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View Full Version : Guys, When At A Urinal......


Quasimodem
08-13-2011, 10:10 PM
(yeah, I know: Another one of Quasi's TMI threads!:p)

........ do you "free Willie" or just let him "peek out"?

By that I mean, do you undo your britches, and kinda just hold them groin-high while you pee, or do you just unzip?

Personally, I free him, because it seems to help the flow. At my age, it takes me a while to get started, and additionally, it gives me a chance to re-adjust my shirt and belt.

Also, I find it prevents that "after-pee" dribble when I do that. ;)

Thanks

Q

silenus
08-13-2011, 10:12 PM
I wear suspenders (bad case of Dunlap's) so I usually unzip, unfasten and air out the boys while John Henry takes care of business.

Diogenes the Cynic
08-13-2011, 10:23 PM
I let the dog off the leash. Better stream.

sparky!
08-13-2011, 10:28 PM
I drop my pants to my ankles, poke him through my boxers flap, and let 'er rip with my hands finger locked behind my head.

Harmonious Discord
08-13-2011, 10:31 PM
You just reminded me of the guy that dropped his pants to his ankles in an extremely large busy public toilet. His hairy ass cleared out half the urinals in about 10 seconds. I just left until he he came out of the toilet.

Two Many Cats
08-13-2011, 11:06 PM
Clevon Little's voice: "'Scuse me while I whip this out."

cmyk
08-14-2011, 03:12 AM
Out the zipper... always have. My "bandwidth" seems unaffected compared to going freestyle at home.

Illuminatiprimus
08-14-2011, 03:19 AM
I wasn't even aware people "peeked" - seems like a silly thing to do.

don't ask
08-14-2011, 03:30 AM
Here in Australia we are pretty casual about such things and just leave it however the bathroom attendant takes it out for us.

GameHat
08-14-2011, 03:35 AM
I'm not sure about this poll; I can't tell what it means.

As I read it there are two options - the first, unbutton, unzip and then lower the trousers below the buttocks. All Butters (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butters_Stotch) style.

The second - just unzip the fly, then maneuver Captain Happy through the fly. All through that narrow opening of teeth.

Both sound terrible so I'm holding off on voting. Personally, I undo the button, unzip, take only the front of the pants down, and keep my eyes on my own business. Not sure how the rest of you champs are pissing.

cmyk
08-14-2011, 03:39 AM
I can see undoing the belt, button, and fly, but letting your pants and/or underwear hang below your ass? Weird.

Quasimodem
08-14-2011, 04:08 AM
I can see undoing the belt, button, and fly, but letting your pants and/or underwear hang below your ass? Weird.

Did I say "below the ass?". Sorry, that isn't what I meant. I meant just hold the pants UP right at groin level as you piss. That's not below the ass, is it?:)

Q

Quasimodem
08-14-2011, 04:13 AM
I'm not sure about this poll; I can't tell what it means.

As I read it there are two options - the first, unbutton, unzip and then lower the trousers below the buttocks. All Butters (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butters_Stotch) style.

The second - just unzip the fly, then maneuver Captain Happy through the fly. All through that narrow opening of teeth.

Both sound terrible so I'm holding off on voting. Personally, I undo the button, unzip, take only the front of the pants down, and keep my eyes on my own business. Not sure how the rest of you champs are pissing.

Take another look at the OP, GH. ;)

Thanks

Q

Quasimodem
08-14-2011, 04:16 AM
I wasn't even aware people "peeked" - seems like a silly thing to do.

Ummmm. Okay, guess that one must have flown beneath your radar. Sorry about that.:)

Q

Crown Prince of Irony
08-14-2011, 04:36 AM
Option 1 - Let the freak flag fly, man!
Not that I'm implying that my unit is in any way freakish, or resembles a flag.

Quasimodem
08-14-2011, 04:51 AM
Or a flagpole......

;)

Q

jackdavinci
08-14-2011, 04:57 AM
I usually use a stall. I'm a bit pee shy. Plus certain pants/undergear demand significant lowering or else the urethra is squeezed and flow is obstructed.

If I'm in a place like Penn Station and forced to use a urinal I'll unbutton, unzip, use my left hand to decrease any pressure from my clothing under my balls and use my right hand to aim.

cmyk
08-14-2011, 04:17 PM
Did I say "below the ass?". Sorry, that isn't what I meant. I meant just hold the pants UP right at groin level as you piss. That's not below the ass, is it?:)

Q

Ahh, sorry, I misunderstood. ;)

cmyk
08-14-2011, 04:20 PM
Option 1 - Let the freak flag fly, man!
Not that I'm implying that my unit is in any way freakish, or resembles a flag.

