Celebrities who should just disappear

[CJJ*]

If you had the power, what one current celebrity (only one, sorry) would you completely and perfectly banish from the entertainment industry? That would be no movies, songs, TV appearances, celebrity gossip, not even having their name mentioned in a public forum, just as though everyone suddenly forgot they existed.

I'll stipulate that the former celebrity wouldn't be harmed physically, legally, or financially (other than lost future revenue). This IMO would also limit the reasons for the banishment to ones that are entertainment-related. You may well want to punish Lindsay Lohan for her jewelry theft and DUI, but the courts are already handling that. This theoretical ostracism would be for her real crimes: Speak and Herbie: Fully Loaded.

I'll keep my pick to myself for awhile (he's a comedian turned non-lead TV actor), and also note that unless they state otherwise, SDMB posters (including myself) are not celebrities, so they aren't eligible.

[Zeldar]

Too easy: Pauly Shore.

[Gagundathar]

Kim Kardashian.
Do I need to elaborate?

[Nzinga, Seated]

I used to hate Puff Daddy with all my hate. But I like him now.

I hate Steve Harvey and Tyler Perry. Don't see that changing.

[snowthx]

Kim Kardashian.
Do I need to elaborate?

Seconded. What, exactly, does she "do"?

[Scumpup]

Ted Nugent
Rosie O'Donnell

[jz78817]

Anyone who became a "celebrity" by doing nothing more than being a "socialite." e.g. the aforementioned kardashians.

[Clothahump]

I would have said damn near all of them, but you did limit it to one only. And that makes it really hard to choose.

I'm torn between the Kardashians and Adam Sandler. Coin toss says....Sandler.

[well he's back]

Sandler, Lohan, Hiltons (Paris or Perez), Kardashians, Mel Gibson, Patricia Heaton, Tom Cruise - sorry I just can't choose.

[Sampiro]

Geraldo Rivera. There's no shortage of annoying, vapid, narcissistic, attention whoring celebrities, but he's one of the few who actively harms people (Satanic Panic, giving troop positions in Iraq, the "that guy lives there" stunt in Afghanistan this week, etc.).

[Bob Ducca]

Claude Rains.

[Anamorphic]

Too easy: Pauly Shore.Hasn't he effectively already done so?

[Zeldar]

Hasn't he effectively already done so?

Maybe. I just want to be sure he's not in view.

ETA: It appears he's still clogging up projectors somewhere: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001736/

[It's Not Rocket Surgery!]

Jessica Simpson. She's tried it all (acting, singing, reality shows) and showed no talent in any of them. Yet she's a mainstay on the covers of supermarket checkout magazines. Buh-bye.

[Anamorphic]

Claude Rains.I see what you did there. Wait, now I don't!

[YogSosoth]

Mel Gibson comes to mind. Shallow celebrity debutantes are annoying but harmless. Mel's anti-Semitic and has a lot of power and influence

[Nzinga, Seated]

Jessica Simpson. She's tried it all (acting, singing, reality shows) and showed no talent in any of them. Yet she's a mainstay on the covers of supermarket checkout magazines. Buh-bye.

She makes cute shoes.

[MLS]

Oprah

[Nars Glinley]

Donald Trump.

[DianaG]

She makes cute shoes.
Yup. So does Fergie, damn her to hell.

[gazpacho]

Kim Kardashian.
Do I need to elaborate?Kim and the like would be a lot less in the public eye if people stopped bitching about how much they are in the public eye. The vast majority of my exposure to these sorts of celebrities is people complaining about them.

[detop]

Jenny McCarthy

[Typo Negative]

Lady Gaga



or David Caruso

[FairyChatMom]

Nancy Grace. The world would be a much more pleasant place if she were abducted by aliens and transported to the nearest black hole.

[Lancia]

Sean Hannity

[SaharaTea]

Without a doubt, Donald Trump. I used to think he was amusing and even enjoyed the first season of The Apprentice. Now he's just a loudmouthed a-hole.

