Song lyrics you deliberately sing wrong

[Electric Warrior]

I have some songs where I sing the wrong words because it's funnier that way.

Mumford and Sons - Sigh No More. The actual lyric is "Man is a giddy thing", which I sing as "Man is a guinea pig".

Florence and the Machine - What the Water Gave Me, instead of "pockets full of stones" I sing "pockets full of scones".

I feel like there are probably some of these where a certain group of people has a modification to the lyrics, like singing "Root, root, root for the [insert your team name here]" in Take Me Out to the Ball Game - but probably more creative than that.

[Zsofia]

"Hold me closer, Tony Danza!"

[hogarth]

Whiskey you're the devil, you're leading me astray
Over hills and mountains and to a Mary Kay.

[Rhiannon8404]

Are you reeling in the years?
Stowin' away the time?
Are you gathering up the cheese?
Have you had enough wine?

[PacifistPorcupine]

Adele - "Rolling in the sheep" instead of "Rolling in the deep." I play a lot of Settlers of Catan.

[The Devil's Grandmother]

Smokey " ...if you feel like giving me a lifetime of servility, I second that emotion..."

[breezman]

"Don't cry for me Ike and Tina..."

[Maggie the Ocelot]

"I'll never dance with her mother (ewww!)
Since I saw her standing there."

[etv78]

"All you need is blah"

[Algher]

AC/DC

"And she was faking it with you"

[WhyNot]

I don't care what anyone says, it's "wrapped up like a douche."

[11811]

Billy Joel -- She's Got Oy Vey About Her

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

Johnny Cash singing NIN's 'Hurt'

"What have I become, my Swedish friend?"

[K364]

The Doors - "Come on Baby bite my wire..."

[Odaran09]

Anything that has been done Weird Al. I cannot hear the original without the parody version rattling around in my head. I usually end up singing the Al version loudly over the original one.

[Eve]

One-ton tomato!
I eat a one-ton tomato.
One-ton tomaaaaaatoooo . . .

[Taomist]

Anything that has been done Weird Al. I cannot hear the original without the parody version rattling around in my head. I usually end up singing the Al version loudly over the original one.


The recent car commercial with Gangster Paradise playing in the background is the ONLY time I have EVER heard the original song. Amish Paradise was what I heard first, and what I will hear forever, no matter what's actually playing. <3

[Taomist]

One-ton tomato!
I eat a one-ton tomato.
One-ton tomaaaaaatoooo . . .

One ton of mayo...
Why not eat one ton of mayo...

Also, when J Geils' Freeze Frame song came out, a Chicago station was big on parody songs, so when I hear it I sing "Faulklands!!" followed by sheep noises.

Same reason I think of firefighters when I hear Starship's "Jane". Poor Mayor Byrne; between that and Cabrini Green, she didn't stand a chance. :p

[pohjonen]

Other fellas call me up for a date
But I just sit and wait
I'd rather masturbate for Johnny Angel...

[Švejk]

"You are like a hurricane./
There's cum in your eyes"
--- Neil Young - Like a Hurricane

"Dye! Dye my hair!/
A darker shade of brown!
It's too light for me!"
--- Metallica - Creeping Death

There's a parody version of The Doors' Riders on the Storm, done by Bob Rivers, which is quite brilliant. It's called 'Burgers on the Grill' (youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DSeP3N4hg4)) and its lyrics in their entirety are better than the original.

[phxjcc]

Nancy Reagan: "Don't Cry for me Santa Barbara"

Smoke gets in your eyes...
They told me it was true
that baby sh!t was blue,
I did not know what they mean
I told them it was green
When smoke gets in your eyes.

Alphie:
What's that in your pool, Algae?

M Jackson: People, on the dance floor, really get it on...
People, with the bush dogs, really get it on

[Neidhart]

"We Three Kings":

Never grieving, still deceiving
Star of wonder, star of might
First star that I see tonight
I wish I may I wish I mi-ight
Have this wish I wish tonight

[Odesio]

Adele - "Rolling in the sheep" instead of "Rolling in the deep." I play a lot of Settlers of Catan.

Great, I won't be able to listen to the song the same way again.

Rolling in the sheeeeep!
I could really use a briiiiick!
Oh, no I need some wheeeeeat!
Does anyone, anyone have some wood for sheep?

[california jobcase]

Don't go out tonight, you're bound to lose your life- there's a bathroom on the right

Baby, you don't have to limp like a refugee

[medstar]

Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance", it comes out as "Bathrobe Dance".

[robardin]

Ever since I saw this parody of it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK7wW-qj2SY), I cannot hear Lady Gaga's song "Butterface" without thinking how much better the alternate lyrics are :)

[Aspidistra]

I rather like this one. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h47fNaOb-JU) Not that I ever hear Pokerface on the radio.

I prefer my own lyrics to "Fuel for thought" - the original is so incomprehensible after a time I didn't even try to figure out what she thought she was singing, and let my imagination roam free.

"Friends, you can cure the Ford
Now I'm no longer beautiful
But that's OK
I'm just lemonade
And other stupid love songs"

[Namkcalb]

I sing "girl" instead of "boy"

[Kimstu]

Just around the cornea (http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/l/letshaveanothercupofcoffee.shtml)
there's a rainbow in the eye;
This is called chromatic aberration,
this will be corrected by and by.


I also have a more or less inadvertent satanic version of the hymn "Of the Father's Love Begotten", born of back-to-back-double-Easter-services-induced exhaustion when I used to sing in a church choir, that is too offensive to repeat here. The lines "When the virgin full of grease/By the Holy Goat conceiving" will give you a flavor of it, though.

