--I think the guy had just thrown his girlfriend down the stairs to their downtown apartment. We were so stunned, we didn't know what to do. She refused our help and said everything was fine, but to this day I feel guilty that we didn't do more.

This wasn't a HUGE scene, but... As I was waiting to pick up a prescription, a well-dressed woman came in to pick up the refill she'd called in. It wasn't ready, and the tech had no record of her call. She got VERY snappy and snotty, extremely condescending. He offered to look up her record (she spelled her name out in the most annoyed, put-upon manner) and still couldn't find her. She ranted about incompetence and how they'd lost her business and what a shoddy operation they were. I thought we'd seen the last of her, but a few minutes later she stomped triumphantly back in to the store, pill bottle in hand. "I've got it right here, maybe NOW you can figure it out!" The tech looks at the bottle and very softly and kindly points out to her that it was not filled at this pharmacy. Although HER tantrum had been loud enough for every customer to hear, I think only I heard his gentle correction of her error. He offered to call the other pharmacy and get it transferred, if she'd like. It was all *I* could do not to go over there and ask her if she'd like her crow salted before she ate it. The staggering thing was, she didn't apologize to the guy she'd been abusing. She got quieter, but seemed just as mad to find out she was wrong. Sigh. What a bitch.

Finally, one day I got to my car after a work and saw the scene of an accident in the garage. Two teenage girls were cowering, another couple were standing by the second car looking uncomfortable, and another man was screaming at the girls. It looked bad, exactly the kind of thing you'd hurry by if you could, but I thought jeez, this isn't right. I knew there was a police station in the ground floor of the garage, so I asked if there was anything I could do to assist (thinking I could ask an officer to come up). The guy snarled no. I said that things looked a little heated and maybe someone else could help calm things down. That really set him off. He yelled at me to mind my own damn business, that this was his daughter who took the car without permission, she is supposed to be at school, yadda yadda yadda. Well, that REALLY pissed me off. I just about yelled back. I said, "Look mister, I didn't know you were her father. I saw two girls being verbally abused and wanted to make sure no one was at risk. I know if my teenage daughter were out, I'd be goddamned grateful that a stranger were willing to stop and make sure everything was okay in a situation like this, even if their initial impression was wrong. You ought to be ashamed of yourself for jumping all over me. ASHAMED!!!!" And I stormed over to my car like a maniac. I overreacted big time. He was still an ass, though.

[ReservoirDog]

It was mid-afternoon on a Wednesday, I think, and I was riding the bus. At one stop, the door opened and you could hear this woman cursing before she even got on the bus

"Goddamned traffic! Goddamned buses! Goddamned traffic with all the cars!" Over and over again.

Imagine my surprise when the disgruntled owner of this loud mouth climbed slowly aboard and I saw that it was an extremely sweet looking yet very, very old lady. She was cursing up a storm as she shuffled down the aisle, and I could hardly believe it. I don't think I have ever heard an old lady use such language.

There happened to be a young man sitting with one of his legs stretched out. Although there was more than enough room for this lady to get past, she suddenly laid into him.

"Put your goddamned feet in you goddamned jerkoff! You damned jerkoff! If you want to sit like that, do it at your own house, you damned jerkoff! You're a damned jerkoff, sitting like that, goddamn you!"

The man basically ignored her, and looked like he was trying not to laugh, until she said, "You jerkoff, you must be Puerto Rican, you damn jerkoff. Goddamn Puerto Rican jerkoff!"

Eventually the guy replied, "You better keep quiet grandma, or somebody's gonna drag you off this bus." I don't think she heard him, as she kept mumbling as she sat down. Somehow seeing this old lady launch into a profane, racist rant against a total stranger really freaked me out.

[KrustyKlown]

Okay, here's one:

I went to the Walgreens near my house (in Chicago) one day, I believe to get some Smint. As I'm picking up the Smint, I start hearing some commotion from the front of the store. As this is Chicago, I'm not entirely surprised (I've gotten somewhat used to dealing with a lot more oddness since moving here). Anyway, the commotion gets somewhat louder, and then I see him...a large, buck-nikked man running through the store. This was the summer of '99, which was quite hot here, and I heard the man yell "I'm sorry, I don't have a gun, I'm just very, very hot." I could almost understand. I mean, Walgreens had some damned good AC going that day. And it wasn't hard to tell he didn't have a gun. I mean, there was no place to put it...no place I'd like to think about, anyway.

So he's running all around, and eventually ends up on top of the little cashier counter at the exit, holding onto a sign hanging from the ceiling, and yelling, "I AM a lawyer, do not call the police, I am not armed, I am a lawyer...." I'm thinking, "Well which law allows you to do this?" He then started shouting, "I WANT a lawyer" which made a lot more sense. He also said his family was very hot too.

Obviously someone called the police anyway, even after his pleas, because they start showing up. Everyone was up front, just staring amazedly. We could almost see his pupils alternating in dilation. The cops had blocked the doors, so we couldn't go anywhere. One woman was covering her two kids' eyes and saying, "Oh my Gawwwwd." I just found that hysterical. So anyway, the cops continue to pile in, one after another, until there were around twenty of them, and I'm not exaggerating. So they finally manage to wrestle this guy down, this one, unarmed, naked man and take him out. I lost sight of them after that.

The interesting part, after all that, is that I realized I must have become very, very jaded (I'm sure it has everything to do with video games and Hollywood...stupid entertaining violence), because I just left, went to Burger King, went home, and didn't even remember to tell my roommates about it for a couple of hours. It was as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. God bless Chicago.

