What Do I Do With All These Bibs?

[Zjestika]

I'm having a baby in 3 weeks (give or take). Yay! I've had 2 showers and now I have a lot, like a lot of teeny, cute bibs. What are they for? They seem too small to be used when baby is old enough to sit in a high chair and dribble mashed carrots down her front. Am I supposed to use them when I breastfeed? Like, seriously, get a bib out every time? Or is it to be a spit-up catcher of some sort, and how do I know when that will be needed? I also have lots of onsies that I don't feel too vigilant about protecting, so I'm not sure why I need another layer of laundry.

They seem sort of bizarre. I was considering returning them, but they say important things like "Daddy loves me" and "Mommy's little sweetie," things we might forget unless they're on the front of the baby.

[Lynn Bodoni]

You will go through several bibs a day. Seriously. You'll be glad that you have a good stock of them when you didn't manage to do laundry yesterday and the baby is spitting up again.

[Northern Piper]

I used to call the Cub "Beau Brummell" because he went through 5 or 10 outfits a day. He was a very spitty little guy.

[SuperAbe]

First you'll go through 3-4 of these every day for the inevitable "sloppy burps" as your new little one gets used to the concept of keeping what they ate in their stomach. Just about the time they (mostly) master that skill, you'll need them for the drool-faucets that start in the weeks before and during tooth eruption.

Drool volume is one of those things that new parents are completely shocked by - "how can this little human produce so much drool?". :)

[Zjestika]

So they're just a wardrobe element, like a baby necktie? Good to know. These are the kinds of things that no one tells expecting parents. I guess it's not as much fun as telling us that we'll never sleep again.

[flodnak]

Bibs are definitely one of those things whose purpose will, in the fullness of time, become clear to you. It's easier to change bibs than to change the whole outfit. Also, they take up less room in the washing machine.

[kaylasdad99]

Oh, you haven't finished with them yet. From the thread title, I had formed the impression that your child had already outgrown them.

When that does happen, make a quilt out of them.

[Crab Rangoon]

I also have lots of onsies that I don't feel too vigilant about protecting, so I'm not sure why I need another layer of laundry.

The onesies are for an extra layer for warmth (I guess it depends on your climate) and from my point of view - makes the changing of top layers easier. My daughter wasn't too overly messy (not much puking/diarrhea), but the onesie was nice to have as an extra layer of "protection" shall we say.

[Crab Rangoon]

When that does happen, make a quilt out of them.

I was going to suggest that too - I made a quilt from my daughter's old baby dresses - it's so sweet to cover her up with her old baby clothes at night - and she'll have it forever.

[WhyNot]

Some babies are droolier than others. I swear, my son didn't stop drooling until he was nearly 3.

My daughter hardly ever wore bibs; just not much of a drooler, and she refused solid food until 13 months or so. At that point, I discovered flexible yet rigid plastic "bibs", which are waterproof and provide a dropped food catcher at the bottom (http://www.thegreenhead.com/2008/06/baby-bjorn-soft-bib-scoop-catches-mess.php). Those things rocked.

[Jophiel]

You may not be worried about the fashion integrity of your onesies but, when the baby spits up or goes into drool mode, it's a lot faster and easier to change a bib. When our little guy started drooling, you'd think we dunked him in the fish tank for how wet his chest would be without some protection. Then you're worried about it getting cold or rashes.

[Zjestika]

The onesies are for an extra layer for warmth (I guess it depends on your climate) and from my point of view - makes the changing of top layers easier. My daughter wasn't too overly messy (not much puking/diarrhea), but the onesie was nice to have as an extra layer of "protection" shall we say.

Oh, I thought the onesies were clothes for just wearing- so they're like a bottom layer? Oh, god, I have no idea how to dress my baby.

[Crab Rangoon]

Oh, I thought the onesies were clothes for just wearing- so they're like a bottom layer? Oh, god, I have no idea how to dress my baby.

It's OK - whatever you decide works for you is what will be fine. I live in the frozen north - so extra layers was what is was all about for us. Honestly, there are so many things that people will tell you that you "need" for babies - but most of it is a sinister marketing ploy. For example, you do NOT need a diaper genie (I'm sure other moms will say the exact opposite).

You'll figure it out as you go. This is the part where "life long learning" shifts into high gear.

[WhyNot]

Oh, I thought the onesies were clothes for just wearing- so they're like a bottom layer? Oh, god, I have no idea how to dress my baby.

You'll be fine. Onesies are nice simple light clothing if you're in the right climate for it.

Babies don't need to be bundled up like little stuffed sausages; most moms overdress them. A baby needs one layer more than you do, that's all. So if you're wishing you could take off your shirt 'cause it's sticking to you, then a baby is just fine in a Onesie with nothing else. If you're comfy in a tee and shorts, then a onesie underneath a tee and shorts should be good for the baby. Or a Onesie with a blanket wrapped around the baby. If you feel good in long sleeves and long pants, then the baby would like the same, with a Onesie underneath and socks on her feet and maybe a hat.

You can tell a baby's cold if her hands and feet feel cold. Don't go by color - some newborns have bluish hands and feet even if they're not cold. If they feel cold, add another layer. If they don't feel cold, don't overbundle them.

Onesies are a really easy "extra layer", but they can certainly be used alone if it's warm. Just remember that sunscreen is not approved for babies under 6 months old, and they do burn. You'll have to keep the skin covered in the sun, either with long dark sleeves (which can get hot) or by using a canopy (http://mary.emmens.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/tent.jpg)or deeply shady area to play in or a blanket draped over the stroller (http://nessaleebaby.blogspot.com/2011/08/celebs-their-strollers-selma-blair.html) if you're walking.

[Scarlett67]

The OP amused me; I'm not a parent and I spend very little time in the company of babies or children, but even I know that an infant will go through approximately five thousand bibs a day.