[Thudlow Boink]

AC/DC"She was a fax machine..."

[Patch]

Master of Puppets by Metallica. I keep singing it Master of Muppets.

[Shoeless]

Whenever I hear Tom Petty's "Rebel" I always sing "I was Barney Rubble".

[Phnord Prephect]

My Maserati does one eighty-four;
I lost my license, I don't drive no more.

And if you can't be
with the one you love, honey:
Spud the Wonder Whip

[sqweels]

Across the streams of hopes and dreams
Where chicks are really hot

[Balance]

"...a kiss from a rose on the grave."

The original lyric in Seal's "Kiss From a Rose" is "a kiss from a rose on the gray". I originally mondegreened it as "grave", and later decided that I preferred my version.

I also change the first two lines in the final verse of "The Dark Lady" (http://www.renaissancefestivalmusic.com/lyrics/2006/07/dark-lady.shtml) to

"And now late at night, when a storm fills the sky,
A lone ship can be seen, sailing in its eye."

That's a fairly large change from the original (as best I can tell), but it's much closer to the version I first heard from the Shantyman; the only change I made to that version is swapping "ghost" for "lone". It seems to me that it works better that way, and it saves "ghost" for the final chorus.

[Hazle Weatherfield]

I can't believe it's NOT "a kiss from a rose on a grave." I refuse to.

"Police nabbed my Dad," for Feliz Navidad. Every time.

[ThelmaLou]

"Children roasting on an open fire,
"Jack Frost nipping at their toes..."

[Uncle Brother Walker]

I knew a friend of a friend's sister who used to sing along to Metallica's "Shortest Straw".

But she used to sing "Soda Straw" and take sips from her soda can and make suggestive ..um... gestures with her mouth after singing.

Hell, she was cute but stupid, and I didn't want to correct her. Especially since we had a history.

[Barkis is Willin']

Rihanna: We found love in a homeless place.

Kings of Leon: Your spaceship's on fire

Metallica: Planetarium

[Dendarii Dame]

"But there's a warm wind blowing the stars around/And I'd really love to see you tonight..."


Far more obscurely, there's a novelty Christmas song sung in a Swedish accent called, "Oh, I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas". Anyone remember a Hanna-Barbera cartoon called Journey to the Center of the Earth? The villain was Swedish, and according to the narrator, had a "brute-like servant, Torg." So whenever we hear the song, my husband and I sing,
"Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas/With my brute-like servant, Torg..."

[limegreen]

My children have corrupted 'Secret Agent Man' into 'She's an Asian Man' which completely cracks me up now when I hear that song.

[limegreen]

"But there's a warm wind blowing the stars around/And I'd really love to see you tonight..."



WHAT:eek::smack: Those aren't the real words? I just googled it, and I've been singing it wrong all these years!!

[Eve]

One ton of mayo...
Why not eat one ton of mayo...
* shakes heads no *

One-ton tomaaaaato!
I eat a one-ton tomato!

All together, now! With guitars!

[Eve]

"Children roasting on an open fire,
"Jack Frost nipping at their toes..."
Oh, you just reminded me:

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we've no place to go,
Get a ho! Get a ho! Get a ho!

[Labrador Deceiver]

My children have corrupted 'Secret Agent Man' into 'She's an Asian Man' which completely cracks me up now when I hear that song.

I came here to post Secret Asian Man.

Thanks for that, Johnny Rivers.

[JKellyMap]

"Strangers in the night
Exchanging clothing..." --

[Wheelz]

Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get laid

[california jobcase]

one ton of metal
I need a one ton of metal

we thought the following was hilarious at thirteen:

strangers in the night
exchanging rubbers
this one is too tight
could be I'll find another

[Qadgop the Mercotan]

"Hold me closer, Tony Danza!"
"count the head lice on my hiney"

:)

[cjepson]

WHAT:eek::smack: Those aren't the real words? I just googled it, and I've been singing it wrong all these years!!

Me too!!!!!!!!!!!

My contribution:

Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I fuck no one and no one fucks with me

This is a little different from writing actual alternate lyrics, which I've done for a number of songs; some of them are even printable. Here's one:

I want a new god
One that treats me real well
One that won't make me feel all guilty
Or send me to hell
I want a new god
One that isn't too weird
One that doesn't have eighteen arms
Or a long white beard
One that won't make commandments
Telling me what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with youuuu...

[jackdavinci]

There's a bunch where I'll change the subject or object to the more personally appropriate gender.

I modified the lyrics of Indigo Girl's Rick n Roll Heavens Gate to be about my Dad's passing.

Mumford and Sons - Sigh No More.

It's "one foot in sea one on shore" but I always sing "one verdant sea, one on shore".

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

Oh, you just reminded me:

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we've no place to go,
Get a ho! Get a ho! Get a ho!

Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
But your thighs are so delightful,...

[VunderBob]

Heart's Heartless:

Heartless, hardass...

[Doug K.]

Later on, we'll perspire as we roast by the fire.
To face, so afraid, the bills left unpaid.
Walking in a winter wonderland.

[notfrommensa]

"Dirty Deeds, and they're done with Sheep"

[Sicks Ate]

I shouldn't admit this, but in 'Gimme Three Steps':

Wait a minute mister,
I didn't even fist her.

[Leaffan]

And be a Juice Box Hero got stars in his eyes.

