Malware purveyors need a bullet to the fucking head.

[VarlosZ]

Now, I'm opposed to the death penalty, as I don't think the state should be killing people in cold blood — it's just wrong and impractical for a whole host of reasons. That said, if some enterprising vigilante decided to aerosolize the brains of people who create and distribute malware, I wouldn't exactly be bothered, you know?

Sorry, short rant, but I'm typing this on my iPhone.

[Boyo Jim]

Someday, some kind of hack will destroy some critical information at a critical time and get a bunch of people killed. Or some extremely rich bastard will lose billions of dollars and call his Senator. Or maybe a cute little white girl will get killed by a black malware programmer.

Otherwise no one will seriously go after these programmers.

[VarlosZ]

Thankfully, a simple system restore seems to have solved the problem. There's apparently a more involved fix for this particular bug that doesn't involve a restore, but I just didn't feel up to going through a dozen steps tonight.

[BrainGlutton]

Can we also take out those guys in Nigeria and the off-brand Viagra people?

[GHO57]

Don't worry. Once I take over the world, they're history... or geography. Now, does anyone know where I could hire an all conquering army on the cheap?

[Euphonious Polemic]

That's it! We don't have to kill or beat the malware creators or the spammers!


We can just perform a system restore on them. Return their brains to their original factory defaults!

[The Devil's Grandmother]

Now, I'm opposed to the death penalty, as I don't think the state should be killing people in cold blood — it's just wrong and impractical for a whole host of reasons. That said, if some enterprising vigilante decided to aerosolize the brains of people who create and distribute malware, I wouldn't exactly be bothered, you know?
Me too, and me too.
I've been struggling with some fucking buy this antivirus now!!! infection and I'd have no problem kicking the person who built it in the head over and over again.

[Chessic Sense]

Too easy. Yawn. I liked it better when we had a Pit cop.

[HookerChemical]

Now, I'm opposed to the death penalty, as I don't think the state should be killing people in cold blood — it's just wrong and impractical for a whole host of reasons. That said, if some enterprising vigilante decided to aerosolize the brains of people who create and distribute malware, I wouldn't exactly be bothered, you know?
Me too, and me too.
I've been struggling with some fucking buy this antivirus now!!! infection and I'd have no problem kicking the person who built it in the head over and over again.

Have you tried MalwareBytes? That worked on my wife's computer, but the antivirus (Avira - free) prevented it from establishing deep roots in the system. I assume you're dealing with Desktop Security 2010, or something in its family.

And a bullet to the head would be too quick for those people. May I suggest a viral infection?

[BrainGlutton]

Don't worry. Once I take over the world, they're history... or geography. Now, does anyone know where I could hire an all conquering army on the cheap?

Maybe you can find something at VillainSource. (http://www.villainsource.com/votm.html)

[Boyo Jim]

Can we also take out those guys in Nigeria and the off-brand Viagra people?

The Viagra people will be hard to put down.

[E-Sabbath]

Me too, and me too.
I've been struggling with some fucking buy this antivirus now!!! infection and I'd have no problem kicking the person who built it in the head over and over again.

It hides in your System Restore. Turn it off (right click on my computer, properties, system restore, turn it off) and then run Malware Bytes and Spybot Search and Destroy.

[Ludovic]

Can we also take out those guys in Nigeria and the off-brand Viagra people?

The Viagra people will be hard to put down.Why does this topic keep coming up?

[Gukumatz]

Don't worry. Once I take over the world, they're history... or geography. Now, does anyone know where I could hire an all conquering army on the cheap?

Dear SIr,

i am contacting you because you hav expressed an desire to conquer the world. L0OK NØ FURTHÆR!

*garbled screams in the background*

[PunditLisa]

Why does this topic keep coming up?

I don't know. But if it doesn't die down in 3 or 4 hours, I'm calling my doctor.

[Yeticus Rex]

Why does this topic keep coming up?

I don't know. But if it doesn't die down in 3 or 4 hours, I'm calling my doctor.

I don't envy you.....that's a hard call to make.

[BrainGlutton]

I don't know. But if it doesn't die down in 3 or 4 hours, I'm calling my doctor.

I don't envy you.....that's a hard call to make.

If only there were some way to stiffen your resolve . . .

[Ludovic]

It's about time the jokes went in a new direction.

[BrainGlutton]

It's about time the jokes went in a new direction.

