Should I adopt boy cats or girl cats?

[kayT]

I’m going to be looking to adopt new cats soon. (My home is about to be catless, and I can’t live that way.) So far all the cats I have adopted have been male adults. I do want to adopt adults (I lack the patience for kitten training) but am thinking of a female or probably a pair of females this time.

For one thing my last guy had a habit of lifting his leg to pee, which is messy. Hopefully females would be neater? Also, I have the idea female cats have fewer health problems. However, I also have the idea girls are somewhat shyer. I have had big and fairly assertive boy cats and am not really the type for a shy tiny girl, I don’t think. So what do you all think? Boys or girls?

[rhubarbarin]

I would just go pick out a pair of cats that have already bonded, and worry more about the personalities of the individuals you're considering than their sex. A male/female pair is often the best bet for harmony between two cats (or two dogs) so keep that option in mind.

Female cats are much less prone to urinary problems of all sorts, and that's a plus in my book.

IME it's true that the most shy/standoffish cats are more likely to be female, but there are plenty of very friendly female cats and also some unfriendly male cats.

[congodwarf]

I don't think you can categorize all cats into boy or girl traits. Cats are fickle and from what I've seen, they refuse to be categorized.

I've had both and have had roommates with both and the personality quirks have been pretty randomly spread through the sexes. In the case of an adopted cat, their personality will be partially formed by their previous experiences (good or bad). I think the best bet is to go to the shelter and meet with the cats and get the ones you want based on actually meeting them.



rhubarbarin is right. If you're planning on getting more than one anyway, look for ones that are already bonded. With so many people wanting 1 cute and fluffy kitten, bonded adults probably aren't as easy to place.

Good luck and thanks for adopting!

[MyFootsZZZ]

Hmm.. I never owned a boy cat, but I've met many male cats and they do seem to be less shy with strangers. If you were getting them at a younger age I would recommend you go with a girl cat, just to see what it's like to own one... You can enjoy it's kitten playfulness before it matures.

I think a lot of it depends on the type of owner you are, and the individual cat. I've always went with females because they seem more independent, and less needy. When they do want attention you feel grateful, because female cats can be selective. I don't know if male cats are the same.

Good luck :)

edit: rhubarbarin's advice is good.

[Dahnlor]

I've gotten along with both male and female cats, and the males tended to bring home dead mice for us while the females tended to stay inside and hide, but overall I'd say their behavior has more to do with the individual than their gender.

The biggest and most consistent differences are that males are bigger and more likely to hurt you if you like playing rough with them, while females go into heat every 6 months and make annoying yowling noises all night long if you don't spay them.

[lavenderviolet]

I have a male/female pair, adopted as adults. I do agree that if you can find a pair of cats at the shelter that already know and like each other, it is ideal, but mine are ok with each other in spite of not being "bonded" and despite first meeting as adults. They aren't particularly affectionate with each other, but they co-exist without any major issues.

Female cats CAN be very friendly. My female cat LOVES people. She really doesn't care for other animals (tolerates them, but not interested in being "friends"), but she's always happy to get attention from a person. My male cat, granted, happens to be ridiculously friendly (he loves other animals as well as humans), but the female is just fine in her own right.
If you go to the shelter and just ask the staff if they have any friendly female cats I bet they can point you towards some.
Basically I'd just go to the shelter and just see how the individual cats interact with you. That's pretty much how I picked mine. I liked how friendly they seemed when I played with them at the humane society. When you adopt an adult cat, you can see pretty easily what kind of personality they will have. I also considered that these guys had been at the shelter for a long time already and were running out of time to find a home. :( Back then, it was the height of kitten season and nobody adopts adult cats during kitten season. Kudos on being willing to adopt an adult cat. If you're willing to consider black cats, also consider that black cats frequently have the hardest time getting adopted.

Good luck!