ETA: Thanks to my son who thought those were the lyrics, since he'd never heard of a jukebox before.

[Hal Briston]

His name was Rico
He was a douchebag...

[sqweels]

Men Without Hats:
You can dance
You can dance
Everyone come in your pants

Paul Simon:
Who do...
Who do you think you're foolin'
I'm a constipated man

The Ganja Boat Song:
Work all night on a line of coke (daylight come mon me wan get stoned)
Been so long since I had a toke (daylight come mon me wan get stoned)

Come mista tally mon tally mary-juana
Come mista tally mon fill my boat with ganja
Load six bales, seven bales, eight bales, TON! (daylight come mon me wan get stoned)

[ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness]

strangers in the night
exchanging rubbers
this one is too tight
could be I'll find another
Don't forget the last lines...

This one is too loose
It could fit a MOOOOOOOOOSE!!

[VunderBob]

John Mellencamp: "I need a rubber that won't make me babies..."

Dr. Hook's Alice:

"24 years just waiting for a chance
To tell her how I feel and maybe get inside her pants
Now I gotta get used to not living next door to Alice"

[Súil Dubh]

Master of Puppets by Metallica. I keep singing it Master of Muppets.

I had a friend who used to sing it as "Pastor of Muppets".

He had a whole performance that he'd do for the song. He'd play air guitar along with the solos, make goofy faces, and replace random lines with his own.

The only one I remember specifically is when the "...laughing at my cries!" line came up, he'd shout out "BURGER, SHAKE, AND FRIES!".

Err... it was funny at the time.

[psycat90]

Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance", it comes out as "Bathrobe Dance".

Mine is also Gaga's Bad Romance.


I have to sing "I don't wanna be friends" as "I don't wanna be French" right before she sings a couple of verses in French.

[GreedySmurf]

Classic old version of AC/DC,

It's a long way to the shop if you want a Sausage Roll

[Emtar KronJonDerSohn]

Carry me my pelican
There'll be treats when you are done
Lay your weary arms to rest
don't you fly no more.

[Satellite^Guy]

Take me down to the Parasite City
Where the girls are green and the grass tastes shitty
Oh won't you please take me home, yeaaah

[gwendee]

Last night I slept with Scott Baio
(Madonna's La Isla Bonita)

[elfkin477]

Longwave "Satellites (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTwqHYAky3M)"

You're looking for ass
Looking for satellites across the great divine...

Slam "Lifetimes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3AcfIIBfg0)"

Girl you know I won't forget
All of those times we spent
No-one said that I'd last
And girl I won't forget your ass...


Listen to them and tell me that ass doesn't fit at least as well as the real lyrics

[Peanuthead]

Redbone's Come And Get Your Love ends with the repeated line:

Come and get your love, come and get your love, come and get your love now.

to which I sing:

Gotta take a leak, gotta take a leak, gotta take a leak now.

It fits perfectly. :D

[Hail Ants]

I think this one may be far from widespread but-

In the Rush song Freewill, instead of "path that's clear" I always sing (and hear):

♫ I will choose a bathysphere ♫

I know it makes absolutely no sense, but that's what my brain thought it heard way back when and it stuck!

[Chanteuse]

It's just a theme song, but I always sub in these lyrics to The Golden Girls theme:

And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see the biggest tits belong to me...

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

WHAT:eek::smack: Those aren't the real words? I just googled it, and I've been singing it wrong all these years!!

'Ccording to this (http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/dan_seals/id_really_love_to_see_you_tonight.html), those are the real lyrics. Or am I getting whooshed here?

[Jack Crazyquilt]

Billy Joel's Don't Ask Me Why

"All the servants in your new hotel
Blow their noses on your feet."

Also, add me to the list of people who sing Weird Al lyrics while the original song is playing.

[Dendarii Dame]

Far more obscurely, there's a novelty Christmas song sung in a Swedish accent called, "Oh, I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas". Anyone remember a Hanna-Barbera cartoon called Journey to the Center of the Earth? The villain was Swedish, and according to the narrator, had a "brute-like servant, Torg." So whenever we hear the song, my husband and I sing,
"Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas/With my brute-like servant, Torg..."

Sorry, I have to fix this and I missed the edit window. It should be, "Oh, I yust go nuts at the center of the earth/With my brute-like servant, Torg..."

[Minnie Luna]

When it first came out, I watched this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLd22ha_-VU) on Youtube for Pearl Jam's Yellow Ledbetter.

"I don't want a whale in a box or a bag,
Ah yeeeeeaaaaaah
Can you see dems?
Out on the porch
Potato wave
I see dem
Brown the runway"

[doverpro]

Might as well face it, you're a dick head in love.

[Clothahump]

Anything that has been done Weird Al. I cannot hear the original without the parody version rattling around in my head. I usually end up singing the Al version loudly over the original one.

Oh, ghods, yes.

"How come you're such a fussy young man?
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisen Bran?"

[11811]

Later on, we'll perspire as we roast by the fire.
To face, so afraid, the bills left unpaid.
Walking in a winter wonderland.

That's "walking wearing women's underwear":D

[Aeris]

My children have corrupted 'Secret Agent Man' into 'She's an Asian Man' which completely cracks me up now when I hear that song.

Ha! My mom is the one that started my on that. Except we sing 'Secret Asian Man'.

But I came on here to say...

