Lisa Nicole Carson, your tits are freaking me out

[Stoid]

I don't know how many folks are Ally watchers, but this season, Lisa Nicole Carson has elected to start packing her prodigious rack into PUSHUP bras, and it is extremely distracting - so much so it's kinda creepin' me out. She looks freaky and strange. I'm not complaining about her tits themselves, (which I believe are really hers, as opposex to enhanced) but the way she is displaying them. They do not look in any way natural or even comfortable. They appear to have been piled upon a shelf placed as high on her rib cage as is physically possible, and ever time she's on screen, my toes curl and I can't tear my eyes away.

Someone tell this woman to wear something that looks a little more natural, please. She's freakin' me out!

stoid

[Alphagene]

As far as I'm concerned, she can do whatever the hell she wants.

She's one of the few regulars on a network TV show who has above a freakin' B-cup. I swear it's just her and Just Shoot Me's Laura San Giacomo.

[Stoid]

Well, that's the other end of the scale... David E. Kelly seems to have a thing for extremes, since the other women on that show are all breast-free. Especially Flockhart and Di Rossi...both of whom are freakishly flat-chested (and almost certainly wouldn't be if they weren't also painfully skinny.) But hey, like I said, i don't hate her tits, I just wish she'd show them off more attractively and naturally. They look weird...and any scene she's in I miss completely because I'm so riveted by her breasts in that car-crash kinda way.

[omni-not]

IIRC, Lisa Nicole Carson has never been particularly shy in that respect. Must say I've never been a big fan of push up bras: bit too ostentatious for me. One of the reasons why Anna Nicole Smith makes me puke.

What is it with 'double-monikered' Nicoles anyway?:D

[katie1341]

Hubby and I were watching Ally the other night and when Lisa Nichole Carson, ahem, took over the tube, he said that her breasts looked like udders. I agree that LNC is a little over the top this season, but then again I have to like the fact that she's not a bulimic little waif and still has the guts to wear tight clothes.

[Alphagene]

See, now I also cut Anna-Nicole a break too. Well, before that whole decomposing Teaxs billionaire thing happened, anyway. She was another woman with large breasts in an industry where the women are pipe cleaners.

You'd think that men actually found breasts repulsive. Don't executives know their markets better than that?

Russ Meyer was so ahead of his time...

[CrankyAsAnOldMan]

It is rare that a thread title makes me laugh out loud in instant amusement, fellow-feeling, and recognition, but this one did.

She's got a fairly normal sized body but fantabulously huge assets up front there. Whenever People magazine--er, I mean, the Utne Reader and Harpers... feature her I always do a double-take. She's never hid those babies. Not on ER, either.

[omni-not]

Russ Meyer was so ahead of his time...

Now THAT was Art...

[El_Kabong]

Funny, I was just mentioning to my sister that Carson was one of the few people for whom the term 'bazooms' seemed entirely appropriate...

[Alessan]

Originally posted by Rocket88
Funny, I was just mentioning to my sister that Carson was one of the few people for whom the term 'bazooms' seemed entirely appropriate...

Perhaps even 'gazongas'.

[Stoid]

but folks... it isn't just the size... there are bigger tits in the world. It's the damn bras that shove the bazooms up under her chin. They look bizarre. And very uncomfortable, too.

The damn things just gimme the heeby-jeebys.

[matt_mcl]

"Female models have continued into the 1990s swallowing cotton balls soaked in olive oil to reduce their hunger, although in the late eighties their lives were complicated by the return of breasts into fashion. Many of the girls felt obliged to have implant operations. The result has been a striking contrast between melonlike protuberances which stick out unnaturally from whippetlike ribcages. Ever sensitive to the larger meaning of conflicting social trends, designers have, in effect, invented motherly anorexia. Camera images are kinder to geometry than they are to the natural line and so this fashion has been a great success." - John Ralston Saul, The Doubter's Companion

[kabbes]

Any chance of a link? The mental picture I now have is somewhat disturbing.

