Clippit The Paper Clip [Archive] - Straight Dope Message Board

Hungry Boy

09-24-1999, 03:08 PM

Flame me for abusing a forum for intelligent discussion but I am at my wit's end. They just installed Office 97 at work and that grinning paper clip is driving me nuts. Any hints for disabling him -- permanently?

As well, can anyone explain to me how this (the cartoon) is an improvement from Word 95?

Sofa King

09-24-1999, 03:18 PM

You can ask the paper clip, "how do I get rid of that stupid office assistant?" It will tell you this:

Get Help without the Office Assistant

· On the Help menu, click Contents and Index.

Tip To display Help without the Office Assistant when you press F1, click Options. (If the Options button is not visible, click the Assistant, and then click Options.) On the Options tab, clear the Respond to F1 key check box.

As far as I can tell, it doesn't work. But hey, at least it's not Bob.

Inky

09-24-1999, 03:26 PM

Sound like something a "Rockford Files" villian would say...

"he time cas come to disable him...PERMINENTLY!"

Hungry Boy

09-24-1999, 03:44 PM

Thanks for the idea, Ink. Maybe if I just backed the thing over with my gold Trans Am...

Eris

09-24-1999, 03:48 PM

Upgrade to Office 2000. There's a lovely little check box in the "Options" settings for the Office Assistant labelled "Use the Office Assistant." Once unchecked, the Office Assistant will happily disappear forever.

One presumes that Microsoft, tired of zillions of phone calls threatening physical harm if they didn't get rid of that paper clip, decided to make it easier to get rid of him. I did manage to kill it permanently in Office 97, but I forget now how I did it.

threemae

09-24-1999, 03:56 PM

I do not know, I sort of like the paper clip and his companions, they are like pets, and it is the most convienent way to get to the written question help search tool.

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There is no safety for honest men but by believing all possible evil of evil men.

--Edmund Burke

Hungry Boy

09-24-1999, 04:01 PM

Companions? What do you mean companions? What other horrors lurk in Office 97?

Mojo

09-24-1999, 04:03 PM

You can replace him with an Einstein clone, a dinosaur, or several other options. All of which are equally evil.

Hungry Boy

09-24-1999, 04:23 PM

You're kidding me. Right?

Eris

09-24-1999, 04:50 PM

Sadly, no, Mojo is not kidding. You need the Office 97 CD though - only Clippit is installed by default. The others all have the potential to be far, far more annoying than Clippit. There's a stupid ball, a stupider robot, the aforementioned Einstein clone, a dumb-looking cat and a moronic dog. Worse yet, each has a "personality."

Narile

09-24-1999, 07:36 PM

Actually, wasn't Clippit permanently mangled and removed in an MS presentation earlier this year when they introduced Office2000? (I know that the 'companions' were not removed, but I thought Clippit was.)

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>>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry....unless the other guy is bigger than you.<<

---The dragon observes

Zyada

09-24-1999, 09:37 PM

Hey, I kinda like the Mother Earth thingie!

My WAG is that Microsoft thinks the average user is not quite as smart as a paper clip.

TVeblen

09-24-1999, 09:43 PM

I sadly ratify all of the above. As hideous as it is, yes, basic help got "cutsie-pied" into Einstein et al. I finally slew that (@*^&*^* paper clip, but it was in a fugue state so I don't remember how it was done.

As I recall, it involved a lot of really vile cursing, but no Trans Am. But whatever works. Got a Humvee??

A hammer may have been involved though.

A nontechincal reply, but I'd suggest just cussing a blue streak.

Abominates talking office supplies,
Veb

AuraSeer

09-25-1999, 01:05 PM

In the directory where you installed Office, you should find a subdir called "Actors". This will contain at least one file, CLIPPIT.ACT; if other assistants are installed, their files will be there too.

To kill the assistant, delete all files in the Actors subdirectory.

moriah

09-25-1999, 03:28 PM

Sing along time:

 

Clip-it, the paper clip

The friendliest clip you know.

The  techies might look
at him with fright,

But the newbies all love him
so.

