Sequential threads - You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

[Harmonious Discord]

Here's a new thread for the holidays folks.

What would antimatter look like?
Nuclear war aftermath...

[Nobody]

The worst thing someone could say about you to your face
Help! My fiance won't quit bleeding!

It's only bad if they're the one that cut you.

[Jackmannii]

Nuclear war aftermath...
I'm Going to Read the Bible Out Loud, Beginning to End

Not in my shelter, you're not.

[descamisado]

Across Forums:

Most Over-the-Top Morality Fable for Children or Teens
The whiny impotent sychophant little impotent bitches in Beijing and the Noble prize

Way over the top but we get the picture

[Malacandra]

Also across forums:

tomndebb, please explain...
Japanese Tentacle Porn

Why do you think he is an authority on this subject? :dubious:

[EvilTOJ]

One should probably wear gloves when.....
Wet and Gusty in Ireland

Well thanks for stating the obvious, pal!

[nonacetone]

Funny vanity plates you've seen lately.
There are some things you just can't Google.

[Harmonious Discord]

I'm rude and love it; what job can I get that best lets me 'be myself' (be rude?)
Sarah Palin: I can beat Obama in 2012

A question about the expanding universe.
Reverse Osmosis water filtration under the sink...how long could this feasibly last?

How long could this feasibly last is good for both.

[GESancMan]

An unsettling coincidence on Google
There are some things you just can't Google.
Teach me to master the internet

[Johnny L.A.]

Apple Green-Chili Pie With Cheddar Crust and Walnut Streusel
Favorite "fictional" recipes

[Nobody]

A question about the expanding universe.
Size of the universe?

I don't think anybody knows.

[Johnny L.A.]

From the homepage:

This Appeared Over My SDMB...
Japanese Tentacle Porn

Also:

Japanese Tentacle Porn
Do lobsters scream when put...

[njtt]

Give me an insight into the motive: pushing an occupied bathroom stall's door/others not occupied

JFK was shot from the sewer

I think that answers your question.

[Jackmannii]

Prince Harry's future titles
Cars with Clothes Racks

That's Lord Cars with Clothes Racks. He will also be Duke of Closet Space and King of the Loo.

[Harmonious Discord]

When I was little I thought...
Aw what the hell. Baby pics!

It's just for shits and giggles, then I did.:)

What is an airing cupboard?
Missingmoney.com - found me $336.00

Don't forget to check out Granny's Old Arm Chair. (http://www.lyrics-p.com/authors/misc-folk/misc-folk-grannys-old-armchair-lyrics.shtml)

[Ludovic]

How Can I Fix My BAD CAT?
Jetpack! No, really!

Yup. Step 1, attach BAD CAT to jetpack. Step 2, turn on jetpack. Step 3, profit!

[dhkendall]

One should probably wear gloves when.....
Anyone else flush before they finish?

[Johnny L.A.]

News Flash: The "Red Baron \" Was Killed By a Bullet From the Ground!
JFK was shot from the sewer
Sequential threads - You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

So much shooting, with the bullets and the guns and the screaming and the pain...

[Rilchiam]

Assessment test gems: new batch!
keyboard lights up

What made you decide to divorce?
Okay, Now I'm Just Sabotaging Myself

[Martian Bigfoot]

What made you decide to divorce?
Lens Implants

I finally got a good look at my wife...

[Johnny L.A.]

What made you decide to divorce?
Funeral Home Etiquette (a bit serious, though)

Divorce? Doesn't the contract end at that point anyway?

[Annie-Xmas]

You know all those band names you folks come up with?
Fixing Saggy Roof?

[Larry Mudd]

This one made me laugh out loud just now:

What made you decide to divorce?
Stuff you were embarrassed that you didn't know

[Jackmannii]

Best indestructible puppy toys?
What is this thing?

It may look like a soggy wad of Kleenex, but it was a stuffed raccoon before my Labrador pup got ahold of it.

[Harmonious Discord]

What time do you eat Thanksgiving dinner?
Amazing Race 11/21/10

It is for many people.

Turkey thawing question (need answer fast)
Sarah Palin's Alaska [spoilers]

Alright I won't thaw it her way.

What is this thing?
a cat question

That's a kitty dingaling.

[dhkendall]

What do you do for a living?
Richard Dawkins reads hate mail


And from the main page:

Are humans meat eaters or vegetarian by nature?
Do lobsters scream when put in boiling water?

OK, so that's one vote for "piscivore" ...

[Balance]

Gay TSA officers allowed to grope same-sex passengers?
Friends with Benefits Boundaries?
Experiences You Wish You Had at Age 16

I guess some people have oddly specific fantasies as teenagers....

[Cat Whisperer]

Irritable Bowel Syndrome?
Poll: On the crapper: how many wipes?

Many, many, many wipes.

[Cat Whisperer]

<snip> and King of the Loo.Aren't all men? :D

[CalMeacham]

Happy Hump Day! Share your funny sex stories

Sequential threads - You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

[Cat Whisperer]

Deer Season 'practically a national holiday'; who knew?

