Do you have a problem with inanimate objects trying to "escape?"

[dzero]

Be honest.

I'm fairly clumsy so I suppose that has something to do with it - maybe. But it seems that the trajectory of any object I drop follows, with an unsettling frequency, the worst and most inconvenient vector possible. Sometimes I'm convinced that they consider the laws of motion completely optional.

Of course this is likely just my imagination combined with selective memory - or at least that's what "they" keep telling me. But how do I know that "they" aren't in on it?

The orderly says it's time for my meds, but I'm sure some of you will be bold enough to admit that it's not always your imagination.

[elfkin477]

I do. I put things down on what seem to be flat surfaces, turn my back, and they slide to the floor. Constantly. I suck at putting things down, apparently.

[Trinopus]

Yep! "Inanimate" my eye! For instance, I find it almost impossible to shake only one pill from a pill bottle. They always pop out in pairs, at least, and often more. I shake the bottle with the utmost delicacy... Nothing... nothing.... nothing.... two.

And, yes, dropped items! Drop a screw, and it will bounce directly under the heaviest piece of furniture in the room. Or between a bookshelf and the wall. Or into a shag carpet.

It all started with buttered toast... Once inanimate objects learned they had the power to cause us to feel frustration and angst, they never stopped!

(I'm actually surprised my computer didn't crash during the co

[Antinor01]

The cats toys always end up under the sofa. It doesn't matter if he has actually been playing with them or not.

[dzero]

It all started with buttered toast... Once inanimate objects learned they had the power to cause us to feel frustration and angst, they never stopped!
EXACTLY!!!

I understand the longing to explore and see the undersides of furniture. I mean, who doesn't? What I hate is the obvious malice involved. I've tried to "teach them a lesson", but they just won't learn. It's sorta how I ended up here, but we won't get into that - not just yet anyway. :)

[Beware of Doug]

I wish my hamburgers would stop mooshing their way out of the bun while I am trying to eat them.

[Senegoid]

You all don't seem to understand the gravity of these situations. Gravity is the evil motivating sourceforce of much inanimate malice you have observed. You need to eliminate gravity from your homes, workplaces, wherever you spend much time. This will give you a much greater handle on this. Note, this in no way reduces the malice of your inanimate objects, it merely eliminates their capacity for evil. But that's good enough, mostly.

[Mangetout]

I exploit the effect to my advantage. Coins roll until they hit something, then they fall over - often this is beside the recessed kickboard of a shop counter or some such. I pick up the money that other people lose.

[dzero]

I exploit the effect to my advantage. Coins roll until they hit something, then they fall over - often this is beside the recessed kickboard of a shop counter or some such. I pick up the money that other people lose.
Coins are among the most deceitful objects I've known. Actually, I'd say more passive-aggressive with a side order of deceit. They almost always pretend to follow the rules, but in fact, all they have is contempt, laughing at both gravity and probability.

I'm sure that whatever they do, it's always to their benefit somehow. Your found coins are a perfect example. They travel to some hidey hole where their "owner" won't know to look but someone else will. An intricate plan followed by exquisite execution that to all appearances demonstrates complete obedience to the laws of motion.

But we know better. I can't always tell what goal their behavior advances, but I know that they have one. It's just not always possible to see behind the perfectly crafted facade to the dark machinations within.

[Senegoid]

I'm sure that whatever they do, it's always to their benefit somehow. Your found coins are a perfect example. They travel to some hidey hole where their "owner" won't know to look but someone else will. An intricate plan followed by exquisite execution that to all appearances demonstrates complete obedience to the laws of motion.

But we know better. I can't always tell what goal their behavior advances, but I know that they have one. It's just not always possible to see behind the perfectly crafted facade to the dark machinations within.

I read a little story once about an Evil Ring that did that . . .

As for Mangetout's practice of picking up those gravity-addled coins that gravitated away from their past masters . . . I befriended a poor borderline-homeless couple once. They told me they picked up money by going to those self-service car-wash places, with the huge hungus vacuum cleaners, and cleaning out their air filters. They always found coins there, and sometimes even pwnable jewelry.

[Accidental Martyr]

Yes. If I only have enough change for the drink machine and I drop a coin it will roll under the machine.

[Corcaigh]

I do. I put things down on what seem to be flat surfaces, turn my back, and they slide to the floor. Constantly. I suck at putting things down, apparently.

This happens to me all the time in my kitchen - and I have a tiled floor in there, so anything breakable explodes on contact. I've suffered the loss of so many items of crockery that I'm tempted to believe the kitchen is haunted by the vengeful/ playful spirit of my deceased cat.

But she never used to climb around on kitchen surfaces... :dubious:

I've checked (using a marble) and the counter tops aren't wonky. I've also put down mats on the floor and falling objects simply bounce off the mat to smash to smithereens elsewhere.

I also have several empty CD, or DVD, boxes. I have no idea where the discs are.

I bought a stapler, lost it, bought a new one, the old one didn't suddenly reappear.

