February mini-rants thread...

[kaylasdad99]

NOW WITH 75% 95% 100% ohpleaseohplease LESS KVETCHING ABOUT PUBLIC BREASTFEEDING

Food packaging industry: Goddammit, STOP FUCKING PRETENDING that you can "hold the line" on your prices. BACON is supposed to be packaged by the pound, not 12 ounces!

Mayonnaise is supposed to be packaged in QUART jars, not 30 ounces!

Ice Cream is supposed to come in a ONE HALF GALLON size; and it's not supposed to drop down to 56 ounces, and subsequently to 48 ounces!

We (the grocery-buying public) fucking need a way to know about these decisions and the individuals who are making them! Otherwise, how will we know which gates to storm?

[Ferret Herder]

Dear driver: It is really, really hard to mistake the railroad tracks for a road and turn onto them. Really. Even when there's snow, you can still see the multiple sets of tracks there. The last person who turned onto the tracks around that area and got stuck was seriously drunk. Were you drunk, texting, or blindly following your GPS? Either way, thanks so much for making a long post-blizzard commute home even longer.

[kambuckta]

Dear Bureau of Meteorology:

I love your work, really I do. I like being able to see what's happening across this vast country with a single mouseclick. I love watching the radar predicting the welcome rains.

So I was disappointed to see yesterday that, although there was a severe thunderstorm warning in my state, it didn't actually extend to where I live. The warning boundaries were a good 100km to my west....right up until FIVE FUCKING MINUTES before the worst storm I've ever seen came belting through.

Thanks fer' nothing. :rolleyes:

[kaylasdad99]

Dopers who want to post about things that are being done with discretion: It's discreet, not discrete.

"Discrete" means that you have more than one of something, and it's easy to keep those somethings separate from one another.

[Alice The Goon]

Dear Weather:

Fuck you for being so cold!! We do not suffer through June, July, and August just to turn around and suffer right now- 36 DURING THE DAY??! Have you lost your mind?! Now get back to the 60's, pronto!!

[Pullet]

While I wish the people I know nothing but the best and while I do appreciate that my own position is far from desperate and I am grateful for all the help I have had, I am damned tired of struggling to stay afloat financially.

It seems like all of my peers came through school with less debt than me, despite me working several part-time jobs through school when many of them did not.

Now, all of them are stable enough to start families and buy houses and enjoy themselves on vacations and otherwise continue to be successful.

If I continue to work 50-60 hours a week through this year, I may be close enough to reducing some of the $3000 I pay every month in credit card debt that I can start to focus on the $1200 I need to pay on student loans but haven't been.

I should have just got some random undergrad degree, found a job as a cog in a company and been happy.

[curlcoat]

NOW WITH 75% 95% 100% ohpleaseohplease LESS KVETCHING ABOUT PUBLIC BREASTFEEDING


You probably shouldn't have even mentioned it... :D

[kaylasdad99]

Counterintuitive as it may sound, curlcoat, I like you, and I'm just going to trust that if there is a derailment in that direction, you won't be implicated in initiating it. :)

[Autolycus]

Dear girlfriend,

I love you. I really do. You are over 9000 times awesome sauce. But, what happened the other day was more than a bit annoying. We had fabulous sex and took a nice snuggly nap for half an hour. No complaints there. Far from it. Then, when you woke up, we both commented on our post-coital hunger. You offered to cook dinner. Wow! I thought that was so romantic and awesome. You told me I could sleep and you'd wake me up when it was ready. I remember thanking you and commenting on how awesome and romantic you are.

Little did I know I had committed the little known fourth classical blunder: unquestioningly accepting something a lover says at face value. I woke up while you were in mid-preparation and, with a big hug, asked how it was going. Stormy silence. Frowny black clouds and dagger vibes filled the kitchen. I tried gently probing you for info onto what grievous sin I had committed, but for the next 20 minutes it was nothing but awkward tension. With my amazing powers of intuition, I knew it had something to do with dinner and your cooking of. I offered for us to go out to eat, to Italian, but you said it was 'too late.'

Finally, you pounced. 'You forgot we were supposed to go to Italian today.' Actually I had not forgotten... I foolishly assumed you changed your mind and wanted to cook for me all sexy-like. You apparently did not believe this. 'You ALWAYS keep your promises to other people and NEVER to me.' Ouch! Critical Hit! Fortunately I managed to keep my cool. As hugs and sweet apologies were rebuffed, I just went into the other room, a bit sullen.

After twenty minutes of silent dinner, which I pointed out was super scrumptious, you asked me why I was so quiet. Me? ME?! Uuurrgggh... deep breath. I said I didn't want to make you even more angry by talking. I said I was sorry for everything I did and we could go to Italian tomorrow and I was afraid of your wrath and omg puppy eyes. Apparently this flipped some switch deep in the depths of your amygdala as your formerly golem-esque demeanor reverted to your usual angelic self. Tears, apologies, and hugs all around. Life was good again.

I guess my point is.. to the extent that I have a point.... please don't ambush me after sex like that ever again! I realize I wasn't entirely innocent either and my writing style in this post probably makes me sound like a total asshole, but god damn...

[Chimera]

Dopers who want to post about things that are being done with discretion: It's discreet, not discrete.

"Discrete" means that you have more than one of something, and it's easy to keep those somethings separate from one another.

Discrete, datcrete, duhudercrete.

[Typo Negative]

I do not want your credit card. I do not want your life insurance. Not this time, nor the last 50 times you have sent me forms in the mail. Forms that contain my complete address. Some of these forms are damned-near pre-filled out!

Please, for love of God, STOP!

The only thing these forms are good for is identity theft!

[LavenderBlue]

Hey cats,

That was the cable guy. That was not the evil cat killer who is going to drag into you into the snow and murder your little furry backsides. You had no cause to hide in the basement rafters for three hours and get completely covered in dirt. The white short hair is now the icky grey short hair. The long hair (who was bathed yesterday) is now the filthy bellied knot ball.

Ugh.

[Cat Whisperer]

Now what am I going to do if I get a bona fide breastfeeding rant? Huh? Ever think about that, Mr. ILikeToStartNewThreads?

[kaylasdad99]

I dunno. It could hinge on how big the ta-tas in question are. Might not be so "mini-."

[LavenderBlue]

My ta-tas have not been mini since 6th grade. Seventh grade was the most embarrasing year of my life. You really don't want to be 12 and a c cup.

[BlackKnight]

My floss keeps breaking. Right in the middle. No matter how long a piece I use, it will snap perfectly in the middle. Often, I am left with a piece of floss stuck between two teeth. The only remedy (and here you see the brilliant business idea behind self-breaking floss) is to use another piece of floss to dislodge the first and hope that it, too, does not break.

This is even with the GOOD floss, the stuff that costs over a dollar.

[kaylasdad99]

Have you considered flossing with fishing line?

[deb2world]

I dunno. It could hinge on how big the ta-tas in question are. Might not be so "mini-."

The best bumper sticker I saw recently was "save the tatas" over a pink ribbon.

Where have all the bumper stickers gone?

[deb2world]

My floss keeps breaking. Right in the middle. No matter how long a piece I use, it will snap perfectly in the middle. Often, I am left with a piece of floss stuck between two teeth. The only remedy (and here you see the brilliant business idea behind self-breaking floss) is to use another piece of floss to dislodge the first and hope that it, too, does not break.

This is even with the GOOD floss, the stuff that costs over a dollar.
Have you tried unwaxed floss? It molds better. (said the person who also has this problem).

[Alice The Goon]

I hate it when men do the following:


Him: Hey, let's (do whatever it is) next Saturday night. I'll come and pick you up and we will (do whatever it is). Can't wait to (do whatever it is) with you, next Saturday night.

Me: Okay, sounds good.


Then along about Thursday...


Me: So, did you still want to (do whatever it is) on Saturday night?

Him: Sorry, I can't. I've been working so much/am tired/am busy blah blah blah.

Basically, making it look like you asked him out and are now getting rejected.

Me: :confused::o:rolleyes: I was only asking because you mentioned it- I wasn't asking you out! :smack:

[Cat Whisperer]

I hate it when *anyone* does that - either we have plans, or we don't.

[Alice The Goon]

I hate it when *anyone* does that - either we have plans, or we don't.


True, true. I don't like flakes, unless they are frosted.

[CrazyCatLady]

I said I was sorry for everything I did and we could go to Italian tomorrow

You have a restaurant named Italian? That's awesome. What kind of food do they serve?





In related notes, I would like to point out to various locals that we have 2 restaurants that serve Mexican food and 3 that serve Chinese food. We do not, however, have a restaurant named "Mexican" or "Chinese" and it is thus impossible for us to "go to Mexican" for lunch. Thank you, that is all.

[Chimera]

I hate it when *anyone* does that - either we have plans, or we don't.

Hey, years ago I had this woman chase me with hints and suggestions for two months, then play coy when I took the bait. Finally we had a date set up for the Friday a couple of days before my birthday.

Fifteen minutes before I'm going to leave work, planning to go home, shower up and get ready, I get an e-mail - a fucking EMAIL, telling me "My brother asked me if I'd like to go flying with him, so I'm going, because that will be more fun." :eek: I kinda wonder what would have happened if I'd have already left work and didn't see that.

Then she wondered why I was all pissed off and was no longer interested in her. :rolleyes:

I freely admit that I'm socially retarded. Some people think they're social dynamos and they're really clueless flakes.

[Thudlow Boink]

Dear Weather:

Fuck you for being so cold!! We do not suffer through June, July, and August just to turn around and suffer right now- 36 DURING THE DAY??! Have you lost your mind?! Now get back to the 60's, pronto!!I hope you're not expecting any sympathy.

[Lady of the Lake]

I hate it when men do the following:


Oh, yeah, I hate that. I've a friend who is ready to throw in the dating towel because of men doing crap like that.

She also had a guy who fell off the radar and then suddenly sent an email out of the blue with 'I love you so much! I can't believe I had let you slip through my fingers! Let us rekindle our love' etc...

And then, mission apparently accomplished, he never responded to her by phone or email again.

My rant would be:
Friend (the same one above): stop blowing off our plans to go hang out with people you barely know, only to leave long voice mails about how horrible it all was late at night. Of course it was horrible! You don't know anyone there and you've ditched me for:
1) Bible study with ultra-fundies
2) A casual acquaintances house 'party' where you are coerced to buy candles or ridiculously priced clothing
3) Group events (at which you don't know anyone) except for the guy you're in love with and his girlfriend of two years. OF COURSE HE IS GOING TO HANG OUT WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND AND NOT YOU!

A blind ferret would know that it was going to suck!

[Shot From Guns]

It is really, really hard to mistake the railroad tracks for a road and turn onto them.

My WAG: It wasn't a mistake. Had second thoughts about suicide.

It seems like all of my peers came through school with less debt than me, despite me working several part-time jobs through school when many of them did not. [...] If I continue to work 50-60 hours a week through this year, I may be close enough to reducing some of the $3000 I pay every month in credit card debt

Well there's your problem. Most people manage to come through college without somehow managing to rack up enough credit card debt on top of their student loans that their bill is three grand a month.

I realize I wasn't entirely innocent either and my writing style in this post probably makes me sound like a total asshole, but god damn...

No, it sounds like your girlfriend was being a passive-aggressive bitch.

My floss keeps breaking. Right in the middle. No matter how long a piece I use, it will snap perfectly in the middle.

Serrations may be referred to as "teeth," but trust me on this: you really don't need to be flossing your bread knife.

I hope you're not expecting any sympathy.

Quite. "Oh nooooooooes, my weather is above freeeeeziiiiiiing. Won't someone please think of the children?!"

[Lady of the Lake]

Fifteen minutes before I'm going to leave work, planning to go home, shower up and get ready, I get an e-mail - a fucking EMAIL, telling me "My brother asked me if I'd like to go flying with him, so I'm going, because that will be more fun."

Wow, yeah, that takes a certain amount of self-absorbed douchebaggery.

[sandra_nz]

Dear immune system,

Work, damn you!

Love,
The rest of me.

[BetsQ]

My 4yo has strep. She's been home from daycare on and off for about three weeks with an upset stomach. No sore throat, no fever, just diagnosed today. Off to get some antibiotics and write off getting any work done today. Sigh.

[Carol the Impaler]

My ta-tas have not been mini since 6th grade. Seventh grade was the most embarrasing year of my life. You really don't want to be 12 and a c cup.

Preach it. You also don't want your eighth grade nickname to be "Sag" because by then you're easily a D.

[Waxwinged]

Dear book,

Yeah, I realize that we've been bed-fellows since last November, and occasional flirts for the past few years. Now PLEASE get the hell out of my head. I'm tired of thinking about you during 80% of my waking moments, and am pretty sure that hubby is not happy to talk about you with me on a daily basis. I'm also resentful towards you for stealing my time from artsing up things that might actually make some moneys.

With deep loathsome love,

Waxwinges

[Carol the Impaler]

Also, I am most likely going to have to move in July. My fabulous new pad has become a big pain in the ass. Six months in and:


it took three times out and two weeks to get a leak fixed that left a big puddle of water on the basement floor
the faucet in the bathroom sink broke; and the stopper; and the towel rack
despite my landlord's claim that he shovels snow, I've been out there four times already; I've spent over $100 on ice melt alone so I can get into my garage from my deeply sloped driveway
I'm paying for a garage that I frequently can't use because the snow/ice isn't cleared from the driveway
over a month of furnance hell
both drawers in the kitchen broken
closet door in the bathroom broken


Fuck. I hate moving. I love my neighborhood, but it's becoming less and less worth putting up with all the petty annoyances. Also, my landlord went to Barbados for a month and didn't have someone else set up to handle repair & maintenance requests. Seriously?

[Ferret Herder]

My WAG: It wasn't a mistake. Had second thoughts about suicide.
Oh, that's quite possible too, but from the ones that have happened around here, most of them seem to just walk onto the tracks for that, rather than stay in a car that might cushion the blow. And speaking as someone who's previously had major depression with fleeting moments of suicidal ideation, fortunately being too amotivated by the depression to do anything - that's a shitty move, to step in front of a train to die. I've seen a local short documentary on Metra train engineers who get insomnia, flashbacks, PTSD by being behind the controls of the train when it hits suicidal or inattentive people on the tracks, sometimes more than once in their career, and it takes an awful toll on them.

[Shot From Guns]

Yup. Some people are selfish assholes even in the way they kill themselves.

[Wile E]

Oh NOZ! Our precious snowflake saw "nice tits" on a candy heart and is scarred for life! Alert the networks! Warn other parents to hide their children from racy candy! There's no way they would ever see anything as bad as that in real life! What if her tits don't live up to that once they grow in? She'll end up with a body dysmorphic disorder! Our daughter will need counseling now! Won't someone think of the children?

We should sue.

[Cat Whisperer]

There was "nice tits" written on a candy heart? Part of me says, "Cool!" and part of me says, "Is that really necessary?" Unless, maybe, they were adult candy hearts, in which case how did Precious Snowflakes get their hands on them?

Frig, I'm tired today. I have a house to clean and groceries to get and laundry to do and a walk to take, but I have about, oh, zero energy.

