Are Men Hard-wired, or conditioned to not Fart Around Women? [Archive]

Jake

11-12-2011, 03:28 PM

panache45

11-12-2011, 03:58 PM

The only farting that seems to be socially acceptable is male/male, and even that occurs in limited contexts. I think way too much in our lives is attributable to hard-wiring.

barbitu8

11-12-2011, 04:14 PM

I might feel the urge to fart when around females, but social niceties mandate that I inhibit that urge, if at all possible.

I've run with women who occasionally let one go. I ignore it, but then I feel less inhibited if I feel the urge. It's not always possible to prevent one, at least at my age (74) with all the fiber I eat, along with the running.

Attack from the 3rd dimension

11-12-2011, 04:24 PM

I have an 11 year old boy. It isn't hard-wired, unless some angelic technician is going to show up with an upgrade in a couple of years.

John Mace

11-12-2011, 04:26 PM

Social convention should always be the first assumption for such behaviors, and not instinct when it comes to humans.

Kimstu

11-12-2011, 04:49 PM

I think the chief factor here is probably that all of us are to some extent socially conditioned not to fart in the company of any other people, male or female.

What the guys in the bar were probably referring to, IMHO, is simply the fact that single guys spend more time alone in their living quarters than married guys do. Men (or women, for that matter) when they're by themselves have no obstacle to letting one rip whenever they feel like it.

Broomstick

11-12-2011, 09:14 PM

Judging by my spouse's behavior, it's conditioning, not hard-wiring. After 20+ years of marriage any inhibition he felt while single has evaporated. At least when he's around me.

S'alright, though - I just fart back.

Senegoid

11-12-2011, 09:54 PM

picunurse

11-12-2011, 10:00 PM

No, it is not hard-wired, passing gas is a normal bodily function. It can be suppressed, but eventually it will win.
Since our society finds any natural body functions, at best, distasteful, and at worst obscene we learn early to hold it in, all of us, not just men.

As we age, it gets harder to hold back, but fortunately, as we age we find many social mores a little silly.
Old men fart. If you find yourself farting infront of your wife, it just means you've become an OF*

*Old Fart! :D

OpalCat

11-12-2011, 10:32 PM

No, if my husband is any indication.

GreedySmurf

11-12-2011, 10:34 PM

Definitely social conditioning.

Around colleagues and work friends of any sex, no farting. A select group of old and well known friends - anything goes.

Around my wife - let it rip. In fairness she started it. Our first weekend away a month or so into our relationship, in a beautiful little rainforest chalet. She just looked at me and said "I'm so Sorry" Yowsers! I had to step outside for a few minutes.

The Second Stone

11-12-2011, 10:38 PM

After age 50, always excuse yourself and leave the room, go to the bathroom and never, ever assume it is just a fart.

Jenaroph

11-12-2011, 11:40 PM

Are Men Hard-wired, or conditioned to not Fart Around Women?

In my experience, neither. They just let'er rip...

Cat Whisperer

11-12-2011, 11:45 PM

I've noticed on these boards that US American men and women seem much more inhibited about farting around other people. I was amazed when I read about people never, ever farting in front of their spouse - seriously? You get up and go into another room every single time? We'd never get any tv watched if we did that. :)

I'd say conditioned, not hard-wired at all. In fact, I'd say humans are hard-wired to find farts funny, but society tries to condition it out of us (with various degrees of success).

Jman

11-13-2011, 04:41 AM

I fart all the time around my wife, as does she. Maybe when we very first knew each Oberlin, I'd keep them in, but that didn't last too long. In public, I will, of course, be discretion and hold them if I can.

Jake

11-13-2011, 12:57 PM

After age 50, always excuse yourself and leave the room, go to the bathroom and never, ever assume it is just a fart.

That's' the truth.
Thanks for the replies, all. :)

picunurse

11-13-2011, 03:01 PM

That's' the truth.
Thanks for the replies, all. :)

According to my husband, that would be 45. :D

OpalCat

11-13-2011, 03:35 PM

After age 50, always excuse yourself and leave the room, go to the bathroom and never, ever assume it is just a fart.

Hell this has been my rule for a long time and I'm only 39.

Even if I know it's just a fart, I'll wait until I'm outside or in a different room. I have an almost phobic fear of passing gas around other people. I won't fart around my husband or my son, even.

JBDivmstr

11-14-2011, 04:34 PM

Hell this has been my rule for a long time and I'm only 39.

Even if I know it's just a fart, I'll wait until I'm outside or in a different room. I have an almost phobic fear of passing gas around other people. I won't fart around my husband or my son, even.

You're not alone. I once dated a woman for three+ years, and I can't recall EVER hearing her fart.

OpalCat

11-14-2011, 04:41 PM

To my knowledge my ex-husband, to whom I was married for almost 15 years, never heard me fart.