Sequential threads - You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

Or, you know, someone else's.

[Katriona]

Deer Season 'practically a national holiday'; who knew?

Sequential threads - You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

Or, you know, someone else's.

Hah - I just saw them in the opposite order and came in to post.

[Harmonious Discord]

Stuff you were embarrassed that you didn't know
Enter your 16 digit card number... again (ARG!)

The Polling feature is enabled. What are you going to do about it?
Sarah Palin: I can beat Obama in 2012

[Nobody]

So TSA Really Is An Acronym For ...
Stuff you were embarrassed that you didn't know

Maybe in a foreign language.

[Harmonious Discord]

We Have Pigeon Eggs
I have health insurance!!!!!!!

Health insurance tops eggs any day.

Where'd your username come from?
Spitfire Beer- Good God People!

Ok. Sorry I asked. Calm down.

I just spent 40 minutes soaking my feet in tea
Share your lamest, most disappointing holiday memories

So that's what you do with those gift boxed teas. What a lame gift.

[Jackmannii]

What made you decide to divorce?
10 hour back-up on I-5 iin Seattlle

That'd do it for most couples. Some can barely tolerate a long red light.

[Harmonious Discord]

Body Scan or Pat Down?
Do People Stare At You, And Why Do They Do That?

I look simply fabulous with or without clothes.;)

[Jackmannii]

Let's have fun with the TSA this holiday season!
I just spent 40 minutes soaking my feet in tea

Soak your groin area in tea and I bet the TSA doesn't linger there very long.

[dhkendall]

Prince William to marry
Chandra Levy Found?

[Harmonious Discord]

What did Sarah Palin shoot
What would prompt fighter jets to escort a plane?

[GESancMan]

Can anyone explain this light bulb joke?
Stuff you were embarrassed that you didn't know

[Harmonious Discord]

Last Day On The Job
Silly Little Things That Bring You Joy

[Hypno-Toad]

Shows you never thought would make you cry...
They cancelled "New Yankee Workshop" ... a year ago

[Jackmannii]

What were my Indian neighbors doing last night?
1960's era conscription

Is this some weird Indian sex fantasy game? "You play the evil draft board, Ashok, and I'll be the unwilling draftee."

[BobArrgh]

Share your lamest, most disappointing holiday memories
Stampede Massacre at Phnom Penh Festival

[Cat Whisperer]

The truly great threads in SDMB history

Poll: On the crapper: how many wipes?

Oh, yeah, that's an instant classic.

[Jackmannii]

Body Scan or Pat Down?
Friends with Benefits Boundaries

[Jackmannii]

How to grind up lamb finely without food processor
Poll: Do you like high heels?

Stilettos do a swell job.

[Martian Bigfoot]

What are you worried about?
Christmas music and atheists

[Jackmannii]

Some motherfucker smashed my car window
Are math students really this bad?

The calculus thugs are the worst. "Your money, or the solution to this parametric equation."

[Harmonious Discord]

Why I tend to dislike my family
I think I now know what it's like to makeout with one of those heavy Axe users
Ghosts! Secret Rooms! Hidden Treasure! People walled up alive, hundreds of years ago! newslink

It sounds like Haunted Honeymoon (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091178/).

why is it empowering that a woman have a sex toy but shameful for a man
Do you own any firearms?

Men have a gun.

[Annie-Xmas]

Ghosts! Secret Rooms! Hidden Treasure! People walled up alive, hundreds of years
Visiting a Prison-Info please

[CalMeacham]

Things you think are truly beautiful

What is this thing?




Is it Truly Beautiful?

[purplehorseshoe]

Laws of Nature.

Why I tend to dislike my family


Why? It's a law. I have to dislike them.

[purplehorseshoe]

Stampede Massacre at Phnom Penh Festival

How do you prepare for shopping on Black Friday?

Wellllllll .... I start by avoiding festivals.

[Harmonious Discord]

Silly Little Things That Bring You Joy
%&*# my Mom says

[Jackmannii]

Best indestructible puppy toys?
You Spin My Head Right Round, Right Round

The Linda Blair Devil Possession Doll. Instead of squeaking, it projectile vomits when your dog squeezes it.

[Jackmannii]

Brits: What are comedians saying about the royal engagement?
Anybody ever make scumble/applejack?

Well, it's more tasteful than joking about William and Kate making toad-in-the-hole.

[GESancMan]

Happy Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for this year?
Bumper cars! (Car crash videos)

[Nobody]

Funny kid stories, once again
Ghosts! Secret Rooms! Hidden Treasure! People walled up alive, hundreds of years ago! newslink

Those don't sound funny at all.

[Nobody]

We Have Pigeon Eggs
2010 Secret Santa Exchange
When I was little I thought...
Those little birds are HUNGRY

So you gave them pigeon eggs to eat? :eek:

[GESancMan]

Happy Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for this year?
%&*# my Mom says

Really. :dubious:

[Jackmannii]

To rescue a kitten or a stately cat?
Best indestructible puppy toys?