[kaylasdad99]

I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO OKLAHOMA FOR FIVE WEEKS BEGINNING IN MARCH!

Frankly, I've had about enough of going to Oklahoma for the rest of my career. Couldn't you at least wait, and send me in the summer, when kayla is out of school?

Crap.

[Shot From Guns]

Frig, I'm tired today. I have a house to clean and groceries to get and laundry to do and a walk to take, but I have about, oh, zero energy.

"Clean all the things? :("

[Wile E]

There was "nice tits" written on a candy heart? Part of me says, "Cool!" and part of me says, "Is that really necessary?" Unless, maybe, they were adult candy hearts, in which case how did Precious Snowflakes get their hands on them?

Frig, I'm tired today. I have a house to clean and groceries to get and laundry to do and a walk to take, but I have about, oh, zero energy.

Well, the news blurred out the "its" but I figured that was the likely conclusion to "Nice T..." I'm guessing the company makes adult themed hearts and one of those managed to get into the "family friendly" bag. I just don't think it's news or panic-worthy and it invoked both.

[Alice The Goon]

Quite. "Oh nooooooooes, my weather is above freeeeeziiiiiiing. Won't someone please think of the children?!"


Ah, you're a cold, cold woman. We're not used to this here- pipes are broken, schools are closed- it's an emergency, lady! Have some compassion! Oh, wait, today it's in the 50's and tomorrow back to the 60's. Whew!

:D

[Shot From Guns]

Oh, wait, today it's in the 50's and tomorrow back to the 60's. Whew!

Burn in helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. :(

[Alice The Goon]

Burn in helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. :(


Yes, that's June.

[Cat Whisperer]

"Clean all the things? :("
God, I DO have to go the bank, too! Screw it, I'm watching Craig Ferguson and eating a pear.

(I've already cleaned two bathrooms, done a load of laundry, done the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, fed the varmints, and I have lunch in the oven.)

[Ferret Herder]

Yes, that's June.
Now I'm happy to live in Chicago again. :D

[Chimera]

Fucking Idiot Neighbors who can't cook.

We got rousted from my 200+ unit apartment building tonight for another fire alarm. All because some dumbass burns their food AGAIN. That's the third time in the two years I've lived here.

[Doctor]

Argh! It's started!!! I have pretty well avoided mentions of the dreaded February Hallmark Holiday (TM) for weeks! Now, things are creeping into the office and the girls are talking about flowers, etc, etc.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RUN!!!!!!!!!! VALENTINES DAY IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE THIS (FAKE) HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!

[Lynn Bodoni]

Our old house was broken into. Fortunately, the cops caught the would-be thieves, but now we have to fill out all the paperwork. And I have to try to prevent my husband from murdering those two lowlifes.

A neighbor saw the two guys in the act, and the police responded quickly. I'm thinking of taking the neighbor a bouquet of flowers and a couple of hundred bucks as a thank you.

[Chimera]

I have to try to prevent my husband from murdering those two lowlifes.

Tell him that if he does it now, he'll be caught and spend the rest of his life in prison. Best to wait a year or two.

(By which time he'll have cooled down or thought better of it)

[Lacunae Matata]

Oh, that's quite possible too, but from the ones that have happened around here, most of them seem to just walk onto the tracks for that, rather than stay in a car that might cushion the blow. And speaking as someone who's previously had major depression with fleeting moments of suicidal ideation, fortunately being too amotivated by the depression to do anything - that's a shitty move, to step in front of a train to die. I've seen a local short documentary on Metra train engineers who get insomnia, flashbacks, PTSD by being behind the controls of the train when it hits suicidal or inattentive people on the tracks, sometimes more than once in their career, and it takes an awful toll on them.

Not to mention the people on the "clean-up" crew. He doesn't describe many of the details of his job to me - mainly because he doesn't want me to freak out more than I do - but hubby has told me about a long-since night in Korea, when he was an MP, having to walk miles down a railroad track to find body parts. Twenty years later, that haunts him. BTW, I've also dealt with major depression/suicidal ideation, but my "ideation" always started with "how to contain the mess." (ODing in a bathtub would have been my ideal, thanks to the reasonably clean scene and relatively easy cleanup - but that's neither here nor there.)

Back to mini-rants: If you are checking into a hotel, and the clerk asks "do you prefer a smoking or a non-smoking room?" just answer the damned question. "It doesn't matter" is not helpful. If I were limited on rooms, I'd say something like "I have non-smoking doubles, but I've sold out of smoking doubles. Is that okay?" If I give you a choice, it's because I have options available. Just answer "I'd prefer non-smoking." Or "I'd rather have smoking, if you have it." Not "It doesn't matter." (Yeah, it does matter. Even at 2 am at a budget property, I'd rather you check into a room that will make you happiest. Saves me a lot of paperwork in the long run if you are happy with your room and don't send complaints to corporate. Or if you don't stink up a non-smoking room when I had smoking rooms available. :smack:)

[Morgenstern]

Dear Brother in Law.
Please stop asking everyone in the family for money.
I know you can't borrow it because your credit sucks.
I know you can't earn it because job interviews take place during the day and interfere with your sleep.
No. We won't send you any cigarettes either.
Yes, we do feel sorry for you.
No, your mom doesn't want you moving back in with her.
Why the F did you get a dog? You can't even feed yourself.

I think that pretty well covers it.

[jz78817]

managers who say things like this:

"How do you feel about going to Kansas City tonight?"

when they really mean:

"We need you to go to Kansas City right away."

asking me how I feel about something when how I feel about it has no relevance is irritating. At best.

and I know this is trite enough to the point that ranting about it is trite, but I will anyway:

Snowpocalypse, Snowmageddon, snowverkill... Bitch, it's winter! It snows like this practically every year!

[Cat Whisperer]

Tell him that if he does it now, he'll be caught and spend the rest of his life in prison. Best to wait a year or two.

(By which time he'll have cooled down or thought better of it)
Better yet, tell him to use a car to kill them - he won't even get jail time.

-----------

My husband's father is a city bus driver; he was told when he was hired that if he decided to become a light rail train operator, he could expect to kill someone at least once in his career.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Oh, he's still pissed off that someone broke his car windshield and took his radio a few years back. Waiting a year or so won't really let him cool down. Especially since he has to deal with various bits of aftermath again, and again, and again.

[amarinth]

Two years ago, I visited a doctor (several actually). They sent bills, I paid them. (Before anyone asks, on leaving the various offices, I would ask if I should pay now or later. Most of the offices wanted me to pay later because they had to work through things with my insurance.)

And then yesterday someone left a message on my machine, "Hi amarinth, you owe us $15 from January 2009, we're sending you to collections." Why do I owe them $15? Because unlike all of the other people that I owe, they did not send me a bill, so I did not psychically link to their computer, find out that I owed the money, figure out the amount owed, and forward them money. Two years, not a single request for money until this. Utter shit.

Of course, now I have to get this straightened out - so that a company that never billed me won't ruin my credit.

[curlcoat]

Back to mini-rants: If you are checking into a hotel, and the clerk asks "do you prefer a smoking or a non-smoking room?" just answer the damned question. "It doesn't matter" is not helpful. If I were limited on rooms, I'd say something like "I have non-smoking doubles, but I've sold out of smoking doubles. Is that okay?" If I give you a choice, it's because I have options available. Just answer "I'd prefer non-smoking." Or "I'd rather have smoking, if you have it." Not "It doesn't matter." (Yeah, it does matter. Even at 2 am at a budget property, I'd rather you check into a room that will make you happiest. Saves me a lot of paperwork in the long run if you are happy with your room and don't send complaints to corporate. Or if you don't stink up a non-smoking room when I had smoking rooms available. :smack:)

Uh oh - I do this, because for me it really doesn't matter! I don't smoke but my husband does, so when I'm on the road by myself, I can either go in either room, since the smell of smoke doesn't bother me. I almost always follow it up with "...as long as it's downstairs" - does that help?

[Jenaroph]

Close the sauna door, you little dipshit.

Yes, OMGLOL it's hot in here. It's supposed to be hot in here. And it was, until you stood there with the door wide open with your giggly friends deciding whether or not to come in. Yes, you're under 18 and the rec center policy is that you're not allowed. Personally, I don't care; I'm not going to rat on you as long as you behave. Quit debating amongst yourselves and pay attention to the people in here who told you three times "Get in or get out; shut the goddamn door." And while you're at it, stop hogging all the toilet stalls to change your clothes. It should also go without saying that shrieking in the locker room is entirely unnecessary and uncalled for, but there is ample evidence some of you aren't aware of that. I have a precious amount of hearing left and I'd like to keep it for as long as I can.

God I hate large groups of tweenage girls.

[The Real Regency Elf]

To the self-entitled, whey-faced, hard-headed, neurotic cocker-spaniel-in-a-human-costume I have to share a class with:

OK, snapping at me when I tried to clarify something in the book is one thing. I overstepped my bounds and distracted you from what the instructor was saying. You're struggling with the material and feeling kind of insecure, so your initial reaction was understandable, albeit a tad over the top, IMHO. But hey, you certainly got your point across.

But after sincerely telling you at least twice that I was very sorry, you kept right on haranguing me while openly insinuating that I'm an arrogant jerkoff. I don't know what emotionally bereft shithole you came from where it's OK to talk to people like that, but where I'm from, the only appropriate response to "I apologize; it certainly wasn't my intention to upset you" is something along the lines of "Accepted. Let's move on." Jabbering loudly on and on and fucking ON about my faux pas instantly lost you every bit of goodwill that I ever managed to muster for you. Remember last week how I took all that time to sit with you - at YOUR request - and really drill down into the material so you could wrap your brain around the day's lesson? Yeah, that's never going to happen again. You're on your own, dipshit. And judging from the slantwise looks the rest of the class was cutting you after today's little tantrum, don't count on a lot of help from them, either. Enjoy slogging through the rest of the semester!

[Chimera]

Remember last week how I took all that time to sit with you - at YOUR request - and really drill down into the material so you could wrap your brain around the day's lesson? Yeah, that's never going to happen again. You're on your own, dipshit. And judging from the slantwise looks the rest of the class was cutting you after today's little tantrum, don't count on a lot of help from them, either. Enjoy slogging through the rest of the semester!

One of my co-workers had a pattern of being curt and sometimes hostile in our chat room under certain circumstances, like when he didn't understand how your answer actually resolved his issue, or when I pointed him at a tech article with a title that didn't immediately scream out "this is for your issue" but really was. I resolved it rather simply, by replying on several occasions;

"Unpleasantness now gets you less help in the future"

And then purposely ignoring any and all questions from HIM, but answering everyone elses questions. When I'm probably the top guy for answering other people's questions in the chat room.

Took him a while, but he figured it out.

So remember that line. He probably hasn't made the connection.

[Max the Immortal]

New blood is all well and good, but the recent wave of zombie threads dredged up by newbies is starting to piss me off.

[Lacunae Matata]

Uh oh - I do this, because for me it really doesn't matter! I don't smoke but my husband does, so when I'm on the road by myself, I can either go in either room, since the smell of smoke doesn't bother me. I almost always follow it up with "...as long as it's downstairs" - does that help?

Okay, fair enough. Really, though, if you just say "I'd rather have non-smoking, but smoking is fine if that's what you have," my life will be easier. (And everything is downstairs at our property. I have no issue with someone phoning in a reservation and asking for a ground floor room, but it's kind of annoying when walk-ins drive up to our very obviously single story property and ask for a first floor room. Or better, a second-floor room.)

[Cat Whisperer]

I'd rather have a real non-smoking room, not a smoking room that had Febreze sprayed in it. :)

[Jenaroph]

To the guy in the monster truck behind me this evening:

We just had a surprise snowstorm of about 5 inches, in case you hadn't noticed. The plows haven't gone through yet. The roads are a mess of parallel tire tracks; you can't see where the curb is, let alone the painted lines. I can only assume you saw me fishtailing through that left turn we just made. The roads are bad, see? Bad. Not impassable if you go slower than the speed limit, but your brakes aren't going to stop you in nearly the distance they do on dry pavement. This goes for large monster trucks as much as it does for sedans.

Please back off so I can at least see your front bumper in my rearview mirror, 'k? Also, turn your highbeams off. They're not helping. Also, eat a bag of dicks. Have a nice day.

[Lacunae Matata]

I'd rather have a real non-smoking room, not a smoking room that had Febreze sprayed in it. :)

No problem! We use an ozone machine to "de-smoke-ify" our non-smoking rooms if some moron has smoked in it. (And we charge that moron $150 MINIMUM for the cleaning fee - per the agreement they signed at check-in, because the room has to stay off-market for a bit, and we incur extra cleaning costs - minimum of 2 hours closed for the ozone machine, stripping out and cleaning all linens, curtains, etc. And often, the same treatment for adjacent rooms, since the smell can permeate. There's a reason that our smoking rooms are isolated in a separate building from our nons! Just ask for a damned smoking room, for pity's sake! It costs the same as the non-smoking room!)

And Jenaroph, I drive a 4wd truck about half the time, and I still hate most of the morons who drive them. Four-wheel-drive does not equal "my truck can do anything." Inertia being what it is, my truck won't stop as fast as your car or motorcycle, thanks to mass. And that headlights in the rearview mirror is highly, highly annoying! (Even in my mini-van, I hate being followed by a truck at night, because I will go nearly blind after a few minutes. At Christmas, hubby and I caravanned to his parents' house in the truck and the van. After just a few minutes, I had to telephone him and tell him to pass me, because I couldn't see, even though he had the low-beams on.)

[Pullet]

Well there's your problem. Most people manage to come through college without somehow managing to rack up enough credit card debt on top of their student loans that their bill is three grand a month.


Most people don't have as much college as I have.

Rethought it: Credit cards + payments on our single car = roughly $2000/month now.

Better than the last time I did that calculation.

[Chimera]

Apparently there is some sort of big football game today.

I honestly do not give a fuck.

[Steophan]

Apparently there is some sort of big football game today. I honestly do not give a fuck.
Chealsea-Liverpool? Don't worry, it was kinda dull.

[LavenderBlue]

Hey morons on another message board,

Stop with the stockpiling shit, you dumb fucks. The world is not going to come to an end in 2012 because Nostradamus and the Aztecs said so. The riots in Egypt are not going to push up the price of shampoo to a hundred bucks a bottle. Wall street may be evil but all you do when you buy sixteen hundred rolls of toilet paper is inflate the profits at Sam's Club. You don't need a few dozen loaves of wonder bread that will still taste like cotton and have no nutritional value five years from now. The five hundred dollars you spent extra on groceries would be far better invested in a 6% dividend paying AT&T stock or even a lousy federally insured CD.

More importantly stop buying the canned veggies, the crappy cheap apple juice that's nothing but sugar, the lousy garlic salt and eat some authentic food. Eat real garlic, good olive oil, cheese that isn't velveeta and fresh bananas. Try the fresh cilantro and the carembazola. Treat yourselves to a nice bottle of wine and leave the shitty cola on the shelves.

Good food spoils. Stocks and bonds don't. Good food is meant to be seasonal and delicious. Good food is not the shit you threw in a pot from a can at Aldi's. Get a financial education instead of trying to figure out how to reconfigure your basement to hold enough rotting food that your grandkids will still be cleaning it out.