He always says hello

And he's really glad to meet
ya'

Wherever you may go,

He'll chime to every freakin'
feature

Tech - ies don't understand,

Why Redmond loves him the most,

But they all know that he's
gotta go,

Clipit the cutesy host!

 

An electonic h-h-h-h-host!!

RealityChuck

09-25-1999, 07:31 PM

Check this out:

http://www.zdnet.com/zdhelp/stories/main/0,5594,2226725-1,00.html

It tells several ways to kill Clippy.

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www.sff.net/people/rothman (http://www.sff.net/people/rothman)

typertrphy

09-25-1999, 08:33 PM

Not for nothing, but... you DO realize that if you delete those files, and little Actor things, two things will happen to you.

1) The next time you sign onto the Internet, using Internet Explorer, Microsoft will KNOW that you have deleted those Actors. They will reinstall the icons, and make them UNremoveable.

2) The Screen Actors Guild will ALSO know that you have deleted the icons. Not only will they be very angry with you, but the odds are long that you will be permitted to stand in line at TKTS in Times Square for half-price tickets for Les Mis ( I don't know that Les Mis is WORTH standing in line, but to you, it might be).

A suggestion? Don't DELETE the icons, but..REPLACE them. How cool, to have ( instead of the aforementioned Clip) a small shot of Fido, the dog. Or, Mr. Spock (r). Whatever. The point is, that icons are like soundwaves, you can replace one with another, leave the name the same, and therefore customize out the wazoo.

I remain, your idle....Typer :)

" If you wanna kiss the sky, you'd better learn how to kneel ".

BoBettie

09-26-1999, 12:21 AM

I'm going to try replacing those icons as mentioned-
FWIW, as a computer instructor- my students LOVE clippit and company. They are really helpful for new users and cute to boot. I am using Office 2000 and the doggie helper- and I'm damned proud of it!

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Run for the hills, folks! Or you'll be up to your armpits in martians!

BoBettie

09-26-1999, 12:31 AM

Typer,
How exactly do you go about replacing those icons? I went into that directory, found a file called "rocky.acs" (the dog one). I had a jpg file on my drive called "brady.jpg", which I copied into the office directory and changed the filename to "brady.acs". No dice- I got an error about the helper function upon starting Word. Any ideas??

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Run for the hills, folks! Or you'll be up to your armpits in martians!

AuraSeer

09-26-1999, 08:58 PM

typertrphy, understand that I say this with the utmost respect: you are wrong. Completely effing wrong. Here's a nickel, come back when you've bought yourself a clue. Your remark about the Screen Actors Guild makes me suspect that you're joking, but if that's the case, don't put forth "humor" as fact.

Zette, ignore everything that Typer said, and just delete the files I mentioned. The actor files are in a special format, and cannot be replaced with ordinary image files.

The only time the actor files will be replaced is if you install a new Office application, or reinstall an existing one. That will explicitly replace the files in that directory. Other than that, there is no circumstance in which the files will reappear.

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Laugh hard; it's a long way to the bank.

BoBettie

09-26-1999, 09:07 PM

Aura,
Thanks for the info...I assumed (incorrectly) that if someone was posting something like:
The point is, that icons are like soundwaves, you can replace one with another, leave the name the same, and therefore customize out the wazoo

That they had at least tried it or that it was correct. It apparently wasn't. Thanks for your help

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I'm very lucky. The only time I was ever up shit creek, I just happened to have a paddle with me.
--George Carlin

MrKnowItAll

09-26-1999, 09:54 PM

Personally, I don't find the "Clipster" all that annoying. I've never had a problem shutting him off if he gets annoying.

Also, yes there are several other characters you can replace him with. I've switched to this cat character that appears to be made of pieces of scrap paper. (I forget his name.) If you want to check these out, go here:

http://officeupdate.microsoft.com/

Select one of your Office products from the menu and go to the free downloads. The ones that are listed with the type "assistant" are other characters.

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Carpe hoc!

rjk

09-26-1999, 10:59 PM

A co-worker mailed this to me, so I have no idea where it came from (though it seems British). It's appropriate anyway.

http://www.kwantlen.bc.ca/~robertk/OFFICE.gif

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Bob the Random Expert
"If we don't have the answer, we'll make one up."