Taylor Swift-Our Song hate her

"When we're on the phone and you talk real low cause it's late and your momma don't know"

Low makes so much more sense than slow!:mad:

[Vinyl Turnip]

When the poopy's over
When the poopy's over, yeah
When the poopy's over
Turn out the light
Turn out the light
Turn out the light...

Well the poopy is your special friend
Ass on fire as it distends
Poopy is your only friend
Until the end
Until the end
Until the end!

[Annie-Xmas]

Are you reeling in the years?
Stowin' away the time?
Are you gathering up the cheese?
Have you had enough wine?

Are you living in the east?
Strolling away the time?
Are you gathering up the years?
Do you have a diamond mine?

[FalconFinder]

"But there's a warm wind blowing the stars around/And I'd really love to see you tonight..."

Holy Crap! Until this, I thought those were the lyrics! :eek: :o

Well, I probably won't stop singing it that way...

[FalconFinder]

WHAT:eek::smack: Those aren't the real words? I just googled it, and I've been singing it wrong all these years!!

Don't feel bad, I just learned this too! LOL

[FalconFinder]

'Ccording to this (http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/dan_seals/id_really_love_to_see_you_tonight.html), those are the real lyrics. Or am I getting whooshed here?

A couple of lyrics sites have it the other way, but after getting thoroughly confused, I went and listened to the song. It is "blowing the stars around".

I confirmed this by watching the video where Dan Seals (England Dan) does a country version of this song and it's much more pronounced.

*whew*

[TonySinclair]

An oldie, "Johnny Angel":

Other fellas call me up for a date,
But I just sit and wait,
I'd rather masturbate.

[TonySinclair]

And my favorite when I'm in a racist mood:

R-E-S-P-E-C-K!

[bup]

"All...we...do-ooo...
crumbles to the ground and hurts our little feet..."

[dnooman]

From "One" by Metallica:

The lyric is "Tied to machines that make me be", I always sing "Tied to machines that make me pee".

One of those stupid-ass things you find funny in High School, that for some reason is still worth a chuckle today.

[elfkin477]

I think this one may be far from widespread but-

In the Rush song Freewill, instead of "path that's clear" I always sing (and hear):

♫ I will choose a bathysphere ♫

I know it makes absolutely no sense, but that's what my brain thought it heard way back when and it stuck! There actually is a song about a Bathysphere, though. It's by Smog (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjB3c4woT20&feature=related).

[VOW]

"What are the words to La Bamba?"


~VOW

[Phnord Prephect]

Ha! My mom is the one that started my on that. Except we sing 'Secret Asian Man'.

Even better, "Sequined Asian Man." I just like the visual that one gives me.

Oh My! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2ALsvU50wQ)

[sco3tt]

Alternative radio in the 90s was a good source for these.

The opening lines of "Santa Monica" by Everclear:

I am still living with your goat
Lonely and dreaming of a wet coat

And Collective Soul's "The World I Know" was always "The One-Eyed Gnome" to me.

[panache45]

The Beatles' "The girl with colitis goes by."

Sondheim's "Not a Dago Spy" (Not a Day Goes By)

And of course the immortal Marmoset Song:
"Marmoset, there'll be days like this; there'll be days like this, my marmoset."

[BigT]

I probably do it all the time with any song I learn to play on keyboard first, and haven't heard or sang in a while. But that's the one I want to bring up.

There this old Christian song, done in a Gaither style, called "Let the Hallelujahs Roll." It's chorus begins, "Hallelujah feels the same in every language/ It starts the doorbells ringing in your soul." No one I know has any idea why it is "doorbells." And so my old church always sang "joy bells" instead.

[Rucksinator]

"You! You got what I need!
And you say he's just a friend,
but you're always fucking him!"

One of my co-workers would sing the beginning of the Three's Company theme "come and lick on my balls."
To which I'd respond "Who licked my ball sack!? (Who, who,who, who, who)"

[cjepson]

All in all, you're just another dick in the mall.

[manila]

You've painted up your tits and curled and combed your pubic hair.
Ruby are you constipated? here just eat this pear.

Apologies to Kenny Rogers... nah not really!

[sahirrnee]

Sheryl Crowe

"all i want to do is hurt someone"

[Son of a Rich]

When, at work, Purple Haze would play, I'd sing: 'scuse me while you kiss my ass.

[Sicks Ate]

When, at work, Purple Haze would play, I'd sing: 'scuse me while you kiss my ass.

User name reminded me of another favorite, from 'Hair of the Dog':

Now you're messin with a vaginal itch.

[Soylent Juicy]

The Patient Ferris Wheel by Gaslight Anthem:

"Maybe I should call me an ambulance" I sing as "Maybe I should call me an amber lamps" as a homage to Amber Lamps (http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/amber-lamps)

Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get laid

I always sing it like that.

I don't care what anyone says, it's "wrapped up like a douche."

Agreed.

[Ludovic]

I don't sing it like that myself, but I do sing, thanks to someone on this MB, "And The Little Hurdy Gurdy gave my Anus Curly Wurly".

[Electric Warrior]

I think this one may be far from widespread but-

In the Rush song Freewill, instead of "path that's clear" I always sing (and hear):

♫ I will choose a bathysphere ♫

I know it makes absolutely no sense, but that's what my brain thought it heard way back when and it stuck!

I have a Rush one too: "I stood on top of the mountain/ Angina sang to me" (Tai Shan)

[K364]

Air Supply: "I'm all out of drugs, I'm so lost without them."

In fact, I substitute "drugs" for "love" in pretty much every song. "There's nothing you can do that can't be done" ... "All you need is drugs..."

