What is the square root of cheese?

[heembo]

Yes, these and other nonsensical questions will be asked by fellow dopers as we attempt to eradicate ignorance from the face of the earth.

Does Magic exist? Is there a God? Is it wrong to get an erection in church? What to do if your pee is dark purple? Should three dogs be allowed in the same shower stall at the same time? What if they are poodles?

Where does it end? Every day, there are thousands of new humans dumped into the genetic cesspool, as they are greeted in passing by those on their way to the "other side."

Will there ever be a day when someone posts a thread entitled "Is magic for real" and the only responses to the thread are "No"?

How can you keep that stiff upper lip mentality in the face of what appears to be utter futility?

I have grown tired of the endless stream of newly indoctrinated, brainwashed zombies that are thrust upon us every day by the over zealous magnates of religion and mysticism. There was a time when I was out there talking to the people around me about things metaphysical, urging them to open their eyes.

It's times like these I am grateful for a good cigar, some fine scotch, and the fence that surrounds my yard. At least my dog understands, or at least lacks the ability to dissent…

[Coldfire]

Well, OK. So, what is the square root of cheese, anyway?

[BunnyGirl]

Whey divided by curd, rounded to the nearest rennet.

[Skelji]

Originally posted by heembo
Does Magic exist? Is there a God? Is it wrong to get an erection in church? What to do if your pee is dark purple? Should three dogs be allowed in the same shower stall at the same time? What if they are poodles?
Yes, magic exists. As soon as I click "Exit"...POOF! This inane post will disappear! Woo!

Is there a God? When I look at some of the people on this earth, there must be a God. One who has a twisted sense of humor.

Wrong to get an erection in church? I don't know. Maybe you can nail a little jesus to it, and call it a "jerusalem tickler".

If your pee is dark purple, you should probably switch to white grape juice.

And you can have three dogs in a shower stall, if you use a Yorkie, a beagle, and a retriever. You just stack 'em up like those Russian nesting dolls. Same applies to poodles, just substitute toy, standard, and the big-ass variety.

Whew. Any more questions? I hope not. I have to go pull out my magic erection and pee on a purple dog. Or something.

[CalMeacham]

Cheese is complex (ask any connoisseur of cheese), so the square root of cheese is obviously also a complex quantity. If a = the Real Part of Cheese and b = the Imaginary Part of Cheese, then the Square Root of Cheese is c + i d, where c squared = (a/2) + (1/2) sqrt(a squared + b squared) and d squared = c squared - a.

To me, calculating the squuare root of cheese seems like too much work. I'd rather just eat it. Or else just consider only Real Cheese, just like it says on the box.

Don't get me started on Behold the Power of Cheese. Especially if the Cheese is Complex.