This also gives you an answer to that age-old riddle: How many Chicago cops does it take to arrest a naked man?

Okay, that was my first post. You guys finally dragged it out of me. Oh, and Lissa? Holy Shit. I think I would've had to smack your manager.

[Heath Doolin]

When I was working as a bouncer, I came to the front of the club I was at to find a girl weeping near the entrance sitting on a curb and some drunk guy verbally abusing her. I asked the person in line what was up and the guy said the drunk ass had slapped her. I was about to go over when this little old Asian man slowed from his nightly walk that I had seen him doing past the club. He bent over and offered the woman his hand, and the guy, who was leaning against a wall screaming curses at her, went batshit. He started yelling "DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT C--T!" and charged at the man.
Now this Asian does not even turn to face him, but executes one of the most beautiful reverse spin kicks I ever saw and connected perfectly with the drunk ass's face. One shot and he was out cold. Everyone responded with a huge round of applause and the old man simply helped her up, gave her his card, bowed to her and walked off like he never even stopped. Funny thing was the girl then rooted in the cold cocked guys pockets, got his keys and took off, leaving him lying in the street. And he stayed there for a while.

And they say chivalry is dead

[kid charlemagne]

My brother and I were in a movie theater watching "Very Bad Things" (aka very bad movie). Anyway, we were sitting in the top left section all the way to the back. Now the seats in this theater were the ones that recline/rock ever so slightly. There were 3 mid-20's guys sitting in the seats directly in front of us and there were 3 teenage guys sitting in the seats directly in front of them. The fella in the middle seat directly in front of us was wearing a neck brace(this is important later). Apparently about halfway through the movie the middle seat-sitting teenager decides to rock his seat back and forth very quickly causing the back of the seat to hit the guy with a neck brace's knees. Needless to say neck brace guy didn't like this one bit and pointed it out to his buddy on the left. Buddy on the left then tells the middle seat-sitting teen to knock it off and slaps him upside the back of his head. This set it off, middle seat teenager jumps up, turns around thinking it was the neck brace guy and punches him square right in the neck!

Now at this point, the movie becomes secondary and I figure a nice brawl is going to ensue right here and I got ringside seats. Well it didn't. Everyone, including the punching teen was shocked, he freaked out and started screaming, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't know he was disabled! It was dark and I didn't see the neck brace!" Well of course, neck brace guys friends didn't believe this and laid into him with expletives and other profane comments, but no fists(smart too, beating up a minor is not the brightest idea). By that time an usher finally made his way up there and escorted all of them out of the theater, amid some jeers and applause by some of the theater occupants. The movie certainly wasn't worth the $7 but the scene sure was.

[Hecubis]

Years ago I was on a happy family vacation with my family. I was about 11 or 12 and my brother was 13. We were enjoying the sites in some Yukon town and were walking along a raised boardwalk which was bordered by a parking area. It was about a few metres down to the road so you could see the tops of the cars parked there, on the other side of the parked cars was a busy road. It was a nice sunny afternoon and there were a lot of people and families wandering around. (Sorry just setting up the scene). Away as we were walking along my family glanced down and could see through the sun roof of a car below where a woman was giving head to the driver while we reclined in the driver's seat. My father laughed and my mother dragged us away. My brother and I were in hysterics. Ahhh family memories. What I don't understand is what those people thought they were doing - freaks.

[panamajack]

This scene was more surreal than shocking -- it's the setting that makes it ...
Two years ago I was backpacking through Europe, and it was my last night in Paris. Before I left I'd asked my father about good sights to see in Paris, and he'd recommended Montmartre, especially the church (Sacre-Coeur, which sits atop the hill overlooking the city). I hadn't seen it yet, but my friends (who were dating each other) wanted to spend some time together along the river, so I was on my own. Our hotel was right near the bottom of the hill, so I walked out and followed the signs up the stairways to the top.
There were a lot of people up there enjoying the view from the steps of the church. I was near the bottom of the steps, looking out over the city, when all of a sudden I heard a commotion above and behind me. A fight had broken out between two men, and in an instant each side's friends had restrained the struggling pair. However, one of them had kicked over an unopened bottle of beer. The bottle's top had opened slightly, and there was now a beer-rocket shooting across the steps -- it skidded and jumped about 12 steps down before stopping.
My view of the whole thing -- two groups of people surrounding the struggling fighters, the beer bottle bouncing down the steps, and the church in the background made a scene that would fit into a movie. A weird movie, maybe. When my friends later asked me how the view up there was, I could only tell them they really missed out on it.

[bdgr]

I used to work in a all convience store when I was still in colledge.. ...lot of wierd stuff happened, but one thing stands out.

It was on a fairly busy friday night, several customers getting gas etc. When this small pickup comes flying through the parking lot, and around behind the building, folloed closely by a mustang. We on the corner of two busy streets and this wasn't all that unusual, but then I started hearing crashing sounds over and over comeing from behind the store. Customers started leaveing, and one customer ran in and gave me a piece of paper with liscence plate numbers on it, then ran out the door and left. I picked up the phone and called the cops, and while on the phone with them this guy runs in with blood pouring down his face(the drive of the truck). I can hear a girl screaming outside, and the guys say "you gotta help me man, thier beating up my girlfriend". So I tell the cops I gotta go and to send an ambulance, grab my 6 d cell mag lite, and run out the door. The guys start climbing back in the mustang, its front end all smashed from being rammed by the truck, and haul down the street. The guys bother shows and is having a fit about what just happend, and I see a cop car at the intersection, so I flag her down with the flash light. she pulls in and asks what is going on, and before I can say a word they guys brother starts scream at the cop, pound on the hood of her car, and telling her shes a stupid bitch and that they are getting away. So as shes putting him down on the hood of the car she calls for backup on her radio. I look over, the and truck is pulling out of the parking lot with the guy and his girlfriend in it. at this point(the brother wasn't fighting or anything), I walk back inside and turn on both coffee makers and watch as the parking lot fills up with fire trucks, ambulances, and police cars.(we still ran out of coffee pretty quick).
No victom, no suspects. A lot of irritated city employees.