[salinqmind]

And for heavens sake, on a sunny or cold windy day, put a HAT on them! A light baby bonnet for girls or cap for boys in the sun. I hate to see a baby with a little bald head being pushed in a stroller in the wind and cold while its mom yaks obliviously on her cell phone.

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

Oh, I thought the onesies were clothes for just wearing- so they're like a bottom layer? Oh, god, I have no idea how to dress my baby.

Onesies were my kids clothes lots of times. We didn't use them as a layer. They were perfect for inside, warm days, sleeping in etc.

[Sattua]

Phlosphr started a thread when his sprog was three months old, absolutely sure the kid was teething because he was drooling so much. Urrr, no. That's just now they are for a while. That's what the bibs are for.

[Lacunae Matata]

Onesies were my kids clothes lots of times. We didn't use them as a layer. They were perfect for inside, warm days, sleeping in etc.

Ditto. Here in sunny south Georgia, we've already flirted with 90 degrees F, so onesies are frequently considered an outer layer. Sometimes, in the house, a diaper is "fully dressed," unless we've hit the major drooling stage: then it's a diaper and a bib.

[jkirkman]

Oh, I thought the onesies were clothes for just wearing- so they're like a bottom layer? Oh, god, I have no idea how to dress my baby.

You will.

There are about 7 billion people on the planet, and none of them came with an instruction manual or a dressing guide.

They all lived.

You'll find what works for you, in your house, and in your routine, and in your house, with your child.

No worries.

If anyone has a problem with your choices, tell them you think they might be right, but, to be absolutely sure, you need to go to the beach for a week to contemplate, so they will take over for a week, right?

Relax, good luck, and don't worry about the small stuff.

Wait until s/he gets to high school....

--jack

(single father of preemie twins who learned a a lot about caring for two infants at once...)

[StuffLikeThatThere]

Oh, I thought the onesies were clothes for just wearing- so they're like a bottom layer? Oh, god, I have no idea how to dress my baby.

Relax. And don't listen to everybody who walks up to you on the street. Someone random will yell at you for not having a sweater on your baby, because can't you see he's COLD, and you'll put one on and feel guilty, and five minutes later someone else will walk up and yell at you for for having a sweater on the baby, because can't you see he's overheating? What is wrong with you, you horrible parent?

It seems you plan to love your baby and care whether or not he/she is well taken care of. So just nod and smile at the random people, and do what you think is best. :)

For what it's worth, I rarely used bibs on either of my kids. Neither one was much of a drooler or a spitter, and I didn't see the point of extra laundry, either.

[Jennyrosity]

I thought the exact same thing before my gorgeous girl came along almost 11 weeks ago.

She's currently not wearing a bib, as she's dribbled and thrown up on them all and they're all in the wash, and the front of her onesie is so wet I could wring it out. I get the point of bibs now!

[Lissla Lissar]

I actually hate onesies, because I hate having to pull clothes over my newborns' heads, and I hate even more having to take them back off when they're soaking or covered with poop.

I should get bibs for me. The babies manage to throw up down the front of my shirt about every other day. Bleh.

jkirkman, we've got slightly preemie twins, too! I wish sometimes for the manual, but I mostly wish for five extra pairs of hands, a maid, and a nanny. None of those things have appeared.

[Ellen Cherry]

My daughter drooled so much I called her Droolie Julie. My sons hardly at all.

[Zjestika]

Okay, I'm feeling better about my onesies and bibs. And good advice about the hats- I'd heard that babies don't need to be over bundled so I was wondering about all the little beanies that match summery outfits. For the sun! Of course!

I'm not a total moron- really! It just seems like there are so many little accessories! It's hard to know which ones are necessary (hats, bibs) and which ones are just for cute (I assume that pretty little shoes for a 3-month-old are just for cute).

[Zjestika]

Actually, since I have good advice at my disposal, there's a few things from my registry I'm considering buying that we didn't get.

Do I need:
tiny cotton mittens to keep her safe from her own fingers
nasal aspirator
changing pad
crib bumper (some people say not to use these)
spinning bottle dryer
pack 'n' play
swing

[iftheresaway]

I'm not a total moron- really! It just seems like there are so many little accessories! It's hard to know which ones are necessary (hats, bibs) and which ones are just for cute (I assume that pretty little shoes for a 3-month-old are just for cute).

Yeah, I'm 6 months pregnant and my "really I promise I'm not an idiot" moments seem to come a lot more frequently these days (witness my car seat (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=647660) thread). I'm glad you asked about the bibs because I'm sure I would have been wondering the same thing soon enough.

[eclectic wench]

Our kid wasn't a drooler, so we didn't use bibs except when she was eating (once she got old enough for solids, not when she was just nursing). If your kid is a drooler, you need a million of them.

You don't know yet whether you need the tiny cotton mittens. Some babies are scratchers. Some aren't. If you keep her nails short (bite them. Seriously) you should be fine. We never needed the mittens.

We have the boogersucker. A couple of times, when she had a really hideous cold, it was the only thing that unstuffed her enough that she could nurse and that any of us could get any sleep. On the downside, she acted like we were torturing her.

Yeah, go for some kind of changing pad. Sometimes you start changing them and they explode shite in every direction, and you want it to be on something wipe-clean.

We have an Airwrap mesh cot bumper. http://www.tllc.com.au/airwrap/ Completely breathable, but keeps her from getting her feet stuck or dumping her soother out of the cot every ten seconds.

I don't know what a spinning bottle dryer or a pack 'n' play are, but we did OK without them. We didn't have a swing, either, but I know some people swear by them.

[Lacunae Matata]

I don't claim any expertise, but with six kids, I surely have lots of practice...

With my two youngest, I've used the pack&play instead of a crib. It's handy throughout the house, and for travel. If you already have a crib, and no big travel plans, I wouldn't bother.

