What do guys say to girls when they walk up to them on a night out?

[Laudenum]

I rarely go to clubs (though I am beginning to go to them quite frequently) and most girls I know I've known through college/politics/friends etc.

I was in a club last week and I was wondering what guys say when they randomly start talking to a girl out of nowhere?
I imagine it's starts with Hi :rolleyes: but I was trying to figure out what came next.

[Candyman74]

Just a relevant conversation; don't try thinking of lines or anything.

Some people find it very easy to start conversations with others and some don't, but it's more a manner than a specific thing they say every time.

My grandmother told me back when I was a teenager that to practice meeting girls, all I had to do was practice talking to people in general. If you can have a friendly chat with an old lady at a bus stop, you can have a friendly chat with a pretty girl in a club.

Anything beyond that is just a combination of luck, chemistry, circumstance, and a dozen other things that you can't control. Just be friendly and you shouldn't go far wrong.

[Wallenstein]

In a noisy club, especially in the winter, trying approaching a girl and saying "tickle yer ass with a feather?".

If she looks shocked just repeat it as "typical nasty weather!", as she'll assume she misheard and you can then start discussing the recent snowfalls.

If she winks and says "sure" then you probably have a great night ahead of you :)

[Gagundathar]

In a noisy club, especially in the winter, trying approaching a girl and saying "tickle yer ass with a feather?".

If she looks shocked just repeat it as "typical nasty weather!", as she'll assume she misheard and you can then start discussing the recent snowfalls.

If she winks and says "sure" then you probably have a great night ahead of you :)

Ah yes. THIS always works!
Must try this next time I have an opportunity.
Should I be prepared to be slapped?
I suppose it wouldn't work when conversing with a girl in ... say ... a library, right?

[Gus Gusterson]

Back when I was chatting up girls in bars/clubs, I would just say "I love this song" or "This place is jumping tonight" or something similarly positive that doesn't require a real response. If I got a monosyllabic response I would smile and move on. If she said more or asked a question I took that as a sign that she was interested in talking to me.

[Vinyl Turnip]

I was in a club last week and I was wondering what guys say when they randomly start talking to a girl out of nowhere?

"Will you help me get my keys out of the toilet?" (as you take one of her hands in your own wet hand)

[Bob Ducca]

I was trying to figure out what came next.

If I remember correctly, first comes love, then comes marriage, and THEN comes baby in a baby carriage.

[Living Well Is Best Revenge]

I've heard "what's your sign" works great.

[Filbert]

Round here, the standard greeting in that situation is drunken slurring. Something along the lines of 'Gnuaaarghha', with maybe the occasional 'nyatits'.

Hope that helps.

[Dogzilla]

This is a serious OP, right?

1. Start with Hello.
2. Tell the other person your name.
3. Ask what her name is.

Suggested innocuous questions:
Where are you from?
Do you work? What do you do for a living?
Are you a student? Where do you go to school? What are you majoring in?

You're looking for common interests. So, pick two or three topics that you're interested in and ask if she's interested in those same things. When you find something you both like, talk about that.

Good neutral topics:
Music
Sports
Travel
Weather
Food
Pets/Animals
Games - "Gaming" includes a lot, but chicks are gamers too, so if you're a computer geek, don't assume all women aren't. Some chicks dig nerds. If you are one, you'll have to do a little work, but we're out there. You'll find one.

Avoid politics or religion unless you really know what you're talking about and you are not out to be "right"; that is, you can talk about something that's controversial without getting all jacked up about it. If you can hear points of view that do not agree with your own and converse about those ideas respectfully, then maybe if things are going really well, you could dip a toe into the waters of political or religious discussion. I'd avoid it for a first meeting or first date.

Remember two things:
1. People love to talk about themselves. Go for open-ended questions. Avoid questions that logically only require a yes or no answer.
2. If you can't think of anything to say to their answer (or you get a yes-or-no), ask "Why?" or "Why do you think that?"

[lindsaybluth]

If I remember correctly, first comes love, then comes marriage, and THEN comes baby in a baby carriage.

Christ, with my generation (20-30) it's "first comes hooking up at a party, then comes mindless texting, then comes sex, then comes breaking up 1-3 times, then comes living together, baby and maybe marriage". Ick.

[tdn]

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

[Crawlspace]

Christ, with my generation (20-30) it's "first comes hooking up at a party, then comes mindless texting, then comes sex, then comes breaking up 1-3 times, then comes living together, baby and maybe marriage". Ick.Kids these days have no appreciation for rhyme scheme.