[El_Kabong]

I witnessed an amazing amount of deranged behavior during my decade in France. Here are some highlights; you all can decide the winner:

1989, Paris: I am walking up Rue Saint Denis back to my hotel, when suddenly a huge black man walking ahead of me in the same direction suddenly turns, shouts something I don't understand, then whacks me savagely over the head with a half-filled 2 liter bottle of Pepsi. At least a dozen people are nearby, but no does anything except gather around to watch the show. As I stand there, dazed, he continues screaming, and it gradually dawns on me that he is accusing me of trying to sneak up and rob him. In my broken French, I try to say that I'm an American and I don't need to rob anyone (ridiculous, I know, but I was in a complete state of shock). This just enrages him further, and he begins to repeatedly screech "Fuck America! Fuck America!" while menacing me with his bottle of soda. Finally, he strides off, and is still shouting "Fuck America" when he disappears around the next corner.

1990, Paris, Christmas Day: A drunk woman, coatless, stands in the rain along the road in front of Gare du Nord, half-empty bottle of wine in hand, cursing and literally spitting at every car that passes.

1992, Paris, riding the #20 bus towards Jardin Luxembourg: a woman in a Mini approaches the bus head-on on the narrow street. There is no room to pass because of cars parked on both sides. She comes to a halt, and, instead of reversing to let the bus through, she smirks through the windscreen, takes her hands off the wheel and crosses her arms. Even though she need only back up a couple of car lengths, and there is no traffic behind her, she obviously expects the 20-ton bus, with about ten cars trailing, to back up half a block and let her through. After nearly five minutes of this Mexican standoff, and with a cop approaching on foot, she finally relents.

1996, Paris, Rue Chateau-Landon: Two cars traveling the same direction screech to a stop adjacent to the Metro entrance. Both (male) drivers jump out and start yelling at each other over someone's failure to yield at the previous stoplight. To emphasize his point, Driver 1 shatters his opponents' right headlight with a well-aimed kick. D2 immediately retaliates by punching out D1's left tail light. This is the cue for both drivers, with fists and feet, to begin systematically bashing in the panels of each other's car. After a few moments, and having done probably $2000 USD in damage to their vehicles, they jump into their respective wrecks and roar off.

1998, on the Autoroute somewhere past Chartres: I'm driving my girlfriend and her sister on a weekend trip to the Dordogne. We pass a small wood that opens out into farmland. Just then I look to the right and see a man standing just outside the wire fence along the right-of-way, in full view of southbound traffic. His trousers are down around his ankles and, with a grin as huge as his erection, he is masturbating furiously. His Renault is parked on a nearby dirt road, positioned for a quick exit.

And there's more where these came from...

[Holy Avenger]

This isn't the most shocking, really, but it's the first that comes to mind. Couple of years ago at a college football game: CSU versus Wyoming. "The Border War" I guess they call it out here.

We're in bleacher seats near one end zone and a group of kids -- 15, 16 years old, maybe -- that were seated at the top of the stands start chucking popcorn, peanuts and other assorted garbage down at this one dude sitting there with his girlfriend. No real reason they picked this guy, as far as I could tell. The dude gets hit in the head, he looks up the stands, he sees those kids there -- pretty much by themselves... and he lets it go. It happens again, no big deal, rah bah bah. The third time he gets pegged with something, though, he jumps up and screams at one particular kid.

"If I get hit one more time, I'm coming up there to beat the [hell] out of YOU." He indicates one kid out of the pack. "No matter who throws it, you're the guy I'M throwing off the side of the stadium." I'm sitting there completely uninvolved and simply recording my personal notes on mankind, but admittedly impressed. Get one of them to work for you! That was certainly a better solution to it than what I could have thought of.

Needless to say the little gromits all of a sudden didn't have anything else to chuck for the rest of the game. It's funny how their supply of refuse dried up right then.

(Oh, and two other warring factions of teenagers, completely separate from the aforementioned tale, CRYING like banshees with skinned knees when the cops pulled them away from each other and off to jail or wherever. It was like that one music video "Beat It" right before our very eyes, except much more pathetic.)

[Dignan]

I'm sure plenty people here have seen fights before, no big deal. This one was kind of my first that I saw between grown men.

As I was leaving the mall with my Dad we were going through some department store (Sears?). As we're walking out a guy that looked pretty big (strong big, but he was wearing a big bulky down coat) was walking with his girlfriend/wife to presumably return the miniature suit that he was carrying (that was apparently for his son). Two other big guys in coats walked by and said something to him, I couldn't hear exactly but something about the little suit being for him although I'm sure it would have been more vulgar had I heard it entirely. The guy turned around and started yelling back at him about how it was for his son, his girlfriend/wife started tugging at him to keep walking, but he headed towards the two other guys. I turned, then I heard a noise and turned back around and saw a cart (the kind they stack clothes on and leave out in the middle of walkways and paths) come rolling down the aisle and see a scuffle. It was hard to tell what exactly was happening, one guy was kind of halfway standing and two other guys were on the ground and my were there feathers. Feathers, and feathers, and feathers, and feathers. Feathers everywhere, with all of the feathers coming out of this little huddle was so cartoonish. Pretty creepy to a kid in grade school that saw his first real fight.

