Corn cobs

[Steelwhip]

I was at my local hobby shop when nature called. It was number 1. There on the top of the stool was a "Big Gulp" cup full of corn cobs. Rough as a cob? These actually felt soft... to the finger tips. Did great grandpa actually employ these or just smoke out of em?
Hold on, now I'm getting a vision of someone walking like ....

[Doctor Jackson]

Yep. More progressive great grandpas used two types of cobs, red and white. The process goes:

1. Use one or two red cob(s)
2. Use one white cob to determine whether additional red cob(s) needed.
3. Repeat as necessary.

That'd wipe the smile off Mr. Whipple's face.

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The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. -- E. Grebenik

[Misanthrope]

I can't believe you touched his corn cob!

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D'oh