Bad Underwear Day

[Nickrz]

You guys know what I'm talking about..
Lil Elvis tells you he's cold. Wtf?
Damn, you put on one of the old pair with the stretched-out leg holes. If those shorts are really bad or you get into certain positions, all the boys start complaining. So it's tuck tuck tuck all day long, right? I hate it when that happens.

Now, I'm not talking about old briefs with holes in them, (aside from the ones you stick your body through) I'm talking about perfectly serviceable knickers with a few good miles left on them. That waist band always holds up.. why is it the leg holes that always give out?

How long have they been making these things, anyway. Is there something about elastic that prevents them from formulating something that lasts at least as long as the cloth? And while I'm on the subject, does anyone ever use that stupid "flap-hole" arrangement in the front? What's that all about?

(You boxer guys shaddap).

[Dirty Devil]

Now are you talking about the jockey-style briefs (with a trap door), or the bikini-style briefs (without a trap door)? I have worn the latter for years, and I've never had the leg holes stretch out. The waist always seems to be the one that gets all loose, so your underware starts slipping down below your waist while you still have your pants on. It's a little embarrassing trying to dig down your pants to pull your shorts up while you're walking down the street, or, even worse, giving that lecture on Financial Stability In The Legal World to 300 corporate attorneys (but, of course, I would know NOTHING about that).

[sly]

Two things:

1> Real men don't throw away underwear. Ever.

2> No real man wears bikini underwear. Ever.

That being said, don't skimp on underwear. Pay top dollar. Hanes or FOTL. You can get away with an off-the-rack suit and a cheap tie, but top of the line underwear pays for itself. So to speak.

[Nickrz]

Hey, men - I'm talking top-of-the-line here, J.C. Penney (don't laugh!). Hanes? FOTL? You can read your newspaper through those flimsies. Why can't they make elastic that lasts?

(Anyone who would wear bikini underwear would probably think people like to see them in a Speedo, too. Case closed.)

[manhattan]

Alex, I’ll take "Things I Didn’t Want to Know About the Moderators" for $200, please.

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Livin' on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

[WallyM7]

Be sure to state your response in the form of a question.

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According to the Pope, a woman can be a saint, but not a priest.

[Rich Hall]

No, you throw them out when there's a hole or a rip. And you have to learn to arrange the equipment through your pockets, even if you get lil Elvis cold.Does not work with jeans.

[Sycorax]

If it's any consolation, this happens to women's underwear too. My leg holes get stretched out before the waist, then the damn things ride up into you-know-where. Can't stand that - I toss 'em.
(BTW, shouldn't the moderator move this topic to MPSIMS?)

[aseymayo]

Ha! I tried to tell you not to wear them on your head and pull on the leg holes so you could tie them under your chin, but would you listen?

[Persephone]

Real men do so wear bikini underwear. My husband is a real man. He says that they provide him with better support. He has to do a lot of heavy lifting. But he's also man enough to know that he shouldn't just be strutting around in them, because no, they don't look all that great. And he'd rather wear black socks with sandals than be seen in public in a Speedo.

That said, he's also manly enough to never, ever throw underwear away. I do not understand this. I suggested throwing some of his worn-to-near-invisibility underwear out once. Once. I guess if it comes down to me or the ragged-out underwear, I know where I stand.

[Spud]

Regarding the "trap door" in briefs... my son just moved up to "big boy pants" and was really impressed with the "pocket" in the front. He walked around for several days looking like a somewhat perverted Napoleon.

But it is over the top or thru the leg for any real man.

[BoBettie]

If you were a spoiled like my husband, you wouldn't even know what worn underwear were- I weed out all the worn undies and holy socks and replace them. He thinks I just get the best quality ever, and he's been wearing the same 7 pair for 6 years now :)

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Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
Emo Philips (stolen from matt's webpage)

[NanoByte]

Holy Socks, Batgirl! You sure those socks aren't holey?

Ray (Sock it to 'er.)

[Mac]

Nope you never get rid of em until the holes get so big your not sure which ones to put your legs through.

[JoltSucker]

The state of men's underwear is a subject near and dear to my heart.

I'm a brief man, but my problem is that I have big balls (unfortunately, I don't have a penis to match, oh well...). I mean these things are the size of chicken eggs. In a regular pair of briefs, the elastic leg holes tend to cut the balls right in half (OUCH!) - usually in the middle of a big, high-profile business meeting.

