Childhood is false imprisonment

[Three Packs a Day]

When a person is young, they believe anything, respect anything (and anyone), obey anyone, etc. because they don't know better. And the worst part is, there are million of adults out there who take advantage of this.

For example, when we were kids we all respected and obeyed every "grown-up" (gag) we knew, whether it be teachers, parents, etc. Then you get older and realize how stupid those people were, and resent them (and all others like them, past and present) for allowing and encouraging you to do that, just because you were too young to know better.

The statutory raping of minds, if you ask me.

Or is it just me?

[Inner Stickler]

Yes.

[Jenaroph]

For example, when we were kids we all respected and obeyed every "grown-up" (gag) we knew, whether it be teachers, parents, etc. Then you get older and realize how stupid those people were, and resent them (and all others like them, past and present) for allowing and encouraging you to do that, just because you were too young to know better.


Wait till you get even older. Someday you'll realize how much they really did know all along.

[Inner Stickler]

I don't care what it is, if you're going through 3 packs of it a day, you're not going to ever be that much older.

[Cat Whisperer]

It never occurred to me to resent all the adults in my life from when I was a kid. Huh.

[Babale]

I can totally picture the OP, as a little kid, standing on a soap box (literally) on a street corner, shouting to the passing kids (Who are all waiting for the red light to turn green) "This is just another way THE MAN is holding us down! Why would you need to look both ways before crossing the street? Everyone knows cars have to stop when they see a kid crossing!"

It never occurred to me to resent all the adults in my life from when I was a kid. Huh.
That's because THEY already got to you!

[Meyer6]

It never occurred to me to resent all the adults in my life from when I was a kid. Huh.

Yeah, I think that if you resent all the adults in your life 'and all others like them, past and present', there's a chance the problem is with you, not society.

[Frank]

I don't care what it is, if you're going through 3 packs of it a day, you're not going to ever be that much older.
Gosh, I wish you'd told me that 40 years ago.

[Lord Feldon]

Oh well.

[Oakminster]

How many of these stupid fucking threads are you going to start? This is at least the third one I've seen, all full of " WAAAA! Poor little emo loser me" drivel.

Get over it already.

[Max the Immortal]

How many of these stupid fucking threads are you going to start? This is at least the third one I've seen, all full of " WAAAA! Poor little emo loser me" drivel.

Get over it already.

He won't last. In the meantime, it's kinda fun to mess with him.

[Cat Whisperer]

Funnily enough, if he really is a young man, he has NO concept of The Man holding him down - 40 years ago when I was a kid, they really did believe kids should be seen and not heard. Now, *that* was some Grade A oppression, man!

[crowmanyclouds]

Bonk! Bonk! On the head! Bonk! Bonk! Kill the Gr'ups!

CMC fnord!

[Three Packs a Day]

Holy crap check out this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=646170

I couldn't have put it better myself.

[Foggy]

I don't care what it is, ...
Bacon!

if you're going through 3 packs of it a day, you're not going to ever be that much older.
Don't care, It's Bacon!





:p

[The Second Stone]

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."
-- Mark Twain

I seem to remember a longer version of this, but as it is, it still fits the bill.

[Guinastasia]

I think we should be asking him what just what is IN those three packs a day? ;)

[Autolycus]

Rufio, you're alive!

[Shakes]

Up your dosage to four packs a day.

Please.

[Biggirl]

Set the little bastards free, I say. Release them from their bonds. I'll start.

[Biggirl]

Report from the Children's Liberation Front: The little bastards refuse freedom. In fact, Johnny is outside the door right now crying for his oppressor to let him back in. Mommy sure knows how to infuse that Stockholm Syndrome.

[saoirse]

Shut up and get in the car.

[Shakes]

Report from the Children's Liberation Front: The little bastards refuse freedom. In fact, Johnny is outside the door right now crying for his oppressor to let him back in. Mommy sure knows how to infuse that Stockholm Syndrome.


Ha! Now that's some funny damn shit right there. :D

[gamerunknown]

Worse still, the government is depriving them of their second amendment rights.

Vive la révolution! Arm the children!

[John DiFool]

I don't care what it is, if you're going through 3 packs of it a day, you're not going to ever be that much older.

He's not long for this board either. Raving meltdown coming in 5-4-3-2-1...

[kanicbird]

It's there to show you the way of God. Even when we are adults and see what you stated in the OP we are usually still spiritually young. We will follow and respect any demon, any spiritual authority figure (such a a pastor, news commentator, head of a terrorist group or a political leader), we will even support them and do their work getting involved in their campaigns.

