Sick, Sick, Sick Little Chimp

[PapSett]

Just ran across this video of a perverted little chimpanzee. I feel sorry for the frog. :(

Possibly NSFW?

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=50362

[runner pat]

So the frog has a chimp in it's throat

[PapSett]

So the frog has a chimp in it's throat


:D

[WhyNot]

:eek:


Or, maybe that should that be:

:o


Poor frog. I don't suppose there's much chance he survived the experience!

[Machine Elf]

Speaking of sick little chimps:

Many years ago I was visiting a zoo and stopped by the primate house. Just on the other side of the glass there was a chimp (or possible an orang, don't remember for sure). He had a twig on one hand, which he slowly stuck up his ass for a few seconds. Then he'd take it out, chew on it a bit, and then repeat the whole cycle. An elderly woman stood next to me, absolutlely aghast at this spectactle. I swear to god the animal was staring that old lady right in the eyes while he carried out his auto-ass-reaming activities; I'm pretty sure he knew he was freaking her out, and enjoyed that at least as much as the ass-reaming itself.

[tdn]

That is just sick and wrong, and I feel bad for the poor frog. There is absolutely no reason why I should be laughing as hard as I am.

[LurkMeister]

:eek:


Or, maybe that should that be:

:o


Poor frog. I don't suppose there's much chance he survived the experience!

So you think he croaked?

[WhyNot]

So you think he croaked?

:smack:

Well played, sir.

[tdn]

Ribbit for her pleasure.

[Autolycus]

"Hello my baby, hello my darlin', hello my ragtime *murrfff murrrflge aacckkk*"

[tdn]

"Hello my baby, hello my darlin', hello my ragtime *murrfff murrrflge aacckkk*"

That's it. I'm done for the day.

There's a Helen Keller joke that's similar to that.

[CateAyo]

he's gonna get warts

[Johnny L.A.]

he's gonna get warts

Link (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_wart).

Wiki, but nasty photo.

[Claude Remains]

I wonder what this little guy (http://www.figtography.com/Blog/2006/Apr/Faces/CuriousJorge.jpg) would do. That clip is just too funny! And right in front of a bunch of kids! :eek:

[Clothahump]

Puts a whole new twist on the fairy tale concept of kissing a frog, doesn't it?

Would this be considered froglatio?

[Johnny L.A.]

I thought it was 'Someday your PRINCE will come,' not your chimp!

[Claude Remains]

That is one very unhoppy frog.

[Johnny L.A.]

That is one very unhoppy frog.

Really? It looked like it was going up and down!

[faithfool]

You know when they talk about spanking the monkey, I never envisioned it would be a frog doing it.

[Claude Remains]

Poor frog was so ashamed he kermit-ed suicide.

[wolfman]

I wonder if the frog is good at using it's tongue.

[runner pat]

nm, Claude Remains beat me to it.

[outlierrn]

And I will love him, and pet him, and squeeze him, and stroke him, and I will call him George.

[Horatius]

"Hello my baby, hello my darlin', hello my ragtime *murrfff murrrflge aacckkk*"



You win the "Choke on my beer" Award for today!

[Johnny L.A.]

Poor frog was so ashamed he kermit-ed suicide.

Two days later the chimp became ashamed at what he was doing and buried it.

[Freudian Slit]

Where did a chimp in the zoo get access to a frog?!

[Johnny L.A.]

Where did a chimp in the zoo get access to a frog?!

He got it from the leap-ard.

Eh, I got nothin'.

[outlierrn]

Where did a chimp in the zoo get access to a frog?!

Looked to me like he got access through it's oral cavity.

[runner pat]

I hear a porn film is in the works.
















Leap Throat.

[PapSett]

"Hello my baby, hello my darlin', hello my ragtime *murrfff murrrflge aacckkk*"

This made me laugh out loud and choke on a tortilla chip. You win.

[outlierrn]

Forget chokin' the chicken, my new euphemism for masturbation will be drowning a frog.

[tdn]

Two days later the chimp became ashamed at what he was doing and buried it.

No no no. He was forced to marry the frog, then the frog was drowned.

[Malthus]

Question - if a princess kisses a frog, it turns into a prince. What happens in this case?

[Projammer]

he's gonna get wartsBut think of how much he'll save on buying french ticklers.