Then why do you hum the National Anthem?

And yes, I'm following you. :eek:

Illuminatiprimus
08-14-2011, 05:30 PM
Ummmm. Okay, guess that one must have flown beneath your radar. Sorry about that.:)

QI'd thank you not to "ummmmmm" me as if what I said was completely and utterly moronic.

The Conqueror Worm
08-14-2011, 06:00 PM
*scowls* Why do you want to know?

fifty-six
08-14-2011, 06:31 PM
I very rarely pee indoors. When nessasary I unbutton and unzip. One hand for me and one resting on the lever. I usually take a look at the next guy if there is one.

WarmNPrickly
08-14-2011, 08:17 PM
Option 1 - Let the freak flag fly, man!
Not that I'm implying that my unit is in any way freakish, or resembles a flag.

So long as it's not "standing at attention", I'm sure it wouldn't bother me.

jackdavinci
08-14-2011, 11:21 PM
I wasn't even aware people "peeked" - seems like a silly thing to do.

No disrespect, just curiosity, what did you think the front access hole in various forms of underwear was for then?

Illuminatiprimus
08-15-2011, 04:47 AM
No disrespect, just curiosity, what did you think the front access hole in various forms of underwear was for then?Okay, I'm confused now - we all seem to be talking about different things.

Okay, just read the OP again - I'll revise my answer to "peek" but the definition of that depends on whether I'm wearing button flies or zip flies (if you're wearing button flies you have to undo and open your trousers). I don't think I've ever even witnessed someone undoing their trousers and dropping them to below groin height to pee so apologies for missing the point, I thought this was a "do you take great pains to hide your penis whilst peeing or not?" thread.

Quasimodem
08-15-2011, 05:43 AM
Apologies as well for my snarky reply, Illuminatiprimus.

It's hard to desribe, but one slides down the zipper after undoing the belt, and slides the pants down till just underneath the penis, and supports the pants with one hand while guiding the penis with the other (or, if drunk, using the other to support oneself against the wall!:D)

I'd show a picture, but din't want to use up the bandwidth. ;)

Q

Illuminatiprimus
08-15-2011, 07:14 AM
I think I'm good without the picture Quasi :)

I can confirm I've never witnessed this, with the exception of when you need to open your fly completely because they're button up. I have heard of the phenomenon of pulling one's trousers down completely and leaving them on the floor when one takes a piss - now THAT defies sense!

amanset
08-15-2011, 08:18 AM
Peeking can be very awkward with button fly jeans. The first button is a pain to undo.

Balthisar
08-15-2011, 09:19 AM
Really, it depends on my underwear, and sometimes on my pants. Most of my pants have a huge access area exposed by opening the zipper, but one set of pants that I can't wait to get rid of has a zipper that doesn't go down far enough. Ah, but certain sets of underwear confuse things as well. My preference is speed, meaning that when I can, it's zipper only.

corkboard
08-15-2011, 09:43 AM
Only one of my many pairs of pants are button-fly. When I wear those, I unbuckle my belt, unbutton the fly, pull out the monster and let 'er rip. On all other pants with zippers I just unzip, pull out the monster, and aim for the urinal cake. I never realized so many guys went through more disrobing just to take a leak.

bouv
08-15-2011, 07:55 PM
Free him all the way. Why just poke through the zipper? Seems like a recipe for disaster *shudder*

Also, I use two hands when I pee, just as God intended. One hand (in my case, the left, but it matters little) is used to hold the boxers elastic out of the way. I just put my thumb in, going straight down from the sack, and then slightly off to the left. The other hand holds El Wang. I suppose you can use just one, to hold the wang, but the other hand moving the elastic out of the way just makes it a little more comfy...why have it jam into the underside of your sack if you don't have to?

Oh, and you people who don't use either hand and put them both on your hips...knock it off! You're not impressing anyone, so stop showing off whatever it is you're showing off...seriously, what's the point of not even using one hand? Seems dangerous...what if you slightly miscalculated and an errant stream misses?

voltaire
08-15-2011, 08:38 PM
Oh, and you people who don't use either hand and put them both on your hips...knock it off! You're not impressing anyone, so stop showing off whatever it is you're showing off...seriously, what's the point of not even using one hand? Seems dangerous...what if you slightly miscalculated and an errant stream misses?