I was complaining about this to my wife, and I fantasized out loud about underwear that was like a codpiece, so that your goodies were held securely in a pouch shaped specifically for them. Briefs are patterned after panties, with a flat piece of fabric in the crotch - kind of an insult when you think about it. The next day, my wife picked up a package of Jockey "Pouch" underwear! My life has been transformed!! No more surreptitious tugging at leg holes, or ducking around the corner to stick my hands down my pants!! Life is good!!

[Chef Troy]

I used to wear a brand called Munsingwear that not only had a contoured pouch in front, but also had a horizontal fly that was actually useful for extricating lil elvis for the big show. (their logo was a kangaroo.)

I can't find them in big-n-tall sizes anymore and I miss them terribly.

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Live a Lush Life
Da Chef

[Satan]

Underwear?

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Yer pal,
Satan

[Lucky]

Don't any of you guys like to new ones that are sort of like bike shorts? You know, they come down on your legs like boxers, but they're stretchy cotton like briefs. My man wears these all the time. Keeps little Elvis warm and in place, and they're sexy, too.

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"I think it would be a great idea" Mohandas Ghandi's answer when asked what he thought of Western civilization

[voltaire]

For all those with underwear problems, I've got two words:

BOXER BRIEFS

Changed my whole outlook on life...

[kellibelli]

I buy those boxer briefs for my oldest...he was always digging his drawers out of his arse...until he got these...now he leaves his rear alone.

Personally, I think comfort has alot to do with the shape of your toosh.

[Hungry Boy]

I'm a firm supporter of boxer briefs -- and vice versa.

Point of Order: It has been argued that the pee-flap that separates bikinis from briefs is a necessary statement of one's manhood. I don't disagree but I do have to ask if anyone actually use the pee-flap for peeing? Like my nipples, my pee-flaps are purely decorative.

Guys?

[DougC]

- - - Two words: Flannel Boxers. You know they're comfortable when ladies with access to your underwear drawer steal them. (If she'll fit into them of course; sometimes she will, sometimes she won't.) - Cotton is a lousy fabric for underwear and socks. - MC

[voltaire]

- - - Two words: Flannel Boxers. You know they're comfortable when ladies with
access to your underwear drawer steal them. (If she'll fit into them of course;
sometimes she will, sometimes she won't.) - Cotton is a lousy fabric for underwear and
socks. - MC


Flannel boxers are comfy, about half my underwear are boxer-briefs, the other half are flannel boxers. The only problem with flannel boxers is that they tend to adhere to the pants when you pull 'em up and they ride up. For this reason, I've relegated the flannel boxers for mostly bedtime use.

Side note: You ever notice how some people say underwears instead of underwear? I know, everybody says pants or shorts, not pant or short. But, underwears just sounds so silly.

[beefymeg]

Hey, is this a gentlemen's-undies-only thread or can the ladies jump on too? Our underwear can be just as troublesome, albeit less painful. I.E. thongs.

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Where are we going?
And why am I in this handbasket?

[JamesCarroll]

Two things:
1> Real men don't throw away underwear. Ever.

2> No real man wears bikini underwear. Ever.



3> Real men never buy underwear in tubes. Ever.

[Valerieblaise]

I love boxer-briefs, whether they're on a guy or me! They look good, and they're comfortable. I don't get tighty-whiteys, and I SURE do not find them attractive. Actually, they make me giggle.

[Gaudere]

Yes, boxer-briefs are the greatest thing to ever happen in men's underwear. Sexier than boxers! More attractive than briefs! Less giggle-inducing than zebra-striped bikinis!

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"Eppur, si muove!" - Galileo Galilei

[sunbear]

Satan:You wear underwear to catch farts and such.That way you never wash the pants.Or once a year is enough.
Shirts are washed, though.

[24KaratGold]

Oooo, Satan . . . .

I don't wear 'em either! ;)

Goldie

Nickrz, I'll be mailing you a brand new pair of undies(turquoise!;D

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Nobody said things would be easy,and nobody was right-George Bush.

[Nickrz]

I'm afraid of those.. whatd'yuh callums.. boxer briefs? Don't the legs ride up and bunch around yer thighs like parasitic cloth donuts? That's all I need.

