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Fionn
02-28-2001, 10:48 PM
What commercials give you an urge to throw the remote through the TV screen? Any commercial featuring the little Pepsi girl are automatically assumed, but luckily I haven't seen her on TV lately. Now she just taints my movie-going experiences.
-Any recent Taco Bell commercials. What ad agency are they using for Chrissakes? I hated the "Zesty!" guys, then along came the "We will rock you" idiots, now I am repeatedly forced to watch a bunch of jackasses say "Steak!"
-M&M's most recent commercial, featuring the yellow M&M getting eaten by a toddler. This is just plain disturbing.
Is its release with Hannibal a coincidence?
-The new Coke ad campaign, featuring people dancing in the woods with pithy messages on the bottom of their cans. I like the music in the latest one, but it just seems like a bad way to sell soda. Does anyone really believe people are going to take Coke along for a night of dancing in the woods?

Eo Echo
02-28-2001, 10:58 PM
I don't even need to see the commercials for Pepsi and Taco Bell to inspire feelings of teeth grinding hatred. The products themselves do that just fine.

I can't stand the Volkswagen commercial with the car in the tree. It makes me want to throw my shoe at the TV.

PlanMan
02-28-2001, 11:00 PM
Hmmm.... seems like there was a similar thread a few weeks ago ... but it didn't show up in a 10-day search ...

But since I'm HERE ...

The KIA commercial with the moron who doesn't realize he just bought a car (Who's car is that in the driveway?) But if he has that attitude about the payments, he won't have his Korea-mobile for long. Couldn't happen to a more deserving idiot.

poohpah chalupa
02-28-2001, 11:07 PM
Just about any beer commercial (and that's pretty much all of them) that depicts guys as being shallow, oafish, immature slobs.

...not that it isn't mostly true, but jeeez, do I need to be reminded every other minute?

Mercutio
02-28-2001, 11:09 PM
What are YOU Doing?!

Airbeck
02-28-2001, 11:27 PM
two words ...

Miss Cleo, that psychic, tarot card over the phone reading, Jamaican accent having #*%#@*$@!!!!!

Sorry, I just really hate that whole concept. How can you get a tarot card reading over the PHONE?!? How do you know what cards she is pulling, or if she even has a deck for crying out loud? I have to either mute the tv or change the channel when her ads come on.

Caliban
03-01-2001, 12:33 AM
All of them!

Mercutio
03-01-2001, 12:57 AM
Originally posted by Airbeck
Miss Cleo, that psychic, tarot card over the phone reading, Jamaican accent having #*%#@*$@!!!!!

Dem tarot, dey neve' lie!
That's pure tea-very! Why you Tea-ven?!
My young ones, they tell me, Miss Cle-o, you keep it rreeel and that's what I do, I keep it rreeel!

Louie
03-01-2001, 01:28 AM
There's a commerical on AT&T cable shown at least 3 times a day. It's set in a high school reunion and these people are talking about the guy that was the most popular in the class, naming off all his accomplishments. The last thing one of them says is that he steals cable. The band in the reunion then plays a song, which pretty much lets the popular guy know that he's a cable thief, embarrassing him in front of everyone.

At the end, the announcer man says "No one like a cable thief, legalize your cable connection today." What the fuck! :mad: I pay for the cable and they're accusing me of stealing it!

Keko
03-01-2001, 01:45 AM
Those damn Verizon wireless commercials! (Maybe they're only on the west coast?) The girl who sings the 'verizon song' makes me want to rip my eardrums out with my thumbnails!

OneChance
03-01-2001, 02:06 AM
Those stupid cruise commercials where two women are chatting in some everyday setting. "Oh, it was so romantic." blah blah blah. Too bad the ship didn't go down.

The EarthLink commercial where the characters are shown as red drawings. It has it all: The stereotypical black guy who I'd like to smack right in the face, the stereotypical giggling teenagers, the stereotypical female computer idiot.

ericj900
03-01-2001, 02:35 AM
Originally posted by poohpah chalupa
Just about any beer commercial (and that's pretty much all of them) that depicts guys as being shallow, oafish, immature slobs.

...not that it isn't mostly true, but jeeez, do I need to be reminded every other minute?

Not as much as those horrid Carl's Junior commercials with a couple of mooks talking with their mouths full. You know "munch, munch --- cheese paper, garf,munch, grr". "Burger, fries, and a coke. don't bother me, I'm eating. Watchoo lookin at, faggot? I'ma kick your ass. M'fuggin real men eat m'fuggin beef, aight?"

And then they have the one where they try to legitimize the whole concept by having some hot chick stuffing her face with some huge burger and dripping ketchup and grease everywhere.

I used to eat there a lot. But now I can't, because those commercials literally make me sick.

Dijon Warlock
03-01-2001, 04:20 AM
SpriteTM's rapping giant heads campaign. It took about four of them before I could even remember what the hell they were selling. They would not, however, be improved by someone rhythmically spitting in the background for accompaniment.
"Thbppt-thp-phbth-BPPPTHH-pth-thbppt-thp-phbth-BPPPTHH..."

Kayeby
03-01-2001, 06:40 AM
I hate commercials where, for some unknown reason, they dub over the original voices. It just looks so fake and I can never concentrate on the commercial - I just keep staring at their lips and wondering what sub-standard advertising company put out this drivel. I mean, it's not like there are incredible special effects or anything; more often than not, it's a woman holding an item up and commenting on it. A multi-million dollar company doesn't have enough money to redo that advertisment???

Typo Negative
03-01-2001, 07:09 AM
The one with lady lawyer & herbal shampoo. The judge says 'I urge you to continue', which is enough to send the bubble head off into fantasyland where her hair is washed in herbal essence by the dancing boys in black t-shirts singing 'She's got the urge to herbal'!!!!!


Darn you for making me think of it!

:D

ladybug
03-01-2001, 09:03 AM
Originally posted by spooje
The one with lady lawyer & herbal shampoo. The judge says 'I urge you to continue', which is enough to send the bubble head off into fantasyland where her hair is washed in herbal essence by the dancing boys in black t-shirts singing 'She's got the urge to herbal'!!!!!

Damn, spooje, you beat me to it! :D There are a few versions of that commercial now and I hate them all. I can't hit the mute button fast enough when I see one.

Grrr ... now I'm gonna have that ad stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

wring
03-01-2001, 09:17 AM
One that creeps me out (and I can't tell why) is a car commercial with a kid leaning towards the camera and whispering "zoom zoom" and cue the music "zoom zoom zoom"

I couldn't even tell you which car it's advertising.

Yardstick
03-01-2001, 09:30 AM
I Thought the Taco Bell "Steak" Commercial was much better than the stupid Dog by a damn sight.

I used to live in Massachusetts and there was a regional Furniture company "Bob's Discount Furniture", sure the guy sold quality furniture at discount prices, but did he have sound so g-d frickin annoying in the commercials, he had this high whiney voice, and these stupid commercials with dancing and talking living room sets.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE GIVE IT UP BOB!!!!!

Shylock
03-01-2001, 09:46 AM
I recently moved to Connecticut...my wife and I were astounded at the "Bob's Discount Furniture" commercials. Now they mostly seem to just be him talking about how great he and his stores are...no dancing furniture.

But the stunning thing is the sheer amount of commercial time he buys. He runs commercials (on the radio too) NON-STOP. I mean, it's like "ok, Bob, I get the friggin' picture - you sell discount furniture. You don't have to hammer it home 24/7 - you're annoying as hell."

If you live in the NE, you will never see or hear a company advertised as much as this guy - and I'm talking more thanr the Coke/McDonald's/GM companies.

Borborygmi
03-01-2001, 09:49 AM
I think the name of the company is Cellular One. Ugh to the whole campaign, highlighted by a commercial in which a young man comes out as "using cellular" at a big family dinner.

The campaign first got under my skin during the Summer Olympics, when the ad with the guy who "got caught using cellular" behind the barn by his father was on practically EVERY commercial break. Come to think of it, NBC's coverage of the Olympics was a really annoying commercial, but I'm not sure for what.

Skelji
03-01-2001, 10:04 AM
There's a commercial for this CD full of stupid kiddie songs, and it must be 2 minutes long. They play samples of almost every friggin' song on the cd - "London Bridges", "Here We Go Loopy-Loo" (or whatever it's called), "Where Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone", etc.

Every damn song has the same group of maybe 20 kids singing, and it's just the same droning over and over. I bolt for the remote when it comes on.

That stupid Glade Scented Oil commercial. Hate it. "Shut it off, shut it off!"

And of course, that horrid Cottenelle commercial, with the roll of toilet paper portrayed by a fake British female voice. I'd rather hear that type of British accent used for the finer things in commercials, not a stupid roll of toilet paper imploring you to "use" her. Why not just have the voice come right out and say,
[fake British accent]
"Dear Sir or Madam: Please tear off a piece of me, jam me between your boo-tocks, and smear me with your feces."
-or-
"Please drag me between your labia until I am soaked with urine."
[/fake British accent]

Shadesofgreen6
03-01-2001, 11:42 AM
The antismoking commercials with those smug guys supposedly confronting and embarrassing tobacco executives. I smoke and I'd love to pay a visit to WholeTruth with a baseball bat.

Any commercial with a sports player in it because I don't like any professional sports and am real tired of sports people showing up everywhere.

That bear doing his business in the woods toilet paper commercial! Rank!

YES! That car commercial also with the suited little kid, looking somehow foreign, like maybe Italian, or English, whispering zoom-zoom. I dislike the song too!

Any psychic (psy-SICK) commercial, but especially those by that Jamaican gibbering Miss Cleo. She has a laugh that is more like the bray of a jackass. Ever noticed that?

Any commercial displaying white guys as pot bellied, dull, stupid, single-minded morons, usually interested only in sports and beer. There was one with some guy with a big pot in a brightly colored short, stupid shorts, shoes and socks, ponderously dancing around to some idiotic song.

Every social security death benefit supplementary insurance commercial.

TheNerd
03-01-2001, 12:04 PM
Sprite's been really bad recently. I can tell the demographic they're going for, but do they have to alienate everyone else?

"Obey your thirst" was fine.

The pretentious bad amateur rap is awful. I think I've seen 3 of these now, and it's like a train wreck.

The one about winning rocketcash a little while ago always made me mute the tv. You know the one, with the "cool" kid drinking sprite, and his HUGE ugly mother comes home and starts nagging him about how he'll never get anywhere just "sittn 'roun drinkin' Sprite ah day!" Her voice made my cats run out of the room.

betenoir
03-01-2001, 01:44 PM
Have you seen the Martin Short promos on A&E?

All of them are creepy but at least his other targets make sense But the one about Abraham Lincoln.

"Four score and seven years ago...blah, blah, blah. I bet that's how you thought I sounded. (shifts into a ridiculous accent)In fact I was some much more casual than that...I always wanted to be...a dancer!"

Right. ...liberty., blah, blah, blah...all men created equal, blah, blah, blah.
A SPEECH CONSECRECRATING GROUND TO FALLEN SOLDIERS.
Yeah, just the right subject for your showbiz humor, Martin. Fuck you, Martin.

xizor
03-01-2001, 03:47 PM
I am not even sure of the product, it might be for jeans. But the commercial shows these no talent goobers one at a time on a stage singing "Karma Chameleon". Not only is that a crappy song, but the actors are singing it out of tune, flat and sound so irritating.

Fionn
03-01-2001, 04:22 PM
>And of course, that horrid Cottenelle commercial, with the >roll of toilet paper portrayed by a fake British female >voice.

I knew there were commercials I was forgetting. A few years back a toilet paper company actually ran an ad featuring cartoon women quilting toilet paper that boasted their brand produced less lint. What possessed them to make this a point in the ad? Were people writing letters? For whom is butt lint a major concern?

Ooner
03-01-2001, 04:50 PM
Almost every local advertisement is painful to watch. There is a reason big companies hire big advertising agencies: They know what they are doing! Why would anyone assume that they know how to write and produce a commercial that's worth a damn.

A couple examples:

Tires Unlimited: Local tire guy has his remarkably ugly kids working in his tire store. Ends with some joke about someone calling and asking for him to brink home a carton of milk. Ha, his wife called him at work. That's some funny shit.

Some windshield place: This one is even worse. There's some old lady (probably about 70 years old) standing there for one shot, probably about 30 seconds, pitching windshield replacement. The only technical work in it is the word "FREE" flashing at the bottom of the screen. If you don't have a big advertising budget, stick to newspapers!

As far as nationwide ad campaigns go:

The Truth: Back off, you misinformed tobacco nazis. Leave those poor bastards at Philip Morris alone, they're just trying to make a living by providing millions of people with a product that they really want to purchase.

Pepsi: That pepsi girl is NOT cute. She is NOT funny, and more importantly, she is NOT an actress (has anyone seen that pile of crap movie "Beautiful"?) The voiceover stuff sucked, and the new stuff with her sucks even more. That commercial from a few months ago with Einstein contemplating the dillemma of having to choose between Coke and Pepsi? Gimme a fucking break.

Taco Bell: That dog kicked ass for about 3 commercials. Then he get real boring. The new campaign is even worse. Just do like the other restaurants: show the product, explain the product, show the logo, have a nice day.

Cingular: Or something like that. If you've seen the commercials, you know how boring they are.

Cleo: Maybe I'm out of line here, but I hate that bitch with a passion. How dare she invade my home during every commercial break from every show to pitch her tarot reading abilities. And that fake accent is supposed to make her more believable? Oh, she's from Jamaica, of course she's got magical psychic abilities! Someone needs to put a voodoo curse on her tarot-reading ass.

The Wazzup guys: Yeah, it was funny. Once. Now it's not. It's that simple. I do sort of like the "what are you doing" ad though.

That's all I can think of now, but I'm sure as soon as I get home and turn on the TV, there will be 100,000 more examples.

Cyberhwk
03-01-2001, 05:50 PM
Well, they all suck, except most ESPN commercials, but are my worst:

#2 The Ortho-Tricyclen commercial-

In particular, the part where the third blond interrupts with, "and just look at my skin." "Oh how fantastic!! We all use the same birth control WHAT A COINCIDENCE!!!" . . . . . Shut up!

#1 The PSA where the kid shoots Omar.

I can't really say much about this without offending people and being really insensitive.

nineiron
03-01-2001, 05:53 PM
Anything with a digitally-created (or enhanced) talking baby. You know--the ones where the oh-so-cute real-life kid has an animated mouth and a grown up voice. Maybe it was cute or creative or innovative the first time it was done, but enough already!

Jadis
03-01-2001, 06:06 PM
....because, you see, I've just been biding my time until I had the proper forum to complain about my biggest commercial pet peeve of all time. :D

It has to do with the pets.com commercials. Yes, I know that pets.com went out of business, so they're not on anymore, but dang it, when they were on, they annoyed the crap out of me. Do you remember these? With the sock puppet holding the microphone? There was one where he was ringing an apartment buzzer incessantly, and saying "I have an appointment to play with the tabby cat"?

OK....that's not the part that annoys me. Actually, I thought that the commercials themselves were golden. It was the very end that would always get me. You see, pets.com was pushing this concept that you needed to shop for pet products online (here's the annoying part) "because pets can't drive".

WAKE UP, GENIUSES!! Pets can't surf the fookin' internet either.

Grrrrrr.......

Lsura
03-01-2001, 06:14 PM
There's a local automobile dealer Maxie Price...every commercial ends with "They're dancing in Monroe and Loganville". And the tune sticks in your head all day long.

Any commercial for a "Cash Advance" or "Payday Loan" company that starts with someone thinking about all that they have to pay for...then "Wait!! Wanda told me about this great place. All I have to do is write them a check, and they'll give me cash until payday". They're just lame.