[Drain Bead]

In Faith Hill's "Breathe," replace every instance of the word "breathe" with "pee" for a much more interesting song.

[JKellyMap]

Air Supply: "I'm all out of drugs, I'm so lost without them."

In fact, I substitute "drugs" for "love" in pretty much every song. "There's nothing you can do that can't be done" ... "All you need is drugs..."

:p I have to start doing this.

Anyway, I laways heard Golden Earring's "Radar Love" as "Red Hot Love", and still "hear" it that way, even though I know the "truth".

("Truth" in quotes, because it HAS to be "Red Hot Love". "Radar Love" is so dumb! Unless English isn't your first language, then you have an excuse. Oh? Oh, I see. Okay, then. My bad.)

[cjepson]

Air Supply: "I'm all out of drugs, I'm so lost without them."

In fact, I substitute "drugs" for "love" in pretty much every song. "There's nothing you can do that can't be done" ... "All you need is drugs..."

I tend to use "lunch".

All you eat is lunch
All you eat is lunch
All you eat is lunch, lunch
Lunch is all you eat.

[JKellyMap]

I tend to use "lunch".

All you eat is lunch
All you eat is lunch
All you eat is lunch, lunch
Lunch is all you eat.

Ahh, the legend that will last a lunchtime.

[Yaxche]

Kings of Leon: Your spaceship's on fire



Man, I have a serious dislike for that song, but this almost makes it awesome!

[Annie-Xmas]

Ho! Ho! The mistletoe hung where you can see.
Somebody waits for you. Kick her once for me.

[campp]

Bad Company: I feel like making lunch

Heart: What about Lunch? Are you going to make a cheese crisp?

[cjepson]

Bad Company: I feel like making lunch

Heart: What about Lunch? Are you going to make a cheese crisp?

I'm in the mood for lunch, simply because I'm hungry...

[Soylent Juicy]

Eiffel 65 - Blue (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68ugkg9RePc&feature=related)

My old roommate's co-worker swore they were singing "I'm blue I'm in need of a guy". So that's how I sing it.

[LAV25]

Oh dear, so many.

Willie Nelson "Angels flying hippos to the ground...."

Pink Floyd "All in all, it's just another kick in the balls."

Golden Earring (and I have no idea what the lyrics really are)
"Found I'm slippin' into the Twilight Zone
Babies tied me up, feels like I'm home."

And (blasphemy warning)

"We three be Kings of Orient
Because you're so cute we bought you a tent,
a field, a fountain, a Moor and a mountain
all in the hopes you'll pay our rent"

Big blasphemy warning:

"O come let us ignore him
O come let us deplore him
O come let us abhor him....."

[cutman74]

(To Meat Loaf's "You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth")
"I took my dick right out of your mom, I thought she'd have another kid like you. To a friend that I always exchange mom jokes with. I know its juvenile,, but my sense of humor is perpetually twelve.

[LAV25]

Shoot, forgot one:

Scorpions: "Here I am, raunchy like a hurricane!

[LAV25]

(To Meat Loaf's "You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth")
"I took my dick right out of your mom, I thought she'd have another kid like you. To a friend that I always exchange mom jokes with. I know its juvenile,, but my sense of humor is perpetually twelve.

That whole song gets pretty weird just swapping "the words" for "your/my dick." Thanks for that....:rolleyes:

[cutman74]

I also genuinely thought the lyrics to Brewer and Shipley's "One Toke Over the Line" were, " I met all the girls and loved myself a few, when the price was right." It really says "when to my surprise."

[PatriotGrrrl]

Help, I'm steppin' into the twilight zone
Place is a madhouse, feels like Vietnam...

[HMS Irruncible]

The smell of fat chicks just put my spine out of place....

[Ludovic]

:::Hijack::: I just found a potential one. Lunch Money's "Yes We Have Rhythm" has a line
Do your eyes blink [yes we have rhythm]
Do your shoes squeak [yes we have rhythm]

I just realized that I was expecting a rhyme, in other words "Do your eyes blink, do your shoes stink?"

[Hoopy Frood]

"Children roasting on an open fire,
"Jack Frost nipping at their toes..."

Chester's roasting on an open fire. Jack is stepping on his toes.

Don't go out tonight, you're bound to lose your life- there's a bathroom on the right

Ditto.

I cannot hear Lady Gaga's song "Butterface" without thinking how much better the alternate lyrics are :)

Yeah, first time I heard "Pokerface" and then found out who sang it, I couldn't help but sing butterface afterward. Happy to see someone made an actual parody.

"Hold me closer, Tony Danza!"

I remember the first time I saw someone post that on a message board I moderate. I busted a gut laughing.

I came here to post Secret Asian Man.

Yep. It's just funnier that way. Oddly enough, I never really noticed that it sounds like "Asian" until later in my life. My dad used to listen to the oldies station and I always new it was "agent", until one day it hit me how bad the diction on that word really is.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
But your thighs are so delightful,...

Speaking of thighs:

In your thighs
The light, the heat
(In your thighs)
I am complete
(In your thighs)
I see the doorway
To a thousand Churches.
(In your thighs)
The resolution
of all the fruitless searches.
Oh I see the light and the heat.
(In your thighs)
Oh I wanna be that complete.
I wanna touch the light, the heat I see in your thighs.

Yes you're all welcome for that one. Just try to hear that Peter Gabriel song in any other manner now.

Later on, we'll perspire as we roast by the fire.
To face, so afraid, the bills left unpaid.
Walking in a winter wonderland.

