Why People Do Want to Date You [Archive] - Straight Dope Message Board

Autolycus

01-12-2011, 07:36 AM

So, overall you're a worthless sack of crap. Dull, out of shape, boring and repetitive, your life's only pleasure consists of Scooby-Do reruns and your favorite character is Scrappy. You order Bacon Double Cheeseburgers with no bacon.

But there's hope! For as Tolkien said, not all who wander are lost. Losers are most loser-ish before the dawn. And shit.

OK, with that alcohol-fueled and probably incoherent opening, what I'm trying to get at is, *ahem*, what are your own highly attractive qualities? In the Dark Side edition of this thread, the wind of my soul states: We all have our deal-breakers in the dating world, and we've had threads about them before. But I want to turn the tables and ask what behavior you exhibit that's often a deal-breaker for others.

So, to hell with the deal-breakers, what are your game-winners?

xanthous

01-12-2011, 07:43 AM

I've been told:
I'm beautiful
I'm a passionate person about things I love
I'm funny
I'm smart
I give a great blow job (of course guys don't know this beforehand, but it does keep 'em around...:cool:)

The wind of my soul

01-12-2011, 07:49 AM

The single one I hear most often is that I'm exciting.

Side note: Yay! I've never been featured in someone else's OP before! Let's be friends!

interface2x

01-12-2011, 08:20 AM

I'm reasonably smart and funny.
I have a college degree.
I have held full time jobs consistently since I graduated college over 10 years ago.
I make decent money and have no debt.
I'm responsible with my decisions.
I don't smoke or do drugs.

I'm pretty awesome now that I look at it.

Autolycus

01-12-2011, 08:27 AM

Yay! I've never been featured in someone else's OP before! Let's be friends!

Make it so.

**

As for little 'ol me, I've been told by others (and as all my dates match myself in near-godlike honesty I see no reason to doubt it):

I'm funny
Kind
Smart
Fun to be around

I wouldn't mind adding handsome and great in bed to that list, but we takes what we can get :D I'm pretty darn happy with myself.

Dung Beetle

01-12-2011, 08:46 AM

I’m small, friendly, cute, and gullible.

shiftless

01-12-2011, 08:47 AM

Side note: Yay! I've never been featured in someone else's OP before! Let's be friends!

Oh no, now you are going to be in the Friend Zone and thus no longer dateable!

I haven't dated in about 22 years and nobody every told me why they dated me in the first place. Because I asked maybe? I guess I was funny and not too bad looking when I was young, was educated and athletic, didn't live with my parents. These features are, at least, not repulsive to women so some of them said yes when I asked them out.

filling_pages

01-12-2011, 11:41 AM

I'm funny, I'm loyal, I have certain artistic skills that some people find impressive, and I've been told I provide a good time in the sack. It seems to work out for me, overall.

Hello Again

01-12-2011, 11:48 AM

I'm a girl and I have a lot of nerdy interests. And I like dating nerds. So... that pretty much works out. Or has in the past, as I'm married now (to a nerd).

Sunspace

01-12-2011, 11:53 AM

I’m small, friendly, cute, and gullible.Hi. I am Sunspace, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht. ;)

Dung Beetle

01-12-2011, 12:27 PM

Hi. I am Sunspace, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht. ;)

All that and good looks too! :eek:

Sunspace

01-12-2011, 01:11 PM

All that and good looks too! :eek:It's a classical reference (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hare_Brush). :)

Disclaimer: not actually millionaire or mansion/yacht owner. Honest, though. Mostly.

Sunspace

01-12-2011, 01:24 PM

I've been told:
I'm beautiful
I'm a passionate person about things I love
I'm funny
I'm smart
I give a great blow job (of course guys don't know this beforehand, but it does keep 'em around...:cool:)You're also an adjectival form of yellow. And yellow is my favourite colour. :)

Misnomer

01-12-2011, 02:12 PM

I have awesome blue eyes and a nice rack. Also, when you get to know me you learn that I'm a pretty cool chick: I'm smart and funny, I'm a great singer, I have an awesome dog and a cool car, I have various and eclectic interests, I get along with most folks and enjoy meeting new people, I'm loyal and thoughtful, etc. Heck, I'd date me. ;)

Casey1505

01-12-2011, 02:20 PM

I might not be the best lover, but I'm fast.

Infovore

01-12-2011, 02:26 PM

I'm funny
I'm smart
I'm geeky
I can usually troubleshoot my own computer problems
I value punctuality, honesty, and integrity
I'm strange, but in a reasonably socially acceptable way
I have very eclectic interests, and love learning new things
I have a good job
I'm a good writer
I don't smoke, drink (not philosophically opposed--just don't like the taste much), do drugs, or gamble beyond the occasional low-stakes poker game.
I'm low-maintenance (I demand respect assuming I've earned it, but have no particular interest in expensive meals, presents, trips, etc.)