A kitten makes a much better toy for a puppy.

[GESancMan]

Happy Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for this year?
Hot men holding kittens (or possibly puppies)

[Johnny L.A.]

Laundering a million
Do You Feel Bad For Victims of Financial Exploitation?

[Cat Whisperer]

So, I'm having LASEK in a couple of weeks...
Sequential threads - You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

(It's not quite there yet, but so close I couldn't resist!)

Actually, I think the doctor will do it for you. :)

[Cat Whisperer]

Share your lamest, most disappointing holiday memories
Hot men holding kittens (or possibly puppies)

Actually, those would be pretty good holiday memories. :D

[Martian Bigfoot]

What's Apple's 'official' excuse for no audible battery low warning?
Drinking in France

They were going to implement it, but Steve Jobs and Jonathan Ive had a bottle of Merlot too many on one of those business trips, and it was kind of forgotten about.

[godix]

From a different forum:

Hands up you 13 year olds with kids
What are we doing wrong?

[GESancMan]

Obama goes bonkers and....
Stomp North Korea on black friday.

'Bout time.

[Jackmannii]

Do People Stare At You, And Why Do They Do That?
Is going bald difficult emotionally?

[Jackmannii]

Main page sequential threads:

Was Hitler A Christian?
Picture Is Worth How Much?"

Quite a bit (http://truereligiondebate.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/christian_hitler.jpg), actually.

[dhkendall]

I finished my book this morning!
I'm REALLY awake - An insomniac MMP

[Der Trihs]

What are you a purist (or not) about?
Duck fat

Only the finest quality duck fat is acceptable!


Dammit. A friend is missing.
Core Explosion

Damn, I told him not to take that job for the Puppeteers!

[dhkendall]

Oddest fetish site I've run across
Stampede Massacre at Phnom Penh Festival

... yeah. That one wins.

Best Thanksgiving In Years!
I finished my book this morning!
I can not get over my regrets

The "yay! I'm done this long project! Now what?" feeling is common.

My first Facebook surprise
10 hour back-up on I-5 iin Seattlle

I'm sure people were updating their statuses from their car.

Funny kid stories, once again
Silly Little Things That Bring You Joy

[Jackmannii]

Things you think are truly beautiful
Gallbladderless people of the Dope!

Yes, they have that certain glow...

[Jackmannii]

Seeking insight regarding traffic incident
How could I make a gag exploding birthday cake?

Road rage is best served cold, I see.

[Jackmannii]

Oddest fetish site I've run across
Ask the foreclosure lawyer

Kinky.

[Johnny L.A.]

Portland bomb plot
Best Thanksgiving In Years!

Next year, even better! BOOM! Muwahahahahahahahaha!

[GESancMan]

Silly Little Things That Bring You Joy
I finished my book this morning!

[Johnny L.A.]

Murder songs
You have the power to permanently eliminate any Christmas song...

[GESancMan]

They should definitely make this movie
Stampede Massacre at Phnom Penh Festival

[Cat Whisperer]

They should definitely make this movie
Stampede Massacre at Phnom Penh Festival
Comedy/musical?

[Nobody]

Ever receive NOTHING for Christmas as a child? Parents - ever give NOTHING to your kids?
Body Scan or Pat Down?

The least my parents could have done was pat me down. I mean, was that too much to ask? :(

[EvilTOJ]

Does Anyone Else Have a Doctor's Who's Done This?
My cat thinks he's a dog

Usually my vet does the brain transplants.

[njtt]

What has happened to you in your time as a Doper?

How much will it cost me to get you to abandon your real life forever?

Nothing. It has already happened. :(

[Ludovic]

Political Correctness and Racial Profiling
Was Jane Austen (1785-1817) Black?

Yes, and she often was stopped by the constabulary for CWB(carriaging while black)

[dhkendall]

Share your lamest, most disappointing holiday memories
Riverdance With Rifles!

Does Anyone Else Have a Doctor's Who's Done This?
No doctor, I do not have "depression."

[GESancMan]

Does Anyone Else Have a Doctor's Who's Done This?
Hans Klok And The Divas Of Magic...10 Illusions In 5 Minutes!

"Um, thanks for all the magic tricks, doc. Can we get down to business now?"

[njtt]

Riverdance With Rifles!

Its coming, isn't it. Fascism.

But this time, the Irish way.

[Hypno-Toad]

Car insurance question.
Where do you keep a billion dollars?

Must be quite a policy.

[Ludovic]

EuroDopers: What's going on over there?
Its coming, isn't it. Fascism.
"People's Capitalism": Is this a good idea?

[Ludovic]

How to make dad write?
Non-scented hand lotion

It puts the lotion on its hand or else it gets the hose.

[Annie-Xmas]

What happens to unused Social Security money?
Foam attic insulation

[Annie-Xmas]

Does Anyone Else Have a Doctor's Who's Done This?
by Lynn Bodoni 29 1,566
Poor Lady...! Woman stuck in bathroom for 20 days

You will give us a urine sample, even if it takes all month

[Jackmannii]

Obama goes bonkers and....
Im not sorry and it is a fact

The pressures of high office claim another President.