[lindsaybluth]

In the gifted classes we were told we could tesselate our way to happiness and rhyming ;)

[filmore]

I'm not the OP, but if I could make a request? Can this be limited to serious responses? I have a feeling this thread is going to degerate into lots of posts of "witty" one-liners instead of what someone would really say.

[Philster]

Only if I had established significant eye contact would I approach a girl/women. When I did, I would say something honest, such as "I couldn't leave here tonight without trying to meet you and talk to you", and I would leave in some sort of honest disclaimer such as, "And it's okay if you have no interest, but I'd be kicking myself if I didn't try"

Coy, honest smiles mixed in with vulnerability, but laden with confidence (to even come over and be honest).

I think the all-time best play was to wait til the night was ending, or until she appeared to be leaving. If significant eye contact was made, she'd would leave anticipating some sort of regret that I didn't come over, which I'd quickly relieve by getting to her as she was leaving or actually outside. Sort of forced some spontaneity on both parties, too -- because, bam!, time to act!

First, it made the meeting short and closed-ended, but offered some sort of relief and satisfaction. The girl wasn't faced with hours ahead in this club/whatever with me. Even if she was very interested, waiting until about the end or her exit removed 99% of whatever awkwardness might lie ahead.

I left no regrets in my single days.

[Meatros]

"Will you help me get my keys out of the toilet?" (as you take one of her hands in your own wet hand)

Curse you for making me laugh like an idiot at work....

[Covered_In_Bees!]

There's always the tried and true: "Wanna fuck?"

EDIT: I accept no responsibility for any damages, emotional or physical that may or may not be incurred to the user of aforementioned line. The user of line accepts all responsibility of potential pain.

[Philster]

There's always the tried and true: "Wanna fuck?"



In today's U.S. college-club culture, that might be the most effective technique out there.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

In today's U.S. college-club culture, that might be the most effective technique out there.

Well, I am a male in my 20s, I may or may not have experience in this regard.

[mnemosyne]

Only if I had established significant eye contact would I approach a girl/women. When I did, I would say something honest, such as "I couldn't leave here tonight without trying to meet you and talk to you", and I would leave in some sort of honest disclaimer such as, "And it's okay if you have no interest, but I'd be kicking myself if I didn't try"

Coy, honest smiles mixed in with vulnerability, but laden with confidence (to even come over and be honest).

I think the all-time best play was to wait til the night was ending, or until she appeared to be leaving. If significant eye contact was made, she'd would leave anticipating some sort of regret that I didn't come over, which I'd quickly relieve by getting to her as she was leaving or actually outside. Sort of forced some spontaneity on both parties, too -- because, bam!, time to act!

First, it made the meeting short and closed-ended, but offered some sort of relief and satisfaction. The girl wasn't faced with hours ahead in this club/whatever with me. Even if she was very interested, waiting until about the end or her exit removed 99% of whatever awkwardness might lie ahead.

I left no regrets in my single days.

While I kind of get the overall tactic (and it just might work!), the idea making a move after lots of eye contact once she's already outside strikes me as incredibly creepy. This would also depend on the nature of the neighbourhood/outdoor space, since not all bars and clubs are on really busy roads - some women might find this to be rather threatening.

I think the line between "cute, finally making a move and respectful of minimizing awkwardness" and "dude took all night to finally come over, followed me outside and is now saying he wants to get to know me...stalkerish" is a fine line indeed. I think someone who can't figure out how to get past "Hi" in a conversation should NOT be trying this technique. It's not for amateurs! :cool:

[Bob Ducca]

There's always the tried and true: "Wanna fuck?"


Nine times out of ten, you get slapped in the face. But that tenth time? Magic.

[Lukeinva]

I rarely go to clubs (though I am beginning to go to them quite frequently) and most girls I know I've known through college/politics/friends etc.

I was in a club last week and I was wondering what guys say when they randomly start talking to a girl out of nowhere?
I imagine it's starts with Hi :rolleyes: but I was trying to figure out what came next.

If she is the one...

Start with "Hi, how are you?!" Then extend your hand and introduce yourself. Her natural response will be to introduce herself. Whatever her name is say, "oh what a nice name!" And then let the conversation flow... ask her about herself .. make small jokes (but keep them clean) and ask her questions that are not Yes or No answers. Engage her answers... soon she will be asking you questions. Above all be yourself and don't be a creeper.