On a side note, I saw someone today wearing a "Make 7...Up Yours" t-shirt today, and I just grinned. :D

Rosebud
03-01-2001, 06:21 PM
The Toyota TV Guy makes me crazy. I'm not sure I've ever hated an ad campaign as much as I hate that one (not counting, of course, the Pepsi girl). I was way too happy when they started running the "TV Guy's funeral" ads, although having to look at other TV People was just as bad. Now it turns out they're running "TV Guy in Heaven" ads, which are both annoying and patently untrue as we all know that TV Guy would go straight to the darkest bowels of Hell. At least he would if I was in charge of these things. And I should be.

PlanMan
03-01-2001, 06:34 PM
The Viagra commercial where the guy changes clothes about a jillion times before going to the doctor. What's up with that? Does he have a medical appointment or a date?

There's a local (I think) tire store commercial where the point is that you can return tires. It shows someone made up to look like a "little old lady" heaving a tire thru their plate glass window. Now, how do you think they would react if someone actually did return a tire that way? "Sorry, your warranty is void because you deliberately damaged your tire with glass shards."

I know there are more, but that's all for now.

By the way, I heard recently they are bringing by Joe Subaru!

PlanMan
03-01-2001, 06:45 PM
ALL prescription drug ads. Lots about the "good" effects, a dismissive list of some of the "bad" effects (some patients may experience shortness of breath, stomach distress, or death), and a referral to buy some magazine to read the two pages of 6-point type of all the side effects, contra-indications, etc.

Most of us lay-folk are not qualified to make a decision about what Rx to take, and I bet it really bugs doctors to have patients coming in and demanding such-and-such a drug because it had a good TV ad.

bouv
03-01-2001, 06:57 PM
I have to say that the worst commercials I see are for a local furniture/bedding store. I have noticed a trend, though. If a store sells furniture, and they have TV ads, the TV ads will be lame. Anyway,

The commercials are for Resnick's Mattress Outlet. They are all over New York and southern Vermont. The commercials are lame. The owner, in pajamas, doing bad 80's white rap, or water-skiing on a mattress, flying on a mattress, driving a mattress, etc...

Also, the video quality is so bad. I know my video camera at home has better quality. Plus, he has to point to spots on the screen where words pop up, and he NEVER points to where the words are. Granted, he doesn't know where the words will be, but they are put there AFTER the video is shot. It's like whatever half-assed teeneage audio-video club member put the words there made them in the wrong place to spite this guy. I know I would.

Smeghead
03-01-2001, 07:05 PM
The ones that really set my teeth on edge are the ones where they try to play on my emotions and connect their product to some positive, nostalgic image. See every Fred Meyer commercial ever. Those bastards!!!! Pant, pant. Sorry. I really hate those.

Currently, it's the Pillsbury frickin' bread-in-a-can commercials. The tag line is "From my heart to yours" or some such drivel. Yes, that's so sweet. Merry Christmas, I love you. Here, have some crappy biscuits I just popped out of a can and threw in the over. Because I love you That Much. Honestly, I think they truly believe that they can connect any product to any positive emotion with no rhyme or reason. It's not long until we see a member of a loving family get up from Thanksgiving dinner to use the bathroom that's well stocked with Cotonelle. Damn it.

Jeep's Phoenix
03-01-2001, 07:47 PM
The College Foundation of North Carolina: This one features children gyrating around computer-generated images, web site addresses, college names, etc. I'm still trying to figure out the point.

Any commercial for "Survivor."

Glade: One commerical of theirs from the early '90s that I really hated featured children singing "How'd ya get those flowers in there? Glade Potpourii is freshnin' the air!"

Kroger: Specifically, their radio commercials. This lady is singing in a VERY high-pitched voice, "There's a GREAT way to save at your Kroger store, starting with a CARD that always gives you more." The full song lasts close to two minutes.

Rosebud
03-01-2001, 09:00 PM
Originally posted by bouv
The commercials are for Resnick's Mattress Outlet. They are all over New York and southern Vermont. The commercials are lame. The owner, in pajamas, doing bad 80's white rap, or water-skiing on a mattress, flying on a mattress, driving a mattress, etc...

bouv!

I know that guy! He started his business in the city I grew up in (Newburgh, NY-- as far as I know, that's where the first store was). I think my family still has to watch his ads, 'cause he still has a store in the area.

I went to junior high with his daughter (though she moved away before we finished), and I used to wonder what it must be like to be 13 years old and have all your friends seeing your dad dance in his jammies on TV. Not to mention the billboard featuring him in cartoon form, with a head thrice the size of his body.

Renton_lvr
03-01-2001, 09:34 PM
I only saw this commercial once but I think it's worth mentioning. It was for a little golfing/putting range that you play while you're sitting on the toilet...and they show all these men and women sitting on the toilet all smiles playing it. It's a total K-Tel/Weedwacker/Didi-7 style of commercial. At first I thought it was a SNL skit but it was dead serious.

I also want to second the Spawn of Satan Children sing-a-long that someone mentioned. I especially hate the snotty kid with the chef's hat that comes on during the muffin man song.

All McCain commercials are horrid (I think they only show in Canada). A couple of years ago my roomate and I were wasted and wrote an e-mail to them complaining about how bad their ads were...particularly the Pizza Pops ones. We really layed into them and then 2 months later they put out a new ad for Pizza Pops with all these hip kids standing around eating them and saying "Man...what's with those stupid commercials." The tagline was "Old commercial gone...Old box gone...Same great taste." Coincidence? I think not.

elmwood
03-01-2001, 09:50 PM
Every major metropolitan area has a business that is universally despised for their obnoxious television commercials.

In Buffalo, it was Pat Gambino Ford (http://www.hi-mom.com), a "legitimate business" whose ads now made me cringe when I hear Buffalo accents. ("Hi Maahm! Ninety-nine down, ninety-nine uh munt!")

Rochester has Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro (http://ogre.lib.muohio.edu/scissors/hammer.avi), a screaming lawyer who talks about severing heads and bleeding scumbags dry. Call 1-800-546-77-77 for a free appointment!

Denver has Dealin' Doug, a car dealer who wears a ring in every one of his fat little fingers.

Here in Orlando, I'm beginning to think the Appliances Direct commercials are the worst -- an Asian girl in a room filled with refrigerators screams "APPLIANCES DIRECT!" IF YOU BOUGHT APPLIANCES ANYWHERE ELSE, YOU PAID TOO MUCH! APPLIANCES DIRECT!" Her father then comes on the screen, and says pretty much the same thing, from the roof of EVERY DAMN STORE THEY HAVE. The commercials are about a minute or so long.

elmwood
03-01-2001, 09:58 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Shadesofgreen6

Any commercial displaying white guys as pot bellied, dull, stupid, single-minded morons, usually interested only in sports and beer. There was one with some guy with a big pot in a brightly colored short, stupid shorts, shoes and socks, ponderously dancing around to some idiotic song.
[QUOTE]

Usually, in those commercials, the pot-bellied, dull, stupid, single-minded moronic white guys have attractive, thin, intelligent Homecoming Queen-type wives.

Yup. Umm hmm.

voguevixen
03-02-2001, 02:17 AM
Originally posted by Jadis
It has to do with the pets.com commercials. Yes, I know that pets.com went out of business, so they're not on anymore, but dang it, when they were on, they annoyed the crap out of me. Do you remember these? With the sock puppet holding the microphone? There was one where he was ringing an apartment buzzer incessantly, and saying "I have an appointment to play with the tabby cat"?



Oh sweet Jesus...I hated those with a passion. "Oh look, a thing! It's a stuffed thing!!!" SHUT UP! I laughed my ass off when I heard they went bankrupt (then I felt bad, because they donated all their unsold animal food to Best Friends pet sanctuary, oh well!)

The latest one that is absolutely foul is a commercial for a local car dealership. (I know, I know...those are SUPPOSED to be bad) but this one seriously takes the cake! It's the third in a series so far that I know of, where a "newscaster" reports of breaking news at the car dealership. The first one is semi-amusing...the president's motorcade is stopping at the car lot to check out the deals, and shows the reporter swarming with secret servicemen...then second commercial is the usual stupidity: "aliens have landed at Fremont Ford seeking the best deal in the galaxy!" or something like that (Not sure if that's the dealership or not...aren't they all the same?!) But the most recent one is 100% evil. The "newscaster" reports that there are possibly spies in the Bay Area and they cut to the car showroom where there are two pathetic women in faux-MOD dresses gyrating to 60's music, and some pitiful 50-year-old guy wearing a velvet suit, beatle wig and hornrimmed glasses says "swinging, baby, YEAH!" The worst part is, they actually put at the bottom of the screen "celebrity images impersonated" ROFL! No shit? I thought that fat, old fart was really Mike Meyers!!!! DUHHHH! I about fell out of my chair at that one! Oy! They always seem to show these commercials during the Simpsons...not fair!

Typo Negative
03-02-2001, 06:01 AM
Originally posted by Dire Wolf
[fake British accent]
"Dear Sir or Madam: Please tear off a piece of me, jam me between your boo-tocks, and smear me with your feces."
-or-
"Please drag me between your labia until I am soaked with urine."
[/fake British accent]

I just had to explain to my co-workers why I was laughing so hard with tears in my eyes. Darn you, Dire Wolf!:D

Shadesofgreen6
03-02-2001, 09:05 AM
What is it with feminine hygiene products being graphically advertised right when I decide to eat supper? D'you know what that does to the taste of anything with tomato sauce on it?

Same with those commercials about stinky feet products. They have all day to show those things but seem to target the times I settle down to enjoy a meal. Hemorrhoidal medication commercials don't go well with cheese whiz. Ever sprinkle Parmesan cheese on something and grab a bite just when they get all graphic about stinky feet? Parm cheese is a bit strong anyhow, but those commercials just blow it for a while.

It's either those or the ever popular disposable diaper commercials.

PlanMan
03-02-2001, 07:04 PM
I just hate it when I'm in the car listening to the radio (about the only place I do this) and a commercial comes on with sound effects like a siren, or blowing car horns, screeching tires, etc. Always have to look around to see what calamity is about to befall me.

I'm generally against censorship (after all, one of my presets is the home station of "Lex and Terry") - but when it comes to traffic sounds, especially sirens, I favor an outright ban.

Lazarus7
03-02-2001, 07:08 PM
That nasty irritating bastard who advertises for Glosettes before movies !!!

I used to love Glosette raisins (and still do) but I cannot buy that as to do so would lend support to that festering ball of maggot droppings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Runadoc
03-02-2001, 08:16 PM
By far the commercial I hate the most is the one with
Baxter the cat, meow meow meow, Someone should deduct
all 9 lives from that little phone dialing furball.

Runadoc
03-02-2001, 08:23 PM
Okay, it's Poysyn in the clever disguise of my mom. I hate this commercial

"Hello. It's Patrick, he just took out life insurance..."


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sparklo
03-02-2001, 09:15 PM
There is a relatively new pill out that treats yeast infections. Now, that's all well and good, but for the tagline, they chose "Kiss your creams goodbye!" All I can say is "Eewwwww". (For those who don't know, the other option for treating this type of infection is a messy...um..."topical" cream. Juxtapose that with kissing, and you see my point.)

coming up for air
03-02-2001, 11:24 PM
They start off with a stupid premise or generalites, and you don't even know what kind of product it is.
You have to wait until the very end to hear that, and then they rush it, so you can't possibly remember the name, or connect it with anything.

Ben
03-03-2001, 12:11 AM
Originally posted by nineiron
Anything with a digitally-created (or enhanced) talking baby. You know--the ones where the oh-so-cute real-life kid has an animated mouth and a grown up voice. Maybe it was cute or creative or innovative the first time it was done, but enough already!

Shudder... those kinds of things always make me think of "Demon Seed." "I LIVE!"

I have to second a few of the ones mentioned here- Carl's Jr. being the commercial which turns my stomach most of all. Someone already mentioned the Karaoke "Our Town" commercials too.

In American commercials, I would have to vote for those $#%#@ "Boing" commercials. It just seems to me that here is the "It's cool! Buy it!" philosophy in its purest form. What kind of shoe is it? How is it supposed to be an improvement over any other shoe? Does it even look cool? Does the shoe even go "boing"? No- the shoe has nothing going for it except the fact that every time I turn around, I see the word "boing" or hear that horrible "jowng jowng jowng" sound. Around here, half the buses have Boing ads on them! It's like the way Strom Thurmond keeps getting elected- he just saturates the media with so many ads that no one can think of anything but his dessicated self. And then there's the "Buh... Oing... Buhoing" Sesame Street ripoff. It seems to me that some corporate pinhead decided that the strategy for this quarter would be to design some shoe to look distinctive, and then to make an overwhelming ad campaign to convince everyone that they had to have the kind of shoe that only Nike produces (for the moment, anyway- next year all the shoe companies will no doubt be making them.) (You might ask how this differs from the old "Just Do It" ads. The difference is that the old ads were more entertaining to watch, and I didn't have to hear that horrible sound. Shudder... Mr. Nike should be locked in solitary as that sound plays on an endless loop.)

I also have a real beef with emotionally manipulative commercials, which, oddly enough, seem to be most common on the radio. Much as I sympathize with what they're trying to accomplish, if I'm having a particularly nice day I don't want to hear a saccharine recording of "I love you mommy! I love you daddy!" followed by "Little Michael Wilson... killed by a drunk driver." It's just plain creepy and, FYI, I don't even drink, nor do I use WildestBill's Mexican Fat Burners. These radio ads to go rather elaborate lengths: "Mike Smith and Tina Jones. They fell in love in high school. They waited about getting married until they graduated. Then they waited until they graduated from college. Then they waited until they graduated from graduate school. Then, before they could get married, they were killed... by a drunk driver." Excuse me, but isn't the clear moral here that "he who hesitates is lost"?

The worst example of this was a British TV commercial which showed a woman crying as she watched a videotape of her daughter. She would watch a few seconds of "I love you mommy!", rewind, and watch it over and over again while sobbing uncontrollably and muttering "Oh, love, I'm so sorry" to her television. The screen (mine, not hers) then switches to a picture of a smoke detector as the voice-over intones, "It's easier to replace a battery."

I mean, criminy! Isn't this taking things a little far? Yes, people should put batteries in their smoke detectors. But try this on for size:

The scene: a fancy restaurant. A clean cut yuppie couple sits chatting when suddenly a waiter arrives with a tray covered with one of those silver dome covers. "Oh, our steak is here!" Suddenly the waiter whips off the cover to reveal... a dripping, bloody five pounds of greasy arterial plaque!

What, you don't like my idea for a commercial? Don't you know that meat kills more people than faulty smoke detectors?

I think the worst commercial of all time might be the billboard ad that the local pro-lifers ran in Providence, RI for a while. It was a picture of a pretty little political footb- I mean, a little girl, who was missing an arm. It turns out that the girl was the result of a horribly botched illegal abortion, which is why she's being presented as a potent symbol of the need to outlaw abortion. :rolleyes:

-Ben

Dr_Xadium
03-03-2001, 04:38 AM
There are lots of commercials I hate others have mentioned already, but I just have to vent my spleen anyway. Sorry for any redundancy.

One - the Mickey Rooney commericals from Garden State life. I hate seeing a once-great actor like Rooney brought down to the point where he has to shill life insurance. It just hurts. I wish I had a million bucks to just *give* him so he could retire with dignity.

Two - Miss Cleo the Psychic. How the heck does tarot over the *phone* work, anyway? My understanding of the art was the subject has to draw from the deck for the thing to be effective. Whenever she comes on, I put on my best Islands accent (not hard since my family is from around there) and do the following routine:

Announcer: What does the future hold for you?
Me-as-Cleo: "De cards be sayin' dat you gon be losin' some money soon, sugah... cuz' after you don talk ta me, ya phone bill gon be higher dan de national deficit."