I always sing perspire at that part as well.

"Dirty Deeds, and they're done with Sheep"

That's "walking wearing women's underwear":D

Yep. Bob River's has done both, though I think I sang the sheep version before he made a recording of it.

I think this one may be far from widespread but-

In the Rush song Freewill, instead of "path that's clear" I always sing (and hear):

♫ I will choose a bathysphere ♫

I know it makes absolutely no sense, but that's what my brain thought it heard way back when and it stuck!

When I first heard the song, all I could here was "I will choose out of my sphere." I knew that couldn't be right, because it didn't make much sense in the larger context of the song. Eventually I puzzled out what he really sings.


Also, add me to the list of people who sing Weird Al lyrics while the original song is playing.

Ditto.

The Beatles' "The girl with colitis goes by."

My mother thought that was the way it originally went she was younger.

Oh, and then, when my girlfriend was a kid, she always heard and sang this:

She's got a chicken to ride.
She's got a chicken to ri-i-ide.
She's got a chicken to ride
But she don't care.

My girlfriend was of the opinion that having a chicken you could ride would be a wonderful thing, and could understand why someone would be lamenting the fact that someone didn't appreciate it.

She was disappointed to find out the real lyrics.

[Number]

Smokey " ...if you feel like giving me a lifetime of servility, I second that emotion...""Although she may be cute, she's just a prostitute..."

I came here to post Secret Asian Man.Da Vinci's Notebook (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR34ilk4xaI) heard it that way too.

[squeegee]

(From a very old Cheech and Chong movie, but I still find it amusing)

da da DA DA da DA da DA da DA
duh da da DA DA da DA
My Ssscrotum!

[furryman]

"You are like a hurricane./
There's cum in your eyes"
--- Neil Young - Like a Hurricane

"Dye! Dye my hair!/
A darker shade of brown!
It's too light for me!"
--- Metallica - Creeping Death

There's a parody version of The Doors' Riders on the Storm, done by Bob Rivers, which is quite brilliant. It's called 'Burgers on the Grill' (youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DSeP3N4hg4)) and its lyrics in their entirety are better than the original.

"Leader Of The Landromat" By the Detergents. One of the greatest parody songs ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4dEuqKAgn8

[Carptracker]

Dylan: I seen a lot o' women, I seen a lot o' beHIND!

(instead of "but she never 'scaped my MIND")

[Jesta]

and continue to sing to myself..

Guns n' Roses - You're Crazy

Ow!
I've been lookin' for a plate
Lookin' for a (pop?)tart,
Lookin' for a oven in this house
That's much too dark
Because you won't cook my lunch, no, no
You wanna, go onna vacation
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, ow!
You won't cook my lunch
You gonna find yourself in another
Another place, another place of your own,
yeah, ow yeah, look out

See what i'm bakin'? What i've gotta stew?
I've been cookin' everything and I,
I been washin' for you
Because you won't cook my lunch, no, no
You want me to, eat on location
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
You won't make my lunch
I'm gonna find yourself where another
Another pizza, another pizza's
The main attraction

You're lazy, hey, hey
You know you're lazy, oh my!
You're fat n' lazy, do-sile!
You know you're lazy
Ay,ay,ay,ay,ay,ay,ah,ah,ah,ah, yeah!
Woh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Oh na,no,na,no,na,no,na,no,na,no,no,no
No,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no
No,no,no, no, no, no, no,no,no,no,no,no
no,no,no! Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, Oh no, ow! -Woooh, yum!

Hey boy, where ya comin' from?
Where'd ya find that Vac-a-Uum?
When I was younger
I had a housekeeper like you,
and she said,
'You don't need my gloves,
You wanna self-sanitasation,' Bitch
You don't need my scrubs,
You've got to claim yourself another
Another seat, another seat in-
Front of the action

You're lazy, hey, hey
You know you're lazy, oh my!
You're fat n' lazy, oh-bese
You know you're lazy, Ay, ay, ay, ay,
You know you're lazy, Hey, hey,
You're fat n' lazy, Oh Wow,
You know you're lazy, Ay, ay, ay, ay,
You're fu#@in' lazy, Yeah
You know you are!
Sitting down!
You're fu#@in' LAZY!


Original Lyrics here: http://www.lyrics007.com/Guns%20N%27%20Roses%20Lyrics/You%27re%20Crazy%20Lyrics.html

Original Performance here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vM2KI0Fs-fI

Dedicated to an ex-partner of mine! :p
(Probably a good thing I don't have an instrumental version of the song, nor a decent singing voice!)

Oh, and Yes, Secret Asian Man, Tony Danza, Love\Drugs\Lunch, Wrapped up like a douche, all common from me too...

[cochrane]

Anything that has been done Weird Al. I cannot hear the original without the parody version rattling around in my head. I usually end up singing the Al version loudly over the original one.
Don McLean has said that when he goes to sing "American Pie" in concert, he will often find himself singing the lyrics to Weird Al's parody, "The Saga Begins," instead.

As for me, when I hear Johnny Rivers' "Secret Agent Man," I can't help singing "Secret Asian Man". :D

EDIT - And I thought I was the only one! :smack:

[Hypno-Toad]

Take me down to the Parasite City
Where the girls are green and the grass tastes shitty
Oh won't you please take me home, yeaaah

Take me down to Paradise City
Where all the girls got great big titties
Oh won't you please take me home

Hot-blooded by Foreigner:

Cuz I'm Dimwitted, check it and see
Got an IQ of seventy three
Cmon baby, I cant' chew gum and walk
Cuz I'm dimwitted, DIMWITTED!