I swear some people are too stupid to live.

[margin]

Dear Veterans' Administration:

As it has apparently escaped your notice, there are in fact women veterans these days who are in combat, in addition to suffering from things like military sexual trauma. Therefore, constantly deflecting criticism with, "But we don't need womens' groups!" is not appropriate. As you are located across the road from an Army base full of female combat veterans and have been located there since my grandfather fought in WWI, your surprise at the existence of women veterans is getting stale. Putting me, first, in a therapy group full of rapists and wife beaters and sexual harassers, and then putting me in another group full of housewives while admonishing me to be 'tactful' about the bloody side of war is not ethical on any planet. Fighting insurgents was easier and I think a good case can be made that they're more honest about their mission in life. What's yours? Because helping veterans is apparently not what you're going for.

Also, if you had bothered to read my medical records, you would know that penicillin was a bad choice. I guess that constitutes proof that reading medical records is not a priority.

Dear former shrink of mine: in letting four major medications lapse while you played your little battle of wills with me, you violated major medical ethics for the last time as my doctor. You are now fired and the state medical board will be hearing about this. Any doctor who gave a damn about their patient would not have done this. I hope that if I have anything to do with it that you will not be a doctor much longer.

Finally, VA pharmacist, stop fucking saying you're sorry for not putting the pain medication for my abscessed tooth in the bag when it's clear that you 're not going to fix the problem. "Sorry" without making it right is worse than useless. It's clear you want to make yourself feel better, not right any wrongs committed by your staff---especially after they gave me that patronizing little lecture about how careful and cautious and professional they were with the meds. They were so careful they didn't give them to me. I once broke my leg in three spots and hobbled around for an hour till my First. Sgt. ordered me to the ER. That did not hurt as bad as that tooth. Let me cordially wish you an unmedicated dental injury, to be treated at the nearest VA emergency room.

[curlcoat]

Okay, fair enough. Really, though, if you just say "I'd rather have non-smoking, but smoking is fine if that's what you have," my life will be easier. (And everything is downstairs at our property. I have no issue with someone phoning in a reservation and asking for a ground floor room, but it's kind of annoying when walk-ins drive up to our very obviously single story property and ask for a first floor room. Or better, a second-floor room.)

Heh, I have managed to not ask for a downstairs room at an all downstairs motel yet. On the other thing, since I really don't care what sort of room I get as long as I don't have to climb stairs, I thought I was being nice to the clerk by letting them put me in whatever room was easiest for them. Didn't realize you get so many jerks complaining about their room!

[BigT]

An online show I like has suddenly decided to require payment. I think this is douchey. It's something they planned to do for a while, but didn't tell anyone. And it's retroactive: meaning that I can't even view shows that previously were free.

If I'd known from the get go, I wouldn't have gotten so invested. If they'd even given us a bit of time, or at least offered a free trial for their new system, I'd be okay.

You made a big deal about wanting to get in on Internet TV, and you can't actually conform to usual boundaries of that medium. The show is so cheap that one commercial would have paid for it. Google ads would have probably given them a profit (even with the millions of people who adblock). You really just did this to fuck your audience. So fuck you.

I note with shadenfreude that their official forum is now full of spam. I mean, pages and pages of it. If they can't even be bothered to maintain their own site, I'd guess that the previous 10,000 viewers aren't sticking around and giving them any money.

[Nava]

Okay, fair enough. Really, though, if you just say "I'd rather have non-smoking, but smoking is fine if that's what you have," my life will be easier. (And everything is downstairs at our property. I have no issue with someone phoning in a reservation and asking for a ground floor room, but it's kind of annoying when walk-ins drive up to our very obviously single story property and ask for a first floor room. Or better, a second-floor room.)

But I like top-floor views! :( waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!


One of my coworkers once disuaded another from writing "room reeked of smoke" on the evaluation form of a hotel. You did ask for a smoking room, yes it smells of smoke! That's why those of us who ask for non-smoking prefer if those of you who smoke do ask for smoking, ok? Keeps our rooms smoke-smell-free! Thank you, now please don't complain that you got what you asked for.

[elfkin477]

Morons,
How about you clear the snow off your roof rather than cry about it collapsing on the news? Your roof can't take more than five feet of snow piled on it, it's not magical. And how about we stop building flat roofs on businesses and schools in the snowbelt, huh? And if that's too hard, then actually expect to need to shovel it off every few weeks. Jesus people, winter and high snow totals aren't new, so you should know how to deal with this.

[Tanaqui]

Fucking Idiot Neighbors who can't cook.

We got rousted from my 200+ unit apartment building tonight for another fire alarm. All because some dumbass burns their food AGAIN. That's the third time in the two years I've lived here.They evacuate the entire building because someone's smoke alarm goes off!? :confused:

The smoke alarm in my kitchen goes off roughly 30% of the time I cook. No, I'm not that bad of a cook--it's just that my apartment has NO ventilation. No above-stove fan, no fan of any kind, and a super-sensitive smoke alarm that is about 10 feet from the kitchen. The smoke alarm goes off when I fry sausages, if something gets on the burner, or if anything drips on to the bottom of the oven, or if my stir fry gets a little over enthusiastic. It regularly goes off when there is no visible smoke, or even, for that matter, anything burning at all.

If we had that kind of system, we would probably have to be evacuated on a daily basis. :eek:

[Chimera]

They evacuate the entire building because someone's smoke alarm goes off!? :confused:

It is caused by the morons who open a window and then open the hall door to air out the smoke. Drives some of it into the hall where it hits the building wide system, at which point every hall (3-4 levels, 4 wings) has BLASTING LOUD ALARMS and flashing lights going off.

Then they want everyone out until they figure out where it was in the building and deal with it, and that is after the fire department arrives, which took about 15 minutes this time, even though the station is 2 miles from here.

This time I walked around the outside of the building and then went back to my apartment because I didn't see any smoke or smell anything in my wing. But this time last year I had the misfortune (read: stupidity) to walk down toward the lobby with no keys, glasses or winter coat, and to be forced outside into 10 below temperatures without any of that (Can I at least get my coat? Chorus of "NO. Walk across the street to the building over there."). I walked around the side of the building to my wing, where there were no police or fire department people, arrived just as someone was walking out, and went back inside. That one was the only possible dangerous alarm, and it was a gas leak in a laundry room in a different wing on the opposite side of the building.

[Rysto]

They evacuate the entire building because someone's smoke alarm goes off!? :confused:

The smoke alarm in my kitchen goes off roughly 30% of the time I cook.

In my old university residence, the smoke detector regularly went off when you boiled water. I'll admit that I was a pretty crappy cook in first year but I'm pretty sure that I never managed to burn water.

[purplehorseshoe]

I've been away from the Dope for a while - what's been happening? What'd I miss? Did anyone die?

Computer @ home died as detailed in previous minirants thread. One helluva snow/ice/sleet storm came into the DFW area as detailed, well, everywhere. Even though every single school district, etc. was completely shut down for the entire week, our friggin' office decided we all need to come slip-sliding in. My job could be done remotely, with no adjustments on how I work or communicate, but noooooo, they won't let me work from home. I burned some vacation hours because, quite frankly, the roads were im-fucking-passable, and it's IMHO a crime to require us to come in. I did go in for a while on Thursday, after what was the single most harrowing half hour I've spent behind a wheel. The adrenaline coming out of my system felt like it would kill me.

Friday, our pipes at home burst, despite our very best efforts. I spent a big chunk of my "day off" collecting snow in old cat litter buckets so Mr. Horseshoe could melt it in the microwave so we could at least flush the toilets. That was ... fun.

Yesterday he plunked down a couple hundred (ouch!) to get a new <The Good Guys> computermachine </The Good Guys>. Plumber came out, after a couple of days of zero water, so life is slightly improved now. But for a while there, I had quite literally joined the ranks of the unwashed masses who don't avail themselves of the Dope!

[Cat Whisperer]

They evacuate the entire building because someone's smoke alarm goes off!? :confused:

The smoke alarm in my kitchen goes off roughly 30% of the time I cook. No, I'm not that bad of a cook--it's just that my apartment has NO ventilation. No above-stove fan, no fan of any kind, and a super-sensitive smoke alarm that is about 10 feet from the kitchen. The smoke alarm goes off when I fry sausages, if something gets on the burner, or if anything drips on to the bottom of the oven, or if my stir fry gets a little over enthusiastic. It regularly goes off when there is no visible smoke, or even, for that matter, anything burning at all.

If we had that kind of system, we would probably have to be evacuated on a daily basis. :eek:
Mine in my house does that, too; drives me (and the cats) crazy. I've actually brought my hearing protection earmuffs that I use for mowing the lawn into the kitchen so I can keep cooking while the stupid thing is going off. I should probably move it - it's about five feet from the stove right now - it goes off when I open the oven door when baking, for heaven's sake.

[Chefguy]

My Half & Half came out of the carton in chunks this morning. Expiration date: today! I guess they meant it. Had to drink my coffee with that non-fat crap my wife uses, and my coffee tasted like ass. Life is just so hard.

[Cat Whisperer]

A couple of weeks I grudgingly went to my husband's family photo shoot - I have zero interest in having any photos taken, and less than zero interest in having family shots taken, but it was a family thing, so I went and tried not to let anyone except my husband know how much I didn't want to be there, and smiled pretty for the camera. We learned this weekend that the photographer's memory stick didn't work, so we have to do it all over again. CRAP! Well, this time it will be at a convenient time for US, instead of the "race around and try to get almost completely across the city at rush hour to do something you don't want to do in the first place" that it was last time.

[Shot From Guns]

Argh! It's started!!! I have pretty well avoided mentions of the dreaded February Hallmark Holiday (TM) for weeks! [snip] I HATE THIS (FAKE) HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!

You know what I hate? People who water down the meaning of "Hallmark holiday" by applying it to every holiday they don't like. Newsflash, moron: just because you don't like what a holiday is celebrating doesn't mean that it was invented to make money.

St. Valentine's Day originated in the 6th century CE, and it's been associted with romatic love for over half a millennium. Hallmark Cards has been around since 1910. The math as to which preceeded which will be left as an exercise to the reader.

Which isn't to say I'm particularly fond of V-Day myself; let's just not get ridiculous.

I'm thinking of taking the neighbor a bouquet of flowers and a couple of hundred bucks as a thank you.

Yikes, good on them for catching it. I'd suggest that you reconsider the cash gift, though: personally, even being offered such would make me very uncomfortable. The flowers are a lovely touch, and some other gift might be easier for them to accept. Maybe a giftcard with an equivalent amount for a really good local restaurant?

I swear some people are too stupid to live.

Sounds like a self-correcting problem. One hopes.

[phouka]

Self:

Fucking grow up and stop making impulsive decisions. You probably would have come to the same decision after deliberate considerations, but you wouldn't have been blindsided by the consequences - a ticked off family member, budget reshuffling, and needing to find someone to cover the days off. Now, you're stressed out, and you don't GET to be stressed out, because it affects your health.

[Wile E]

I am so sick and tired of digital tv reception. One day perfectly fine, next day no change to antennas but it blacks out every 60 seconds for about 10-20 seconds. Usually always during some big reveal or joke punchline. Oh, the pictures great when it actually comes in but I'd rather have fuzzy analog as long as it was consistent. And why the hell does my dog or myself getting up and walking around change the reception, I'm short and she's even shorter we shouldn't be interfering with the antenna? I thought I'd finally figured it out, I daisy-chained two antennas together and it was working pretty good until the kittens decided they looked like fun toys and chewed on the ends so both antennas are shorter now.

I don't want to pay for cable right now, why can't I just have decent tv reception?

[Carol the Impaler]

Well, that's two hours of my life I won't get back. Just met with a staffing agency that was supposedly an interview but was, in reality, sitting across a desk from a guy while he filled out a form. Look, I can give you my employment history back to 1996 on my own, ok? Plus, I've worked with you before (in 1999 and 2003) and you claimed you had to consolidate all three of my files which took twenty minutes (and why couldn't you do that before I got there?) so why don't you already have this information?

You've reviewed my resume, yes? Then why am I telling you what I do at my job so you can type it into your form?

Yep, I made four mistakes on my typing test. Why are you and I looking at it together to find the mistakes? Can I correct them? Can I take the test again? Well, then why are we staring at it trying to find my mistakes? Which you never found! I did!

You know, I shaved this morning, staffing agency guy. I would appreciate it if you would do the same. I got dressed up. Could you at least wear a tie?

I don't know how to quantify my time. Do I spend 20% of my day answering phone calls? Sure, if you say so. Why are you staring at me from across your desk saying, "Well, we're only up to 60%. Can you think of anything else you do?"

Fix your keyboard before you call me in to your office. Your batteries are running low, dippity do. Oh, you think maybe you should try new batteries? Sounds like a good idea. Go get some batteries. I'll wait.

So now you have to go talk to one of your account managers to see if you have anything available? Wait wait wait.... Excellent, you have NOTHING available for me. Excellent! Well, a pleasure meeting you.

I guess.

[Shot From Guns]

@Wile E: Get a new antenna? Mine cost less than $10 (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000HKGK8Y/) (I don't really watch TV, so I just wanted something as basic as possible for if a friend was over) and it works great.

[Chimera]

You know, I shaved this morning, staffing agency guy.

I hope this means that you are a guy. :eek:

[SpazCat]

Goddammit asshole, why don't you just fax me or mail me a copy of the form instead of making me beg for the two tiny bits of information that I don't have. Oh, you gave me the monetary amounts? Great, that's 50% of what my tax forms need. The other two tiny bits of information (address and tax ID number) are the other 50%. I currently lack the ID number. I can't file my taxes for this year without that one bit of information. Not that they'd be processed until next week anyway, but I'd like to not be at the very end of the queue.

The only thing that makes this frustration worthwhile is the knowledge that his current mode of life is going to collapse around his ears in the next five to ten years in a spectacular way. Ah, the schadenfreude I will feel then.

[Carol the Impaler]

I hope this means that you are a guy. :eek:

Nope. I don't shave if I don't have to. If I shave it's because I want to otherwise send myself the message that This Day is Important.

[Wile E]

@Wile E: Get a new antenna? Mine cost less than $10 (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000HKGK8Y/) (I don't really watch TV, so I just wanted something as basic as possible for if a friend was over) and it works great.

I have two linked together. I had 3 but the more expensive one stopped working.

And my kitten keeps chewing on them!

[Cat Whisperer]

Carol, that is a spectacularly bad employment agency. I know they like us to jump through their hoops and take stupid tests (always the same ones, over and over and over) to meet their criteria, but I've rarely had ones that wasted my time in those particular ways.

[Shot From Guns]

I hope this means that you are a guy. :eek:

It threw me for a loop at first, too. I had to read it at least three times to figure out that she wasn't talking about the same kind of shaving.

Goddammit asshole,

I thought this was actually going to be a rant addressed to your anal sphincter. I was disappointed.

I have two linked together. I had 3 but the more expensive one stopped working.

Right. And I'm saying my one cheap antenna works better than your 2-3 other ones. I mean, it's $10: what have you got to lose?