[Cat Whisperer]

We have two female cats, one which is as aggressive as you'd want (except she hides when strangers come around), and the other one who is not as aggressive (she'll come and get pettin's from strangers, though). Neither is tiny or shy - the idea made me laugh, when I think of how crazy they get when a strange cat comes around THEIR back yard.

I agree with the idea of getting a bonded pair, too - ours met as adults, and they still have only reached "armed truce" with each other.

[Rhiannon8404]

I have one of each at the moment and have never really seen much of a difference between them. The male was neutered young, so that might be different than if he'd been an adult when he was done. Both are fairly friendly to visitors, but not overly so.

My female is the hunter. Dead mice, birds, etc. Usually they stay outside, but the other day we found a dead pigeon in the dining room. My cats come and go through the dog's doors. The male pretends at hunting and actually caught a mouse once that I noticed...but he let it go and the female killed it.

[kayT]

My last two met as adults and they weren't ever best buddies but they did like to catch birds together and play catch with them. I've also had a black cat. I do understand that some shelters won't let you adopt black cats during October because people are so nuts, but I don't really have a color preference. Some folks say orange cats are exceptionally mellow; anyone have experience this way?

I would like to get a pair of either sex that have already bonded but it's not so easy to find adult pairs. I will of course go meet some cats. I have only ever had rescue cats and if someone was running out of time they would go to the head of my list. Thanks for the input, everyone.

[chappachula]

Gee whiz, every cat lover knows that you don't adopt a cat, either boy or girl.
The cat adopts you.

Go to a shelter, sit on the floor, and wait to see who comes to visit you. The ones who purr loudest go home with you.

[congodwarf]

Go to a shelter, sit on the floor, and wait to see who comes to visit you. The ones who purr loudest go home with you.


That's exactly how my mom and step-dad got their current cat. They sat on the floor and only one cat paid attention to them. All the others went to the food. Velky climbed on my mom's lap and started purring like crazy.

[Chronos]

The most gregarious cat I've ever lived with was female, and the shyest cat I've ever lived with was male. So mileage may obviously vary.

And the significant majority of cats that adopted my mom were female, though I'm not sure why (if there even was a specific reason). Most of them were adopted directly off the street, without even going through the APL (though of course we brought them in for fixing and shots).

[picunurse]

What kitten training? If the kitten is over 8-12 weeks, showing it where the litter box and food is, is about the extent of training. Even adult cats may have bad habits. keeping them from scratching is an on-going proposition.

As far as shy females go, try to find one that had a litter of kittens before she was spayed. In general, that makes for a more assertive personality. I have 2 girls. One is the mom of the other. The baby (now, 10 years old) is secret squirrel. Mama (11) is calm and friendly.

[Indygrrl]

In my experience, boy cats are loving and sweet and girl cats are skittish and unfriendly. I have no interest in ever owning a female cat. I also think boy cats adjust more easily to changes, or addition of other animals.

[Snickers]

And I've never owned male cats and will probably never own one - while it's generally taken care of by neutering, some male cats continue to spray, and that's something I will not tolerate. (I won't tolerate it in female cats either, but IIRC it's not as common.)

I've currently got two female cats, about 2 years old. One is kind of standoffish and cautious around new people (but doesn't hide; she just keeps her distance) while the other's a total lovebug. The cautious one is also cautious around other animals (and does hide when we've allowed one of our family members' dog in the house), the lovebug is pretty quick to make friends. Of my two, I'd say that the cautious one would probably do less well with changes, but the lovebug would probably be "meh" about the whole thing.

Cats is cats - I don't really think any generalizations can be made based on gender.

[Hilarity N. Suze]

My girl cats have been way, way more feisty than my boy cats. More standoffish. More needy. More prone to scratching the shit out of something like my brand-new carpet. But I loved 'em all anyway. (My girl dogs were more problematic than the boys, too. I just think girls are more trouble.)