Those are the guys preparing their excuse for not washing their hands.

GameHat
08-15-2011, 11:07 PM
Take another look at the OP, GH. ;)

Thanks

Q

Oh, Q. :D

I think maybe we have different definitions of "groin". I see the wiki def of groin, which is "the two creases at the junction of the torso with the legs". Perhaps my own definition is incorrect. I'm no groin expert, I admit. I've always thought of it as more...southern. Meaning (rude spoiler incoming)


From the sack, south, to the navel, north


But fair enough. I'll readmit my preference.

I pull the front of my pants down over "l'il GameHat" to do my business. Never through the fly, that just seems dangerous. But I never expose the twins.

11811
08-16-2011, 12:49 PM
Here in Australia we are pretty casual about such things and just leave it however the bathroom attendant takes it out for us.

Punchline to one of my dad's favorite jokes: I can't speak for the rest of the waiters, but I use these tongs.

tdn
08-16-2011, 01:06 PM
Never through the fly, that just seems dangerous.

Really, it's relatively safe. The chances of the Mad Zipper Upper running by and zipping you up, thereby mashing your fun hose in zipper teeth, thus cutting it off and having it fall into the toilet, only to be flushed away into oblivion, are extremely rare. I'm almost 50 and have only lost 3 penises that way.

Typo Negative
08-16-2011, 01:18 PM
I generally strip naked.

It can be disconcerting for others in the bathroom.

But not as weird as the guys who pull it out and then put their hands on their hips in that 'Superman looking over the city from the top of skyscaper' pose. That freaks me out!

tdn
08-16-2011, 01:20 PM
But not as weird as the guys who pull it out and then put their hands on their hips in that 'Superman looking over the city from the top of skyscaper' pose. That freaks me out!

What do you think Superman was doing?

notquitekarpov
08-16-2011, 01:25 PM
Why on earth do you think your trousers come with a fly? Obviously to unzip and pee through without having all the hassel of undoing everything.

Now with button down jeans then you have no choice but to work your way down the buttons but otherwise otherwise?

Some weird people out there.

Larry Mudd
08-16-2011, 03:01 PM
Why on earth do you think your trousers come with a fly? Obviously to unzip and pee through without having all the hassel of undoing everything. As an experiment, I suggest that the next time you get undressed, you unbutton your trousers and then try to remove them without first lowering your fly -- the mystery will be instantly cleared up for you. This is just one useful application of some sage advice: "Just because there's an opening there doesn't mean you're meant to put your penis through it." :p

I don't know how you dress, but with any clothes I've ever worn it's much more of a nuisance to try to pee through the fly.

Zip down, reach in to the pans fly and then try to fish past your shirt tail and through the fly of your underwear, grab the little bastard and pull him out into the fresh air? Now you're meant to pee through something surrounded by layers of swaddling cloth? How then do you clear your vas so you can put it away it without dripping into your shorts (or worse, on your pants?) You do that hopping and shaking thing? Dab at your urethral orifice with a bit of toilet paper as a former girlfriend of mine assumed men must do? Just be content to have a few drops of pee in your pants?

I tried that just now to see if it's gotten any easier since I was a boy and I concluded that flies were not meant to be peed through. Nope, still as silly and awkward as I remember. The quick 1-2-3 of belt, button and fly is much faster and easier than trying to clear away layers of fabric and dragging my gear through the small space afforded. I got it out and then unbuckled properly so I could carry on with confidence, and still feel abraded from having my pecker come into rough contact with my zipper. Those things are called teeth for good reason - christ!

corkboard
08-16-2011, 05:59 PM
If you're tough enough, zipper teeth are harmless. That's why I masturbate with 60-grit sandpaper.

GameHat
08-16-2011, 09:14 PM
Really, it's relatively safe. The chances of the Mad Zipper Upper running by and zipping you up, thereby mashing your fun hose in zipper teeth, thus cutting it off and having it fall into the toilet, only to be flushed away into oblivion, are extremely rare. I'm almost 50 and have only lost 3 penises that way.

It wasn't during urinating, but once, just once, I zipped up a little too quick and caught Captain Happy with the teeth. Enough to draw blood. It wasn't There's Something About Mary bad, and I was able to disentangle, but damn it stung. I've never trusted a zipper since.