As we mature spiritually we see that they don't have good intentions and were not worth putting our faith in and start looking within.

The reason why God makes it so clear and obvious in our physical world when we are children, is because that's our state in the spiritual world and we are taken advantage of just as much as physical children are in our world. It realizing it in the small step of a physical child that allows us to see it in the bigger picture.

So that false imprisonment is nothing but a lesson taught to us by God, without it many will never realize that they are still imprisoned in other peoples ideals.

[Leaffan]

I kinda liked my parents, the adults and authority figures in my life when I was a kid. In fact, I couldn't wait to grow up and become one of them.

I have been assimilated.

[tomndebb]

I couldn't have put it better myself.Nor have you.

[tomndebb]

Sometimes I think that we should stop having kids read J.D. Salinger in high school. One shot of Catcher in the Rye and so many kids lose their imagination trying to turn themselves into Holden. (I thought he was a twit when I read it at 14.) It depresses me to see so many kids think that following his manufactured angst is significant of something or another. There are so many more imaginative ways to experience teenage angst.

[tdn]

Bonk! Bonk! On the head! Bonk! Bonk! Kill the Gr'ups!

No more bla bla bla!

Or didn't you get the memo?

[Mosier]

It's there to show you the way of God. Even when we are adults and see what you stated in the OP we are usually still spiritually young. We will follow and respect any demon, any spiritual authority figure (such a a pastor, news commentator, head of a terrorist group or a political leader), we will even support them and do their work getting involved in their campaigns.

As we mature spiritually we see that they don't have good intentions and were not worth putting our faith in and start looking within.

The reason why God makes it so clear and obvious in our physical world when we are children, is because that's our state in the spiritual world and we are taken advantage of just as much as physical children are in our world. It realizing it in the small step of a physical child that allows us to see it in the bigger picture.

So that false imprisonment is nothing but a lesson taught to us by God, without it many will never realize that they are still imprisoned in other peoples ideals.

You are a giant dork.

[Eve]

Hell, I still resent all the adults in my life ordering me around and telling me what to do, and I'm in my fifties.

[Wheelz]

Dude, it's OK to participate in threads that you didn't start. Get your feet wet before jumping in head-first and people will tend to take you more seriously around here.

[Darth Panda]

I, for one, welcome our new parental overlords.

[Latro]

Dude, it's OK to participate in threads that you didn't start. Get your feet wet before jumping in head-first and people will tend to take you more seriously around here.

I don't think I've ever started a thread here.

But then I'm not here to ask questions.

[Hal Briston]

I love that moment when you read a thread title and are immediately hit by a vision of perfect psychic clarity: "This person has a join date of this month!"

[digs]

It's there to show you the way of God...snip...
So that false imprisonment is nothing but a lesson taught to us by God, without it many will never realize that they are still imprisoned in other peoples ideals.

Wait... this was serious? I thought it was a too-far-over-the-top-to-be-funny parody.
As an ex-youth pastor, I'd like to point out that if we find any parents who believe this, we mock them ceaselessly. To their faces.

Granted, there were some genuine insights in there, but buried by sanctimonious twaddle.
I'm just glad you didn't post "that false imprisonment is nothing but a lesson taught to us by God" in the Faith-Based Molestation (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=645763) thread.

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

No, he's serious. Pretty much all his posts are like that.

[Autolycus]

Isn't he great :)

[Czarcasm]

How many of these stupid fucking threads are you going to start? This is at least the third one I've seen, all full of " WAAAA! Poor little emo loser me" drivel.

Get over it already.It's worse than that-between 7:05 pm and 11:16 pm(PST) he started 13 threads. Poster child for Attention Deficit Dis........Look! A puppy!!

[Latro]

Isn't he great :)

I thought Kanick was a she-bird.

[Polycarp]

Ageist

[runner pat]

Dude, it's OK to participate in threads that you didn't start. Get your feet wet before jumping in head-first and people will tend to take you more seriously around here.

I don't think this one will ever be taken seriously.

[Vinyl Turnip]

No, he's serious. Pretty much all his posts are like that.

Always entertaining watching unfamiliar posters go through the Seven Stages of Kanicbird.

[Meyer6]

The reason why God makes it so clear and obvious in our physical world when we are children, is because that's our state in the spiritual world and we are taken advantage of just as much as physical children are in our world. It realizing it in the small step of a physical child that allows us to see it in the bigger picture.