Hungry Boy

09-27-1999, 09:20 AM

Deleting Clippit and company ffrom the Actors folder seems to have done the job. Thanks to all!

Koxinga

09-27-1999, 10:27 AM

I recently switched my work computer from Chinese-version to English version Windows, and the only drawback was that I couldn't use the little "Office Lady" helper that I had used on my previous computer. (She looks like a little Japanese office lady, young, and drawn as an anime-style cartoon.) I missed her, so I copied the pertinent "actor" (*.ACT) file from my old computer to the new computer, and sure enough it worked. I can once again take pleasure in typing descriptions of various, ahem, techniques when she pops up with that starting prompt, "What would you like to do"? (So far she claims not to understand my queries--playing coy, I'll bet.)

Rocky was not much better--he only understood one of my suggestions.

DHR

UncleBeer

09-27-1999, 02:34 PM

I hate those damn things too. I found you can just change the file extension.

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One complete set of morals for sale to highest bidder, new in box.

sivancat

09-27-1999, 03:24 PM

I hate to admit it, but I find "Rocky" the dog (another MicroSoft Office helper) pretty cute. His animations make me smile. I can't stand any of the other helpers that came with the program.

curwin

07-12-2001, 05:34 AM

Microsoft is getting rid of Clippy in Office XP and even has a self-defacing web site about it:

http://www.microsoft.com/office/clippy/

They even got Gilbert Gottfried to do the voice.

However, obviously, if they had never made Clippy in the first place, they wouldn't need to make fun of him now...

Derleth

07-12-2001, 06:37 AM

Originally posted by Sofa King
But hey, at least it's not Bob.

What, exactly, was Bob? I vaguely remember something, but my memory is about as reliable as a politician, so would somebody fill me in about Bob?

Or, as the movie title went, What About Bob? (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0103241) (Death Therapy!)

:D

AHunter3

07-12-2001, 07:40 AM

Uninstalling Microsoft Office will probably do the trick.

(Have you considered Lotus SmartSuite? That plus DataViz Conversions Plus will let you survive in an Office-centric environment without Office programs and no one the wiser.)

slortar

07-12-2001, 08:30 AM

mobo85

07-12-2001, 05:20 PM

Originally posted by Derleth
Originally posted by Sofa King
But hey, at least it's not Bob.

What, exactly, was Bob? I vaguely remember something, but my memory is about as reliable as a politician, so would somebody fill me in about Bob?

Or, as the movie title went, What About Bob? (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0103241) (Death Therapy!)

:D

If memory serves me right, back in 1994 or 1995, Microsoft wanted to make computers more "friendly." So along came Microsoft Bob. It was basically a friendly computer interface. It turned your computer into a "house," to which you could add and remove rooms and add decorations, as well as program icons. One feature of Bob was the small characters which helped out. Microsoft is still keen on this part of the technology, and added it to Office (some of the Office Assistants are actually refugees from Bob) and is trying to improve it Internet-style with Microsoft Agents.

Clippy was hired for Office after Bob's demise, in case anyone wonders. One of the most interesting things is that the main programmer of Bob was a woman named Melinda who is now Bill Gates' wife. Hmm...

Morbo

07-12-2001, 05:35 PM

No, the main programmer for the Bob interface was not Melinda Gates - she was in Marketing, for a very brief time. Where do people get this stuff? I happen to know the main programmer for Bob, b/c he still works for Microsoft - he's a PPT Dev in the Office group, as am I.

FYI, Clippit was never hated more vehemently than by the Office Devs and Testers at MS. At company meetings, the different App groups tried to "one-up" each other by demoing various ways in which Clippit was destroyed.

Sofa King

07-12-2001, 05:57 PM

Heh. That's a cool story, Dooku

The way I learned it, Bob (http://www.gratefuldad.com/twinsoft/products/msbob/msbob.html) was notorious for getting all up in your s&!t at inopportune times, not unlike our pal Clippy (http://www.attrition.org/gallery/ms/paperclip.gif), only (I'm told) worse.