[VunderBob]

I just scored this threefer from my Subscribed Forums page:

IMHO: Advice needed: sex worker rehab in Canada
MPSIMS: The Brothel On My Street Was Shut Down. (and the Cafe closed)
The Pit: Fucking TV station

[GESancMan]

Share The Letter You Need To Send To Yourself
Merry Christmas. You're Fired.

Aren't you being a little hard on yourself, Self? Geez...

[Annie-Xmas]

Request cookie recipe to be used for seduction purposes
Poll: Sexiest Man Alive (People Magazine)
Poll: Amanda Peet or Natalie Portman?

I can't begin to tell you what's wrong with this sequence.

[Nobody]

May you get sodomized by rabid grizzlies, you sub-human bastard(s)
Julian Assange and WikiLeaks

Don't hold back. Tell us how you really feel.

[Jackmannii]

Two slightly different viewpoints on airport security:

I like the new TSA pat downs
May you get sodomized by rabid grizzlies, you sub-human bastard(s)

[Ludovic]

This is a thread title/last posting user name combo:

What was the transgendered man going to show us?
Today 05:54 PM by
A Monkey With a Gun

[Hypno-Toad]

Hitler Youth, Me?
I can not get over my regrets

[Ludovic]

Odd Things You've Seen Recently
Don't Fuck With Old Men On A Golf Course!

Because it's really odd.

[purplehorseshoe]

I pit my parents (and all others who treat rape victims like shit)

Don't Fuck With Old Men On A Golf Course!

Warn your parents. (Heaven only knows what they're up to on golf courses these days.)

[Jackmannii]

Climbing a Transmission Tower
I can not get over my regrets

This will not end well.

[Hypno-Toad]

Wesley Snipes reports to prison Dec 9
Poll: "Demolition Man", did *anyone* find the "Kinder, Gentler" society of San Angeles appealing?

Hee Hee

[Jackmannii]

The Brothel on My Street Was Shut Down. (And the Cafe Closed.)
Holy shit. Nobody knows the difference between "lose" and "loose" any more.

If no one could tell the difference, that's why it shut down.

[EvilTOJ]

Most asked web question...
Is this a serious acadmeic paper?

In those exact words? Probably.

[Cat Whisperer]

Most asked web question...
Are Ritz Crackers suddenly more salty?

We're going to get a lot of mileage out of that one. :D

[Hypno-Toad]

Illinois on the verge of allowing same-sex civil unions!
Don't Fuck With Old Men On A Golf Course!

Or at least wait until it's legalized.

There were too many golf-sex innuendos to pick from

[Ludovic]

Do you enjoy living alone?
Help for stiff hands?
Spicen' up your sex life...

[Hypno-Toad]

Condomless Sex better for men too
The "I'll be damned, it actually works" helpful tip thread

[dhkendall]

My co-worker doesn't believe I'm American
Could I Send Y'all This Instead......

OK, dropping "y'all" in should convince him ...

[Jackmannii]

Silly Little Things That Bring You Joy
I found 3.5" HD floppies in my desk drawer!

I've got a dial phone for you, if you can stand the excitement.

[Johnny L.A.]

Noah's Ark theme park, by the Creation Museum people
NASA finds new form of life (for real).

In the news today, NASA reports finding a new form of life. Creationist cite this as proof that life is created and did not evolve, else we'd have already known about it. The new life form, created recently by God, by God!, will be included in the Creation Museum exhibit hall.

[purplehorseshoe]

Burial at Sea
Are Ritz Crackers suddenly more salty?


Those poor crackers. RIP, my crunchy friends.

[CalMeacham]

NASA finds new form of life (for real).


New doper baby!

[Harmonious Discord]

How come my cleaning lady isn't in better shape?
Why does my smoke alarm keep going off?

They don't call her Medicinal Mary Jane for nothing.

[Jackmannii]

I don't know what to do with my life...
May you get sodomized by rabid grizzlies, you sub-human bastard(s)

Uh, any other career suggestions?

[CalMeacham]

"Demolition Man", did *anyone* find the "Kinder, Gentler" society of San Angeles appealing?

Wesley Snipes reports to prison Dec 9

[purplehorseshoe]

My wife had a miscarriage
I had a wisdom tooth pulled today

Sheesh, Dopers are losing things out of their own bodies left and right ...

[KennerTheGreat]

The Brothel on My Street Was Shut Down. (And the Cafe Closed.)
Could I Send Y'all This Instead......

Well, it's not the leggy redhead I was hoping for...but hey, gift horse in the mouth, and all that.

[Harmonious Discord]

New doper baby!
Are Ritz Crackers suddenly more salty?

It's the placenta spread. Everything's better on a Ritz.

[Nobody]

I like the new TSA pat downs
Is there a name for this "logic fallacy"?

I don't think a personal opinion counts as a logical fallacy.


