So what IS the correct answer to "Do these pants make my butt look big?"

[Idle Thoughts]

Inquiring minds want to know.

[The Universe Lashes Out]

I always give an honest answer. I've never seen a pair of pants that make anyone's butt look bigger or smaller. The most dangerous territory I've ventured into is "Do you like my new haircut?" Because that can make a big difference. But yeah, if I don't like her new haircut, I'll tell her so. Ideally, if we are a couple, she is trying to look good for me, right? So giving her anything other than my honest answer would be self-defeating. But this may be part of my whole "not understanding women" thing. Oh well.

[Maastricht]

A very useful sentence is: "Those pants don't do much for you" . I use it all the time in the fitting booths when going shopping with friends.

[Isamu]

So what IS the correct answer to "Do these pants make my butt look big?"

Looking at you in those pants make my pants feel uncomfortably smaller. :p

[Sudden Kestrel]

Inquiring minds want to know.

"What butt?" or if it's someone you don't like, "Which butt?"

[Smapti]

I always assumed the correct answer was "Hell yeah they do!", but then I'm of the Sir Mix-a-Lot school of gluteal desireability.

[Derleth]

The correct answer is to never get into a relationship where answering that question honestly is going to be a problem.

[Malacandra]

"No, your food/exercise balance does that."

And then the fight started...

[Der Trihs]

"'Do the pants make your butt look big? No."

[sandra_nz]

"I don't think that's the most flattering cut for your shape."

[iftheresaway]

Slightly more serious answer if your lady friend is not considerate enough to explicitly tell you if she's looking for reassurance or advice:

If you've been around her for a while, you'll start to notice her dressing pattern. Basically, does she try on lots of outfits, or wear the first one or two things she sees? Figure out if she's still in the process of getting dressed, or basically done. If the former and you don't like the pants, say something like "I think the black slacks would look better." if the latter, as long as the pants aren't crazy terrible, tell her she looks great.

[Renee]

Do women really ask this question, or is just some sitcom stereotype? I have a mirror, I know how the pants make my ass look.

[don't ask]

Just bite down on the cyanide capsule.

[Loach]

It's a trap!

[Chefguy]

Lard ass! Lard ass! Lard ass!

Compared to what?

Enough with the bread, already.

I'll put it this way: if you ever have to haul ass, you're gonna have to make two trips.

[Sicks Ate]

No, your butt makes the pants look small.

ETA amusing anecdote: Current g/f went out and bought some new jeans. She had worn one pair for half a day, and she noticed that they had stretched quit a bit, and ended up being a little big in the waist and butt. When she showed me I, without thinking, thought it would be funny to say "Well for the love of God don't grow in to them!" I'm really glad that didn't go over as poorly as it could have.

[Scumpup]

No, it's the fat that makes your ass look big.

[Count Blucher]

Hmmm. Ok, turn around... Hmmm. Now take the pants off and turn around.

Then, of course the trick is to...


... grab the pants and whack them against the wall viciously while proclaiming loudly, "Bad Pants! Bad...! Bad...!"

You know, I think they've learned their lesson...

[Czarcasm]

"Your hair looks great! What have you done with it?"

[NoClueBoy]

"Bend over!"

[Aspidistra]

"No, It's the doughnuts that do that"

[TriPolar]

<grab at chest>
<slump to ground>
<feeble voice>
Call 911...
<lose conciousness>

[AClockworkMelon]

Never mind.

[jtgain]

The correct answer to that question is ALWAYS "no." I don't care if you are waiting for the Fire Department to come with torches to cut away the dressing booth because her fat ass can't fit through it.

[Telperion]

These aren't the pants you're looking for.

[Rhiannon8404]

I would like to state for the record that I have never asked Suburban Plankton if any pants made my butt look big. Nor have I asked, "Does this make me look fat?"

Do women really ask their SO's these questions? If they do, I'm guessing those types of women only want to hear, "No dear, they make you look perfect."

[andrew.]

I could live to be a thousand and never understand why if the answer was genuinely 'yes' that would be a bad thing. The bigger that part of a woman is the better as far as I'm concerned.

