Anyone used a bedside co-sleeper? Tell me about it.

[Anne Neville]

I don't trust myself to not roll over on a baby in our bed. I also know that, if there is something in the bed that I'm determined not to disturb, I end up not getting much sleep. Co-sleeping with the baby in the bed doesn't seem like it would work for me. But I am considering getting one of these (http://www.amazon.com/Arms-Reach-Concepts-Co-Sleeper-Clear-Vue/dp/B003TPNV1S/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_nC?ie=UTF8&coliid=I3M6PW0RE6V3P6&colid=1WBF4AX3TNXRT), (recommended by someone on Ask MetaFilter) so the baby could be next to our bed.

Has anyone used anything like this for your baby? What was it like? Any recommendations on ones to use or not to use? I want something that's not huge, as space in our bedroom is at a premium.

[Manda JO]

I had one. Baby never slept in it. This may have been related to how the bedroom was configured. Basically, I discovered that 1) the only way I could safely pick the baby up out of the co-sleeper was to stand up and get some leverage and 2) since I couldn't nurse lying down, and was standing anyway, I might as well carry the baby to the comfortable chair. Since both of those were true, I there was no point in putting the baby in the awkward to reach co-sleeper to begin with. Basically, it was a fine bassinet, but the strapped-to-the-bed part didn't add anything. We had a pram-style stroller, and for the first 3 months or so the baby slept mostly in there. This was convenient because we could move it to wherever we were.

As far as sleeping at the same time and in the same room as the baby? I never could do that when he was really, really little and gave it up entirely once I had to go back to work. Any noise the baby made woke me up and I would lie there, listening to see if he was going to wake up. Once he didn't, I would then worry that he wasn't breathing and have to get up to check him. This cycle repeated itself endlessly and I never had more than 20-30 minutes of uninterrupted sleep. Once I mixed working in with that, I started to go insane, literally.

So I put in earplugs and slept in our room and my husband slept in the baby's room (we left the guest bed in there). The baby started sleeping in his crib. This gave me 5 solid hours a night and restored me to a sane state. Still tired, but sane. We'd switch spots at 3 AM. At some point, I moved into the guest room, too, and we are still there at seven months, which is good because I need our bed to store clean laundry on!

[LavenderBlue]

I looked at that model in a store and decided it was too flimsy and probably unsafe. Get something like this instead (http://www.amazon.com/Graco-Playard-Reversible-Napper-Changer/dp/B005UV0UCM/ref=pd_sbs_ba_2[url). Place it next to the bed, lean over and nurse and sleep. My toddler is still sleeping in, minus the bedside attachment. You can also co-sleep safely in your bed if you follow certain rules like placing the baby in a bed with minimal bedding and no space for it to get caught or fall down.

[Motorgirl]

I'm thinking about getting one for my cat. Does that count? :D

[Anne Neville]

You can also co-sleep safely in your bed if you follow certain rules like placing the baby in a bed with minimal bedding and no space for it to get caught or fall down.

Minimal bedding doesn't work for me. I need sheets and blankets over me to be able to sleep. Is that going to be a problem if I have a co-sleeper attached to the side of the bed?

[LavenderBlue]

Minimal bedding doesn't work for me. I need sheets and blankets over me to be able to sleep. Is that going to be a problem if I have a co-sleeper attached to the side of the bed?

From a good source about rules for safe co-sleeping:

http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/cosleeping.html#

•Do not place a baby on a soft surface to sleep such as a soft mattress, sofa, or waterbed.

•Don't use pillows, comforters, quilts, and other soft or plush items on the bed. Consider using a sleeper instead of blankets.

:)

[Manda JO]

•Do not place a baby on a soft surface to sleep such as a soft mattress, sofa, or waterbed.

•Don't use pillows, comforters, quilts, and other soft or plush items on the bed. Consider using a sleeper instead of blankets.

I think that means not to use blankets on the bed if there is a baby on the bed. Blankets on the bed when there is a baby in the co-sleeper should be fine, unless you tend to kick blankets around.

[Edward The Head]

We had an Arm's Reach co-sleeper, though not that one. It's been 4 years, and I didn't sleep with them then, but I don't remember it being used that much. I do however remember that it was a very sturdy item. It's possible that the one in the store was not put together properly.

I do know that my ex co-slept for about 2.5 years. I don't think there's a huge problem if you have blankets and such, you just need to keep the baby away from them. I don't remember having a hard time with that.

Try looking for a used one, that way you can at least try it and see if it works or not. I think our daughter slept in it for at least a couple of months, but honestly I can't remember any more. Worst case is you now have a pack in play, which is what the one we had converted into as well.