[Eve]

It's been a long time since I went out nightclubbing--I seem to remember a young man asking me, "Have they caught President Lincoln's assassin yet?"

[Bearflag70]

This is a serious OP, right?

1. Start with Hello.
2. Tell the other person your name.
3. Ask what her name is.

Suggested innocuous questions:
Where are you from?
Do you work? What do you do for a living?
Are you a student? Where do you go to school? What are you majoring in?



Remember to await her answer to each question before asking the next question.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

Nine times out of ten, you get slapped in the face. But that tenth time? Magic.

This reminds me, that pepper spray and mace aren't so intimidating once you get use to them. ;)

[Capitaine Zombie]

What do guys say to girls when they walk up to them on a night out?

"How much ?" (accompanied by the sound of a brand new twenty dollars bill)

[Euphonious Polemic]

There's always the tried and true: "Wanna fuck?"


She: WHAT?!

You: Looks like snow.

(finishing the joke in post #3)

[Chessic Sense]

Two words, one strategy: No Fear.

I always start with some innocuous line about the shared environment. "The bartender's making them strong tonight." "Who sings this song?" "I wish it weren't raining." "It's packed in here tonight. More than usual."

Then ask her an open question about something you're thinking about. That way, she has to give you a response, but you'll have an easy time following it up since the topic's already in your head. Last night, you could've said "So what's your zombie apocalypse plan?" If the response is a dead-end, you can easily switch gears with something like "Do you really think people would start looting and shooting so quickly? Or would they try to band together in big groups?" The important thing to remember is that it doesn't necessarily have to be related to anything contemporary.

After that comes the jokes. While some women like geeks and some like athletes, the one thing they all (and men, too) have in common is they like people that can make them laugh.

Finally, you seal the deal with what I accidentally discovered is the best line in the history of lines- "Y'know, my house is right across the street from here." Bam! She feels safe. She can walk there. She can get back to her car in the morning. Her friends know where she's going. If you live across the street from the bar, the panties are coming off, my friend.

[tdn]

"So what's your zombie apocalypse plan?"

I am so using that. Where do I send the royalty check?

[Kuboydal]

"You have to start with hello."-James May

[Vinyl Turnip]

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

"I have an exam table with stirrups in my van," cooed Antonio into the flushing shell of her ear.

[Dogzilla]

Remember to await her answer to each question before asking the next question.

Good tip! Because her answer might help you think of another question. She might even ask you questions. And you'll have to answer them. Next thing you'll know, you'll be chatting up a girl!

[tdn]

"I have an exam table with stirrups in my van," cooed Antonio into the flushing shell of her ear.

Ooh, is it white and windowless?

[gurujulp]

Ooh, is it white and windowless?

The ear?

Oh! The van! :smack:

[Rigamarole]

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

Actually it's more what you look like than anything.

[Ruken]

There's always the tried and true: "Wanna fuck?"You might have better luck with a common variant: "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

[Unintentionally Blank]

In today's U.S. college-club culture, that might be the most effective technique out there.

Dammit. Too young for the 60's, too old for the 2010's.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

You might have better luck with a common variant: "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

Are shoes still that large of a fashion statement these days? Perhaps we should modify it to, "Nice purse dog, wanna fuck?"

[Troppus]

...which I'd quickly relieve by getting to her as she was leaving or actually outside. Sort of forced some spontaneity on both parties, too -- because, bam!, time to act!

First, it made the meeting short and closed-ended, but offered some sort of relief and satisfaction. The girl wasn't faced with hours ahead in this club/whatever with me. Even if she was very interested, waiting until about the end or her exit removed 99% of whatever awkwardness might lie ahead.

I left no regrets in my single days.

No no no please please do not follow a girl you don't know outside. At a club, at the mall, at the grocery. That is absolutely terrifying.

(This is different if you are both already outside for a legit reason, but the idea of someone following to your car or to a dark parking lot really sets our alarms off.)

[Dag Otto]

Wait a minute. You guys can actually hear in a nightclub?

95% of my conversations consisted of "what?" until I gave up on trying to talk to someone.







Oh damn. I finally figured it out.

[Typo Negative]

This reminds me, that pepper spray and mace aren't so intimidating once you get use to them. ;)

Barney
Is that the new mace? Wow! It's really painful!

[Obeseus]

I've never had to say anything. I make it a point to position myself where I can be seen by the most people. Then between sips of my drink, I casually lick my eyebrows.