Bosstrain
08-16-2011, 09:20 PM
Yes!, I tied the poll! (there's just something not right about saying that in this thread :dubious:)

Ya'll are naaaasty, and 'Free Willy' has nothing to do with this BTW. :D

It's always best to let pythons be pythons (or is that bygons?), so I'm not gonna' judge someone for droppin' their drawers, but I've personally never seen this done at a urinal, not yet anyway. It's so much faster to simply unzip and let fly, and I've got plenty of clearance to keep dribbling from being a threat, know what I mean :cool:. The thing that stops my stream is when I look down and see that little sticker they sometimes put in there that says 'don't take drugs' or 'have safe sex'. I know what they're warning about, but how do you eplain to your kid when he strolls out and asks what it means? (not that I have any kids, just sayin')

Siam Sam
08-17-2011, 12:24 AM
If I were to let Monstro all the way out, I'd have to stand quite a ways back from the urinal.

Arrendajo
08-17-2011, 12:40 AM
No matter how many times you shake your peg
The last few drops run down your leg.

Larry Mudd
08-17-2011, 11:48 AM
Ya'll are naaaasty, and 'Free Willy' has nothing to do with this BTW. :D

It's always best to let pythons be pythons (or is that bygons?), so I'm not gonna' judge someone for droppin' their drawers, but I've personally never seen this done at a urinal, not yet anyway.I'm curious if you're misunderstanding what's meant by "free willy" in this context - I've never seen anyone "drop trou" at the urinal, either. Of course, you don't scrutinize what other people are doing in this situation, but until this thread I had no idea that it was this common for people to leave their belt buckled and button done up at the urinal - that seems very awkward to me.

I don't suppose it would look much different to someone waiting in a queue, unless they were transfixed by what you were doing -- your waistband remains at the same altitude throughout.

Bosstrain
08-17-2011, 02:58 PM
If I were to let Monstro all the way out, I'd have to stand quite a ways back from the urinal.
+1 :D

I'm curious if you're misunderstanding what's meant by "free willy" in this context.....

.....until this thread I had no idea that it was this common for people to leave their belt buckled and button done up at the urinal - that seems very awkward to me.

.....your waistband remains at the same altitude throughout.

First of all I knew exactly what 'free willie' was referring to, FYI, thus my slight difference in spelling. One has to do with a movie, the other has to do with a woman's taste in cigars.....oh yes I did :D.

Okay, let me explain, I don't know when the last time you were in a public bathroom, or maybe you've got a urinal at home, but it seems more awkward to me to stand shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of dudes and start undoing your pants.

I do not see how the waistband can remain at the same height, for me, if my belt and button aren't fastened, it takes two hands to hold them up at the same level without some significant altitude change or at least an obvious looseness. Unless you have a third hand to hold on to your third leg and aim it, then I don't see how this is entirely possible.

Also, I've noticed that there seems to be some differences in wealth, age and social status that are accounting for indescrepencies. I, for one, do not wear nor can afford pants that have to be 'fished through' in order to find Johnson. Also, I'm not a squimish 'girly man' who has an issue with a couple drops splattering inside or outside my pants, even running down my leg for that matter......it's just piss for crying out loud, shake it off and get back to work is what I say. :eek:

Just my opinions anyway.

tdn
08-17-2011, 03:42 PM
It wasn't during urinating, but once, just once, I zipped up a little too quick and caught Captain Happy with the teeth. Enough to draw blood. It wasn't There's Something About Mary bad, and I was able to disentangle, but damn it stung. I've never trusted a zipper since.

I did that once too, and it was a mistake I only made once.

tdn
08-17-2011, 03:46 PM
This is just one useful application of some sage advice: "Just because there's an opening there doesn't mean you're meant to put your penis through it." :p

Once again, Family Guy (http://www.220.ro/desene-animate/Family-Guy-Peter-And-The-Pencil-Sharpener/PhO0EBpMRb/) has a clip for every occasion.

Skammer
08-17-2011, 05:55 PM
In public, I'm normally wearing dress trousers which allow plenty of slack to unzip, fish my garden hose out, and do my business without any interference. Only on casual Friday, when I'm usually in jeans which are tighter, do I have to open 'er up.