[lindsaybluth]

"Sorry" without making it right is worse than useless. It's clear you want to make yourself feel better, not right any wrongs committed by your staff---<snip>

A-men.

I've been away from the Dope for a while - what's been happening? What'd I miss? Did anyone die?

To be completely honest, nothing new has happened. At least not that I've noticed :p It was a quiet week all around.

Yesterday he plunked down a couple hundred (ouch!) to get a new <The Good Guys> computermachine </The Good Guys>. Plumber came out, after a couple of days of zero water, so life is slightly improved now. But for a while there, I had quite literally joined the ranks of the unwashed masses who don't avail themselves of the Dope!

Glad you got a new computer! And, you know, have the modern convenience of running water.

We learned this weekend that the photographer's memory stick didn't work, so we have to do it all over again.

:eek: You have to be kidding me. You guys should get a refund and go with someone else. Then again.....that would mean you had to get involved....which would be terrible in itself...

I thought I had pink eye, so I didn't go anywhere today except to the doctor. Who helpfully tells me that no, I do not have pink eye and that I should see my optometrist (sayonara $15 copay!). I think I have a frickin corneal abrasion. That I probably gave myself in my sleep. Moron.

[purplehorseshoe]

... I think I have a frickin corneal abrasion. That I probably gave myself in my sleep. Moron.

If that's true, then this whole sleeping thing? You're doing it wrong.

[pohjonen]

Dear Gynecologist,

Maybe I didn't know that 12 years of non-hormone replaced post-menopausal abstinence would make me shrivel and atrophy back to prepubescent (Nay! Toddler!) dimensions, but you should have thought of that before you drug out that post-hole digger-sized speculum that you usually use on the 20-something prostitute gorillas and jacked me open far enough to insert a bowling ball. Holy Christ! Thanks to you I've been sufficiently traumatized that I will absolutely never, and I do mean NEVER crawl back into the stirrups while conscious again. Hope I never get a lady-cancer. Thanks a bunch! Asshole.

[jsgoddess]

Dear Gynecologist,

Maybe I didn't know that 12 years of non-hormone replaced post-menopausal abstinence would make me shrivel and atrophy back to prepubescent (Nay! Toddler!) dimensions, but you should have thought of that before you drug out that post-hole digger-sized speculum that you usually use on the 20-something prostitute gorillas and jacked me open far enough to insert a bowling ball. Holy Christ! Thanks to you I've been sufficiently traumatized that I will absolutely never, and I do mean NEVER crawl back into the stirrups while conscious again. Hope I never get a lady-cancer. Thanks a bunch! Asshole.

I think I've been sufficiently traumatized that I might cancel my appointment for March.

[Carol the Impaler]

Ah, yes. The joys of being jabbed and split by a too-large speculum. Thanks, doc.

[Carol the Impaler]

Carol, that is a spectacularly bad employment agency. I know they like us to jump through their hoops and take stupid tests (always the same ones, over and over and over) to meet their criteria, but I've rarely had ones that wasted my time in those particular ways.

I am so glad to hear you say that. (Stay with me.) It's been getting harder to keep my chin up (passed over cuz over qualified then passed over cuz not qualified enough, etc.) and this morning left me feeling defeated. I'm glad to know that it's not me.

Went out and drove for a few hours. Came back home to a voicemail about a resume I submitted yesterday. So, let's fire up the engines again, Carol!

[kaylasdad99]

Good luck, Carol the Impaler.

[Carol the Impaler]

Carol, that is a spectacularly bad employment agency. I know they like us to jump through their hoops and take stupid tests (always the same ones, over and over and over) to meet their criteria, but I've rarely had ones that wasted my time in those particular ways.

Forgot to add re: those tests... I missed questions like cutting and pasting text. You know why? Because I use right click to cut and paste and the only acceptable answer is to go to the Edit menu.... cut.... Edit menu.... paaaaaaaste. Use a keyboard short cut? Wrong! Use an icon? Wrong!

[Cat Whisperer]

Ah, yes. The joys of being jabbed and split by a too-large speculum. Thanks, doc.
Nice username/post combo. :D

This is truly mini, but dammit, when I go to your website for a non-critical question, is it too much to ask that you have an email address so I can just fire off my question, instead of all 1-800 numbers? I know damned well that all your 1-800 numbers will go to an office in Ontario, which is two hours ahead of me, so I have to make special efforts to call tomorrow (or actually Friday, because I'll be at work during your office hours for the next three days) instead of already having the email sent and the matter taken care of. Jerks.

ETA: And upon more digging on the site, I did find a way to contact them by email! It was just my foolish expectation that it would be on the CONTACT US page. What was I thinking?

[Carol the Impaler]

Good luck, Carol the Impaler.

Thank you. Here, have a beer.

[Carol the Impaler]

Dear Veterans' Administration:

As it has apparently escaped your notice, there are in fact women veterans these days who are in combat, in addition to suffering from things like military sexual trauma. Therefore, constantly deflecting criticism with, "But we don't need womens' groups!" is not appropriate. As you are located across the road from an Army base full of female combat veterans and have been located there since my grandfather fought in WWI, your surprise at the existence of women veterans is getting stale. Putting me, first, in a therapy group full of rapists and wife beaters and sexual harassers, and then putting me in another group full of housewives while admonishing me to be 'tactful' about the bloody side of war is not ethical on any planet. Fighting insurgents was easier and I think a good case can be made that they're more honest about their mission in life. What's yours? Because helping veterans is apparently not what you're going for.

Also, if you had bothered to read my medical records, you would know that penicillin was a bad choice. I guess that constitutes proof that reading medical records is not a priority.

Dear former shrink of mine: in letting four major medications lapse while you played your little battle of wills with me, you violated major medical ethics for the last time as my doctor. You are now fired and the state medical board will be hearing about this. Any doctor who gave a damn about their patient would not have done this. I hope that if I have anything to do with it that you will not be a doctor much longer.

Finally, VA pharmacist, stop fucking saying you're sorry for not putting the pain medication for my abscessed tooth in the bag when it's clear that you 're not going to fix the problem. "Sorry" without making it right is worse than useless. It's clear you want to make yourself feel better, not right any wrongs committed by your staff---especially after they gave me that patronizing little lecture about how careful and cautious and professional they were with the meds. They were so careful they didn't give them to me. I once broke my leg in three spots and hobbled around for an hour till my First. Sgt. ordered me to the ER. That did not hurt as bad as that tooth. Let me cordially wish you an unmedicated dental injury, to be treated at the nearest VA emergency room.

This is a travesty, margin.

[kaylasdad99]

What kind of beer?

Not to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything, but I need to know whether I should put this straw away...

[Carol the Impaler]

I got yer Mexicans and yer Czechs.

[Cat Whisperer]

I'd go root for that guy.

[whereismymind]

Dear Brother in Law.
Please stop asking everyone in the family for money.
I know you can't borrow it because your credit sucks.
I know you can't earn it because job interviews take place during the day and interfere with your sleep.
No. We won't send you any cigarettes either.
Yes, we do feel sorry for you.
No, your mom doesn't want you moving back in with her.
Why the F did you get a dog? You can't even feed yourself.

I think that pretty well covers it.

hahahah I love it. WE need to talk.....:p

[Little Bird]

Most people don't have as much college as I have.

Rethought it: Credit cards + payments on our single car = roughly $2000/month now.

Better than the last time I did that calculation.

Yanno, I just talked to the bank and got my credit card debt combined with my car loan and saved me about 25% per month. It's worth a shot!

[lindsaybluth]

If that's true, then this whole sleeping thing? You're doing it wrong.

I know! There's a picture of me from high school where I fell asleep on the bus to an away meet; my right eye is slightly open. That's how I sleep! So it's not unreasonable that this happened at some point.

[Chef Troy]

I am TRYING to lose weight. Part of my approach is working out, which is helping, as far as I can tell. At least it WAS working until my treadmill died about two weeks ago.

Okay, fine, I'll go to the YMCA. After all, I'm paying all that money every month. And THAT worked, until we had a solid week of ice and snow (rare here in Dallas) last week. The Y is closed, and besides, the damned kids are home from school ALL WEEK LONG.

So I remembered we'd bought Wii Active Personal Trainer like a YEAR ago, and I'd never used it because I had better options. So I busted it out, set up a profile, and started working out.

Twenty minutes later I seriously thought I was going to throw up -- WHAT a workout!

Only it's now two DAYS later and my legs and glutes are so sore that every time I either stand or sit, I want to cry. One super-hard workout followed by days of being sidelined by aching misery is not what I'm looking for here, Wii Active!

And worst of all, I couldn't give my avatar a goatee, so it just doesn't LOOK like me. Hrmph.

[Chimera]

There's this place called OUTSIDE. You can walk there. Any distance you want.

I swear.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Actually, this past week, it was dangerous to walk outside. We had a lot of sleet and ice, and then snow on top of it. That's a damned slippery situation, and we don't have the ability to remove this stuff. Plus nobody knows how to drive on it. So outside was pretty dangerous.

[kaylasdad99]

And worst of all, I couldn't give my avatar a goatee, so it just doesn't LOOK like me. Hrmph.Have you considered shaving?

[Nava]

Forgot to add re: those tests... I missed questions like cutting and pasting text. You know why? Because I use right click to cut and paste and the only acceptable answer is to go to the Edit menu.... cut.... Edit menu.... paaaaaaaste. Use a keyboard short cut? Wrong! Use an icon? Wrong!

Oh for Christ's sake...

that's one of the things I hate about these Fabulous Manuals with Tests Included we're supposed to write: there is no way to make several possible answers acceptable, and if a field is "free value" the test requires the testee to type

eggg-zactly

what the example says in order to accept it. I'm sure it's all very... pedagogic. But it's shite at teaching.

[Lacunae Matata]

Dammit, I'm pretty sure I broke my foot! Dropped a 24-oz. bottle of soda on top of it, and I'm about 99% sure that it broke two or more of the small bones at the top of my instep. And I won't know before tomorrow whether it is broken, because I don't have TIME to get x-rays today. Gotta work until 3, then take the Girl Child across town for the county spelling bee. Hopefully, an ace bandage, ibuprofen, and a lidocaine patch will get me through the day!

[Cat Whisperer]

Dammit, I'm pretty sure I broke my foot! Dropped a 24-oz. bottle of soda on top of it, and I'm about 99% sure that it broke two or more of the small bones at the top of my instep. And I won't know before tomorrow whether it is broken, because I don't have TIME to get x-rays today. Gotta work until 3, then take the Girl Child across town for the county spelling bee. Hopefully, an ace bandage, ibuprofen, and a lidocaine patch will get me through the day!
That sounds like one lidocaine patch more than what you'd get at emergency for a broken foot. When I broke a small bone in my foot, they told me that the foot is actually very stable, so you're not doing too badly there. I mean, except for the pain of a broken foot. :)

[Lynn Bodoni]

I have to get a mammogram and an ECG today. I do NOT want to do it. I don't care how nice the technician is, all of them seem to want to flatten my tits to paper thinness.

[purplehorseshoe]

I haven't had to go through that special hell (yet) Lynn, but that description was ... evocative? Is that the word I'm searching for? Anyway, I cringed and reflexively crossed my arms while reading it.


Putting this here instead of the "workplace griping" thread since that seems to have devolved a bit into something about public vs private sector and govt. workers and blahblah:

Who in blazes spells out "facsimile" in their email signatures where they include all their contact info (main phone, direct phone, cell, email, carrier pigeon ID number...) instead of just saying "fax" like a normal human being?!?

The people I work with, that's who.

Dinosaurs! It's a fax, people. Fax.

Do you also strap on a brassiere each morning?

[purplehorseshoe]

Oh, now that's a chuckle and a half.

As mentioned above, the DFW area got one helluva ice'n'snow storm last week, one that pretty much brought the city to a standstill for a couple of days. Yeah, yeah, Northerners are rolling their eyes at us. But it was close to half a foot of snow on top of frozen-slick sleet and we just don't have the infrastructure to deal with it.

So they're forecasting more of the same to blow in tomorrow.

My ever-so-lovely grandboss just walked through and told us that our CEO was "annoyed" at how much the office had to be closed last week, and that we should anticipate not even having a delayed (10am) opening. Annoyed. The asshole didn't even show up himself, but he wants all of us to risk our necks? If my car gets totalled, will he buy me a new one? (Hell, if I get in an accident I can't get to work anyway so that kinda just goes in a circle.) My health insurance is not good enough for me to risk being hospitalized just so I can do the same mundane shit work I do every day.

You could practically hear the morale tanking as she walked through talking to us.

I have a family to provide for, and vacation days. You may all kindly eat a bowl of dick if you think I'm re-doing the Ride Of Terror I endured last week the one day I drove in.

[kaylasdad99]

Does DFW have any kind of a mass transit system worth speaking of?

[Thudlow Boink]

"If they're calling when I'm in the shower, it must be important."

I pit robo-calling telemarketers, of course, but mostly myself for being dumb enough to get out of the shower to run answer the phone.

[purplehorseshoe]

Does DFW have any kind of a mass transit system worth speaking of?

Well, it completely shut down during last week's storms, so, no. Also, not on the route between my house and my office, so, no. Also, in general, compared to places like NYC or Boston or London? Oh, hells to the no.

Sprawl. We has it.

[kushiel]

I don't have enough ANGRY to fuel this rant because I'm too fucking tired but there's nowhere in MPSIMS to put it.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. The past month has just been one long fuckity fuck on my body. Got bronchitis, didn't get diagnosed for 3 weeks. Got antibiotics which gave me a yeast infection. Had my period which is its own circle of hell. Then I got a stomach bug which had me worshiping the porcelain throne for a day. Now that that's done, my body doesn't want to start back into its natural digestion process, so I have a stomachache. Also, my uterus has decided it's not done bleeding yet after a week of peace. And now I'm concerned that the yeast infection might have fucked me up enough to be the cause of period returning.

I just don't have it in me right now to deal with with my coworkers' fuckups and fixing them, since I'm just trying to make my body work normally again.

[Shot From Guns]

Use a keyboard short cut? Wrong! Use an icon? Wrong!

There are neither enough palms nor enough faces.

There's a picture of me from high school where I fell asleep on the bus to an away meet; my right eye is slightly open. That's how I sleep!

Oh my god, I thought I was the only person who slept with my eyes open! Everybody else makes fun of me for it.

Do you also strap on a brassiere each morning?

Personally, I strap on a brasserie. Mmmmn.

[purplehorseshoe]

Oh, man, I hate that day or two after the periodic mandatory password change.


tickatickatypetypetype

tickatickatypetypetype

tickatickatypetypetype

... what the hell? Oh, right.

tickatickatypetypetype

tickatickatypetypetype

... wait, wha? Oh, right.

tickatickatypetypetype

tickatickatypetypetype

[Projammer]

I have to get a mammogram and an ECG today. I do NOT want to do it. I don't care how nice the technician is, all of them seem to want to flatten my tits to paper thinness.Don't forget to do your pre-mammogram workout.

Slam your boobies in the refrigerator door ten or twelve times and then leave the door closed on them for three to five minutes to acclimate them to the cold. This actually works better with a chest freezer, but not everyone has access to one.