[Rick]

You might have better luck with a common variant: "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"No, no. no. find something in common first. Try this:
Do you like chocolate cake?.
Yes
So do I, let's fuck.

[Philster]

While I kind of get the overall tactic (and it just might work!), the idea making a move after lots of eye contact once she's already outside strikes me as incredibly creepy. This would also depend on the nature of the neighbourhood/outdoor space, since not all bars and clubs are on really busy roads - some women might find this to be rather threatening.

I think the line between "cute, finally making a move and respectful of minimizing awkwardness" and "dude took all night to finally come over, followed me outside and is now saying he wants to get to know me...stalkerish" is a fine line indeed. I think someone who can't figure out how to get past "Hi" in a conversation should NOT be trying this technique. It's not for amateurs! :cool:

It's an intentional tactic and quite innocent. This isn't a stalker move that ever put anyone off.

[mnemosyne]

It's an intentional tactic and quite innocent. This isn't a stalker move that ever put anyone off.

I don't really doubt you - I just think it's terrible advice for someone who is already struggling with striking up a conversation with someone in a bar. A naturally charismatic/charming/friendly/talkative person could do this rather easily. A shy/awkward/zero-confidence/struggles with small talk person is likely to stare too much, drag it on too long, follow at the wrong time, corner her in an awkward spot, flub the opening line ("I can't let you leave until I talk to you" can come across as threatening...can't let me leave?!?!) or otherwise make a woman feel really, really unsafe.

I get the impression you aren't an amateur. Someone asking the questions in the OP is. It may work for you, but I think for the OP following up "Hi" with "I'm [name], how are you?" is better advice!

[Princhester]

Just a relevant conversation; don't try thinking of lines or anything.

Some people find it very easy to start conversations with others and some don't, but it's more a manner than a specific thing they say every time.

I don't think this is useful advice. I'm not much good at small talk but as I've become more conscious of it and about it and have watched others do it I have noticed that it isn't some sort of magical inexplicable manner and it is specific techniques. Those who are good at it may well not even know they are using specific techniques, but they are. I have colleagues that I have known for a long time and who are known as personable and good in a social situation and having watched them over a period, they actually have a certain limited repertoire of things they say and do.

If starting and continuing a conversation is not something that comes easily to you, doing it in a club when it's noisy and you are nervous and self conscious is near impossible. If you learn some specific open ended conversation starter lines that you know well and which you will even be able to remember under pressure, you will be streets ahead.

[raskolnik]

Yeah...most clubs are too loud to hear, anyway.

[voguevixen]

Two words, one strategy: No Fear.

I always start with some innocuous line about the shared environment. "The bartender's making them strong tonight." "Who sings this song?" "I wish it weren't raining." "It's packed in here tonight. More than usual."

This. Additional (female here): "what are you drinking." (I drink an oddly colored drink.) Once I had "WHY are you drinking?" which was unusual and caught me off guard and was interesting to discuss. Commenting on the current feed of whatever is currently on the bar's/club's tv: "Wow, did you see that catch/kick/move/poker bid/dance move/remember when this came out? etc." Then you weasel your way into what band/tv shows/movies you like and whatnot.

I have to say my favorite post in this thread is the one about tessellation - You KNOW I went to You Tube to look for the MathNet song and it wasn't there. IT WASN'T THERE! :mad: ::gives internet the finger::

[Smeghead]

I have to say my favorite post in this thread is the one about tessellation - You KNOW I went to You Tube to look for the MathNet song and it wasn't there. IT WASN'T THERE! :mad: ::gives internet the finger::

You mean this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFwSpw7Bv3s) one? I think your problem was that it was part of Square One TV, not Mathnet. Mathnet was another segment of Square One.

Uh...as to the OP, I wouldn't recommend the above as a starting line.

[drewtwo99]

I recommend immediately engaging in a philosophical debate about whether or not we have free will. Try the following: "If we act on our beliefs, but we are not in direct control of what we do and do not believe, are we really in control of our own actions?" It won't work every time, but if you find someone who actually finds philosophy interesting and responds to your question positively, you're gonna have a great time!

[Tom Tildrum]

Remember too that sometimes the connection just isn't there. One time, I led off by asking this girl if she had read any good books lately, and she just called me a trollop.

[Troppus]

Remember too that sometimes the connection just isn't there. One time, I led off by asking this girl if she had read any good books lately, and she just called me a trollop.