Changing pad and aspirator are also necessities, IMHO. Mittens? Maybe, but I just used the little nightgowns with the flap that flips over scratchy little nails. I also have nail clippers with an attached magnifying glass - I think the brand is Safety First, but others may also make them. Handy as all get out! (If you can bite the baby's nails, that's easier. I can't because of lousy tooth alignment.)

And my only "seems maybe unnecessary but I wouldn't survive without it" piece of equipment: the baby swing. The one I'm using cost about $125, which seemed like too much two years ago (gift from great grandmother) but holy jeez it has been welcome! Music, white noise, battery or electric, one-hand reclining - and cheaper than therapy on days when you just need ten. Freaking. Minutes. (To cook dinner or use the bathroom or just rest your arms and shoulders.)

[Sattua]

tiny cotton mittens to keep her safe from her own fingers: we never used them but she did scratch her face sometimes
nasal aspirator: yes, get a Nosefrida
changing pad: we use specially-allocated hand towels
crib bumper (some people say not to use these): probably not; start without, if your kid begins to get arms and legs caught between the slats get a Breathable Bumper
spinning bottle dryer: huh? we air dry ours
pack 'n' play: yes. playpen and travel crib.
swing: maybe or maybe not, your baby might or might not like it

[Eliahna]

My daughter drooled so much I called her Droolie Julie. My sons hardly at all.


I called mine Droolia and Droolio :)


Actually, since I have good advice at my disposal, there's a few things from my registry I'm considering buying that we didn't get.

Do I need:
tiny cotton mittens to keep her safe from her own fingers
nasal aspirator
changing pad
crib bumper (some people say not to use these)
spinning bottle dryer
pack 'n' play
swing

Check the onesies to see if there's a flap to fold over and cover hands - built in mittens! IME, socks can double as mittens, but mittens can't double as socks.

Nasal aspirator can be handy.

A change pad can be useful, I wouldn't give mine up, but a towel or similar can be used if you don't want to buy a single purpose thing.

Crib bumpers are linked to crib death. I wouldn't use one.

Never used the next two items on the list

A swing can be a great thing to have.

And the tiny bibs that started the thread... I hate them. We have a huge pile and they hardly got used. I'd rather use larger bibs the whole way through.

[Zjestika]

I was thinking of getting a Nosefrida, so now I will for sure. I'll skip the mittens for now, getting a changing pad, still thinking about the swing and pack 'n' play. I'll probably get a breathable bumper because the crib just looks naked without it.

iftheresaway, I'm glad I'm not the only one. Here's another I-promise-I'm-not-a-moron things: I just recently read about packing an outfit to have the baby wear home. I was so proud of having packed my bag already but I neglected that important item. I'm really glad my mom, a neo-natal nurse, is going to be here.

ETA: I'd heard about the bumpers being linked to SIDS, but I'm pretty sure the breathable ones are ok. Hey, while we're talking about SIDS, what about sleeping with pacifiers? Worth a try? It seems counter-intuitive to me but they're supposed to help prevent SIDS.

[Manda JO]

Do you mean a changing pad like this (http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Contoured-Changing-Pad/dp/B001U9OUYC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1333843805&sr=8-1)? We have one, and I really like it. We don't have a changing table: we left the guest bed in what is now the nursery and this is on the bed. It's nice to have a dedicated changing place, and a cover that's easy to remove and wash (get 2) and an undersurface that is easy to wipe down.

The one stuffy nose we've had, we found the saline drops to really help more than the nasal aspirator. Our pediatrician recommended them.

We never used the mittens. There were some scratches, but they heal just tremendously quickly--almost before your eyes. We just trimmed his nails a lot.

I am pretty anti-bumper. It's not just the breathing/SIDS thing--I think it's good for kids to be able to look out and see the world. They need things to think about.

I'd get a swing if it's not a huge dent in your budget. There is a certain type of fussy that they swing is really good for: it seems to reset them.

My big advice on what to get in advance: EARPLUGS. The lack of consecutive sleep nearly drove me insane. My husband was totally game to take his turn with the baby, but every time the baby even moved I would wake up and either lay there tensely listening (will he go to sleep? Will he wake all the way up? Why isn't husband getting up? Do I need to wake him?) or, if the baby was then silent, I would get up to check his breathing. I turned into a complete and total basketcase and had a slow, terrible meltdown of a weekend. Finally, I put in earplugs and shut the bedroom door and let my husband sleep the night in the nursery with the baby. Six hours later I woke up sane. Exhausted, but sane. We kept that system up for about three months and it made all the difference in the world.

[Crab Rangoon]

The two big ticket items: the swing - it would be awesome to find a place that rents these - we went and bought one, then she would NOT relax in it - she was a kid that needed to be actively held at all times - thus the baby Bjorn was a lifesaver - the swing a complete waste of money.

The pack and play was awesome - we used it at home as the changing table - then when we traveled, it was her crib and changing table - so we did get our money's worth on that one.

So much of these items have to do totally on your baby's personality. Bouncy seat? No way Jose - Johnny Jump Up? Nope. Walker (the old kind that people say you should never use)? LOVED IT. (we don't have any stairs that she could have fallen down, though).

You might want to wait on purchasing some of this stuff - if you have a friend or place that you could try them out first - you could save some money and hassle.

OH - and the one thing I buy for every woman whose baby shower I attend - cloth diapers. Not to use as diapers, mind you, but for burp cloths, changing table liners, any place where you may need to mop up lots of wet yucky stuff - or protect something from the wet yucky stuff. I highly recommend a package - I still use them for cleaning around the house 9 years later.

[Girl From Mars]

Hey, while we're talking about SIDS, what about sleeping with pacifiers? Worth a try? It seems counter-intuitive to me but they're supposed to help prevent SIDS.