Speaking of which, do the victi--err, callers even get to speak to *her* or just some Cleo minion?

Three: The Sprite Rap commericals. If someone got up in my face and started spouting off like that for no reason... arrgh.

Four: The Phillip Morris Smoking commericals. They are so hypocritical. None of them ever say "don't smoke because it kills you" Instead, they imply kids should be able to *choose*. Think about it. All the kids shown do variants of the following:

"Like, I thought about it, and said I didn't want to, you know." or "Why don't I... because of my [insert trite noun here]"

It makes it sound like it's OK for kids to smoke if they think on it hard enough. I thought the point of the settlment ehich gave rise to the ads was to actually *deter* them from lighting up.

Five: Anything with the Riddler (err, I mean Matthew Lesko) in it. He just has that ability to subconciously irk me.

(I swear he shot that commercial in front of the capitol-looking building on the sly--

Look at the right and left edges of the picture. On TVs with a wide enough screen, you will see slightly rounded edges on the corners of the shot. Was this shot through a pinhole camera as Matthew pranced in front of the waterfront and scampered clumsily up the courthouse(?) stairs?)

CnoteChris
03-03-2001, 07:24 AM
Any, and I mean ANY, ad that has a 'grabber' a telephone ringing in it.

Bastards.

Are you trying to piss me off? Are you purposely trying to make me look foolish? Because it does, and pissing me off and making me look like a fool isn't conducive to selling me on your product.

I'd sooner lick my cats ass then buy your product. And believe me, my cat’s ass is none too appetizing.

There's one running now where I live that has a phone ringing in it that sounds exactly like my cell phone. I'll be doing something around the apartment and hear the 'Doodle-loodle-loot' tone and make a beeline for my cell. Instead of finding someone on the other end, I find myself standing in the middle of my apartment talking into a dead phone saying, "Hello? HELLO?"

Shylock
03-03-2001, 10:21 AM
Those damn Matthew Lesko commercials - you know, the screeching nasal voice telling you how the government has billions of dollars just waiting for you? The guy w/ the question marks all over his suit (and wtf is that for?)

But here's the catcher - with your purchase not only do you get his books, but you get a 6-hour audiotape.

Can you imagine listening to that guy for 6 hours? My god, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemies...(well, ok, maybe I would, now that I think about it)

C.

wahoo11
03-03-2001, 10:49 AM
Guilt trip commercials like ring around the collar,dandruff shampoo and gas medicine. They make it sound like if your shirt collar isn't sparkling white,you have a few flakes of dandruff or fart in public that you are sub-human.

Unfortunately this type of advertising has proven to be extremely effective.

alibey
03-03-2001, 08:04 PM
lots of bad ones mentioned, but you haven't had to deal with AFN (Armed Forces Network). they broadcast the american shows to the troops overseas and replace the comercials with info bits. it gets real old real fast, like 20 or more ways to tell us the differance between a general and specific POA. makes one miss the real comercials.

Occam
03-03-2001, 08:31 PM
Here in Minnesota on 93.7 105.1 and sometimes 94.5 these two punks "Dave and Eumie" own a place called "Wedding Day Jewelers". Just Eumies voice drives me up the wall...that and his name is Eumie. I'm probably spelling it wrong, it's pronounced "You-me".

PlanMan
03-03-2001, 10:16 PM
AT&T International long distance ... shows a woman doing everyday things, and a male voice saying how much he likes it when she (flosses, breathes with her mouth open, etc.) - what is this guy ... a stalker?? And if it is International, how does he know WTF she is doing?

Balance
03-04-2001, 01:42 AM
Anne Murray. The saccharine bitch can't sing, and chooses to whine out the most appalling dreck to prove it. And she does it while I'm trying to watch cartoons, dammit! She's one of the best advertisements I've ever seen for TiVo or ReplayTV--you can skip her damn commercials.

What demographic are they aiming at, anyway? Presumably, the majority of the viewers for Cartoon Network (gimme a break, it's the only place I can get my animé fix right now) are too young to legally order something from a TV ad without parental permission. Do they really expect the kids to go beg Mommy and Daddy to order a disc of bad gospel music?

KJ
03-04-2001, 01:54 AM
Alas, as there will always be more commercials made, the dead horse lives again...

Originally posted by Ballybay
Any commercial featuring the little Pepsi girl are automatically assumed, but luckily I haven't seen her on TV lately. Now she just taints my movie-going experiences.


You're in luck! Personally, I thought the pepsi-girl theater announcements were more witty than what they had before (some corny CGI roller-coaster thing) but, starting in a few weeks, the Pepsi Girl will be out of the theaters.

(I think somebody on the SDMB (damned if I remember who) lives near the Pepsi Girl, and says she actually hates the commercials also...and who can blame her?)

There are two commercials that are so repulsive that I am literally forced to change the channel whenever they come on. At first, I wasn't so fast, but now my timing has gotten so good that I can spot the commercials within the first ½ second of the commercial, reach for the remote, and change the channel before my TV can be plagued with those abominations. I also refuse to buy these products because that would be enforcing the crappy advertising.

Which commercials are those? I'll tell you:

* That goddamn "Zesty" commercial, or the even worse incarnation, the "we will rock you" commercial. First of all, who do they think they're fooling with that cheap voice dub for the supermodel? Second, not only is this commercial a "stupid guy/supermodel" commercial, that seems to be its ONLY SELLING POINT, and there's really NO JOKE whatsoever besides "Ha, stupid men, you go girl, GIRL POWER YEAH!" Don't make me vomit.

Has anyone else seen the new Doritos commercial with the supermodel who goes to the tennis court, dumps a bag of Doritos into the auto-ball-feeder, attempts to catch it in her mouth, but gets smacked onto the floor by a flying dorito? That commercial gets me to laugh every time. And it totally caught me off-gaurd the first time I saw it. Take that, supermodel!

* Carl's Jr. commercials. I refuse to watch these. I change the channel whenever they come on. Jesus Christ, does this make ANYONE want to buy food at Carl's Jr.!?

*slurrrrrrrrrrrrp*

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

*gulp*

*slurrp*

If it wasn't for the fact that I can instinctively change the channel within ½ second, I'd be forced to hurl a shoe at the TV. I shouldn't need to explain the horridness of those commercials.

Anyway, your posts reminded me of some other gut-wrenchers:

* The tape of the kids singing songs. Hello? They want me to PAY THEM to hear a bunch of squealing kids? I've got a 13-year-old sister, I get enough of that, thank-you-very-much. It reminds me of a great Simpsons moment; Otto the bus driver with a tape called "Songs to annoy bus drivers."

"Sheesh, why'd I even buy this tape!?"

* The birth control commercial with the 3 or 4 ditzes talking about how great it is that their birth control pill gives them pretty faces. Every time I see that commercial, I have to do an MST3K voice-over; "Tee hee! I'm such a whore!"

* 1-800-COLLECT, 1-800-CALL-ATT, they're all the same. Not only are the ad campaigns exactly the same (someone starts to dial a phone, some annoying jackass stops them and demands that they dial the correct collect number) but every commercial in both campaigns is exactly the same. I saw one recently that really REALLY got on my nerves; in the commercial, some guy was apparently convinced by the aforementioned annoying jackass to make a collect call FROM HOME to be a "kind, loving boyfriend." I wish I could say this was an SNL mockery. Pay for the fucking call yourself, dumbass.

*sigh*

On a lighter note:


Originally posted by Dire Wolf

[fake British accent]
"Dear Sir or Madam: Please tear off a piece of me, jam me between your boo-tocks, and smear me with your feces."
-or-
"Please drag me between your labia until I am soaked with urine."
[/fake British accent]



Bwahahahahah! I laughed for a few minutes after reading this one. Can I use it as my (as of yet nonexistant) sig?

That also reminds me of the toilet paper commercial with the animated bears in the woods. Umm, what? "It's the toilet paper bears use to shit on?" Yeah, whatever.

Morrison's Lament
03-04-2001, 05:03 AM
CNN has this totally obnoxius commercial where they say how they are "Taking global weather forecasting by storm!", it's some big campaign they are launching now, but that's not my problem.

The problem is the opening text: "Weather... there is no force of nature that is as hard to predict!"

WTF?!?! These people have obviously not heard of earthquakes, evolution and all the other things covered by the very loose term: "forces of nature". Someone even suggested to me that women were far more unpredictable, and no one doubts they are a force!

I used to make a living writing empty text like that and it's just the sloppiest work I've seen in a long time. Is it really THAT hard to find some vaguely sensible, yet over the top, statements to make about the weather?

I'll give myself 25 seconds, and I'm hungover:
"The weather. It's what shapes us, what holds us back and pushes us forward at the same time, it is truly a force of nature! It's what defines the earths regions, it's cultures... bla bla bla etc."

At least it doesn't sound like some idiot knocked it up while sitting at home in his underwear on a sunday morning, even though it was. ;)

--- G. Raven

mobo85
03-04-2001, 10:22 AM
Originally posted by PlanMan
By the way, I heard recently they are bringing by Joe Subaru!

Yeah, I saw him bring by once.

No offense, but I think you mean that they are bringing back (now brought back) Joe Isuzu.

jayjay
03-04-2001, 11:26 AM
Originally posted by Dire Wolf

[fake British accent]
"Dear Sir or Madam: Please tear off a piece of me, jam me between your boo-tocks, and smear me with your feces."
-or-
"Please drag me between your labia until I am soaked with urine."
[/fake British accent]



When I first actually paid attention to these things, my first thought was that we Americans will find any dialogue, no matter how disgusting, acceptable if it's spoken by a Brit.

Originally posted by KJ
That also reminds me of the toilet paper commercial with the animated bears in the woods. Umm, what? "It's the toilet paper bears use to shit on?" Yeah, whatever.

See, I thought this one was kind of clever and funny the first time I saw it. Of course, it's based on the old snappy comeback "Does a bear [poop] in the woods?" My aunt uses that one all the time, which is why I found the commercial amusing.

Jophiel
03-04-2001, 02:05 PM
Any cell phone commerical, on television or radio, that connects having a cell phone to a relationship with a person. And, unfortunately, it seems they all have this type of commerical.

"My last relationship just had so much static!"
"The next time I commit, it'll be on my time"
"No matter how I tried, I couldn't communicate in my last relationship."

Blah, blah, blah... SHUT UP! It's a God damned phone! And furthermore, it's not even clever anymore! It wasn't super clever to begin with, but now from the first time you hear the word "relationship" or "communicate" in a commerical, you already know they're referring to cell phones and not relationships, so why keep beating this dead horse?

Medievalist2
03-04-2001, 04:26 PM
I hate Jack-in-the-Box ads. That know-it-all clown makes me want to pitch a shoe through the TV.

Enderw24
03-05-2001, 11:56 AM
I have one commercial I don't hate, I just find it somewhat disconcerting.

The new Guinness commercial, the one with the guy flying an airplane through a canyon. I just think it's weird that a company selling alcohol is advertising that it's all right to operate a motorized vehicle when you're so wasted you're hallucinating.

Also, someone mentioned that things like dandruff commercials, etc. are annoying because it makes you feel sub-human if you're afflicted with a few flakes. Actually, that's exactly what they're doing and, studies show, it works. I don't have the exact numbers here, but research has shown that around 20% more of the population are concerned with dandruff than actually have it.

puddleglum
03-05-2001, 12:26 PM
The car ads featuring Batman talking about the Onstar system. Batman does not need your help, he is Batman, he does not need directions, he never locks his keys in the car and the Batmobile does not need to be tracked from space. He is Batman, a friggin superhero.
On a related note, he also does not go to McDonald's for drive-thru.

salinqmind
03-05-2001, 07:15 PM
1) The one for Verizon where they're playing "I've Got A New Attitude" in the background which is bad enough, but it features this woman strolling along and she buys a hideous, I mean butt ugly blue furry vest and she's parading around like she's wearing a diamond tiara at the ball when she looks like a total idiot wearing a smelly ugly blue furry vest.

2) Jamie Lee Curtis and her damn cellular phone commercials. Enough already.

3) A commercial we have playing here for "comedy" radio featuring a numbnuts pleading with viewers to start listening to the sparkling comedy morning show or his betters are going to hack off another of his body parts. So far he's lost a testicle, ear, and I think finger. ha ha, really funny. Go ahead and kill him already, I don't care.

4) This probably doesn't fit here, but does anyone beside me notice in most commercials featuring food, cooking, and cleaning products, the upper middle class room the action takes place in always features a huge, beautiful, expensive flower arrangement? I don't know anyone who routinely orders a hundred dollar centerpiece to perk up their decor. (The only knockout flowers I've ever seen in peoples houses are the flowers they bring home from weddings and funerals!)

south333
03-05-2001, 08:12 PM
Ok, first off, I can't stand the pepsi commercials. They always seem to put down coke without any reason (i.e. the einstien commerical) and they get dumber as they go along.
I can't stand that Matthew Lesko guy!! Shylock hit the nail right on the head. That guy is SOOOOOOO anoying. And have you ever noticed that the camera isn't straight and he NEVER has different clothes on?? MANNNNNN he urks me.
The chip commerical (you know the one w/ the tennis court and the not-all-there model?) at first I thought it was funny, but now its like "WHY WOULD ANYONE PUT CHIPS IN A TENNIS BALL SHOOTER AND THEN TRY AND CATCH THEM IN THEIR MOUTH??!?!?!? ughhh
As far as comercials in general, I hate those little tiny words at the bottom of the screen that say valid only with... etc. Can anyone actually READ that?? commericals like that reallly piss me off.
Finally, that crack about the cottonelle lady had me laughing for a while! I can't stand that comerical, I really don't want to watch some piece of paper talk to me for thirty seconds on why I should use it to wipe myself.
I can't think of any others right now, but I will be back. :)

PlanMan
03-05-2001, 09:27 PM
Originally posted by mobo85
Originally posted by PlanMan
By the way, I heard recently they are bringing by Joe Subaru!

Yeah, I saw him bring by once.

No offense, but I think you mean that they are bringing back (now brought back) Joe Isuzu.

wo ... didn't feel right when I was typing it ... after all, everyone knows it is Sam Subaru? And it would be nice to bring him by, then we could ask him Why? (wouldn't the folks whose tech. documents I have edited love this?)

Mobo, have you actually seen a NEW Joe Isuzu (!) commercial? I've seen a couple of the old ones on TVLand.

BTW - the chips/tennis commercial - I think what happens is very appropriate, now, can we put some of the morons who write the commercials cited in this thread in front of that chip throwing tennis ball machine?

Glitterfairy
03-05-2001, 10:11 PM
Ok the commercial that I just want to throw my remote at and my couch, and anything else that is near me...is that damn Taco Bell commercial...you are probably wondering which ones...well...ALL OF THEM! Damn them all to hell...even the dog! the end! :)

Rue DeDay
03-06-2001, 09:24 AM
How about the napkin commercial with that fat little boy stuffing chicken into his gaping maw? Of course he misses that sucking hole and gets BBQ sauce ALL OVER HIS ENTIRE BODY! One skimpy napkin can't control the carnage so, whhippp, over the shoulder it goes. Stuff more chicken. Fling more napkins. There's a pile of grease saturated napkins piled in the middle of the room. Probably crushing the family dog for all I know.

Out comes SUPER-NAPKIN, and our cute little glutton can wolf down entire carcasses and still scrape the detritus from his face ALL IN ONE WIPE!

Gahhh! Feed him from a trough in the yard and hose him down afterward. Or give him a freaking salad.