I have no doubt that in a museum in a millenia or so that mammogram machines will be displayed beside the iron maiden and thumbscrews as an invention of the Marqis de Sade.

[MissTake]

Kittens, please quit losing your baby teeth in my bed. It's kinda gross, and the tooth fairy doesn't stop by for kitty teeth. Also, quit with the batshit insane act. You had been doing so well, but we're back to the curtain climbing, jumping on the counters and cupboards, and now even climbing on the shower curtain. It's not fun to be half awake in the shower and have a cat land on you. It's even less fun when it happens to TheKid and I have to deal with her pissiness. I tell her to close the door, but that would make sense.

Who know Tuesday afternoon was the best time to take great-great grandma to the grocery store? They were everywhere, all moving slower than a snail on valium. Dithering over the pork chops. Pondering the complexities of milk. A bag of lettuce is a bag of lettuce, just put it in your cart and go. Three deep in front of the cat food, couldn't get around them. Thank heavens for self-check out. Usually, I am quite patient. I've been grocery shopping with my mom, and it can be a pain in the ass. But today? Not so much.

Yesterday I took the day off. Planned on sitting around in my jammies, sewing, watching movies. Instead, TheKid and I traded off time in the bathroom for a good four hours. Got some good reading done, at least.

[lindsaybluth]

Oh my god, I thought I was the only person who slept with my eyes open! Everybody else makes fun of me for it.

I suspect I look like the people who watch Two and a Half Men.

[SpazCat]

When one is reading the expiration date from one's credit card, one generally only needs to read out the month and the year. I don't give a flying fuck in a sex shop what day your card expires, the program only has spaces for the month and the year. Stop messing me up by giving me the day. It's not my fault you got the Overly Specific Card Option.

[Shot From Guns]

When someone says "March 18, 2013," you can't just ignore the "18"?

[Ferret Herder]

When someone says "March 18, 2013," you can't just ignore the "18"?
WAG: it probably goes something like -
Customer: "March"
SpazCat: *types 'm' and hits enter*
Customer: "18"
SpazCat: *types '18' and hits enter* (computer autofills as 2018)
Customer: "2013"
SpazCat: (thinks 'WTF?!') *fumbles to back up the cursor and erase the previous entry*

[SpazCat]

WAG: it probably goes something like -
Customer: "March"
SpazCat: *types 'm' and hits enter*
Customer: "18"
SpazCat: *types '18' and hits enter* (computer autofills as 2018)
Customer: "2013"
SpazCat: (thinks 'WTF?!') *fumbles to back up the cursor and erase the previous entry*

Pretty much, except it's all numbers so March would be 03.

[purplehorseshoe]

I suspect I look like the people who watch Two and a Half Men.

:confused:

I can't tell: are you making fun of people who watch Two and a Half Men? Do I ... do I need to slink off in shame now? :(


**********************************************

This is only going to be funny to Dopers who are way too invested in the various ongoing mini-rants threads (waves at ShotFromGuns) but: there's a can of Dr. Pepper in the breakroom freezer. Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen, place your bets. The top is juuuuuuust starting to bulge.

[Shot From Guns]

You know, I swear Two and a Half Men was funny at some point. Years ago, I saw an episode or two and it was hilarious. Then I tried watching it again, months or years later, and it was terrible.

(waves at ShotFromGuns)

:frenetic handwaving:

Also: Just drink the damn thing. When the person asks what happened to it, shrug and feign ignorance.

[Carol the Impaler]

Naw, go pour it out on your boss's front stoop. I hear Dr. Pepper makes marvelous impossible to see black ice.

Texas, BTW, gets no respect for how bad ice storms are down there. The ones I lived through really were like a one inch sheet of ice covering everything, including the interstate. Really fucking dangerous.

[curlcoat]

I think I've been sufficiently traumatized that I might cancel my appointment for March.

Me too! **shudder**

[Cat Whisperer]

<snip>

Who know Tuesday afternoon was the best time to take great-great grandma to the grocery store? They were everywhere, all moving slower than a snail on valium. Dithering over the pork chops. Pondering the complexities of milk. A bag of lettuce is a bag of lettuce, just put it in your cart and go. Three deep in front of the cat food, couldn't get around them. Thank heavens for self-check out. Usually, I am quite patient. I've been grocery shopping with my mom, and it can be a pain in the ass. But today? Not so much.<snip>
I'm going to guess 10 percent Tuesday ( the first Tuesday of each month) - we have that here and oh yes, it is full of seniors.

[lindsaybluth]

:confused:

I can't tell: are you making fun of people who watch Two and a Half Men? Do I ... do I need to slink off in shame now? :(

Lots of dopers hate it. Me, I'm indifferent. Though it was an opportunist joke, but no shame from me personally :p

This is only going to be funny to Dopers who are way too invested in the various ongoing mini-rants threads (waves at ShotFromGuns) but: there's a can of Dr. Pepper in the breakroom freezer. Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen, place your bets. The top is juuuuuuust starting to bulge.

Bahahaha excellent. Do you know whose it is? I suggest going around taking a "joke" poll to see what everyone's favorite soda is.

[Lacunae Matata]

That sounds like one lidocaine patch more than what you'd get at emergency for a broken foot. When I broke a small bone in my foot, they told me that the foot is actually very stable, so you're not doing too badly there. I mean, except for the pain of a broken foot. :)

Yeah, I guess that the silver lining is that my husband has seriously messed up knees, so we have all manner of stuff like that around the house. Lidocaine patches are the bomb diggity. I haven't sampled his fentanyl (sp?) patches, but I suspect I really don't need to!

Oh, and that spelling bee that precluded going for an x-ray tonight? I find it less-than-amusing that the official invitation (from the county educators' association) listed the date as "Monday, February 8, 2011." It's my own fault for not double checking, but when I received the invitation, I just plugged the date into my calendar, and paid no attention to the day of the week listed. I was far from happy when I rushed all the way across the county, to the school in the really sketchy part of town, only to discover that the county bee was last night. And the sobbing, disappointed 10-year-old broke my heart. (And? The winning word - spelled by the 8th-grader who won? "Brogan." The Girl Child spelled it instantly.) My kids get more than a little tired of me telling them that life isn't fair, and I let most things pass, but I'm going to raise holy hell about this one.

And it doesn't really help my attitude that our wasted trip across town was punctuated by a punk who decided to Draw. a. gun. on. us. when I sped up to get ahead of him when the lanes were narrowing - after he rode in my blind spot, right beside the truck, for about 4 blocks. (BTW, if your penis substitutes are a .32 and a Ford Ranger? You are a sad, sad little man. And I will happily run you off the road if you try to intimidate me with either. Especially if you try that shit when I have my two little girls in the truck...))

[Chef Troy]

There's this place called OUTSIDE. You can walk there. Any distance you want.

I swear. As I mentioned, the whole city was in the grip of a sheet of frictionless ice, topped by ankle-deep snow. I did go for a walk in it, but I most certainly could NOT get any kind of exercise under those conditions.

Smartass.

[Chef Troy]

Have you considered shaving? I did, the last time I had headshots made, and WOW is that ever not a good look for me.

[Lynn Bodoni]

My ever-so-lovely grandboss just walked through and told us that our CEO was "annoyed" at how much the office had to be closed last week, and that we should anticipate not even having a delayed (10am) opening. Annoyed. The asshole didn't even show up himself, but he wants all of us to risk our necks? If my car gets totalled, will he buy me a new one? (Hell, if I get in an accident I can't get to work anyway so that kinda just goes in a circle.) My health insurance is not good enough for me to risk being hospitalized just so I can do the same mundane shit work I do every day. Back when I worked at a convenience store, I risked my neck to get to work, did my damnedest to be the best worker there, rah rah rah. Then I got fired.

I found out that the owner was in the habit of firing most of his staff periodically, and starting with mostly new people, so he almost never gave out raises. One would think that he'd lose more money from having to constantly train new clerks, but this was his habit. I decided that I'd show as much loyalty to my employer as I was shown...that is, I wasn't going to risk my life for any job that wouldn't pay me an exceptional wage with exceptional benefits.

[2square4u]

As I mentioned, the whole city was in the grip of a sheet of frictionless ice, topped by ankle-deep snow. I did go for a walk in it, but I most certainly could NOT get any kind of exercise under those conditions.Hey, it's only when you have to wade through snow drifts that it really is possible to work up a sweat by just walking. Otherwise, it's just... walking. Not exercising.

Just sayin' :cool:

[Cat Whisperer]

Walking is exercising. I don't get where you're coming from that it isn't.

[Autolycus]

It's exercising but unless you're power-walking you are probably not going to get your heart rate pumpin' super-duper hard.

[jz78817]

another one, on bumper stickers:

"Without Trucking, America Stops!"

yeah, well with trucking we just get stuck going really slowly behind you. especially when you choose to pass another truck on a two-lane highway by going .0001 mph faster.

[otternell]

And it doesn't really help my attitude that our wasted trip across town was punctuated by a punk who decided to Draw. a. gun. on. us. when I sped up to get ahead of him when the lanes were narrowing - after he rode in my blind spot, right beside the truck, for about 4 blocks. (BTW, if your penis substitutes are a .32 and a Ford Ranger? You are a sad, sad little man. And I will happily run you off the road if you try to intimidate me with either. Especially if you try that shit when I have my two little girls in the truck...))

WTF??!! (bolding mine) Did you call authorities on that fuckwad?

[kaylasdad99]

I think it's against the law to talk on a cellphone while you're driving...

[lindsaybluth]

Lacunae, that is CRAZY. Glad you and the little ones are okay. Jesus. Did you feel comfortable that he was behind you after that?

[Shot From Guns]

One would think that he'd lose more money from having to constantly train new clerks

Hell with training--you'd think he'd lose more money from unemployment payments.

I think it's against the law to talk on a cellphone while you're driving...

1.) Children can operate cell phones.

2.) It is possible to pull the car over while driving.

3.) I don't think the cops are going to complain about you calling while driving if you're doing it to report that your life is being threatened.

[kaylasdad99]

Have a cookie, SFG. You evidently need something to kickstart your sense of the absurd.

[Lacunae Matata]

There wasn't a good place to pull over, and my phone was kind of trapped underneath me in my coat pocket, so I couldn't call very well (or let my daughter call.) Fortunately, I was able to sort of force the other guy up on the curb, and get to a much more well-lighted area to stop and call the police. Even then, I couldn't give much more information than "white Ford Ranger pickup," so I don't expect any real action - I guess it was just a road rage incident, because the guy was upset that I passed him? Anyway, I did take a pretty circuitous route home, so that I could make sure he wasn't behind me...

[Shot From Guns]

Whoosh. :smack: Unfortunately, there are plenty of people who would have said what you did with a perfectly straight face and meant it.

I'll take that cookie, though. Stabbity mood today.

[kaylasdad99]

Don't worry about it. PROTIP though, when it comes to my posts an ellipses at the end usually means I'm being ironic or playful.

As for the cookie, it's in the refrigerator in the break room, hidden inside a bag with your supervisor's name on it, along with the words DO NOT TAKE in big red letters, and pictures of skulls and daggers. Don't worry about that; it's just to make sure the cookie is there when you get to it.

...

[Shot From Guns]

Joke's on you: I'd have to drive for about 340 miles to reach my manager's lunchroom.

[kaylasdad99]

Oops, my bad.

It could turn out to be stale. Sorry.

[GargoyleWB]

Forgot to add re: those tests... I missed questions like cutting and pasting text. You know why? Because I use right click to cut and paste and the only acceptable answer is to go to the Edit menu.... cut.... Edit menu.... paaaaaaaste. Use a keyboard short cut? Wrong! Use an icon? Wrong!

Ugh, I've suffered through those. I tend to "pan" left to right across the menu bars and also always customize my toolbars. You don't instantly know the menu location of font color for the default setting of Word 2000? Wrong! Use ctrl-mousewheel to zoom? Wrong!

[Cat Whisperer]

It's exercising but unless you're power-walking you are probably not going to get your heart rate pumpin' super-duper hard.Not to belabour the point too much, but walking is excellent exercise at many different exertion levels. Bottom line - ANY walking is better than sitting on a couch. :)

[lindsaybluth]

Man, I just don't know. There's this really sweet lady in one of my gym classes; we chat sometimes. She's like a size 2 but very fit and strong, not some stick. She mentioned she has 3 kids (I thought it was just 1) and how one recently had surgery (he's fine), that was why she was away.

Sigh. I don't think I can ever look that good, nevermind the post multiple pregnancy bit. Urgh.

[Chimera]

Apparently now we are required to go to the lunch room or go outside, or remain quietly at our desks during our breaks, or we can be written up.

What.
The.
Fuck.

Hey, if there is a problem, deal with the problem.
Knock off the "Here's what you can be fired for this month" collective punishment bullshit over petty assed reasons.

[Chefguy]

Radio Shack: I was just there to buy a power cord. Do you really think it's necessary to tell your employees to try to sell every customer a cell phone plan?

[Cat Whisperer]

Radio Shack: I was just there to buy a power cord. Do you really think it's necessary to tell your employees to try to sell every customer a cell phone plan?
I got pestered about my cell phone last time I went in there, too. It was weird. Yes, I have a cellphone, and no, I'm not interested in whatever you're pushing - I'm content with my pay-as-you-go plan. It was a complete non sequitur - "I'm just browsing, thanks." "Have you got a cellphone?"

[Autolycus]

Not to belabour the point too much, but walking is excellent exercise at many different exertion levels. Bottom line - ANY walking is better than sitting on a couch. :)

Can't argue with you there.

[Autolycus]

Sigh. I don't think I can ever look that good, nevermind the post multiple pregnancy bit. Urgh.

There will always be somebody more beautiful out there. Besides, I bet you look great just the way you are!

[Nava]

It's exercising but unless you're power-walking you are probably not going to get your heart rate pumpin' super-duper hard.

But most of the people who walk for exercise are doing it for things like "joint flexibility" or "to get some air". If my mother's heart ever gets to pumpin' super-duper-hard, we'll have to call 112.

[Lacunae Matata]

There will always be somebody more beautiful out there. Besides, I bet you look great just the way you are!

Waitacottonpickingminute! You realize that this is the Pit, right? No matter how absolutely fabulous Lindsay looks, no matter how superlatively beautiful, this is supposed to be MiniRants! Get with the program! Just because Lindsaybluth is blindlingly, marvelously gorgeous is no reason for you to sidestep the rules here, bub!

;)

Oh, and co-workers? Don't gripe if I can't notify you of schedule changes if you can't be arsed to update the home/cell/e-mail contacts I have for you. I'd try smoke signals, but it's raining pretty hard, and I'd have a pretty rough time trying to build a fire for that...

[rhubarbarin]

To me, walking from one place to another is 'activity' (and the more the better, surely) but not 'exercise'. Physical exercise is a planned exertion, outside the norm of how most people move around all day, by definition. Well, I guess this does apply to a lot of sedentary people I know, who get out of breath going up the stairs in their house. But I think the US Government agrees with me here.