You may find your kid doesn't take a dummy - my first did (and it was wonderful, until we had to wean her off it at around 5 months as part of teaching her to self settle). #2 wouldn't take either of the 2 brands I offered her, so she's being taught to self settle without. Really important to get some good swaddle cloths (big ones) as this is really helpful in getting them to get off to sleep and roll over sleeps (each sleep cycle is around 20 min for a newborn up to around 45 for a 5 month old). Look into Dr Harvey Kapp's Happiest Baby on the Block for some great hints.

Don't know if you have sleeping bags on your list, but they are great - no wriggling out from under blankets in the winter and waking cold. My 2 1/2 year old still wears them.

And remember EBay - for the big things you only need for a couple of months. We bought and sold things like a baby bouncer and exersaucer from there, costing us basically nothing but letting us have them when they were needed.

Neither of my bubs were droolers by the way, so we didn't get much use out of bibs. But love the ones with the scoop for when they start eating, keeps clothing pretty much spotless (as well as the floors).

[kittenblue]

I would not have survived my children without a swing. And if my one grandson hadn't had the bouncer thing that hangs from a doorway, he would have driven his mother mad...that boy bounces constantly! He also had pyloric stenosis so he was spitting up constantly before the surgery, and still manages to spit up several times a day, plus the drool...and he isn't even teething yet! Bibs are his almost constant item of clothing...sometimes just a diaper and bib, sometimes on top of his onesie, which he lives in. Bibs are not just for meals!

[Zjestika]

Look into Dr Harvey Kapp's Happiest Baby on the Block for some great hints.

Don't know if you have sleeping bags on your list, but they are great - no wriggling out from under blankets in the winter and waking cold. My 2 1/2 year old still wears them.

I bought that book just a few days ago! I have a couple swaddling cloths, and my mom, the nurse, is a pro swaddler, so I'm looking forward to learning how to burrito my baby. And I have count 'em 3 Halo Sleepsacks (http://www.amazon.com/SleepSack-Cotton-Applique-Wearable-Blanket/dp/B004G8QN58/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1333848029&sr=8-1)- the only clothes items that I myself have purchased. I love the idea of a wearable blanket as a rule, and they were only $9 each (curse you, Zulily!).

I was just doing laundry and realized I only have one pair of infant socks. But they do have nubby grips on the bottom, so my 0-3 month old won't slip and fall.

[Eliahna]

I was thinking of getting a Nosefrida, so now I will for sure. I'll skip the mittens for now, getting a changing pad, still thinking about the swing and pack 'n' play. I'll probably get a breathable bumper because the crib just looks naked without it.


I'd really urge you to do your research before deciding to use a bumper (if you have already and this is your decision, then fair enough and feel free to ignore me). Even the breathable ones are not recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics (cite (http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/its-official-aap-says-no-crib-158888), cite (http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/127537/aap_declares_crib_bumpers_completely), cite (http://edition.cnn.com/2011/10/18/health/no-bumpers-cribs-sids-parenting/index.html?hpt=hp_c2)).

I have one because I couldn't get the bedding set I wanted without it, and I put it on the cot when I made it up before the baby was born (nesting). It looked gorgeous - they make the cot look "finished" - but I took it off before I ever put my baby in. When I weighed it in the balance, "looks nice" paled next to "can cause death".

Bumpers are a danger we're introducing to our kids for no good reason.

[/soapbox]

[StuffLikeThatThere]

I was just doing laundry and realized I only have one pair of infant socks. But they do have nubby grips on the bottom, so my 0-3 month old won't slip and fall.

You are cracking me up.

But you do probably want a lot more socks than that. (Tip: Clean ones double as mitts to keep baby from scratching. There's one thing off your list.) And I bought a whole bunch of plain white ones that were exactly the same. I know they're not as cute, but it saved time sorting. Right up there with the best baby advice that I got.

[Lynn Bodoni]

But you do probably want a lot more socks than that. (Tip: Clean ones double as mitts to keep baby from scratching. There's one thing off your list.) And I bought a whole bunch of plain white ones that were exactly the same. I know they're not as cute, but it saved time sorting. Right up there with the best baby advice that I got. This works for grownup socks, too. Two or three years ago, I bought my husband 3 dozen black socks and 1 dozen white ones, all the same. He's picky about his socks, and now all the older socks that aren't one of these two batches are rolled up and stuck in the "backup clothes" drawer. So nowadays, when he does his laundry, all he has to do is pick up one sock in each hand, and if the socks are the same color, then they are a pair.

[Zjestika]

I'd really urge you to do your research before deciding to use a bumper (if you have already and this is your decision, then fair enough and feel free to ignore me). Even the breathable ones are not recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics (cite (http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/its-official-aap-says-no-crib-158888), cite (http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/127537/aap_declares_crib_bumpers_completely), cite (http://edition.cnn.com/2011/10/18/health/no-bumpers-cribs-sids-parenting/index.html?hpt=hp_c2)).


Thank you, I am more than happy to reconsider. I don't want extra stuff.

I do want more socks, though. Those are cute and cheap and fun to buy so I'll have fun doing that.

[moejoe]

--I think it's good for kids to be able to look out and see the world. They need things to think about.



This made me smile. The idea of a tiny baby just hanging out in the crib, thinking about...stuff. I bet you're a really good mom.

[kjbrasda]

And for heavens sake, on a sunny or cold windy day, put a HAT on them! A light baby bonnet for girls or cap for boys in the sun. I hate to see a baby with a little bald head being pushed in a stroller in the wind and cold while its mom yaks obliviously on her cell phone.

TBF a lot of babies old enough to grasp and pull refuse to keep a hat on their heads. These are the ones that should have the canopy on the stroller pulled over them, really.
Reading this thread made me realize just how much stuff I don't have for the baby >_<. I think I'll go shopping Monday, pick up some onesies and socks at least.

