Is it possible for a person to never fart?

[67java89]

A friend of mine claims she never farts. My other friends and I don't believe her. So, my question is, is it possible for a human being to never fart?

[Diogenes the Cynic]

No.

[Gilliver]

Only until they fall asleep.

[johnpost]

with a tight enough cork, yes.

everyone average about 1 qt. or L per day no matter if it leaks or blasts out. she is a leaker with a relaxed sphincter.

girls don't fart they poot.

[Colibri]

Ask her to prove it. Have her eat a big meal including beans, cabbage, and onions. Then have someone keep watch after she goes to sleep, with a microphone to documentation.

Bet big money on it. :D

[purplehorseshoe]

Despite its name, it's always Smartfood (cheddar popcorn in the black bag) that does it for me. Add some of that to Colibiri's diet.

And yeah. No. It's not possible. She's just one of those girls.

[lieu]

They don't call us human beans for nuthin'. She's got the same fauna and flora in her gut as everyone else so heck yeah she farts. Maybe not as much, but then that's her loss now, isn't it?

[Captain Midnight]

Females do not fart. Well, my mother and wife do, but no other female does.

[Isamu]

No, not possible, BUTT, I'm pretty sure not everyone farts in equal amounts. I've noticed as I get older I fart more. When I was younger, say 10 - 25, I hardly ever farted (while I was awake, at least - not sure what was going on while I was asleep), but now I'm in my forties I fart several times a day (and who knows how much while I sleep?). That would have been unthinkable to my younger self who went weeks (months?) without letting one rip.

My metabolism has slowed and I wonder if that's what causes it?

[Wile E]

She probably thinks her shit don't stink, too.

[kenobi 65]

girls don't fart they poot.

ROFLMAO! I haven't heard that in decades!

(For the rest of you: it's from an ancient Richard Pryor comedy album, in which he had a whole section about farting.)

[leftfield6]

More room out than in, she's gotta let it out somewhere sometime!

Why deny yourself the joy of a good fart?

[cochrane]

Sounds like one for the Mythbusters. They've taken on flatulence myths in the past.

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

It's certainly not possible never to fart. But it is possible never to exult in it.

[WhyNot]

Denial is an amazing force. If we could bottle and sell it, the economic crisis would be over. Only, of course, we don't need to, because people seem to generate it endlessly on their own.

Everyone with an intestine farts. Unless she's on TPN (total parenteral nutrition), she has an intestine to absorb her nutrients. Therefore, she farts.

If she's truly under the impression that she never farts, I'd seriously consider examining her for some sort of neural or muscular deficit related to her ass. I guess it's possible that she's got so little tone in her anal sphincter that she can't feel gas passing, but that would cause some other conditions (like uncontrollable feces) that I would think she'd be aware of.

Let me say it again: everyone with intestines farts. It's the second thing we're waiting for after surgery. First is bowel sounds, then gas, then poop...although that last one might not happen in a short hospital stay. But if you haven't passed gas, you're probably not going home, because it's an indication that something ain't right.

[Colophon]

Despite its name, it's always Smartfood (cheddar popcorn in the black bag) that does it for me.
Despite its name? That trademark was invented by the Reverend Spooner himself!

[Ionizer]

Just an example of what 'retained gas' can do to ya: I had a patient come through X-ray once with extreme shortness-of-breath and she was panting/gasping just to keep from going blue(r), trust me. She'd had some type of minor rectal surgery a week or so before, but all was well to that point. She did not tell anyone she had not pooped and/or farted since surgery, of course. She literally looked pregnant - I was first one to actually lay eyes on her at hospital, fwiw, in defense of the Doc saying it was an asthma attack, hence the Chest film).

I took the PA Chest film and looked at it, and her colon (whole thing) was HUGE - displaced most everything in her belly and pushed her diaphragm/lungs upwards to point where she could not really inhale. Doc said the depressurization, through a little barium-enema tip inserted 'manually', took a looooong time. Stunk up quite a bit of first-floor of that side of hospital, too. I just can't imagine the pSi present in that colon.

If you did not fart, at some point, it'd get problematic (probably) :)

[Darth Panda]

beans, cabbage, and onions.

Add some of that to Colibiri's diet.



The Colibiri diet...

bet you never thought that you'd have the most flatulent diet on the planet named after you...

[StusBlues]

A friend of mine claims she never farts. My other friends and I don't believe her. So, my question is, is it possible for a human being to never fart?

It may be possible that she only expells gas when she defecates. Said emmissions may not, under some systems of gaseous taxonomy, be considered farts per se.

[lieu]

What would you consider them... propellant?

[StusBlues]

What would you consider them... propellant?