And it might sound a little cold, but if a girl I was with ever seriously asked me that question and got mad at however I answered I'd feel pretty bad for her. This question's always felt to me like a kind of cliche thing where the girl isn't really offended or upset, she just thinks that she should be. Similar to being in a store with your girl and you're checking out another girl for a couple seconds, and she gets jealous. It's never felt genuine to me, and I've always just thought 'I doubt you really give a shit, I'm sure you're just acting jealous because you think you're supposed to be'. And I'm not picking on girls, it would work the same in reverse if it was her checking out another guy.

[jtgain]

I could live to be a thousand and never understand why if the answer was genuinely 'yes' that would be a bad thing. The bigger that part of a woman is the better as far as I'm concerned.


From my learning, women are EXTREMELY sensitive about their weight. I don't care if a woman weighs 100 pounds soaking wet. If she goes up to 105, she feels like an elephant. So the question is not one designed to elicit an honest response, but one to help ease her insecurity about her weight. She wants you to say "no". She is not asking for a GQ answer.

[Colibri]

The correct answer is to never get into a relationship where answering that question honestly is going to be a problem.

But I'm heterosexual!

[johnpost]

"it is smaller than it used to be"

[XT]

"Oh yeah they do! Why do you think I've got my coat in my lap right now??"

Or...

I always assumed the correct answer was "Hell yeah they do!", but then I'm of the Sir Mix-a-Lot school of gluteal desireability.

-XT

[Chronos]

Assuming that the garment in question genuinely looks less than flattering on her, I think I would answer something like "I think that other pair of pants looks better on you". Or possibly "That garment really doesn't do you justice". Which answers the question honestly, if that's what is desired, and also serves as a compliment, if that's what's desired.

Granted, I'm sure there are still women out there who would find offense at either of those answers. But such a woman would be one I would not be interested in pursuing a relationship with, anyway, so it works out.

[Rachellelogram]

The only answer is to find a better girlfriend.

[BrotherCadfael]

There is only one possible response (http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff300/fv00211.htm).

[Mahaloth]

There was a comedian in the early 90's or so that said he'd tried many answers to the question, "Do I look fat in this?" So far, the worst answer he found was:


"Not as fat as your mother."

[Shodan]

If I like the pants:

"No, they are very flattering!"

If I don't like the pants:

"What top will you wear with them?" Then, no matter what she says:

"No, that wouldn't be as good. You need a longer pant leg."

Disclaimer: I don't actually know anything about cuts or fits or anything else, but I can fake it convincingly to be distracting.

If I don't care about the pants:

"No, not particularly. Do you like them?"

If I am tired of following her around carrying her purse:

"I don't know. I will at the bookstore when you're done."

Regards,
Shodan

[Wesley Clark]

Why do they ask 'does this make my butt look big'? You should ask 'does this make my butt look nice'? A bigger but can be nicer looking than a smaller one.

[jtgain]

Why do they ask 'does this make my butt look big'? You should ask 'does this make my butt look nice'? A bigger but can be nicer looking than a smaller one.

See above post. Unless women look like a Nazi concentration camp survivor, they feel fat and worthless.

[Ulfreida]

There are two answers.

If you are a man, the unstated question is: am I still desirable/loved by you?

As long as women are judged as worthy of being permitted to draw breath based on their desirability, often translated as thinness, the above will apply. Any time you want to get over your self-congratulatory complacent misunderstanding of this, you go ahead.

'Hell yeah" is a fine answer.

If you are a woman, the answer is, "I think you could do better."

[Quasimodem]

"Why are you even asking? Don't we love each other unconditionally?"

Quasi

[cornflakes]

"You say that like it's a bad thing." seems like a perfectly acceptable response.

[Satellite^Guy]

"No, the pants have nothing to do with it."

[Imago]

If you're looking for a serious answer, whenever my girlfriends ask me that, depending on the girl, I say: "I love you too much to tell" or: "I'm too turned on to tell."

I'm a woman though, so YMMV.

[Ludovic]

"it is smaller than it used to be"
That's what SHE said!

[Maserschmidt]

Actually, your butt makes those pants look fantastic.

[The Second Stone]

"You're coming on to me, aren't you? Well I'm up for a go."

[TokyoBayer]

I went shopping with a girl friend and her friend one day. (It was still early in the relationship, and I was young, so I'd do anything to spend more time with her.)


The friend was looking for a dress, and it came down to two choices. They asked my opinion, and since I didn't have any skin in the game, I gave my frank advice. When questioned, I honestly answered that the white one make her look flat chested. The look from the two of them was priceless.