City Gent
03-06-2001, 06:35 PM
I've never, ever heard of anyone who thinks the Pepsi girl is cute or entertaining. The salient question seems to be "Why do they still run the commercials?" I mean, when the "New Coke" came out, it was maybe 3 to 1 against, and they brought back old Coke within a matter of weeks. With this little Pepsi succubus, it's gotta be at least 99 to 1 against, but she's still around. Does she possess mind-control powers over the Pepsi ad executives? Or are we to the point where even if everyone initially hates something, the ad agencies know that if they saturate the airwaves with enough of it for a long enough time, people will start to relent and "enjoy" it?


By the way, for sheer amateurish badness, I challenge any commercial on any TV station anywhere to top the Conn's Potato Chips commercials (a local brand in Central Ohio).

Moe
03-07-2001, 01:51 AM
Originally posted by Yardstick
I used to live in Massachusetts and there was a regional Furniture company "Bob's Discount Furniture", sure the guy sold quality furniture at discount prices, but did he have sound so g-d frickin annoying in the commercials, he had this high whiney voice, and these stupid commercials with dancing and talking living room sets.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE GIVE IT UP BOB!!!!!


"You have my word on it". I was actually just the other day thinking about starting a thread on how much I hate his commercials. Him and that stupid horrible fake accent tarot card reading hemmorroid already mentioned.
Question: Dionne Warwick's Psychic friends Network went bankrupt right? and that had to be the most ambitious attempt at psychic phone scamming to date. Why do these people keep trying? Could they possibly be making any money?

BTW, let me add to this rant on irritating psychics commercials, Kenny Kingston I think was his name who would thank spirits right in the middle of his rap. "thank you spirit". :wally:

So, I think the psychics commercials have to be among the ones that annoy me the most.

Actually I hate most commercials. There are so many to really hate. Oh I got one: the Welch's Grape juice commercials with the most cutest wootest wittle itty bitty kids that you just want to club. "Something happens when you drink Welch's grape juice. Your lips go smack". How low can you go?

Badtz Maru
03-07-2001, 02:17 AM
I hate almost all the Geico commercials, except the one that seems to be lifted from a running joke in Fallout 2.

Spiny Norman
03-07-2001, 06:40 AM
Every commercial ever produced to promote the sales of "Mentos". ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

Mentos actually do produce some delicious mints, but their commercials are beneath contempt. If they were to air a commercial where whoever is responsible for the "Freshmaker" campaign was tarred and feathered, his house napalmed, his friends and family deported and the ground sown with salt, I might be talked into purchasing a roll of Mentos within a decade or so. I might.

S. Norman

cheepdogg
03-07-2001, 06:55 AM
My vote would have to go for those Anne Murray commercials.
They run that ad on Cartoon Network 24/7.
I mean, who is actually BUYING this album? I'd like to know!
And why are they trying to target Cartoon Network viewers?
I swear, the next time I see that commercial, I'm gonna blast my TV into a million bits!

AWB
03-07-2001, 07:35 AM
Originally posted by wring
One that creeps me out (and I can't tell why) is a car commercial with a kid leaning towards the camera and whispering "zoom zoom" and cue the music "zoom zoom zoom"

I couldn't even tell you which car it's advertising.

Creeps me out too! Maybe because the kid says "zoom zoom" like Haley Joel Osment said "I see dead people" in The Sixth Sense.

wring
03-07-2001, 08:23 AM
Originally posted by AWB
Originally posted by wring
One that creeps me out (and I can't tell why) is a car commercial with a kid leaning towards the camera and whispering "zoom zoom" and cue the music "zoom zoom zoom"

I couldn't even tell you which car it's advertising.

Creeps me out too! Maybe because the kid says "zoom zoom" like Haley Joel Osment said "I see dead people" in The Sixth Sense.

Now, the movie didn't creep me out (in particular), but it's that whispered 'scarey' voice from a child that does it to me. brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

thanks.

Nekochan
03-07-2001, 09:54 AM
Has anyone seen the Martha Stewart ads for her line of sheets and towels and crap for Kmart?

Well, we get to see her rolling around half-naked in bed, wrapped enticingly in towels...and we even get to see her in a slip.

She is not an unattractive woman, but...I just don't want to imagine her naked. My first reaction to that commercial was "AUGH"! There's just something so anti-sexual about her.

Palandine
03-07-2001, 10:05 AM
I've only seen this one in the past 2 weeks or so, and I cannot change the station quickly enough when it comes on.

It's a Hardee's ad (Carl Jr.'s in other parts of the country I guess). The horror begins with an off-screen voice singing "Why so glum, my gym-shorted chum?" The gym-shorted chum is a morbidly obese high school boy who's complaining about how "I'll never make the track team." The off-screen voice sings about how he'll surely make the team by eating Hardee's roast beef sandwiches and eating their biscuits. It ends with the boy singing "Yeeessss, I CAAAANNNNN!" and then promptly falling over a hurdle.

Why they think this would encourage me to eat a Hardee's roast beef sandwich, I don't know.

occ
03-07-2001, 10:46 AM
Originally posted by PlanMan
Hmmm.... seems like there was a similar thread a few weeks ago ... but it didn't show up in a 10-day search ...

But since I'm HERE ...

The KIA commercial with the moron who doesn't realize he just bought a car (Who's car is that in the driveway?) But if he has that attitude about the payments, he won't have his Korea-mobile for long. Couldn't happen to a more deserving idiot.

Wait, wait, wait. While the ad may or may not be stupid, I think you missed the joke; he didn't *forget* he bought a new car. He feels that his new car is so stylish that he wants to pat himself on the back a little, by asking his wife "Who's car is that?". She groans, having been through the routine several times.

occ
03-07-2001, 11:13 AM
Originally posted by Moe
Originally posted by Yardstick
I used to live in Massachusetts and there was a regional Furniture company "Bob's Discount Furniture", sure the guy sold quality furniture at discount prices, but did he have sound so g-d frickin annoying in the commercials, he had this high whiney voice, and these stupid commercials with dancing and talking living room sets.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE GIVE IT UP BOB!!!!!


"You have my word on it". I was actually just the other day thinking about starting a thread on how much I hate his commercials.


Haha, Bob. We have him here in CT, as well, and he's kind of a local fixture; I'm not sure where his first stores were, but his ads have been around for, sheeeit, going on 10 years or so, and they've always been that bad. You know, him spouting a catchphrase, cheesy "local ad"-styled video effects, talking couches, bad stop-motion animation, the whole works. I think he must be in on the joke by now, because he could surely afford real advertisements (his stores are popping up all over, so he must be doing well). I think we should relish the fact that amazingly crappy ads like these can still get airplay.

Thudlow Boink
03-07-2001, 11:57 AM
I am driven stark raving insane by...

...the aforementioned "Boing" commercial. Stupidest damn thing I've ever seen.

...the karaoke jeans (Levis?) commercial. Listening to someone singing really badly is supposed to make me want to run out and buy pants? If I hurt myself rushing in from the other room and lunging for the remote to turn this off, can I sue the company?

...pretty much any commercial (TV or radio) that gets played over and over and over again. The stupidity annoyance factor increases exponentially with each successive viewing. Even if it was a reasonable commercial the first time, it gets really old hearing the same thing over and over again. It gets really old hearing the same thing over and over again. It gets really old hearing the same thing over and over again. It gets really old hearing the same thing over and over again.

Thudlow Boink
03-07-2001, 11:57 AM
I am driven stark raving insane by...

...the aforementioned "Boing" commercial. Stupidest damn thing I've ever seen.

...the karaoke jeans (Levis?) commercial. Listening to someone singing really badly is supposed to make me want to run out and buy pants? If I hurt myself rushing in from the other room and lunging for the remote to turn this off, can I sue the company?

...pretty much any commercial (TV or radio) that gets played over and over and over again. The stupidity annoyance factor increases exponentially with each successive viewing. Even if it was a reasonable commercial the first time, it gets really old hearing the same thing over and over again. It gets really old hearing the same thing over and over again. It gets really old hearing the same thing over and over again. It gets really old hearing the same thing over and over again.

Skelji
03-07-2001, 12:21 PM
Originally posted by Rue DeDay
How about the napkin commercial with that fat little boy stuffing chicken into his gaping maw? Of course he misses that sucking hole and gets BBQ sauce ALL OVER HIS ENTIRE BODY! One skimpy napkin can't control the carnage so, whhippp, over the shoulder it goes. Stuff more chicken. Fling more napkins. There's a pile of grease saturated napkins piled in the middle of the room. Probably crushing the family dog for all I know.

Out comes SUPER-NAPKIN, and our cute little glutton can wolf down entire carcasses and still scrape the detritus from his face ALL IN ONE WIPE!

Gahhh! Feed him from a trough in the yard and hose him down afterward. Or give him a freaking salad.
Bastard! I was eating a pretzel when I read this, and I damn near choked to death from laughter!


Two more commercials I just saw:

The latest McDonalds one, featuring Mom and her dipshit son in the front of a rollercoaster, screaming their freaking heads off, complete with sub-titles. Very annoying, but I watch it anyway. I keep hoping to see a happy ending, where the car derails and they both plunge to their deaths. Heh, now you two can scream for real.

There's another commercial for some type of product for constipation, of all things. You see this woman trying to close her jeans, but she can't because her belly is sticking out so far. When you stop to think about it, they're telling us that the woman is so literally full of shit that she can't even get her clothes on. I don't want to be around when she finally erupts.

LindyHopper
03-07-2001, 01:13 PM
Actually...

Um...

I like the "Boing" commercials. I just like the word and sound "boing", I guess. I don't own Nikes (Converse Chuck Taylor high-tops, thank you very much), but just this ad wouldn't stop me from buying them.

Now, as for commercials I hate:

1) The one for some sort of carpet cleaner (Resolve?) where these two demon-spawn kids keep spilling things on the carpet (grape juice, tomato sauce, etc.), and bawling "Mommmmmmmmm!!!!" at the top of their voice after each spill, to which Mom (not even looking up) says "That's OK!" What is she, on Quaaludes? These kids are annoying in the extreme; it just makes me want to smack them.

2) Definitely the Matthew Lesko ads. I have holes in my remote from stabbing the channel-changing buttons in a desperate attempt to change the channel before his fingernails-on-a-chalkboard voice penetrates my eardrums.

3) Hi Opal!! (Woohoo! I'm not a "Hi Opal!" virgin anymore!)

4) Any cell phone ad. I agree; enough already.

Thudlow Boink
03-07-2001, 01:49 PM
:( Oops! I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to post that twice.

Eve
03-07-2001, 02:13 PM
The thing that annoys me most about the new Joe Isuzu commercials (trivia bonus—the actor is David Leisure) is that they have COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN what (briefly) made the campaign charming to begin with: Joe would say, "This car only costs fifteen dollars!" and the bumper beneath would say, "He's lying." Etc., etc., very funny for the first time or two you saw it.

But now, they just have him as the generic car pitchman: "Hey, how does zero-down financing sound?" BORING, is how it sounds.

I miss the original Carvel ads, with old Tom Carvel sounding like he was having a stroke: "Hey, this kid's sure enjoyin' his Fudgie the Whale, he sure is just stopinatyourCarvel . . . uhhhh . . . " [falls over].

Ivar
03-07-2001, 04:21 PM
The one that drives me nuts is the radio commercial for The Shane Company, a diamond jewelry store. I am reminded 10 times an effin' day that 2 month's salary is worth it for the woman I love!

These commercials begat more commercials from the local jewelers who now think they have to compete.

It drives me insane

Moe
03-07-2001, 05:41 PM
That stupid life insurance commercial that I've seen lately drives me crazy.
A wife approaches her husband in the kitchen:
"Do you know Billy Lipshitz?"
"Sure, I saw him last weekend"
"He's dead"
(husband with astonsished look on face)"Oh my"
wife:"he was only 40"
husband: "I'm 38, that could be me"
wife: "What would I and the kids do?"
husband: "look I've got $100,000 insurance" (but the cold hearted money grubbing bitch doesn't stop there)
wife: (wining)"You know what we spend"
husband: "we just can't afford more insurance right now"
<cut to insurance rep> "Don't put your family in danger because you think you can't afford any more insurance"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! What the hell is wrong with these people?!!??!!

elmwood
03-07-2001, 06:23 PM
Here's a nomination for the list of worst commercials. Anything for the Men's Wearhouse. I guarantee it.

Guy Incognito
03-07-2001, 08:34 PM
Good call on the Shane Company commercials, Ivar. Tom Shane must have THE worst voice for doing radio promos ever. Just for kicks I visited their web site a couple of weeks ago and told them how bad Tom sounds on his radio commercials.

In the same vein as the Anne Murray commercials are the mind-punishing commercials for "Songs 4 Worship". I mean, just listening to this commercial makes me wonder how some of those "artists" have avoided being smited. I know that the meek are supposed to inherit the earth, but does their music have to be so wussified?

Skelji
03-07-2001, 09:09 PM
Originally posted by Eve
I miss the original Carvel ads, with old Tom Carvel sounding like he was having a stroke: "Hey, this kid's sure enjoyin' his Fudgie the Whale, he sure is just stopinatyourCarvel . . . uhhhh . . . " [falls over].
Eve! What memories...I forgot all about those old Carvel ads. That gravelly-voiced Tom Carvel always sounded like he was in the middle of eating one of his Brown BonnetTM ice cream cones.


"Hey, folksh, please come on down to Carvel, and try our delicioussss Cookie Puss ice cream cakesh. For St. Patrick's Day, we're featuring Cookie O'Puss."

PlanMan
03-07-2001, 09:11 PM
Originally posted by occ
Originally posted by PlanMan
...

The KIA commercial with the moron who doesn't realize he just bought a car (Who's car is that in the driveway?) But if he has that attitude about the payments, he won't have his Korea-mobile for long. Couldn't happen to a more deserving idiot.

Wait, wait, wait. While the ad may or may not be stupid, I think you missed the joke; he didn't *forget* he bought a new car. He feels that his new car is so stylish that he wants to pat himself on the back a little, by asking his wife "Who's car is that?". She groans, having been through the routine several times.

Really???? No kidding!!!! Yes, I know this sap is so in need of validation that he has to get it from owning a cheap-ass car. But the "take" in my earlier post was an (apparently misguided) attempt at humor. I still think its a toss-up as to whether he forgets he has a new car, or is so pathetic he has to get his love from a car. And, boy, do I sympathize with the wife, I groan at this dolt too.

BarBQSauce
03-08-2001, 12:16 AM
Has anyone seen the new Ovaltine TV spot?? I believe they also air it on radio as is. Some kind of mobile Ovaltine vendor at an ice skating rink is selling hot Ovaltine to kids. The acting is so bad that I have serious doubts as to whether the commercial is done in complete seriousness. There is obvious pandering to the camera and the whole setup looks just so damn fake. I am actually quite surprised I'm the first one to it.

Ben
03-08-2001, 01:22 AM
Originally posted by Dire Wolf
The latest McDonalds one, featuring Mom and her dipshit son in the front of a rollercoaster, screaming their freaking heads off, complete with sub-titles.

Actually, McDonalds' commercials have always bugged me. They're so utterly... bland. They're the Ned Flanders of burger joints. Does anyone remember this one?

"Your kids are... geniuses!" (Three kids in the back seat suddenly sport Einstein wigs and Groucho glasses."

"And they're going to grow up to be... doctors!" (The three kids are now wearing white coats and stethoscopes.)

Then there's the ad where Ronald McDonald takes karate lessons wearing a plaid bathrobe, stretches his arms out to silly lengths, etc. etc. Some psychologist once remarked that Ron McDon is the only clown to be routinely mocked by all children of all ages, even without being told that it's cool to do so.