1. You boxer guys are nuts. Yer boys are always cold and your lower sperm count will eventually skim you from the gene pool.

2. I thought it was the guys who snagged the girl's panties?

3. I never met a woman with stretched out unnerwear leg-holes, but I have found a few who wear their "Monday" on Sunday. That makes Monday feel like Tuesday. I refuse to discuss thong underwear, and ass-grubber-outter people are best when they think they are not being watched.

[sunbear]

Just as a tourist in Denmark, I had lots of time to wait and do nothing.So you notice things. Like most unmarried women wear thong underwear. One even changed from shorts to pants at a park bench.So we have some real evidence.
Two moms pushing enormous baby carriages (single moms?) were wearing thong underwear and very transparent long dresses.

I was in town with two kids, so I don't even have observations on evening time underwear fashions.

Just in case this men's underwear is getting boring.I didn't want to start a new topic.

Underwear does seem to be in the SD field. Someone think up an underwear question for Cecil.

[manhattan]

Nickrz: Yer boys are always cold and your lower sperm count will eventually skim you from the gene pool.IIRC it's the other way around, boss. Keeping team testes too snug against heats things up too much, making the soldiers too few and too tired to take the beach. Heck, I think exteriorality (!) evolved to keep the swim team a little cooler.

I apologize in advance if you were being facetious and I didn't get it, but it was worth it nonetheless just to remember various euphemisms for the little danglers.

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Livin' on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

[sunbear]

Manhattan: so they say. But is there really any correlation between underwear and sperm count? Perhaps I'll send it to Cecil.

[Shirley Ujest]

When one's belly expands with the joys of gestating, there are several options for womens underwear. 1) Thong 2)Maternity undies or 3) Mens briefs.

Thongs are fine except if you get hemorroids.There are some puckered women out there that would never wear one and view it as the work of the devil to wear on. So be it.

2) Maternity underwear is so gd ugly and it is something like $8-10 for two pair and they come hermetically sealed in a bag and you cannot try them on to see if the damn things wedge or not. No test drive, no buying, not in my book.

3) Mens briefs are by far the most comfortable during pregancy. The wide bands around the leg and waist prevent creepage. At the end of pregnancy, hubby suddenly has a whole new drawer of underwear of the stuff that I no longer have to wear. ( And I pitch the old stuff out.)

PS - that is what he is getting for christmas, a new sock drawer and underwear drawer. Exciting, huh?

[Sycorax]

Well of course you've never met a woman with stretched out underwear leg holes! We women don't wear raggedy underwear - that's a man-thing. I don't know how you'd know anyway - I mean, it's not obvious - it just means the panties ride up and are uncomfortable - and speaking of panties riding up - how in the devil do women stand the thongs? Or do they just get used to it?
Here I'm pulling my panties outta there, and some women are putting them in!

[Nickrz]

manhattan - Did you ever notice the white worm and walnut sack after you came out of the cold water? The Emporer has no clothes, but the dynamic duo can nuzzle up close to the body. There's those little cord thingies (there's what you should ask Cecil) that keep them "rising and falling" as a thermostatic device to keep sperm at an even temperature. (The sight has been known to fascinate uninitiated females).

Some years ago there was talk about the correlation between brief wearing and the gender of babies born of such true manly types. Keeping the testicles warm (it was said) produced more boy babies. Or maybe it was the other way around.. anyway, I like to keep them close to home and out of harm's way. You guys can leave them out in the cold, I've already contributed my genes to the pool.

[Strainger]

And while I'm on the subject, does anyone ever use that stupid "flap-hole" arrangement in the front? What's that all about?These are made for men whose penises are 1/4 inch in diameter and attached to the left side of their groin area. These men are easy to spot - they're the ones standing with their right elbow pointed toward the urinal.

*sigh* Sadly, we're a dying breed.

[moriah]

1. To stop the leg band elastic from stretching out, move up to a larger size. I use the Penny's brand and the leg band has never given out first. I use a larger size for the sheer comfort.

2. The double flap on briefs is: to provide an opening for those who wear their briefs way too tightly (so as not to wear out the leg band elastic); to provide extra warmth for wee willy; and, to provide extra absorption for dribbles.

3. There does seem to be a medical consensus that briefs do lower sperm count. When couples are trying to conceive, the doc makes the man switch to boxers.