[Ellen Cherry]

I had another model of the Arms-Reach co-sleeper and it worked great for us. The baby slept in it, and when he awoke, I just pulled him into bed with me. Often he fell asleep next to me (and I fell asleep as well), but I didn't have to worry he'd fall out because the co-sleeper was right there snugged up next to the bed. Often, he'd roll on back into the sleeper. Later, I reconfigured it to be a pack-n-play, so I didn't have to buy another one of those.

I nursed a lot of babies and co-sleeping was by far the easiest way to get lots of sleep and have everyone be happiest for most of the time.

ETA: Also, I found if you're sleeping right next to the baby you get used to all those gurgly sounds and don't wake up any more. Heck, there were many times that I nursed him without ever fully waking up (that is, after he got old enough that he wasn't pooping every time he ate). Good times. :)

[LavenderBlue]

I think that means not to use blankets on the bed if there is a baby on the bed. Blankets on the bed when there is a baby in the co-sleeper should be fine, unless you tend to kick blankets around.

When we used our version of the co-sleeper I just had to be very careful with blankets and bedding. I would lift the baby out of the co-sleeper and place her in bed with me for a few minutes of comfort and a pumped bottle of milk which I kept in a cooler next to the bed. My youngest did not latch until she was about eight months old so I just pumped and pumped and supplemented with formula here and there. The blankets would creep over her head and I had to push them back.

[iftheresaway]

I don't trust myself to not roll over on a baby in our bed. I also know that, if there is something in the bed that I'm determined not to disturb, I end up not getting much sleep. Co-sleeping with the baby in the bed doesn't seem like it would work for me. But I am considering getting one of these (http://www.amazon.com/Arms-Reach-Concepts-Co-Sleeper-Clear-Vue/dp/B003TPNV1S/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_nC?ie=UTF8&coliid=I3M6PW0RE6V3P6&colid=1WBF4AX3TNXRT), (recommended by someone on Ask MetaFilter) so the baby could be next to our bed.

Has anyone used anything like this for your baby? What was it like? Any recommendations on ones to use or not to use? I want something that's not huge, as space in our bedroom is at a premium.

I've got an Arm's Reach that we just bought and are planning to use. I've heard good things, but no personal experience - I think I'm due a couple of weeks before you so maybe I can revisit this then.

[Anne Neville]

Thanks for all the advice here. My last experience with co-sleeping was around 1975-76, when I was a baby and refused to sleep in my crib. My parents recently told me that they would let me sleep on pillows in their bed (probably face down, as they didn't recommend that you put babies to sleep on their backs until the 90's). I boggled when they told me about the pillows, as this was after I had gotten pregnant and knew that letting babies sleep on pillows is a no-no.

[emmaliminal]

We used one of the mini models of the Arm's Reach brand and liked it quite well. I was never able to nurse in the dark very well, but that had nothing to do with the cosleeper. Husband and I both liked having the baby in our room. I guess there must be people with newborns who can leave them for seval hours in another room -- the baby sleeps soundly and the parents don't worry -- but we weren't among them, and if you're going to get up for the baby anyway for whatever reason, we thought minimizing the distance made it a little easier.

Oh, and we didn't find keeping our normal sheets and blankets clear of the cosleeper to be difficult at all.

[SmellMyWort]

We're going with this as opposed to something that straps to the bed.

http://www.target.com/p/Fisher-Price-SnugaBunny-Newborn-Rock-N-Play-Soother/-/A-13868677

[Damuri Ajashi]

We used something like this (it strapped to the bed) and it worked well for us. The biggest advantage was being able to see and touch the baby without getting out of bed, which makes a difference at 3 in the morning.

It becomes obsolete once the baby starts crawling but during those first few months, every little bit helped. At least for us.

[Quercus]

We have one (borrowed from a neighbor), but so far the sprout only slept in it a few times; after the first couple times mom and sprout fell asleep together during/after nursing and everyone survived, mom didn't see much point in moving the sprout into the co-sleeper four times a night, and getting him back out when he got hungry. He just sleeps in the big bed with us, even though he's started sleeping most of the night.

But, each child and parents are different, so it might be great for you. But don't underestimate your ability to know where the baby is even while asleep; and it's pretty likely you can learn within a couple of weeks to stay asleep for little twitches while waking up for big movements by the baby.

[pbbth]

For me I found that cosleeping wasn't going to be possible. I tried it once and it only took about 6 seconds for a pillow to end up on top of the baby's face so we put her in a bassinet beside the bed. The problem was that she hated that bassinet more than any baby has ever hated anything. We eventually settled on this (http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Sleeper-Yellow/dp/B002M77N22/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1338401910&sr=8-1), which is basically a baby hammock on a metal frame. She loves it and sleeps in it all the time. And because it is so small and easy to carry around it goes everywhere, from next to our bed to Grandma's house and back again.