It makes me glad to have Jack in the Box around. JITB is the most sardonic of all burger joints, and its humor has a sinister edge, too. I mean, think of it: this guy is a *freak*! He has a horrible Y-linked genetic deformity! And the commercial where his mother reminds him of how difficult his birth was? *shudder...*

-Ben

Mielikki
03-08-2001, 12:44 PM
I hate, hate, hate the ones for the invisible braces. Basically they all involve humiliating someone who wears conventional braces. The most annoying one involved a teacher, thin, blond, and with perfectly straight teeth basically pointing out to all her students a classmate (little pudgy Jewish-looking kid) that he had visible braces, then whispering to her co-worker about how neat her new invisible braces were. The message I got was 'if you wear visible braces you are an ugly troll and deserve to be taunted.' I mean, come on! Are we that shallow?

And I cast another vote for drowning the Pepsi girl. She sits on top of all those 'let's exploit the cute child factor' commercials like a purulent cherry on the whole shrieking, giggling adorable kid sundae. Gaaaah.

Legomancer
03-08-2001, 01:01 PM
Originally posted by Palandine
I've only seen this one in the past 2 weeks or so, and I cannot change the station quickly enough when it comes on.

It's a Hardee's ad (Carl Jr.'s in other parts of the country I guess). The horror begins with an off-screen voice singing "Why so glum, my gym-shorted chum?" The gym-shorted chum is a morbidly obese high school boy who's complaining about how "I'll never make the track team." The off-screen voice sings about how he'll surely make the team by eating Hardee's roast beef sandwiches and eating their biscuits. It ends with the boy singing "Yeeessss, I CAAAANNNNN!" and then promptly falling over a hurdle.

Why they think this would encourage me to eat a Hardee's roast beef sandwich, I don't know.

Oh god yes. And here's the thing. I don't watch much TV at all. And yet, the few shows I do find myself watching are all seemingly sponsored by Hardee's AND NOBODY ELSE. Yesterday while watching the daily Simpson's rerun, that commercial came on FOUR times. Once for each commercial break.

I also agree with the Dorito's supermodel tennis commercial. I think part of what bugs me about it is that I'm so obviously supposed to be drooling over the woman, but I find her utterly unappealing. In fact, I like the guy originally playing better, because he looks kind of like Beck. When she gets slammed with the chip, I think, "Good, Beck can play tennis again."

Finally, kudos to whoever mentioned talking baby/dog commercials. Every time this happens it is clear you can hear the ad exec pitching this idea: "And then at the end, the bay suddenly says something sassy! THE BABY TALKS, FOLKS! WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO DO THIS!" Well guess what, so does everyone else, and they use it all the time. Hell, these days, I'm more caught off guard if a baby or a dog in a commercial DOESN'T talk.

scottws
03-08-2001, 02:09 PM
"Bert Weinman - your TV Ford dealer" - in Chicago. Hated the pitchman. Is he still on up there? That was one of the reasons I moved south. Of course, local commercials in Arkansas - worst is Furniture Factory Outlet, but maybe no other arkie dopers...?

Cyberhwk
03-08-2001, 05:09 PM
Originally posted by Moe
[B]wife: "What would I and the kids do?"
husband: "look I've got $100,000 insurance" (but the cold hearted money grubbing bitch doesn't stop there)
wife: (wining)"You know what we spend"
B]

TESTIFY!!!!!!!

I hate any commercial that tries to play the guilt trip angle. Especially the ones about little kiddies. Like the damn baby supplies commercial:

Expecting mother: "More Balmex. Do you guys know something I don't?"
Friends: "Balmex clears up diaper rash, yada yada yada . . ."

C'mon. Your kid couldn't care less what the hell you put on his/her ass.

Give me a break . . .

DreamWorks
03-09-2001, 12:08 AM
Okay, this thread is winding down but.....

1) The Dell commercial I think it is with the kid who wants Mom to buy a new computer so Dad will get off his. I keep looking at the kid's facial expressions and I wanna shoot my TV.
2) The Fire Lt. who uses Lipitor and thinks it important enough to tell me when he's on a fire scene. What the hell is this guy doing? What does Lipitor do and why the hell should I care if this shmoe uses it.
3) The cop in the Metamucil commercial. I'm a cop. And I'd never let anyone know that I was irregular. Oh, and getting over a fence isn't easier if you have more fiber in your diet.

astro
03-09-2001, 01:59 AM
Originally posted by Spiny Norman
Every commercial ever produced to promote the sales of "Mentos". ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

Mentos actually do produce some delicious mints, but their commercials are beneath contempt. If they were to air a commercial where whoever is responsible for the "Freshmaker" campaign was tarred and feathered, his house napalmed, his friends and family deported and the ground sown with salt, I might be talked into purchasing a roll of Mentos within a decade or so. I might.

S. Norman


All wrapped with a bow just for you SN.

http://www.ratcage.com/tv/mentos/mentos-faq.html

Biotop
03-09-2001, 07:58 AM
Let me also go on record as also loathing the Pepsi girl. When I first saw the title of this thread I just knew that I'd find many soulmates who hate this dreadful ad. It's gotten so that I don't mind being late to the movies and missing the opening credits just so I don't have to see that horror and the horse she rides in on.

Invariably in a crowded theater, someone giggles at the girl's "and no smoking" line. I hold down the urge to rise from my seat and demand that the guilty party step forward so that everyone else in the moviehouse can see the type of person whose support keeps this awful spot running over and over and over.

Other ads I don't think have been mentioned:

Ads where you can't tell what the medical product actually does. You know the ones. Scene 1: Grandpa looks longingly at the happy kids, but he can't even make it upstairs to get the camera. Scene 2: Grandpa is out jumping around and playing with the kids. What did he take, a fountain of youth pill? Uppers? Is the medicine only for older people? Was it his heart? Is Grandma smiling for more than one reason? I can't tell and the small print goes by so fast I can't read it. Ask doc.

Then there are the ads where the big contract is up for grabs. Who wins out? Certainly not the "suits" sitting in the boardroom looking concerned. No, it's the crazy partying kids. Good thing they all know about computers. ARRGHH!! As a store manager I have to deal with kids like this all the time. Reality Message that should legally be required to run in these ads:

"These people are actors. Do not try this. Being a f***-up in life will not get you a high paying job."

Eve
03-09-2001, 09:10 AM
Oh, oh, oh—I just remembered another one. I don't even know what it's for, all I can recall is some woman saying, "Sis, what's this I found in your medicine cabinet?"

Now, in the entire history of the English language, has ANYONE ever called their sister "Sis?!"

Modian
03-09-2001, 09:45 AM
Now, in the entire history of the English language, has ANYONE ever called their sister "Sis?!"


??

yes, i do it.

Eve
03-09-2001, 09:50 AM
REALLY? Do you tease her mercilessly about things you find in her medicine cabinet, too? I think someone's been filming you for use in TV commercials . . .

Legomancer
03-09-2001, 10:00 AM
I used to be curious about the drug commercials that gave no indication of what the drug did until I noticed something. Not only do they not indicate anything the drug does, they also don't have the mile-long side-effects disclaimer that commercials that DO talk about what the drug does have. So I suspect that's part of the legal obligations - as long as they make no claims for the drug, they don't have to list side effects. Can anyone confirm or deny this?

Jeep's Phoenix
03-09-2001, 04:54 PM
Originally posted by Eve
Oh, oh, oh—I just remembered another one. I don't even know what it's for, all I can recall is some woman saying, "Sis, what's this I found in your medicine cabinet?"


Ex-Lax!!

What gets me is how cheerful the actress sounds about her discovery.

"Wow, laxatives! Time to pinch a loaf!"

R3nergy8
03-09-2001, 06:20 PM
I'll tell you what I really hate having to watch are those ads that show people eating some type of messy foods(like BBQ,or something) and you gotta look at them getting sauce all over their face,its especially gross when little kids do it.
And that Pepsi girl,I know others have mentioned her before but I just gotta add my own complaint to that.
Any Ad about a drug where the announcer lists all of the really gross side effects:"bloating,nausea,bladder infection,loose stools...etc" GAWD!! I hate listening to that.
One more thing I want to say WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THAT CAL WORTHINGTON GUY TO PLEASE,PLEASE RETIRE!!!!! I can never reach my remote to switch channels fast enough when that car dealership ad comes on.
***R3nergy8***

Nimue
03-10-2001, 04:57 AM
I haven't read the whole thread to ensure that these haven't been posted yet, but they're UK so there's a fair chance they haven't been.

1) The commercial for some kind of high-tech product called (or made by) "Genie", in which the narrator speaks in a loud, piercing whisper for the entire commercial. Drives me crazy and I make the effort to mute the tv every time.

2) This commercial on Channel 5 (where 99% of commercials are regarding loans and lawsuits) for one of these "no win, no fee" lawfirms. Accident Injury Helpline or something? Anyway, in it one so-called clients says, "I was asleep in the car, and when I woke up I discovered there'd been an accident. ...I received £9000." I'm thinking... if you could sleep through an accident, how freakin' injured could you possibly be!?!? Pisses me off every time.

3) In general terms, any commercial that my husband lingers over while channel-flipping because "it's a good one." Grr. :)

Jeremy's Evil Twin
03-10-2001, 06:07 PM
Oh God, that Taco Hell commercial. I was just about to start a thread on that one. May God strike dead whoever authorized giving them the rights to "We Will Rock You", which is by far the most commercially abused song ever.

Whenever that commercial comes on, I have no choice but to close my eyes and stick my fingers in my ears and sing "MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB LITTLE LAMB LITTLE LAMB" over and over until 30 seconds have passed. Just to preserve my sanity.

My stepmother feels the same way about those Carl's Jr. commercials with the loud chewing sounds. That's a pet peeve of hers.

J.E.T.

pepperlandgirl
03-10-2001, 07:19 PM
All of the jeweler commercials. To rip-off "Family Guy"
"Buy her a diamond, cuz hey, she'll pretty much have to."

I actually like the Carl's Jr commercials. I guess you could say they "work" on me, because after I see one, I always want a Superstar...

Cyndar
03-10-2001, 09:45 PM
I haven't read the entire thread, so forgive me if this one has been mentioned: The Mc Donald's (or is it BK? I don't even know) where the mom and son are on the roller coaster going, "Whoooooaaaaaa!!!!" And underneath are little subtitles about going to get a burger after they get off the ride. That commercial drives me insane.

I also can't stand that, "You've got a control jones" commercial...not that there is anything specifically wrong with it, they just play it over and over and over, and if I hear the phrase "control jones" one more time, I'm gonna have to kill someone.

City Gent
03-11-2001, 01:49 AM
I just saw the Levi's commercial with the guy howling out "Karma Chameleon". I just lost my will to live.

City Gent
03-11-2001, 01:51 AM
Originally posted by Cyndar
The Mc Donald's (or is it BK? I don't even know) where the mom and son are on the roller coaster going, "Whoooooaaaaaa!!!!" And underneath are little subtitles about going to get a burger after they get off the ride. That commercial drives me insane.



Guilty confession: I like that one because the mom is kind of sexy and when she screams it looks like she's having a really big orgasm

neutron star
03-11-2001, 03:18 AM
I miss the original Carvel ads, with old Tom Carvel sounding like he was having a stroke: "Hey, this kid's sure enjoyin' his Fudgie the Whale, he sure is just stopinatyourCarvel . . . uhhhh . . . " [falls over].

If you ever happen to catch Patton Oswald's HBO stand-up special, he does an absolutely hilarious impression of Carvel. I thought my stomach was going to burst, I was laughing so hard.


As others have mentioned, nothing is as bad as local commercials. A couple from SW Louisiana:

Hampton Mitsubishi - Traditional screaming car salesman with a twist. He POUNDS on the cars as he's screaming. I mean he really beats the hell out of those suckers! Beyond horrible...

Big Bob's Mattress Outlet - Screaming, yelling, and a vomit-inducing shot of three really ugly little kids reminding you in unison to shop at Big Bob's. I wonder how the rest of Bob's family feels about him using his kids as shameless props to hawk cruddy mattresses.

Law Offices of Morris Bart - Unintentionally hilarious commercials featuring Morris (whose chin has a bigger crack in it than my butt, I think) and some of his clients. One said:

"I was in a motorcycle accident. Hurt my head, even my jaw! Morris Bart got me $223,000!"

Funny, funny stuff. "Hurt my head, even my jaw" has sort of become a catch phrase among my friends. These people really seem to be celebrating their injuries! Amazing...

Bboy
03-11-2001, 05:49 AM
OK. I hate to do this to you all...
But, since nobody has mentioned these yet ... I must add to the list. If you have ever seen these, you will not appreciate being reminded of them here.
[list=1] Ray Charles: MMM-Mmm. Five Arby's roas'beef SAMSH'SS FOR $5.55.
I never thought I'd cringe at hearing Ray Charles, until I heard him CRAM 3 syllables into 1. ARGHH!

Ben Stein, in his usual monotone drawl: "Get Cle-e-e-eer Eyezzzz forr yourrrrrr eyezzzzzzz."

The infomercial for cookware featuring the hyperactive, breathless, in-your-face, little, Brittish a**hole, and the same, supposedly naive, blond supporting actress that is in every infomercial.
[her, totally amazed] "...You mean no soaking, or scrubbing? ... We'd all like to have a set of those, wouldn't we folx?"
[him, bounding right up in her face, as if he's selling it directly to her] "BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! WHAT IF I TOLD YOU YOU COULD HAVE THE ENTIRE SET, ALL THE PIECES YOU SEE HEAH, AND THE BLAHBLAHBLAH, AS WELL AS THE BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH-ETC...ALL FOR THE INCREDIBLY LOW PRICE OF NOT $69.95, NOT $59.95, NOT $49.95....BUT $THUHTY-NINE-NINTAY-FIVE?"[/list=1]
A quick comment about a couple of earlier mentions:

Miss Cleo: Has anyone else noticed that when she gets a couple lines deep into her 'reading', her accent magically fades almost entirely away, then comes back thick as ever for the spiel. It's so blatantly forced, it's sickening.
"Sis, what's this I found in your medicine cabinet?"
What's the logical reaction to that line? How about "What the HELL are you doing snooping around in my medicine cabinet?"
-a cure for snoopers: a handful of marbles in the medicine cabinet. When the door is opened, they fall into the sink with an embarrassing CRASH!

bluecanary
03-11-2001, 06:04 AM
Originally posted by neutron star
"Hurt my head, even my jaw"


Can I use that for a sig? :)


In the UK, there seems to be an increase (2 in particular) in commercials which think noisy, discordant, rock music is a good way to sell rather irrelevant products, such as Nescafe coffee.

Other than that, the main trend in the UK this year has been the lack of new commercials, and a lot of old ones from 2000 returning after their Christmas break.

Eo Echo
03-11-2001, 03:51 PM
Bboy: Clear Eyes has an ingredient to moisturize. Wow.

The commercials that drive me the most crazy are on the radio. They're for some wireless company, maybe AT&T, and all of their commercials talk about this guy, the shepherd. Now this shepherd dude is all over, and he never goes anywhere without his wireless phone. They've been milking this concept for over a year and at least a half dozen different campaigns. And I'm sick of it!

longhair75
03-11-2001, 05:29 PM
good afternoon friends

here in flyover country, talk radio is full of farm product commercials.

typical:
(spoken in a flat, midwetsrn accent)

"you're not some clear coat manicured suit and tie wearing office worker, you're a farmer! you get your hands dirty, your boots dirty, but you keep your fields clean. you attack broadleaf weeds and grasses with Roundup!"

