I pit thieves

[Anne Neville]

Some pig-fucker managed to withdraw some money from our checking account without our permission.

I hope whatever you buy with the money kills you, slowly and painfully, you reeking glob of human filth. And then I hope I am right and there is reincarnation, and you come back as a lab animal that gets used for some incredibly painful experiment.

FUCK YOU, thief!

[Cat Whisperer]

I can get on board with this pitting. Thieves suck.

The last time that happened to me, I suspect it was someone working for my rental management company who stole the money - who has had access to a signed cheque of yours lately? Actually, a couple of times my bank paid someone else's bills from my account - have you checked into what happened with the transaction?

[Chessic Sense]

Fuck them with a red-hot poker. How much was it? Anything you're going to feel?

[Anne Neville]

Fuck them with a red-hot poker. How much was it? Anything you're going to feel?

It doesn't mean we can't pay our bills this month (fortunately it wasn't our main checking account), but it was over $2000, so yeah.

[Chessic Sense]

It doesn't mean we can't pay our bills this month (fortunately it wasn't our main checking account), but it was over $2000, so yeah.

Fuckin' A.

On the bright side, it's my understanding that banks usually give this money back and take the hit themselves.

[panache45]

I totally agree with the OP, especially after this horrible experience (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=433420) 3 years ago. And the bastard who stole my wallet wasn't even smart enough to use my credit cards; all he wanted was the cash . . . which I would have given him if I had that option.

[Anne Neville]

I totally agree with the OP, especially after this horrible experience (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=433420) 3 years ago. And the bastard who stole my wallet wasn't even smart enough to use my credit cards; all he wanted was the cash . . . which I would have given him if I had that option.

I had my purse stolen in 1999. I still kind of hope whoever did it came to a bad end. Ideally involving some sort of gruesomely fatal sexually transmitted disease received while being gang-raped.

[Patch]

Wednesday morning, someone unscrewed the spray nozzle from my front hose and cut off the end, stealing the male fitting and a few inches of hose and leaving the $15 nozzle behind. :confused:

The cost of a male adapter is $5. The cost of a hose splice clamp, which you need to join the stolen end of the hose to an existing hose, is $5.

Haven't figured out the cost/benefit ratio to this one yet.

[Satchmo]

Wednesday morning, someone unscrewed the spray nozzle from my front hose and cut off the end, stealing the male fitting and a few inches of hose and leaving the $15 nozzle behind. :confused:

The cost of a male adapter is $5. The cost of a hose splice clamp, which you need to join the stolen end of the hose to an existing hose, is $5.

Haven't figured out the cost/benefit ratio to this one yet.

Are you sure about how much hose they took? I've heard of people doing that to get a hose to siphon gas. (would probably need about 3-4 feet.)




ETA Oh yah! Thieves suck!

[YogSosoth]

Someone stole my scientific calculator when I was 12. I will fucking hate that person forever

No, I'm not being sarcastic, I really really hate thieves! :mad: I got a guy suspended because I caught the little shithead trying to break into my locker in high school. I would have drowned him if I could

[Anne Neville]

I really really hate thieves! :mad: I got a guy suspended because I caught the little shithead trying to break into my locker in high school. I would have drowned him if I could

The piece of garbage that stole my purse in 1999 got my driver's license (with my address) and my house key. I was worried at first that they'd come and break into the house. Then I realized that I rented a room from a family that owned two Rottweilers. Any burglar would probably think twice on seeing the Rottweilers in the backyard.

Then I wished the scum would try to break into the house, so I could let the dogs loose on them. (The Rottweilers were pretty friendly- I don't know what they actually would have done)

[SteveG1]

Any burglar would probably think twice on seeing the Rottweilers in the backyard.

Then I wished the scum would try to break into the house, so I could let the dogs loose on them. (The Rottweilers were pretty friendly- I don't know what they actually would have done)
Maybe the piece of shit would have a massive coronary. That works for me.

[Cat Whisperer]

We had some fancy solar lights stolen from beside our house this summer - right up next to the house. They left the spikes to stick them into the ground, though. Thieves suck and they don't make any sense. Senseless thievery.

[Todderbob]

I had 2,000 stolen from a savings account, plus 4,500 (!?!?) in overdraft when I was 16.