In the intervening time between when this thread was started and now, rumors of Bob's return (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/19349.html) in both Office and Windows XP have arisen a number of times, most recently only six weeks ago.

I'm curious to know, has anyone seen Rover scratching about in the beta versions of XP, or did Little Bill finally pull the trigger on Old Yeller? I'm almost afraid to ask you directly there, Dook. Feel free to take the Fifth.

Morbo

07-12-2001, 06:24 PM

Actually, since '96 I've been exclusively on the Mac side, so I don't really keep up with the Jonses over in Windows. But would it surprise me to see Rover in XP? Eh.....not as much as it would surprise me if it were the Moof cow. ;-)

If I had to guess at how it happened? The assistants have always been driven by the UA team, (UA = User Assistance - Help engines, Help DOC content, etc), which has its own schedule and arrives in the product cycle later, self-contained. (in that it just hooks up to the pointers we've already placed in the code). So, the fresh-faced new PM (www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/19349.html) that came along was more likely a UA guy, not a Windows guy.

Spoons

07-12-2001, 10:08 PM

Originally posted by Dooku
FYI, Clippit was never hated more vehemently than by the Office Devs and Testers at MS. At company meetings, the different App groups tried to "one-up" each other by demoing various ways in which Clippit was destroyed.

I heard once that Clippit was what happened when the Marketing Department drew up the specifications for a product. I took it with a grain of salt until I read your post, Dooku. :) Maybe that explains it.

Anyway. The best way I've found of disabling Clippit and his friends (because the place I worked at did not let us just delete application files of any sort willy-nilly) was to rename the Actors directory. I called mine "oldactors" so any subsequent user would be able to find it easily. But it worked, and Clippit never bothered me again.

"It looks like you're writing a letter...."

Argh!

Milton De La Warre

07-13-2001, 05:59 AM

I love the Dog, as he looks a little like my real Dog. She's a blonde Cocker.

FWIW, we have something like 4000 PC users at this installation. Most all got MS Windows 2000 as a part of the Y2K upgrade. The overwhelming preference is for the Dog (Rocky), with the cat coming in a somewhat distant second. Of the total number of users, to my knowledge there are only a couple of hundred who don't like the helper at all and have it hidden.

The "Einstein clone" is actually named "The Genius". I don't know if there was an issue with hs estate or what. Maybe the next release will feature Johnny Bravo as an option.

Personally, I like the Dot the least, as it reminds me of Wal-Mart. This doesn't include the MS Office "Puzzle" logo helper, which has as far as I can see no discernable personality whatsoever. I am probably not alone in this opinion, as this helper is the least frequently seen on our PCs here.

Yersinia Pestis

07-14-2001, 09:34 AM

Um, there's a rather simple way to get rid of Clippit & Co. that I don't think was mentioned. In his "What would you like to do?" speech bubble, there's a button marked "options". Click it. Then uncheck "Use Office Assistant."

Buh-bye!

Yersinia

Alan Smithee

07-14-2001, 10:17 AM

From the Microsoft Clippy page (http://www.microsoft.com/office/clippy/) link provided by curwin:

Clippy's TO DO List
. . . . .

· Help people fix the carburetors on their '74 Dodge Darts
I'm amazed! A reference to Car Talk! Maybe I misjudged the little *&@%. I wonder if anyone at MS besides the person who wrote it recognizes it.

Johanna

07-14-2001, 12:13 PM

Like Zyada, I enjoyed the Mother Earth one at first, though I had no use for the others. I liked watching her animation. But after a while it got old I disabled the Office Assistant thing entirely. I connected the idea of a Mother Earth personality with Microsoft's location in the Pacific Northwest, also known as "Ecotopia."*

*Ecotopia was a 1975 Utopian novel of the near future, by Ernest Callenbach, in which the Pacific Northwest region secedes from the rest of the country and implements environmentalism.

Max Torque

07-14-2001, 12:35 PM

The least offensive assistant, to me, is F1 the robot. When I was experimenting with the assistants, I checked out how each one looked, then closed the window. When I closed F1, he got this awful rejected look on his face and slowly walked off, as if he really didn't want to go. I felt so bad, like I'd really hurt his feelings.