Still, it's like how moving your arms to wash the dishes isn't exercise. Or lifting your drink to your mouth, even if it's a pint glass or larger. I'm walking around all day at work (often at a good pace), I'm sure it burns more calories than sitting in a chair but to call it 'exercise' just seems silly. It's physical activity, yes, and very good for me.

[Cat Whisperer]

I'll start a thread on walking as exercise rather than continue here. :)

ETA: And here it is. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=13450907#post13450907)

[Daerlyn]

Apparently now we are required to go to the lunch room or go outside, or remain quietly at our desks during our breaks, or we can be written up.


I'm confused. Those are the three things I'm most likely to do on my breaks. What are the other options that management are trying to discourage?

My rant: To the support manager in my office (who I thankfully no longer report to).

You forced your employee to stay on the phone for 45 minutes attempting to support a fax machine that we didn't sell, or manufacture, and which was having a problem totally unrelated to the service we provide, on the basis that we should try to 'help the customer' (apparently, by wasting their time and preventing them phoning the people who can actually help, like for instance Lexmark's support line).

This, for the record, prevented said employee going for lunch at 3.30 (when there are three other people working support). He got off the phone at 4.15, went to get lunch, at which point you gave him shit for getting lunch after the two morning people left for the day.

If he'd stood up and punched you in the mouth right at that moment, no jury in the world would have convicted him. I also would have volunteered to provide an alibi.

[purplehorseshoe]

This is only going to be funny to Dopers who are way too invested in the various ongoing mini-rants threads (waves at ShotFromGuns) but: there's a can of Dr. Pepper in the breakroom freezer. Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen, place your bets. The top is juuuuuuust starting to bulge.

I forgot to check back in at the end of the day and then took a snow day* yesterday. This morning, the inside of the breakroom freezer is one sticky mess.

@lindsaybluth: there's only one dipshit here who puts her soda in the freezer because fridge temp is just not cold enough. It's been gently (and possibly not-so-gently) suggested she set an Outlook reminder to go retrieve the fucking thing. She apparently has yet to try that out.


*side rant: I really shouldn't have to blow through my vacation time to protect my own safety when the entire rest of the city has shut down for a day. Every time I think about it I get seriously pissed the fuck off. I mean, this place isn't as bad as the circle of hell where Chimera works, but ... damn, dudes.





Oh, and other co-worker? (Not soda-in-freezer girl, a different one.) Those gloves I gave you? I'm thrilled you like them. Really, I am. I know you like vintage stuff, and those things are as old if not older than my three decades on this earth. Their age means the leather is soft as anything, but they're well-cared-for. I'm honestly glad you like wearing bright fuchsia - I don't. They're small, and I don't know many people with hands small enough that they can fit, so I'm glad yours are. I ferreals happy that you posted a note on your blog about how much you like your little random surprise gift.

But, the real reason I gave them to you?

They were my mother's. She gave them to me years - maybe a decage - ago, once her hands were just too irredeemably knobby to fit anymore. Every time I wear them, they make my hands, to me, look like hers. I just can't take seeing my hands gripping the steering wheel, looking like her hands did all those countless hours I spent trapped in a car with her.

I'll never tell you this. But I'm putting it here, where you'll never read it.

[lindsaybluth]

There will always be somebody more beautiful out there. Besides, I bet you look great just the way you are!

Waitacottonpickingminute! You realize that this is the Pit, right? No matter how absolutely fabulous Lindsay looks, no matter how superlatively beautiful, this is supposed to be MiniRants! Get with the program! Just because Lindsaybluth is blindlingly, marvelously gorgeous is no reason for you to sidestep the rules here, bub!

;)

heh, thank you both :)

[Shot From Guns]

Stop that fucking smiling right this second!

[2square4u]

Stop that fucking smiling right this second!

Shouldn't that have been in CAPS?

[Shot From Guns]

Caps sound too gleeful. I am being emphatic and stern. Stern!

[jsgoddess]

Caps sound too gleeful. I am being emphatic and stern. Stern!

I cried. True story.

[Shot From Guns]

Good.

[LavenderBlue]

You stupid cunt. If the baby's sick you take the baby to the pediatrician. You don't go on a message board asking about homeopathic remedies. There is no such thing! You give your baby access to medical care. You know the kind that works rather than the kind that's overpriced shaken water.

Some people should have their breeding licenses revoked.

[Shot From Guns]

Sounds like a self-correcting problem to me!

[Sattua]

I'm glad that you restricted to yourself to 1500 calories a day and continued regular workouts during your whole pregnancy, darlin.

Enjoy that 4-pound 12-ounce, full-term baby that's in the NICU now. Aren't you proud of yourself?

[lindsaybluth]

Stop that fucking smiling right this second!

Done and done! I bought sugar free cake mix (sweetened with Splenda) this afternoon. I have no idea what I was thinking but I'm assuming it's gonna taste like shit.

But my pride won't allow me not to make it.

[Khadaji]

Dear Friend: I would prefer that you politely decline my request for a favor, rather than agree to it and then never do it.

After two months, when I come to you and say listen, I can tell you are busy, why don't I just tell my business partners that you are over commited? It would be much better for me if you agree, rather than tell me no, you really really want to do this and promise me again to have it by the end of the week.

Really, we are desperate for the favor, but it would be so much kinder for you to just tell me no. This way is agonizing and my partners call every day asking me if the report is done.

[TheMerchandise]

Dear Co-Worker, thanks terribly much for refusing to work evenings and weekends. Sure, working those shifts occasionally was listed as part of the job that you applied to and were hired for, but that sort of thing is so easy to ignore. It's nice to know that just because you have young children and strict religious beliefs and I have neither, that your time is so much more important than mine. Thanks also to our supervisor, who puts up with your crap. I'll be thinking of you both when I'm working until 9:00 for the third time this week.

[Shot From Guns]

I bought sugar free cake mix (sweetened with Splenda) this afternoon. I have no idea what I was thinking but I'm assuming it's gonna taste like shit.

Jesus christ. Everything I've ever heard about artificial sweeteners is that they work well in things like cold drinks but fail miserably for baked goods. Good fucking luck.

[lindsaybluth]

Dear Mom,

Don't forward me an email from Airtran at 3am confirming your flight 12 hours later to Florida without an explanation. Your lack of explanation coupled with a same day flight leads me to believe that something is HORRIBLY WRONG with Grandma.

Your explanation that she's getting elective cataract surgery and that she was waiting on the insurance approval helps, but you know, you could have always sent that along with the confirmation email. It also doesn't help to tell me "Well, Middle Bluth and Littlest Bluth already know!" :mad:

ETA: She called me at noon to tell me the surgery went fine and Grandma was eating Chipotle at home. I think she might have finally learned her lesson.

[Shot From Guns]

For some reason, I find the idea of a little old lady chowing down on a giant burrito absolutely hilarious.

[purplehorseshoe]

I'm glad that you restricted to yourself to 1500 calories a day and continued regular workouts during your whole pregnancy, darlin.

Enjoy that 4-pound 12-ounce, full-term baby that's in the NICU now. Aren't you proud of yourself?

This made me :(. "Full term?!?" Jesus.

[SpazCat]

Corporate, if you're going to send out a flyer to people advertising a rate and telling them to ask about it, could you a) let us mere peons know and b) PUT THE FUCKING RATE IN THE COMPUTER? I have had at least six calls this week from people asking about the rate only to have me tell them I don't have it available. I asked Boss about it today and he said it was supposed to have ended in December. I asked one of the people on the phone and he said the flyer said it was available until June 30th.

Way to make yourselves look good to potential customers in a down economy, Corporate. You're going to crash and burn when the tourism around here dries up, yanno. And it will dry up. It will.

[Arien]

I live in a house converted into apartments and the downstairs neighbors keep parking their car at the entrance of the driveway blocking my car in. It's been going on for about 2 weeks now and almost every evening (I take public transport to and from work) I have to get them to move their car or cars before I can leave. I dutifully shoveled my car out and most of the length of the driveway after the last snowstorm but they didn't. Unfortunately, the landlord doesn't take care of snow removal in the driveway and they're not required to by law, I checked. They're sending out a memo to all the tenants telling them not to block people but I doubt it will be effective. I didn't want them to contact the neighbors directly since I'm the only one affected by this (the other neighbors park in front) so they'll know it was me who complained. I know, I'm a wuss, and I should just ask them to stop parking there. It's not my problem that they didn't shovel out their space. I would just park on the street but my city doesn't allow overnight parking on the streets. It's so irritating and I feel like i have to ask permission to use my car, it's ridiculous. Or I'll have to be the bad guy and report them to the landlord. They also have 2 cars even though we're only promised one space each.

[kaylasdad99]

Aside from the confusing issue of why do you need to drive your car if you're taking public transit to work :confused: I'm wondering why you don't just knock on their door when you need to get your car out, and ask them to move it. No need to involve the management at all.

[lindsaybluth]

For some reason, I find the idea of a little old lady chowing down on a giant burrito absolutely hilarious.

She is very little and very old; I actually laughed myself. She probably ate the whole thing in 4 sittings.

I live in a house converted into apartments and the downstairs neighbors keep parking their car at the entrance of the driveway blocking my car in.

Next time they move, put your car in that place. I'm sure they'll contact you.

I know because I've been blocked in for hours and simply did what they did in return. They did not understand that the joke was on them, or that it was punishment for what they'd been doing. Stupid knows no bounds. I didn't respond to their requests to move the car for hours.

Did they ever do it again? No.

Grow a spine and fight back.

[EmAnJ]

Aside from the confusing issue of why do you need to drive your car if you're taking public transit to work :confused:

You don't run errands after work? I sure do. Groceries, drug store, vet, mailing parcels, stuff like that.

[Tanaqui]

Dear friend,

I know that moving in with you is probably a bad idea.

I know you have all kind of weird issues and there's a good chance it would ruin our friendship.

I know living with a friend is almost always a bad idea.

But you said you would move in with me, when my roommate suddenly informed me that was she was moving out, and she was going to sublet her room, and, by the way, "is a male roommate OK with you?"

You want out of your living situation anyways. You don't have any money to furnish a whole apartment. And you SUGGESTED moving in with me when I showed you the email. I was only showing you it to kvetch about my former roommate anyways.

So why did you then freak out and decide, the next day, that your delicate mental state meant that you needed a place of your own? And then, when, once I talked to you about it, did you change your mind AGAIN and decide that you were sure, you were definitely going to live with me, 100% certain, just a case of cold feet.

And then, when I insisted that you take a day to think about it, did you CHANGE YOUR MIND AGAIN and go back to the living-by-yourself plan? Why can't you just make up your fucking mind? I know I probably had a lucky escape, and I'm glad I suggested you take another day. But I still feel hurt and rejected. I also feel like I can't trust a single word you say, anymore, because you are chronically incapable of making a decision, and so desperately eager to please that you are untrustworthy.

I thought you were one of my best friends. And now, because of YOUR suggestion, I feel betrayed by my best friend AND I have to deal with some random stranger moving in to my apartment. Plus we already told my roommate (with your consent!) so now I have to break the news to her that she has to find someone to sublet the place, anyways.

It sucks. I can't even complain about it to you, as I usually do, because you were the one who fucked me over. I hope I can get over this, because you didn't really behave that badly (this all happened within like three days), but I'm just so angry at you right now. We usually hang out every day, studying or whatever (grad students) so now I have no idea what I'm going to do this weekend. I don't really want to see you or talk to you for the moment. I hope I can get over it.

Sincerely,
Your ex-soon-to-be-roommate

[LeeshaJoy]

I got my bill for next month's health insurance premium. The rates have gone up. It now costs me more than a week's salary to procure an individual insurance plan that covers fuck-all. :smack:

Remind me again why UHC is supposed to be a bad idea?

[Chimera]

So today we have an emergency team meeting, announced with something like 12 minutes advanced notice. When we get there, our Director (you remember him, right?) takes over and our boss leaves. It turns out there have been a lot of complaints about our boss, but the real trick is that one of the people on our team is upset about it and asked the Director to talk to us about it.

The first topic is disposed of rather quickly.

Then I bring up all the rules changes and re-iterations of rules lately, and how every goddamned one of them is accompanied by threats of disciplinary action if we fail to comply. I state that I'm tired of all the threats and it is killing morale around the place.

Whooooosh!!!

Looking surprised and confused, Director Boy explains how this is just the way it works. Everything in the employee manual is the same way. You explain the rule, or what you want done, then you explain that failure to comply is subject to disciplinary action.

Other person on my team points out that, hey, it might be nice for once to ask us to do something without making a threat out of it.

Whooooosh!!!

Again right over Director Boy's head. He can't understand what the problem is, this is the way it works. Why even in his meetings with our supervisors, he has to spell things out and then tell them that if they don't comply, it is subject to disciplinary measures. What's the issue here? Of course he has to do this, because otherwise some people aren't going to do what they are told!

Damn. I'm 48 years old. I've been working for 32 years. I found out Wednesday that Director Boy just turned 30. I've been working longer than he has been alive. No place I have EVER worked has worked like this. The man is absolutely incapable of grasping how his insistence on constant disciplinary warnings can be perceived as a threat by his employees, or how this can adversely affect morale and drive away good people. Just absolutely astonishing that this company allows this man to act this way and makes no effort to teach him to actually MANAGE AND MOTIVATE his people in a positive manner.

[Alice The Goon]

Look, asshole roomate o' mine- putting slippers on your feet does not automatically make them impossible to pick up. If I have to continue to listen to the ssshhhh sssshhhh ssshhhh of your feet with every step you take, I might have to break your feet off and shove them down your throat. Capiche?

[Dr. Drake]

Dear Stalker Dad,

Look, you're a great guy, but when I tell you that I'm visiting my aunt for a week, on a pass from her airline because I'm broke, for a badly-needed week of R&R after a hellish year,¹ please do not surprise-fly yourself and your girlfriend into the same city so we can all play Big Happy Family.² Please also do not announce that you'd like to fly to my city for my 40th birthday, 9 months ahead of said date, and then start inviting other relatives. Not going to happen.³

Backstory 1: in 2010 I went from the US to Canada with no savings, no job, and no housing lined up, and now I'm working 4 part-time jobs to make ends meet. It was the right decision and it's going great, but I need a break. My aunt lives in my hometown; a visit there is a visit home, plus my cat is still with her. My father lives a thousand miles away: visits from high-maintenance Eeyore him and his perfectly nice but incurably perky girlfriend are a source of stress, not a break. We spend about an hour a week on the phone; that's nice, but that's enough.

Backstory 2: My father & aunt are the survivors of a severely dysfunctional family. When I was growing up family functions were both rare and hellish. We all get along fine as long as we stay 1000+ miles away most of the year. My father has rewritten our history and seems to think we're all best buds who like to eat meals together outdoors and go for long hikes while nibbling on organic snax. His girlfriend, 14 years older than me, asked me to be her "son" on Facebook. Sweet but creepy.

Backstory 3: I dislike celebrating my birthday; milestone anniversaries are boring, and I find being the focus of a celebration unbearable unless perhaps for an actual accomplishment. I had nothing to do with my birth. If my parents want to celebrate it, they are welcome to, but on their own turf, please.

[Cat Whisperer]

I hope what you're taking away from this situation is not to expect flakes to not be flakes, Tanaqui.