My shampoo or shower gel bottles regularly fall over (I leave them standing in the floor of the shower)

Towels fall off the towel rail on a regular basis

Whenever I throw something in the bin, it misses. Doesn't matter if I'm "going for a three pointer", or standing right next to the bin - whatever is in my hand will land on the floor.

One morning I was woken by a strange noise - strange enough for me to be woken instantly - I opened my eyes to see some flattened filing boxes slithering off the top shelf of my wardrobe onto the floor.

I put up some shelves, all bar two of them have parted company with the wall - one was above my bed and hit me in the face while I was asleep (the walls are solid concrete, and I use that "no nails" or whatever it's called glue stuff - the shelves are very small and have lightweight items on them).

My handbag never ever stays where I put it, unless I hang it on the hook that I put up for my handbag as I was sick to death of it falling off chairs, falling over on the floor etc etc.

Last Christmas I bought a chocolate cheesecake, was it nomilicious? I have no idea, the bag it was in somersaulted off the back seat and the cheesecake fell out, the box burst open and the back of the car is still manky from it. The car was stationary at the time, I was still taking bags out of the trolley. The bag containing the cheesecake was the only bag I'd put into the car. I'd set it at a 45ish degree angle (leaning back) specifically to stop the bag falling over.

I have lost several items of clothing. I have a washing machine and dryer, and don't put anything out on the line.

I picked up my prescription at the chemist one day, three days later I couldn't find the tablets anywhere. I had to go back to the chemist and request a re-supply. The originals have never resurfaced.

spooky

[Wheelz]

The prescription pills I take have somehow gained the ability to become invisible upon touching the bathroom floor. When I happen to drop one, it will have a good laugh watching me search on my hands and knees for several minutes, then become visible again, directly in front of the sink.
Little bastards!

[ThelmaLou]

In the past there have been several key items necessary for the maintenance of civilization of my home and body that kept disappearing on me. But I thwarted the nefarious plan of the evil bastards about 20 years ago.

I could NEVER find my scissors, tweezers, or metal nail file, so over a period of a couple of years I laid in a supply of at least a dozen of each object and placed them all over the house. Now, no matter where you are-- bathroom, kitchen, desk, watching TV-- you are never more than three feet away from one of those things. In my bathroom, I have at least three pairs of tweezers and another one on my bedside table. Scissors are everywhere. TV watching location has at least two of each.

Bwaaa-haaa-haaa!! Take THAT yeh fiendish thingies!! (cf. the Beatles' movie HELP!).

Of course, I still can't ever find a roll of scotch tape or wrapping paper, no matter how many of those I buy. I prolly need to live in an office supply store.

[Maastricht]

Yes, but you can outwit them. Many a time I have pretended to throw away an earring because I had only one left, and this isn't the eighties anymore where I got away with wearing just one earring.
Anyway, after the click of the carbage bin, I say out loud: " That was a shame. Oh well, if that other earring ever shows up, I will have to throw that one out, too."

Within a day after the garbage truck has passed, the other earring shows up, hoping to savour my frustration. Then I say: "gotcha!" and reunite it with its twin. :D

[tdn]

Socks.

[Maastricht]

Oh, socks!

I have a separate part of my drawer for mismatched socks. After every laundry sorting, I make sock-rolls the Navy way. The socks that don't have a match go in the single-sock-drawer. Every once in a while I try to make pairs out of the singles; surprisingly often, that doesn't succeed.

Doper Lightray remarked he was amused that I was running a dating service for socks. And that I was just about as successful as any other dating service.

[ThelmaLou]

Socks do not obey ANY of the known laws of this dimension. They operate on a different plane and no one has ever been able to crack the code.

[dzero]

I fear it may be a little rude to have so many quotes, but I really want to comment on these. After all, part of the purpose of the thread is to share strategies and techniques. I'm especially in need of that.
Yes, but you can outwit them. Many a time I have pretended to throw away an earring because I had only one left, and this isn't the eighties anymore where I got away with wearing just one earring.
Anyway, after the click of the carbage bin, I say out loud: " That was a shame. Oh well, if that other earring ever shows up, I will have to throw that one out, too."

Within a day after the garbage truck has passed, the other earring shows up, hoping to savour my frustration. Then I say: "gotcha!" and reunite it with its twin. :D
Yes. I will call this the Sun Tzu approach. Why fight with brute force when you can use their own methods against them. Misdirection --> Sell the deception --> VICTORY!!!
In the past there have been several key items necessary for the maintenance of civilization of my home and body that kept disappearing on me. But I thwarted the nefarious plan of the evil bastards about 20 years ago.
This sounds like a good plan, but I wonder what might happen in the even of a full scale revolt. It's not likely because I think they need us for something beyond the obvious. Not sure what, but I've been working on it.
The prescription pills I take have somehow gained the ability to become invisible upon touching the bathroom floor. When I happen to drop one, it will have a good laugh watching me search on my hands and knees for several minutes, then become visible again, directly in front of the sink.
Little bastards!
Ah, yes. Invisibility. I was thinking wormholes or dimensional jumps, but Occam's Razor says I should favor this explanation. And this is perfectly in line with their modus operandi - stealth, deception, cunning.
This happens to me all the time in my kitchen - and I have a tiled floor in there, so anything breakable explodes on contact. I've suffered the loss of so many items of crockery that I'm tempted to believe the kitchen is haunted by the vengeful/ playful spirit of my deceased cat.
I've noticed that ceramics seem to be mostly suicidal. I think because of their sized, they can't flout the rules with the same abandon as smaller objects. I think it's a little like the vampire code. They don't care if some of us know. They actually want that since they need people like us to torture and harrow. But they can't let any actual proof get out. Now that I think about it, it may be less about a tendency toward suicide and more about internal enforcement.