You're no pun any more.

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

Can we also take out those guys in Nigeria and the off-brand Viagra people?

The Viagra people will be hard to put down.

Its OK...they can keep their permanent erections as long as they are dead.

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

The malware people should get a bullet to the head. The Viagra people should get a bullet to the, well...

[BigT]

The Viagra people will be hard to put down.

Its OK...they can keep their permanent erections as long as they are dead.

All you've got to do is keep them active for four hours in a row,..

[Grumman]

Don't worry. Once I take over the world, they're history... or geography. Now, does anyone know where I could hire an all conquering army on the cheap?
Tell them you're going after the spammers and they'll probably work for free.

[congodwarf]

I got hit with malware last week. Luckily the boyfriend is computer literate and patient enough to deal with it for me.

I agree that malware creators deserve a bullet to the head.


Can we add a special punishment for the douchebags who insist that the problem would be easily solved by buying a Mac?

Let's see. I can either spend a day without my computer while my boyfriend fixes it for me (I am computer literate enough but nowhere near patient enough to do it myself). OR, I can spend over $2000 on a brand new computer.

Gee. I wonder what my choice will be. :rolleyes:

[Polycarp]

The Viagra people will be hard to put down.

Its OK...they can keep their permanent erections as long as they are dead.

Well, if you guys are tired of fake V1agra ads, you could always go see Alice!

;)

[Ferret Herder]

Can we add a special punishment for the douchebags who insist that the problem would be easily solved by buying a Mac?
Another problem with that "suggestion" is that the person doesn't actually mean it. It's not so much that they know that you're not going to drop cash on a whole new computer with a new operating system.

No, the real problem is that if enough people [d]did[/b] take that suggestion, malware makers would target the Mac. Soon enough they'd be the ones to have to deal with frequent AV definition updates, having to change out their anti-trojan program(s) every couple of years because the jerks who make malware have managed to get around a lot of the old programs' defenses (even with updates), and so on.

[Steve MB]

Now, now, now; shooting malware purveyors is hardly an optimal solution. There are better options, which also have other beneficial side effects (e.g. the first idea that came to my mind would reduce the need for animal testing; the second one would provide valuable data on the long-term effects of zero gravity on the human body; etc).

[Ferret Herder]

Now, now, now; shooting malware purveyors is hardly an optimal solution. There are better options, which also have other beneficial side effects (e.g. the first idea that came to my mind would reduce the need for animal testing; the second one would provide valuable data on the long-term effects of zero gravity on the human body; etc).
As a bunny-hugging (literally!) vegetarian, I just want to say that I find your ideas intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Duckster]

Ya know, I was pretty dutiful in keeping my home machine up to date with several malware detection programs and antivirus programs. Ran them regularly and they always found a few bits and pieces.

Well, I stopped doing that with a new computer several months back. Didn't change my internet habits either. This past weekend I installed the latest versions of my tried and true malware and antivirus programs and let then grind away. The result? Other than a few nefarious cookies my machine was clean as a whistle. Now I'm not saying that would work for everyone but for the life of me I don't find the number of potential infections on the rise as they used to be in years past. Or perhaps I'm not the fan type with the gossipy social media let it all hang out places.

At work I have a mandatory antivirus/malware software that kicks in automatically every Friday. Can't be disabled or shut down. It grinds away for four freakin' hours, slowing my machine down to almost nothing. Yet it never finds a thing. Granted, we have firewalls up the wazoo at work so I wouldn't expect much to get past the stooges safeguards.

[Ferret Herder]

Yeah, but when you do get nailed, it sucks.

A friend of mine got hit by an Adobe Reader/Flash exploit, got a trojan that picked up his World of Warcraft account info (http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?sid=1&topicId=25170612979) and the account was stolen and used for "gold farming."

Years ago when I was in grad school, we got some software for one of our classes. Apparently it got infected at the plant, somehow.

Even digital picture frames (http://articles.sfgate.com/2008-02-15/business/17139861_1_trojan-horse-computer-associates-security-vendor) have been found with trojans pre-installed.

And yes, even with my antivirus and anti-malware software, I rarely see alerts. But then again, I'd rather deal with that than a rare, other problem that could be a hell of a headache to deal with.

