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View Full Version : Whose good opinion of you do you value most?


Skald the Rhymer
03-27-2010, 09:48 AM
In my case, it's a tie between my youngest sister and my best friend from college. They both think highly of me; in fact, I sometimes fear that they think TOO highly of me. I've frequently been brought back from the brink of doing foolish, immoral, or self-destructive things because I don't want to disappoint them.

Anybody else?

I thought about making this an automated poll, but those tend to discourage posting. Also I couldn't be arsed, what with being lazy.

JKellyMap
03-27-2010, 09:53 AM
Wife. IMHO, this comes close to defining what a marriage is fundamentally about: the one person who knows your faults and errors better than anyone is still the one person whose standards they set for you, you try, every day, to live up to (and frequently fail to).

koeeoaddi
03-27-2010, 11:04 AM
Mr. Ko.

silenus
03-27-2010, 11:10 AM
Wife, then students, then fellow coaches.

figure9
03-27-2010, 11:45 AM
I am still trying to be like my father because I respected his opinions on a whole lot of things.

elbows
03-27-2010, 12:09 PM
Spouse, daughter, sister in law, friends.

I think it's always about the people whom you respect the most.

TreacherousCretin
03-27-2010, 12:31 PM
My wife of 40 years, my Best Friend, my Reason for Living. All the same person.


Apologies for going all ickysweet, but it's the truth.



.

Kyla
03-27-2010, 12:42 PM
My dad's.

I spent years thinking I could never live up to my dad's hopes for me. To be honest, he's not a terribly successful guy, financially-speaking, but he clearly wanted me to do better than he did. After I graduated from college, I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I moved back home and spent a couple of whiny, angst-filled years working shitty jobs and mooning about how I didn't have a path in life. He was really disappointed in me and would occasionally try to have heart-to-heart talks about how I had a college degree and did I really want to spend the rest of my life working in a bookstore?

Now I'm finishing up my masters degree and it is ridiculous how pleased he is. I actually don't know how to handle it, it's such a new and weird experience.

If I have to move back to my parents' house in a few months because I can't find a job, he may change his opinion again.

P.S. Anyone looking to hire a foreign affairs policy analyst?

Johnny L.A.
03-27-2010, 12:53 PM
It used to be my dad's; then my mom's. But they're both dead. I value my friends, and appreciate that they appreciate me. I like that my boss thinks highly of me. I'm good at what I do, and it's fulfilling to me when I can solve a problem.

When it comes right down to it, it's my own opinion I value most. There are people who like me, and people who don't. I comport myself in such a manner as to get along with the former, and I don't give a rodent's rectum about the latter. In the end, I have to live with myself.

fubbleskag
03-27-2010, 01:12 PM
Wife. IMHO, this comes close to defining what a marriage is fundamentally about: the one person who knows your faults and errors better than anyone is still the one person whose standards they set for you, you try, every day, to live up to (and frequently fail to).

Quoted for truth. Past my wife, perhaps my father followed by the rest of my family (including the dreaded in-laws, with whom I'm quite close to and fond of - go figure).

Lust4Life
03-27-2010, 03:57 PM
My mates/ex colleigues.
My first wife when we were married.

Attack from the 3rd dimension
03-27-2010, 04:04 PM
Skald's

Attack from the 3rd dimension
03-27-2010, 04:05 PM
Sorry, what was the question?

silenus
03-27-2010, 04:23 PM
Bets on how long before some some kiss-ass with low self-esteem says "You people?" :D

Anaamika
03-27-2010, 04:37 PM
My own.

There's plenty of people I love and whose opinions I value but dammit, I have to look myself in the mirror every day and I want to be able to continue doing that.

dangermom
03-27-2010, 04:55 PM
Bets on how long before some some kiss-ass with low self-esteem says "You people?" :D

Ooh! Ooh! Me me me!


...nah, never mind.

Skald the Rhymer
03-27-2010, 05:04 PM
My own.

There's plenty of people I love and whose opinions I value but dammit, I have to look myself in the mirror every day and I want to be able to continue doing that.

That's because you're sane, dear.

It's my own fault for not specifying "other than yourself," though.

Not a Platypus
03-27-2010, 05:38 PM
My boyfriend. He's the only person I see every day and he knows me better than anyone else does. It's hard to value the opinion of someone that doesn't really know you.