Whenever I throw something in the bin, it misses. Doesn't matter if I'm "going for a three pointer", or standing right next to the bin - whatever is in my hand will land on the floor.
I think misdirection might work here. Say aloud that you want it to land somewhere else and sell it by making that seem like a plausible target. I'm betting it will go in every time. But you must remember to seem frustrated when it does.

Note: I don't know if they can read everyone's mind. I think it might just be a few of us whom (who? :confused:) I believe where specifically bred for that purpose (long story). But if it seems that they can anticipate your next move occasionally, then they probably can. BTW, tin foil doesn't seem to help.

Last Christmas I bought a chocolate cheesecake, was it nomilicious? I have no idea, the bag it was in somersaulted off the back seat and the cheesecake fell out, the box burst open and the back of the car is still manky from it. The car was stationary at the time, I was still taking bags out of the trolley. The bag containing the cheesecake was the only bag I'd put into the car. I'd set it at a 45ish degree angle (leaning back) specifically to stop the bag falling over.
This sounds quite serious. And it happened in such a public place. Very uncharacteristic. I suspect something unrelated was going on and your poor cheese cake was collateral damage. Let's hope so anyway.
I picked up my prescription at the chemist one day, three days later I couldn't find the tablets anywhere. I had to go back to the chemist and request a re-supply. The originals have never resurfaced.
This is the sort of evil we are dealing with. That can't be emphasized enough. Would you deny your great uncle his nitroglycerin if he were to have chest pains? Of course not. You're good and moral (apologies if that offends anyone :cool:). But this is part of the game. They don't really want to kill you outright, but if they're having fun and that happens . . . oh well. It takes them a while to find your weakness, vulnerabilities, etc. and they don't really want to start from scratch again. So you are somewhat valuable. But that is valuable as in chattels. Basically, how we would look at an ox or a cow.
spooky
Indeed. Good luck!!!
I read a little story once about an Evil Ring that did that . . .

As for Mangetout's practice of picking up those gravity-addled coins that gravitated away from their past masters . . . I befriended a poor borderline-homeless couple once.
Just want you to know that we really did appreciate the help. Borderline is impossible to treat pharmacologically (more or less) and because of the wild swings, people tend to be put off very quickly.

BTW, sorry about rearranging the rocks in your Zen garden. That was the OCD not me. I had no choice. I hope you'll understand. :)

[Jackmannii]

My shampoo or shower gel bottles regularly fall overThe full ones in particular, if placed in their usual recess high up in the shower, gleefully tumble over onto your feet when you have your eyes closed shampooing your hair. When you hear them start to go, you have only a split second to take evasive action.

Most atrocious inanimate object of all - garden hose. It kinks, it knots, it trips you up, it deliberately drags itself across your delicate plantings, it won't coil in a logical way, it refuses to join up with other hoses properly so that you get sprayed in the face when you turn the water on...the list is endless. Hose is evil.

[salinqmind]

There isn't one level surface in the whole house. The stove. The counters. The refrigerator shelves. Everything falls over and rolls off all the time...And socks disappear. I don't care about my own as I have a lifetime supply, but Mr. Sali has special thick wool socks for his Princess-and-the-Pea feet. Only four pairs, which means I have to keep up with the laundry all the time - no spares - so if one of his Special Socks disappears, there is great scrambling and rending of garments in the morning until I "find" one (a used one, in the laundry basket - I brush off any dust and quick iron it flat so it looks 'clean').

[cjepson]

I have no problem with inanimate objects trying to escape. If they really love me, they'll come back.

[ThelmaLou]

Hmmm... I expect the objects will know that we've been comparing notes. It's the one thing they don't want. Retaliatory strikes will probably increase. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

[Dr. Woo]

Oh jeez yes! I drop something (about a thousand times a day, by the way), bend down and pick it up, drop it again. Pick it up, drop it again.

Stop trying to escape!!

[Rachellelogram]

I'm surrounded by an anti-plasnetic :p field which repels all attempts to hold on to bottle caps. I swear to god all 10 of my fingers turn to thumbs when I'm opening a bottled beverage. Then the cap scatters under my bed or under my desk or even out the door.

They're doing it on purpose, I'm sure of it.

[tdn]

Ah, escapee food. The other day I got a little bag of Cheez-Its. I opened it in the standard way, but either I don't know my own strength, or those little buggers were planning an escape. Before I knew it the bag was in two and I had a yellow desk.