[Fearless Leader]

Fuck you, Bank of America. You want to start charging me an annual fee to hold your credit card? Go right ahead. Yesterday I received my tax refund and paid off the card, today I finally go through all my mail from the week and find a letter containing this little gem. The timing couldn't have been more providential. I'm closing my account later today. Way to lose a good damn customer.

[slumtrimpet]

So today we have an emergency team meeting, announced with something like 12 minutes advanced notice. When we get there, our Director (you remember him, right?) takes over and our boss leaves.
...
Just absolutely astonishing that this company allows this man to act this way and makes no effort to teach him to actually MANAGE AND MOTIVATE his people in a positive manner.

Don't take it personal?
My husband is a GP. He is required to do a weeks worth of oncall and attending work in the hospital every month or so. Inevitably, there is some patient record that needs his signature for discharge or some such other minor shit. The lack of a signature is usually caused by the records disappearing into the transcription department for several weeks (impossible to retrieve once they've been sent there). So, without fail, he gets a letter mailed to him from the Chief of Staff every month telling him that he has an uncompleted medical chart somewhere and will lose his license to practice medicine if he doesn't address this within 48 hours. WTF?
The first time this happened Dr. trimpet had a panic attack and made a special trip to the hospital to deal. The second time he was annoyed. The third time he contacted the Chief of Staff and asked if it was really necessary to threaten him with the revocation of his license for such a minor issue. CoS claimed it was the only way he could get the medical staff to comply with chart completion requirements (which are a legal requirement) and basically he just skipped sending out gentle reminders and went straight to dire threats because nobody paid the slightest attention to gentle reminders.
So now Dr. trimpet rolls his eyes and takes care of any chart omissions when he has the opportunity, and if it's not within the prescribed 48 hours he doesn't break a sweat.
He also noticed during that first panic trip that there was a pile of uncompleted charts from other physicians, some of which dated back six months or longer.

But I agree, your Director is a twat. There are better ways to manage people. Giving them a sense of worth and appreciation tends to create an atmosphere where people want to be conscientious employees.

[Cat Whisperer]

People learn from their managers - I worked in an accounting department where every deadline was a CRISIS!!!!! Then the deadline passed because we were always short-staffed, and the response was, "Meh. We'll do it this week, I guess." Guess which message was the one that I took to heart? It's a LOT better for management to try to resolve an ongoing problem than escalating their toothless threats to staff.

[lindsaybluth]

Fuck you, Bank of America. You want to start charging me an annual fee to hold your credit card? Go right ahead. Yesterday I received my tax refund and paid off the card, today I finally go through all my mail from the week and find a letter containing this little gem. The timing couldn't have been more providential. I'm closing my account later today. Way to lose a good damn customer.

I'm completely with you on hating BoA. Just a reminder that closing any credit card will ding your credit. In case you were considering buying a car, house, or making another big purchase in the near future, you might wanna hold off on it just a bit and simply not use the card or use it once/month.

[Chimera]

People learn from their managers - I worked in an accounting department where every deadline was a CRISIS!!!!!

When I first started my last IT job back in about 1999, I ran afoul of the existing acting project leader (who was really quite inexperienced but the promotions went to her head) because I absolutely refused to panic when things went wrong. She kept insisting that if you didn't panic, you obviously were not taking things seriously enough. :rolleyes:

No, been there, done that. Panicking wastes time and energy. Just do the fucking job.

[margin]

Dear shrink:

You still don't get why I fired your ass? Because threatening me with involuntary committment if I talked about those suicidal feelings is going to do two things: It's going to destroy any trust I have for you and keep from talking, and it's going to make me wonder what kind of asshole you are. Because I voluntarily committed myself during one suicidal episode, and a male patient threatened me. The nurses just threw up their hands and did nothing. "Honey, he's nuts, what can we do?" So you know I'm terrified of that place, where they put men and women together and don't protect the women. You knew it. That's why you thought threatening me would shut me up. I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid. If you contact me again, I'll get a restraining order on your ass. I've told you repeatedly that you are cold and lack compassion, your note taking is inaccurate--hello, it's MY life!----and that you have already violated HIPPA---which you admitted to. You constantly minimized the very symptoms that were and are making me miserable, and in the process, you prolonged the misery. You're a perfect example of somebody who shouldn't work with patients and should stick to lab rats.

[Chimera]

As I say over and over again;

Professionals work for you.
If they don't work for you, find another.

[Roderick Femm]

I'm completely with you on hating BoA. Just a reminder that closing any credit card will ding your credit. In case you were considering buying a car, house, or making another big purchase in the near future, you might wanna hold off on it just a bit and simply not use the card or use it once/month.From what I have heard from apparent experts (Marketplace Money on NPR), the minor ding on your credit should never slow you down in closing a credit card account that you are dissatisfied with. And if there's a fee, not using the card doesn't save you the fee. Your credit score will recover any minor hit pretty soon anyway.


Roddy

[Cat Whisperer]

When I first started my last IT job back in about 1999, I ran afoul of the existing acting project leader (who was really quite inexperienced but the promotions went to her head) because I absolutely refused to panic when things went wrong. She kept insisting that if you didn't panic, you obviously were not taking things seriously enough. :rolleyes:

No, been there, done that. Panicking wastes time and energy. Just do the fucking job.
I have worked in hospitals as a lab tech and lots of offices. In offices, I don't panic because no matter what's going on, nobody is going to die. In hospitals, you don't panic because somebody MIGHT die. I'm not a big fan of panicking either.

[Cat Whisperer]

AY-YI-YI! I just remembered what I needed to rant about - my husband and I took a walk to the library this afternoon, and were almost run over in a crosswalk. When I say "almost run over," I mean I RAN to get out of the way of the minivan that didn't see us at all. The first vehicle went by us as we stepped into the crosswalk, then the next one, the one we were right in front of in the next lane over (so we'd been in the crosswalk for a good time now), didn't see us and wasn't stopping for us. I ran to get to the median, my husband went back to the other lane, the guy slowed down and opened his window to apologize to us, and we both basically yelled at him that he had almost killed us. It took me a good while to stop shaking from the adrenaline.

[curlcoat]

From what I have heard from apparent experts (Marketplace Money on NPR), the minor ding on your credit should never slow you down in closing a credit card account that you are dissatisfied with. And if there's a fee, not using the card doesn't save you the fee. Your credit score will recover any minor hit pretty soon anyway.


Roddy

I'm not getting this. Why would it negatively affect your credit score if you either acted responsibly in closing a credit card because you don't have the money to be charging things, or you closed it because you have too many, or because you wanted a different one?

[Roderick Femm]

I'm not getting this. Why would it negatively affect your credit score if you either acted responsibly in closing a credit card because you don't have the money to be charging things, or you closed it because you have too many, or because you wanted a different one?I don't pretend to understand it either; credit scores are the result of complicated formulas, including such innocuous things as how many times people have inquired into your credit score. The conventional wisdom seems to be that closing a credit account will count against your score in some way, but apparently not a big way.


Roddy

[StarvingButStrong]

I don't pretend to understand it either; credit scores are the result of complicated formulas, including such innocuous things as how many times people have inquired into your credit score.



I've read that closing an account can hurt you in two ways:

1) Part of your score is how old your oldest credit account is, so you generally should avoid closing an account if it is considerably older than your other ones.

2) They look at what percentage of your available credit you are using, lower being better. So suppose you had three accounts, each with $5,000 credit limit, and you had balances of $4,000 and $3,000 and $500 on them. Your debts would only be 50% of your available credits and that's good for X pts on your credit score.

But then you pay off the $500 and close the third account. All of a sudden you're using 70% of your available credit and now you have X - Y pts.

[Brown Eyed Girl]

Damn you Necco!

I came home from work yesterday and found a martini glass full of conversation hearts sitting on my nightstand. Awww. Mr. Brown knows what a treat I find them. That evening, I carefully select a yellow one, my favorite, and pop it in my mouth. Wait...that's not right. A green one. Ewww! That's definitely not right. Where are my white ones? Hey--oh...right. And the memory comes flooding back. Last year, Necco decided to RUIN them by "updating" the colors and flavors. Gone are my favorite banana-flavored yellow ones; gone are my second favorite spearmint-flavored white ones. The greens ones, which used to be tolerable, are now absolutely disgusting. The purple and pink ones are still nasty, but their nastiness has been amplified. Fuck.

Damn you to hell! *shakes fist*

Now, I feel like a heel because it's not hubby's fault they are now completely inedible. I do appreciate the sentiment. Oh yeah, the sentiment. They updated those, too.

"GO GO GO" This is romantic?
"U CAN DO IT" Wait, you're pep-talking me?
"GOOGLE ME" Translation: stalk me.

But at least a third of them are blank. I hate those awkward silences. "WAY TO GO", Necco!

Does anyone have any interesting suggestions for what to do with a couple of bags of crappy heart-shaped candy? Art projects, pranks, whatever?

[kaylasdad99]

Get yourself a slingshot, and fire them at people at work tomorrow. If anyone gets a balloon bouquet at their desk, see if you can pop one or more balloons.

Heck, see if you can even hit one.

[Fearless Leader]

From what I have heard from apparent experts (Marketplace Money on NPR), the minor ding on your credit should never slow you down in closing a credit card account that you are dissatisfied with. And if there's a fee, not using the card doesn't save you the fee. Your credit score will recover any minor hit pretty soon anyway.


Roddy

(Bolding mine). Exactly. While I appreciate all the advice, just having an account - whether I carry a balance or not - will subject me to a fee. I can reject the fee, which will close my account. And I'll be damned if I incur a fee for the privilege of having a credit card take up space in my wallet. I don't anticipate making a large purchase in the near future so I think I'm more inclined to close the card and risk whatever it does to my credit.

[lindsaybluth]

Does anyone have any interesting suggestions for what to do with a couple of bags of crappy heart-shaped candy? Art projects, pranks, whatever?

Huh, we have a few boxes lying around too. Can you give them away to a local school? Would the birds be interested in them?

I don't anticipate making a large purchase in the near future so I think I'm more inclined to close the card and risk whatever it does to my credit.

Ahh good then. I hope they call you for a follow up questionnaire with the essential question being "bbbbbuuut whyyyy?" and you can give 'em an earful.

I got quite the interesting notice in the mail the other day. A debit card overdraft fee! When I had ~$2400 in my account! This is probably the last straw; two weeks ago when the SO went in to deposited a check from me to him, they deposited it instead into *my* account. Yeah.

My check, with my name and address in the upper corner, addressed to another person, they deposited into *my* account.

[Sattua]

I had so hoped to avoid stretch marks. Alas. This morning I found a flock of them all over the underside of my belly. Not that my belly has ever been anything to show off... and I've had marks all over my hips and thighs for months now. But still. Sigh. So cruel to have held off for so long that I'd begun to hope...

It's gonna be a tankini/skirtini summer for me.

[LavenderBlue]

Fuck you, Bank of America. You want to start charging me an annual fee to hold your credit card? Go right ahead. Yesterday I received my tax refund and paid off the card, today I finally go through all my mail from the week and find a letter containing this little gem. The timing couldn't have been more providential. I'm closing my account later today. Way to lose a good damn customer.

Don't trust Bank of America about anything. I took an online survey for them the other day. The survey was all about the ways they want to fuck over customers. They gave me a list of fees and wanted to know if I thought they were fair or not. The list of fees included all sorts of outrageous nonsense -- $12 for using electronic banking services, $15 if you don't use their debit card a certain number of times per month, $25 for replacing a lost ATM card and the like.

I have an account with them that we are watching very closely. They're greedy, arrogant assholes. At this point in time they don't pay interest on bank accounts so you're almost better off keeping the money under a mattress. I am seriously considering other alternatives.

[lindsaybluth]

$12 for using electronic banking services, $15 if you don't use their debit card a certain number of times per month, $25 for replacing a lost ATM card and the like.

:eek: That's insane! I haven't heard stories about them in 2 years, they clearly have gone way off the deep end.

Sattua I'm sorry :(. They really suck.

[LavenderBlue]

Bank of America officials are testing some of the fees out in in certain markets. (http://consumerist.com/2011/01/bofa-pilot-tests-new-fee-checking-accounts.html)

[saje]

Originally Posted by Brown Eyed Girl

Does anyone have any interesting suggestions for what to do with a couple of bags of crappy heart-shaped candy? Art projects, pranks, whatever?

Originally Posted by lindsaybluth
Huh, we have a few boxes lying around too. Can you give them away to a local school? Would the birds be interested in them?

Know anyone who has horses? My guys love them as treats :)

[Rysto]

Dear self,

If you keep going into the server room without hearing protection, you're going to seriously damage your ears. If you haven't already. Knock it off already.

[Scuba_Ben]

I prefer one-trick pony posters to have an entertaining trick. N8N8N8N's one trick isn't entertaining, IMO. The only entertainment is from poking N8.

Bonus mini rant: I as much as everybody else in N8's thread should have stopped feeding the troll days ago.

[Chefguy]

Portland wants voters to pass a school bond that would substantially increase property taxes. Mine would go up about $500/yr. Really? In a fucking recession, with people barely making ends meet, you want to whack them with a 15% tax increase to pay for school replacements because you didn't do the goddamned periodic maintenance? And you want to provide covered play areas at eight schools? Are you fucking shitting me? And they also want money to pay off debts from previous projects. WTF? And to pay operational costs, which is sort of like taking out a loan to buy groceries. These are some seriously fucked up people.

[lindsaybluth]

Ah, the beauty of raising taxing in recession. That just happened in my future MIL's school district. So much time elapsed with the lawsuits that were filed and so forth (also structural issues with the ground they want to build on) that a campaign was mounted and the two dissenting school board voters were ousted. It boggles the mind. It's to build an entirely new high school. The old one, by the way, is less than 40 years old.

[curlcoat]

I prefer one-trick pony posters to have an entertaining trick. N8N8N8N's one trick isn't entertaining, IMO. The only entertainment is from poking N8.

Bonus mini rant: I as much as everybody else in N8's thread should have stopped feeding the troll days ago.

Mini rant - posters who rant about something going on in the Dope without posting a link.... :D

[kaylasdad99]

Mini rant - posters who rant about something going on in the Dope without posting a link.... :D
You asked for it, dollface. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=595790)

I think you'll get to page three, maybe.

Bon Appétit! :D

[curlcoat]

You asked for it, dollface. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=595790)

I think you'll get to page three, maybe.

Bon Appétit! :D

Buh?

I only made it to post #23 - I assume it only got worse?

[Brown Eyed Girl]

Get yourself a slingshot, and fire them at people at work tomorrow. If anyone gets a balloon bouquet at their desk, see if you can pop one or more balloons.

Heck, see if you can even hit one.