P

[Zulema]

I too noticed her bizarre breast height last week. They are definitely getting more pushed up every week, pretty soon she will be peeking out from between them to deliver her lines.

[kellibelli]

*picturing her peeking out from between the breasts*

I was just talking about this same thing Monday past. How, oh HOW does she get them up so high????

I uset to work at a lingere store for big women/big boobs, and push up bras dont usually come any bigger than a c-cup (of course there are exceptions), but whatever she is wearing is not a normal push up bra.

With boobs that big, the shoulder straps are gonna do ALL the work, underwire wont give that kind of support, meaning that she must have an extremely tight band around the back to keep it from riding up, and the shoulder straps must be digging into bone!! AND - here is what I dont get: big boobs like that, with a tightly shoulder strapped bra - go flatter.

Picture a bra, on a woman... when you tighten the shoulder strap, sure they ride a little higher, but there is less room for the boob to ...um...thrust.

Not only does she have enormous boobs, but she has un-natural height in her bra, and still has tremendous thrust.
HOW does she do it?


I think she should go for a more normal look, she looks like a freak, and I think as the only normal sized woman on that show, she should try to look like a normal woman.

Who would wear a contraption like that to work??

And as a lawyer no less!!

They addressed Ally's ridiculously short skirts on the show, maybe this will come up (so to speak) in a future episode.

[magdalene]

Not only does she have enormous boobs, but she has un-natural height in her bra, and still has tremendous thrust.
HOW does she do it?

Flying buttresses?

::d&r::

[Alphagene]

Originally posted by matt_mcl
"Female models have continued into the 1990s swallowing cotton balls soaked in olive oil to reduce their hunger, although in the late eighties their lives were complicated by the return of breasts into fashion.
Then how come aside from Anna-Nicole and possibly Tyra Banks, I can't name a single mainstream model who was alive during my lifetime who had significant boobage.

Anyone?

[Clucky]

For those of us not as familiar with the subject:

http://celeb13.tripod.com/galleries/lisanicolecarson/lisanicolecarson1.htm

[kabbes]

Good Lord - the woman's huge.

However, unless I am very much mistaken none of those shots featured the incredible levitating boobies referred to by Stoid in the OP.

This phenomenon is what I was rather hoping to get an actual image of, since the mental picture is currently that of a woman peeking out through the middle of her own cleavage.

Thankyou

pan

[Dogzilla]

Even though LNC's freakish breasts do wig me out too... I just can't figure out why she would WANT them that high. What really bothers me is Portia di Rossi. Has anyone else noticed that her head is too big for her body? She reminds me of Mr. Garrison on South Park. I'm afraid her head is going to pop one day and spew gooey stuff all over my TV!

Then I usually come down and shuffle off to bed.

[JeffB]

Originally posted by Alphagene
She [Anna-Nicole Smith] was another woman with large breasts in an industry where the women are pipe cleaners.

Then how come aside from Anna-Nicole and possibly Tyra Banks, I can't name a single mainstream model who was alive during my lifetime who had significant boobage.

Anyone?

Cheryl Tiegs: I seem to recall from the famous SI fishnet picture that she was fairly well endowed (of course, not Anna-Nicole well endowed). How about Cindy Crawford? Again, not competing with Anna Nicole, but certainly not a "pipe cleaner".

And exactly what "industry" are you referring to for ANS? To the best of my knowledge, she was a centerfold (Playboy? Penthouse?) -- not a field exactly known for small-breasted women.

[BickByro]

cindy crawford is a b-cup...

[Alphagene]

No, Cheryl and Cindy don't have large breasts, they just have breasts. Whoop de doo. It's sad they they stand out as the "bigger models".

And ANS wan't just in skin mags. Before she posed for Playboy she rose to fame being a model for Guess Jeans. So it is fair to say that mainstream modeling was her industry at one point.

[UncaStuart]

The simple answer is that LNC is attempting to reintroduce the Jessica Rabbit look. No longer being a prosecutor, she is free of Dress Code Section IV: "Toon-ish attire is not acceptable, in either the courtroom or adjacent bars."