RickJay

01-12-2011, 02:42 PM

Smart and funny is a standard response but in my case it's actually true.

Wonderful blue eyes.

Tall.

Don't smoke.

Good at getting along with my date's friends and family.

Great kisser.

lindsaybluth

01-12-2011, 04:04 PM

I'm a girl and I have a lot of nerdy interests. And I like dating nerds. So... that pretty much works out. Or has in the past, as I'm married now (to a nerd).

This. I have nerdy interests and like nerds/smart guys, so I've always had my pick of the litter.

I've emotionally low-maintenance. That attracts a lot of guys, especially in college, who aren't looking for the clingy type.

Uh...and I'm a D cup. For better and for worse.

Quartz

01-12-2011, 05:22 PM

I'm modestly smart. I have a very wide range of knowledge: I'm forever picking up tidbits here (and particularly here on the Dope), there, and everywhere. I'm tall, dark-haired, and modestly handsome. I appear to be good with small children.

But I've yet to win a point, let alone a game.

drachillix

01-12-2011, 05:58 PM

All that and good looks too! :eek:

Hello, my name is drach, I mumble alot, have tattoos featuring the names of 3 ex g/f's 6 children, and the exploits of a life spent mostly in prison. I drink too much, and currently am wanted in 6 states and 3 foreign countries. I don't own a car, or a home. I come and go at odd hours but manage to pay the bills.

[braces for the oncoming flood of women throwing themselves on me/marriage proposals]

WhyNot

01-12-2011, 06:15 PM

I have awesome blue eyes and a nice rack.

This.

Well, actually, a huge rack, which is not quite the same thing as awesome. But it certainly has its share of fans. Most of the time, it really is my eyes that lovers comment on, though.

I'm funny (not quite as often as I think I am, but still...), can discuss the shit out of a whole bunch of topics, and I can generally gauge the tone of a debate in real life, knowing when to bring out cites and when it's just talking smack.

I can make your boo-boos better, by any number of conventional or traditional means.

I'm a good cook.

I tend to get interested in whatever you're interested in. And it's genuine, not faked. People's passions interest me.

I like sex, and I'm not jealous. I hope you (meaning the person I'm interested in) like sex with me, but if you like sex with someone else as well, be my guest. I don't tie a whole bunch of emotional baggage to sex or sexual attraction. I'm pretty likely to notice that girl with the great rack or ass walking down the street and point her out to you, and it's not a trap.

If I ask you if my ass looks fat in these pants, it's also not a trap. I won't get mad at you, I really do want to know, because I can't see back there!

AHunter3

01-12-2011, 07:32 PM

I'm in a male body and I'm attracted to females, but I'm a girl. (Not transsexual because I don't reject the body I'm in as wrong, just as not the expected combo of sex and gender).

Rachellelogram

01-12-2011, 08:31 PM

I kick ass at video games. I've been complimented on my oral techniques pretty much universally in every relationship I've been in. I'm open-minded, smarter than I look, and I'm not Republican.

oh and I have a sexy voice which is nice for phone-anigans

I'm not jealous, at all. I would definitely consider being in a poly or open relationship. And although I've never had a chance to lez out, I find females and males both attractive and sexy (like in porn). And I'm not repressed!

Allthegood

01-12-2011, 08:45 PM

I'm in a male body and I'm attracted to females, but I'm a girl.

AHunter3 knows this, but the rest of you might not realize: the combination he describes can be really, REALLY attractive to a certain kind of female. It helps that the male body in question is pretty darned cute, and that his traditionally-female characteristics exclude the more annoying ones. He's downright irresistible. :)

AHunter3

01-12-2011, 08:54 PM

AHunter3 knows this, but the rest of you might not realize: the combination he describes can be really, REALLY attractive to a certain kind of female. It helps that the male body in question is pretty darned cute, and that his traditionally-female characteristics exclude the more annoying ones. He's downright irresistible. :)

:) I also listed the exact same characteristic in the parallel thread "Why People Don't Want to Date You". Certain women do seem to find the combination really attractive; for many others, it's very much the dealbreaker.

kunilou

01-12-2011, 08:57 PM

Hello, my name is drach, I mumble alot, have tattoos featuring the names of 3 ex g/f's 6 children, and the exploits of a life spent mostly in prison. I drink too much, and currently am wanted in 6 states and 3 foreign countries. I don't own a car, or a home. I come and go at odd hours but manage to pay the bills.

