Everyone still here? Anyone been Raptured?

[Khadaji]

So, we still all here? Anyone have family or friends that were Raptured?

Sadly, I can't even think of anyone to check with - all my friends are going to hell.

[Ca3799]

Still here! But, you are no too late to get to one of the Rapture Parties! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13468131

[Cicero]

After rapture time here and I am still posting :(

[Shirley Ujest]

I would go looting, but those that have been raptured have nothing that I want.

[sandra_nz]

I'm currently in Christchurch, New Zealand. Not even an aftershock to make us feel like somethi g was happening. I am disappoint.

[EvilTOJ]

If anyone were raptured, how would they post to say so?

[Lightnin']

I'm still here. I wonder how many people are going to be sur

[madrabbitwoman]

Bonafide Christian here - nuthin happend here in Oz. Honestly wasn't expecting anything to happen anyway. I am quite sick of folks cornering me about the whole issue and will be happy when it all fades away.

[Morgenstern]

Hello, is anyone else still alive?

[Khadaji]

Bonafide Christian here - nuthin happend here in Oz. Honestly wasn't expecting anything to happen anyway. I am quite sick of folks cornering me about the whole issue and will be happy when it all fades away.
No doubt! It can't be fun to have folks pestering you based on a nutter here.

And I promise I just meant to be having a little fun - I wasn't trying to be offensive.

[Siam Sam]

Say, maybe only those who were Raptuerd see any difference.

[kayaker]

I noticed my neighbors' house was empty this morning. They are very religious people, so I assumed they were taken up. I entered their home and brought their new blue ray player back to my house. Then my gf explained that they left on vacation yesterday. I'm putting the player back. :(

[Siam Sam]

Breaking in a second time would make you a burglar twice over. I'd leave well enough alone and just keep the Blu-ray. Probably God's will anyway.

[Mr. Excellent]

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu ftaghn! Ia! Ia! Cthulhu ftaghn!

[Trepa Mayfield]

I got raptured!

[cmyk]

I've just been raptured. Some turbulence, but not too bad. Heaven has quite a spread, and you wouldn't believe the wet bar. WiFi too. Not too shabby. All the white's a liite obnoxious though.

[twickster]

Uh, people, it's not till 6 PM Eastern time.

I'm meeting a friend at a popular restaurant then -- we don't expect to have to wait for a table.

[Cicero]

That's okay. I get a second chance at being raptured.

[RickJay]

Uh, people, it's not till 6 PM Eastern time.
It's at 6 PM in evry time zone; it was supposed to start on the International Date Line and go from there, hitting every place in the world at 6 PM. As I wrote in my blog (http://rickthegreat.wordpress.com/2011/05/19/saturday-is-rapture-day/), apparently God's plan is the same as Sir Alexander Fleming's.

As it's already well past 6 PM in many parts of the world and the End of Days is not upon us, it appears I still have to pay my Visa bill.

[Musicat]

If anyone were raptured, how would they post to say so?Heavenly Internet, my friend. Rumors are that it's available in Hell, too, but only dialup.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Honestly, I'm surprised. I mean, I did send a force up there, to kill God, but I didn't think they would succeed. The whole thing was kind of rush job, really. I thought I had until 2012, but all the sudden, I hear the end is coming 2011! I only just finished the God killing weapon (forged in black hellfire, tempered by the blood of a corrupted pope, powered by black metal and red thunder) but I didn't have enough soldiers and siege engines to make it past the gates of Heaven. Maybe they just tied Him up for a while. Hopefully I bought enough time time to build another God Slayer and rally a decent sized army... anyone know where I get some more orphan hearts?

[twickster]

Uh, people, it's not till 6 PM Eastern time.



It's at 6 PM in evry time zone; it was supposed to start on the International Date Line and go from there, hitting every place in the world at 6 PM.

:smack:

[Indian]

So, we still all here? Anyone have family or friends that were Raptured?