[QuarkChild]

I have solved The Sock Problem by wearing only one style/color of sock 98% of the time. Every once in a while it behooves me to wear dress socks, but otherwise, I always wear black Maggie's organic cotton socks. I probably have 12 pairs of these socks, so I don't care if one get eaten by the dryer beastie.

Note that using this method of sock acquisition, you never need to mate your socks. Just grab any two!

[FloatyGimpy]

And if you're in the bathroom when something manages to squirm its way out of your hand (especially if it's a toothbrush or hairbrush) it will always dive for the floor behind the toilet so you're forced to kneel down and reach around the toilet and then you either have to boil or throw out the item thus securing their release into the great outdoors.

[jackdavinci]

No buy they often try to kill me.

[LegsAkimbo]

Wow, I had no idea this kind of thing was so widespread. Kind of creepy. Here's my thing: When I am pulling any sort of cable, be it the vacuum cord, extension cord, a garden hose--it doesn't matter what--it will catch on something. The thing it catches on will not be in a direct line from me and the source, it will have to reach outside that line to snag. A hose will catch on something 1/8" off the ground and a yard away from the drag trajectory. I know, this doesn't qualify as an "escape" necessarily, more as stubborn resistance. But it happens with uncanny frequency.

[Daylate]

If a scientist is discussing this sort of thing he will label it "Entropy" if nobody stops him. See below:

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/833/entropy.gif/

Ny Father had a theory about this. He called it "The Malevolence of the Inanimate".

[dzero]

Hmmm... I expect the objects will know that we've been comparing notes. It's the one thing they don't want. Retaliatory strikes will probably increase. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
This is very disturbing.
If a scientist is discussing this sort of thing he will label it "Entropy" if nobody stops him. See below:

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/833/entropy.gif/

My Father had a theory about this. He called it "The Malevolence of the Inanimate".
He was obviously very wise and not afraid to see the world as it truly is. :cool:

[Sattua]

The inanimate objects are out to get me. The damned things are so disobedient.

I don't have bad days, they have naughty days.

[Michael63129]

I sometimes feel the same way when I drop something (usually electronic components) and it ends up far from where I would expect it to be found. Or I put something down and never find it again (or not for a long time). In particular, pencils, so I keep several with the idea that it is unlikely that all of them will be lost at once (works pretty well; they usually end up in component boxes so i find them when I access one).

[chela]

Yes.

I suppose this week it could be about my face cream (where the hell does a jar of face cream roll off too?)and two sets of housekeys gone missing, no worries, Im sure they'll turn up some day next week

but it's not.

It's about the wild animal on the prowl, that yowled and woke up a household. But it wasn't the cats, they heard the growls too. We turned on the lights and peered outdoors, nothing, so we went back to bed.

the next morning, the inaninmate objects told the story...

lions off their pedestals!

the inanimate objects tried to escape!

[ThelmaLou]

Wow, I had no idea this kind of thing was so widespread. Kind of creepy. Here's my thing: When I am pulling any sort of cable, be it the vacuum cord, extension cord, a garden hose--it doesn't matter what--it will catch on something. The thing it catches on will not be in a direct line from me and the source, it will have to reach outside that line to snag. A hose will catch on something 1/8" off the ground and a yard away from the drag trajectory. I know, this doesn't qualify as an "escape" necessarily, more as stubborn resistance. But it happens with uncanny frequency.

I have OFTEN thought about this one, namely how odd teeny hooks or knobby things will catch on something in a way that defies the laws of gravity and physics.

I mean, if someone stood next to you with a suitcase full of $100 bills and said they would give you 24 hours to randomly fling that cord or whatever so it would get hung up in just that way and the money would be yours, you couldn't MAKE the fiendish thingie catch in a million tries. But every time you get the vacuum out or unroll the hose it happens spontaneously
.

And what about necklaces and chains that tie themselves in knots inside jewelry boxes when no one ever touches them?

[Senegoid]

Oh jeez yes! I drop something (about a thousand times a day, by the way), bend down and pick it up, drop it again. Pick it up, drop it again.

Stop trying to escape!!

Worse, multiple inanimate objects in your shirt pocket will conspire, and do this to you as a tag-team. Typically, when I bend over to pick up something (or for whatever reason), my glasses will fall out of the leather case in my pocket. When I bend over to pick up the glasses, the leather case will fall out. When I reach to pick that up, various other things in my pocket will fall out.

[Colophon]

I exploit the effect to my advantage. Coins roll until they hit something, then they fall over - often this is beside the recessed kickboard of a shop counter or some such. I pick up the money that other people lose.
In the changing rooms here at work there are lockers with a fixed bench in front of them. The bench has slats on it and you wouldn't believe how many people drop their coins under there. I take a look under there every week or so and it usually pays for my lunch. :)

Worse, multiple inanimate objects in your shirt pocket will conspire, and do this to you as a tag-team. Typically, when I bend over to pick up something (or for whatever reason), my glasses will fall out of the leather case in my pocket. When I bend over to pick up the glasses, the leather case will fall out. When I reach to pick that up, various other things in my pocket will fall out.
Oh yes. Or you drop something, step over to pick it up and somehow end up kicking it across the floor. Or you try to catch it with one hand before it hits the ground and instead bat it clear across the room into someone's head.

