Strine......any Aussies feeling like a story?

[kambuckta]

It has often been pointed out here on the SDMB that Australians 'talk' a bit funny and that our use of the English language differs markedly from that of other normal speakers of the mother-tongue. So, I thought to give ya's a lesson in Strine.

Yesterdy I went down the street with me' mate, Bazza and his sheila Donna to get some munchies at the souvie shop. It was closed but, so we got back in the ute, shoved the kelpie over the back, and hurled down the backroads to Dave's joint where we knew he was bunging on a barbie (he got Best and Fairest the week before in the local league footy team)....so drinks were on him, you might say! :D

We'd won some snags and chops at the raffle the night before at the RSL, so we were good for tucker. Dave's missus, Shazza, had made some coleslaw and had a couple of tins of beetroot, so our vegetable intake was okie-dokie. Bazza bought a slab of VB at the bottle-o, and Donna had the remains of a box of goon (Fruity Lexia) so that covered the ladies (or so we thought).

We were the first to arrive, so helped Dave get the barbie stoked. The wood supply was a bit dismal, so we headed down the road with the chainsaw to get some old fence posts that had seen better days......we earthed the electric bit first before we chopped the old redgum posts down. Hope the squatter doesn't get too shitty, but hey, we couldn't see any cows or sheep or shit in the paddock so who cares eh?? Fucking Collins/Pitt Street Farmers, don't deserve fences anyway. :D

A few of Dave's footy mates turned up, but they were already tanked so no assistance was to be had from them (except for slogging back a few of our precious beers, bastards). His mum and dad rocked up next, and Missus Dave had a massive pav for desserts, god she's a sweetheart, whilst Mister Dave joined in with the bloke crew to knock back our (rapidly diminishing) ale (bastard). Missus Dave then asked for a glass outta the box, and by GOLLY, she meant a real glass, not one of those pansie, poofter wine glasses.....she polished off a SCHOONER of the Fruity. In one hit. :eek: And then she pointed her glass at the box for a refill. Sheesh.

(....to be continued....)


Now, which of you Aussie locals or ex-pats would like to continue this story........in Aussie Lingo of course.

*It was thanks to a sheep that I came up with this original idea! (Cheers Penultima Thule :D )

[Cicero]

I checked the back shed today. There was a whipper snipper there (rooted) but I found my address book with all the sheilas names. All the ones who a real man would want- I could have screwed a snakes top lip.

Got to run- my pet kangaroo is scratching at the back door.

Better draw stumps.

[kambuckta]

Better draw stumps.

You're a fucken' PIKER mate.....drop in like a blowie, buzz about then nick off again?? Typical. :D

[Cicero]

Watch it Victoria or I'll show you a bit of West Australia. And why aren't you cooking your husbands breakfast?

Give a sheila a computer and she thinks she owns the place.

[kambuckta]

Watch it Victoria or I'll show you a bit of West Australia. And why aren't you cooking your husbands breakfast?

Give a sheila a computer and she thinks she owns the place.

Ahem.....check my current Location Field ya dag! I'm in the Supreme State (or whatever they call it) now, so you Mining State Morons can go jump a billabong for all I care! :D

Oh, and btw, I DO own the place! :p

[Cicero]

NSW- land of poofters and corrupt politicians. I think you used to once play State of Origin until Qld gave you a shafting.

[penultima thule]

I was having a jimmy woodser in the local shanty whilst all this malarkey started up.
Been a goodun too, no wuckers. Haven't chundered or anything

Then this bloody ruckus starts from these mexican blow-ins. St Kilda types, or Fountain Lakes kath & Kimbos more likely. 'Knoath, they still got bloody Yarra water in their bladders and they reckon they can doss-up on the high rent side. Bloody gumsucking malleestumpers. Rough as guts too. Would rip the suede off a desert boot. Was thinking of dipping me bib in but then the bloody mintie chew'n sandgropers come stomping in with their ES boots and its gone all Cedric.

But fair suck of the sauce, this Cicero coot he really knows is onions, wog handle or not. Put the bogans back in their place. Bewdy bonzer.

[6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast]

Strine.....any Aussies feeling like a story?

Yeah, nuh.

[Giles]

... to get some munchies at the souvie shop. ...
I've not come across "souvie" before -- is it short for "souvenir" or "souvlaki"?