Sadly, I can't even think of anyone to check with - all my friends are going to hell.


... in the skin of course.

[Ximenean]

Heavenly Internet, my friend. Rumors are that it's available in Hell, too, but only dialup.
The influx of 200 million new users has brought the celestial wireless LAN to a virtual standstill, though. Archangel Dave, responsible for tech support, is looking into it.

[Illuminatiprimus]

Still here, but what did you expect from the board's resident Satanist? If I got raptured there's something seriously wrong with the promotion material that God has been disseminating.

[Unintentionally Blank]

I got raptured!

Me too....and yet, I'm still connected to the same wifi network....puzzling.

[Nancarrow]

I have not been raptured, but I can tell you who has been, and a few hours early by the look of it...


The Parcelforce guy who was supposed to deliver a case of wines this morning. :(

[dangermom]

Me! It's not quite 9am yet here, but I got in early to avoid the rush. It's a lovely day here in beautiful downtown Heaven.

[Markxxx]

The Family Circus (http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/9940/488yh.jpg) has the latest on this

[Wile E]

The bible actually says something to the effect that man will not know God's plan so everytime someone sets a date for the end of the world God won't start the apocalypse just to prove them wrong. So all we need to do is predict the Apocalypse for every day from now on.


Frankly, I don't think God's paying that much attention to us anymore. I think He got tired of playing Sims and moved on to World of Warcraft or something.

[Lightnin']

... and now I'm back online. Yes, I got raptured- pretty annoying, actually, since I was sitting at my computer in just my boxers. After the initial embarrassment, though, it's all worked out well.

It turns out Heaven has a really kick-ass internet connection. St. Peter says most of the angels play Rift, but that some of the newly ascended souls play Left 4 Dead 2 in the afternoon.

[salinqmind]

It's just me, but I personally won't feel comfortable until I actually watch the minute hand sweep past 12 on the clock, at 6 p.m. tonight.

[Rushgeekgirl]

Well this explains why me and my computer desk are both ascending on this pretty white fluffy cloud. . .

Odd too, considering I'm atheist.

[Silver Tyger]

Uh, people, it's not till 6 PM Eastern time.

I'm meeting a friend at a popular restaurant then -- we don't expect to have to wait for a table.

Wow, that's going to make dinner tonight interesting. How am I supposed to explain to my grandparents why my parents suddenly disappeared? Especially considering Grandma is deaf...

[ramel]

I thought I'd been Raptured, but it turned out it was just gas.

[Astroboy14]

I got raptured!

(I got better, though)

[LilyoftheField]

So...what are we saying here? If a bunch of people suddenly disappear today, we're not even going to consider the possibility of alien abduction? I mean - what better time to get your quota of potential anal probees so to speak - in one fell swoop!!! :eek: Is this the end of conspiracy theories as we know them???

I'm troubled...

[Baron Greenback]

Hopefully this isn't region-locked, but here is how the highly regarded UK Channel 4 news ended tonight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1ILGp3JGCQ&feature=channel_video_title

[Canadjun]

Hopefully this isn't region-locked, but here is how the highly regarded UK Channel 4 news ended tonight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1ILGp3JGCQ&feature=channel_video_title

I can get it from here (here being Alberta, not Heaven), and that's hilarious!

[Canadjun]

Well this explains why me and my computer desk are both ascending on this pretty white fluffy cloud. . .


Are you sure a gas main didn't just explode?

[Taomist]

I'm west coast USA, so I have another 5 hours or so.
Time enough to take a plane, fly west, and avoid the whole thing altogether, I'm thinking.

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

My mom and dad ascended to heaven, and all I got was this lousy one-liner.

[Hari Seldon]

You mean god follows time zones. If it were me, I would use sun time. And either sunrise, sunset, or meridional passage. The idea that it follows time zones (which, needless to point out, didn't exist in biblical times) is even more risible than the whole end of days heresy.