[Stoid]

show off her considerable assets and her beauty (I think she is a very pretty woman with bad hair and bad outfits) but they do not include a photo of her current cranked-up look.

I went to allymcbeal.com and there aren't many photos, none showing the way she's thrusting her tits in our faces these days. There is a snippet of video that hints at it, but I guess to get the full effect you are going to have to tune in. Monday nights at 9pm.

I want a structural engineer to tell us how it's done...anybody know any?

stoid

[omni-not]

I particularly like the photo with her wearing the cowboy hat and the fake giraffe dress. UUUGGGHHH!! Kill me now, why don't you?! That's NOT my idea of a beautiful woman.

[PunditLisa]

LNC has the same problem that Dolly Parton has. She is very buxom AND short-waisted. If you took the same breasts and placed them on someone taller or longer-waisted, I bet they wouldn't be nearly as "freakish."

She seems to like her body, which I can appreciate in a woman. And I also appreciate the fact that neither Calista nor Portia pad their bras in order to conform to the Hollywood standard of beauty.

[Alphagene]

Problem? I don't think Lisa has a problem at all. Although I will agree about Lisa seeming to like her body. But I think that is also a good thing. Confidence in your appearance despite what is on the cover of Cosmo is not only psychologically healthy and a sign of strength, it also has the pleasant side effect of making you more attractive. I'm sure most of us know that, but I'll mention it for the young people out there who might be reading this thread on their way to bitching about their high school teachers. :D

And just out of curiosity, omninot, what is your idea of a beautiful woman? I mean to each his own and all that, but you seem enraged. Which bothers you more, the hat or the breasts?

[omni-not]

Yeah, you're right, Alpha. Bit out of character for me, actually.

And just out of curiosity, omninot, what is your idea of a beautiful woman?

How about:

http://www.generation.net/~vincy/cdeneuve.htm

Or, closer to home, somebody like Sela Ward, for example:

http://variety.studiostore.com/browse/SELAWARD/PHOTO/s.C3w1m0iZ

Which bothers you more, the hat or the breasts?

It's a toss-up. (Don't forget the dress)

[omni-not]

Just so you big breasts fanatics can have a fit:D:

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/7715/070809/BrSJMG059.jpg

[PinkBikini]

JEEEEZ LOUISE!!!!

That LNC woman has one harsh set of humongoid hoo-hoos!!!!

I don't know how she keeps them off of her stomach, much less anywhere near her face. *shudder*

I can't tune in to that show tho. Calista is one of the ugliest humans I have ever seen, on or off television. She nauseates me. How is it that she is so famous and I am so not?

[Althea]

Alpha-

There's a Victoria's Secret model who has been doing a LOT of other work lately that has quite a rack and a little meat on her bones to boot. Unfortunately, I can't remember her name for the life of me. Anybody else know who I mean?

[dougie_monty]

As much as I like to see shapely women--and I have no dobut that such are common among the Teeming Female Millions :) --The sentiments exposed in this thread anger me. I'd like to see the nameless and un-famous designers who cooked up the cokamamie 'whippet torso,' regardless of the size of the bosom, live on the starvation diet they dictate to the models. I'll bet they would whine about persecution! Good Lord, I don't think any normal woman looks like that--or wants to wear clothes designed for a woman who looks like that.

[foolsguinea]

I assume Althea's referring to Laetitia Casta, who is a bit top-heavy.
Or maybe one of the other new crop of models who all look alike to me. I mean Laetitia I can recognise, but the current makeup or something makes all these girls look too much the same. Argh.

Maybe that's why I like Christy Turlington so much. She looks unlike most of the human race. In a cool way.

[PinkBikini]

Originally posted by Althea
There's a Victoria's Secret model who has been doing a LOT of other work lately that has quite a rack and a little meat on her bones to boot. Unfortunately, I can't remember her name for the life of me. Anybody else know who I mean?