And don't even get me started on the keys that somehow hook everything else out of my pocket and onto the floor when I pull them out. I think I mentioned in another thread that this is one of those minor irritations that often leads to small fits of rage, flinging the rogue items onto the ground...

[Zebra]

The headphones to my iPod have wrestling matches in my pocket, which is why they are tangled up and knotted when I pull them out.

[dzero]

I sometimes feel the same way when I drop something (usually electronic components) and it ends up far from where I would expect it to be found. Or I put something down and never find it again (or not for a long time). In particular, pencils, so I keep several with the idea that it is unlikely that all of them will be lost at once (works pretty well; they usually end up in component boxes so i find them when I access one).
I had been leaning toward the idea of a cloaking ability of some sort since it seemed to be more realistic (whatever "realistic" means in this context). But while reading your post, I realized that it has to be something much more sophisticated. The shear volume of items that simply disappear would eventually make their presence know - invisible or not. Disappearing works for a few things in a nook here and a cranny there, but what most of us have experienced is orders of magnitude beyond that. :confused:
It's about the wild animal on the prowl, that yowled and woke up a household. But it wasn't the cats, they heard the growls too. We turned on the lights and peered outdoors, nothing, so we went back to bed.

the next morning, the inaninmate objects told the story...

lions off their pedestals!

the inanimate objects tried to escape!
Fascinating!!! I've heard of such things happening but I've never witnessed it myself.

It seems that some objects are made with one extra, but very special ingredient - the distilled essence of pure evil. Such objects are so far beyond the reach of tiny concepts like good and evil that they are simply inscrutable. The only thing you can be certain of is that they will ruin your day, often in spectacular and legendary fashion.

Oh yes. Or you drop something, step over to pick it up and somehow end up kicking it across the floor. Or you try to catch it with one hand before it hits the ground and instead bat it clear across the room into someone's head.

And don't even get me started on the keys that somehow hook everything else out of my pocket and onto the floor when I pull them out. I think I mentioned in another thread that this is one of those minor irritations that often leads to small fits of rage, flinging the rogue items onto the ground...
Recently they seem to have been focusing on my cat. She's a bit faster than I am and . . . . I'm so ashamed that have to admit this, but I on some level I sort of understand the entertainment value.

Oh god, I feel so dirty. Please forgive me fellow martyrs. :( :( :(

[Tom Tildrum]

The philosophical theory that posits that inanimate objects act out of deliberate spite is called "resistentialism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resistentialism)".

[Edward The Head]

Worse, multiple inanimate objects in your shirt pocket will conspire, and do this to you as a tag-team. Typically, when I bend over to pick up something (or for whatever reason), my glasses will fall out of the leather case in my pocket. When I bend over to pick up the glasses, the leather case will fall out. When I reach to pick that up, various other things in my pocket will fall out.

I had this happen to me last summer with my sun glasses. I had a really nice pair, I took my daughter to the portapotty and the small opening behind her butt and the seat was just big enough for them to escape through. They had never fallen off my shirt before, but that day they made a run for it. I'm just glad my cell phone wasn't listening too.

[Corcaigh]

I've noticed that ceramics seem to be mostly suicidal. I think because of their sized, they can't flout the rules with the same abandon as smaller objects. I think it's a little like the vampire code. They don't care if some of us know.

And mere hours after I'd posted, didn't a little dish do a Greg Louganis off the worktop onto the floor - as if to say "we know you told others"

*hides under blankey*


I think misdirection might work here. Say aloud that you want it to land somewhere else and sell it by making that seem like a plausible target. I'm betting it will go in every time. But you must remember to seem frustrated when it does.

That is genuis! Next time, I won't aim for the bin, but for the floor!! I'll let you know how it works out!


This sounds quite serious. And it happened in such a public place. Very uncharacteristic. I suspect something unrelated was going on and your poor cheese cake was collateral damage. Let's hope so anyway.

It was quite disturbing, I put the bag at an angle specifically so it wouldn't fall over, turned around, heard a whump, turned back OMG!!! asspolded cheesecake all over the place! No matter how many times I clean, there seems to be some that I missed...

Indeed. Good luck!!!

*salutes* thank you!



The full ones in particular, if placed in their usual recess high up in the shower, gleefully tumble over onto your feet when you have your eyes closed shampooing your hair. When you hear them start to go, you have only a split second to take evasive action.

Mine fall over when I'm not there, they take particular delight in falling over when I'm downstairs watching something alike GhostHunters or Paranormal State on TV.


Oh yes. Or you drop something, step over to pick it up and somehow end up kicking it across the floor. Or you try to catch it with one hand before it hits the ground and instead bat it clear across the room into someone's head.

Yes!

I have a coffee mug that likes to reposition itself when I'm not looking - I'll reach out to pick up the remote control and the mug will move so that it's between my hand and the remote and I end up with coffee everywhere - it never does this when it's empty. sneaky

[Senegoid]

And don't even get me started on the keys that somehow hook everything else out of my pocket and onto the floor when I pull them out. I think I mentioned in another thread that this is one of those minor irritations that often leads to small fits of rage, flinging the rogue items onto the ground...