Larry Mudd
08-17-2011, 06:20 PM
This thread is interesting because it's caused me to pay so much more attention to something that's usually done with zero self-consciousness.Okay, let me explain, I don't know when the last time you were in a public bathroom, or maybe you've got a urinal at home, but it seems more awkward to me to stand shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of dudes and start undoing your pants.This is particularly interesting. It seems to me that there is no more "exposure" in undoing the belt and button. The shirt-tails generally stay in place, and if anything the when unbuttoned the pants provide a bit more privacy. Not really preoccupied with this, though, as the assumption is that everyone at the urinals is obeying the eyes-front rule.I do not see how the waistband can remain at the same height, for me, if my belt and button aren't fastened, it takes two hands to hold them up at the same level without some significant altitude change or at least an obvious looseness. Unless you have a third hand to hold on to your third leg and aim it, then I don't see how this is entirely possible.Again, had to pay attention at the last visit because this is so effortless that it's not even a conscious action. After paying attention, the right hand remains casually on the belt (although experimentally I find that if I'm required to and nobody is looking I can do a hands-free hula for a while before my pants start to descend on their own,) with the thumb of the right hand being employed to lower the waistband of my drawers. Left hand is free for aiming and post-piss vas-clearing.Also, I've noticed that there seems to be some differences in wealth, age and social status that are accounting for indescrepencies. I, for one, do not wear nor can afford pants that have to be 'fished through' in order to find Johnson.This is utterly mystifying to me. I am unaware of any trouser design that does not include an overlap of a few inches at the fly. When you lower the zipper, you must push these flaps to either side, reach in, and pull through, no? This seems very awkward, and the sight of that turkey neck protruding from the fly is way too absurd for me to deal with.Also, I'm not a squimish 'girly man' who has an issue with a couple drops splattering inside or outside my pants, even running down my leg for that matter...Benefit of the doubt extended here, and assuming you're totally joking about this.Once again, Family Guy has a clip for every occasion.Heh. Peter.

Bosstrain
08-17-2011, 08:17 PM
This thread is interesting because it's caused me to pay so much more attention to something that's usually done with zero self-consciousness.

I agree, this thread has become interesting to me as well.


This is particularly interesting. It seems to me that there is no more "exposure" in undoing the belt and button. The shirt-tails generally stay in place, and if anything the when unbuttoned the pants provide a bit more privacy. Not really preoccupied with this, though, as the assumption is that everyone at the urinals is obeying the eyes-front rule.

I do not entirely understand how the pants provide more privacy when undone, slightly confused here, and it would seem to me that the rattling of the belt buckle would draw more attention. No, not everyone obeys the 'eyes front' rule, and that goes especially for bars and pubs (there's always that one really drunk guy, and sometimes he even puts his arm on your shoulder, huge infraction)

After paying attention, the right hand remains casually on the belt (although experimentally I find that if I'm required to and nobody is looking I can do a hands-free hula for a while before my pants start to descend on their own,) with the thumb of the right hand being employed to lower the waistband of my drawers. Left hand is free for aiming and post-piss vas-clearing.

Still slightly confused, I usually find it difficult to hold my pants up even with just the belt undone. Of course, I do wear loose fitting drawers (not grunge style 'I'm gonna' trip if I run' pants, loose pants, that need a belt to stay up), I like to be able to move, and I've found that wearing just a size or two larger allow for an excellent range of motion. Also, my body size is very abnormal, it's hard to even find something that fits a large 6' 3", well built, *oddly proportioned man who's not skinny, nor fat, weighs in at around 200 lbs. and thinks sledge hammers are precision instruments (though I don't know what sledges have to do with this).

(*oddly proportioned meaning I slightly long midsection from my waistline to the bottom of my crotch, so I need a little extra room for Big John and his two buddies)

This is utterly mystifying to me. I am unaware of any trouser design that does not include an overlap of a few inches at the fly. When you lower the zipper, you must push these flaps to either side, reach in, and pull through, no? This seems very awkward, and the sight of that turkey neck protruding from the fly is way too absurd for me to deal with.

This seems like a simple procedure to me, in fact, if everything is lined up right, sometimes you can just reach right in and not even fumble around at all. I've seen some pants that have elongated inner flaps, and I think even one that had a special button for said flap, even sometimes extra flaps for the flap (more info in this post (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=619107&highlight=pants+complicated)). I am also not ashamed of how my turkey looks, and nor does it resemble a turkey neck in any way (it's okay Mr. gobbles, he didn't mean it)

Benefit of the doubt extended here, and assuming you're totally joking about this.

No, 'fraid not, wasn't joking in the slightest, give it a couple shakes and put the snake back in, dribble and all.


Oh, and one other thing: yes, holes were designed for penises, you just gotta' check and make sure nothing's gonna' happen to it if you stick it through that hole ;).