[6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast]

Souvlaki.

[Autolycus]

My god it's like a foreign language.

[penultima thule]

So being a cove of sober habits, the next morning I was up at sparrows fart as is me usual. Trundled to the thunderbox, did me three S’s and the domestics. Rolled me swag and clobber up and hung it of the clothes line to give it a bit of air and make sure the joey blakes didn’t move in. Was as hungry as Tyson but boiled the billy and after some googs, bacon & damper was right as rain.

Domestics done I settled back on the verandah with the footie section of the Tele and a cuppa. Cats had touched up the Blues at the G and the Pies got toasted by the Weagles. Bloody ripper, will hang shit on Goodsie all week and Bazza will be in a hump. Serve the mug galah right.

Quiet as Rookwood with Princess Ralph and all the chuckle bunnies in the holiday camper over the road. Judging by all the dead soldiers it was one hell of a shindig.

Round about morning smoko a car with a can of Fosters on the roof pulls up past, blowing the bulldust into me Coolgardie safe. Bastards.

Struth, I sez, what’s the caper. Turns out he was looking for the Mexicans. The bottle-o at the rubbity had been knocked off and a whole heap of frooty flagons gone AWOL. No mate I sez, your going off half sucked. None of my beeswax but they’ve been as good as gold since they’ve rolled in. None of my chooks have gone missing and they sound like they got a few quid. They’ve been tucked up there quiet and all since refreshers yesterday.

Bloody hydraulics, ‘e sez, they’ll half inch anything not nailed down.

This’ll be fun I thought, I should sell tickets

[kambuckta]

Speaking of chooks, I just went down the back to have a gander at my girls, and I swear they're a few stubbies short of a six-pack.

Refilling their water, I tipped the old stuff over the passionfruit vine to give it a drink and the old boilers went troppo. Why on earth would they prefer water mixed with mud and chook-shit over the sweet stuff that comes out of the tank? :confused:

[Spoons]

I'm going to need a few stubbies to get through all this....

Cicero, are you in WA?

[Gleena]

'Strewth, I flew here, but I know meself ya can't have an Aussie story without Lamingtons*.

I got Buckley's of adding much here, what with me being a bloody Seppo n all, but I sure do lurve me Lamingtons. I'm only a Seppo till next week anyway, then I get me 'Straylian citizenship!

I will tell ya a story bout my mate Baz, though, whilst I'm here. He's a bit of a dag, but I let 'im hang about regardless, cause he buys a slab o' stubbies when he comes round the house. He was tellin' me he had a blue with 'is missus, cause he was "getting off at Redfern", if ya know what I mean - and ya will know, if yer a bloody Sydneysider . Barely dropped 'is daks and asked her if she fancied a root before it was all over. His icy pole was a bit melty, is what I mean to say. It was cactus.

So him an his missus had this blue cause she thought it was all a bit suss. Thought he had him a bloody Sheila on the side, but fair dinkum, he didn't. So I said, "Mate, go see the quack, he'll sort you right out. Give you a pill or summit. You'll be right, no worries."

Course, I couldn't just sit on goss that good, so I called me other mate, Ben-o, to earbash him a while and tell him how Baz was in the shit with his missus. Ben-o has a mouth as big as the Simpson desert, and Baz was on to me flapping me gums before too long.

So now I'm in the shit with Baz as much as Baz is with his missus, and I got nobody else to bring free stubbies round for the footie. Baz is a bit of a drongo, though, so I don't miss 'im, just 'is beer.

Half me luck though, Ben-o was roud the other day with some Toohey's and some Lamingtons. That was grouse! "Bonzer," I said, and we watched the footie. Course, it being Origin, we just ended up aggro and pissed as newts. But at least I had me Lamingtons.

Cheers,
Mezza

*In case you can't tell, Lamgintons are Australia's gift to the world. And I have learnt to eat Vegemite. And I will be a citizen of this fair land on the 30th of June. Oi oi oi.

[Sunspace]

I'll give you guys a good mint-and-maple tea from the True North Strong and Free if you can translate this thread into Canadian.

[Gleena]

Also, "cove of sober habits" is new for me and I'm using it.