[Invisible Chimp]

Nancy Grace. The world would be a much more pleasant place if she were abducted by aliens and transported to the nearest black hole.

This was my first answer. Since she's already taken, I'll go with Dr. Phil.

[silenus]

If I can't make them publically explode, I'm not really interested.

[Nzinga, Seated]

Yup. So does Fergie, damn her to hell.

Word? I will check that out. I will check that out. Damn her to hell.

[sandra_nz]

Many celebrities are harmless, if not annoying. But my beef is with the media that puts them in the magazines and the idiots who buy those magazines.

[D_Odds]

It's so hard to pick just one. As much as I despise Nancy Grace, she was pretty funny playing herself (with no exaggeration, sadly) in Raising Hope. But if I had to pick one talentless actor who should never have had a career (or a wife) like he's had, it would be Jerry O'Connell. The man is barely talented enough to stuff grocery bags, yet he's had a long and fairly successful Hollywood career. That he married Rebecca Romjin is just the icing on the cake.

[Atreyu]

Jenny McCarthy

My first answer. She's the only active celebrity I can think off-hand whose discredited efforts have likely caused actual harm to large numbers of individuals, and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

[well he's back]

wait - I made my decision - Rush Limbaugh

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

This wasn't, for me, nearly as difficult as I might have thought:

Andrew Dice Clay.

I can't think of any performer I despise more.


mmm

[florez]

Meg Ryan

[Sampiro]

She makes cute shoes.

But only if you leave the materials out, stay in your room, and don't watch. Interrupt her even once and she'll stop coming.

[well he's back]

dang - I've changed my mind again. Now I vote Jenny McCarthy cause her anti-vaccine craziness is actually harmful.

[Eugene of Sandwich]

Chelsea Handler. Marry a surgeon fergodsakes.

[longhair75]

Rush Limbaugh

[mcgato]

A few years back, a friend was working on a web start-up that was a news site. It didn't have original content, but it linked to other news sites' content so that a person could theoretically get all sides of a story. He sent me link to a beta version and asked for suggestions. My main suggestion was an option to block news about certain people. That way I would never see news about Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Mike Tyson, etc. I did have a request for exceptions, such as death notice or sex tape. Sadly they did not incorporate my suggestion.

[Antigen]

Ryan Seacrest.

I have an irrational visceral hatred of Ryan Seacrest.

I think the world will end before 2013, now that Dick Clark is gone, because having Ryan Seacrest do the countdown will open the black hole predicted by the Maya prophecy, destroying us all.

[River Hippie]

Many consider her a politician but she's a celeb to me...Sarah Palin.

[GuanoLad]

Louie Spence. Grown men that behave like 12 year old girls irritate the hell out of me.

[BigT]

Chelsea Handler. Marry a surgeon fergodsakes.

This is the only person mentioned who I actually mind if she disappeared. I don't understand why people hate the asshole comedian type only if they are female. Same goes for Kathy Griffin haters.

But I want to come up with someone new, anyways. It's hard to come up with someone who is both an asshole and doesn't do even remotely good work and who isn't already pretty much washed up. I'd go with Dave Letterman, but apparently a lot of people actually think he's funny, and at least he's never hurt anyone. So I'll go with his even more evil counterpart:

Jay Leno. And, to think, 10 years ago, I thought I'd never dislike him.

[gotpasswords]

Dr. Oz may have been a fine cardiologist, but ever since Oprah gave him a bully pulpit, he's gone far off the deep end promoting faith healing and other pseudo-science woo-woo. Then there was the apple juice thing where the FDA gave him a smackdown, and every so often, he throws he vitamin industry into a tizzy by touting some weird extract or micronutrient.

[supergirl123]

Pippa Middleton and her non-existant bottom.

[MPB in Salt Lake]

Oprah

Dr. Oz may have been a fine cardiologist, but ever since Oprah gave him a bully pulpit, he's gone far off the deep end promoting faith healing and other pseudo-science woo-woo. Then there was the apple juice thing where the FDA gave him a smackdown, and every so often, he throws he vitamin industry into a tizzy by touting some weird extract or micronutrient.