"Fellow travellers" with their attendant poo, I should think.

[Freudian Slit]

What about burping? I almost never burp, and I can't make myself burp either. Is that unusual, too? (Yes, I do fart consistently. Ew, that felt so gross to write out.)

[runner pat]

It may be possible that she only expells gas when she defecates. Said emmissions may not, under some systems of gaseous taxonomy, be considered farts per se.

What would you consider them... propellant?

Eau de Poo

[robcaro]

Hmmm, a fart by any other name is still a fart.:D

[purplehorseshoe]

There are tears running down my face, and I'm at work, people! Why, why do I open threads with "fart" in the title at work? I know better than that ... don't I? (I lost all self-control at "some systems of gaseous taxonomy.")

Slit, I can't make myself burp, either, so don't feel so alone. Can't fart on cue, either, and I'm a tiny bit afraid I'd shit myself if I tried too hard.

[lieu]

Doc said the depressurization, through a little barium-enema tip inserted 'manually', took a looooong time. Stunk up quite a bit of first-floor of that side of hospital, too. I just can't imagine the pSi present in that colon.Goin' in I bet the Doc felt like this (http://www.moviemobsters.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/the-hurt-locker-poster.jpg) guy.

[Oglomott]

Sounds like one for the Mythbusters. They've taken on flatulence myths in the past.


They already did. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHcDP_Yew-g)

[LawMonkey]

If you did not fart, at some point, it'd get problematic (probably) :)

Nothing as bad as that story, but...

When I was in highschool and early college, I worked at a local grocery store. One of the other people on our stocking crew had notoriously pungent and frequent gas; the rest of us teased her mercilessly. I didn't want to wind up the subject of that kind of teasing, so at some point I decided to fart no more while at work. Don't really remember deciding not to let it out at home either, but whatever the reason, I wasn't releasing the pressure. I'd say it took a few weeks before I was in the worst sort of pain. Not necessarily constant, though there was a constant level of discomfort, but frequent abdominal pains bad enough to double me over. I put up with that longer than anyone with any sense would've, then finally gave it up and went to the bathroom one night at work and... oh, the relief. :D

Learned my lesson--since then, I'm careful to release the pressure as needed.

[Lightlystarched]

I'm not going to say I never fart, but I never fart outside of the one in the morning. You know, that first morning pee/fart?

I attribute it to giving up grains. They made me miserable, only I didn't know how much until I quit eating them.

[Lightlystarched]

Oh, dh quit farting except appropriately in the bathroom at the expected time, when he quit the bread too.

[jackdavinci]

No (unless you have no intestinal bacteria in which case I don't know what would happen but my guess is unending diarrhea, or else you severely limit your diet to not-gas-producing foods, in which case I imagine there are side effects but I don't know what they are).

But it's certainly possible for a person to minimize the "experience" of farting. They can either, as others have mentioned, fart only during pooing sessions, or alternately, you can fart in such a way as it's a really slow leak, rather than intermittent large bubbles. In which case, it's possibly below the threshold of noticeability for both you and your surrounding humans.

[WhyNot]

No (unless you have no intestinal bacteria in which case I don't know what would happen but my guess is unending diarrhea, or else you severely limit your diet to not-gas-producing foods, in which case I imagine there are side effects but I don't know what they are).

There is no such thing as "not-gas-producing foods". There are foods which produce more gas than others, but anything with polysaccharides can be fermented by bacteria, producing gas. Starches or glycogen will do, and that's in everything we can eat, except maybe an all lard diet. So the main side effect of a not-gas-producing food diet would be an acute case of death by starvation. :D

As for eliminating all intestinal bacterial, while the constant diarrhea would be annoying, the more dangerous effect is infection. Intestinal flora stimulate the GALT (immune system cells), which uses the bacteria as templates to form antibodies against other more nefarious bacteria. These cross-reactive antibodies then leave the intestine, searching for bacteria throughout the body and destroying them before they can cause infection. No bacteria, no cross-reactive antibodies, more infections all over the body, not just in the intestines.

You'd also be more prone to vitamin deficiencies. We rely on our intestinal flora to make Vitamin K and some of the B's, IIRC. So not only is that diarrhea going to dehydrate and interfere with our absorption of vitamins and other nutrients from our food, but we won't have our back up supply of locally grown vitamins to replace what we're not getting from our food.

[Shodan]

Sure, just blame it on the dog.

Regards,
Shodan

[aruvqan]

It may be possible that she only expells gas when she defecates. Said emmissions may not, under some systems of gaseous taxonomy, be considered farts per se.

That is about the only time I fart. Unless I eat a really fartmakingly heavy meal of all Colibrifoods, I rarely ever pass gas while awake. I believe it is due to my dietary control regimen for diabetes.