[Spoons]

I'll give you guys a good mint-and-maple tea from the True North Strong and Free if you can translate this thread into Canadian.Nemmine, we'll get our own Canajun thread going sometime, eh? Mebbe on Saradee, eh, 'cause there's no hockey now. Being as how I'm in the Prairies, I'll bring some Vitamin P; you're in Ontario, but I won't hold that against you if you bring some Creemore. Dahell, tellya what, I'll meet you in T-Bay, and we'll get Muffin, and he can bring some Northern, and we'll get nicely tanked talking about the Centre of the Universe and laughing at it. Hey, HJ, tag up too, and bring some Maudite, eh? Any Bluenosers or Capers or Islanders wanna get in on this?

[kambuckta]

I'm thinking of going on a holiday, but can't quite make my mind up about where to go....this is such a big country and all.

At the moment I'm tossing up between a few options. There's Briagalong, Wollongong, Gooloogong, Howlong, Toolong, Dandenong, Geelong, Croajingalong.....some of them are way out beyond the black stump and I don't want to chew up too much juice getting there.

I'd like a few mod cons for

[Gleena]

I just today got a sticker for my office wall from a mate who's up Newcastle way:

Didjabringyagrogalong

So go there. :)

[Sunspace]

Nemmine, we'll get our own Canajun thread going sometime, eh? Mebbe on Saradee, eh, 'cause there's no hockey now. Being as how I'm in the Prairies, I'll bring some Vitamin P; you're in Ontario, but I won't hold that against you if you bring some Creemore. Dahell, tellya what, I'll meet you in T-Bay, and we'll get Muffin, and he can bring some Northern, and we'll get nicely tanked talking about the Centre of the Universe and laughing at it. Hey, HJ, tag up too, and bring some Maudite, eh? Any Bluenosers or Capers or Islanders wanna get in on this?So I'll hit the Elsie an' th' Beer Store on the way out, eh? I'll take me a coupla days t'get there, what with scrapin' the skeeders off the windshield and all. I'll call when I get to the Soo.

[penultima thule]

Refilling their water, I tipped the old stuff over the passionfruit vine to give it a drink and the old boilers went troppo. Why on earth would they prefer water mixed with mud and chook-shit over the sweet stuff that comes out of the tank? :confused:

Stone the bloody crows, is not female pis-cyco-gology a bloody universal constant? The bloke keeps his shed clean and shiny as a button. All the tools on the masonite and matching the outline. No dirt on the moleskins, no grease on the stubbies and yet the trouble & strife will nag him shitless about tidying up the mess. Must says that somewhere in the CWA manual.

But try and get them to clean-up their own wardrobe filled clobber and caboodle that hasn't been worn since you got hitched and didn't fit even then and up goes the Great Wall of No. For Gawsakes. No, that can't be your mothers favourite crochet bikini, it's got the bloody price tag showing where your grannie bought it. CHUCK THE BLOODY THING OUT OR THE SHED STAYS AS IT IS.

Why wouldn't ya bloody chooks think like you do?

Anyhow, ya tanks probably got a dead possum in it anyway.

[kambuckta]

Missed the edit window :smack:

Anyway, I'm gunna piss off over to Yackandandah over the weegend to hang out with me' mate Wayne. He used to be a truckie, mostly the Melbin to Brissie run, so he knows some good little spots along the way. Wayne's got the Jimmy Dancer now, too many Winnie Blues over the years. But he's still a good bloke for a yarn.

I don't want to rough it tooooo much. Things like a dunny would be nice, and I always like to camp near a creek if I can. Gotta be careful camping in the bush though....this time of year is better for the Joe Blakes of course, but there's still drop bears out there. Little fuckers don't hibernate, do they?

Wayne told me a story once of some mad buggers he ran across in Coonabarabran. Bunch of Pommies in a Kombi who'd pulled off the road and camped under a huge old Manna Gum. He wandered over to warn them about the dangers, but the Poms thought he was taking the piss and all. No matter how much he tried, the crazy bastards wouldn't listen so he told 'em to get fucked and went back to his rig.

Just as he was climbing up into the cabin, he heard a blood-curdling scream from their campsite......even now when he tells that story he can't help pissing himself larfing.

Yeah, I'm gonna miss Wayne when he goes. Who am I gonna bot fags off've then??

[penultima thule]

Moose humpers?
Who invited the moose humpers?

G'worn ..... git, and remain buggered off.

[kambuckta]

G'worn ..... git, and remain buggered off.