(repeated approximately every ten minutes or so, and you really begin to appreciate NPR again)

PlanMan
03-11-2001, 10:13 PM
Those PuppyChow ads, where the little puppy has super-hu.. er super-puppy powers, blasting thru doors and such.

(if this has been posted recently, sorry, have missed a few posts here)

Pammipoo
03-12-2001, 02:36 AM
Any comercial for McDonalds. Here's a hint...we really *don't* love to see you smile. It's called advertising. After being around that crap for 8 hours, I'm far from smiling, why should I care whether or not you are?

alibey
03-12-2001, 11:51 AM
never knew that so much stuff would attack wheat until I moved to Wichita KS (about 20 years ago) and saw them comercials.

anybody else bothered by them "feed the kids" ads? wouldn't it be cheaper to send birth controll to the adults so they don't have as many kids in the first place, at least until the (civil war, drought, whatever) is over.

Fiddle Peghead
03-12-2001, 12:52 PM
Originally posted by PlanMan
ALL prescription drug ads. Lots about the "good" effects, a dismissive list of some of the "bad" effects (some patients may experience shortness of breath, stomach distress, or death

Yeah, I saw one where a side effect was something like "liquid bowel movements and the inability to control them". Pretty much guarantees right there that I won't be taking that drug.

Moe
03-12-2001, 04:03 PM
OK, I don't mean to beat a dying thread, but there's one small part of one commercial that hits my cynical rage button.

First off, let me say that I hate AOL.

In the latest AOL commercial for AOL 6.0, when the woman says "AOL 6.0 is the best AOL ever", ooooh just give me one slap, just one slap? pleeeeeaze?

Dijon Warlock
03-12-2001, 07:31 PM
Originally posted by Bboy:Ray Charles: MMM-Mmm. Five Arby's roas'beef SAMSH'SS FOR $5.55. I never thought I'd cringe at hearing Ray Charles, until I heard him CRAM 3 syllables into 1. ARGHH!

You cretin! You had to go and remind me of that earlier Ray Charles torture: "You got the right one baby, uh-huh!" All those back up singers would emerge from nowhere, "Uh-huh! Uh-huh!" ARGHH, indeed. I'm off to soak my brain in gasoline, thanks to you.

lawoot
03-13-2001, 01:52 PM
Any commercial featuring the business owner and HIS MOM.

Dolores Reborn
03-13-2001, 03:16 PM
There's a local injury lawyer commercial here in Houston. The "insurance" doctor goes down the row of severely injured patients saying, "Back to work. Back to work." A guy pipes up, "But doctor, he's dead!" Doctor says, "Light duty!" It was funny maybe the first 10 times. Now it's just stupid.

Renton_lvr
03-13-2001, 10:32 PM
Originally posted by notcynical
Originally posted by PlanMan
ALL prescription drug ads. Lots about the "good" effects, a dismissive list of some of the "bad" effects (some patients may experience shortness of breath, stomach distress, or death

Yeah, I saw one where a side effect was something like "liquid bowel movements and the inability to control them". Pretty much guarantees right there that I won't be taking that drug.

I think the worst side effect I ever heard in a commercial was "headache, nausea, diarrhea, oily discharge..." Oily discharge? Okay...now I'm gonna hurl.

Bboy
03-14-2001, 09:57 PM
Dijon Warlock said:
You cretin! You had to go and remind me of that earlier Ray Charles torture: "You got the right one baby, uh-huh!" All those back up singers would emerge from nowhere, "Uh-huh! Uh-huh!" ARGHH, indeed. I'm off to soak my brain in gasoline, thanks to you.Toll ya so, din't I...
Renton_lvr said:
I think the worst side effect I ever heard in a commercial was "headache, nausea, diarrhea, oily discharge..."Oily discharge? Okay...now I'm gonna hurl. ... frequent, uncontrollable bowel movements, and an urgent need to have them.
Picture Jeff Daniels in 'Dumb and Dumber'.

gobear
03-15-2001, 02:20 PM
Just about every fast food commercial irks me. The one where the four corporate drones are pretending they're in a Western and calling each other cowboy names("Zeke!" "Lucky!" "One-eye!") is especially irritating. And there is something wrong with using "We Will Rock You" to sell burgers. I don't like Sprite anyway, and having sullen teenagers rapping--badly--isn't likely to make me run to 7-11 and pick up a case.

voguevixen
03-15-2001, 03:08 PM
Anyone else ready for the Foster Farms chickens to retire? Talk about beating a dead horse, and the one where they try to liposuction each other with an old canister vacuum? DISGUSTING! Anyone who knows what goes on in a chicken processing plant is not going to be fooled by their "fresh/natural" claims anyway. (And who buys chicken by brand? Bizarre!)

MaxTheVool
03-15-2001, 03:21 PM
How about the Subway ads which, inexplicably, have Gilbert Goddfried and shadow puppets and CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!



As for an ad that is still stuck in my head 8 years later, but which I kind of liked, anyone recognize "Philadelphia is talking about music in the morning on B 101.1"

voguevixen
03-15-2001, 05:13 PM
Originally posted by MaxTheVool
How about the Subway ads which, inexplicably, have Gilbert Goddfried and shadow puppets and CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!



GAAAAH! Yes! And for some reason they always show it TWICE IN A ROW!!! What sort of freaky scam is that? "Let's make it half as long and run it twice, it'll be like brainwashing!!!"

south333
03-15-2001, 08:08 PM
that post about the drug commericals reminded me of two things. First, those drug commercials where they list the side effects and the effects are the same as what the drug is trying to fix. And also, those commericals for drugs where they tell you the name, but don't mention WHAT they do!!!

parsnip
03-15-2001, 10:36 PM
1) The inane Uncle Ben's Rice Bowl blurbs. Frozen rice and sauce does not equal good sex. Those people are always steaming during 'family time'. I can't let my 4 year old watch Iron Chef anymore.

2) The thankfully MIA Gap and Target ads with pre-pubescents wearing makeup and lip-synching/air guitaring like "Addicted to Love" mannequins.

AwSnappity
03-15-2001, 11:38 PM
hijack!

the commercial i love is the one with the glass repairman who orders the bigass speakers - the black guy does the best dance!

also the ones about people who have trouble controlling their spending - danger kitty and the purse boot... those are GREAT!

also the mountain dew ones they only show during the x games where all the bikers, skaters, and bladers do a little dance type thing in their gold suits... wonderfully coreographed

ALSO the new bennigan's one where it's the irish drinking song and he finds $10 in the pocket of his jeans

hijack over

i HATE the commercial for the abslider thing with that jennilee lady... that face gives me nightmares

and the wickes' furniture commercial (is that just a local thing?) where they get people who are supposed to be famous but so far i can only recognize dorf and fabio

there's also a radio commercial like "think back to your first crush. you would marry her if you could. you would also feed her chicken without hormones." right. i'm sure that everyone's so concerned about that. chicken without hormones my ass.

AwSnappity
03-16-2001, 12:00 AM
Bboy, your take on the Ray Charles "samsh'ss" line made me laugh so hard my eyes watered. I'm still laughing about it now. I'm going to remember that one forever. Bless you.

theendisnear
03-16-2001, 12:58 AM
I can't believe no one has mentioned the Old Navy comercials yet! Old navy! Old navy! Old navy performance fleeze! Ugh someone please shoot all of them :(

alibey
03-16-2001, 08:02 AM
coffee comercials. the best thing about waking up is not a steaming cup of fruitpit soup.

Dolores Reborn
03-16-2001, 08:17 AM
Local commercial in Houston - 20 years of Mattress Mac shouting "Saves you munnnnney!!". Arghhh!

[hijack]
I love the car safety one (I forget the brand of car) where they crash the car to the tune of The Beegees' Stayin' Alive. Excellent!
[end hijack]

I agree with the poster who complained about radio commercials with sirens and squealing brakes. They should not be allowed!

All infomercials....

lawoot
03-16-2001, 05:47 PM
The YAHOO! ad with the guy in the outback where the satellite is going to come down right on top of him... so he orders a truckload of THROW CUSHIONS and covers his trailer (and his dog) with them, just in the nick of time.

GRRRR

Why not save some money and just get a tow truck to MOVE YOUR TRAILER!!!!

jsc1953
03-16-2001, 06:17 PM
First, guilty pleasures: I kinda like Taco Bell's "steak, Zeke", mainly because I'm so glad to not be seeing the dog anymore. And I like Mazda's "zoom zoom".

What I hate: Carl's Jr, people slobbering, smacking and dripping, as has been mentioned before.

And one that hasn't been mentioned, incredibly--Nescafe Frothe. As if there aren't enough stupid sitcoms on TV, they've made a serious of commercials that mimics a stupid sitcom. Complete with lafftrak, for chrissake.

R3nergy8
03-16-2001, 08:01 PM
There's a commercial I've been seeing for the past week or so that's been driving me insane almost from the start. Its (another!!!) car ad,but whats odd about it is that it's done all in FRENCH!!!! Starting with the voice over by some guy talking seductively (but whats he saying?!?) to the written line at the end, also done in french. Even just watching it seems pointless. One spot shows a dog looking at this car while the guy raises the convertable top then drives off;another spot shows a bunch of guys on bicycles who stop suddenly when they see the car, then they all fall over(o.k. I admit I kinda like it when they fall) but generally the whole thing seems dumb,I mean how do they expect a person to want to buy their car if no one knows whats going on in the ad???


Oh yeah, I also hate those Taco Bell spots where the guys are banging their elbows on the table to the tune of "We Will Rock You" by Queen, then biting very loudly on their tacos. Don't they realize how irritating that is to the people around them?

Bboy
03-17-2001, 12:27 AM
Thanks for the nice words, FireUnderpantsBoobs!

Also,theendisnear said:I can't believe no one has mentioned the Old Navy comercials yet! Old navy! Old navy! Old navy performance fleeze! Ugh someone please shoot all of them :( Amen to that! Especially the ones with the old hag in the enormous eyeglasses.
Two groups of people that I don't take my fashion cues from: Teens, and 90 year olds.

Parsnip mentioned the Gap a few posts back...How about the Gap Christmas commercials, with all the offbeat retoolings of tired old Christmas carols, hmm?

alibey
03-17-2001, 06:24 AM
About that car comercial in french, the announcer is talking about the car (only gettin 1 word out of 10, hs french is failing me...LOL) I am waiting to see if they do the spot in english on the station out of Quebec.

Theobroma
03-17-2001, 01:28 PM
OK...anybody see the Maalox commercial where they show everybody racing around the hospital pharmacy, to show how *FAST* Maalox works? I've worked in a hospital pharmacy for 15 years, and yes, we do run around some, but we don't keep our Maalox neatly displayed in a well-lit industrial refrigerator, for pete's sake...I can just see the director now..."OK, empty out all those boring insulin vials and vaccines! We need the entire fridge--floor to ceiling--to display our great product!"

Or are we the ONLY people who saw that commercial and thought "...why are they keeping thirty cases of Maalox in the fridge?..."

Baker
03-17-2001, 04:40 PM
Palandine and Legomancer got there first. I really, really hate the Hardee's commercial where the pudgy guy is being inspired by their biscuits to keep on trying out for the track team.

But do you know there is a NEW version of it out? Just when you think the bozo is going to fall flat on his face again, going over the hurdle, this time he actually MAKES it!

Oh God, I hope this doesn't mean we are in for a series of this dolt's sports accomplishments.

struct
03-14-2002, 04:48 PM
Four words: "be legal with Eagle"

racer72
03-14-2002, 07:37 PM
Sunny Kobe Cook. No, I did not buy a mattress from you nor will I. Please go away. Anyone that lives near a Sleep Country USA knows what I mean.

The kid in the Dell commercials. Has smart ass written all over him. Now he is going to get his own TV show. Glad I don't watch any primetime TV.

For those who lived in the Seattle-Tacoma area in the early 70's, you may remember Dick Balch. Had a Chevy dealership in Federal Way and he would smash the hoods on new cars with sledge hammers. I got to know him after he got out of the car business and he wasn't anything like he was in the commercials. We would go salmon fishing at Westport and he always brought a bombshell babe with him. But it use to bug him when folks would tell him that they did not like his commercials.

Another old time car dealer that had terrible commercials was Ralph Williams. He was up here in Seattle for a few years then went away.

alibey
03-14-2002, 08:38 PM
The comercial for gevalia coffee,

exec 1 offers exec 2 some coffee, exec 2 politly declines, then proceeds to leave the building, passing a coffe wagon, coffee house and boards a bus to go home for......you guessed it a cup of gevalia coffee.

Now this strikes me as 1. the dude is not smart enuff (or has the forethought) to bring in some of the stuff from home 2. he must not be needed at the office if he can take the day off to go home for a cup of joe.

Katisha
03-14-2002, 08:49 PM
Originally posted by racer72
Another old time car dealer that had terrible commercials was Ralph Williams. He was up here in Seattle for a few years then went away.

That was the name of my thesis adviser when I was an undergrad. Weird... ;)

zenith
03-14-2002, 09:24 PM
1) Fran Tarkenton hawking usurious car loans to deadbeats.

2) All ads for overpaid nitwit local newscasters.

3) All ads for overpaid nitwit national newscasters.

4) Those Verizon "Can you hear me now?" ads.

5)"Feminine hygiene" ads ANYTIME, especially those ones that say"Kotex fits. Period."

6) Those "Grow the dick of the gods for only 3 easy payments of $19.95" herbal concoction ads.

7) The companion "Grow tits the size of Texas with our new miracle cream" ads.

8) Jeff Goldblum gushing over the new Toy-Autos; especially that crappy restyled Camry that, to me, looks like a bad copy of a Mercedes C-Class.

9) Those smug Nissan ads.

10) Bill Ford's pallid imitation of Lee Iacocca. But for the good fortune of having been born a Ford, this guy would be sweeping out WalMart til his 80th birthday in order to pay off the loan he took out with Fran Tarkenton. He makes the average newscaster look intelligent.

Soup_du_jour
03-14-2002, 10:33 PM
There's a local car dealership by the name of North Star Dodge, and they like to make commercials.

The owner, Tim McBee, always like to come on the air with a styrofoam cup and fumble his lines a lot. It's almost like the thing was never rehearsed! One egregious example was when he was walking by cars, saying the prices...

"Dodge Intrepid, 19,500 . . . Caravan, 22,000 . . . I don't know what that is, but it's 16,000"

Apparently, the guy doesn't know his inventory well enough to recognise the car he's advertising.

Horrible.

-Soup

porcupine
03-14-2002, 10:41 PM
I just saw this one for the first time tonight - it was for some kind of car, and obviously it wasn't that good or I would remember. A guy goes out to the car holding his baby, and notices a little water has beaded up on the car. He sits the baby on the car so the kid's diaper will absorb the water. I dunno, I'm probably not qualified to comment on this since I'm not a parent, but since when are diapers absorbant on the OUTSIDE??!!!!

And one for a local politician, who states that the opponent voted for XYZ, but this guy thinks it's unconstituational and will fight to pass legislation against XYZ. Excuse me, but if you think it's unconstituation, you don't need legislation to make it illegal. You would appeal to the courts to rule it unconstitutional. Idjit politician.

Yes, I'm feeling very anal-retentive lately.

rayray5884
03-14-2002, 11:20 PM
I work for a hardware/lumberyard in the midwest, Menards. Anyone who has ever seen those commercials knows just how bad they are. Based in E.C. Wisconsin it seems as if they give some shmuck a handycam and tell him to make that weeks commercials. All I have to say is that they fail in comparison to any Home Depot, Lowes, or Ace Hardware commercial.

Lightnin'
03-16-2002, 10:00 AM
What commercials drive me to distraction? Any of the Collect Call commercials.

I mean, come on- just how often do you really need to make a collect phone call? I've made exactly three in my entire life!