[alice_in_wonderland]

About the only sleep I got when Junior was small was when he was in his swing - I say yes to that. The other stuff I had but never used - I think it really depends on what your little one likes.

Oh, and go buy more bibs. I think it's impossible to have too many.

[Nametag]

Never got much use out of the swing, but my boy loved his bounce chair -- the one from Fisher-Price with the removable toy bar. And bibs were good, the plastic ones with a pocket even better, once spoon-feeding got under way (for my son -- nothing could keep my daughter clean when she ate, except the dog (no, not her face, but she cackled with glee when she discovered he'd lick food from her hands)). Neither one was a huge drooler.

Second on cloth diapers as burp cloths. Second on trying things out to see what works for you; for instance, swaddling worked great on the boy, but the girl just wouldn't have it.

[flodnak]

I actually hate onesies, because I hate having to pull clothes over my newborns' heads, and I hate even more having to take them back off when they're soaking or covered with poop.Just a hint for parents who are using onesies: You can take them off in the other direction, too, at least if they're the kind with the overlapping shoulder flaps or snaps on the shoulder. Very handy for when there has been a diaper containment failure. It's a lot easier to get poop off their little legs than out of their hair....

A midwife told us before our older son was born that there are only three things you need for a baby: diapers, clothes, and a carseat. And in an emergency, you can use what you have for the first two.

[salinqmind]

The baby swing was worth its weight in gold! In gold! At today's prices!

We put our kid in an old fashioned baby walker (I don't know if they are approved of any more for safety reasons, but it was 25 years ago.) Baby enjoyed being mobile, except she'd wheel around in the kitchen and open up cupboards and the refrigerator and take stuff out. I didn't mind the old pots and pans, but I had to rig up ways with duct tape to keep the refrigerator door shut.

[Lissla Lissar]

I think I just hate having anything that doesn't unsnap. Wait- cancel that, because I hate snaps, too. I love zippers, especially at two in the morning. Snaps are hard to do with sleepless brain death.

I didn't get enough sleep last night. Sorry.


And I understand about not knowing what's going to work for you, because a lot of it is experiential- you won't know what you'll come to depend on until you actually have your baby. I felt blindsided by all the stuff, and the only thing I knew wasn't useful and was a frill was a wipe-warmer.

[Zjestika]

I'm so grateful for everyone's responses in this thread. Especially for helping me feel like it's okay that I don't know what I need or what to expect. I'm 37 weeks and everyone keeps saying "Oh, you must be so impatient for her to come out!" then they look at me like I grew another head when I assure them that I'm content with her staying where she is for at least 3 more weeks. I feel pretty good and I know exactly how to care for my little fetus. I'm not scared to have a real baby, but it's something I can wait for.

[delphica]

Oh, and for what it's worth ... if you received any cute baby outfits that came with a matching bib, and maybe you are thinking huh, that bib is very cute and maybe is supposed to be more of a fashion accessory ... well, I used all my bibs, even the cute ones, they went right into the regular bib pile. I figured what ELSE was I going to use them for?

[Girl From Mars]

I also swear by nightgowns, particularly for the first 3 months or so. No snaps or zippers to contend with for night nappy changes - I have a few Mokopuna merino gowns (http://mokopuna.com/newborn-1-year/sleep?cat) with elasticated hems which just slide up and down, super easy, plus I love merino on little kids, great for regulating temperature. I'm sure you could find similar ones in the US.

I also have some Merino Kids (http://www.merinokids.com.au/) duvet weight sleeping bags which is all we needed for winter here (I saw you only had cotton ones, which will get cold if you have a pee leak). Their cocooi wrap is the best thing for swaddling too.

[eclectic wench]

God, yes, Merino Kids sleeping bags. We're still using them (they have a toddler size) and I swear by them. Widget never gets sweaty in them the way she did in the ones with synthetic filling. I lent one to a friend who'd been using the cotton/synthetic ones, and she's turned totally evangelical about them.

[Eliahna]

Trying to think of things I use all the time, and I've finally remembered the nappy wallet (diaper wallet for you Americans).

For the majority of my trips out of the house I'm just going to the supermarket, or out for an hour or so running errands. Nappy (diaper) bag? Am I going to be gone a month? No thanks. I'll take the nappy wallet in my regular handbag. It holds a couple of disposable nappies, a changing sheet, and a small pack of wipes. What else could my (ok, breastfed - you might need a couple of extra things if you're formula feeding) baby possibly need that couldn't wait an hour?

Mine is from this site (http://www.trolleymonster.com.au/index.asp?lvl=0&cat=99), but I suspect the internet will give you more options and variations than you dream are possible if you fire up Google.

[Eliahna]

Singlets... do you guys call them that? The often-white undergarment that goes over baby's torso... vest? undershirt? Whatever. Anyway, the ones that button under the crotch are awesome because they don't ride up (sold here as singletsuits).

In singlets and singletsuits I bought only every second size. A 3-6 month singlet is baggy on a newborn but not excessively so, and not for long. Ditto a 9-12 month singlet on a 6 month old. The kids got a lot more wear out of them and I didn't have to replace them as often.

[Crab Rangoon]

When my husband and I were discharged from the hospital with our 2.5 day old daughter - we were pretty much feeling like: wait - what are you doing? You can't send us home with a baby! We don't know what we're doing!!!! This feeling lasted a few days - but gradually you calm down and gain some confidence that you will not immediately injure or destroy your baby.

They are actually pretty tough little buggers - and I gotta say the CUTEST part (IMHO) is after feeding, you sit the little tyke up on your knee, support her (or his) neck (they are just soo floppy when this young), and give a few back slaps to get a burp out. At least for us - the expression on her face was pretty funny - what the hell is happening to me????