God gives parents children so that they can take advantage of them? I thought god gave people kids so that they could experience the miracle of birth and the joys of the traditional god-fearing family unit and all. But actually he just want the children to be lied to and abused so that they learn not to trust anyone?

Huh. I know they say that god works in mysterious ways, but that is a lot more mysterious than I was expecting.

[kanicbird]

Wait... this was serious? I thought it was a too-far-over-the-top-to-be-funny parody.
As an ex-youth pastor, I'd like to point out that if we find any parents who believe this, we mock them ceaselessly. To their faces.

Yes I am serious, God does speak though His creation, and it also shows the mercy of God in that we can be imprisoned, such as in our childhood, or our spiritual childhood, without knowing it till we are capable of doing something about it. We need the discernment to know when to support and when to oppose and when to get out. Not to depend on the leader, but God within us.

Jesus was also mocked to His face by the Pharisees and said if you do my work you will be accused of all the things He was.

[Lute Skywatcher]

Anyone else reminded of etabbaneb?

[Lynn Bodoni]

Sometimes I think that we should stop having kids read J.D. Salinger in high school. One shot of Catcher in the Rye and so many kids lose their imagination trying to turn themselves into Holden. (I thought he was a twit when I read it at 14.) It depresses me to see so many kids think that following his manufactured angst is significant of something or another. There are so many more imaginative ways to experience teenage angst. Well, if you read it again today...

You'll probably STILL think that Holden was a twit. Only now you will have a deeper appreciation of just how big a twit he was.

[Czarcasm]

Jesus was also mocked to His face by the Pharisees and said if you do my work you will be accused of all the things He was.[obligatory response]They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.[/obligatory response]

[Malacandra]

They laughed when Czarcasm said he was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now!

[Tom Tildrum]

I think we should be asking him what just what is IN those three packs a day? ;)

Three packs a day of birth control pills. That's why he's so hormonal.

[mkecane]

They laughed when Czarcasm said he was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now!

Ha! :p

[Czarcasm]

They laughed when Czarcasm said he was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now!Damn straight! That's why they call me "The Edward R. Murrow of Comedy".

[Darth Panda]

Damn straight! That's why they call me "The Edward R. Murrow of Comedy".

Wel, at least you haven't sunk down to "The Dennis Miller of Comedy."

[Malacandra]

Damn straight!

How dare you judge me for my sexual preferences!

[Czarcasm]

How dare you judge me for my sexual preferences!If you have preferences, you might not be all that straight.

[Great Antibob]

nm

[Rigamarole]

I don't care what it is, if you're going through 3 packs of it a day, you're not going to ever be that much older.

What if it's condoms?

[Crab Rangoon]

When a person is young, they believe anything, respect anything (and anyone), obey anyone, etc. because they don't know better. And the worst part is, there are million of adults out there who take advantage of this.

For example, when we were kids we all respected and obeyed every "grown-up" (gag) we knew, whether it be teachers, parents, etc. Then you get older and realize how stupid those people were, and resent them (and all others like them, past and present) for allowing and encouraging you to do that, just because you were too young to know better.

The statutory raping of minds, if you ask me.

Or is it just me?

You know - you may JUST have a point here. Maybe if we let all the kids grow up together without all the destructive adult involvement, say on a remote island somewhere, they would be able to really grow into liberated self-actualized people.

People who are free to practice pushing around weaker kids and breaking their glasses, idolizing dead pig-heads and even murdering those that do not agree with your rule.

I say - let's give this a shot - it really is an original idea.

[Cat Whisperer]

God gives parents children so that they can take advantage of them? I thought god gave people kids so that they could experience the miracle of birth and the joys of the traditional god-fearing family unit and all. But actually he just want the children to be lied to and abused so that they learn not to trust anyone?

Huh. I know they say that god works in mysterious ways, but that is a lot more mysterious than I was expecting.I thought God gave people children so they could change the channel and go to the store for them. That was back in the 70's, though. I don't know what God gives people children for now.

<snip>
Jesus was also mocked to His face by the Pharisees and said if you do my work you will be accused of all the things He was.So, you're Jesus now?

[saoirse]

<snip>
Jesus was also mocked to His face by the Pharisees and said if you do my work you will be accused of all the things He was.

So, you're Jesus now?

You know who else was mocked to his face?