I love this suggestion. Unfortunately, I don't work in an office. I should glue one to the floor and watch how many people try to pick it up. Then mock them about eating candy off the floor.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Portland wants voters to pass a school bond that would substantially increase property taxes. Mine would go up about $500/yr. Really? In a fucking recession, with people barely making ends meet, you want to whack them with a 15% tax increase to pay for school replacements because you didn't do the goddamned periodic maintenance? And you want to provide covered play areas at eight schools? Are you fucking shitting me? And they also want money to pay off debts from previous projects. WTF? And to pay operational costs, which is sort of like taking out a loan to buy groceries. These are some seriously fucked up people. A lot of politicians here in Texas love to act tough about cutting out the fat in the budget. The problem is, they sometimes mistake the muscle and even bone for fat. They scrimp on or cut out maintenance altogether, and then they're surprised when shit breaks down. It's like they would expect to drive a car forever without ever changing the oil, or even putting gas in it once in a while. However, when it comes to plum contracts for their friends, well, THAT'S not fat!

[Scuba_Ben]

Mini rant - posters who rant about something going on in the Dope without posting a link.... :D

I was trying to not encourage people to feed the troll. (After all, this particular troll is on a carefully balanced diet; random feedings will throw off the balance.)

[margin]

...Because, dear dipshit bureaucrat, I cannot for the life of me figure out how in the bloody fuck you think you are doing any goddamned good at all.

So I sent out emails, figuring that this would enable people not to be dipshits. For example, 'agoraphobia.' It may seem strange, but I was convinced that I was one of the few and the weak who suffered from this as a result of doing lots of convoys, being in combat, etc., etc., Lot of close calls. You know what a close call means? It means somebody else died instead of you, sometimes in front of you. Then a friend of mine forwarded me an article and I was sort of both horrified and relieved to see that someone else had the same problem. So, why then, has the VA not figured this out?

So, agoraphobia. It's what results when you fuck up a patient's care repeatedly, and let those panic attacks turn into full-fledged horrors, involving fainting, vomiting, and at best self-induced starvation for extended periods of time before and after panic attacks, because the VA insists that their shitty therapy will do the trick. Except it didn't. It might have had something to do with the fact that the first therapy group they put me in---well after I confided certain facts about the way some of the male soldiers in my unit behaved-----contained men who were in therapy for the purpose of getting their sentences reduced. For what, you say? For things like wife-beating, girl-friend beating (same guy--and a cop, too!), sexual assault ("Hey, I didn't force her!" ---but raping her while she was unconscious after you offered her a safe space is okay?) and the extremely high ranking officer who got offended after he sighed about how there wasn't anything wrong with 'admiring a nice ass while it walks down the hall.' And those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. Later on, another woman who was depressed about being harassed at work joined us, and these guys groomed her to be the perfect victim: don't complain, just accept it, go along with it, ignore it, it'll go away......Ahem.

So shocker of shockers I got terribly depressed and while the VA put pressure on me to think happy thoughts and make the panic attacks go away, they didn't do much about the suicidal feelinsgs, because as we all know, soldiers who were considered responsible enough to serve in delicate situations and handle both classified material and high-powered weapons are the sort to lie about their injuries. Or at least that's the way the VA treats them. I tried to kill myself.

And since then the VA has cut off my transportation, then cut off my meds, forcing me to go cold turkey on not one, not two, not three, not four, but five fairly serious meds. And engage in a battle of wills which I'm convinced is devoted to notihng less than proving that my condition is not as bad as I say it is. Hey, all it takes it them endangering my health, right?

So I've been emailing people all over, looking for help, as I'm having screaming nightmares that leave me terrified to sleep. I used to wake up my roommate with screams, and one time I blacked my own eye because I was flailing around so much. The result is that I'm sleeping ninety minutes at a stretch, and that's if I'm lucky. And of course, this does not do good things for the panic attacks or the agoraphobia, which I have to mention to said bureaucrats and what happens?

Every. Frickin'. One.Of. These. Morons turns around and says, "So can we meet somewhere?" And after I point out that I did, in fact, say, ahem, AGORAFUCKINGPHOBIA they often times suggest......"Coffee shop?"

The final straw? This person just sent me an email suggesting a hospital. In another city. At least two hours from here. How do I get from here to, say, the bus station? From the bus station to the hospital? And reverse the trip? Aside from which.....yeah, another city?

I've called my congress critters---one meeting took place in the congress critter's office, which means the VA doesn't give a shit. I've called the governor's office.

Lest anyone be tempted to suggest that I might be inspring such behavior, I have another female friend who's a 1st. Sgt. in the Pacific Northwest. One day she went to the chow hall for lunch, not knowing the that one of the Iraqi National Guard soldiers waiting to eat had removed the plates from his flak vest and replaced them with C-4. He killed 28 of her soldiers right in front of her. Oh, and that's something else. When a man mourns fallen comrades, it's noble. When a woman does it, it's either because she's maternal or women are just soft like that.

And she laughed her head off when I predicted the VA's response to this: "Hey, want a PAP smear?"

At least the insurgents are frickin' honest about what their objective is in life.

[Lady of the Lake]

margin,
Wow. I don't know what to say as I'm slightly confused by your situation, but it sounds bad. :(

My mini-rant is now going to seem even more trivial:

To my anti-vaccination, ionized water loving sister:

I realize that with the wonders of being pregnant, you are experiencing a whole new life.

A life in which you believe a dolphin swimming nearby is watching out for your unborn baby. I just wondered if the dolphin was thinking a slow moving pregnant woman might be easier to hump.

But this morning, in my in-box, is an email from you about the evils of fluoride. It apparently causes Down syndrome and thyroid problems. Please. Last year you told me my plastic shower curtain was going to make me fat.

But don’t send me unsubstantiated claims and then tell me that I may want to ‘research’ your unsubstantiated claims. (I googled it anyway but all the websites are completely unknown to me so I’m thinking this is another load of her ‘I believe anything random hippies believe but not doctors!’ crap.)

[purplehorseshoe]

margin,
Wow. I don't know what to say as I'm slightly confused by your situation, but it sounds bad. :(

Plus one to that. Margin, take care, OK? I wish I knew what else to say to you. You've been to hell and back, that at least I can see.

Oh, hey - how'd the PAP smear go? :)


... Last year you told me my plastic shower curtain was going to make me fat...

Oh, pleeeeese share the "logic" behind that one with us! I love these, in a sick and twisted way. My mom sent me one a couple years back that claimed, among other things, that drinking distilled water would give you cancer, because distilled water is acidic. Bwuh? :confused:

Ah, thank you Google. She sent me what Snopes is refuting here (http://www.snopes.com/medical/disease/cancerupdate.asp).

[lindsaybluth]

Wait, does that mean she got a glassed in shower? That her hubby paid for?

I might just have to reconsider my feelings on woo...

Margin, take care. That sounds like hell. You do sound smart, getting people involved and telling your story. Contact any journalist friends you have or had long ago. They'd be interested in a good story like that. Not that your life is a "story" - but bringing attention to it may bring better care for you.

[Chefguy]

A lot of politicians here in Texas love to act tough about cutting out the fat in the budget. The problem is, they sometimes mistake the muscle and even bone for fat. They scrimp on or cut out maintenance altogether, and then they're surprised when shit breaks down. It's like they would expect to drive a car forever without ever changing the oil, or even putting gas in it once in a while. However, when it comes to plum contracts for their friends, well, THAT'S not fat!

Don't get me started on deferred maintenance. I've had to deal with that shit all my working life. But this is in the realm of pure and simple neglect, as they are proposing to replace seven schools all at once. People with homes valued at $500K are looking at a tax increase of over $1300/yr, if this passes.

[vannesasmith5469]

its rely true people are doing like that no one is here to ask them that why are they doing like that ?

[Cat Whisperer]

I love this suggestion. Unfortunately, I don't work in an office. I should glue one to the floor and watch how many people try to pick it up. Then mock them about eating candy off the floor.{Homer Simpson}Mmmmm - floor candy.{/HS}

A lot of politicians here in Texas love to act tough about cutting out the fat in the budget. The problem is, they sometimes mistake the muscle and even bone for fat. They scrimp on or cut out maintenance altogether, and then they're surprised when shit breaks down. It's like they would expect to drive a car forever without ever changing the oil, or even putting gas in it once in a while. However, when it comes to plum contracts for their friends, well, THAT'S not fat!My province is going to take a very long time to recover from a premier who was excellent at cutting "fat" out of the budget - unfortunately, he considered healthcare and education to be "fat". It's a bit of a travesty that I live in the richest province in the country (and arguably one of the richest areas in North America) and I can't see a doctor in the emergency room in under eight hours, and elective surgery can take up to two years to get done.

[Scuba_Ben]

..... and elective surgery can take up to two years to get done.

That's a heck of a long hospital stay. Two fucking years from intake to discharge, all for an elective procedure?!

[lindsaybluth]

Wow, two years for elective surgery. My grandmother was complaining hers was two weeks.

*runs and hides*

[Lynn Bodoni]

My province is going to take a very long time to recover from a premier who was excellent at cutting "fat" out of the budget - unfortunately, he considered healthcare and education to be "fat". That's exactly what I'm talking about. It usually costs much less to prevent a problem than solve it. Sometimes a problem can never be really fixed after a certain point.

[Lady of the Lake]

Oh, pleeeeese share the "logic" behind that one with us! I love these, in a sick and twisted way. My mom sent me one a couple years back that claimed, among other things, that drinking distilled water would give you cancer, because distilled water is acidic. Bwuh? :confused:

Ah, thank you Google. She sent me what Snopes is refuting here (http://www.snopes.com/medical/disease/cancerupdate.asp).

Her logic behind plastic shower curtains making you fat is that chemicals release in plastic when heated and cause hormonal changes. Or something. ;)

lindsaybluth,
I believe she went cloth, unfortunately. (Hmm...or maybe nothing at all)

Though I have new information about fluoride when I asked for cites, so just to keep everyone safe:
"I am not sure how much people are allowed to talk about it. When an EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) person tried to bring up the risks, he was fired. They did have to rehire him because it was proven that he was fired for political reasons. The government uses this as a cheap way to get rid of the toxic waste: Fluoride. It is much cheaper than having to dispose of it properly."

Wtf.

[lindsaybluth]

Lady of the Lake, if you mix FLUORIDE with TOXIC SLUDGE you get EASILY DISPOSABLE STUFF.

Or weren't you on the /crazytown email listserv?

[Dung Beetle]

((Cat Whisperer))

I shake a belated fist at that mini-van driver! :mad:

[Lady of the Lake]

Lady of the Lake, if you mix FLUORIDE with TOXIC SLUDGE you get EASILY DISPOSABLE STUFF.

Or weren't you on the /crazytown email listserv?

But wouldn't having to run this world wide fluoride conspiracy cost more money?

But, it's okay, I was told it's my body and if I want to put toxic sludge in it I have that right, so I've got that going for me. ;)

[margin]

"Woo" being defined as Jenna McCarthy type bullshit. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that, Lady of the Lake. I actually saw a frickin' acquaintance of mine dismiss science and medicine as being male while with her supposedly superior female intuition she had access to all kinds of (bullshit) non-scientific crap that, um,....didn't do squat. Thanks, I'll take the science.

For clarification on my own situation: I grew dissatisfied with the VA's treatment as I kept experiencing insomnia, nightmares, night terrors, day terrors, what the fuck ever. Whereupon they gave every appearance of retaliation and I fired the whole lot and demanded new providers. They cut off my transportation, then my meds, leading to agonizing withdrawal and the abrupt return of symptoms of severe PTSD, which has been confirmed by every non-VA doctor I've had access to. Without meds, I can't leave the house, and without leaving the house the VA won't give me meds, which friends of mine have experienced as a one-two punch in their own cases: when desperation led to claw their way to the hospital, the VA triumphantly declared that aha! Malingering fraud! and tried to cut off their benefits, without which they cannot get care. In my case, there's also been medication errors and botched surgeries, but that's a whole nother story.

Your sister sounds lke a small slice of hell and I hope her offspring will not be infected by the woo. I do confess that I'm curious as to how one's shower curtain can have an effect on one's weight. Are you eating the shower curtain or something that you neglected to mention?

[Sattua]

I wish the world would grow the fuck up about Valentine's Day... by which I mean, STOP hating it, STOP being intimidated by it, STOP avoiding it.

It's a nice little bright spot of a holiday during the worst, most disgusting part of winter. It's about hugging and kissing the people you love, and getting them little no-brainer gifts (a box of chocolate. a small toy. a card. maybe flowers. NO YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE CREATIVE). It's about finding something, anything, to celebrate when the whole outside world has been cold and dark and bedraggled for way longer than anyone wants to stay "cozy" indoors.

Jesus christ. Get over it and grow a pair.

[lindsaybluth]

There is hope for children of the woo. I have a friend who only recently opened up to me about her parents' (specifically her mother's) woo and how she had a huge cultural shock in college when she was physically removed from their presence. I would have never guessed she had anything other than a relatively normal, two parent middle class upbringing in the suburbs.

But wouldn't having to run this world wide fluoride conspiracy cost more money?

That's just the government making you think that way in the first place!

[Chefguy]

I wish the world would grow the fuck up about Valentine's Day... by which I mean, STOP hating it, STOP being intimidated by it, STOP avoiding it.

It's a nice little bright spot of a holiday during the worst, most disgusting part of winter. It's about hugging and kissing the people you love, and getting them little no-brainer gifts (a box of chocolate. a small toy. a card. maybe flowers. NO YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE CREATIVE). It's about finding something, anything, to celebrate when the whole outside world has been cold and dark and bedraggled for way longer than anyone wants to stay "cozy" indoors.

Jesus christ. Get over it and grow a pair.

It's a stupid, moronic greeting card holiday, wherein men are supposed to go buy jewelry or candy or some other bullshit for somebody else, just to keep the fucking peace. Women don't have any such obligation, of course, other than to offer stony silence if they don't receive some meaningless gift. I retain my right to hate this "holiday" with a seething passion, and ignore it completely.

[Dung Beetle]

It's a stupid, moronic greeting card holiday, wherein men are supposed to go buy jewelry or candy or some other bullshit for somebody else, just to keep the fucking peace. Women don't have any such obligation, of course, other than to offer stony silence if they don't receive some meaningless gift. I retain my right to hate this "holiday" with a seething passion, and ignore it completely.

That’s just what the TV says. Do you know real people who act like that?

[Ferret Herder]

That’s just what the TV says. Do you know real people who act like that?
My husband does. A couple years ago, two of his female coworkers insisted to him that no, I really did want something special for Valentine's Day and that I really didn't mean it when I said I didn't, and that he'd better pick me up at the airport (from the business trip I was on at the time) on the 14th with some nice jewelry at least. They were relentless. Like they know me better than he does, or something. :rolleyes:

[Anaamika]

It's a stupid, moronic greeting card holiday, wherein men are supposed to go buy jewelry or candy or some other bullshit for somebody else, just to keep the fucking peace. Women don't have any such obligation, of course, other than to offer stony silence if they don't receive some meaningless gift. I retain my right to hate this "holiday" with a seething passion, and ignore it completely.

I bought him a gift. I usually do. And I always ask for flowers because it's fucking February and there's four feet of snow and I am SICK unto death of the cold.

You need to find a better girl, mate.

[kaylasdad99]

I bought kaylasmom a nice bunch of stargazer lilies because fragrance in her flowers is more important to her than color. To me too, frankly.

And some See's truffles, because truffles are yummy, and she's pretty good about sharing. :)