Needs ways to lose the belly fat!
Poll: Doper BMI (Body Mass Index)



Why does rape get special status?
Not pit-level annoyance, just a peeve about pedo and rape hysteria...

[Ludovic]

So how bad can being censured be?
Crusty Nostrils?

Yup, if he gets impeached he'll get a sinus headache.

[Nobody]

Spicen' up your sex life...
Condomless Sex better for men too

[Derleth]

TSA is a part of the "Homosexual Agenda", says (r) Eugene Delguadio.
I like the new TSA pat downs

See? The homosexers love 'em! Soon all domestic flights will be 90% queer.

CC: This isn't really a pitting, but since it's personal...
Fucking TV Station
May you get sodomized by rabid grizzlies, you sub-human bastard(s)

Closed captioning for the rage-inducing.

[purplehorseshoe]

Winter's a-coming! Season of Death Mini-Rants
Ho-fucking-ho: Christmas Season mini-rants

My goodness, we're a whiny bunch this time of year.

[Hypno-Toad]

What would you order from this menu?
Real Coney Island Chili dog.

[Cat Whisperer]

I got a free half-tank of gas last night!
Crimes you have witnessed

Free gas, stolen gas, tomayto, potahto.

[Jackmannii]

turns of phrase you find unintentionally hillarious
Merry Christmas. You're Fired.

[descamisado]

7th annual plea to stop smoking
Saving Ryan's Privates: Bombproof Underwear

Uhm, it's not the smoking that I worry about.

[Mama Zappa]

7th annual plea to stop smoking

I quit smoking 15 hours ago! I feel weird. Can't focus. :O

Hey, Khadaji - looks like someone took you up on it :)

(though it doesn't sound like she's too excited about it right now :( )

[Ludovic]

I don't know what to do with my life...
I like the new TSA pat downs

Well at least that's one thing you've got.

[Jackmannii]

How come my cleaning lady isn't in better shape?
I'd NEVER pay for sex, but if [insert celebrity name here] was available, that'd change

Struck out with the cleaning lady, huh?

[Jackmannii]

Needed: some really filthy romance novels
Santa Claus is NOT here to help out.

It's a humdinger. Santa comes down the chimney, gets involved with bored housewife on Xmas eve, is shot by outraged husband. Kids still score great presents.

[Desert Nomad]

Reactions to alcohol
Did Old West outlaws ever tie women to train tracks?

[Harmonious Discord]

Sequential threads - You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
Crimes you have witnessed

You need to have your insides medically examined. Do you take a tube down the mouth or up the butt?
Don't waste your time/money on ____ (stuff that DOESN'T work)

A (not so) fond farewell to the Grand Marquis
Moments of schadenfreude in your life.

[Harmonious Discord]

How do I get my cat to quit climbing our Christmas tree?
Ever put action figures in the Nativity scene?

[EvilTOJ]

I thought a doctor posting about being convinced to quit smoking was funny enough, but

Convince me to stop smoking!
Doctor

I quit smoking 15 hours ago! I feel weird. Can't focus. :O

That's not very convincing....

[Johnny L.A.]

What would you order from this menu?
Spaghetti sandwiches

[Jackmannii]

Can I go to a formal event without pantyhose? need answer fast ;)
Suggest a source for FUNCTIONAL fully fashioned stockings and garter belts?

Wow, those Promise Keepers meetings are getting to be pretty wild affairs.

[Harmonious Discord]

Ever put action figures in the Nativity scene?
I suck at job interviews

Some questions are plain stupid in interviews. Say yes and move on.

Dotted-i costs two lives
Spanish to Lose a Couple of Letters

The language butchers the tourists, but the tourists get justice.

Vulcan Pick Up Lines
Crimes you have witnessed

[Tapioca Dextrin]

I hate Conservatives.
Why does my smoke alarm keep going off?

Something to do with the steam coming out of your ears?

[Jackmannii]

Poll: Could you have a satisfying sex life with a partner who would only do oral & manual?
Poll: Was sex anywhere near McCain's mind in selecting Palin as VP, in your view?

I think you're misinterpreting the phrase "joint appearance".

I quit drinking 15 days ago. Am I over the worst of it?
My dad called me drunk again.

Maybe not.

[Jackmannii]

What should I do while in Japan?
Prepare for your next flight!

Few people realize this, but you can have a terrific vacation and never leave the airport. Food, shopping, comfy seats - what more do you want?

[Harmonious Discord]

Two firms fight for Hooters
LAP-ing is not allowed.

Obama=Hitler Guy: The Saga Continues! He responded to my response
Does your paper report this from time to time (punching a stranger with no apparent motive)?

[Ludovic]

So... have you killed anybody?
RIP pkbites......

It wasn't me I SWEAR!

[Cat Whisperer]

From the New Posts list:
7th annual plea to stop smoking
Poll: So... have you killed anybody?

Yeah - MORE PEOPLE THAN HITLER!!!1!1!111!!