Where I am, sunset is not for another three hours or so. I am holding my breath.

[johnpost]

Well this explains why me and my computer desk are both ascending on this pretty white fluffy cloud. . .

Odd too, considering I'm atheist.

cloud computing gives you more power.

[Two Many Cats]

HEY YO YO YO, a'ight, a'ight!
PEACE OUT Y'ALL!!!...

...Oh, 'tured'; rapTURED...

No, I ain't down with that.

[Morgenstern]

Well, the East Coast should disappear in 5 minutes. I'm turning on CNN, I want to see it live.

[maggenpye]

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I'm feeling fine.

[Mosier]

I spent the last five minutes wanking.

Alright, more like 3 minutes.

[johnpost]

Well, the East Coast should disappear in 5 minutes. I'm turning on CNN, I want to see it live.

it's only he rapture for the saved, the end will be 10/21/11

[Taomist]

You mean god follows time zones. If it were me, I would use sun time. And either sunrise, sunset, or meridional passage. The idea that it follows time zones (which, needless to point out, didn't exist in biblical times) is even more risible than the whole end of days heresy.

Where I am, sunset is not for another three hours or so. I am holding my breath.

/total off-topic sidebar

So where, in time, ARE you right now?
Is this a projection?

/total off-topic sidebar

/new off-topic sidebar

Has there been a thread with a Poster + Post = WTF/HAHAHA/I GET IT theme? It could be entertaining. :p

[ugly ripe tomato]

6:24 EDT and I'm still here, but one of my houseplants is missing.

[Boyo Jim]

minus 26 minutes LRT (local Rapture Time) and counting.

[Ximenean]

Remember that they do not observe Daylight Saving Time in Heaven, as far as I know, so the Rapture may be delayed by one hour.

[kittenblue]

It could be that the number of Raptured is actually so small that it has happened and we just haven't noticed. Lots of people go missing every day anyhow.....so we will be lulled into complacency and the BANG!!!! October will be here..... According to a flow chart on Facebook the list of requirements is very stringent...even my minister can't make the cut, having been divorced.

[Trans Fat Og]

So, we still all here? Anyone have family or friends that were Raptured?

Sadly, I can't even think of anyone to check with - all my friends are going to hell.I'm present and unaccounted for.
If anyone were raptured, how would they post to say so?Are you saying that NUMERO UNO is too backward for high-tech at home base?

I'm still here. I wonder how many people are going to be surThat is too clev

The bible actually says something to the effect that man will not know God's plan so everytime someone sets a date for the end of the world God won't start the apocalypse just to prove them wrong. So all we need to do is predict the Apocalypse for every day from now on.Okay, put me down for each first Thursday of the month.

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I'm feeling fine.I had just used that line at a group lunch this morning (Somewhere around 11:30 to 11:35 am, EDT, in case anyone is curious.). Great minds think alike! :)

[ugly ripe tomato]

It could be that the number of Raptured is actually so small that it has happened and we just haven't noticed. Lots of people go missing every day anyhow.....so we will be lulled into complacency and the BANG!!!! October will be here..... According to a flow chart on Facebook the list of requirements is very stringent...even my minister can't make the cut, having been divorced.

As long as it's after October 10th, cause I'm on vacation the week before that.

[Boyo Jim]

Remember that they do not observe Daylight Saving Time in Heaven, as far as I know, so the Rapture may be delayed by one hour.

As we all know, God and Jesus became American citizens, and their time zone is Eastern (the National Cathedral is in DC). If they don't observe Daylight Saving Time, we have 8 minutes to go.

Seriously, I wonder if the nutcase radio guy who bought all the billboards will kill himself and his family tonight. Damn, I wish I knew about this in December when I was making my Death Pool list.

[Shirley Ujest]

If God and Jesus become american citizens, I want to see their birth certificates.


Especially, God's.