[xizor]

I'll never forget being in Sears at the age of 10 or so. Just standing there with my mom when all of a sudden we hear somebody crying/screaming excruciatingly loud. It doesn't stop after about 5 minutes so we go try to find out what is going on. We see a crowd gathered by the bottom of one of the escalators. From other members of the crowd, we learned that some boy got his shoelace caught at the bottom of the escalator and it had pulled his foot into it before shutting off (this was back before they had the emergency shut off switches). I never actually saw the kid but he never stopped screaming the whole time we were there (another 20-25 minutes maybe). It still haunts me to the point that I always check my shoelaces before getting on escalator.

[Zebra]

Ok I am about to vent here.

I worked in the movie theatre business for many years. I have thrown masturbating men out of Disney films (as well as Natural Born Killers) and I have had to deal with people who can’t use movie phone properly and start screaming me because they didn’t know they had to bring their credit card to the theatre to pick up the tickets. No all of those scenes do not compare to wedding.


Now you might think that a wedding is a happy occasion. But I’m telling you that the wedding in Holy Grail would have been preferable.

Some Background

I am the youngest of six kids. (two boys, two girls and then two more boys) My brother, who was the youngest of five until I came along has probably ‘had issues’ with me since before I was born. Now , He likes the spotlight. He likes to be the center of attention. Anytime I received positive attention he would move in and cut me down. Growing up I tended to keep a low profile but when you are the groom you get a lot of attention. . Most of the choices I took into consideration how he would react to it. (Actually I constantly hear his voice critiquing my every move.) We mad sure to have a vegetarian option on the menu. Who are the vegetarians in attendance? My brother and his wife. Now for various reasons I did not have any of my brothers in my wedding party. It’s my choice so they can just deal. When we announced that we were getting married (7 months before this) my mother told his daughter that she would be the flower girl. My wife and I nixed this idea. No flower girl and no ring bearer. My niece was not very upset as she was only four at the time. Much latter we realized that we need people to bring up the gifts. (in mass someone brings up the water and the wine and the communion hosts, these are the gifts) So my wife asked my sister to have her kids do this. She has twin sons (11 at the time) and a daughter who was 7. The boys serve as alter boys at their home church. Now in planning the wedding and reception we come to several choices that were made specifically to appease my brother. We ‘chose’ him to do one of the readings. (Catholic Mass) For the reception my in-laws for weddings have a no pre-teen rule. (Very formal wedding here) Several of my wife’s cousins fell into this category and the older ones got hired (by me) to sort of run a kid party at my in-laws house. I have two siblings with children that would go to this party. My sister said ‘Thank God,!’ My brother is divorced and only sees his little girl a few times a year and he didn’t like the idea. I guess he wanted to spend every moment of ‘his’ time with her, although he wasn’t doing that the entire weekend. I also planned a non-traditional rehearsal dinner. I wanted to get to spend time with my family so all of them (not just the wedding party) and some of my wife’s came to a picnic at a park. I did make sure that there were some portebello (sp) mushrooms for he and his wife but those got lost somewhere.. At the rehearsal tensions are high because my wife is late and the priest needs to be somewhere else. So he starts with the readers. My brother is an actor and knows how to project his voice. He started reading in a somewhat quiet voice. The priest asked him to speak up. He started reading just a little bit louder. The priest asked him to speak up. He then BELLOWED out the reading. (this is in the church that my in-laws attend and have attended for most of their lives) He then stomps down and glares at the priest and BELLOWS out WAS THAT LOUD ENOUGH? Then he throws the piece of paper that his reading was typed on to the floor and walks out and leaves for the rehearsal dinner. I don’t think he could have been any worse unless he took a dump in the baptismal fountain. I am shaking with rage and my wife walks in at the end of this and between the stress and migraine headache she is getting she has a little crying bit. This brings up in me every time I had a crying bit caused by the torment he handed me for the last 33 years. I reswallow my bile and ask my mother to do the reading in his place. When I get to the picnic grounds I have rented for the day he is there and comes up to me and tersely says ‘We have to talk.’ “We sure do.” I reply and he launched into me about how could I have our sisters kids have a part in the ceremony and not his! I am going to destroy her self image for the rest of her life. I point out that she is only 5 and I have know her mother isn’t raising her Catholic so this is the first mass she is attending and how my wife has many cousins who would be next in line anyway. I inform him that he is being replaced as a reader and he say “All right let’s go.” He is not inviting me to a movie no my brother challenged me to a fight at my rehearsal diner. I just put down my glasses and said bring it on. He taunts me with ‘You’re going to look funny in you wedding photos with a black eye and how he is going to whip my ass. I make a mistake at this point. I tell him how if I can’t whip his ass there are about 30 people who come over and finish the job for me while pointing to the gathering crowd about 50 yards away. I should have let him throw his punch so everyone could know the true face of the demon that I had to share a room with until I was 15. I should have let everyone see just how low he really is. But he then backs down and just goes back to the party and pretends that nothing is wrong. But his curse on my wedding photos was done. I look pissed off in most of them and I get pissed off looking at them.

The thing that really burns me is that I know he thinks that he is the wronged party and is blameless. Other then nodding and smiling at him at the reception I really haven’t spoken to him since. (almost 4 years)

Well actually we did speak at another brothers funeral a year ago. I should relate his behavior there as it fits into this thread as well but I have a headache now from recalling this and can’t take the double whammy now.