[Damuri Ajashi]

Now, I'm opposed to the death penalty, as I don't think the state should be killing people in cold blood — it's just wrong and impractical for a whole host of reasons. That said, if some enterprising vigilante decided to aerosolize the brains of people who create and distribute malware, I wouldn't exactly be bothered, you know?
Me too, and me too.
I've been struggling with some fucking buy this antivirus now!!! infection and I'd have no problem kicking the person who built it in the head over and over again.

I have a special credit card with a $500 limit that I use for internet purchases. I used it to buy the anti-virus once and not only did it not cure my malware, they maxxed out may card in about 10 seconds (I have text notification of all credit card purchases and it must have been automated because I got 7 or 8 charges on my card in about 10 seconds).

I don't think that the death penalty is a deterrent for murderers but I am pretty sure that it would be a deterrent for white collar crime and hacking (and jaywalking).

[Amblydoper]

No, the real problem is that if enough people [d]did[/b] take that suggestion, malware makers would target the Mac. Soon enough they'd be the ones to have to deal with frequent AV definition updates, having to change out their anti-trojan program(s) every couple of years because the jerks who make malware have managed to get around a lot of the old programs' defenses (even with updates), and so on.
I don't buy that argument. There are millions OSX computers connected to the internet. If OSX was just as vulnerable to attacks as windows, then there should be a similar percentage of affected computers running both systems. Since there isn't, either the malware developers are passing up a golden opportunity, or OSX really is safer.

Think about it this way: Why would you rob a bank with armed security guards, when you could just hold up a convenience store that probably only has one surveillance camera? Because the security guards are asleep on the job. And the store clerk has a shotgun.

[Fear Itself]

I don't buy that argument. There are millions OSX computers connected to the internet. If OSX was just as vulnerable to attacks as windows, then there should be a similar percentage of affected computers running both systems. Since there isn't, either the malware developers are passing up a golden opportunity, or OSX really is safer.Or spyware-coders are able to do math. Creating a new infection these days is not easy, and requires no small investment of time and technical expertise to accomplish. If they are going to make that kind of investment, why would they target an operating system with only 5% of the market? (http://arstechnica.com/microsoft/news/2010/01/windows-7-growing-faster-than-vista-overtakes-mac-os.ars) If you want to steal money, you go where they keep it. Nobody writes spyware for Macs because there is no money in it, relative to the investment and the opportunity presented by the Windows market share.

[Johnny Angel]

Computer software is, in fact, devilishly complicated stuff and it's kind of a fantasy that one platform or another is just intrinsically safer from errors that will allow buffer-overflow, executable input, cookie capture or other sensitive data disclosure. Mac isn't any less vulnerable than anything else, except that the margins for hacking PCs are higher because of market share.

Any time you see your computer stick or hang for no particular reason, or your media player crashes while dealing with what should be a perfectly good file, there's an error in there. And all computers do this, and with such frequency that we may not even remember how often it happens. That doesn't mean the error is maliciously exploitable, but there are people who know how to find out, and they do find out to the tune of sometimes a dozen newly discovered vulnerabilities a day -- and that's just what we know from the security professionals who do the research to make computers safer. People who do it to get your credit card numbers don't put out advisories.

[smiling bandit]

Any time you see your computer stick or hang for no particular reason, or your media player crashes while dealing with what should be a perfectly good file, there's an error in there.

Even worse - there may be no error at all in the code, or the computer. All it takes is for a slight discrepancy between code modules or programs than interact! You programmers may be fantastic, and the next guy's software may be perfect, but they might not work together like peaches and kittens.

[Jophiel]

I've been struggling with some fucking buy this antivirus now!!! infection and I'd have no problem kicking the person who built it in the head over and over again.
My brother-in-law paid for that thing. Luckily, my sister was quick on the ball for canceling the credit card and they're trying to get the $49.99 or whatever refunded through Chase as well.

But my sister told my brother-in-law "just fix it" so he took it to Geek Squad. They held onto it for a week and then told him that his hard drive was shot and they would need between $400-$700 to get the data off and restore it. I told him he'd be better off buying a new laptop for that and just get it back and let me look at it. There was nothing physically wrong with the hard drive, Geek Squad just dorked up the BIOS or something to where it wouldn't boot off it any longer. Eventually I just used the original restore disks to get them back up and running and hopefully they learned a lesson. Thankfully, Geek Squad refunded their money so my sister isn't out anything except time and a few non-backed up files.