[overlyverbose]

Random recommendation I would make: make sure you have 2-3 waterproof crib liners (the bed pad or whatever) and plenty of sheets. Make the crib with the crib liner, a sheet, another crib liner and another sheet. This is especially helpful when you have a baby prone to blowouts, creative pee trajectories or spitting up. When the first layer gets soiled, simply rip off the dirty sheet and crib liner and the crib is already made. This is especially useful in the middle of the night.

And a third for don't worry about the onesies. My daughter is the sweatiest kid on the planet; she used to sweat every time she ate, regardless of season. I can't tell you how many times I got a talking to from some random well-meaning stranger about my questionable habit of dressing my daughter only in onesies and socks as long as it was above 72. The poor girl would sweat through her clothes and scream bloody murder if I didn't! Maybe they should've talked to her instead. She would also shriek like a scalded cat if I dared put a hat on her.

[iftheresaway]

I'm so grateful for everyone's responses in this thread. Especially for helping me feel like it's okay that I don't know what I need or what to expect. I'm 37 weeks and everyone keeps saying "Oh, you must be so impatient for her to come out!" then they look at me like I grew another head when I assure them that I'm content with her staying where she is for at least 3 more weeks. I feel pretty good and I know exactly how to care for my little fetus. I'm not scared to have a real baby, but it's something I can wait for.

I'm not as far along as you, but this, absolutely. This baby is very much wanted (it took three miscarriages and three and a half years of trying to get to this point), and there have still been moments when I feel like "what have I gotten myself into?" I'm not necessarily scared to have a real baby either, but I have so little real-baby experience, and I know there are so many people who will have strong opinions on what we're doing with the little bugger - sometimes I want to barricade the door, and hubby and baby and I can muddle through on our own.

[Jennyrosity]

I'm not as far along as you, but this, absolutely. This baby is very much wanted (it took three miscarriages and three and a half years of trying to get to this point), and there have still been moments when I feel like "what have I gotten myself into?" I'm not necessarily scared to have a real baby either, but I have so little real-baby experience, and I know there are so many people who will have strong opinions on what we're doing with the little bugger - sometimes I want to barricade the door, and hubby and baby and I can muddle through on our own.

Do it! Seriously, once baby arrives you learn pretty quickly their little personalities and likes and dislikes, and you realise that no-one - your parents, his parents, people with a dozen kids, and definitely not the authors of the multitude of baby books - understands this particular baby they way you do, so you should feel free to ignore any and all advice they wish to give you.

I have adopted a policy of wilful ignorance by flatly refusing to read any baby books and my baby is thriving. She's happy, calm and contented most of the time, and so am I, as I am not driving myself demented trying to make her confirm to what the books say she "should" be doing. The doctor we saw for her 6 week check assumed she must be at least my third, as she didn't normally see first-time mothers as "confident and relaxed" as I am.

This advice, like all the rest, should be happily ignored of course! You and your baby will figure out what suits you both best.

I do agree with the recommendation for a nappy wallet though. Mine is from Melobaby, and it's brilliant, as it also contains, thanks to the cunning use of magnets, a soft, fleecy changing mat, and a small sealable purse that for wipes - plus room for 3 or nappies, a small tub of nappy rash cream, a travel size hand sanitizer, my cash card, travel pass, keys, and a lip balm, all in a bag no bigger than a small clutch. It's one of the best baby purchases I made.

[Ellen Cherry]

I guess a nappy wallet is a diaper bag? :) Cute.

[Jennyrosity]

Nope, a lot smaller and more convenient: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0028GEVG8?is=300&in=1

[BetsQ]

Singlets... do you guys call them that? The often-white undergarment that goes over baby's torso... vest? undershirt? Whatever. Anyway, the ones that button under the crotch are awesome because they don't ride up (sold here as singletsuits).

Pretty sure you mean what we refer to as onesies (http://www.amazon.com/Gerber-5-Pack-Onesies-Brand-Underwear/dp/B0012J4K5Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1333992295&sr=8-1), right? The only people who wear singlets (http://www.amazon.com/ASICS-Unrestrained-Wrestling-Singlet-Medium/dp/B0053YANJ6/ref=sr_1_2?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1333992355&sr=1-2) in the U.S. are wrestlers, as far as I know. Also, vests are generally outerwear items, like what Rick Santorum (http://www.google.com/search?q=rick+santorum+sweater+vest&hl=en&rlz=1C1AFAB_enUS463US463&prmd=imvnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=4huDT5yADoWDgAeJ6MD4Bw&ved=0CGAQsAQ&biw=1225&bih=790) wears on the campaign trail. I love all these language differences! "Singlet" sounds really funny to me as applied to an infant's wardrobe!

As for the OP, we didn't get much use out of our bibs until they started eating solids. We used them for meal times, not for drool.

[WhyNot]

I think there is a bare minimum that one should learn before the baby comes, but it's really, really basic stuff that's not hard to remember.

The very hardest one is, don't shake your baby. This is NOT one of those "do what works for you and the baby" things, because babies will laugh and giggle and really, really like it if you toss them around and shake them. But you can kill them, giggling all the while. Don't shake the baby.

Unless your doctor says otherwise, put the baby on her back to sleep, and don't put toys or blankets or crib bumpers or cloth books or stuffed animals or real animals or anything else in there. Babies don't have the same sense of oxygen deprivation we do while they're asleep, and they may not wake up to change position if something smothers them. SIDS has gone down over 80% since we started telling parents to put babies on their back to sleep and stopped putting Stuff in the crib.

Don't use a microwave to heat bottles. They heat unevenly, and the baby can be sucking just fine and then get a blast of really hot milk that burns her throat. Fill a pan 2/3 full of hot water from the tap, and put the bottle in it. Then go change the baby's diaper or sing her a song or whatever. 5 minutes later, the milk will be as warm as it needs to be. Give it a good shake and sprinkle a drop or two of milk on your inner wrist. You shouldn't feel it at all; that means it's not too hot. Totally old school method, but still the best one, IMHO. It's what we still use in the NICU at the hospital!