That's a lot, considering it was all money I had worked for at the time. I wasn't so much angry, as confused. The first person I talked to at the bank refused to acknowledge that it might be fraud, apparently they were adamant about my purchasing 500+ USD worth of gift certificates from local restaurants, stores, etc.

I spoke to their manager, lodged some sort of complaint or other, and hopefully got the douche nozzle fired. I was more pissed about being told "this won't be reported as fraud," than the fraud itself.

[Dumbguy]

Someone stole my pregnant wife's bike last week. I keep imagining seeing sombody riding it around the neighborhood so I can tackle them.

[BigT]

Guy apparently used my Dad's name and checking account to sign up for a rifle magazine. We never received it, and years later, we owed $300. Seeing as we made only $25,000 a year (long story), and were living hand to mouth, it really hurt us. It's the first in a long line of things that led to my parents' distrust of banks--something they are just now getting over, after my sister hasn't had these same types of problems, despite having an account for a few years.

[Lok]

The Thursday before Memorial Day weekend this year, I tried to use my checkcard to buy some bread at Walmart. It was declined, which seemed strange to me since I had a few hundred dollars in it. When I got home I checked my checking account online and discovered I was overdrawn by $400. Someone had spend almost $700 dollars from my checking account in less than a week, most of the charges coming in the last 2 or 3 days. Of course, I found this out at 4:45 pm and the bank closed at 4:30 pm.

I checked a few of the places the charges had been placed. One was a dating service in the UK. The rest were job hunting websites, resume writing websites, and headhunter agencies. All charged to my check card. My credit cards didn't have anything unusual on them and my credit records look okay. But the local police keep wanting to make it identity theft, instead of credit card theft. All of the stuff that was charged is useless unless the thief's real name and address were used on it, but I have heard nothing from them about actually finding the person responsible. And I really want to press charges against that person. :mad:

[Patch]

Are you sure about how much hose they took? I've heard of people doing that to get a hose to siphon gas. (would probably need about 3-4 feet.)

Reasonably certain, but short of unrolling the whole hose I dunno. If they were just siphoning gas, though, I don't know why they took the male hose fitting as well. :confused:

[Anne Neville]

The motherfucker tried to open a cell phone account in Mr. Neville's name, too. Fuck them with a rusty chainsaw.

[Really Not All That Bright]

I like thieves.

What?

[Fuji]

This thread could get interesting if ivan "B&E" astikov ever shows up...


To the OP: Agreed. Thieves are loathesome pieces of shit.

[Sailboat]

Any burglar would probably think twice on seeing the Rottweilers in the backyard.

Then I wished the scum would try to break into the house, so I could let the dogs loose on them. (The Rottweilers were pretty friendly- I don't know what they actually would have done)

I know someone with two gigantic, friendly Rotties. When I say gigantic, I mean these things are bigger than any Rottweilers I've ever seen; they have paws bigger than my fist and stand at least waist-high on me. I told her "You don't have pets so much as livestock."

They are gregarious and goofy, just wanting to lean on people (and it's quite a lean!) and get attention.

As long as they've seen you accepted into the house by the pack leader, that is. Goofy as they are, these Rottweilers are a guarding breed deep down, and the difference in their approach is like night and day if you're NOT approved by the human pack leader. This lady had a party once...lots of people showed up, and the dogs were just as happy and friendly as they could be as she greeted each arrival. Soon the dogs were getting all sorts of attention.

But a couple of late arrivals decided to sneak around the back and slip in through the kitchen and surprise the residents. They were friends, and among humans, a little surprise appearance would not be unwelcome.

But the Rottweilers had no truck with it. As the latecomers entered the kitchen unannounced and unnoticed amid all the activity, one of the dogs made a terrible noise, reared up, and bit the first trespasser in the face.

Of course it was a terrible misunderstanding. The dogs were not at fault; that's what they've been bred to do. Fortunately the injury wasn't serious -- the dog may have pulled her punch at the last moment, realizing that the humans involved were not approving -- and the injured party didn't blame the dogs or the homeowner.

The point of my story is that some dogs -- especially guarding breeds -- treat welcomed guests and intruders entirely differently. These dogs made a clear distinction between all the people they'd seen allowed in by their human and the strangers that appeared suddenly among them.