JBDivmstr

11-14-2011, 04:50 PM

I overheard a bunch of guys in a bar saying that the only difference between being married or single is that being single you can fart anytime you want to. I myself, find that when I'm among women I have no desire to pass the forbidden gas. Until I get to the bathroom. Then KABLOOEI!
Guys?

Around male friends, I usually try to do it silently, so that I can blame it on one of them. Around people I don't know or haven't known for long, I try to refrain. Women, not until after we've been 'intimate', and even then try to refrain. :p

barbitu8

11-14-2011, 04:55 PM

There was this lady who went to her doctor complaining that she farted quite a bit. She said they were silent farts and did not make any noise, but, nonetheless, were disconcerting. He prescribed a medicine and to come back next week.

The following week she reported to her doctor that the medicine was not working, and, in addition, they now smelled. He replied, "Good. Now here's a name for an audiologist you can see."

JBDivmstr

11-14-2011, 05:02 PM

Omar Little

11-14-2011, 05:06 PM

My wife and I fart in front of each other...the only condition is that courtesy requires that it be pre warned. Her's don't make much noise, but they are deadly.

pulykamell

11-14-2011, 06:14 PM

I can't imagine the idea of being in a long-term relationship with someone and not being able to fart around them (eventually.) For me, that's one of the milestones of a romantic relationship (and I'm not being facetious here): when you get to the point of comfort that you're able to do this without being self-conscious. I mean, if we can't handle each other farting, how are we gonna handle the shit-cleaning years (if we make it that far?)

Icarus

11-14-2011, 07:12 PM

This fascinates me - in that a man and women in a relationship will exchange bodily parts and fluids in any number of manners yet not audibly pass gas in each others presence!

Omar Little

11-14-2011, 10:32 PM

I'm guessing the OP has never been in a long term relationship.

The Man In Black

11-14-2011, 10:46 PM

I often fart in front of women. I just make sure they are stealth farts.

GaryM

11-15-2011, 08:51 AM

Wife and I have been married for 41 years. We both fart in front of one another and get a good laugh out of it.

It's all natural, right?

OpalCat

11-15-2011, 10:15 AM

Maybe I'll eventually get to that point, but I just... I know it sounds silly and probably vain, but I don't want my husband to ever associate me with the smell of a fart. And anyone at all hearing me fart is fatally embarrassing to me.

md2000

11-15-2011, 10:30 AM

The Toronto Sun had a "battle of the sexes" type pair of columns. The best line, which I remember from many many years ago:

"The difference between men and women is that men revel in their flatulence."

I think we're conditioned as much as possible to not let'er rip in formal social situations and when among strangers. Like most social rules, this is more of a guideline than a strict law. The more familiar with those around us, the less we are inhibited.

faithfool

11-15-2011, 11:03 AM

you with the face

11-15-2011, 12:18 PM

I can't imagine the idea of being in a long-term relationship with someone and not being able to fart around them (eventually.)

Being able to fart freely around my partner is not a day that I'm exactly looking forward to. Some people just aren't recreational farters, and there's nothing funny or liberating about the activity to me.

JBDivmstr

11-15-2011, 01:34 PM

My husband was with his ex-wife for almost five years and he never heard her fart. He thought that was insane and at least one indication of why their marriage failed... she was never completely herself around him, nor did she truly let him "in."

I, on the other hand, probably let 'er rip while we were still dating. :D I figured if he couldn't deal with all of me, there was no point in going forward seriously.

faithfool's 'signature'I like how you opened the thread just to get annoyed. It's like hanging around someone's asshole waiting for them to fart. -- DanBlather

+1 For having the 'signature' that is the most relevant to the thread. :p

pulykamell

11-15-2011, 01:51 PM

Being able to fart freely around my partner is not a day that I'm exactly looking forward to. Some people just aren't recreational farters, and there's nothing funny or liberating about the activity to me.

:confused: WTF is "recreational farting"? I don't think there's anything "funny" or "liberating" about it, either. For me, it's just all about being able to be ourselves around one another. Hell, about the only person I'm comfortable farting around is my wife.

Lust4Life

11-17-2011, 09:31 AM

My ex never once farted in front of me during six years.

I suspect that when partners freely fart in front of each other sex has become a chore for them rather then a pleasure.

The smell of fecal matter is the biggest turn off known to man or woman.

pulykamell

11-17-2011, 09:57 AM

I suspect that when partners freely fart in front of each other sex has become a chore for them rather then a pleasure.

Well, you'd suspect wrongly then. Very much so.

you with the face

11-17-2011, 11:24 AM

:confused: WTF is "recreational farting"? I don't think there's anything "funny" or "liberating" about it, either. For me, it's just all about being able to be ourselves around one another.