Don't leave your baby on top of anything and turn away. Not even for 2 seconds. Not even to answer the phone. This will be the time she learns how to roll, and takes a header off the bed/changing table/counter/etc. You'll get very good at remembering what you need to have with you so you don't have to leave. If you do forget something, take the baby with you to get it.

Don't leave the baby alone with pets. I know, it's a great dog and has never hurt anyone. Any animal that ever hurt a baby had a first time. It's just not fair to the baby or the animal or you to allow a situation to happen.

Other than that, there's not a lot of rules. Do what works, and enjoy your wee one!

[Zjestika]

Do the nappy wallets work with cloth diapers, too? I suppose I should buy some disposable ones for going out and use the cloth ones just around the house.

I've read about half of the Happiest Baby book and it's really giving me a more realistic idea of what the first 3 months will be like. Lots of swaddling and jiggling and breastfeeding. Ok, cool. I just hope that the breastfeeding helps me lose weight- I gained 3 pounds since my last midwife appointment 6 days ago, making my total weight gain 40 pounds. And I've been tracking my eating the whole time. My goal was 25 pounds- hah! I know, the true goal is to have a healthy baby and everything, but I haven't been overeating and I've been walking for an hour 4 times a week. None of the calories in/out logic applies to being pregnant, I guess.

Whynot, wrt to the pets, oh I'm a terrible person but I was really hoping my 18 year old cat would have peacefully gone to his kitty reward at this point. But he's a tenacious little beastie who's going to live forever and I have no idea what to expect from him with the baby. He and my MIL are neck and neck as my biggest stress sources. (I told my mother in law about my Braxton Hicks contractions and she told everyone I was going into preterm labor.)

[WhyNot]

Whynot, wrt to the pets, oh I'm a terrible person but I was really hoping my 18 year old cat would have peacefully gone to his kitty reward at this point. But he's a tenacious little beastie who's going to live forever and I have no idea what to expect from him with the baby. He and my MIL are neck and neck as my biggest stress sources. (I told my mother in law about my Braxton Hicks contractions and she told everyone I was going into preterm labor.)

You're not a terrible person*. He'll probably want to give her a thorough sniff-over, which is totally fine while you're sitting there watching. If he starts going, "grrrrrrr...." or looking aggressive, then you just pick up the baby and stand up and he's left at your feet feeling abandoned. He'll get over it. After the initial introduction, most cats ignore most babies, hoping that if they ignore it hard enough, it will go away.


*Now, if you were to give your tenacious beastie of a cat to your mother-in-law, you might be a terrible person! Unless she likes cats. Then you may have solved two problems in one! ;)

[Heart of Dorkness]

Whynot, wrt to the pets, oh I'm a terrible person but I was really hoping my 18 year old cat would have peacefully gone to his kitty reward at this point. But he's a tenacious little beastie who's going to live forever and I have no idea what to expect from him with the baby.

Yes, not a terrible person at all. Our 12-year-old cat has been awesome with our kid (now 1 1/2), but some of my previous cats would certainly not have been so patient with his full-contact style of love. We had to put one cranky old bastard to sleep while I was pregnant, and although I was devastated, in retrospect, I'm relieved he didn't have to deal with the huggy little monkey in his twilight years. I think the most important thing is, as Whynot says, that you don't leave them alone together. Unless you have a seriously aggressive cat, I think the risk is more that the baby will grab the cat, than that the cat will attack the baby unprovoked, but even a docile cat who feels threatened or trapped can be dangerous. So do make sure kitty has places to escape to (tall cat trees, etc.), especially once the baby starts rolling. And definitely don't let them sleep together. The cat is a smothering hazard for the baby, not because it 'steals its breath', but because it wants to cuddle with this warm, soft, little creature, especially its sweetly milk-smelling little face. But while I've known of a few people who had to get rid of an aggressive and/or territorial dog when they had a baby, I've haven't heard of folks having problems with cats. So here's hoping it goes okay!

[Girl From Mars]

Do the nappy wallets work with cloth diapers, too? I suppose I should buy some disposable ones for going out and use the cloth ones just around the house.
I cloth nappy our kids, and most nappy wallets will work OK - but depends on whether you are using cloth wipes too (generally these are too big). For quick trips I chuck a couple of nappies in a handbag, a wet bag (these are cute) (http://www.cottonbottom.com.au/on-sale/minilala-exclusive-print-wetbag-petal-1) for dirty ones, and a pencilcase sized bag containing a couple of cloth wipes (http://www.cottonbottom.com.au/Categories/wipes/ml-velour-wipes-1), a bottle of spray (although won't need this if you have access to water), a small tin of Badger baby balm and hand san.

Couple of other hints - if you are cloth nappying, remember to look at the contents of nappy creams, as anything with zinc oxide won't wash off your nappies and will cause leaks. We use the aforementioned balm, or papaya/pawpaw ointment (http://www.lucaspapaw.com.au/) both of which work well.

And if you have a cat, I'd really recommend a mesh tent (http://www.babyhood.com.au/accessories/nets/babyhood-cot-canopy-net-standard-size-660.html) for your cot/bassinette, not that cats intentionally seek out kids to sit on (my 4 generally steer clear of the baby), but when something's warm and milky smelling it could be a little too attractive. Peace of mind, plus it looks cute and doubles as an insect guard for warm weather.

(Sorry for all the Australian links, but figure once you know what you're looking for you might be able to find US suppliers).