[Boyo Jim]

I didn't say they were born in America. What would their birth certificates have to do with it?

Though I confess to wanting to see Jesus's school transcripts. Is it possible to consider omnipotence "cheating" on exams?

[Ximenean]

It could be that the number of Raptured is actually so small that it has happened and we just haven't noticed. Lots of people go missing every day anyhow
That is true. For the life of me I cannot locate my pet hamster. I guess Snowy was more devout than I had appreciated. I did wonder about that bible he was so fond of.

[Shirley Ujest]

I didn't say they were born in America. What would their birth certificates have to do with it?

Though I confess to wanting to see Jesus's school transcripts. Is it possible to consider omnipotence "cheating" on exams?

Ok, so where are they emigrating from?


I want them to get the same hassles that Obama got from the birthers. And then I want the birthers smited.

[Boyo Jim]

I'm not sure, but I think that's "smote". "Smitten" certainly doesn't sound right.

[Trans Fat Og]

Remember that they do not observe Daylight Saving Time in Heaven, as far as I know, so the Rapture may be delayed by one hour.

As we all know, God and Jesus became American citizens, and their time zone is Eastern (the National Cathedral is in DC). If they don't observe Daylight Saving Time, we have 8 minutes to go.

Seriously, I wonder if the nutcase radio guy who bought all the billboards will kill himself and his family tonight. Damn, I wish I knew about this in December when I was making my Death Pool list.

If God and Jesus become american citizens, I want to see their birth certificates.


Especially, God's.

I didn't say they were born in America. What would their birth certificates have to do with it?Soooo... while they would enjoy almost all of the benefits of American citizenship, they would be ineligible to run for President or V.P. Right?

Kinda' ironic. (Don't ya' think?)

[Boyo Jim]

Oh, I think they could "convince" us to make an amendment to the constitution if they get tired of being super heroes and want to take over the whole enchilada.

That would also allow Arnold to become Pres, which he clearly deserves because of his uber-potent sperm.

[Ximenean]

I don't think God would stand a chance, anyway. Not religious enough.

[Trans Fat Og]

Soooo... while they would enjoy almost all of the benefits of American citizenship, they would be ineligible to run for President or V.P. Right?

Oh, I think they could "convince" us to make an amendment to the constitution if they get tired of being super heroes and want to take over the whole enchilada.

I don't think God would stand a chance, anyway. Not religious enough.Well, there's no doubt that that each of them would answer questions from the press in a way so as to make the fundies rather uncomfortable.

I can hear it now:

"Sorry, O Lord and Savior, but I feel that I must vote for a more Christian candidate than you."

:p

[notfrommensa]

FWIW, The most active Volcano in Iceland (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43121772) started to erupt today, causing earthquakes.

Also heard that there was a unexplained power outage at the Minn-St Paul airport today.

Oh dear.

7:50 pm and all is well in my little spot in the midwest.

I did hea

[Unintentionally Blank]

I'm thinking of using 'Didn't rapture' as a part of my vocabulary going forward.

Rode my motorcycle on dirt today (V-twin, slick tires) and didn't rapture!

[runner pat]

West Coast in five minutes.

[Siam Sam]

Many small animals get raptored every day.

[runner pat]

What a let down. All our neighbors are still here.

[Wesley Clark]

I'm not in heaven and I'm not floating upwards but I am naked, so I'm 1/3 of the way there.

[missred]

Damn! About 5:30 local time, clouds began to go dark and it looked like rain. 5:45, the rain started and the wind kicked up. 6:00 the big limb on the tree just off my deck came down and a huge tree in the neighbor's back yard (just across the fence from me) landed on their house. I was beginning to wonder if this nutcase might have been on to something. Naaaahhhhhh! :p

The agnostic and the Druid in my apartment didn't go anywhere, but I did check in on Miss Sarah downstairs, since I hadn't seen her leave for church tonight.


(She didn't get raptured.)