[velvetjones]

I don't know why but I just can't bring myself to watch the video. I clicked the link but then I couldn't muster the courage to click play. Maybe that's for the best.

[PapSett]

I don't know why but I just can't bring myself to watch the video. I clicked the link but then I couldn't muster the courage to click play. Maybe that's for the best.


Yeah... a big part of me wishes I hadn't watched it either. It's not something that's going to leave me without a few gallons of brain bleach...

[kopek]

Yeah... a big part of me wishes I hadn't watched it either. It's not something that's going to leave me without a few gallons of brain bleach...

Or begin a desire to Google "frogs for sale".

[tdn]

Well it does take toad licking to a whole new level.

[Stoid]

First Runner up:

Ribbit for her pleasure.

And the Winner is:

And I will love him, and pet him, and squeeze him, and stroke him, and I will call him George.

[Stoid]

And it is freakishly smart on the chimp's part.

[hotflungwok]

What a smart chimp, he's learned how to use a tool!

[tdn]

It's not easy being green.

[Jenaroph]

What a smart chimp, he's learned how to use a tool!

...on his tool!

[Slithy Tove]

Where did a chimp in the zoo get access to a frog?!

honolulu.craigslist.org/cgi-bin/personals.cgi?category=C4F

[may_be_ignorant]

"hello my baby, hello my darlin', hello my ragtime *murrfff murrrflge aacckkk*"

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

:D

[Malacandra]

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"

[Johnny L.A.]

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"

'That's not my paw.'

[Debon Err]

So you think he croaked?

Yes, and I believe he was cream-ated. :D

[Colibri]

Well it does take toad licking to a whole new level.

Actually, it's a Giant Toad, and quite poisonous. If the chimp licked his fingers afterward he might have taken a very interesting trip. (Then again, he might also absorb some of the toxins through other mucous membranes ....)

[Larry Mudd]

Don't be so judgemental - we all feel a little ranidae from time to time.

[kopek]

OK - I'm thinking it so I'm going to say it. Anything else out there figure this takes the proof of evolution to a whole new level?
:D

[PapSett]

I'm so proud... this is my most successful thread, ever.

*sniff*

[kopek]

I'm so proud... this is my most successful thread, ever.

*sniff*


It is? Well, blow me down! <sticking out hand> Here - let's shake on it! :D

(My apologies to all. Something in this thread just brings out the "totally silly" in me))

[Cheshire Human]

It is? Well, blow me down!

No, that's the frog's job.

[kferr]

I'm frogerbating like a motherfuck!
...

[tdn]

Actually, it's a Giant Toad, and quite poisonous. If the chimp licked his fingers afterward he might have taken a very interesting trip. (Then again, he might also absorb some of the toxins through other mucous membranes ....)

Well, we wouldn't want that. Or else the chimp might go off and do something a little unusual.

[PapSett]

Originally Posted by Colibri
Actually, it's a Giant Toad, and quite poisonous. If the chimp licked his fingers afterward he might have taken a very interesting trip. (Then again, he might also absorb some of the toxins through other mucous membranes ....)


Personally I hope his little chimpanzee pecker rots and falls off...

[tdn]

Kermit responds. (http://videosift.com/video/Kermits-Reaction-to-Chimp-and-Frog-Video)

[kferr]

I'm looking forward to the sequel, "Two chimps, one Frog".

[Malacandra]

Naughty monkey, deserves a good spanking. :mad:

[Mtgman]

But think of how much he'll save on buying french ticklers.
I see what you did there. Layered humor always gets me.

Enjoy,
Steven

[Malacandra]

Chimpanzee
Find Chimpanzee, compare prices & save money now!
uk.Best-Price.com

Uh, I'll pass right now, thanks...

[aceplace57]

now I know what inspired Michael Jackson's Beat It. ;)

[tr0psn4j]

This thread is all kinds of awesome. :)

[WhyNot]

Kermit responds. (http://videosift.com/video/Kermits-Reaction-to-Chimp-and-Frog-Video)

Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.


So wrong.


*whimper*


Kermy!

[Wile E]

I will never, ever look at Curious George the same ever again.



Yes, I know CG is a monkey, not a chimp.

[MsChilePepper]

Well, they never come right out and *say* George is a chimp, but he has no tail, and he looks like a chimp, ergo, not a monkey.

[outlierrn]

Ya know, I gonna bet this is where all the cow anuses went, too.