I don't consider farting a sign of being myself, so perhaps this is why I can't relate to what you've written. The reason why I don't like people farting in my presence is because the stench is unpleasant to me, and I appreciate it when people make all reasonable attempts to keep such unpleasantness away from my nostrils. And in return I grant them that same courtesy. It has more to do with good manners and thoughtfulness than anything else. It's different if you can't control the farts, but if you can, I don't think its uptight to expect someone--even someone you've been married with for 40 years--to unleash their emmissions in an area free of other people.

While I agree that folks in longterm relationships should eventually get to a place where self-consciousness around their mates cease to exist, I don't consider unrestrained farting to be a proxy for that. That's all.

pulykamell

11-17-2011, 12:08 PM

It's different if you can't control the farts, but if you can, I don't think its uptight to expect someone--even someone you've been married with for 40 years--to unleash their emmissions in an area free of other people.

Eh. I'm a male and my beautiful female partners have always farted and burped much more in my presence than I do in theirs, so I guess I'm used to it and don't think much of it. It's flattering to me that they could just let go in my presence. You obviously think differently, and that's fine. Took me a little bit to get used to it, but I like it. When somebody that is usually so self-conscious and careful becomes so comfortable with you to be completely themselves, it means a lot to me.

On the other hand, my mates are the only people I've ever felt comfortable farting around.

GeneParmesan

11-17-2011, 10:49 PM

Anytime? What about taking a test in school? Sitting on the witness stand in a courtroom? During a GOP debate?

I wonder how an iPhone's voice recognition software would interpret a fart. If it was a long one, it might dial one of your contacts with time left over to leave a message.

Stink Fish Pot

11-17-2011, 11:01 PM

As a male, the dating ritual dictated no farting until the date was over and the girl was safely behind her door. Usually, I would wait until I got back into my car, drive away, roll down the windows, and let fly.

Holding back farts can be very uncomfortable. There's nothing hardwired about it. It's a matter of good manners. If I want to have sex and/or a relationship with this woman, farting in front of her will put a damper on that very quickly.

However, once a relationship is established, farting in front of the woman becomes much less of a problem. Not that I just let the things fly, but if I can't make it to the bathroom first and I fart, well... sorry. I believe the same rules apply to her. Women fart, and I'm not going to look my nose down anyone that let's one slip.

I swear, if my wife heard what I was holding back after our first date, she might not have agreed to a second date. That I was able to hold it in at all was somewhat of a miracle. I couldn't wait to drop her off and get back into my car. That sounds terrible, but if she invited me inside, I would have had to go to her bathroom, and she would have heard (and smelled) a symphony of farting which, quite frankly, made me a bit sick on the way home even with the windows open.

Lust4Life

11-19-2011, 10:50 AM

Some women friends of mine have told me (discussing this thread) that they'd die if they farted in front of a man they liked (even as a freind), but they HAVE used silent farts tactically to discourage men that they've found creepy, or who they think might want a closer relationship then a working one.

Stink Fish Pot

11-19-2011, 04:59 PM

A stealth fart? Man, if dating weren't hard enough as it is...

Now, if they farted in front of a man they liked, would they fess up to it, or would they hope Mr. Rightnow didn't hear it?

What if Mr. Rightnow did hear it, but didn't want to embarrass Miss Take and he decided to say nothing? Then she would miss out on her potential life partner because he's now armed with this information.... she thinks she pulled off an invisifart, but he thinks she fired off an SBD at him because she didn't want to see him again,'

How ironic.

Because of female insecurity, the fart has killed her relationship of a lifetime. Speak up ladies! Unless of course, you don't want us to come sniffing around your door again.

Indygrrl

11-20-2011, 06:35 AM

My husband and I don't openly fart around one another. I mean, sure, sometimes one slips or whatever, and that's not a big deal, but we aren't having contests and giggling over it. Neither of us is the type who feels comfortable farting and burping around anyone, really. There are some things that should, if at all possible, be done privately. We don't hang out in the bathroom together or use the toilet with the door open either. I guess we're just repressed, lol.

Lust4Life

11-20-2011, 12:14 PM

What comes after the farting ?
Do couples start picking their noses in front of each other ?

And if as a natural process we shouldn't be coy about doing it in front of our partners, should we not be coy about taking dumps in front of each other, which is after all is just as natural a process?

Stink Fish Pot

11-20-2011, 05:15 PM

What comes after the farting ?
Do couples start picking their noses in front of each other ?
What's wrong with that? Do you leave the boog up there to perhaps come out on its own later? Maybe it doesn't come out... it just hangs there. Do you not tell your spouse because you are afraid of bodily fluids (fluids here refers to gasses, liquids and solids)?

And if as a natural process we shouldn't be coy about doing it in front of our partners, should we not be coy about taking dumps in front of each other, which is after all is just as natural a process?

Agreed. I think you have figured it out!