Though I have noticed that lentils don't tend to give me gas like kidney or great northern beans do, and I tend to prefer lentils. I have also noticed that adding beano when I do eat chili or baked beans does not seem to have any effect on my pooting.

[FartLighter]

I could never date a girl, or even even be friends with someone, who claims they never fart.

[brossa]

Half of the gas in your toots is swallowed air anyway. So even if she had no gut flora and was getting purely IV nutrition, she'd still have to burp and fart at some point. Swallowing small amounts of air is unavoidable.

[Wile E]

...

If she's truly under the impression that she never farts, I'd seriously consider examining her for some sort of neural or muscular deficit related to her ass. I guess it's possible that she's got so little tone in her anal sphincter that she can't feel gas passing, but that would cause some other conditions (like uncontrollable feces) that I would think she'd be aware of.

...

This reminds me of the Family Guy parody of the Shawshank Redemption. After the implied prison rape scene they say his farts never made a sound again and you hear a quiet whooshing sound.

I could never date a girl, or even even be friends with someone, who claims they never fart.

User name/post combo win.

[Rachellelogram]

This reminds me of a story. I was actually dating a guy (lasted all of 2 weeks) who DEMANDED I never fart in front of him. I laughed in his face and dumped his ass. He had a pretty severe madonna/whore complex and apparently "real women don't fart" (or cuss or play computer games... hurrr).

Anyway, to address the OP, it is certainly possible to hold in one's farts while conscious or not pooping. But when pooping and sleeping, one's voluntary sphincter control goes away.

[medstar]

I gotta tell everyone here that past the age of fifty, I can't really hold my farts in--so far, I've only let loose while I'm by myself. I'm dreading the day I'm putting my groceries in my car and let out a four alarm fart while a group of people pass by. There's no way I can blame that one on the dog!

[Minnie Luna]

Just an example of what 'retained gas' can do to ya: I had a patient come through X-ray once with extreme shortness-of-breath and she was panting/gasping just to keep from going blue(r), trust me. She'd had some type of minor rectal surgery a week or so before, but all was well to that point. She did not tell anyone she had not pooped and/or farted since surgery, of course. She literally looked pregnant - I was first one to actually lay eyes on her at hospital, fwiw, in defense of the Doc saying it was an asthma attack, hence the Chest film).

I took the PA Chest film and looked at it, and her colon (whole thing) was HUGE - displaced most everything in her belly and pushed her diaphragm/lungs upwards to point where she could not really inhale. Doc said the depressurization, through a little barium-enema tip inserted 'manually', took a looooong time. Stunk up quite a bit of first-floor of that side of hospital, too. I just can't imagine the pSi present in that colon.

If you did not fart, at some point, it'd get problematic (probably) :)


This post combined with the user name is priceless.

[brossa]

Just an example of what 'retained gas' can do to ya: I had a patient come through X-ray once with extreme shortness-of-breath and she was panting/gasping just to keep from going blue(r), trust me. She'd had some type of minor rectal surgery a week or so before, but all was well to that point. She did not tell anyone she had not pooped and/or farted since surgery, of course. She literally looked pregnant - I was first one to actually lay eyes on her at hospital, fwiw, in defense of the Doc saying it was an asthma attack, hence the Chest film).

I took the PA Chest film and looked at it, and her colon (whole thing) was HUGE - displaced most everything in her belly and pushed her diaphragm/lungs upwards to point where she could not really inhale. Doc said the depressurization, through a little barium-enema tip inserted 'manually', took a looooong time. Stunk up quite a bit of first-floor of that side of hospital, too. I just can't imagine the pSi present in that colon.

If you did not fart, at some point, it'd get problematic (probably) :)

Sounds like Ogilvie's Syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogilvie%27s_syndrome). In residency I saw a man who had had an infected total knee joint replacement removed; he was on strict bed rest for several days and his belly got bigger and bigger each day, to the point that his breathing was compromised as well. Unfortunately, his upright chest film showed free air in his abdomen; his colon had perforated. During surgery, no mechanical obstruction was found - it was strictly a dysmotility problem. I don't recall whether he survived.

Ogilvie syndrome is typically treated by decompressing the colon, either by medical stimulation of the colon or by mechanical decompression with a colonoscope or suchlike. One of the old docs I knew recommended 'The Position', in which the patient was placed on hands and knees, head down, butt up in the air. After a few minutes of this, many patients relaxed to the point that they'd start to decompress in a looooooooooooooooooong, low, whistling toot. The problem being, that most of the patients who developed Ogilivie's couldn't tolerate getting into that position due to incisions, pain, etc.