:D

[penultima thule]

The great outdoors ... humping ya bluey in the V8 with great big bloodstained roo bars. As HG Nelson would say, how far can you bloody go wrong if you got petrol, bait, ammo & ice? Merkins call it survivor, we call it camping.

[Spoons]

So I'll hit the Elsie an' th' Beer Store on the way out, eh? I'll take me a coupla days t'get there, what with scrapin' the skeeders off the windshield and all. I'll call when I get to the Soo.Gimme a call on my cell, 'cause I gotta go through the Hat and the Peg, and that'll take some time.

[Spoons]

So I'll hit the Elsie....Hell, if you're hitting the Elsie, ya wanna pick me up a forty-pounder of CC? You know what that costs out here? Jay-zus!

[sisu]

Jeez cobbers why are letting the septics in on our secret strine? Before we know it those tea leaves will be using our strine to flog us coal!

Anyways gotta bugger off and strain the potatoes.

[kambuckta]

Jeez cobbers why are letting the septics in on our secret strine? Before we know it those tea leaves will be using our strine to flog us coal!



Pssst, they're not Seppos, they're people from Canadia.....dunno which is worser.

:D

[Cicero]

The worst would be those sheep rooters across the ditch.

[kambuckta]

I just today got a sticker for my office wall from a mate who's up Newcastle way:

Didjabringyagrogalong

So go there. :)

Google-maps only brings up Didjabringabongalong, so still not sure of destinations yet.

:p

[kambuckta]

The worst would be those sheep rooters across the ditch.

Are there any left? I thought they were all here already.

:D

[Polycarp]

Also, "cove of sober habits" is new for me and I'm using it.

It is, however, something of an oxymoron, right? ;)

[penultima thule]

An anachronism anyway.

Eugene Gorman Q.C. 1960.
"Wowser" is a simple, satisfying, succinct, single word which aptly distinguishes the whole race of windy, watery, cantankerous, snuffling Chadbands, Stiggingses, Holy Joes and Scripture spouting sneaks, hypocritical humbugs, and unctous, dirty minded rotters, who spend their time interfering with the healthy instincts and recreations of healthy-minded, honest humanity.

[madrabbitwoman]

I just today got a sticker for my office wall from a mate who's up Newcastle way:

Didjabringyagrogalong

So go there. :)

nah yer don't wanna go there - tight as a fishes arse they are and yer'll end up as dry as a dead dingo's donga

Better come here to the town of ute onna stick where the ute and grog are worshipped every Oct long weekend. You'll get crissed as a picket at the Bundy bar then do circle work and burnouts. Tends to piss down that weekend though so don't forget yer swag and drizabone

[kambuckta]

nah yer don't wanna go there - tight as a fishes arse they are and yer'll end up as dry as a dead dingo's donga

Better come here to the town of ute onna stick where the ute and grog are worshipped every Oct long weekend. You'll get crissed as a picket at the Bundy bar then do circle work and burnouts. Tends to piss down that weekend though so don't forget yer swag and drizabone

Deni?

[sisu]

Deni muster! Jeez grab ya swag, a couple of slabs and for good luck a franger or two!

[Gleena]

nah yer don't wanna go there - tight as a fishes arse they are and yer'll end up as dry as a dead dingo's donga

Better come here to the town of ute onna stick where the ute and grog are worshipped every Oct long weekend. You'll get crissed as a picket at the Bundy bar then do circle work and burnouts. Tends to piss down that weekend though so don't forget yer swag and drizabone

I'm flat out like a lizard drinkin', so doubt I'll get much of anywhere. Plus, it's pissin' down now. Even me dog has his drizabone on.

Yer a Mexican, anyway, right? Dunno bout ute on a stick, sorry, but I'll bow to the grog any time. I'm only a transplanted Yank, don't get me Strine dictionary till next week!

Thanks fer the invite, though. Need to pop round the grog shop tonight, I'm reminded.

Besides, getting maggotted is good, but without Lamingtons, no fun atall.

:)

[Mona Lisa Simpson]

Nemmine, we'll get our own Canajun thread going sometime, eh? Mebbe on Saradee, eh, 'cause there's no hockey now. Being as how I'm in the Prairies, I'll bring some Vitamin P; you're in Ontario, but I won't hold that against you if you bring some Creemore. Dahell, tellya what, I'll meet you in T-Bay, and we'll get Muffin, and he can bring some Northern, and we'll get nicely tanked talking about the Centre of the Universe and laughing at it. Hey, HJ, tag up too, and bring some Maudite, eh? Any Bluenosers or Capers or Islanders wanna get in on this?