I too sing "In Your Thighs" by Peter Gabriel.

[Hypno-Toad]

I forgot my helpful tip: Just put "Tongue" in place of "love." It rarely changes the meaning of the song but usually makes it clearer. Especially for AC/DC.

[cjepson]

I might just mention Little Richard's "Tutti Frutti" here... the lyrics we all know are not the original ones; they were rewritten by Dorothy LaBostrie. The song was originally dirty; AFAIK, no recorded version exists, and the original lyrics are mostly lost. So if you sing dirty lyrics to the song, you might actually be singing it right.

[Labtrash]

Rage Against the Machine:

Instead of "We're the renegades of funk", I usually sing "with a redneck case of funk"

[Johnny Q]

A couple classics:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Takin' PCP

I'd like to smoke with my baby tonight
Have a toke with my baby tonight
I'd like to smoke with my baby tonight
Have a toke with my baby tonight
But I'd be a joke with my baby tonight...

[Toxgoddess]

From the Les Miserables sound track. The correct lyrics are "The blood of the martyrs will water the meadows if France." My ten-year-old daughted innocently sang it "The blood of the Martians..."

Now it's Martians every time.

[Toxgoddess]

Just have to say this is one of the funniest threads ever!

My husband came up with this one, to the disgust of our (female) offspring. To the tune of the Kris Kringle song from the old claymation Rudolph Christmas special:

Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle
Please don't eat the yellow snow
I had lots of coffee
And I really had to go.

[Chefguy]

"And Then He Kissed Me" (old tune by The Crystals) is always "And Then He Kicked Me".

[Rico]

"Shout" by Tears for Fears:

Grout! Grout! Grout on the spout!
The shower is the thing I'm talking about!

[cjepson]

Winter's here, the skies are gray
Just last night I passed away
Soon I'll be under six feet of clay
And I'll never be lively any more.

Because I'm....

Goin' to the chapel and I'm gonna get buried
Goin' to the chapel and I'm gonna get buried
Gee I'm really dead now and I'm gonna get buried
Goin' to the CHAPEL OF DEATH.

[JXJohns]

WHAT:eek::smack: Those aren't the real words? I just googled it, and I've been singing it wrong all these years!!

Me too, ours are better and I'd be happy to let England Dan know it.

[tullsterx]

I don't care what anyone says, it's "wrapped up like a douche."

Here, here! Agreed!

And "Three young chickeetas in Omaha!" is actually "We were eating Cheetos in Omaha!"

[What the .... ?!?!]

Romantics -

What I like about Jews,
They really know finance.

[Elendil's Heir]

In the Annie Lenox and Howard Shore song "Into the West" from LOTR are these lyrics:

...
Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time....

I don't think that fits the message and significance of the song, so I change the first two lines:

...
Hope grows
Against the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time....

Same number of syllables, but more appropriate in context.

I also always look over my shoulder whenever Don Henley sings "Don't look back, you can never look back" in "The Boys of Summer."

[cjepson]

Every time I heard "Bony Moronie", I always wondered how Larry Williams could get away with singing about them making love on their knees behind the trees. Now that I know the real lyric, I still like mine better.

[Soylent Juicy]

I also always look over my shoulder whenever Don Henley sings "Don't look back, you can never look back" in "The Boys of Summer."

I always thought he was singing "I saw a dead head sticking out of a Cadillac" (Dead head sticker on a Cadillac). I like my version better.

[Musicat]

A couple of lyrics sites have it the other way, but after getting thoroughly confused, I went and listened to the song. It is "blowing the stars around".

I confirmed this by watching the video where Dan Seals (England Dan) does a country version of this song and it's much more pronounced. I did the lead sheets for some Dan & Coley abums in the 70's, and I'm pretty sure it's "blowing the stars around."

But I wouldn't swear in a court of law because (1) I'm not sure I did that song for them, and (2) I'm not sure the composers supplied the lyrics for me. Sometimes they did, sometimes they didn't, then I had to cope like everyone else, although I had top-notch quality studio recordings to work from. I charged the publisher more if I had to guess.

[Barkis is Willin']

Eiffel 65 - Blue (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68ugkg9RePc&feature=related)

My old roommate's co-worker swore they were singing "I'm blue I'm in need of a guy". So that's how I sing it.

I had a friend who would sing "I'm blue if I were green I would die."

Another of mine that I just did this morning is Zombie, by the Cranberries.

With their tanks
And their bombs
And their bombs
And their guns
Eeyore head
Eeyore head
They are dying

Eeyore heeeeeead
Eeyore heeeeeead
Zombie
Zombie
Zombie ee ee ee

[Ashley Pomeroy]

Owner of a horse and cart!

Owner of a dish-wash-er!

Much better than an...

Owner of the nuclear-powered fleet carrier USS Nimitz!

Owner of a Mamiya C33 that's generally in good condition except that the taking lens has a bloody huge set of gouges in the rear element, contrary to your description of them being QUOTE nice & clean & are also free of any scratches, dust, haze or fungus UNQUOTE, which disappoints me because it's otherwise a decent albeit very heavy example of Mamiya's fascinating attempt to mate the post-war medium format system camera approach pioneered by Hasselbald with the pre-war twin-lens-reflex design!