[braces for the oncoming flood of women throwing themselves on me/marriage proposals]

I'm a Nice Guy. I'm clean, well-behaved and polite. I'm not particularly interesting or fun to be with or sexy, but I'm there when when drach gets hauled off to jail for waving a broken beer bottle at his dates.

I am the Recovery Boyfriend.

Siam Sam

01-12-2011, 09:12 PM

Because I can lick my eyebrows.

PandaBear77

01-12-2011, 09:12 PM

I don't nag

Allthegood

01-12-2011, 09:13 PM

:) I also listed the exact same characteristic in the parallel thread "Why People Don't Want to Date You". Certain women do seem to find the combination really attractive; for many others, it's very much the dealbreaker.

I know. I saw. And my answer to that is: GOOD! If everyone found you as attractive as I do, I probably wouldn't stand a chance with you. And that would be sad -- for me, not for you.

Allthegood

01-12-2011, 09:26 PM

Why men want to date me: Passionate. Intelligent. Witty. Educated and artsy. Thoughtful and considerate. Good listener. Easy-going and undemanding. Very open-minded. Socially adept. Highly sexed. Kinky.

msmith537

01-12-2011, 09:31 PM

I'm sarcastic to the point of obnoxiousness
I drink excessively
I'm lazy
I could probably work out more
I'm sometimes unemployed

Women seem to like that

pravnik

01-12-2011, 10:19 PM

I'm sarcastic to the point of obnoxiousness
I drink excessively
I'm lazy
I could probably work out more
I'm sometimes unemployed

Women seem to like thatThey do indeed. What instrument do you play?

Invisible Chimp

01-12-2011, 11:08 PM

People have told me I'm smart and I think I'm handsome. At least I have that going for me, which is a start.

Noel Prosequi

01-12-2011, 11:53 PM

My mum says I'm cool.

Isamu

01-12-2011, 11:57 PM

I'll lower your self-esteem to the point where you'll consider dating me.

EvilTOJ

01-13-2011, 04:17 AM

Because I loathe sports and hate watching them on TV.

I have a pretty acerbic wit and.. uh... know big words and stuff.

I last a long time in the sack (although they don't know that at first)

Koxinga

01-13-2011, 04:22 AM

I'm white and speak English. Only works in select countries, though.

Rex Goliath

01-13-2011, 04:31 AM

I'm mysterious and have a lot of charisma when I want to. Plus, I'm cute.

SanVito

01-13-2011, 07:18 AM

I'm charming and easy-going, bright, creative, have a job that sounds more glamorous and well paid than it actually is, and have been told by varies parties and third hand comments that I'm a sexy woman. The dimples and cheekbones help.

Shecky

01-13-2011, 08:19 AM

Smart
Witty
Funny
Ambitious
Able to talk to anyone

I tell people it's because I can lick my own eyebrows.

Electric Sky

01-13-2011, 08:32 AM

I like talking to people, I've got a good imagination, and I have an underdeveloped sense of shame. That together seems to translate into charisma, for some reason. :p I'm also pretty adventurous once you get past my innate inertia.

In addition, once you've actually snared me, I have the adoring loyalty of a slightly dim golden retriever.

DigitalC

01-13-2011, 09:23 AM

Not giving a shit about whether i am alone or not seems to be like crack to women.

MeanOldLady

01-13-2011, 09:35 AM

I might not be the best lover, but I'm fast.So how you doin'?

stretch

01-13-2011, 12:39 PM

I am female, that seems to be enough for a lot of guys. ;-)

long red hair
employed and buying a house
smart
funny
cheap date
low maintenance

I'm a catch, but I'm hard to live with!

CandidGamera

01-13-2011, 01:53 PM

Agent Foxtrot

01-13-2011, 02:06 PM

I have no idea why people want to date me. I'm not fat but I do I have a bit of a beer gut. My hair grows fast and while I keep it neat, I don't have time to get it cut every three weeks. I'm often nervous around new people and it shows. However, I seem to get hit on during the unlikeliest of times by the unlikeliest of people.

For example, the day before Thanksgiving, I lost my cell phone at work. I was running around frantically trying to find it. Eventually, I got a call from someone that she found it, and she'll meet me wherever I want to pick it up.

So I ask her to meet me outside my work building. She shows up and happens to be a very cute and very out-of-my-league Indian girl in her early or mid-twenties. She introduces herself as Ruba or Rubia (I didn't fully catch it). I offer her $20 as a reward (my phone home screen offers it if found) and she declined. I thanked her and she starts chatting me up! "Is this where you work? What do you do? How long have you worked here?" She saw from the beginning that I'm obviously very much a hurry (I want to start my vacation, dammit!) and give her short one-word answers. I'm walking back to my car and she starts walking with me.