[monstro]

When people are decrying big butts, what dimension are they talking about? The X axis? Or the Z axis?

[CalMeacham]

"Not big enough!"

[MsWhatsit]

Any answer implying that the questionee finds the questioner to be unspeakably sexy is probably a good one.

[Ethilrist]

I attempt to deflect the question by directing them to this discussion (http://www.graspingforobjectivity.com/2009/03/mom-jeans-and-dreaded-long-butt.html) of the "long butt" optical illusion. Then I run.

[glee]

If you don't like the person: "No your fat butt looks big in everything" :smack:

If you like the person: You look like Pippa Middleton (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/royal-wedding/8484342/Royal-wedding-Pippa-Middleton-shines-as-maid-of-honour.html) :D

[Mosier]

Scrubs has covered this issue, as I am coming to realize is true about most issues.

Dude, the only difference between a white girl and a black girl is that if a black girl asks you if her ass is big, you say hell yes!

[dbygawdcapn]

Those pants are half as big as they need to be.

[Hal Briston]

Just yesterday I had the following conversation:

Girlfriend: "Does this outfit make my butt look good?"
Me: "No...your butt makes that outfit look good."


+1 billion points for me.

[Gagundathar]

I used to reply "No, honey, your butt looks big when you are naked."
I am unmarried now.
<sigh>

[Nava]

Do women really ask this question, or is just some sitcom stereotype? I have a mirror, I know how the pants make my ass look.

My mother does. Well, she often aks the opposite: "do these pants make me look thinner?"

In moments of familiar exasperation, she's been known to get responses such as "no, and they are way too tight" (that one was from Dad); "ok, Mom, what makes your butt look fat is the accumulation of fat, it's got nothing to do with the pants" and "it makes you look equilibrated. You know, like your butt and your gut are about the same weight."

We seriously have no idea why the hell does she still ask, all we know is that it still gets on our nerves.

[Larry Mudd]

Any answer implying that the questionee finds the questioner to be unspeakably sexy is probably a good one.Yeah, my answer to this question yesterday was "I dunno... turn around. Now bend over... Hang on, still thinkin' about it... Give me a minute..."
:D

[Patty O'Furniture]

"Let's just say they don't hide it".

[Anne Neville]

See, I love this question, because it's an easy one. The answer is, "Of course not". I know that's the answer, and I don't have to think about whether the pants actually look good on the person or not, or what I think they want to hear. So many of these questions in relationships are hard, because I don't know the right answer. I'd generally rather answer a question about the theory of relativity. But this one, I know the answer to, and I don't even have to think about it.

I suspect that actually relying on me to give anyone any useful information about whether clothes fit them well is legal evidence of insanity in most states.

[Drunky Smurf]

"Look, Honey, you know you have a fat ass, I know you have a fat ass and the world knows you have a fat ass. Do you really need remineded of this fact? Now hurry up I want to get some pizza."

[Wheelz]

Well, in all seriousness, my wife has a big butt. She knows she has a big butt. I like her big butt, and I cannot lie.

Not long ago I was in the fitting room with her, helping her pick out some pants. You see, certain cuts, colors, fits, and so forth help give her a luciously bodacious badonkadonk. Others are, shall we say, not so flattering. She trusts my judgement about which is which.

So it is in fact possile to be asked that question, provide honest feedback, and not fear for one's life. ;)

[Clothahump]

Well, according to James P. Connolly, the correct answer is:

"Of course not! But those are some big damn pants."

[Arabella Flynn]

If she's shopping for new pants and genuinely looking for advice, be honest. Tell her the pants look good or the pants don't suit her -- leave the butt in question out of it. There is a pair of pants for every keister, but it may take a lot of looking to find them, and it really is kind of difficult to get a good look at your own backside, even in dressing room mirrors.

If she already owns the pants and is getting dressed for something, especially if she asks you more than once, she hates the pants (or her butt, or the way her butt looks in the pants, or the event you're going to, or her coworkers, or the price of tea in China, etc etc etc) and no matter what you'll answer, she's not going to change her mind. So in the interest of keeping yourself out of trouble, I'd try something like, "Gosh, honey, I've been staring at your butt all day, and it looks fine to me." She may throw something at you, but it's more likely to be the pants than, say, a vase. :D