[pbbth]

For me I found that cosleeping wasn't going to be possible. I tried it once and it only took about 6 seconds for a pillow to end up on top of the baby's face so we put her in a bassinet beside the bed. The problem was that she hated that bassinet more than any baby has ever hated anything. We eventually settled on this (http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Sleeper-Yellow/dp/B002M77N22/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1338401910&sr=8-1), which is basically a baby hammock on a metal frame. She loves it and sleeps in it all the time. And because it is so small and easy to carry around it goes everywhere, from next to our bed to Grandma's house and back again.

Please disregard my prior comment. Apparently this item causes a lot of skull deformations in babies and probably shouldn't be used at night. My kid is fine but yours might not be in this sleeper. :(

[Anne Neville]

Whatever we use also has to be something that an adult could not easily tip over by accidentally kicking it. I've got a cut on my heel right now from accidentally kicking the bed frame while getting out of bed. Anything we bring into our house pretty much has to be klutz-proof. (Ideally, it would also be something that wouldn't hurt too much when I stub my toe on it. Not like the evil radiator in our dining room, which will not be satisfied until I lose a toe to it.)

Manda JO, would you mind telling me why you couldn't nurse lying down? That's how I'm planning to try to do it, to get around the klutziness issue.

[Vihaga]

We have a different model and love it. Their height adjusters are crap, though. If you need to raise it, get the kind that you'd use on a bed.


I woke up all the time at first, but now it's great and I rarely wake up unless my daughter is hungry. She isn't super noisy and sleeps easily, though. If she were a lighter sleeper it wouldn't work as well.

[kimera]

I looked at the Arm's Reach because of metafilter, but I'm going with a Pack and Play because they are cheaper and bigger in size. A friend of mine used a Pack and Play with both of hers, so I know they are fine. Our bed is a good size for one, although I was prepared to raise it a bit if necessary. The best part about the Pack and Play is that it's very portable, and can be used as a playbin or a toy storage bin, so we expect to get a lot of use out of it.

[overlyverbose]

I had an Arm's Reach. My daughter didn't like it. She slept in a bouncinette on the floor for quite some time, in our bed occasionally after she was about 3-4 months and then in a crib in her own room for about 6 months before she graduated to a full-sized mattress on the floor (she thrashed so much she would hit her head on the crib).

Tried to find one on amazon to demonstrate what they looked like, but couldn't find one. I guess they don't make them anymore. I think the next best thing could be a bouncy seat, though I'm not sure what the recommendation is about a baby sleeping in one overnight. I will tell you that babies are snotty, pretty much from birth to age 2, and it does interfere with their sleep. Well, mine were like that anyway. We got to the point where my daughter would grab the snot sucker from my hand and stick it up her own nose (yes I was there to make sure it didn't go in too far).

[MsWhatsit]

I decided that the Arm's Reach thing looked a little too flimsy. We used a regular crib instead. We took one of the sides off (the one that's meant to be adjustable) and used bungee cords to strap the crib tightly to the bed. There was still a little gap, which I filled with foam batting and tightly covered with a sheet. This meant that the baby had his own place to sleep but was still basically in bed with us.

Now, as time went on and he got older and bigger and I felt safer about having him in the actual bed, we did that too, but we left the crib attached because it basically let me have a place to fling my arm into and made it feel like our bed was a little bigger.

[Ellen Cherry]

I want to talk about nursing laying down, too ... I think it's absolutely fabulous and I wish I had latched on to it (ha!) when my first few kids were wee. Really — you can sleep and nurse and nothing could be easier.

Also, if you have a co-sleeper, you can nurse the baby lying down and there's no "OMG is he going to wake when I transfer him to the crib?" problem. Just arise from the bed and go about your business and the babeling is down for the night. Well, down for at least however long he'll sleep this time. :)

[overlyverbose]

I want to talk about nursing laying down, too ... I think it's absolutely fabulous and I wish I had latched on to it (ha!) when my first few kids were wee. Really — you can sleep and nurse and nothing could be easier.

Also, if you have a co-sleeper, you can nurse the baby lying down and there's no "OMG is he going to wake when I transfer him to the crib?" problem. Just arise from the bed and go about your business and the babeling is down for the night. Well, down for at least however long he'll sleep this time. :)

I LOVED nursing laying down. It made it so much easier to do. I wish I had mastered it with my first - I probably would've been able to nurse more than I did. I always thought of nursing laying down as the black belt nursing skill and being able to nurse in public without flashing everyone in a 10-foot radius the skills of a true master. I have no life.