[Jackmannii]

Amazing Race 12/05
Live Goose To Oven (Amount of Time)

I'm thinking it takes several hours at least. The cook is faster, the goose has the incentive to stay ahead.

[Nobody]

Definitely mundane, but possibly not pointless observation about using a foreign language
Skipping Letters When Writing...

Don't.

OK, I guess that was less of an observation and more of a warning.

[CalMeacham]

My co-worker doesn't believe I'm American

The Internet thinks I am a Jewish woman

My 15-year old probably has Asperger's & his school thinks he's a stoner

[Ludovic]

Would you stay with your spouse/partner if s/he unexpectedly changed sex?
How would you illustrate the word "Indifferent?"

I'd draw a picture of a spouse in bed with a partner who's just unexpectedly changed sex.

[CalMeacham]

I can't have a dog!

My girlfriend is secretly trying to turn me into a cat-lover.

[GESancMan]

How would you illustrate the word "Indifferent?"
Cats and bathrooms

Well, cats, sure, I get that, but what difference does it make where they are?

[Hypno-Toad]

NM

[runner pat]

U.S. Doper needs Vegemite, help!

What disgusts other people but not you?

[Johnny L.A.]

So... have you killed anybody?
[Blank] is Dead

[Tapioca Dextrin]

What disgusts other people but not you?

Mens cologne

Bad smell + bad punctuation makes for a two time loser.

[dzero]

Is it acceptable to have misread thread titles?

Where in Miami is the Burn Notice Cafe
Are spies effective against intestinal parasites (should be spices not spies)

Thanks.

[Annie-Xmas]

What the hell kind of birthday present do you get for someone who's dying?
My lousy birthday

[Jackmannii]

We Have Pigeon Eggs
Happy Anniversary to us!

[Annie-Xmas]

Pig made the mistake of its life attacking butcher's shop
Moments of schadenfreude in your life.

[dhkendall]

What disgusts other people but not you?
Neptune is about to complete its first orbit

[StusBlues]

Do you like it when someone reads to you?

Needed: some really filthy romance novels

[Mama Zappa]

Poll: So... have you killed anybody?
Home Defense Shotguns and How to keep them accessible.

:eek:
Sounds like someone is thinking of changing that "No" to a "Yes"!
:eek:

[Tapioca Dextrin]

It was 30 years ago today.

Obama {deals | caves} on tax cut extensions

That long ago? It feels like it only happened yesterday.

[GESancMan]

RIP Elizabeth Edwards
Dammit, my boobs hurt

The gates of hell yawn before me...

[Winston Bongo]

Where do you keep a billion dollars?
Are BPA-Free plastic water bottles safe? Or not?

They'll definitely keep it dry, but you're going to need a LOT of them.

[Derleth]

UK drug policy to be decided on three things...
Motherfucking seven inch centipedes
N. and S. Korea firing artillery at each other
El Presidente... ¡de ignorancia!

Well, that's about par for the course with drug policy. Especially the huge arthropods. (Just ask William Lee.)

[Hypno-Toad]

You find a bag with meth lab stuff and $100,000 USD in it...
Who do you give a holiday tip?

[Annie-Xmas]

The Celebrity Death Pool 2011
The Celebrity Death Pool 2010
Bakers Dozen

That's TWO Baker's Dozens, Sweetie.

[CalMeacham]

Longest you've ever gone without a full body shower or bath?

Would you buy a True Clean© towel?

[Jackmannii]

Whats better than Devil's Spit BBQ sauce?
Motherfucking seven inch centipedes

Mmmm, try 'em with curry too.

[Jackmannii]

Poll: You're An Adult, And Someone Farts In Church
Longest you've ever gone without a full body shower or bath?

After the bean supper, I didn't shower for a full year in protest.

[GESancMan]

Big cats plus catnip!
Sick kitty; upset owner.

[Ludovic]

Where do you keep a billion dollars?
Underground LP Tanks?

Sure, just make sure they're empty first.

[GESancMan]

Programmers/Software Engineers! Please reply.
Poll: Men, you are asked to stop in mid coital frenzy

Wouldn't it make more sense to ask people who are... you know... gettin' some?

I'm a mathematician. I'm allowed.

[Harmonious Discord]

"Bomb Factory" house too dangerous to clear -- will be burned down
I have SOULS for sale!

This one is exceptional.

[Jackmannii]

Ever put action figures in the Nativity scene?
Sick kitty; upset owner.

Yeah, so I was short a couple of wise men and substituted a guy chasing his barfing cat, so what.

[Annie-Xmas]

In Praise of the US Postal System
Could they Drop the Ball a bit Faster?

Oxymoron threads.

[Annie-Xmas]

Whatcha Readin' Dec 2010 Edition
Hot salsa and wimpy Canadians

It's...it's a cookbook!

[GESancMan]

Ask the woman who is getting Essure
Tummy-Tuck: Yay or Nay?

Well, as long as they're in there...

[Balance]

I probably shouldn't post this, but having made the connection, I need to get it out of my head by inflicting it on others:

US taxpayers funding the pimping of eight year old boys as sex slaves in Afghanistan
fucking amateurs

Well, you can't really expect them to be professionals at eight.