And where do they get these washed-up-actor-and/or-has-been-sports-star? Do the writers of these commecials actually think that what they're writing passes as humor? Particularly annoying is the teeny-tiny little disclaimer at the bottom of the screen- you know, the one that's about 3 millimeters in height, a blur on anything other than a four-foot HDTV, and is only on for 1 picosecond- the one that says, "Out of state calls only" along with some other stuff that I've never been able to read. Just how often do you really need to make an out-of-state collect phone call, anyway?

I must admit, though... Eva Savealot is nice to look at. I'll just turn down the sound when she's on. :D

Czarcasm
03-16-2002, 11:56 AM
Moving this to Cafe Society.

Ruffian
03-16-2002, 12:05 PM
This thread is huge, and I've only skimmed it--so it's quite possible someone else has said this one. But I swear, for the love of Peter, Paul, and Mary, I've going to snap one day and start smashing my radio against the wall if I hear:

YOU'RE KILLING ME LARRY!

...again.

::::shudder::::

(This commercial is for a mattress company that may just be southern California--the one with "We'll match anyone's price or your mattress is [high-pitched, whiny, annoying as shit voice]FREEEEEEEEE!"[/high pitched, whiny, annoying as shit voice]

Rilchiam
03-17-2002, 04:04 AM
Ruffian, I was once a cubicle away from someone who would bray "You're killing me, Larry!" every time something astounded him. Which was a lot. He also started phone calls with WAZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?!

It's not so much commercials which annoy me; it's the people who won't let them rest.

The only commercial that drives me to near-mayhem is a radio commercial for some kind of depilatory. "Are you tired of that daily struggle with shaving, waxing..." No, lady, I'm tired of YOU! I turn the dial every time I hear that simpery voice, but the commercial is on almost all the local stations, so there's no avoiding her. Once, I ducked the commercial, and got the same one on another station.

struct
03-17-2002, 05:45 AM
Vagisil. All parties responsible for any commercial with the words "urine irritated skin" in them should be shot.

struct
03-17-2002, 05:54 AM
Originally posted by Moe
OK, I don't mean to beat a dying thread, but there's one small part of one commercial that hits my cynical rage button.

First off, let me say that I hate AOL.

In the latest AOL commercial for AOL 6.0, when the woman says "AOL 6.0 is the best AOL ever", ooooh just give me one slap, just one slap? pleeeeeaze?

Every time I see that damned ad, I automatically respond in my best imitation of The Simpson's Comic Book Guy: "Worst... AOL... ever!"

struct
03-17-2002, 06:03 AM
Originally posted by Shylock
Those damn Matthew Lesko commercials - you know, the screeching nasal voice telling you how the government has billions of dollars just waiting for you? The guy w/ the question marks all over his suit (and wtf is that for?)

But here's the catcher - with your purchase not only do you get his books, but you get a 6-hour audiotape.

Can you imagine listening to that guy for 6 hours? My god, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemies...(well, ok, maybe I would, now that I think about it)

C.

"There'sMillionsInGummintMoneyJustWaitingForYou! Thoooooooooooooooooooose... whoKnowAboutThePrograms..."

struct
03-17-2002, 06:15 AM
Sorry, just one more -- and I promise I'll try to combine my mini-posts into one big list post next time.

"Around here, I see a lot of GAS!"

Stupendous man
03-17-2002, 07:35 AM
I hate all commercials that are shown before a movie in a theatre.
To me, this is just unnecessary. Often, they are just longer version of the ones seen on television.

I also notice that movie ticket prices continue to rise, despite the fact that we have 5 minutes of paid advertising before every damned film.

We don't want to see commercials before movies. Good reviews yes, commercials, no.

Now, onto the the ones I loath:
1: www.abuckaday.com : Dance music with words about how people don't want a "clone" of a computer (only genuine IBM) and how "I'm knock, knock, knockin on buck-a-day's door!"

Sigh.. Then the announcer has to rattle off the features so fast..


Anyway, the second: The toilet tissue commercials where the cartoon bears go to the base of a tree and have a roll of this tissue which apparantly leaves you "comfortably clean" which to me basically says that "we'll wipe all of the feces off your ass as softly as possible." But the bears! They're just sitting at the base of the tree! They'd just mash the crap into their fur! They'd need a whole package of tissue to get "comfortably clean" after that!! There's no hole! It's just a tree! And where do they put the used tissue???

plankter
03-17-2002, 02:05 PM
Originally posted by Ruffian
(This commercial is for a mattress company that may just be southern California--the one with "We'll match anyone's price or your mattress is [high-pitched, whiny, annoying as shit voice]FREEEEEEEEE!"[/high pitched, whiny, annoying as shit voice]

Shit-N-Sleep...I mean, Sit-N-Sleep sponsors Michael Jackson's radio talk show. One morning a traffic report warned of a mattress sitting in freeway lanes. Michael (the BBC alumnus, not Jacko) declared that it must be from Sit-N-Sleep because now "that mattress is FREEEEEEEEE!"

struct
03-19-2002, 03:04 AM
Here's one to add to the list: that ad for that damned dial-a-loan service with the dance club goers complaining about how they can't buy a car because of the "big but" that's always attached, accompanied by the visual pun of a close-up of someone's gyrating rear end every time someone says the phrase "big but". You know, instead of "big but", it's "big butt"! Ha ha ha, so funny! I haven't laughed so hard since I read Cracked magazine's brilliant parody of "21 Jump Street" entitled "21 Junk Heap"! So clever! :mad:

LurkMeister
03-20-2002, 11:31 PM
SBC/Ameritech has been running ads in the Chicago area trying to convince people not to change their phone service. They're all variations on the same theme:
Operator for "other phone company" says "I've got a great deal for you if you're interested in changing your phone service."
Potential customer (either a home or business rep) thinks "I/We changed XXXXXX service once." This is followed by a flashback of the disasters that ensued when they switched their old reliable XXXXXXX service for a (presumably) cheaper alternative. For example, the new cleaning service polished the floors to the point where everyone was sliding and falling, the new coffee service used vending machines which sprayed coffee in your face and threw things across the room or the new plumber caused projectile flooding which knocked over people on the sidewalk.
Potential customer then says "I'm/We're pretty happy with what we have now."
They're also running print ads & billboards showing people doing stupid things like poking a wasp's nest with the text: "Not smart. Kind of like changing your phone company."

Between these two it's almost enough to make me want to change my phone company.

If it weren't for the fact that the other phone companies in the area are driving me nuts calling every other day to try to get me to change my phone company.:mad:

Quintas
03-21-2002, 02:32 PM
The (i think) Mitsubishi commercial where they start playing the dance music and the girl in the passenger seat starts doin this 'robot dance' with this big,dumb smile on her face.

c_carol
03-21-2002, 03:57 PM
I'm puzzled by the commercial that boasts that this prescription allergy medicine is the only one "approved to treat both indoor _and_ outdoor allergies!" How does allergy medicine know whether I'm inside or outside?

ElwoodCuse
03-22-2002, 10:05 PM
I haven't seen those Taco Bell ads, but I was amused by their sign at the restaurant that says "Winners eat steak!"

I have to chime in for those asinine "drugs support terrorism" ads. I think "propaganda" is a better word. Every time I see them (they've been on during the NCAA Tournament) I want to blow up my tv.

Disclosure: I don't smoke or do any drugs, and wouldn't whether they were legal or not. I do drink beer occasionally.

But anyway, these ads piss me off to no end. First, I know people that do smoke up sometimes. And I find it hard to believe that them growing pot in their closet or whatever contributes to terrorism.

Ok, so maybe they are referring to the opium fields the Taliban runs. How much of that actually gets to the U.S.? How much of that supports terrorism? Didn't Osama Bin Laden get most of his money from his family's construction business and from the U.S. government itself back when he was a "freedom fighter"?

I am convinced that much of the problems of the drug trade are akin to organized crime and prohibition.

zepchick
07-14-2002, 12:47 AM
Thank you Fionn for starting this thread. And now I will flip out.
OH MY GOD, SOMEONE SHOOT THE WOMAN WHO DOES THE VOICEOVER FOR FOLGERS!!!! I HATE that woman's voice SO MUCH. And the worst part about it is, she does about a trillion other commercials too! There's another woman who sings on a commercial with a voice similar to this, but worse, and I just want to scratch my face off every time I hear her or the Folgers bitch.

Another one is the herpes medication ads. I don't know, I just do NOT think STD meds should be advertised on television! It grosses me out! And WHY are they always kayaking?!

Here's another relatively new thing...It used to be that pregnancy tests were advertised with an attitude of excitement and happiness--the couple sitting on the couch with the e.p.t. thing, excitedly turning to each other with a "WE'RE PREGNANT!". Now EVERY pregnancy test commercial is some chick all alone, shot in black and white film, looking like they just shit a brick and wanna die, waiting anxiously for a little line to appear. And the dialogue for these commercials is wonderful. The following one made me want to laugh hysterically and bash my tv set in with a bat all at the same time: "I feel irritable...could I be pregnant?" WTF?! If women were pregnant every time they were irritable, this would be one hell of a world!

And oh, the drama of feminine protection! "We were working out at the gym and the WORST happened...but Jamie only had tampons!" Oh GOD. This is NOT the dark ages, people. I'm not gonna go off on a rant about which form of feminine protection has more merit, but please, stop making commercials about stressing over this. Do what you gotta!

Last but not least, that new Wendy's commercial. The teenage girl walks into her grandmother's house and the grandmother asks her where she was. The girl gives the nice old granny SUCH an attitude! Why? I'm a teenager and although I'll acquiesce to the fact that we'll mouth off to practically everything with a brain, I happen to know that teenagers do NOT mouth off to their grandmothers. Why would you flip a bitch at someone who gives you money, candy, and baked goods?

Mockingbird
07-14-2002, 01:37 AM
Those damn Darrin's Dance Groove commercials. If he's the best choreographer ever, I'm the Queen of the Damned.

Michael Ellis
07-14-2002, 02:13 AM
"HI, I'M BILLY MAYS FOR ORANGE CLEAN OR OXY-CLEAN OR SOMETHING, AND I'M GOING TO TALK IN AN ANNOYING LOUD VOICE ABOUT CLEANING MAPLE, WALNUT, CHESNUT, MAPLE, NITROGEN PHOSPHATE, HIGH GRADE NUCLEAR WASTE AND THE PLANET VENUS --"

*BANG!*

*Michael puts the shotgun down and gets a broom to sweep up the shattered remains of his TV.*

Tars Tarkas
07-14-2002, 02:26 AM
"Zoom Zoom---AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE***********"


Sez the zoom zoom kid as Tars Tarkas commits a felony....

RedDawgEsq
07-22-2002, 03:15 AM
NATIONWIDE WEARHOUSE!!!!!NATIONWIDE WAREHOUSE!!!!

Is there a segment of the population that actually responds positively to such ads?

aquariusrhimme
07-22-2002, 01:03 PM
...:::zoom zoom:::...

That little kid freaks my shit out for some reason

anya marie
07-23-2002, 03:24 PM
And i am tired of that tagline for Indiana Beach commercialsOn the shores of beayutiiiful Lake Monticello proving once again- There's more that corn in Indiana!

FUCK YOU!!! Especially because you're an asshole who live under a rock, and who assumes that the rest of us do too!! Hey, dickhead! Retire already , dipshit!

Alessan
07-23-2002, 05:01 PM
Listen to me very carefully: it does not look like a million dollars. It looks like a nice, average mid-priced sedan. If you think that by repeating "it looks expensive!" over and over again it will actually start to look expensive, then you're obviously stuck in the same odd alternate universe as the characters in your commercials, and I pity you.

That is all.

Ruffian
07-23-2002, 06:52 PM
Another one is the herpes medication ads. I don't know, I just do NOT think STD meds should be advertised on television! It grosses me out! And WHY are they always kayaking?!
Zepchick: Funniest damn thing...hubby and I were watching TV when a Zovirax commercial came on. Briefly. It got interrupted by another commercial, as has been known to happen, and so we got this:

Decent looking blond chick: "I take Zovirax...(comes in closer, slightly under breath)...for my genital herpes."

Commercial got cut off right there. I'm telling you, that was one helluva good laugh. "Gee, thanks for sharing! Good for you!"

Meanwhile, a new commercial that drives me CRAZY:

The V8 commercial with annoying boy making weird-ass noises in a restaurant. I start shrieking when I hear that "Dum dah dah dumm..." music start up, because I know those annoying sounds are following...

RedDawgEsq
07-23-2002, 08:36 PM
ANY commercial (mostly car ads but everybody else is now using the technique) where something fast moving (car) comes into the frame, then suddenly slows down to about 1/10 th of the initial speed with which it was moving, apparently so you can see and appreciate the details. This was pretty cool and eyecatching the first few times I saw it but now literally EVERYONE is using and it has become (for me) just irritating. But I have an incredibly high resistance to advertising in general anyway.

I also detest the voice-overs that attempt to duplicate the TRULY unique and innovative techniques of Ken Nordine. He's the voice-over artist who pioneered the technique of "equalizing" the high and low audio frequencies out of the feed (and reducing the volume) during certain segments of the copy so it sounds more like a telephone conversation and sounding like your "conscience" talking to you over your shoulder. Many have tried this technique since Ken introduced it, probably close to 20 years ago now, but they all soundy like copy-cats to me. It's kind of like hearing a "cover" of a hit song. NOBODY can do it like the original artist and I wish they'd quit trying. A good place to start for the Nordine uninitiated would be http://www.hipsurgerymusic.com/Nordine/
Just found out he was born in 1920, WHAT A GUY!

RedDawgEsq
07-23-2002, 09:12 PM
And what's with that OH-SO hip, St. Vitas Dance-afflicted, break-dancing/boogying-in-the-seat gal in the [forgot-brand-already-if-I-ever-knew-it] car ads? Does that really make all the "X" laden freekers want to go out and buy that sled?

And just WHERE is that hemi-cylindrical tunnel with the green lights that EVERY FRICKIN CAR IN THE WORLD seems to have to pass through to get where it's going? SHEESH!

photopat
07-24-2002, 12:30 PM
The commercials for scratch off lottery tickets usually talk about how "fun" it is to play.

Lets see...scratch the spots off, occasionally win a few bucks, hmm. Doesn't make me want to dance or high five anybody. Maybe if I won a few thousand on one.

Any commercial that features somebody whose entire life revolves around the product. I automatically develop a revulsion to those products.

voguevixen
07-24-2002, 07:34 PM
There's this lame commercial from the California Energy board's conservation campaign. The point is that if you wait to use major appliances until after 7PM it doesn't tax the grid as much, so to demonstrate they show this woman reading a book to her daughter in her high chair. The girl is munching on a bowl of dry Cheerios and the woman reads slower and slower stretching the story out so it ends at exactly 7 o'clock. The minute the story ends the little kid dumps the Cheerios on the floor and the mom starts wildly vacuuming them up.

#1 - Dry Cheerios do not require a vacuum, you could use a broom and dustpan and not use ANY electricity at ANY time of the day.

#2 - STOP GIVING THE FREAKING KID CHEERIOS IF SHE KEEPS DUMPING THEM ON THE FLOOR!!!!!

Is it just me?!?! Jebus, I want to kill someone when I see that!

owlofcreamcheese
07-25-2002, 12:03 AM
can you hear me now?

annieclaus
07-26-2002, 10:28 AM
The Mitsubishi robot girl creeps me out.
Any commercial with Carrot Top in it enrages me.
But the one that causes me to grab the remote is one for Michelina's Bowls frozen meals. There are two of them done to the tune of the Macarena. And they are hideous!