It's one of the corollaries of Quantum Physics that to extract any object from a pocket, you must extract all other objects from that pocket first.

[thelabdude]

The nice thing about dogs is that they will eventually find anything that disappears. Now how good is my Lisinopril for my dog?

[Askance]

Oh yes. How is it that I can put an item on a flat surface, have it sit there unmoving for 5 or 10 minutes .. then it starts slithering over and eventually falls to the floor? How is that possible? Tides in the earth? I have no idea.

[Senegoid]

The nice thing about dogs is that they will eventually find anything that disappears. Now how good is my Lisinopril for my dog?

In other words, you mean, they will eventually find and eat anything that disappears. Right?

[anya marie]

I'm having this problem. I found my tweezers and the remotes but NOW my glasses are missing and I could just scream.

Been trying to organize and store stuff properly here and i have fuck all to show for it.

[jz78817]

when I'm working on a car, any dropped item whether it be a screw, socket, or whatever will always end up under the car at the exact center. Forcing me to crawl down there and get it.

doesn't matter if I'm working underhood or on a door.

[thelabdude]

In other words, you mean, they will eventually find and eat anything that disappears. Right?

I guess I felt eat, or at least chew was so obvious I didn't mention it. The one possible exception would be a pill they need to take. We have had at least one young Lab in the house most of the time since 1991. Some of them have not depended on things to fall off the table. Some of our sofa pillows are so clumsy that when they ''fall off'', they land clear on the other side of the room.

Oh, working on the car. Some of your more crafty sockets will roll directly behind the tire. Still difficult to reach, but only after you finally find them.

[Corcaigh]

Oh yes. How is it that I can put an item on a flat surface, have it sit there unmoving for 5 or 10 minutes .. then it starts slithering over and eventually falls to the floor? How is that possible? Tides in the earth? I have no idea.

I can go one better, I took washing out of the machine, and put it into a plastic wash basket, I put the basket on the dining room table, then went to do something else; and completely forgot about the washing. I go back into the kitchen a few hours later and the basket falls off the table.

Invisible trip wires?

How many times can you drop your car keys between car and house? My record is four...

[Blue Blistering Barnacle]

Oh, socks!

I have a separate part of my drawer for mismatched socks. After every laundry sorting, I make sock-rolls the Navy way. The socks that don't have a match go in the single-sock-drawer. Every once in a while I try to make pairs out of the singles; surprisingly often, that doesn't succeed.

Doper Lightray remarked he was amused that I was running a dating service for socks. And that I was just about as successful as any other dating service.

We call ours "the lonely hearts club".

[Blue Blistering Barnacle]

I have solved The Sock Problem by wearing only one style/color of sock 98% of the time. Every once in a while it behooves me to wear dress socks, but otherwise, I always wear black Maggie's organic cotton socks. I probably have 12 pairs of these socks, so I don't care if one get eaten by the dryer beastie.

Note that using this method of sock acquisition, you never need to mate your socks. Just grab any two!

I have tried this. I just run three types of sock- white , dark blue, and khaki. This STILL doesn't work, because my sock OCD gets rubbed the wrong way when the sock makes or colors (or wear) are different, AND THEY ARE DIFFERENT SOCKS! DARN IT!

[Filbert]

I resolved the sock problem by deliberately wearing mis-matched socks. They didn't expect that, and haven't yet worked out a response...

They're not in charge of me.

[TR3driver]

... Doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

[Senegoid]

We call ours [unmatched after-laundry socks] "the lonely hearts club".

If you have Argyle socks, they would be the "Lonely Diamonds Club"

I have tried this. I just run three types of sock- white , dark blue, and khaki. This STILL doesn't work, because my sock OCD gets rubbed the wrong way when the sock makes or colors (or wear) are different, AND THEY ARE DIFFERENT SOCKS! DARN IT!

Wait! Haven't you just solved your own problem? When a sock gets unduly worn . . . DARN IT!

(I know Og has a place in Hell for me for writing that.)

[dzero]

I just realized something. By painting ALL inanimate objects with the same brush, how am I any better than the average bigot? Why should I assume that all of the objects that don't participate in this taunting really want to, but for whatever reason can't. Maybe they're just as appalled at the sort of behavior cataloged here.

I was just pulling a couple of batteries out of the wall charger, but only needed one. Both fell (jumped, whatever) to the floor but one only rolled a couple of inches while the other one rolled out of sight. I only needed the one and I'm sure it knew that since the mouse I use likes to munch on batteries. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by guilt and remorse.

Now I want to do something to show how sorry I am, but I can't think of anything that would be meaningful. :(

[thelabdude]

I have noticed it is little things that usually do it. I do remember though when I was residing my 2 story house, the hammer lost no chance to jump to the ground.

Now larger things like chairs love to wait until the room is dark and then jump out in front of you.

[Corcaigh]

I resolved the sock problem by deliberately wearing mis-matched socks. They didn't expect that, and haven't yet worked out a response...

They're not in charge of me.

You. are. awesome.