A-hem

If yer gonna get a two-four from TBay, its gotta be Crystal, eh?

And, Muffin isn't the only Tbayer here, yanoo.

Jess sayin'. An I will bring Persians, too, but not the kind who speak Farsi. The honkin cinnamon buns (fried) with pink icing that will rot yer teeth, sure as you live.

[SevenOfTeemingMillions]

It has often been pointed out here on the SDMB that Australians 'talk' a bit funny <snip>

Just wanna say that I don't think Australians talk funny. I think it's sexy. :)

[madrabbitwoman]

Deni?

Yeah mate

[kambuckta]

Well, me and The Bloke had a grouse arvo digging weeds down the paddocks....fucken Bathurst Burrs, dunno if you've ever come across them but they are right bastards. Luckily enough though, I got the burning job....we chipped about a hectares worth, then The Bloke did the collecting with the old ute and the trailer whilst I had the fun of setting the big pile on fire....with the aid of a bit of diesel and juice mixed up of course! Big flames ensued, but by golly, it burned the crap outta the Burrs. We've only got another 173 Ha to go now! :D

Brung me right back to the old Guy Fawkes days when the community would get together with all their household shit and set it on fire. Oh, and in those days the bloody Nanny Gummints allowed crackers and all too.

I swear, for all the so-called 'safety' legislation that has been passed over the last forty years or so, we're still more likely to die in an accident. Why the hell can't the PTB allow us to die having some fucking FUN.

Bring back the Penny Bungers I say. :p

[si_blakely]

The worst would be those sheep rooters across the ditch.This from a bunch of wowsers who let the bloody poms beat them at the footie. And speaking of footie (of the round ball variety) there is no bloody Australasia, just a team of no-hopers and part-timers who can hold the world champions to account. Just imagine what we could do if we really decided to play the stupid game seriously. Call us back when you can do better than a draw against Ghana.

And everyone knows that the real sheep-shaggers are the boyos from the valleys. They certainly can't play rugby. ;)

Si

[kambuckta]

This from a bunch of wowsers who let the bloody poms beat them at the footie. And speaking of footie (of the round ball variety) there is no bloody Australasia, just a team of no-hopers and part-timers who can hold the world champions to account. Just imagine what we could do if we really decided to play the stupid game seriously. Call us back when you can do better than a draw against Ghana.


And who the fuck let HIM in....quick boys, we need a bit of biffo to get the Kiwi out. Tell 'im there's free beer AND free lamb down the Commercial Pub tonight.

The lamb is very tender I've heard. :D

[kambuckta]

Oh, and I forgot to mention that me' Blundies are rooted now too. Gotta go into Wang tomorrow and see if the Disposals joint has any in stock.

Not Happy Jan. :(

[penultima thule]

Bathurst Burrs are tiddlers compared to Noogoora Burrs. They're the size of gobstoppers. And remind The Bloke that a fire isn't the end of the saga. You'll need to hit that spot with Round Up in the spring. Plus chip all the seedlings from burrs that dropped off when carrying them to the fire. Only way to kill the bastards is to keep chipping and/or spray them where they growing before they set seed.

[kambuckta]

Bathurst Burrs are tiddlers compared to Noogoora Burrs. They're the size of gobstoppers. And remind The Bloke that a fire isn't the end of the saga. You'll need to hit that spot with Round Up in the spring. Plus chip all the seedlings from burrs that dropped off when carrying them to the fire. Only way to kill the bastards is to keep chipping and/or spray them where they growing before they set seed.

Alas mate, the farm is one of those 'organic' types so no Round Up for them burrs unfortunately. It's a constant battle.....the sheep paddocks are infested with caltrop, there's paddy melons and thistles in the margins, and the poor old cows have the Bathurst Burrs to contend with. Luckily The Bloke finds nothing more satisfying than a days weed-annihilating to get the juices going.

:D

[Cicero]

This sounds like a very bad Bazza McKenzie movie. (No poofters).

I am off to spear the bearded clam before watching a rerun of Flash Nick from Jindivik.

[Cicero]

And some real culture. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs9ma5oHVbE)