Sorry for the length and for the fact that parts of it won’t make any sense but I just felt the need to add this to the list.

[Dignan]

Zebra, that's a terrible story. I'm very sorry about all of that.

[Zenster]

Originally posted by Zebra
...Other than nodding and smiling at him at the reception I really haven’t spoken to him since. (almost 4 years)...

Sounds like a good start there Zebe. What an @sshole!

[matt_mcl]

Originally posted by Lissa
When I was sixteen, I had a job at the local K-Mart....

Lissa, I told your story to my roommate Hamish. Would you like to know what he said?

"Yup, that happened to me."
"Yup, that happened to me."
"Yup, that happened to me."

There are some scary people out there, folks. Be nice to your service people.

[Muffin]

A prisoner in the box tried to peg the judge with her used tampon. As the cops wrestled with her, she went on about HepV and AIDS. She was jambed up against another prisoner, a tough male, who freaked. Things sort of went downhill.

[Viscera]

Well, technically, I DIDN'T start this one, but alas...

Coming home from high school on a normal day. Taking the CTA Blue Island Line to the Cook County Courthouse, then transferring to a southbound California bus. Well, like happens frequently, my bus passes Kelly H.S. at the time it lets out. Sigh. Imagine them filling up the bus, acting totally impervious to anyone else already on the bus. Most of the time the driver has to close the door and refuse more people because people are squished in like sardines. Numbnuts somehow manage to pull the emergency exit for the rear bus door.

Anyway, I'm sitting, and I get up and pull the string to let the driver know I wanted to get off at 51st. Well, I couldn't push through the people to get to the back door to get off (it was still broken, meaning, it would open at anytime, not just when the driver opened it from up front). Well, I get to the back door halfway between 51st and 52nd (the next stop, no big deal), and some asshole apparently didn't like the fact that I must have pushed him or something trying to get off the bus (it was still packed). So, the bus is cruising along at 30mph, when Mr. Asshole and his friends (probably didn't help that I was white, and his friends were black) shove me out the back door. Missed a lightpost by about 5 feet, landed in some grass. Of course, the bus stops, the assholes immediately take off on foot. Somehow I managed to walk to a corner store and called 911 and home. The cops came, but they couldn't do too much, and I refused ambulance treatment, since I really didn't feel too bad, some scrapes. Course, I had one helluva whiplash the next day and the two days after.

[Commander Fortune]

I think i've told this story here before.

I used to manage The Last American Diner (http://stardust.jpl.nasa.gov/aboutcafe.html) and we got some fairly busy weekday lunches. The Diner, being a local landmark, attracted a peculiar mix of regular customers and tourists.

This particular summer day, a group of regulars consisting of several developmentally disabled adults and their attendants came in for lunch. Nothing unusual about that - they were a good group and always friendly and enthusiastic about mostly mediocre Diner fare. You could tell they had a great time coming there.

One of the DD women, probably between 25 and 30, went to use the restroom while the rest of the party stayed at the table. A few minutes later she exited the bathroom and started to make her way back to her party, STARK NAKED. She had removed all of her clothing and was now sauntering through the nearly full restaurant. Her attendant spotted her pretty quickly and he made his way to intercept her about 20 feet from the restroom, right at the edge of the smoking section.

As he approached, the screaming started. Someone fetched her clothes from the ladies room (the other attendant? - I don't remember clearly) as he tried to get her back to the bathroom. She began to struggle, and flail and scream even louder. Ultimately, this resulted in a full "take down" of the naked woman with the two attendants holding her down and wrestling her clothes back on her the best they could. All the while she was screaming incoherent bloody murder. From all appearances it looked like a brutal rape was happening in the back of the smoking section.

Meanwhile, all I could do was skate around the dining room refilling water and ice tea and say, "It's OK, he knows what he's doing." and "It's alright, sorry for the disruption." Casting furtive looks in their direction while trying to pretend it wasn't happening.

That's the best story. There are more though. Maybe I'll post them too if this thread sticks around.

[Earthman]

When I was in college, I spent a few summers driving a beer truck. One day, I was on a rural route, delivering beer to the concession stand/ranger station at a local lake. I noticed a bass boat coming in to dock, a little too fast I thought, and I heard the two fishermen on it arguing loudly - and drunkenly.
The boat hit the dock fairly hard - not hard enough to do any real damage, but hard enough to knock them both off their feet to the deck. The one who had been closer to the wheel bellowed profanity at the one in the bow, who jumped off the boat onto the dock. His `friend' jumped off after him, tackled him, and begain raining wildly swung blows on him. They both got to their feet and began flailing drunkenly at one another, only connecting once in a while.
The rangers were evidently all out on the lake at the time, and the concession stand attendant ran inside to call the sheriff. I wasn't about to get in the middle of those two, and as it turned out I didn't need to, because the one who had been steering the boat suddenly noticed that since no one had tied it up, it was now drifting back out into the lake. He ceased beating at his companion and jumped into the lake to swim after his boat. I lost track of his companion as I watched him swim out to it, until I noticed a pickup truck, with an empty boat trailer, spraying gravel as it sped out of the parking lot. The guy in the boat was very upset that his buddy had stolen his truck and trailer! When I went back to restock the stand the next week, I found out that the one was arrested for operating a boat under the influence, and the other for DWI - but not for auto theft, and neither for assault.
I guess the moral here is, "Choose your fishing buddies wisely!"