[Sattua]

I wouldn't necessarily sweat the diaper bag issue at this point; I really think it's one of those things you may or may not need and you can't know ahead of time... unless you're taking the baby on all-day outings, of course

My baby has never had a blowout or a leak on quick trips. I change her before we go and we're always back before she needs a new diaper. When she was in the newborn blow-out stage, she was particularly sweet about having the blowout just as I had her buckled into her pumpkin carrier and was about to head out the door.

There is a stage at the beginning when taking the baby out seems terrifying because STUFF could HAPPEN and the baby could MAKE NOISE and then SOMETHING BAD would happen!!! And then you realize everything is manageable and you chillax. And then the kid turns into a toddler.

[Eliahna]

Pretty sure you mean what we refer to as onesies (http://www.amazon.com/Gerber-5-Pack-Onesies-Brand-Underwear/dp/B0012J4K5Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1333992295&sr=8-1), right? The only people who wear singlets (http://www.amazon.com/ASICS-Unrestrained-Wrestling-Singlet-Medium/dp/B0053YANJ6/ref=sr_1_2?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1333992355&sr=1-2) in the U.S. are wrestlers, as far as I know. Also, vests are generally outerwear items, like what Rick Santorum (http://www.google.com/search?q=rick+santorum+sweater+vest&hl=en&rlz=1C1AFAB_enUS463US463&prmd=imvnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=4huDT5yADoWDgAeJ6MD4Bw&ved=0CGAQsAQ&biw=1225&bih=790) wears on the campaign trail. I love all these language differences! "Singlet" sounds really funny to me as applied to an infant's wardrobe!

As for the OP, we didn't get much use out of our bibs until they started eating solids. We used them for meal times, not for drool.
Dammit, just when I start thinking I speak fluent American, something like this comes along. Yes, what you call onesies is at least similar to what I call singletsuits. I've been thinking your onesies are these (http://aladdiescave.com.au/images/uploads/Bonds%20Candy%20Stripe%20easysuit%20Coverall%201A.jpg) or these (http://www.bigw.com.au/baby/babywear/bodysuits/bpnBIGW_0000000124541/bonds-2-pack-wondersuit) (the latter is made out of a toweling-like material and is what my kids lived in at home until they didn't come in their sizes anymore). Underneath, they were always wearing a singletsuit/onesie or a singlet (http://www.bonds.com.au/baby/underwear/singlets-vests.html).

But I stand by my original point!

[Eliahna]

The very hardest one is, don't shake your baby. This is NOT one of those "do what works for you and the baby" things, because babies will laugh and giggle and really, really like it if you toss them around and shake them. But you can kill them, giggling all the while. Don't shake the baby.I hesitate to disagree with you because you're always right about everything, but what you've written contrasts with what I've been taught by my doctor and health nurse: it takes an act of violence to cause Shaken Baby Syndrome, you will not cause it though rough play.

The National Centre on Shaken Baby Syndrome in their FAQ has a section on rough play that says:
"The National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome fields numerous calls from anxious parents and care givers each week, wondering if everyday play activities can possibly cause shaken baby syndrome. [...] These callers are reassured once a staff member from the National Center explains SBS and the violence necessary to cause it.
[...]
Additionally the National Association of Medical Examiners Ad Hoc Committee on Shaken Baby Syndrome states:
...experts in many scientific fields have investigated whether such apparently innocent practices as tossing a baby into the air and other playful maneuvers might cause brain damage by a similar shaking mechanism. Currently, it is generally accepted that such playful practices do not result in injuries to the young child's brain. The type of shaking that is thought to result in significant brain injury involves holding the child by the thorax or an extremity and violently shaking the child back and forth, causing the head to forcefully whiplash forward and backward with repeated accelerations and decelerations in each direction. (Case et al., 2001)

Source: http://www.dontshake.org/sbs.php?topNavID=3&subNavID=21&navID=21#13

[Zjestika]

I hesitate to disagree with you because you're always right about everything, but what you've written contrasts with what I've been taught by my doctor and health nurse: it takes an act of violence to cause Shaken Baby Syndrome, you will not cause it though rough play.



This is my understanding too, and in the book I'm reading it says to jiggle the baby so the head bobs ever so slightly to emulate womb conditions. The head is supposed to stay in line with the body and the movements are fast and tiny. The book makes it seem like it's not something you could do accidentally, saying that Shaken Baby Syndrome is cause by something that any onlooker would recognize as a harmful way to handle a baby.

My husband likes to rock my baby bump side to side while I yell "Never shake a baby!"

Girl From Mars thanks for the ups on the diaper oinment. I have two tubes, Butt Paste and Weleda, and they both have zinc oxide! I never would have known! I love Badger stuff so I'll get some of that.

[elfkin477]

a singlet (http://www.bonds.com.au/baby/underwear/singlets-vests.html).
Wow. We'd call that a tank top (or "wife beater" if dirty and formerly white) and I've never seen them for infants before. Preschoolers yes, newborns no.

[WhyNot]

I hesitate to disagree with you because you're always right about everything, but what you've written contrasts with what I've been taught by my doctor and health nurse: it takes an act of violence to cause Shaken Baby Syndrome, you will not cause it though rough play.

The National Centre on Shaken Baby Syndrome in their FAQ has a section on rough play that says:

Not at all. I am quite happy to find that particular piece of scary advice can be stricken from my spiel. Thanks for letting me know. :)

[alice_in_wonderland]

Whynot, wrt to the pets, oh I'm a terrible person but I was really hoping my 18 year old cat would have peacefully gone to his kitty reward at this point. But he's a tenacious little beastie who's going to live forever and I have no idea what to expect from him with the baby. He and my MIL are neck and neck as my biggest stress sources. (I told my mother in law about my Braxton Hicks contractions and she told everyone I was going into preterm labor.)

FWIW, my 23 yo cat was wonderful when Junior was a newborn - I think Schatzi thought Junior was HIS baby. However, every cat is different so I would just watch carefully and don't leave them alone until baby is old enough to defend themselves.