Does anyone else 'group' inanimate objects so they won't get lonely? I do it all the time, I hate to see anything sitting on a shelf all alone, so I find something to sit next to it.

[dzero]

Does anyone else 'group' inanimate objects so they won't get lonely? I do it all the time, I hate to see anything sitting on a shelf all alone, so I find something to sit next to it.
Oh god yes. I used to do that before I became just another jaded foot soldier in this war. Those were happy times.

Right now I'm trying to decide if my sudden change of heart is really warranted by a single observation or if I'm just a victim of Stockholm Syndrome.

[thelabdude]

I just realized the back up light bulb sockets in my car made an attempt. Fortunately although they managed to get out of the holes they belong in, they didn't far due to the wire to them. I just had to put them back in place.

[Jamicat]

Why do my doorways shrink over night? :dubious:

[thelabdude]

On the other hand, or foot, how about the way a rope or cord can hang on to your foot for dear live?

[67java89]

Yes, I agree that ceramics (especially cups) are definitely suicidal.

If you drop something while getting out of your car and there is a puddle 10 feet away, the object will bounce and land in the puddle.

Cords have an evil life of their own. My iPod cord or cellphone charger will wrap itself around things, unbeknownst to me, and when I get up, it will pull 5 things off the table with it. :smack:

[thelabdude]

Cords? Are they sexual like snakes and earth worms and have cause to wrap themselves together?

[Chefguy]

The underside of the cabinet overhangs in the kitchen are, I'm sure, chock-a-block with raisins (or what used to be grapes), coffee beans, nuts, bits of cereal and the dessicated remants of cherry tomatoes. I refuse to bow to their macho head games by bending over to retrieve them after they've scurried under there to practice whatever sordid little fibrous perversions they engage in once they're on their own.

[dzero]

Cords have an evil life of their own. My iPod cord or cellphone charger will wrap itself around things, unbeknownst to me, and when I get up, it will pull 5 things off the table with it. :smack:
I'd forgotten about tag-teaming. They do raise it to the level of high art. Although since it would technically be performance art, I can't be sure there isn't a contradiction lurking in there somewhere. :D
The underside of the cabinet overhangs in the kitchen are, I'm sure, chock-a-block with raisins (or what used to be grapes), coffee beans, nuts, bits of cereal and the dessicated remants of cherry tomatoes. I refuse to bow to their macho head games by bending over to retrieve them after they've scurried under there to practice whatever sordid little fibrous perversions they engage in once they're on their own.
So . . . both evil and kinky. How worried should I be that I find that combination enticing? :eek:

[thelabdude]

The underside of the cabinet overhangs in the kitchen are, I'm sure, chock-a-block with raisins (or what used to be grapes), coffee beans, nuts, bits of cereal and the dessicated remants of cherry tomatoes. I refuse to bow to their macho head games by bending over to retrieve them after they've scurried under there to practice whatever sordid little fibrous perversions they engage in once they're on their own.

Not in any house with a dog. The only thing left would be pills the dog should have taken.

[MacLir]

I have solved The Sock Problem by wearing only one style/color of sock 98% of the time. Every once in a while it behooves me to wear dress socks, but otherwise, I always wear black Maggie's organic cotton socks. I probably have 12 pairs of these socks, so I don't care if one get eaten by the dryer beastie.

Note that using this method of sock acquisition, you never need to mate your socks. Just grab any two!

Nice try, but age and dye lots will defeat that.

I've had good results with the use of diaper pins (the kind that LOCK). Regular safety pins won't hack the job, and then you have two socks and an open safety pin at large in the wash.:eek:

[QuarkChild]

Nice try, but age and dye lots will defeat that.
You people are too fussy. They're both technically black, right? Close enough.

[Corcaigh]

I have to report an incident of aportation.

I found a poker chip in the kitchen.

where did it come from??

[Why Child]

The dryer eats my socks. I was going (more) crazy not knowing whether it was the washer or dryer. Counted pairs while putting clothes from washer to dryer...AHA!! It's the dryer.
(snip)
I've had good results with the use of diaper pins (the kind that LOCK). Regular safety pins won't hack the job, and then you have two socks and an open safety pin at large in the wash.:eek: I've tried that! The pins tear big holes in my socks, it's awful. I'm not sure whether the pins are sock-haters, or the socks tear themselves in their struggle to be free...

[chela]

another escapee, that print of ben franklin, pilfered for pilsner or tucked in a book, or in my childs hot little hand?

[Maiira]

Fucking silverware. I drop silverware all the time and it makes the most obnoxious noise when it lands, and I swear to god it does this on purpose. Especially forks. Fuck forks.

And I don't hit things with my elbows, knees and other extremities, things hit my extremities!

[Siam Sam]

Once I shoot the bastards, they never try it again. (Hard to shake some of those Texas traditions.)

[Maiira]

Also, this (http://quickshipwarehouse.com/ebayimages/newimages/ppp8004.jpg) remote just loves--LOVES--the floor. The floor must have the best drugs, or something, because that remote always finds its way there. No matter where on the table you set it, it WILL fall off. Of course, this may just be due to its shitty design, but it also may or may not be evil. You decide.