I'm guessing her answer wasn't "Dictionary"?

[StusBlues]

I suppose it wouldn't work when conversing with a girl in ... say ... a library, right?

Go for it, mate. Library girls are perverted.

[Elendil's Heir]

In Me, Myself & Irene, the Jim Carey character's come-on lines consisted of, in their entirety:

1. "So, where are you from?"
2. "Do you swallow?"

Nine times out of ten, you get slapped in the face. But that tenth time? Magic.

Michael Bloomberg said something that like. Before he was NYC Mayor he used to proposition women pretty aggressively. "Don't you get slapped a lot?" someone asked.

"Yeah," he said. "But I get laid a lot, too."

[Vinyl Turnip]

One time, I led off by asking this girl if she had read any good books lately, and she just called me a trollop.

I've used that line a lot too. I'm surprised how many women read Dumas, and yet can't even pronounce his name right.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

Are you sure they're not just describing themselves to you?

[polar bear]

I've never had to say anything. I make it a point to position myself where I can be seen by the most people. Then between sips of my drink, I casually lick my eyebrows.

This is what I usually do in the clubs i go to! usually followed by:

"How much ?" (accompanied by the sound of a brand new twenty dollars bill)

:D

How exactly does a 20 dollar boll sound compared to a fifty? Might save me some money here.:cool:

[voguevixen]

You mean this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFwSpw7Bv3s) one? I think your problem was that it was part of Square One TV, not Mathnet. Mathnet was another segment of Square One.



LOL - Thanks! It's just as great as I remember.

[flatlined]

A pick up line that I still laugh over...once someone asked me if I wanted to go in halves on a baby. It didn't work, but, geeze, its been almost 10 years and I'm sitting here giggling over it again.

The "wanna fuck" line does work. Once some girlfriends and I were at a club on a Marine base, all dressed up and wanting to meet a hawt guy. We were only half way through our first drinks when this guy staggered up to us, leered and asked "do any of you lovely ladies want to have a sleezy one night stand with a drunk Marine?" Two of us grabbed our drinks, getting ready to fling them, but the other girl grabbed her purse, stood up and said "I'd love to" and off they went.

[Yookeroo]

I think the all-time best play was to wait til the night was ending, or until she appeared to be leaving.

I think the line between "cute, finally making a move and respectful of minimizing awkwardness" and "dude took all night to finally come over, followed me outside and is now saying he wants to get to know me...stalkerish" is a fine line indeed. I think someone who can't figure out how to get past "Hi" in a conversation should NOT be trying this technique. It's not for amateurs! :cool:

Forget about stalkerish, she's probably left with someone else by this point.

[Farmer Jane]

I reject guys who hit on me in bars. If it's a friend of a friend, I can see a spark. Maybe. But a random stranger coming up to me and saying, "Hi"? Uh...99 per cent of the time, the answer is, "Mmm."

I guess I'm that bitch, but come on. At the moment, the only thing he knows about me is what I look like.

(Different if it's a quiet bar or happy hour or a place where you would normally make small talk.)

[JessMagic]

"Should I start crying now, or wait until after we've boned?"

[sandra_nz]

'Hi'
'Are you having a good night?'
'Who are you here with tonight?'
'Want to dance?'
'Do you like the music they play here?'
'Can I buy you a drink?'

[Jaledin]

'Hi'
'Are you having a good night?'
'Who are you here with tonight?'
'Want to dance?'
'Do you like the music they play here?'
'Can I buy you a drink?'

QFT. Much as it pains me to agree with Citoyenne (nothing personal -- I thought the resonse was a bit harsh, maybe, although probably honest and certainly would be my reponse) I can't see chatting it up in some loud club with a random chick. All of the above quoted are fine. I'm not really into nabbing some rndom chick, but I do like females to talk with -- talk about something interesting about themselves like a tatoo or a cool T-shirt or why she's barefoot at 30 degrees F or see if she wants to... There's no formula. Just start a conversation -- that's pretty much it IME.

[Enderw24]

'Hi'
'Are you having a good night?'
'Who are you here with tonight?'
'Want to dance?'
'Do you like the music they play here?'
'Can I buy you a drink?'

Stop asking questions, you spazoid!

[Philster]

Forget about stalkerish, she's probably left with someone else by this point.

That's a risk. Although, anyone even remotely intelligent would know they shouldn't approach someone who has been eyeing someone else.