[Scuba_Ben]

Right now here in MPSIMS:

My lousy birthday
Brian David Mitchell found GUILTY of kidnapping Elizabeth Smart

Gosh, it must REALLY suck to be him.

[Jackmannii]

I have SOULS for sale!
Cardboard Police Officers

Interesting, but what Satan's really after are department store mannequins.

[Jackmannii]

You have the power to permanently eliminate any Christmas song...
What is the newest Christmas carol?

I like the way you think, kiddo.

[Der Trihs]

I have SOULS for sale!
Can you sell somebody else's soul to the devil?

Nope. You should've found that out before going to the trouble of collecting all those souls.

[GESancMan]

So, I said something rude & stupid at a party.
I may be fired soon

[EvilTOJ]

car trouble is back
Shake, Rattle and Roll (truck question)

[Nobody]

Let's Talk Fruitcakes
Poll: Do you custom mix your nuts?

[Ludovic]

Two Politicians run civil campaign
Memories of a memory

[GESancMan]

The end of the world is 5/21/2011!
Hallelujah!

Not exactly my first reaction...

[GESancMan]

I may be fired soon
Cardboard Police Officers

These budget cuts are really getting out of hand.

[Hypno-Toad]

Paul McCartney on Sat. Night Live
Let's Talk Fruitcakes

[Nobody]

"I was kicked out of the Boy Scouts for eating a Brownie"
You get one free food for the rest of your life - What'll it be?

I don't know, but it's not going to be brownies, that's for sure.

[cochrane]

One of our foster kittens doesn't use the litterbox. What to do?
Where to go?

[Ludovic]

What Are You Drinking Right Now?
Hot salsa and wimpy Canadians

[Hypno-Toad]

A pig's clitoris is inside the vagina
I looked and looked: A tentative MMP

[Hypno-Toad]

Things to do in Paris during Xmas?
Poll: So... have you killed anybody?

I try to avoid the touristy stuff, myself.

[Jackmannii]

How do theists reconcile the supposed immortal consciousness of the soul, with deep sleep?
What bodily functions / traits would be a deal-breaker on a date?

Falling into a deep sleep is near the top of the list.

I thought my German final was on Wednesday but it was today
Calm down, dude. Have a (picture of a) steak

Can I have a (picture of a) wiener schnitzel instead?

[dhkendall]

Not quite a sequential thread, more of a hilarious thread title/user name combo, coupled with thread title truncation on the main page:

Were the Founding Fathers...
by Really Not All That Bright

[Jackmannii]

I took out my neighbor's trash...
A pig's clitoris is inside the vagina

Huh, they threw out the best part.

[Nobody]

No doctor, I do not have "depression."
Rudest car on the road!
So I'm Going To Drive Across The Country By Myself And I'm Going To Die


John Boehner, Crier of the House?
Seriously, what is with all the bitching?

[GESancMan]

My girlfriend is secretly trying to turn me into a cat-lover.
We can haz railgun?

Looks like she's succeeded.

[Harmonious Discord]

Spanish and US governments conspired to squash prosecution of soldiers who killed Reuters journalist
Capt. Ridley's Shooting Party

Title and user name

[Jackmannii]

I'm visiting Nuremburg (Germany) in December. What to see/do?
Ever put action figures in the Nativity scene?

It's more fun to do this at the Vatican.

[Annie-Xmas]

John Wayne would have kicked Chuck Norris's ass
Anyone else anxious to see True Grit?

I heard in the original, Wayne kicked Norris's ass.

[Johnny L.A.]

How do you prefer to die?
Christmas tree, or not?

Depends, I guess. Are we talking impalement? Bludgeoning? Or just having one fall on you?

[CalMeacham]

A possible reason as to why we have not found any extra-terrestrials

Why is O'Hare so uniquely screwed up?






They're all in "Lost Luggage"

[CalMeacham]

What separates a good piano player from a great one?

Boiled Peanuts

[Hypno-Toad]

Essential condiments/seasonings/luxuries for vegan cooks
Boiled Peanuts

[CalMeacham]

I pit guys who ask you to move 1500 miles for them and then dump you

Workplace griping, anyone?

[Nobody]

Titles with misleading connotations
Flat cookies

This is really a coming of age story set in the Czech Republic.

[Tapioca Dextrin]

Blackberry problem
Potatoes, anyone?

You can't really substitute one for the other in recipes.

[CalMeacham]

That's it I am done with movies

Casting bias against busty actresses?




Would've been better reversed, but you go to war with the sequential threads you have.

[Jackmannii]

Who (or what) were you named after?
Nordstrom's made-to-order shirts?

Huh. And all this time I thought "Long Sleeves" meant you were a Native American.

[Hypno-Toad]

Teledildonics: So, it apparently exists...
I am not looking forward to going to bed

[Jackmannii]

You are present to witness the downfall of civilization. What's your witty one-liner?
Tinfoil? Not likely-

Not bad. Reminds me of the tombstone epitaph: "I TOLD you I wasn't a hypochondriac".