[Cat Whisperer]

[QUOTE=Cat Whisperer;14907937]
[quote]
<snip>
Jesus was also mocked to His face by the Pharisees and said if you do my work you will be accused of all the things He was.

You know who else was mocked to his face?

People who mess up coding? :D

[Vinyl Turnip]

They laughed when Czarcasm said he was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now!

That's very good. Original?

[Rhythmdvl]

1) Kanicbird often expresses a very unusual theological outlook, but it's not all that much more wackadoodle than other religion's perspectives. Wackadoodle is wackadoodle. It's kind of the "buy the premise buy the bit" kind of thing. If some sky fairy can raise the dead, part a sea, or make a killer pasta, then pretty much all bets are off.

2) Kanicbird is much more than a one-trick pony. We've had religious posters like that. Yes, he frequently injects his fairly peculiar theological outlook into otherwise godless threads, but it's far from omnipresent. There are other posters (typically with an economic/political bent) that tend to make many more irrelevant (to the thread) posts on their favourite topic.

3) It's time to let the Dudeling out of the Basement of Woe.

[SpoilerVirgin]

When I was a child and very much interested in and supportive of the political activism of the day, I really did want to start a kids liberation movement. My main grievance was that I was not allowed to check out certain books from the library because they were considered too mature for me. I argued that if I would be able to read the books then, I ought to be able to read them now. I remember that my father was not very sympathetic to the argument, although he did admire the attempt. Eventually I concluded that kids lib was doomed to failure, since as soon as they developed any power, the activists would stop being kids.

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

That's very good. Original?

I've seen it (in first person) attributed to... Bob Somebody? Dangit, I don't have the quote book with me right now.
When come back, bring cite, I suppose.

[BigT]

They laughed when Czarcasm said he was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now!

Man, if only that wasn't an insult against someone else, I'd ask to use that as my signature.

[Czarcasm]

Man, if only that wasn't an insult against someone else, I'd ask to use that as my signature.Go for it. :D

[Biggirl]

People who are free to practice pushing around weaker kids and breaking their glasses, idolizing dead pig-heads and even murdering those that do not agree with your rule.

I say - let's give this a shot - it really is an original idea.

Damn. Now I'm hungry for lechon asado AND Chinese food.

[gamerunknown]

Bob Saget?

[Tom Tildrum]

My main grievance was that I was not allowed to check out certain books from the library because they were considered too mature for me.

This reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Milhouse is thrilled because he and some other kids were going to sneak into an R-rated movie: "We're going to see 'Barton Fink'!" :cool:

[Voyager]

I thought God gave people children so they could change the channel and go to the store for them. That was back in the 70's, though. I don't know what God gives people children for now.

What She's always given children for - the aggravation.

[Boyo Jim]

I agree with the OP. All parents should be immediately imprisoned after the birth of their first child, leaving the child free to... well, starve to death I guess. But they would be FREE!

[Punoqllads]

God gives people children as punishment for breaking the Fifth Commandment.

[Meyer6]

I thought God gave people children so they could change the channel and go to the store for them. That was back in the 70's, though. I don't know what God gives people children for now.

Well that's certainly what my parents used me for, but I'm always hearing about how miraculous and joyous having kids is meant to be, so I assumed that would be the angle religious people would try to sell.

Although having seen some birth videos I've got to say it didn't look particularly joyous to me.

[Malacandra]

Damn. Now I'm hungry for lechon asado AND Chinese food.

You know, I honestly read that as "Damn. Now I'm hungry for lesbian action..." :eek:

Man, if only that wasn't an insult against someone else, I'd ask to use that as my signature.

Fine by me too - as hinted above, it's not original (I can manage original or funny, not both).

[kaylasdad99]

Huh. I know they say that god works in mysterious ways, but that is a lot more mysterious than I was expecting.
Just so you know, I'm stealin' this. I'm sure it 'll come in handy.

[Yllaria]

Funnily enough, if he really is a young man, he has NO concept of The Man holding him down - 40 years ago when I was a kid, they really did believe kids should be seen and not heard. Now, *that* was some Grade A oppression, man!

Not to mention "spare the rod and spoil the child."

Hmmm. If there's an addressable complaint in the OP, what would be the cure? Biggirl suggested setting them free. Crab Rangoon suggested an island. I considered locking mine in a closet once, long ago. But the problem isn't in the adults, it's in the children.