[MyFootsZZZ]

Cats is cats - I don't really think any generalizations can be made based on gender.
I agree... my folks have a female Ragdoll, and she's not at all upset by strangers petting her... but she wouldn't go out of her way to meet new people. Their other female cat comes around when someone's at the door, and is quite happy with having company. Yet she's not as laid back as the Ragdoll.

[perfectparanoia]

I agree with the idea of getting a bonded pair, too - ours met as adults, and they still have only reached "armed truce" with each other.

This, for sure. My two girls still fight with each other nine years later.

[purplehorseshoe]

In my experience, boy cats are loving and sweet and girl cats are skittish and unfriendly. I have no interest in ever owning a female cat. I also think boy cats adjust more easily to changes, or addition of other animals.

My experience has been exactly the opposite. :D Besides, if anything, males tend to be a bit more territorial, esp. at the very beginning.

[Infovore]

I have seven cats--four girls and three boys. Of these:

One female is sweet with those she knows, shy with those she doesn't, and an aggressive "queen bee" with the other cats.
One female is extremely sweet with her family, even shyer than the first one with strangers, and mellow with other cats.
One female is sweet but skittish, doesn't like to be held but does like tummy rubs. She's fine with other cats.
One female is a super-gregarious lover--she walks up to strangers and tries to lick their heads if she can reach them. She's shy with other cats, and the "Queen Bee" cat has her completely buffaloed.
One male is very intelligent, stalks around the house like a little hunter, adores kittens, loves his family and used to be very shy with strangers but now he's gotten more friendly.
One male is a big schmooze whose entire purpose in life is to keep his belly full and his butt warm. He loves people and other cats, but hates kittens.
One male is huge, rangy, soft, and very friendly and cuddly. He loves other cats, loves his family, but is shy around people. He's the only cat I've ever met who is scared of my dad (a cat magnet).

So there you go--seven data points. I'd say get whatever cat you end up liking and who likes you--don't worry about gender. There's no foolproof way to tell, other than interacting with them.

[kayT]

Just an update to say I solved my own problem by adopting one boy and one girl. They're rescues, brother and sister, about 8 months old and have lived pretty much all their lives in one room. Now they are in a large 3 bedroom house and are kind of freaked out about it, but after almost a week they are getting braver every day. I think "she" is bonding to my DH and "he" to me, so far. They have lousy names so I will change them once the correct names come to me. And here is the requisite picture (http://www.flickr.com/photos/11280147@N02/6314741969/in/photostream). Naming suggestions are welcome.

[MyFootsZZZ]

Awe, they are cute!!

[janis_and_c0]

Awwww. Which one is which? A friend of mine adopted a brother sister pair. (Both were very sweet & friendly the boy more so than the girl and more mellow too. He named them Bubby and Sissy. :D

[ENugent]

Wow, those could be my cats (http://www.contracheck.com/cats/02AprJune/source/dscn1749.html) from eight years ago (updated (http://www.contracheck.com/gallery/v/2008_photos/2008May-June/2008May23to26/2008-05-23+16-23-20+_1571.JPG.html) pics (http://www.contracheck.com/gallery/v/2008_photos/2008May-June/2008May23to26/2008-05-26+13-07-34+_1662.JPG.html))! (They are Cobalt and Rhodium, but I suspect you'll prefer something else. I also like Pepper and Ginger, but then you'd have to deal with having a boy named Ginger.)

[Cat Whisperer]

Selena for the grey tabby, and Marmaduke for the big ginger boy (it's like Marmalade but not).

Such pretty kitties!

[MyFootsZZZ]

Brandy and Bourbon? Bailey and Bourbon?

[kayT]

Yes, the yellow/tan is the guy. (How did you guys know that?) Current names are Roscoe and Betsy (ugh). SIL suggested Pepper for the girl and stick with Roscoe (no) and MIL said Bob and Betsy (no). But that's two votes for Pepper. It makes me think of Police Woman (wasn't her name Pepper?)

And Wow indeed, ENugent, your two looked exactly like my kids! I hope mine grow up as big and healthy as yours apparently did. All my cats so far have been jumbo-sized and these two little guys can get into places I didn't know cats could get.