[kopek]

Anyone else having mental flashes of the Sad Kermit "Hurt" video where he's whacking off to a picture of Miss Piggy? No? Just me? OK - well just carry on.

[Johnny L.A.]

Well, they never come right out and *say* George is a chimp, but he has no tail, and he looks like a chimp, ergo, not a monkey.

Of course the monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga.

[Tangent]

When Kermit sang about finding a "Rainbow Connection" I don't think this is what he had in mind.

[tr0psn4j]

When Kermit sang about finding a "Rainbow Connection" I don't think this is what he had in mind.

No? :D

I'm actually listening to Sad Kermit singing Hurt, Creep, A Needle In The Hay, and Hallelujah. They're all very good.

[Wile E]

Well, they never come right out and *say* George is a chimp, but he has no tail, and he looks like a chimp, ergo, not a monkey.

Really? I could have sworn he had a tail.

[FinnAgain]

I'm scared that I knew exactly what this thread was just by looking at the title.

[WhyNot]

Really? I could have sworn he had a tail.

Nope (http://www.nucleuslearning.com/content/curious-george-not-monkey).

[Wile E]

Nope (http://www.nucleuslearning.com/content/curious-george-not-monkey).

Well, okay not really a monkey. You realize that's only going to make the Curious George/Sick Chimp association more difficult to ignore. Thanks guys.

[ivan astikov]

Nope (http://www.nucleuslearning.com/content/curious-george-not-monkey).

She has a son called Jakub... how can we trust a word she says?

[Hypno-Toad]

The frog got orally aped.

Miss Piggy is going to be PISSED.

[Lemur866]

Well, okay not really a monkey. You realize that's only going to make the Curious George/Sick Chimp association more difficult to ignore. Thanks guys.

Apes are monkeys. I know, I know, pedants have been claiming that apes aren't monkeys forever. They're wrong, in the same way that people who claim that humans aren't apes are wrong. Humans and chimps are apes. Humans, chimps, baboons, and spider monkeys are monkeys. Humans, chimps, baboons, spider monkeys and lemurs are primates. Apes are a particular branch of the old world monkeys, and baboons are more closely related to chimps and humans than baboons are to spider monkeys. Therefore, if the word "monkey" has any scientific meaning, apes are monkeys.

And Curious George is clearly a chimpanzee, and therefore an ape, and therefore a monkey.

[Wile E]

You know, the only reason I posted my original disclaimer in tiny print was to hopefully head off someone lecturing about monkey vs chimp vs primate vs ape, etc. and ending up with one of those never-ending ignorance fighting hijacks. Obviously, that was a big fail on my part.

Can we get back to poking fun at the chimp/monkey/ape/primate/Curious George and pitying the poor frog/toad/amphibian/Kermit? I'm sure there are plenty more sick jokes to be made.

Thank you. If you need me, I'll just be over there in the corner banging my head on the wall and babbling incoherently.

[tr0psn4j]

A toad style fleshlight? :D

[Hypno-Toad]

Why don't we do it in the toad?

So the chimp likes to get deep toad?

Good thing the chimp is small, otherwise he'd rippit.

[Sunspace]

Anything else out there figure this takes the proof of evolution to a whole new level?
:DUp or down?

[Tangent]

Miss Piggy is going to be PISSED.

And the frog is going to be pissed off. If he doesn't just fall off.

[kopek]

Can we get back to poking fun ------------


Actually to me it looked like that chimp was doing all the poking. Now clear me some wall space - and watch exactly what you are banging next to me. :)


Up or down?

Using the video as a guide, I would say more like sideways. :D

[runner pat]

This frog has been aped by the apeist.

[Indistinguishable]

Apes are monkeys. I know, I know, pedants have been claiming that apes aren't monkeys forever. They're wrong, in the same way that people who claim that humans aren't apes are wrong. Humans and chimps are apes. Humans, chimps, baboons, and spider monkeys are monkeys. Humans, chimps, baboons, spider monkeys and lemurs are primates. Apes are a particular branch of the old world monkeys, and baboons are more closely related to chimps and humans than baboons are to spider monkeys. Therefore, if the word "monkey" has any scientific meaning, apes are monkeys.