What's wrong with everyone? I think it is worse to walk into a bathroom after my wife's been in there than actually being there in person.

I mean, I don't want to watch the process... but if we are in the middle of an argument, she's not getting off the hook because she has a booger! And I'd rather her dig the booger out than have it fall out on its own, perhaps on her person, or in a meal. Now THAT'S gross.

pulykamell

11-20-2011, 06:55 PM

What comes after the farting ?
Do couples start picking their noses in front of each other ?

Picking noses is a big deal? Bigger than farting? Hell, my wife (and at least one other girlfriend in the past) picks my nose sometimes.

brainstall

11-20-2011, 07:06 PM

I grew up with an older brother. He sure wasn't hard-wired not to fart in front of me... and not conditioned not to, either. We share stories still of legendary farts from our youth and laugh about them. Guess it's not that big of a deal for me and while I would prefer a guy not let one rip on our first date, once we know each other, it's going to happen.

JBDivmstr

11-20-2011, 07:55 PM

Picking noses is a big deal? Bigger than farting? Hell, my wife (and at least one other girlfriend in the past) picks my nose sometimes.

Whoa, hold on! :eek:

That is just a little bit TMI! ;)

Lust4Life

11-22-2011, 06:14 AM

Cheshire Human

11-22-2011, 04:32 PM

The smell of fecal matter is the biggest turn off known to man or woman.

One would think so, but if you do a Google Image Search with Safe Search off, for the word "coprophilia", you will find an amazing number of images of people displaying just the opposite attitude.

WARNING: Do not try this at work, and don't try it at all unless you have a very high 'gross-out factor'. I developed a theory a few years ago that the best free porn site on the internet was Google Image Search. You could find anything that turns anyone on. I tried everything (except 'Kiddie Porn' and variants thereof, for obvious reasons) I could think of to test the theory, and found porn for it, in the process also proving Rule 34. That was the one that convinced me my theory was true. I couldn't mash the back button fast enough.

OpalCat

11-22-2011, 04:57 PM

In the earlier, more naive days of the internet (1994-1997 or so) it was common among even my [extremely sophisticated and classy ;)] friends to jokingly send each other jpgs via email that would have an innocuous name but turn out to be something really horrible like a man fucking a chicken or someone taking a dump into someone's mouth. I learned really quickly that there isn't much, if anything, that people won't do for money or fame or fetish or whatever. I was severely grossed out on a number of occasions and some of those photos haunt me to this very day.

Stink Fish Pot

11-23-2011, 01:26 AM

Hey if I've just wiped my backside, and make you some sandwiches without washing my hands, then I'm helping to toughen up your immune system.

We've exchanged bodily fluids right?
So its not a big deal.

You know, for someone posting by the name "Lust4Life", you seem to be just limping along.

( I hope you realize that my replies to you have been in jest...) :D

See? The smilie face proves it!

Shodan

11-23-2011, 10:46 AM

True love is when she pretends to believe me when I blame it on the dog.

Regards,
Shodan

janis_and_c0

11-23-2011, 11:02 AM

Shodan, you win this thread.
Love,
Janis

(and my Daddy thinks it's funny to fart, and so did my first serious boyfriend, so, meh, no big whoopie. (Pardon the pun)

Lust4Life

11-23-2011, 12:02 PM

You know, for someone posting by the name "Lust4Life", you seem to be just limping along.

( I hope you realize that my replies to you have been in jest...) :D

See? The smilie face proves it!

No I'm sorry I have no notion of what "tongue in cheek "is, let alone irony.

I, of course took at face value, every single word you posted.

I mean who wouldn't ?

Stink Fish Pot

11-23-2011, 07:24 PM

No I'm sorry I have no notion of what "tongue in cheek "is, let alone irony.

I, of course took at face value, every single word you posted.

I mean who wouldn't ?

Oh, c'mon... you are telling us you weren't getting just a bit grossed out by some of the admissions in this thread?

I don't know. Next thing, you'll be telling us you eat the peanuts and corn out of your significant other's poo.

Cicero

11-24-2011, 06:14 AM

If that was true there would be a lot of men wandering around with sore guts from trying to hold them back.

Bloodless Turnip

11-24-2011, 09:50 AM

I find it extremely rude. There is nothing cute or endearing about forcing others to inhale the air that has just been living in your intestines.

I'm also not very gassy, so I probably don't totally understand the difficulties involved with holding it or finding an appropriate place to let it loose.

No hard wiring, it's just common courtesy to not stink up the place with air you've passed over your feces.

OpalCat

11-24-2011, 11:31 AM

You're right, it is rude, Bloodless Turnip, and I've held it in until it hurt quite badly just so that I wouldn't inflict my gas on others. It's just part of being civilized. I don't know why men are so much more willing to fart in front of others than women. As a woman I am not qualified to offer an opinion on that.