I kinda like Bubba and Sissy but we'll keep getting to know them and maybe they will tell us their names.

[Martian Bigfoot]

my cats (http://www.contracheck.com/cats/02AprJune/source/dscn1749.html)It's a cat yin-yang! :p

[janis_and_c0]

He picked Bubby and Sissy because he said no matter what he NAMED them, that's what he'd end up calling them.

[congodwarf]

It's a cat yin-yang! :p

There's just not enough Squee!!! in the world. Those two are just brimming over with personality.

[Tamerlane]

Yes, the yellow/tan is the guy. (How did you guys know that?)

The gene for orange coats in cats is sex-linked and so "solid" orange ( white doesn't count ) cats tend to be disproportionately, but not exclusively male. Similarly it is why virtually all calico/tortoiseshell cats are female. Also orange males tend towards the bulkier end of the spectrum ( relative to other males ), while orange females tend the other way towards the punier side ( relative to other females ). And your lad looks a tad on the bulky side ;).

Very handsome cats. Howabout Alexander and Cleopatra? The fancifully named Alexander Helios (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Helios) and Cleopatra Selene (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleopatra_Selene_II) were twins from the end of the Ptolemaic dynasty.

[VOW]

You'll have good bonding with littermates!

I've never worried with cats bonding. Whenever we've gotten a new cat, he or she would be thrown into the herd and the others would be told, "This is your new brother/sister. Get over it."

Territorial spats are looked upon as human entertainment.

A catless home is empty and cold. I must have babies around me. And I don't care how old they get, all cats are babies to me!


~VOW

[williambaskerville]

For some reason, we've always had girl cats. They've been plenty fiesty, and not shy at all. Our current one is a beautiful, jet black artifact:- she's been known to wake me up by licking me. So not very shy at all.

(In truth, I'm working to organise my wife so she forgets long enough about getting her "snip" organised that we have a litter of her kittens. I'll organise homes for them all, but Shelly is too beautiful not to have offspring. As is my wife, whom I've just realised is reading this over my shoulder. Bye).

[tavalla]

Our guys are litter mates, and they still squabble at times. Never all that seriously, but there's very definitely a 'pesky younger brother, annoyed older brother' vibe at times between the two of them.

Though, since we got them from a shelter we have no way of knowing what the actual birth order was.

[Purple Scottie]

When I adopted my two cats, I wanted two girls so the person I was adopting from brought the three girls from the litter for me to pick from. I went with the two that seemed more bonded to each other.

They were about 10 weeks old when I adopted them. I kept all the regular vet visits to get their shots, etc. When they were about six months old, I boarded them over the holidays, and it was during that visit, that apparently the boy bits were discovered.

They ended up staying at the vet to get fixed and no problems with their marking things in the home. They still have "girl" names but at least their collars are now blue.

The only difference I think is that they are maybe bigger full grown (not fat) than if they were girls. The more independent one may have had some issues if he hadn't been fixed but really no significant behavior problems and I don't think they are any messier than if they had been girls.

(Oh and the bonding... they still snuggle up together for their naps like they did as kittens).

[chiroptera]

What a cute pair! I'm glad you got two bonded ones, love the muted colors.

I've never owned a female cat that was particularly cuddly, or tended to be anything other than snooty and hissy with other cats. I have a bonded pair of boys now. And my neighbor and I feed (and trap and speuter when we can) local strays.

There's an odd couple that we feed. I think the big one (GM, for Gray Male) and Bob (because he has no tail, vet said it was lost in some sort of accident when he was a kitten) are, I think, father and son. GM is a really BIG solid grey tom cat, who has so far resisted all efforts to trap him - he is quite feral. Bob is very undersized. We think he was born early this spring. I was able to trap him and get him snipped. They are always together; they show up to eat at my house early in the morning, or at the barn down the road in the evenings.