And Curious George is clearly a chimpanzee, and therefore an ape, and therefore a monkey.
Right on. Apes aren't Old World monkeys, and they aren't New World monkeys, but it's stubbornly misguided pedantry not to acknowledge that, ultimately, what the cladistics demonstrate are that apes are a third category of monkey, in deference to what common language had been comfortable saying all along.

(Granted, in the same cladistic sense, birds are a particular subcategory of reptiles, and so on, whereupon some might object that there's nothing inherently wrong with using such paraphyletic terms as "(non-bird) reptile", "(non-ape) monkey", and "(non-human) animal". Well, you can all sort it out, but at least so far as biology is concerned, sticking to clades as categories is almost always The Right Thing. At any rate, the situation is much less cut-and-dry than the traditional "apes aren't monkeys" line...)

But, yes. Back to that poor creature getting the shit orally raped out of it... (I somewhat fail to see how this would provide any further pleasure than mere masturbation, but I suppose even chimps sometimes have bizarre bestial fetishes)

[Malacandra]

But, yes. Back to that poor creature getting the shit orally raped out of it... (I somewhat fail to see how this would provide any further pleasure than mere masturbation, but I suppose even chimps sometimes have bizarre bestial fetishes)

Perhaps it doesn't, but I guess that chimp's thoughts ran something like: how will I know unless I try?

[WhyNot]

(I somewhat fail to see how this would provide any further pleasure than mere masturbation, but I suppose even chimps sometimes have bizarre bestial fetishes)

Well, it's moist, at least. Uncle Andy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWzOQTFwRBE) sez banana skins are good for masturbatin' in, so frogs must be up there, as well. Y'know, if you're an adolescent chimp.

Warning: link not safe for work or viewing around children. Or adults, really. ;)

[Claude Remains]

That frog was blowing bubbles. :D

[Hypno-Toad]

And I thought Strokin' the Toad was just an expression.

[kopek]

And I thought Strokin' the Toad was just an expression.


Combining the post with the poster, I now have a new all-time favorite! :D

[Anonymous Coward]

That frog was blowing bubbles. :D

I'm glad that he's moved on. Michael isn't coming back.

[kopek]

I'm glad that he's moved on. Michael isn't coming back.


Good Lord - could you imagine if he still was alive? He would probably swap the Elephant Man's bones and several gold records for that ape.

[Colibri]

Right on. Apes aren't Old World monkeys, and they aren't New World monkeys, but it's stubbornly misguided pedantry not to acknowledge that, ultimately, what the cladistics demonstrate are that apes are a third category of monkey, in deference to what common language had been comfortable saying all along.


Right. Linguistically speaking, "ape" is the older term in English (before the 12th Century), and "monkey" (from about 1530) was regarded as a subcategory of ape. (The Great Apes were unknown to science before the late 1600s, and the existence of the gorilla wasn't confirmed until the mid 1800s.) Eventually in popular usage "monkey" became the generic term for all of the higher non-human primates including the Great Apes, while scientists on the other hand co-opted the term "ape" for the Great Apes alone. So there is really no linguistic justification to restrict the term "monkey" to the non-ape higher primates. Now cladistics has established that there is no scientific reason either: apes are a sub-category of monkey, both in popular usage and scientifically.

[Wile E]

Hey, stop inserting logic into this thread like a chimp penis into a frog's mouth!

[Projammer]

Jeremiah was a bullfrog.
Was a good friend of mine.
I never understood a single word he said.

[Olentzero]

Don't be so judgemental - we all feel a little ranidae from time to time.It is a shame and a travesty of all that is good and righteous about the Straight Dope that this pun has gone completely unacknowledged for three. Whole. Days.

I salute you, sir. Well played indeed.

[Lemur866]

If you need me, I'll just be over there in the corner banging my head on the wall and babbling incoherently.

Pervert.

[Malacandra]

I think that chimp had just sung one too many rugby (http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:Rbq7s6OXZQQJ:nmrufc.co.uk/files/Rugby%2520songbook.doc+bestiality's+great,+mate&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk) songs...

(Search for "toad"... :eek:)

[carnivorousplant]

He got it from the leap-ard.

Eh, I got nothin'.

Shame on you.

Not pun worthy.

:)

[Ghanima]

This frog has been aped by the apeist.

Bravo, sir!

[robardin]

All these comments and not one reference to the prophetically awesome band name of "Toad The Wet Sprocket". People always thought there was no story behind that name other than surrealistic nonsense... But NOW IT CAN BE TOLD!