Making sure I'm someone he can be proud of helps keep me from doing stupid, lazy things that'd lower my opinion of myself, too.

kathmandu
03-27-2010, 06:44 PM
My husband's. Because he's a genuinely good person whose opinion I respect, and because my life would probably be a bit difficult if my husband didn't approve of me. ;)

After my husband, my sister. She's my best friend, and a person I know will always be there for me, no matter what.

Attack from the 3rd dimension
03-27-2010, 07:23 PM
In all seriousness:
1) Ms. Attack
2) A distant relative of mine, who also posts on these boards, and his siblings.
3) A friend of mine who has a very different world-view, but a very accurate moral compass (is 'accurate' the word I want? It fits the compass metaphor, but otherwise isn't very satisfying. Oriented? Oriental?).




Don't worry Skald, post #12 was a joke, I don't make decisions based on the opinion of a guy in a secret lair. Well, except for the distant relative and one of the siblings, whom I believe are working on secret lairs.

liberty3701
03-27-2010, 08:55 PM
My husband's, of course.

My mom's, again of course.

My dissertation advisor's, for obvious reasons.

sunstone
03-27-2010, 09:50 PM
First, wife, then my (adult) kids, relatives and finally friends.

JoelUpchurch
03-27-2010, 10:27 PM
Myself, of course and I'm not being facetious. Self-Respect means doing the right thing even when no one else is watching. Once you say that someone else's opinion of you is more important than your own opinion of yourself, then you say that the most important thing is not getting caught.

The question is: Will you do something you know is wrong even if people whose good opinion you value don't think it is wrong or will never find out?

If you don't have the respect of the person you see in the mirror, then the respect of others is worthless.

Maybe the question should be: Whose good opinion do you value the most after your own?

Rala
03-28-2010, 01:38 AM
My mother, grandfather and uncle.

Dereknocue67
03-28-2010, 07:41 AM
My dog seems to occasionally respect me.

panache45
03-28-2010, 09:48 AM
My partner. No one else's opinion matters much.

enipla
03-28-2010, 11:04 AM
Also my Wife. On some stuff, she is just spot on.

Soul Brother Number Two
03-28-2010, 01:51 PM
The guy I currently work for has been a real mentor for me in this latest career change (AOD counselor), so him.

My lovely wife's opinion of me has stayed unrealistically high throughout our 19 years together, so I don't think about it too much.

Chefguy
03-28-2010, 04:20 PM
My spouse has the only opinions of me that matter to me. If I think I've said something that lessens me in her eyes, I feel physically ill. Happily, that's a rare occurrence, as she thinks I'm wondrous. Poor, deluded woman. . .

miamouse
03-28-2010, 06:48 PM
My children. Their dad has been more of an example of what not to do, so that leaves me very little room to make any errors.

Sigmagirl
03-29-2010, 09:37 AM
1. My husband.
2. My dogs.
3. My father-in-law.
4. My editor.
5. My mother-in-law.

Anaamika
03-29-2010, 12:11 PM
That's because you're sane, dear.

It's my own fault for not specifying "other than yourself," though.

Thanks. Still mine, before anyone's, but I'll add my SO to the mix.

Perciful
03-29-2010, 12:23 PM
My dog seems to occasionally respect me.

:D My thoughts exactly!

Mr. Excellent
03-29-2010, 12:27 PM
Mine, of course - but beyond that, my sister's. For some reason, she thinks well of me, and I would prefer that she continue to do so.

phouka
03-29-2010, 10:02 PM
It varies. In different aspects of my life, different people's opinions matter. Overall, though, my younger brother's opinion is extremely important. He is intelligent, capable, responsible, ethical, and supremely reasonable. I know there are areas in my life (finances, anyone?) where he, at best, feels pity for me. There are other areas where I am the person he confers with, and that is deeply flattering.

My mom is another person who is amazingly capable. She has more work ethic in her pinkie than I do in my entire body. I know I don't live up to her expectations as far as my weight, my health, or my career, but I am so built up when she mentions something about me that she admires.

Generally speaking, the people I respect are the ones whose opinions matter. It can even be a person I don't particularly like, as I don't expect to like everyone in existence, and there are some abilities and qualities that exist independent of personality type.