[Dr. Girlfriend]

I have OFTEN thought about this one, namely how odd teeny hooks or knobby things will catch on something in a way that defies the laws of gravity and physics.

I mean, if someone stood next to you with a suitcase full of $100 bills and said they would give you 24 hours to randomly fling that cord or whatever so it would get hung up in just that way and the money would be yours, you couldn't MAKE the fiendish thingie catch in a million tries. But every time you get the vacuum out or unroll the hose it happens spontaneously
.

And what about necklaces and chains that tie themselves in knots inside jewelry boxes when no one ever touches them?

Yes, how does that happen with the chains? All of my necklaces are on seperate hooks in the jewelry box, but when I go to get one out, four more try to come with it!

My ipod earbud cord manages to catch itself on anything and everything. Especially the dishwasher latch. I can be five feet away from the dishwasher and all of a sudden my earbuds are forcibly removed from my ears by the dishwasher latch! The cord isn't that long!

[furryman]

I have solved The Sock Problem by wearing only one style/color of sock 98% of the time. Every once in a while it behooves me to wear dress socks, but otherwise, I always wear black Maggie's organic cotton socks. I probably have 12 pairs of these socks, so I don't care if one get eaten by the dryer beastie.

Note that using this method of sock acquisition, you never need to mate your socks. Just grab any two!

For some reason I seem to have ended up with seven different types of socks. I can't figure out how. Maybe other people's socks like living with me? ;)

[dzero]

I caught one of them in the act today. There was a knife on the little sliver of counter top between the sink and the edge. As I walked by, something didn't seem right. The knife should have been flat on the counter, but instead, it was listing toward the floor making one end stick up slightly.

The pointy end was the part hanging off of the counter. I know it wasn't ready to jump though. Instantly I saw it's diabolical plan. It would wait until I was standing by the sink and then, at just the right moment, it would do the old heave ho and plant itself in one of my metatarsal bones.

I hate to say it, but I think this shit might be gettin' real.

[Askance]

My ipod earbud cord manages to catch itself on anything and everything. Especially the dishwasher latch. I can be five feet away from the dishwasher and all of a sudden my earbuds are forcibly removed from my ears by the dishwasher latch! The cord isn't that long!
I put it in my pocket nicely wound. When it comes out, the cord has knots in it. Actual knots! Knots that Captain Cook wouldn't recognise!

[Corcaigh]

Caller to a radio show was in a bad mood (apparently the show does a Whinge on Wednesday thing) because she'd spent ages preparing a stew, left the pot on the worktop while she answered the door, came back to find the pot on the floor!


A couple of years ago I bought a little gizmo for Olbas Oil (battery operated fan thing), I had it on one night but knocked it over in my sleep. Following morning I go to retrieve it and cannot find it anywhere. So I gave up.

This week I was turning my mattress, and what do I find under the mattress (and I mean between the mattress and the divan)? My Olbas Oil thingy squashed completely flat, batteries and Olbas Oil pad gone. How did it get there?!?!?

[Pushkin]

Is this a thread about when things get knocked over spill or fall out of cupboards? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KR4BmDL5c&feature=youtube_gdata_player)

[stanger]

In my shop, I work with a lot of small metal objects. Most of them do not easily roll, but if any of them are placed anywhere close to the edge of the workbench, they will find their way to the floor.

This, in itself, is not surprising. What facinates me is that every time something falls from the bench - every time - it hits the rounded toe of the front of my shoe and richochets straight under the bench and into the darkness therein. Getting down on hands and knees with a flashlight will not reveal their whereabouts. You can look all about on the floor, and you will never find the part. I have found that it is far easier to simply find a replacement part from my spares and let the escaped part have its temporary freedom.

I say temporary because, come the next morning when I open up my shop for the day, I will walk in and find - laying right out in the open on the floor - in a place where you would step on it if you walked anywhere near that area - will be the missing part. In clear view, obvious as hell, right in the middle of the floor.

I am not the only one to notice this. I have had two other people work for me that have experienced this same mystery many, many times. It would almost be a game when I opened up the shop in the morning to see what missing part was laying in the floor as if it had been there all along.

After a while, I started to imagine that I could hear the returning parts laughing at me, their tiny mirthful voices mocking me in my irritation.

But soon I realized that the faint laughter was not coming from the parts, but from underneath the workbench. I have since determined that I must have some "shop gremlins" living under there who play these tricks on me, to their own tireless amusement. If it is a part they already have enough of, the thow in back out on the floor during the night. If it is something they need or want, it vanishes forever to that bottomless cubbyhole where lost objects go to retire.

I have never seen the thieving little bastards, but I know they are there.

Oh, yes, I know they are there.

[dzero]

Is is possible that sometimes they're just bored and want to play?

I have these tiny pills that I break in half. I popped one half in my mouth but the other one got caught on a piece of skin as I put it down and bounced to the floor. It easily could have hid under the couch but it didn't. I picked it up and it once again "escaped" but landed in plain site. It seemed more playful than malicious. Or is this just a way of lulling (lolling?) me into a false sense of confidence?