[StusBlues]

I reject guys who hit on me in bars. If it's a friend of a friend, I can see a spark. Maybe. But a random stranger coming up to me and saying, "Hi"? Uh...99 per cent of the time, the answer is, "Mmm."

I guess I'm that bitch, but come on. At the moment, the only thing he knows about me is what I look like.

(Different if it's a quiet bar or happy hour or a place where you would normally make small talk.)

I can totally see that. I don't aim to meet prospective romantic entanglements in bars, and I question the approach in general. I realize I'm in the minority, but that's me.

[Diamonds02]

Guys do a lot of neg-hits these days....

"Hi, you know...you're actually cuter up close"
"You're hot...for a redhead"
"Oh, you went to X-state school! Couldn't get into private X-school?"

[MichaelEmouse]

I reject guys who hit on me in bars. If it's a friend of a friend, I can see a spark. Maybe. But a random stranger coming up to me and saying, "Hi"? Uh...99 per cent of the time, the answer is, "Mmm."

I guess I'm that bitch, but come on. At the moment, the only thing he knows about me is what I look like.

(Different if it's a quiet bar or happy hour or a place where you would normally make small talk.)

I am not sure what the fact that he only knows what you look like implies. Could you tell me what you infer from that?


Also, the very same thing is true (he only knows what you look like) in that 1% of cases where your answer is different, a quiet bar, happy hour or a place where you normally make small talk. In all those cases, he only knows what you look like at the moment.

[Jaledin]

I can totally see that. I don't aim to meet prospective romantic entanglements in bars, and I question the approach in general. I realize I'm in the minority, but that's me.

Why not? Plenty of regular people hit a happy hour at a chill place after work -- I meet lots of nice people, male and female, in bars. I'm not looking to pick up some chick, but good conversation is always a pleasant pastime. Beats watching TV or burning yourself out by working feverishly on a pet project.

Don't get (infra) the whole "neg" thing -- that's one of those pick-up things, right? I neg acquaintances and friends all the time, but mostly just for laughs and because nobody's feelings are hurt. Most women I know, though, really take comments like that to heart, even women with whom I'm friends, so I try to avoid it unless I really am friends friends with a person -- at the very least expect some "negs" back with a vengeance!

[Jaledin]

Also, the very same thing is true (he only knows what you look like) in that 1% of cases where your answer is different, a quiet bar, happy hour or a place where you normally make small talk. In all those cases, he only knows what you look like at the moment.

That's an excellent point, but in those exceptional cases, one is usually talking to pretty much everyone. I still don't "get" the hostility of CP, but it's easy to see why someone wouldn't want to be prey for some carrion-eating vulture skulking around some place, just because they happen to have a nice T&A combination.

[Carmady]

At the moment, the only thing he knows about me is what I look like.



So he should write you off before he knows anything about you?

[StusBlues]

Why not? Plenty of regular people hit a happy hour at a chill place after work -- I meet lots of nice people, male and female, in bars. I'm not looking to pick up some chick, but good conversation is always a pleasant pastime. Beats watching TV or burning yourself out by working feverishly on a pet project.



Eh, pet projects can be a lot of fun....

More to the point, I'm really awkward socially, so I mean most women in the context of shared activities--community organizations, activities with mutual friends, conferences (oh, yeah) and what not. As CitizenPained said above, all you know when you meet someone in a bar is what they look like...and that they like to hang out in bars. If you meet someone at a reading group or during a charitable drive, you know a lot more--and it's a better sort of knowledge.

YMMV.

[MichaelEmouse]

all you know when you meet someone in a bar is what they look like...and that they like to hang out in bars.


Where you're also hanging.
Whatever can be inferred about them from that fact can also be inferred about you.



Not that I like to go to such places. The last time I went to a nightclub, a woman I was with told me I looked/behaved like I was 40 years old (I'm 28). Going there was mainly an anthropological survey for me.

In any case, once you've done the basic greet to the other person in a loud bar, how are you supposed to proceed? It just seems to loud too have any sort of significant conversation.

[StusBlues]

Where you're also hanging.
Whatever can be inferred about them from that fact can also be inferred about you.



True. Which is why I don't hang out in bars--unless there's a good band.

[EvilTOJ]

Augh ghagg see this is why I will be forever doomed to meet women online and will never pick up women in person. Just reading the advice is giving me fight-or-flight stressors. I just can't get over being tongue-tied and not knowing what to say.