Your thief might get just desserts after all, even from friendly dogs.

[villa]

OK, I shouldn't have left my jacket unattended in the bar when I was chatting to someone on the other side. But I left it with a whole bunch o'work folks, and situations conspired to keep me away a little longer, and they left. So thanks Mr. Thief for pinching my Blackberry, and making me fill out all sorts of awkward work forms explaining why I was at a bar at 2 am on the night of a training course.

[chorpler]

This thread could get interesting if ivan "B&E" astikov ever shows up...

Wait, what?

[Anne Neville]

The bank is giving us our money back. Now all we have to deal with is anything we find on the credit reports...

[E-Sabbath]

Ivan's banned, but he cheerfully admits he was a repeated house robber. Only stopped when, what was it, he accidentally robbed a mob guy's house? Something like that.

He feels it was a perfectly legitimate occupation and really not something to be bothered about. If he could steal your stuff, it was your fault for not having a better security system.

[The Devil's Grandmother]

Ivan's banned? That's cheery news on a cold day. off to ATMB

[chorpler]

Ivan's banned, but he cheerfully admits he was a repeated house robber. Only stopped when, what was it, he accidentally robbed a mob guy's house? Something like that.

He feels it was a perfectly legitimate occupation and really not something to be bothered about. If he could steal your stuff, it was your fault for not having a better security system.

I figured it must be something like that, but does anybody have a link to where he admitted this?

[chorpler]

But the Rottweilers had no truck with it. As the latecomers entered the kitchen unannounced and unnoticed amid all the activity, one of the dogs made a terrible noise, reared up, and bit the first trespasser in the face.

Of course it was a terrible misunderstanding. The dogs were not at fault; that's what they've been bred to do. Fortunately the injury wasn't serious -- the dog may have pulled her punch at the last moment, realizing that the humans involved were not approving -- and the injured party didn't blame the dogs or the homeowner.

WOW. And these were dogs who had never actually been trained as guard dogs? I'm amazed that they can keep track of who is "approved of" by the "pack leader" like that.

If the dog bite had been reported, would the authorities require the biting dog to be put to sleep in a case like this? I know I've heard that dogs who bite are required to be put to sleep, but surely that's not the case for dogs who bite intruders, right? Even if the intruders are just the fake partygoing joker type of intruder?

[Jeep's Phoenix]

This pales in comparison to the OP and others, but I've had two more mechanical pencils stolen from my desk. These were hidden in a drawer under a roll of paper. They weren't anything special -- Pentel Techniclicks -- but they were nice pencils. The thief saw fit to leave two worn-looking pencils and a broken pencil; he/she even set them back neatly in a row. Nice. :mad:

The kicker to this: right next to the pencils was a set of headphones, left undisturbed. Also, on the desk, I have two calculators; one is a graphing model, the other is a high-end scientific. So why in the hell does someone keep stealing my pencils?

[Valgard]

Yesterday someone smashed the window of my g/f's car in broad daylight on a busy street and took off with her purse (which contained nothing but her cellphone and some random stuff of no value - spare socks, etc). If they'd opened the glove box they would have had her wallet.

I'm ticked at her for leaving anything that *looks* attractive to a thief in plain sight since there's been a rash of such robberies around here lately and she knew it.

I'm boiling mad at the asshats who smashed out the window. Her 6 year old son was completely freaked out about the whole thing. I spent an hour with the ShopVac cleaning bits of broken glass up, she had to cancel her phone, deal with glass replacement, leave her car parked outside overnight with no window, etc. $165 to replace the window. Police report filed.

So fuck you, you punkass little petty criminal(s). If you ever do that when I'm around I will catch you and make you clean up the mess with your tongue.

[DanBlather]

I'm all for locking thieves away for good, seriously. Taking someone else's stuff show you have absolutely know regard for society. Fuck you, rot in jail, and make the next person think twice. Think about how much money we could save if we didn't constantly need to worry about people stealing stuff.

[markdash]

If you're going to steal shit, at least steal something that's insured, for fuck's sake.

I've been robbed at gunpoint AND had my apartment broken into and ransacked in the span of 1.5 years.