[bucketybuck]

Too easy. Yawn. I liked it better when we had a Pit cop.

Its like most things, you don't appreciate it until its gone. Come back IVN, they are bleating about dogs and doctors and malware now, its all gone wrong!!!



Me too, and me too.
I've been struggling with some fucking buy this antivirus now!!! infection and I'd have no problem kicking the person who built it in the head over and over again.

I have a special credit card with a $500 limit that I use for internet purchases. I used it to buy the anti-virus once and not only did it not cure my malware, they maxxed out may card in about 10 seconds (I have text notification of all credit card purchases and it must have been automated because I got 7 or 8 charges on my card in about 10 seconds).

I don't think that the death penalty is a deterrent for murderers but I am pretty sure that it would be a deterrent for white collar crime and hacking (and jaywalking).

You bought the anti-virus? Online? You gave your credit card details? :eek:

This is why we needed to invent the word dumbass.

[Amblydoper]

That doesn't mean the error is maliciously exploitable, but there are people who know how to find out, and they do find out to the tune of sometimes a dozen newly discovered vulnerabilities a day.

Creating a new infection these days is not easy, and requires no small investment of time and technical expertise to accomplish.

These two quotes contradict each other. Which is it guys? Are exploits a dime a dozen, or are they time consuming projects?

[Knowed Out]

I got hit with the Security Suite virus recently. It blocked all my apps and kept spamming with warning windows to turn on my security. Same whenever I opened any browser. It kept sending me to their bogus home page.

I tried about a dozen virus scanners, but none of them found the problem. I finally created another user account, performed a system restore, and it worked! So, you can either do constant preventive maintenance, or hope the next virus doesn't outright nuke your computer and do a system restore. Ain't the Internets fun?

[Amblydoper]

Does an ad-blocker prevent the "security" infestation?

[Lynn Bodoni]

Don't worry. Once I take over the world, they're history... or geography. Now, does anyone know where I could hire an all conquering army on the cheap? All you really need to get your point across is a pound of honey, some ropes, and a nest of fire ants.

[Dallas Jones]

Don't worry. Once I take over the world, they're history... or geography. Now, does anyone know where I could hire an all conquering army on the cheap? All you really need to get your point across is a pound of honey, some ropes, and a nest of fire ants.

Too tame.

Ordeal of the Boats.

Where the offender was strapped into a small boat, another boat was strapped inverted over the top, making a sort of coffin leaving the person's head exposed and body confined.

Then the offender is force-fed mead and honey until they get the uncontrollable shits. They lie there in their own filth while the flys and beetles lay larva that consumes them as they lay there alive, with everyone watching.

Takes a few days, but it makes for a hell of a picnic.

I don't know where I read about this but I'm not making it up.

[Johnny Angel]

That doesn't mean the error is maliciously exploitable, but there are people who know how to find out, and they do find out to the tune of sometimes a dozen newly discovered vulnerabilities a day.

Creating a new infection these days is not easy, and requires no small investment of time and technical expertise to accomplish.

These two quotes contradict each other. Which is it guys? Are exploits a dime a dozen, or are they time consuming projects?
Both. Lots of vulnerabilities are being discovered all the time, but they are of varying degrees of exploitability, and finding a sweet spot there takes research. Meanwhile, the White Hats are trying to find any code you put out in the wild and teach their scanners to recognize it by signatures, so you have to either scrap the code or manage to modify it enough to smuggle it past on-access scanners. So, you're tweaking your code, but you only have so much time before the software vendor twigs to what bug you're exploiting, so you have to keep researching what you'll be pwning next. You can save some effort by sticking to the vulnerabilities discovered by the White Hats and responsibly disclosed in co-operation with the vendors who issue a patch with the announcement, though your returns will be smaller because some people actually apply the latest patches, but what's really juicy is to discover what's called a zero-day vulnerability that you can exploit in the wild before anybody knows it exists, and that takes loads of research. So now imagine that you've decided to get only a fraction of the potential profits from all this work by pwning Macs instead of PCs.

[3waygeek]

I should note that the only two Trojans I've ever picked up were off the SDMB, both within the last 3 months, and both on systems with current, well-regarded AV software.

[Guinastasia]

Wouldn't you need trojans if you're going to be using fake viagra? ;)

[Fear Itself]

Wouldn't you need trojans if you're going to be using fake viagra? ;)Just fake trojans.