How do you finish the sentence: "It's so hot that..."

[Chef Troy]

I'll start.

"It's so hot that I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking."

[Living Well Is Best Revenge]

Not exactly the same as your phrase, but I've always liked, "it's hot as balls"

[Bob Ducca]

A snowball just moved its family to Hell.

[picunurse]

It's so hot today, the air smells like ironing.

[Sunspace]

...people are sticking to the roads.

[runner pat]

I saw a roasted turkey fly by.


OK, who's going to be first with the expected line? :D

[Hari Seldon]

The one I always heard was that it was hot enough to fry an egg on the pavement (= sidewalk).

At the other extreme: It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

[Jack Batty]

OK, who's going to be first with the expected line? :D

HOW HOT IS IT?



You're welcome.

[Jack Batty]

I've always enjoyed the colloquialism, which in no way fits to this thread's motif, but fuck it, is ...

Chrissakes, it's hot enough in here to breed sheep.

I don't even really know what it means, but I like it.

[UTejas]

It's so hot that I saw a squirrel blowing on his nuts

[Chef Troy]

Here's another:

"It's so hot today I saw two trees fighting over a dog."

[The Great Sun Jester]

...I set the house on fire just to cool it off.

[Fiddle Peghead]

... I saw a fire hydrant chasing a dog.

[Chef Troy]

A related one:

"It's been so long since it rained that we had to ship the fish to Seattle so they wouldn't forget how to swim."

[Zjestika]

...I am very uncomfortable.

[Moonlitherial]

...I am finally warm!

[lilbug]

Not exactly the same phrase... It's hotter than 3 hells!

[Taomist]

For some reason I saw the thread title and my brain immediately came up with

"It's so hot that my boobs are melting."

Not having fake boobs, I can only imagine that would SUCK.

[Taomist]

The one I always heard was that it was hot enough to fry an egg on the pavement (= sidewalk).




I tried doing this while camping. Apparantly, 115 is not quite hot enough to cook an egg on a rock, darnit.

[Tangent]

It's hotter than a whore's ass on dollar night.

[gregorio]

Spike Lee filmed it best.

"it's too hot to fuck."

[T. Slothrop]

My Saturday Night Special melted before the gunfight.

[twickster]

"Heat, ma'am! it was so dreadful here, that I found there was nothing left for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones." ~Sydney Smith

[StuffLikeThatThere]

It's so hot the flies ain't even bitin'.

[Dolores Reborn]

It's so hot, this happened (http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b109/rmix/giraffe/?action=view&current=melted.jpg).

[twickster]

It's so hot, this happened (http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b109/rmix/giraffe/?action=view&current=melted.jpg).

Love it!

[Jack Batty]

I think the lyrics from A Horse With No Name sums it up nicely:

"The heat was hot."

[Patty O'Furniture]

From some comedian many years ago, I can't remember who but I've used the line so much I consider it mine now: it's so hot, birds are bursting into flames in mid-air and nuns are cursing openly on the streets.

[Shoeless]

One of my favorite David Letterman "It's so hot" jokes from many years back.

"It's so hot, fat guys are making their own gravy!"

[Ogre]

It's hotter than two rats fuckin' in a wool sock.

[cochrane]

...the Statue of Liberty was asked to please lower her right arm.

[lieu]

... I tried to piss but it evaporated before it hit the ground.

... granny was breaking wind just to have a little breeze.

[Oakminster]

Here's another:

"It's so hot today I saw two trees fighting over a dog."

A local variant of that one is:

"It's so hot, the trees are bribing the dogs."

[PunditLisa]

"...you could fry an egg on my head."

[Voyager]

Spike Lee filmed it best.

"it's too hot to fuck."

Cole Porter beat him to it.

[Voyager]

... Sarah Palin decided to be a Mama naked mole rat.

... even Rush believes in global warming.

... people are walking around with oven mitts instead of socks.

... the fire ants are really on fire.

Yes, I watched years of Johnny Carson.

[gregorio]

meh, the f bomb hit my ears a little harder than "It's too darn hot"

Plus I've seen Do The Right Thing, and I haven't seen Kiss Me Kate.

Cole Porter beat him to it.

[lorene]

I saw a roasted turkey fly by.


OK, who's going to be first with the expected line? :D

As God is my witness, I thought someone would have posted it by now.

[crewface]

Hotter than a 4balled billy goat.
It is not hot, it just does not take me long to look at a horseshoe.
It is not hot, but is really heavy.
It is so hot that canada melted and filled in the great lakes with French pudding.
It is so hot that Al Gore landed one of his jets, sold the rest of his carbon credits and drove his caravan of suv's north and discovered the North Pole. Yes he did! Santa said so.

[Icarus]

Whenever we have any kind of extreme weather I always say the same thing....

"Damn you Al Gore!"

[BrassyPhrase]

For some reason I saw the thread title and my brain immediately came up with

"It's so hot that my boobs are melting."

Not having fake boobs, I can only imagine that would SUCK.

Where I used to work, the servers that run the entire store were in our office and the a/c was not adequate. My coworker and I had tried everything, but we would hear from the HO "The readout says it's blowing sixty degrees in there"

At one point, my coworker screamed at someone "Look! You have two sweatyboobied women working in here!! We can't take it!!!"

That and an email to a higher manager? Suddenly a new a/c.

:D

[Chef Troy]

Where I used to work, the servers that run the entire store were in our office and the a/c was not adequate. My coworker and I had tried everything, but we would hear from the HO "The readout says it's blowing sixty degrees in there"

At one point, my coworker screamed at someone "Look! You have two sweatyboobied women working in here!! We can't take it!!!"

That and an email to a higher manager? Suddenly a new a/c.

:DYeah, I had a manager once for whom the idea of boobies often led to lowering the AC. He didn't agree with the conventional wisdom that it's rude to point.

[1000101]

It's hotter than the Devil's dick in a pair of heated Speedos.

[Wargamer]

It's so hot I saw a bird pull a worm out of the ground with an oven mitt.

[pravnik]

It's so hot the cows are giving evaporated milk.

It's so hot the cornfield popped.

It's so hot Astros fans are taking the bags off of their heads.

[CookingWithGas]

Not my line but I always remember the line from Good Morning Vietnam

"It's hot! Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my
shorts. I could cook things in it.
A little crotch pot cooking."

[Ibanez]

It's so hot ... I can fry eggs on my Camaro (http://2012-camaros.info/images/camaro_5.jpg)

[pravnik]

It's so hot Astros fans are taking the bags off of their heads.Incidentally, this can also be worded as "It's so hot, yo daddy took the bag off yo mamma's head," thus acheiving double points for the rare "it's so hot/yo mamma" joke perfecta.

[rebelson]

It's hotter than two foxes fuckin' in a forest fire.