[Kyla]

This happened at my bookshop a couple months ago. I walked in during the middle of the scene, but have since been informed about what occurred previously. FTR, this is a nice bookstore in a nice suburban town.

A woman came into the shop on a Sunday morning with her two daughters, ages 7 and 2, plus or minus. She asked my coworker Kelly if we had any books on dog shows. Apparently, her elder daughter was going to do a report on dog shows for school, or something. So, Kelly checked the computer, and it didn't look like we had anything useful in the store. She offered to order something in, but the woman became extremely agitated, and, holding her baby in one arm and a plastic Tonka truck in the other hand, ran around the sales counter and started attacking my coworker with the toy truck.

This is when I walked in.

The first words I heard as I walked into the store were "You fucking bitch! What the fuck is the matter with you? You hit a woman with a child!" And so on. While she attacked my coworker. Kelly was completely shocked and sputtered, "Get out! I'm calling the police!" The woman yelled back, "I hope you do, you bitch! What the fuck is your problem? You don't hit women with children!" And she dragged her kids out of the store.

I don't think I need to say that there is no way my coworker would ever hit a customer, with or without a child. The very idea is completely ludicrous. I don't know what could have possibly set this woman off. Anyway, we called the police and gave statements, but I don't know if anything ever happened as a result; we were primarily worried about the safety of the children in the hands of someone so obviously violently unbalanced.

In a non-violent weird public scene. One of my professors in college had a breakdown in the middle of class once. This was a large lecture class (about 250 students) and a guy in the very back got up to leave in the middle of a lecture. She stopped the lecture and asked, "You! In the back! Where are you going?" Clearly very startled at her caring in the slightest, he said, "I have a midterm. I have to study for it." Anyway, this set her off on a rant about students not showing her any respect that lasted about ten minutes and ended with her crying.

BTW, she was probably the worst professor I ever had, breakdown notwithstanding.

[Lexicon]

With almost five years of experience in the "security industry" (read: bouncer and concert) I have seen a lot of silly shit go down.

Anecdote 1:
(false names used because it seems weird not to)

background info:

At this college bar I used to bounce at, there was this couple, Tim and Marce, who were regs. They would come in all the time, and at least once a month Tim would get unholy drunk and slap Marce around. None of us understood this, becuase Marce was totally hot, an accomplished martial artist and kickboxer. She actually came there because I met her at my school.

In any case, once a month we would have to jump on Tim and throw him out when they started yelling at one another. We would call the cops as soon as we threw him out because we knew that Marce would follow him out, and we could only watch helplessly as he slapped the shit out of her and she just took it. This is because there is some stupid law in that city that says you can't so something to someone on public property once you toss them. Whatever.

Anyway, a couple weeks have gone by and Tim and Marce haven't had it out so we're starting to expect it. Sure enough, they start to argue and swear at each other, and Tim makes like he's gonna pimp-slap Marce. I'm right behind him and grab him and toss him out. Marce is right behind me, following him out, like always... or maybe not.

Big scene:
As soon as they are outside, as we're on the phone to the cops, we something beautiful:

Tim reaches back like a pimp to bitch-slap Marce. She drops into a stance, ducks under Tim's clumsy ho-check, and SLAMS a perfect palm strike into his crotch. Before he can collapse, she shrieks up from her crouched position with a mother upper-cut and rattles his eyeballs. He hits the ground like a sack of potatoes, as we look on in slack-jawed awe.
She continues to curse at him, kicking the ever-loving shit out of this guy as he lay unconscious on the sidewalk. By the time the cops got there she had stopped and just stood by as they scooped Tim up and put him in an ambulance. We later found out that he suffered a concussion, four broken ribs, a broken wrist, a dislocated pelvis (however the hell that happens) and got 10 stitches in his concussed head-piece.
Now that fucker got what he deserved. Marce got off on self-defense, which is to say she only got a year of probation.

That wasn't the weirdest thing I've ever "scene" though. That has to go to one that I started...


anecdote 2

Same bar, many moons later. As a bouncer, you don't really beat the shit out of people so much as you "restrain and remove" them.
So in the interest of doing so, I'm muscling this dude to the front doors one night. The way this was typically done in my bar was to push the door open with your hip and then chuck the guy out onto the wide downtown sidewalks. Then you could shut the door while they were recovering and prepare for if they attempted to get back in.

Well, all is going as planned. I have this guy in sort of a chicken-wing-sleeper-hold type thing and he's fightin' me every step of the way. We get to the doors, I bump it open with my hip and toss the dude bodily out the door.

...Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of humor...

...and toss the guy out bodily. Right smack into one of those mountain-bike cops. The fact that they were on a collision course still blows my mind.

Anyway, I toss the guy and he takes out a bike-cop. The cop eats shit over the hood of a parked car Wayne's World style, and lands in the street. He gets up, all pissed off, and comes around the car. His helmet is all askew, his face is red, his gear is all turned around, and he is fuming. He looks at his bike, which is all fucked up with a huge dent in the front tire, and grabs the guy who ran into him. He cuffs him, and calls for backup. They arrest the guy, stuff him into a squad car and take him away. He's screaming that it wasn't his fault the whole time.

As this is all going down, I'm standing behind the mirrored facade of the bar in which I work, thinking "No fuckin' way that just happened!"

That was shocking. And in public, so I guess it qualifies. Either way, it was hilarious.

[Homer]

Lex, you've told that story twice now, and I've laughed till I nearly pissed both times. :D

--Tim

[Lexicon]

Some stories never get old, I guess. Er maybe they do, I don't know. I just try to bring a little sunshine into everyone's day...
*sniff*

Hold me, Tim. Where are you going? Don't run away from your feelings!