Children come with their brains largely empty. So empty that if you tickle their little foot, they can't figure out where that sensation is coming from. And though they do absorb a terrific amount of information about the world around them by the formation and testing of hypotheses (see recent web article about child development and artificial intellegence experts teaming up - the google can probably find it), they also seem to come wired with the instruction to identify a family/clan and mimic clan members, especially the ones that other clan members are listening to.

Believing what the clan believes, taking on the protective coloration of those beliefs, fools the clan into thinking that the child, though weak and unproductive, is one of them. That's it! The OP has it backwards!

In our society, adults are not brainwashing children.* Children are actively mimicing adults as part of their own agenda. They are fraudulently absorbing the time and resources of the adults by tricking them into thinking that they are smaller versions of the adults. Then when the adults are no longer needed, they drop their childhood coloration and show themselves to be mouthy adolescent cucoos. I see it all, now. I've been defrauded.

Except, of course, that adolescents turn into adults - at least most of the time. So it may not be a complete fraud. Still, it makes me wish I had kept receipts. Because if children are defrauding us, the only way to address that is to enact laws requiring them to repay the cost of their keep. And without receipts, I'm not in a position to benefit from any such laws.

I did my bit to free my own children's minds by lying to them outrageously. I wasn't quite as good at it as the guy who convinced his children that when the TV put up the message PLEASE STAND BY, it meant that someone had to go stand by the TV and put one hand on it and one hand in the air while they tried to re-establish the connection.

Yup. Once they've twigged to a few whoppers like that, they're compelled to wonder in what other ways have the adults around them misused their childish trust.

* Barring cases where they actually do.

[rogerbox]

There really are people with idiotic parents, you know. And the vast majority of adults are not nearly as competent as we imagine as children. Heaven forbid the old folk around here take a dose of medicine like a grownup, though. :D

[Punoqllads]

I've seen it (in first person) attributed to... Bob Somebody? Dangit, I don't have the quote book with me right now.
When come back, bring cite, I suppose.Bob Monkhouse.

[iftheresaway]

God gives people children as punishment for breaking the Fifth Commandment.

I'm not going to admit how long I spent wondering what refusing to testify so as to avoid incriminating oneself had to do with having kids.

[Morgyn]

Bonk! Bonk! On the head! Bonk! Bonk! Kill the Gr'ups!

CMC fnord!I love you, and I would like to jump your bones. :D

Damnit, no one recognizes that line when I say it to them. No one.

[Princhester]

I thought God gave people children so they could change the channel and go to the store for them.

To buy packs. Three times a day.

[Leaffan]

I love you, and I would like to jump your bones. :D

Damnit, no one recognizes that line when I say it to them. No one.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure a lot of people here know where that's from.

[SticksAndString]

Well that's certainly what my parents used me for, but I'm always hearing about how miraculous and joyous having kids is meant to be, so I assumed that would be the angle religious people would try to sell.

Although having seen some birth videos I've got to say it didn't look particularly joyous to me.

Clearly you've only seen birthing videos of people who are brave enough or crazy enough to do it without drugs.

I *loved* my labor/delivery experience...they hooked me up with the epidural and the Hubs and I watched Star Trek movies while I laid there. I kept poking my leg and going "OMG I CAN"T FEEL MY LEG! This is so *awesome*!":p

Also...on having kids: "We didn't ask God for..specific things. We said, "God..please give us a healthy child." When you leave that much OPEN for GOD, a great number of jokes are going to come about."--Bill Cosby

[outlierrn]

And the vast majority of adults are not nearly as competent as we imagine as children.

Or as they imagine themselves

[Malacandra]

Bob Monkhouse.

And he may not have originated it - didn't he call himself "the thief of bad gags"?

[curlcoat]

I love you, and I would like to jump your bones. :D

Damnit, no one recognizes that line when I say it to them. No one.

Obviously, the children should be set free so they can watch Star Trek re-runs.

[Kamino Neko]

I'm not going to admit how long I spent wondering what refusing to testify so as to avoid incriminating oneself had to do with having kids.

I'm still trying to figure out how they're a reasonable punishment for murder!

[tim duncan]

While OP does come off as bitter, he has a point that there are some adults out there like this. My 2nd grade teacher comes to mind. The notion that all adults are in cohorts to exploit the fragile little minds of the young is astonishingly stupid, however.

[Darth Panda]

God gives people children as punishment for breaking the Fifth Commandment.

Is that the one about not incriminating yourself?

[Punoqllads]

I'm still trying to figure out how they're a reasonable punishment for murder!
Oh, you big silly (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Commandments#Two_texts_with_numbering_schemes).