Well, a long while ago I used to get the catalog, and that woman Frederique wasn't skeleton skinny. I always thought her face was really weird looking. Stephanie Seymour.. well, her boobs look pretty big. I haven't looked a lot though... but then again it's just one of those miraculous bras, ha ha.

I'm thinking that's what LNC must be wearing... a miraculous bra, with serious anti-gravity devices.

[Cartooniverse]

Originally posted by BickByro
cindy crawford is a b-cup...

There was an auction of Marilyn Monroe memorabilia last year at Christie's in NYC. I shot the Barbara Walter's interviews with the curator of the auction/exhibit. The curator said that Marilyn was a B Cup. I about died.

Cartooniverse

[Stoid]

is not really such a surprise. Look at the nude of her for Playboy...her tits ain't so much. Also, Marilyn gained and lost a fair amount of weight, I believe she ranged between 120 and 160 over the years. At the upper range, her tits were almost certainly bigger.

Marilyn's appeal really was not about having the world's most perfect figure, because she didn't. It was far more complex than that...

stoid

[Nacho4Sara]

As an avid Ally fan, I have noticed that LNC's boobs are seriously fighting gravity. My concern would be the pain caused by a bra that does that. Honestly, I can barely stand to wear a bra for twelve hours straight, and mine are a D, while Lisa must be up there in the E range. Even with comfortable, cotton/underwire style bras, my shoulders ache at the end of the day. And forget about massaging my back; the strip of shoulder wear my bra straps sit is sore all the time.

I'd hazard a guess that LNC is purposely trying to not fit in with the rest of the Ally cast. She's embracing her figure and her breasts; nothing wrong with that. I don't find the half-naked, bra-baring look she seems to favor attractive, but more power to her. I hope she keeps getting jobs in Hollywood. The only thing that pisses me off at all is the fact that everyone criticizes Ally for being so skinny; now we criticize LNC for being too womanly. It's still wrong, and it still harbors negative stereotypes, regardless of the image we are disgusted with.

As for the model thing, I laughed until I cried when I read about Gisele Bundchen, a Brazilian model who apparently "ushered in the new voluptuous female form," in Vogue. Her chest is a B cup, tops. I'm really curious as to whether Vogue editors think we wrap out breasts in Ace bandages when flat-chested is in, or if we just have them removed and added to when fashion dictates? I can't wait for the day when short size 12's with D cups and brown hair are "it." I'll be running naked in the streets.

[Nymysys]

Originally posted by PunditLisa
LNC has the same problem that Dolly Parton has. She is very buxom AND short-waisted. If you took the same breasts and placed them on someone taller or longer-waisted, I bet they wouldn't be nearly as "freakish."

Lordy, lordy, preach ON! I'm a D cup at 5'4" and a size 2. If I tuck in my shirts, I look pregnant. On me, these things look completely out of place and I want to have them taken down several notches. God bless LNC for even finding clothes that can FIT her.

But, to be honest, yeah, they are a little scary. Every time I see her I think, "Lisa's taking the girls out for a walk again."

[omni-not]

? I can't wait for the day when short size 12's with D cups and brown hair are "it." I'll be running naked in the streets.

:eek:

Would you be so kind as to send me an e-mail a few days prior so that I could free up some time? TIA.

[Nacho4Sara]

God bless LNC for even finding clothes that can FIT her.

I'd like to address a special fuck you to the makers of those stretch cotton button-up blouses. I bought three of them in my size, and all of them gape over my chest. The way the buttons are spaced, the top on hits me mid-cleavage and is holding on as tightly as possible for fear of popping off. If I buy them in my size, they are too tight in the chest; the next size up is too loose elsewhere.

Omni-not - you'll be the first to know, I promise. Maybe you could write Vogue and tell them to make gorgeous brunettes with big boobs and normal-sized bods and style du jour, and we'll hasten up the process.

[Falcon]

Hey Nacho?

Right after the "short size 12's with D cups and brown hair" craze, can we have the "tall size 20's with F cups and red hair" craze? Thanks!!!!

- Falcon, who HATES ALL button-up tops. Bleah.