[TiffTZell]

I remember my old Job, I had a supervisor that hated me. One night she got mad at me for something or other and she came into the cafeteria and started screaming at me at the top of her lungs. I worked at a hospital, so screaming was not uncommon, but after a while a huge crowd gathered. I was crying by this time because I did not know what to do, customers were backing up. I decided to leave the department and call our head supervisor because I had no clue what else to do, I was so upset I hit a wall and about knoked myself out. I finally blindly made it to a phone to call and he told me to leave- so I went back to get my coat and my supervisor was still there screaming. By this time someon had called my house and told someone to come get me, SO my mother walks in because she thought something was wrong. My supervisor proceeded to call my mom names and then told her she did a lousy job raising me. Needless to say we left quickly. The next day I was blamed for the whole thing and was written up, and Our head supervisor told me to grow up and learn how to behave. Now I remember, it was because i told her that i had to close the grill down and reclean it because someone had spilled something on it. Anyway he also told me that my mother was not allowed back in the department because she had hurled racial slurs at the other supervisor(not true)
By this time I was crying again and a crowd yet again began to gather, I turned around and tried to walk away because I was determined to go put in my two weeks , and who should I run into but the original supervisor who started it, she claimed i intentionally pushed her and tried to attack me , hairnet and all.
I did not work there much longer after that

[Pnuk Guy]

2 Short stories to amuse yourselves with.

1. Went to Amsterdam and was sitting in one of the 'cafes' chilling out nicely.
All of a sudden this bloke just stands up and starts shouting at random people. A couple of blokes go up to him and ask him to calm down (nice and relaxed :)) so he does.
About half an hour later this bloke stands up... walks outside..... drops his kecks and starts to palm one off in the middle of the afternoon!

the mind boggles.

2. Queueing up in MacDonalds and an Asian man barges past me and starts shouting at the cashier.

'I wanted a Cheeseburger' He shouts. The cashier assures him that he's got a cheeseburger.

'NO... A CHEESEBURGER' he replies 'This has MEAT in it, i'm a vegetarian, it's against my religion'

The cashier seems stunned, and trys to explain that a cheeseburger HAS meat in it, but the man is getting increasingly more agitated. I think he ended up getting a free Veggie meal from the management... but you have to wonder at some people. :)

[corvidae]

This one is pretty tame. I once worked at this mail order toy company as an order taker. The office was run entirely by 4 women - the accountant, the office manager, the owner and me. One day, the owner storms into the office in this rage, and in front of everyone, growls in my face, "You have your period, don't you?!"

I thought this was a joke at first, but no, this woman was entirely serious. I was too shocked to do anything but say yes to the shrieking harpy. She then turns around and then blames me for her getting her period early! As it turns out, everyone had synchronized to her cycle, but me and my peasant pheremones were strong enough to throw her off. Served the witch right, I say.

[Stuffy]

Well I was a participant in this scene, but I didn't start it.

My brothers, sister and I (I'm 2 of 6) as well as spouses & children were having a BBQ at my sisters place. She lived in one of those Apt buildings with a huge courtyard and benches in the center. My ex wife was holding our son who at the time was 6mos old. It was a nice day and we were having a great time. That's when my older brother and his GF show up. (I should mention that my older brother and I rarely got along before this. He had a habit of bullying me when we were kids, he's 3 years older)

My Ex and his gf were good friends. she asked me to take the baby while she went to help his gf get things out of the car. My brother was leaning against the car. I can see an animated discussion take place between my brother and my ex. Then my brother comes walking up to me. My ex tells me my brother need to borrow some money and she said no.

My brother ask me directly, I also say no. He says "oh, so your b@#%h is running things". I say no you should try and pay people back before borrowing again. (At the time he owed me at least $300). He then proceeds to hit me, right in the face. I'm still holding my son. So I just wrapped my arms around him as I fell to the concrete. My ex freaks and takes the baby. If I have ever been more pissed of, I don't remember it.

I got up, kicked him in the groin and start beating him.
The fight then proceeds all over the court yard. My sister tries to break it up, my younger brothers pull us apart. They tell me to go in my sisters place (upstairs). My wife is already there with the baby. Before I can even ask if he's all right my older brother is banging on the sreen door demanding that I come back out and finish things.

I'm so mad I don't even think. I rush and slam into the sceen door with as much force as possible. The screen door slams into my older brother sending him crashing into the railing, which began to separate from the stairs. He falls down the stairs and grabs my legs, so I'm falling with him. When I get my bearings again (lying at the bottom of the stairs) there are about 10 cops standing there.

My Mom wouldn't speak to either of us for a week (me because I refused to drop the charges). I still barely speak to my older brother.

[Zebra]

Originally posted by stuffinb

I got up, kicked him in the groin and start beating him.


I still barely speak to my older brother.




Yes!


Do people (other relatives) give you a hard about not speaking to him?

[Klaatu]

I guess this one could go in the shockingly cruel category.

As I was leaving my apartment one morning (snow on the ground, temp around 20°F), I saw a young couple arguing by the swimming pool. As I passed, I gathered that:
A) She was highly pissed.
B) She had his car keys, he had to go to work, and she wasn't about to give them back.

He didn't seem drunk, and I have no idea what the deal was.
As I got in my car, I saw her turn and throw his keys in the pool. In the deep end! (Note: All the scoop nets, etc were put away for the winter.)

I don't what he did to deserve that, but I felt for the poor dude. Later on I thought it was funny as hell!