4. Boxer briefs and boxers are excellent for walking around in (esp. flannel boxers). But I do find the legs ride up too easily in tight fitting pants, such a jeans. They do work well in loose fitting pants.

4. Boxer briefs have been very popular in the gay men's community for years. There was even a joke about it on Will & Grace. But you real men don't have to worry about that now, real men always slavishly follow fashion trends set by gay men -- about five years later (denim jackets over hooded sweatshirts, goatees, pierced ears, shaved heads, frosted hair, tattoos, etc...). If any of you real men actually want to get in on the fashion trend at its onset, just rent recently released gay porn -- you'll get an eyeful of what tomorrow's undie trends will be.

Peace.

[Omniscient]

I don't get you tighty-whitey boys. How can you sit still all constricted and bound up like that. Not to mention the ridding up the ole kiester. Boxers and Boxer briefs are a absolute god send. One word of advice to any converts, get the best! Even more important than when discussing briefs. $15 a pair is a reasonable price, so laides quit stealing the damn things their expensive!. The biggest up side, other than the testes liberation, is that the fly is actually useful. If you get cheap boxers however you can count on your sausage rubbing up and down the zipper like a cheese grater because the cheapies don't have good buttons.

As for you girls, I've been the impetus for three womens complete conversion to total thong dependance. All squirel covers ride up on women, thongs simply have less material and therefore are less annoying. Thongs stay where you put them and the girls just forget about them, so after that week of wanting to yank 'em out of your crack you'll realize that they are much less troublesome. Not to mention that oh so sexy feeling that women should have when wearing them. Here it is critical to get a pair that fit, period.

Shirley, you try on underware????? Remind me not to shop at that store anymore. As much as I like a worn pair of satin thongs, the idea of a rack or drawers that were tried on and found to be too tight on a bunch of customers is less than appealing. Do you put them on and jog around the store to test the fit, kinda like a new pair of sneakers? Do you model them for your girlfriends? Do they have full length mirrors? Where do they put that ink cartrige to prevent shoplifting?

[sunbear]

Buttons? My wintertime pyjamas have one button, and that's already too much trouble.I'll never figure out boxers. There was one boxing match I watched where a guy's jock strap fell out of his boxers. He was in trouble after that.
Nickerz: wear a jock strap plus briefs?The briefs could then be a little loose.

[Stella*Fantasia]

My SO is the only man in the universe who looks good in bikinis. Somehow, they don't look gay on him like they do on the other guys I've seen in them. (It helps that he is a big hairy guy.)

My question is, why CAN'T men throw away underwear when it gets holes in it? The aforementioned SO told me that it's because every pair they throw away is one less day that they can go without doing laundry, but hasn't the idea of BUYING SOME NEW UNDERWEAR ever crossed any of y'all's minds? Just wondering.

[moriah]

Stella, Stella, you poor, delusional woman ;), you'll never understand men.

How can you possible truly understand a man's distaste for doing laundry, and yet, be totally clueless to his equal disdain for shopping?

And while I'll take your word that your big, hairy man doesn't look gay in a bikini (obviously, you've never been to South Beach), I'll have to question your opinion that your big hairy man looks good in a bikini.

Peace.

[DavidForster]

Knickrz-
Yer boys are always cold and your lower sperm count will eventually skim you from the gene pool.
Add my name to the list of those who believe you have that backwards, but add also that overheating the family jewels tends to lead to male cancer of a particularly masculine sort, IYKWIM.

So it's not only wriggler headcount, but also life expectancy, it seems. It's them men that's recreating and procreating into their 90s and beyond as stand the best chance of filling the gene sea, non?

You ladies feel free to second that.

[voltaire]

I'm afraid of those.. whatd'yuh callums.. boxer briefs? Don't the legs ride up and bunch around yer thighs like parasitic cloth donuts? That's all I need.


Nah, not if you find the right ones...

[/quote]
1. You boxer guys are nuts. Yer boys are always cold and your lower sperm count will
eventually skim you from the gene pool.
[quote]

I always thought that the reverse was true. The only way I'll be convinced of your theory is if Unca Cecil backs it up.

The key here is that 'the boys' are mighty particular about their temperature (not unlike some female automobile passengers.) IOW, they are forever either to hot or to cold and always want to adjust the temperature either up or down.