Wolfian
07-26-2002, 08:58 PM
That damn Subway ad where the obnoxious guy and his two lackies drive up to a fast drive-in and order a sandwich exclusive to Subway.

"I don't think that's on our menu," says the worker.

"Not only is it not on your menu, its' not on your radar screen," says obnoxious guy.

"We have a radar screen?"

I wish the fast food worker had called the cops just like on the Simpsons (Sir, its' a crime to tease the box.) and the obnoxious guy and his lackies were beaten to a pulp.

monica
07-27-2002, 07:15 PM
least favorite radio commercial: At the dump, at the dump, at the dump dump dump!

Also, all of the romantic diamonds are forever commercials. First of all, not being in a romantic situation at the moment, they make me sick! Also, if it takes a diamond to get a woman's interest, then you have a problem.

HPL
07-28-2002, 12:06 AM
Originally posted by monica
Also, if it takes a diamond to get a woman's interest, then you have a problem.

It also means you're probably interested in the wrong type of women.

HPL
07-28-2002, 12:08 AM
Originally posted by Michael Ellis
"HI, I'M BILLY MAYS FOR ORANGE CLEAN OR OXY-CLEAN OR SOMETHING, AND I'M GOING TO TALK IN AN ANNOYING LOUD VOICE ABOUT CLEANING MAPLE, WALNUT, CHESNUT, MAPLE, NITROGEN PHOSPHATE, HIGH GRADE NUCLEAR WASTE AND THE PLANET VENUS --"

*BANG!*

*Michael puts the shotgun down and gets a broom to sweep up the shattered remains of his TV.*

I've done that, but it gets to be a really expensive habit unless you give up TV afterwards.

zepchick
08-22-2002, 12:32 AM
I'm sorry, I know this thread is almost dead, but...I have to make an exception. I have found what is possibly the most enraging commercial ever...Just thinking about it makes my back molars tingle with anger and annoyance.

Cut to screen of a gondola going over water..."Somewhere in Venice...California". Then it goes to this chick pacing around her kitchen, "Ah! Pah-sta!" in a HORRIBLY overdone Italian accent. She goes to the freezer and says (in the same accent), "Ah! Bennay!". She sticks the thing in the microwave, and, while anxiously waiting with bulemic anticipation, what sounds like: "Multo bellay! Un-kol Bennay!" and other unbelievably stupid and nonsensical Italian/English phrases. She feeds it to her boyfriend ("Antonio!") and after he tastes the stupid shit, she's like "Good, huh?!".

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EXCUSE ME WHILE I BASH MY HEAD IN AGAINST THE TELEVISION!

zepchick
08-22-2002, 12:43 AM
I'm sorry, I know this thread is almost dead, but...I have to make an exception. I have found what is possibly the most enraging commercial ever...Just thinking about it makes my back molars tingle with anger and annoyance.

Cut to screen of a gondola going over water..."Somewhere in Venice...California". Then it goes to this chick pacing around her kitchen, "Ah! Pah-sta!" in a HORRIBLY overdone Italian accent. She goes to the freezer and says (in the same accent), "Ah! Bennay!". She sticks the thing in the microwave, and, while anxiously waiting with bulemic anticipation, what sounds like: "Multo bellay! Un-kol Bennay!" and other unbelievably stupid and nonsensical Italian/English phrases. She feeds it to her boyfriend ("Antonio!") and after he tastes the stupid shit, she's like "Good, huh?!".

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EXCUSE ME WHILE I BASH MY HEAD IN AGAINST THE TELEVISION!

Jaystercom
08-22-2002, 06:41 AM
The worst one in our area has got to be the one about Trojan Condoms. Their in a row boat and they run aground and she says something inane like he doesn't have the right equipment. He whips out the Trojan Her Pleasure and she says, "Oh Larry, now you have the right equipment" Oh gag.

Most of the commercials end up making you hate the product and definitely NOT using it.

Jaystercom
08-22-2002, 07:05 AM
How 'bout Cal Worthington and his damn used car dealerships. He was run out of Southern California so now he's moved up North, here with me...................UHG!!!!!!

And that ludicrus crap he says about Standing on his head to beat all deals.............PLEEEEZE...........He has showcased animals, a few considered wild over the years and I couldn't even count the times that I prayed the tiger would maul him to death or the Rhino would run over him and stomp him to death or even that he might get a feather stuck in his throat from the rooster he had on a leash, and choke to death. But NO, he's still around. Go figure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

airdisc
08-22-2002, 03:22 PM
The car commercial where it shows a part of the car, and the camera turns to another part, then goes back to the first one. Also, "We Will Rock You", one of the most annoying songs ever written, is playing.

angelicate
08-23-2002, 12:50 AM
Originally posted by wring
One that creeps me out (and I can't tell why) is a car commercial with a kid leaning towards the camera and whispering "zoom zoom" and cue the music "zoom zoom zoom"

I couldn't even tell you which car it's advertising.

It's talking about my car (Protege.). I'm so ashamed.
I can't stand those commercials either.


I hate the McDonald's one with the rapping princess and prince, talking about some new pita thing they've got, and then it snaps to the couple on the couch and the woman grabs her husband's(?) pita and devours it. It wouldn't be so bad, but the rapping they do it so horrible, and his voice is so flat and has no rhythm or beat at all. Ugh ugh ugh.

I hate almost any local commercial that has the owners kids playing the main parts. Also, on the same note, commercials with kids singing.

There was one that showed in Houston when I still lived in TX, for a furniture place, IIRC. It had two 40-something men wearing beanbags, and at the end of the commercial, when they were telling you where the store was, they'd say "Where the bean bags are!", but on different words, they'd either stick their arms out in front of them, or hit their chests. Argh.

Mesquite, TX used to have a bad one in the early 90's for Trophy Nissan. Lots of business type people singing "At Trophy, Trophy, Trophy Nissan! You can buy it from a girl, you can buy it from a man!" (I might not be 100% correct on the words, but that's how I remember it.)

Radio Shack, with the chick from Lois and Clark. Ugh. Someone dispose of her, please.

The AOL commercial that's been running recently. You know, one person says "And when I log on, a REALLY COOL voice tells me "You've got mail!"
Next person: "Oh, I just LOVE that!"
Person 3: "I wonder who that guy is?!"

Another Houston one? The Mattress Giant. He kind of looked like a tall, butch-er Mr Clean in Jesus sandals, and the jingle sounded pornographic. "Oooh, Aaah. Ooo, Ahhh. Only at Mattress Giant (Oooh, Ahh), only at Mattress Giant (and this is where the porno chick comes in. A very long, drawn out, "Oooooooohhhh, Ahhhhhhh")

angelicate
08-23-2002, 01:05 AM
Originally posted by wring
One that creeps me out (and I can't tell why) is a car commercial with a kid leaning towards the camera and whispering "zoom zoom" and cue the music "zoom zoom zoom"

I couldn't even tell you which car it's advertising.

It's talking about my car (Protege.). I'm so ashamed.
I can't stand those commercials either.


I hate the McDonald's one with the rapping princess and prince, talking about some new pita thing they've got, and then it snaps to the couple on the couch and the woman grabs her husband's(?) pita and devours it. It wouldn't be so bad, but the rapping they do it so horrible, and his voice is so flat and has no rhythm or beat at all. Ugh ugh ugh.

I hate almost any local commercial that has the owners kids playing the main parts. Also, on the same note, commercials with kids singing.

There was one that showed in Houston when I still lived in TX, for a furniture place, IIRC. It had two 40-something men wearing beanbags, and at the end of the commercial, when they were telling you where the store was, they'd say "Where the bean bags are!", but on different words, they'd either stick their arms out in front of them, or hit their chests. Argh.

Mesquite, TX used to have a bad one in the early 90's for Trophy Nissan. Lots of business type people singing "At Trophy, Trophy, Trophy Nissan! You can buy it from a girl, you can buy it from a man!" (I might not be 100% correct on the words, but that's how I remember it.)

Radio Shack, with the chick from Lois and Clark. Ugh. Someone dispose of her, please.

The AOL commercial that's been running recently. You know, one person says "And when I log on, a REALLY COOL voice tells me "You've got mail!"
Next person: "Oh, I just LOVE that!"
Person 3: "I wonder who that guy is?!"

Another Houston one? The Mattress Giant. He kind of looked like a tall, butch-er Mr Clean in Jesus sandals, and the jingle sounded pornographic. "Oooh, Aaah. Ooo, Ahhh. Only at Mattress Giant (Oooh, Ahh), only at Mattress Giant (and this is where the porno chick comes in. A very long, drawn out, "Oooooooohhhh, Ahhhhhhh")

Windwalker
08-29-2002, 04:23 AM
Originally posted by angelicate

Radio Shack, with the chick from Lois and Clark. Ugh. Someone dispose of her, please.

The AOL commercial that's been running recently. You know, one person says "And when I log on, a REALLY COOL voice tells me "You've got mail!"
Next person: "Oh, I just LOVE that!"
Person 3: "I wonder who that guy is?!"
[/B]

LoL, that AOL commercial is hilarious! I generally find AOL commercials to be extremely funny, as if they were really subtle SNL skits. In fact, a lot of the commercials that people have mentioned here are quite funny, in my opinion. But I guess I find that people trying not to act stupid but failing... very amusing...

The only commercials I really don't like are the out and out annoying ones, like that Radio Shack Teri and Howie bit, and Carrot Top is starting to bug me too. Anything loud or obnoxious basically. The dumb and lame commercials are just funny in their lameness. Not that it makes me want to buy their product, but at least I am entertained until the show comes back on...

And I tend to forgive any commercial that has good music, unless they happen to butcher it to work in the product names. In that case, I get angry :mad:

- Wind

Zazie
08-29-2002, 12:42 PM
angelicate... thank you for mentionning the Matress Giant one... ouuuuuuuhhhhhhh aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Drives me totally insane...

PS : it must be a national one, because we have it here (Mass) as well! Poor nation....!!

Sunspace
08-29-2002, 02:50 PM
Goddess, I'm glad I don't subscribe to cable any more...Every major metropolitan area has a business that is universally despised for their obnoxious television commercials....but these damn commercials get me anyways. In Toronto during the late nineties there was Oliver, the jeweler who will buy YOUR jewelery FOR CASH!!! All over the radio. All over the TV. I tried to escape. So he took out ads in the theatres. Not only did we get to see him fifty times larger than life, but we got to pay through the nose for it too!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Then there were the Al Palladini's Pinetree Lincoln Mercury Ford "Any Palladini's a Pal O' Mine!!!" car ads that blanketed CFNY, an alternative rock station whose audience was characterised by college students, who as everyone knows have plenty of disposable income and live to buy new cars. Grrr. After fifteen years I still remeber them. And Al Palladini himself, a used-car salesman, went on to become <sob> Minister of Transport.

And of course the Bad Boy furniture-store ads, featuring Mel Lastman in prison stripes, and the immortal tagline, "Who's better than Bad Boy? Nooobody!!!" This owner went on to become <whimper>Mayor of Toronto. And his son carried on the tradition, 'enhancing' the ads with lame computer animation.

I think these ads partly explain the decline of Toronto.

Greywolf73
08-29-2002, 11:38 PM
The single-most annoying commercial I've ever seen is one that runs locally around here.
Nice, sunny kitchen--kids and Mom are eating breakfast, Dad is hurrying around, straightening his tie and gulping his coffee...

Voice-over says" Bob planned for his children's futures, he invested and has money set aside for their college education..blah, blah, blah...Bob is well-prepared (or words to that effect)...But..IN TWELVE MINUTES BOB WILL BE DEAD."

At this point, I can no longer concentrate on the commercial or risk having my head implode, so I'm not sure if the commercial is for life insurance or a local church.

Another local commercial that just cracks me up is one for vinyl siding. The owner of the company is extolling the virtues of his company, the main one being "We don't hire drunks or druggies."
He says those exact words!
Gah.

There are a couple of radio spots that make me grit my teeth. One for Little Cricket gas stations, featuring a man singing with annoying children in the background.
"Little Cricket....DUMMY!"

Then there's the one for a bail bondsman with a young woman singing quite soulfully "Call 1-800-blah blah blah...We'll get you ouuuuuut!"

Diff T
08-30-2002, 12:34 AM
Originally posted by Greywolf73
The single-most annoying commercial I've ever seen is one that runs locally around here.
Nice, sunny kitchen--kids and Mom are eating breakfast, Dad is hurrying around, straightening his tie and gulping his coffee...

Voice-over says" Bob planned for his children's futures, he invested and has money set aside for their college education..blah, blah, blah...Bob is well-prepared (or words to that effect)...But..IN TWELVE MINUTES BOB WILL BE DEAD."

At this point, I can no longer concentrate on the commercial or risk having my head implode, so I'm not sure if the commercial is for life insurance or a local church.

Another local commercial that just cracks me up is one for vinyl siding. The owner of the company is extolling the virtues of his company, the main one being "We don't hire drunks or druggies."
He says those exact words!
Gah.

There are a couple of radio spots that make me grit my teeth. One for Little Cricket gas stations, featuring a man singing with annoying children in the background.
"Little Cricket....DUMMY!"

Then there's the one for a bail bondsman with a young woman singing quite soulfully "Call 1-800-blah blah blah...We'll get you ouuuuuut!"


This thread isn't funny when people list local commercials.

Greywolf73
08-30-2002, 02:59 PM
Originally posted by Diff T



This thread isn't funny when people list local commercials.

Really? I find it hilarious.
It's funny because no matter where you live, local commercials are almost always mind-numbingly silly in the same sort of way.

Engywook
08-30-2002, 03:37 PM
Originally posted by alibey
The comercial for gevalia coffee,

exec 1 offers exec 2 some coffee, exec 2 politly declines, then proceeds to leave the building, passing a coffe wagon, coffee house and boards a bus to go home for......you guessed it a cup of gevalia coffee.

Now this strikes me as 1. the dude is not smart enuff (or has the forethought) to bring in some of the stuff from home 2. he must not be needed at the office if he can take the day off to go home for a cup of joe.

Yes, I am looking forward to the day that exec gets fired because he's taking really long coffee breaks in a bad economy.

But the old gevalia commercial was much worse. No place else have I seen 60 more bloated and sickening seconds... "If your love is coffee, your passion will be gevalia." And that's not even the worst of this poorly penned paen to (what I am told) is a very second-rate cup of swill.

I also hate: any food commercial featuring a person taking a bite out of something, while a look of stoned rapture passes over his or her face. It's a god damned slice of pizza, not something that will bend reality for you.

Any commercials with babies.

And last, those ads soliciting donations for children in developing nations. Everybody knows that it's a worthy cause. But why oh why do they insist that they need to take four minutes of your time to explain it to you? Do they not realize that people will change the channel or make a run to the grocery store instead of watching a documentary about starvation they've already seen?

Ersatz Shmoe
08-31-2002, 06:39 AM
I've got three:

The "Only men, women and children get AIDS" one is totally ruined by the sing-song end. It makes me crack up every time.

I don't know if this is local or not, but there's a radio ad for a brake repair place where, after hearing a shrill brake squeal, this woman shrieks, "YOU didn't get the BRAKES fixed! Are you trying to KILL us?" Gah.

But the one that really bugs me is the one with Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy advertising Denny's where Miss Piggy orders 3 Grand Slam breakfasts. After that, they go on to tell you that half of the damn breakfast is bacon and ham. Then Kermit makes a lame joke about not liking French food because they eat frog legs, while Miss Piggy is chowing down on pork. The hell?

angelicate
08-31-2002, 02:26 PM
Carine:
I had no idea that Mattress Giant was a nationwide thing. The commercials are so low budget, I almost had a hard time believing (wrongly, I guess!) that it was a local Houston store and not one from my (much smaller) hometown.