[Stuffy]

[response to Hijack]All the time. Mostly my Mom, though. My responses tend to be along the lines of "Oh, I'm supposed to forgive somebody that has a history of doing disgusting things like that". As you may have guessed, my childhood was filled with him doing crap like that, until I caught up with him in size and could defend myself anyway. To this day I still have thoughts about "what if I handn't... [/end response to hijack]

[Sunshine]

In December, I went to the Post Office to mail my Christmas cards. Naturally, there was a big crowd, like 30 people, so I went over to the little ticket machine and took a number (65). As I'm standing by the machine, I see that someone had left number 48 on the floor. I thought to myself, "Gee...I could pick that up and have my turn earlier..." (They were only on something like number 40 at the time) There wasn't really a line, just a bunch of people standing around, so it would've been really easy to fake like I really did have that number. But then I thought about how jerky that was and how pissed off I'd be if I was one of the people that knew they were there before me. So anyway, I had just reached the conclusion that anyone who "illegally" picked up that number would be a huge jerkoff, when this million year old man came in the door and took a number (66). He looked at it, looked at the crowd and then spied the nubmer 48 on the floor, which he proceeded to pick up. (At which point I was really pissed that I didn't pick it up and at least throw it away or something so nobody else could jump the line...but then I figured, hey, he's an old man, give him a break...might as well not make him stand here any longer than he has to.)

So we wait a few minutes and they call number 43. The old man starts walking up to the window at the same time as some other guy, who actually has the real number 43. They reach the window at the same time and the old man declares that he has 43 and it's his turn. The other guy says, "I don't think so...I have 43." And the Post Office lady says, "Let me see your tickets" so they both hold up their tickets, which clearly say 43 and 48 but obviously either the old guy can't read his and thinks his illegal 48 is actually 43 or he is just a crotchety old man and wants to cut the line even more. Then the Post Office lady says the other guy has number 43 and the old man starts yelling and pounding his cane on the floor, screaming that he has number 43, can't she read, look it says 43 right here, I'm next, I'm next and shoving the ticket in the nice Post Office lady's face. EVERYONE is silent and staring at the old man causing this huge scene...and the other guy, who has not said anything else, just says, "That's ok. He can go ahead of me." And the old man gets all huffy and repeats that he has 43 and it's HIS turn and nobody is LETTING him go ahead. So the Post Office lady says VERY loudly, "Fine, sir. Even though you clearly have number 48, I will help you next because this nice man who ACTUALLY has number 43 has been gracious enough to let you cut in line ahead of him." to which the old man responds, "God damn post office."

Everyone was just staring, could not believe he had caused such a ruckus over a number that wasn't even HIS to begin with! When he left everybody laughed.

[Rilchiam]

Originally posted by stuffinb
He then proceeds to hit me, right in the face. I'm still holding my son. So I just wrapped my arms around him as I fell to the concrete.

Never, ever forgive him. And if your mom can't understand why you won't, forget her too.

[Flymaster]

Some of these have been tough to beat, but I'll try my best.

When I was 14, I worked as a parking attendant in a lot that was near a bunch of bars and a strip club. On friday nights, it wasn't uncommon for the strip club down the street to get 4 or 5 bachelor parties. Most of these would park in our lot and walk the rest of the way. A lot of the time, they would come in one of those little shuttle bus things that the "limo services" rent out.

So one friday or saturday, a little minibus comes in, I direct them to the row that we have reserved for such oversized vehicles, and they get out. The guys head over to the strip joint, and the driver gets out to talk to me and the other guy working that night. He eventually gets back into his bus and just starts reading or something.

The night goes on normally from here on, until about half an hour before we were about to leave for the night.

We hear a commotion coming down the street. "Fuck you!" and so on for about 2 minutes. We look, and lo and behold, it's the guys from the bachelor party.

They get to the lot, and start to walk to the bus. We watch, knowing that something entertaining is about to happen. Sure enough, what do we see but the groom and the best man about to get into a fight.

The best man pushes the groom down, and proceeds to beat the everloving shit out of him. I mean, punches to the head, kicks in the groin, everything you could imagine. I just clutch our giant MagLite, and figure the cops will be driving by shortly anyway.

Eventually the guys' friends drag them apart, and pull them away to opposite sides of the bus, where they try to talk some sense into them.

I figure that the entertainment is over, and go back to closing up for the night.

But then I hear it, right out of a Bud Light ad...

"I LOVE YOU, MAN!" Both of them were hugging.

It was almost surreal. A perfect circle, as they say.

[Siddhartha Vicious]

Zebra, you ought to send your story here.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/

[matt_mcl]

I remember when I was living with Eric, he called me one day from where he worked, a Famous Players. He asked me to come right away. So I made my way downtown and ran and get him. He was in the employee's locker room, sobbing and distraught, surrounded by his boss, some coworkers, and an emergency doctor. I ran to him, and I learned that his boss had accused him of stealing from the till. He had had a miniature nervous breakdown.

Eric didn't steal anything. They had gone through the video of his entire shift, and they could plainly see (and they admitted as much) that he hadn't taken a thing. But there was a small discrepancy in the totals, and as every manager knows, there are no mistakes. There is only theft, and clerks who steal. So even though they saw with their own eyes that he was perfectly honest, they shitcanned him anyway. Of course, since they didn't have a leg to stand on, they were "nice enough" to write it up as a dismissal rather than a firing for misconduct, so that he could collect UI. Whatever.

His boss was a big homophobe, too.

I know that wasn't exactly a public scene, but it seemed to fit in with the general shitty-jobs theme.