I tell her I need to get back and thanked her again. She said, "No problem. I was just buying some fudge when I found it," and gave me the cutest smile.

This is the most recent example, but this is one situation of many. If I wasn't already taken, I definitely would have asked her to go for a drink.

Giraffe

01-13-2011, 03:40 PM

Stockholm syndrome.

Allthegood

01-13-2011, 05:58 PM

Did anyone else just flash back to the Grapist?

I am so NOT the Grapist. I am, instead, a person delights in making AHunter3 deliriously happy (and vice versa I might add). And I'm the first person he's successfully lured to the SDMB.

Koxinga

01-13-2011, 06:25 PM

I am so NOT the Grapist. I am, instead, a person delights in making AHunter3 deliriously happy (and vice versa I might add). And I'm the first person he's successfully lured to the SDMB.

This post has been autotexted by the Autotextist!

Electric Warrior

01-13-2011, 06:36 PM

I'm a girl and I have a lot of nerdy interests. And I like dating nerds. So... that pretty much works out. Or has in the past, as I'm married now (to a nerd).

Not married, but this. I like to think I'm also a sensible person who knows how to behave like an adult in relationships.

Moonlitherial

01-13-2011, 07:14 PM

I'm a girl and I have a lot of nerdy interests. And I like dating nerds. So... that pretty much works out. Or has in the past, as I'm married now (to a nerd).

Based on the number of "This" responses there are a few of us around.

Btw: This!

Robot Arm

01-14-2011, 01:01 AM

I have a nine-inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears.

No?

I am educated, reasonably successful, smart, will actually listen to you, can regale you with tales of adventure in faraway lands, your cats will like me, and I will occasionally make you laugh so hard that milk comes out your nose*.

Lots of good reasons, really. I'm just having a hell of a time getting the word out.

Offer limited to stock on hand. One to a customer. Professional driver on closed course. Consult your doctor before using. Price does not include milk or other nasally ejected beverages.

Robot Arm

01-14-2011, 02:12 PM

On the other hand, there is my legendary thread-killing ability.

drachillix

01-14-2011, 04:09 PM

I'm a Nice Guy. I'm clean, well-behaved and polite. I'm not particularly interesting or fun to be with or sexy, but I'm there when when drach gets hauled off to jail for waving a broken beer bottle at his dates.

I am the Recovery Boyfriend.

Lol, your description is actually a more accurate description of me than what I posted.

One of my friends called me the "Paramedic of broken hearts" for a while because I seemed to have a ton of dates over a year or so where every one of them had just gone through something bad (2 messy abusive divorces, a violent death of last SO, a rape, one lost several family members in a car accident, one her dad died then she was diagnosed with colon cancer 2 weeks later, I hadnt seen this much raw misfortune since my EMT days. Most of them ended up not being ready for any kind of LTR and wandered off.

lindsaybluth

01-14-2011, 10:32 PM

On the other hand, there is my legendary thread-killing ability.

Hey, you and me both!

Ludy

01-14-2011, 10:52 PM

Hmm I always get complimented on my eyes. Oh and I'm a chick that knows her way around a woodshop. Some guys seem to go for that.

I also get free tickets to all sorts of theatre and other performance arts.

Lust4Life

01-15-2011, 06:55 AM

I give them money, but then again they are prostitutes.

But they love me long time, though they all seem to think that my name is johnny.

Robot Arm

01-15-2011, 10:51 AM

Hey, you and me both!Impudent little whelp! Look at that join date, September 2008. I've been killing threads here since you were on dial-up.

Kids today, I just don't know...

BigT

01-15-2011, 12:19 PM

Okay, I can cover why my dates have liked me. Usually it's because both they and I are very touchy feely. In once case, it was because I got a shy girl to talk. In another, I teased a girl about being on my bed.

But the most common is that I have a profile online, and some women are desperate enough to talk to the guy who says he's not really looking right now.

jjimm

01-15-2011, 12:30 PM

No idea. I'm not tall, I smoke like a chimney and drink like a thirsty fish.

But my latest beauty says she liked me the moment she met me, then waited 11 months for me to do something about it. I guess, though I'm no oil painting, I don't crack mirrors either. I'm smart, funny from time to time, have led an interesting life, am kind (when not depressed), am a good cook, play guitar and sing, and have a great speaking voice. Some people have described me as 'charismatic'. And a former lover said: 'you are so good with your tongue'. I presume she meant I'm charming. ;)