[Ellen Cherry]

Honey, I have nursed everywhere a baby can go, and no one's seen my goods that I'm aware of. Even nursing a newborn, though, I'm not much more than a B cup, so I'm sure that helps.

Ellen, ninja nurser

[Manda JO]

I don't know why I couldn't manage it. Things just never seemed to line up properly. It could be related to having enormous boobs. Getting the nipple in his mouth was like pushing a rope. Also, it's hard to figure things out when you are terribly sleep deprived. Nursing was really, really difficult for me. Those nursing hormones that everyone else seems to think feel delicious just made me feel like an exhausted, raging bitch--the way you feel when you are sharply awoken from a very sound sleep. So I was never in the mood to experiment. We are still nursing a little, but we have our routine down and it doesn't seem worth bothering with at this point.

[MsWhatsit]

With my oldest, I couldn't nurse him lying down until he was maybe around 4-5 months old or so. Maybe even a little older. With the other two, we figured it out almost instantly. I don't know whether it was just me having experience or whether they were just naturally better at it or what. It did make nighttime feedings a lot more pleasant, though.

[vix]

We had an Arm's Reach mini co-sleeper and used it with both kids. It was nice having them right next to the bed so I could reach in and get them without having to get up. The mini co-sleeper is quite small, so you can only use it with a very young baby. This worked out well for us, since I couldn't sleep well with a baby in the room. Once they were sleeping slightly longer stretches, we moved them to their own room. Then I'd either nurse them in their room or my husband would bring them to me to nurse in bed.

[mozchron]

We had an Arms reach. Mozling hated it, as she hated her crib. Ended up co-sleeping in the bed out of desperation, which sort of worked (she never has been the best sleeper).

To those who think the Arms Reach is flimsy, it most certainly is not. It is very sturdy; frankly, it is heavy as f*ck.

We use it for storage now.

[Stendhal Syndrome]

We also had the Arms Reach and our daughter slept on it for probably five whole minutes. Then we began using it as a changing station which also didn't work for our backs because of the height. She just slept in between us on the bed and I was hesitant in the beginning, but getting 4-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep was just awesome!
She still sleeps with me on the bed but she gets her own set of baby blankets because she gets hot and sweaty otherwise. I need my thick comforters. She wakes up once at night and I sometimes nurse her laying down, but it is just easy for me to get up and use my nursing chair and brest friend. She doesn't even open her eyes really. She nurses for 15-20 min and goes right back to sleep on the bed for another 4-5 hrs.

But yes, it is sturdy and it would've been great if Maya had actually slept on it.

[Nava]

I don't trust myself to not roll over on a baby in our bed. I also know that, if there is something in the bed that I'm determined not to disturb, I end up not getting much sleep. Co-sleeping with the baby in the bed doesn't seem like it would work for me. But I am considering getting one of these (http://www.amazon.com/Arms-Reach-Concepts-Co-Sleeper-Clear-Vue/dp/B003TPNV1S/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_nC?ie=UTF8&coliid=I3M6PW0RE6V3P6&colid=1WBF4AX3TNXRT), (recommended by someone on Ask MetaFilter) so the baby could be next to our bed.

That looks like the "small cradles" that I've seen around all my life, for when a bassinet (I think that's the right term) is not useful any more but the baby is still small enough to need frequent feedings. The ones here are not for keeping beside the bed and have it act as a sort of extension, tho: the logistics of that simply wouldn't work in most Spanish bedrooms (Mom would need to push the cradle out of the way to get up). When the baby needs food, the parent who's less sluggish crawls out of bed, checks that it's indeed hunger, puts baby to breast and lies back down; when baby is done eating, Mom puts it back in the cradle.

I have no idea what the nomenclature will be Over There, but Over Here in Spain cradles come in different widths and lengths; the one Sil and Bro used to have their second kid in their bedroom is the foldable travel cradle/playpen. The things you have to look for and be careful about are the same for any cradle size.

[cantara]

We had twins 11 years ago.

We used a club chair (similar to this (http://www.directfurnitureforu.com/moleskin-club-chair-dark-legs-630-p.asp)) that we already had and wedged it between the bed and wall on my wifes side of the bed. It was too low for our bed and deep matress so I propped it up on blocks. The chair could not move. The edge of the seat was a couple of inches lower than the edge of the bed to ensure that the kids wouldn't roll out. We put them in the chair with their heads facing the bed and feet to the back of the chair. Since there were 2 of them, they couldn't roll around at all.

It was very useful to have them close so we could see what they were up to when they made their baby noises in the night.

We used it for a couple of months until they got too big and moved them into a crib in their own room. They shared the crib for another couple of months until they got too active when sleeping and started thumping their feet on the matress, then they got their own cribs.