[Jackmannii]

You Know You're Getting Older When ...
[Canadian] Senate committee recommends killing the penny
Make it stop!

Eh, them young people don't care about the coins no more.

[CalMeacham]

Electric blanket + Urine?

Can I train myself to be efficient on less sleep?




First, get an Electric Blanket ....

[Ludovic]

Violating my rights
Make it stop!

Help! I'm being repressed!

[Annie-Xmas]

You are present to witness the downfall of civilization. What's your witty one-liner?
I'm going to have a gay/straight/open marriage

And you didn't believe gay marriage would cause the downfall of civilization.

[Hypno-Toad]

Men dating women who are pregnant and the baby isn't theirs...
Is Asking for Child Support Always the Best Thing To Do?

I'd wait until the second date before asking.

[Jackmannii]

What should be on your family crest?
Make it stop!

To be displayed prominently at family get-togethers.

[Anne Neville]

What should be on your family crest?
Make it stop!

To be displayed prominently at family get-togethers.

I didn't know you were a relative of mine. Hi, cousin!

[CalMeacham]

Are you hot? (not spam)

And so, as Expected, My Life Prepares to Descend into Hell Yet Again...





Are you hot yet?

[Nobody]

Funny vanity plates you've seen lately
And so, as Expected, My Life Prepares to Descend into Hell Yet Again...

I guess it's kind of funny if the car's owned by Lucifer. Although it makes a better bumper-sticker than a license plate.

[Nobody]

Poll: Poll: How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa Claus?
7
Poll: Have you ever been treated for depression?
Yes, when I was 7.

[Jackmannii]

Who (or what) were you named after?
Humming noise from TV

Little Ommmmmmmmmm just loves the Upanishads.

[Harmonious Discord]

Ho-fucking-ho: Christmas Season mini-rants
New chick tract!

[Jackmannii]

If the Dinosaurs Hadn't Been Wiped Out?
Poll: Your boundaries with pets in your home

No way I'd consider dinosaurs as anything but outside pets. It'd be hell stopping T. Rex from counter cruising.

[dhkendall]

I am on Vacation
Make it stop!

[GESancMan]

What should be on your family crest?
You've been un-invited!

Oh, if only...

[Nobody]

Why is Gasoline so damn expensive right now ($3.00 US, approx)
Abortion and child support

This ought to be interesting hearing how they all tie together.

[Ludovic]

You are present to witness the downfall of civilization. What's your witty one-liner?
Is my niece going to get my present?

Yup, that's what I'd say.

[Jackmannii]

Baby Names!!!
Christmas Worries aka the onslaught of the toys

Not a bad name for a rambunctious three-year-old. Even better for a three-year-old horse. "And in the backstretch, it's Christmas Worries by a neck over Mohammed's Radio, Pleistocene and See You Later Alligator!!!"

I got lots more horsie names, just ask.

[Larry Mudd]

OMG, They actually had "stag" movies back in the 1920's..
Strange actor cameos

Alright! Clara Bow-chicka-wow-wow!

[Cat Whisperer]

And the heavens opened. . .
The most unusual bottle of wine I ever had

Did they at least ask first?

[Harmonious Discord]

And so, as Expected, My Life Prepares to Descend into Hell Yet Again...
Is my niece going to get my present?

Not likely.

[Jackmannii]

What should be on your family crest?
Librarians: I LOVE 'Em!

You'll be a big hit at the reference desk.

[Jackmannii]

Could the president, his wife, hit squads, a house member, a senator, and the AG take over America?
Come All Ye Secularists

A nice Christmas fable, but Junior just wants to hear about Santa and the reindeer.

[Annie-Xmas]

Help me make a McCartney best of song list
I think I've experienced the biggest eyeroll moment in all of film...

Speaking of eyes...

[Annie-Xmas]

Have you ever been treated for depression?
what's wrong with getting drunk at 2pm

Oh noes. Getting drunk is self-medication. Go to a doctor and get treated with one pill, then a pill to boost the first pill, then four pills for the side effects, then five more for more side efects.

[Cat Whisperer]

Have you ever been treated for depression?
what's wrong with getting drunk at 2pm

Oh noes. Getting drunk is self-medication. Go to a doctor and get treated with one pill, then a pill to boost the first pill, then four pills for the side effects, then five more for more side efects.
Ah, I see you HAVE been treated for depression. :D

[Rilchiam]

Seven years later: 727 from Angola still missing

Where did that thread go?

And I can't find my garage-door opener. What's going on...?

[Nobody]

You are present to witness the downfall of civilization. What's your witty one-liner?
My favorite snowboarding mountain re-opened after 8 years! WOOT!

[Annie-Xmas]

How is eve online?
EVE online impressions

As good as Rio by Duran Duran

[Jackmannii]

Germaphobes and hygeine nazis: Why?
How do you prefer to die?

Not by having you sneeze all over me, you germ-ridden pustule.