[Digital is the new Analog]

Many small animals get raptored every day.

The really fast ones are velociraptored..

-D/a

[Musicat]

Where's Harold gone? He seems to be rather scarce right now. Think he's gone camping?

[Boyo Jim]

Well, there's no doubt that that each of them would answer questions from the press in a way so as to make the fundies rather uncomfortable.

I can hear it now:

"Sorry, O Lord and Savior, but I feel that I must vote for a more Christian candidate than you."

:p

No. See, God will run as an Old Testament President, and Jesus will run as the New Testament VP. All I can say is, woe be it to anyone who even thinks about voting against them.

[runner pat]

Sloth gets taken up. (http://cuteoverload.com/2011/05/21/why-did-the-sloth-cross-the-road/#comments) :D

[Pandoranoid]

Where's Harold gone? He seems to be rather scarce right now. Think he's gone camping?

Maybe he offed himself? I read somewhere that he made a ton off of this prediction--if that's true, it may make suicide unlikely. But I can hope.

[scootergirl]

Still here. Never expected to be leaving in the first place.

[cmyk]

Maybe he meant a different May 21, 2011?

[Khadaji]

One of my friends put a shirt and pair of pants on his front sidewalk so it looked like he was raptured.

Another said that he filled up his car at a convenience store and when he got home his wallet had been raptured. (Maybe it was a Cross (http://www.amazon.com/Cross-Autocross-AC197-1-Wallet-Collection/dp/B001FA0DU6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1306058918&sr=8-1)?) He figures he is on the standby rapture list and they need his wallet to pre-authorize and confirm his ID.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

I'm not here.

But that's OK.

I was never here....

[LouisB]

I prayed very fervently that our new governor would be taken up to heaven but I don't think it happened. Now I'm fervently praying that he be sent elsewhere.

[missred]

I'm not here.

But that's OK.

I was never here....

Or is that all here? :D

[KRC]

I'm here and so are my parrots, but then if we'd gone up to Heaven we'd spoil the tone of the place. The only strange thing I noticed Sunday morning was that there was an unusually large number of goldfinches in the area, so maybe God finds their incessant warbling and whimpering annoying.

I did hear a couple earthquake noises yesterday but I think it was a neighbor trying to freak the rest of us out by turning up the bass full blast on his car stereo.

[LurkMeister]

Yesterday afternoon I was with a friend who told me that if I was Raptured she was moving into my house. I replied that the only way I would get Raptured would be if there was a serious clerical error somewhere.

[runner pat]

Yesterday afternoon I was with a friend who told me that if I was Raptured she was moving into my house. I replied that the only way I would get Raptured would be if there was a serious clerical error somewhere.

I see what you did there.

[Trans Fat Og]

Maybe he meant a different May 21, 2011?Hey, some of the branches of Eastern Orthodoxy still use the Julian Calendar (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_calendar) (or "Old Style") instead of the globally widespread Gregorian.

Yesterday, Saturday, was only May 8th according to the Julian.

You don't suppose...

[Siam Sam]

I'm not here.

But that's OK.

I was never here....

You can't get there from here.

[aceplace57]

I bet a lot of Homer Simpsons are going D'oh about now.

Some of those rapture folks gave away everything. Quit jobs. Blew their savings. Left their apartments. They are screwed now.

I can imagine the phone calls. Can I have my sofa back? Please? My plates and silverware, do you still have it? My dog can I get him back. :D :D must be some interesting conversations.

[Siam Sam]

Nah, Rapturers are like Birthers. They're going to be True Believers no matter the evidence to the contrary and have already started coming up with excuses.

[Mahaloth]

Here is a live blog while he talks about the whole "no rapture" thingy. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/23/harold-camping-speaks_n_865867.html)

[Trans Fat Og]

Ohhh, SHHHIT! ... Oh well, maybe next time. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9KlMWzKj4s&feature=related)

:p