Dr. Phil is worse than both of these two narcissistic, hypocritical assholes put together....

[CJJ*]

OP checking back. I'm fine with the choices, but wish I had limited it further to celebrities who are generally assumed to have talent beyond just being rich & famous (Kim Kardashian is way too easy) and excluded political figures (ditto Sarah Palin).

My choice is Aziz Ansari (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aziz_Ansari). This guy is not funny in any form I can observe, and has gone with "deliberately annoying idiot" as his signature character trait for the roles he plays. That mugging American Express (http://www.channelapa.com/2012/04/aziz-ansari-in-american-express-commercial.html) commerical was the last straw. Better to end this now than let him become the comedy atrocity he's destined to be.

[TreacherousCretin]

I see what you did there. Wait, now I don't!

Well played.

[needscoffee]

Angelina Jolie.

[Mahaloth]

Dr. Oz may have been a fine cardiologist, but ever since Oprah gave him a bully pulpit, he's gone far off the deep end promoting faith healing and other pseudo-science woo-woo. Then there was the apple juice thing where the FDA gave him a smackdown, and every so often, he throws he vitamin industry into a tizzy by touting some weird extract or micronutrient.

He even praised John Edward, the psychic. Ridiculous. (http://www.tvguide.com/News/Dr-Oz-Says-1030667.aspx)

[brickbacon]

Ryan Seacrest.

I have an irrational visceral hatred of Ryan Seacrest.

Seconded. Not to mention that you can thank Ryan Seacrest for the Kardashians as he is the executive producer of their show(s).

[coolbyrne]

Jennifer Aniston. Find a Brad Pitt lookalike, have a baby and go away.

[phxjcc]

Woody Allen

[luv2draw]

Oprah

I second it!. Although it's been really nice since she's off network TV.

[Gatopescado]

Jack Black

[ioioio]

Tori Spelling. Her continued existence does nothing except waste our planet's dwindling resources.

[salinqmind]

Dr. Oz is turning into Kevin Trudeau. I admit I generally am entertained by Dr. Oz, but there's always a list of things you are expected to run out to buy - blueberries! green tea! exotic vitamins and supplements! - if you want to live to be 120 years old. Dr. Oz: people eat organic vegetarian diets from year one and STILL get sick no matter how much green tea or acai berry juice they pound down.

I nominate every starlet who gets knocked up and, as per 9 out of 10 AO Smell headlines, 'flaunts her baby bump, wearing stilettoes and a skimpy bikini'.

[Son of a Rich]

I want to make a preemptive strike on the insurance commercial mascots before they get a chance to become real celebs. Flo, the fucker in the white jump suit and red hard hat, Dennis Haybert, the guy with the vanishing deductible (Nationwide), well, to hell with all of them.

[Enright3]

Anyone who became a "celebrity" by doing nothing more than being a "socialite." e.g. the aforementioned kardashians.

ahh yes; if only there was a rule that faux-lebrities could not exist.

Also, regarding Pauly Shore; why bother making him go away? He's kind of already gone without the SDMB magical powers to make a celebrity disappear. He's in a special safe house along with Kato Kaelin, Jesse Camp, Andy Dick; and too many more to mention (although that might be a fun thread).

[Son of a Rich]

ahh yes; if only there was a rule that faux-lebrities could not exist.

Also, regarding Pauly Shore; why bother making him go away? He's kind of already gone without the SDMB magical powers to make a celebrity disappear. He's in a special safe house along with Kato Kaelin, Jesse Camp, Andy Dick; and too many more to mention (although that might be a fun thread).

Fun thread? Sounds more like the next shitty reality show. :(

[QuarkChild]

Can we make all the celebrities with the last names of Palin, Kardashian, Simpson (all three of the them), Hilton and Middleton go away?

If not, I would settle for Jenny McCarthy, for reasons stated by other posters.

[jebert]

Richard Simmons. I couldn't stand him from the very first time I saw him.

[pojimba]

Another vote for Dr. Phil