And so on. Like all humour, it works because it's subversive. You're expecting me to sing "owner of a lonely heart", but I replace "lonely heart" with something else that has four syllables. And then I subvert the subversion by singing things that brutally, violently break the meter of the song. The more brutal and violent the subversion, the more unlikely the object, the funnier it is. Why stop at objects? Why not be the owner of a growing, gnawing sense of alienation and disillusionment that can only be held at bay by harvesting souls?

I admit this isn't a new idea. Mystery Science Theatre 3000 did a whole skit on the subject (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5OzF-ZT6QI) of how to determine whether the owner of a perfectly functional cheese slicer is better or worse than the owner of a pi-ie. But I came up with this idea independently, before I'd heard of MST3K. The idea of singing things other than "lonely heart" when singing the chorus of Yes' "Owner of a Lonely Heart", I came up with the idea by myself, because the pinballs on the great pinball table of my mind are in constant motion. I am tilting the board non-stop.

But I feel I need a government grant to really explore the topic, though. 'frinstance, suppose I sing "owner of an owner of a lonely heart", and then extend it so that I'm singing "owner of an owner of an owner of an owner of an owner of an owner of a lonely heart", or "owner of an owner of an owner of an of an owner of an owner of an owner of an owner of an owner of an owner of an owner of an owner of a lonely heart". Perhaps I could just concentrate on that one thing. With some kind of mathematical nomenclature. "[Owner of an owner x 4.6x1[9]] lonely heart", for example. At what point does it stop becoming funny? After the first billion iterations, or beyond? Does it regain its funniness?

That bit about the Mamiya C33 is true, by the way. Interchangeable lenses, bellows focusing which makes every lens a quasi-macro lens, physically built like a tank (e.g. it has blow-out panels in the rear and wet storage for HESH rounds, four crew, passive infrared, Chobham armour, flip-up viewing hood). But the taking lens has a set of gouges - not just scratches, but bits of glass missing - on the rear element, and although it might not affect image quality too much, why put up with it? And, is mathematical nomenclature actually numenclature? That was a pun.

[JohnT]

"But there's a warm wind blowing the stars around/And I'd really love to see you tonight..."

That's the song that has the chorus start with the line

"I'm not talking about the linen"

right? ;)

[Harvey Ferguson]

Slow talkin' Walter, the fire engine guy.

[Hilarity N. Suze]

That's the song that has the chorus start with the line

"I'm not talking about the linen"

right? ;)

I think he is too talking 'bout the linen. I got a real jolt (I think it was here on this very board) to learn that there is NOT a warm wind blowing the stars around.

Also, "One." Actual lyrics: "One...singular sensation..." (etc.) What goes in my head: "Step, cross, step, ball-change, KICK, step, KICK, hat..."

[Wayne-O]

He's dancin' with the chicken slacks
She's movin' up and back

[snowthx]

"...cause we are li-ving in a venereal world, and I am the venereal girl..."

"Owner of a lonely fart..."

[LAV25]

We are one in the Spirit
We are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit
We are one in the Lord
And we'll take all God's enemies
and put them to the sword
And they'll know we are Christians
when they die
when they die
Yes they'll know that we are Christians when they die.

[Ludovic]

Found another one, by the excellent slightly pop-punk band called Fireworks (they're so good that all of their songs sound like album openers.)

They have a lyric that goes
"we'll start having to cope with the fact that
none of the things we say are making any sense at all"

I originally heard it as
"We'll start having a Coke with the fact that
none of the things we say are making any sense at all"

Which doesn't make any sense at all. Which I thought was the point of the line :smack: . But I'm singing it that way from now on cause mine is better dammit.

[The Walking Dude]

"My pony plays the bongo"

I blame my wife for that. I will never hear it as, "Marconi plays the mamba" ever again.

[aruvqan]

"What are the words to La Bamba?"


~VOW
LOL My old buddy Glen Sarcona taught me that version :D

To Laibach's Tanz Mit Laibach (http://www.rathergood.com/laibach) we sing something along the lines of
Eins, zwei, drei, vier
Give the German Kittens Beer! [instead of Bruederchen, komm tanz mit mir]
Eins, zwei, drei, vier
German kittens want their beer! [instead of Beide Haende reich ich dir]
and so on.

mrAru also substitutes words in english that sound german in Rammstein songs:dubious::D

I still insist on singing My Bonnie with the Vietnam (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_M6h0PO9kU) variant and got my goddaughters doing it as well. :D

[Cliffy]

I do a couple of those already mentioned -- Secret Asian Man, Tony Danza, and (occasionally) there's a bathroom on the right.

One of my own is from a Barry Manilow hit in regular rotation when I was a kid: "Looks like tomatoes!" That was my mondegreeen and I'm sticking to it.

The one I find most fun is The Beatles' Lady Madonna -- in the break where they sing "ba ba bah, ba ba ba bababah..." I do it as chickens bawking. I always picture Gonzo leading his chicken chorus on The Muppet Show.

--Cliffy

[11811]

"Children roasting on an open fire,
"Jack Frost nipping at their toes..."

Jeff's nuts roasting on an open fire.....

[11811]

I like substituting "ba fangool" for "I love you":

I just called to say "ba fangool"

[Filbert]

I actually heard it as this once, and now I can't sing it any other way,

Aretha Franklin:

'Cause you make me feel,
You make me feel,
You make me feel like
A mental old woman'

[Biffy the Elephant Shrew]

'Cause you make me feel,
You make me feel,
You make me feel like
A mental old woman'

I sing it as "An actual wombat (wombat)."