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View Full Version : What's (supposedly) going to kill 281 million Americans?


Lumpy
08-09-2014, 10:00 AM
Says an email infomercial making the rounds. I gave up after listening to five minutes of jawing and they still hadn't identified wtf they were talking about. Cliff Notes version anyone?

Chronos
08-09-2014, 10:36 AM
Lack of oxygen to the brain. Anything more specific than that won't fit the bill.

Dendarii Dame
08-09-2014, 10:40 AM
Time, eventually.

running coach
08-09-2014, 10:43 AM
Apparently, something Obama will do (http://www.backyardliberty.com/vsl/index60.php) and the food supply and crackpot, crackpot, crackpot.
It's a video, he sells some sort of emergency food that "the government can't take away from you". Right, the same government that just orchesrated the death of 281 million people.

Alley Dweller
08-09-2014, 10:51 AM
Apparently, Obama is going to nuke South Carolina (http://freethoughtblogs.com/dispatches/2014/03/05/the-garrow-grift-reveals-itself/), so nothing important. The population of South Carolina has certainly grown since the last census, huh?

Little Nemo
08-09-2014, 10:56 AM
"This will make the most hard-minded patriots blood curl."

1. The government gave banks money. Banks invest in food commodities. This creates a food shortage.

2. Rising food prices cause riots.

3. You can produce your own food with aquaponics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquaponics). Access to your own food supply will allow you to seize power after the government collapses.

Alley Dweller
08-09-2014, 10:57 AM
Apparently, something Obama will do (http://www.backyardliberty.com/vsl/index60.php) and the food supply and crackpot, crackpot, crackpot.
It's a video, he sells some sort of emergency food that "the government can't take away from you". Right, the same government that just orchesrated the death of 281 million people. If you go to that page and hit the close tab or close window button on your browser, it will ask you if you really want to leave the page. If you say no, then it will give you a text presentation that you can skim more quickly. This works with a lot of the endless videos you see on the net.

Apparently, this is a separate conspiracy from the one I found. Funny how all these evil plots all seem to kill Americans in multiples of 281 million. That must be some Biblical number that signifies the anti-Christ.

wolfpup
08-09-2014, 11:05 AM
Apparently, something Obama will do...

I knew that man was trouble!

Unfortunately I don't know what's going to happen because the video warned me that it would "make my blood curl". Since I prefer my blood straight and not curly, I didn't watch it.

burpo the wonder mutt
08-09-2014, 11:15 AM
I knew that man was trouble!

Unfortunately I don't know what's going to happen because the video warned me that it would "make my blood curl". Since I prefer my blood straight and not curly, I didn't watch it.

Do you think they meant "curdle"? Cos I really hate it when a glass of blood has curdled. Don't let your blood sit out on the counter too long!

jtur88
08-09-2014, 11:18 AM
"This will make the most hard-minded patriots blood curl."

1. The government gave banks money. Banks invest in food commodities. This creates a food shortage.

2. Rising food prices cause riots.

3. You can produce your own food with aquaponics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquaponics). Access to your own food supply will allow you to seize power after the government collapses.

Which of those three are not verifiable facts?

Budget Player Cadet
08-09-2014, 11:19 AM
EDIT: Nvm, can't say that any more.

@jtur: I think it's the part where the government is intentionally going to try and starve most Americans. :rolleyes:

Ferret Herder
08-09-2014, 11:25 AM
@jtur: I think it's the part where the government is intentionally going to try and starve most Americans. :rolleyes:
Not to mention that we have neither food shortages nor food riots in the US. Maybe the crackpot website's theory is that Obama is playing the reeaaaallly long game on this one.

seal_cleaner
08-09-2014, 01:21 PM
Americans hate him! Destroys the country with this "weird" trick.

hibernicus
08-09-2014, 01:40 PM
Apparently, this is a separate conspiracy from the one I found. Funny how all these evil plots all seem to kill Americans in multiples of 281 million. That must be some Biblical number that signifies the anti-Christ.

It's 90% of the population of the USA. It's also approximately the total number of US citizens living in the USA, so if you killed 281 million Americans in America, only those Americans residing overseas would survive.

Gorsnak
08-09-2014, 01:41 PM
Which of those three are not verifiable facts?

Increased investment in food commodities will result in increased food production and food surpluses, not shortages. Econ 101. Unless you think somehow that financial institutions are going to sit on perishable commodities as an investment, which is insane.

OffByOne
08-09-2014, 02:23 PM
Normally, I could give you the short answer for only $199.95, but because I don't know when the government is going to shut this web site down (because THEY don't want you to KNOW!), I'm willing to let you know for just $49.95. It's THAT important!

Lumpy
08-09-2014, 04:09 PM
Funny everyone; but seriously, inquiring minds want to know.

Lumpy
08-09-2014, 04:18 PM
(Missed edit window) Ok, running coach's link "explains" it, as much as it's explainable: speculation will cause food prices to skyrocket leading to collapse of commodity system.

Now, is "This weapon could kickstart WWIII" the same thing in a different package, or something different?

sevenwood
08-09-2014, 06:15 PM
I dimly remember reading somewhere that ultimately every death can be attributed to heart failure.

(Yeah, I know, our definition of death these days is the cessation of brain function. But what causes that? Heart failure!)

So what's going to kill us all? Heart failure!

jimbuff314
08-09-2014, 07:01 PM
"This will make the most hard-minded patriots blood curl."

1. The government gave banks money. Banks invest in food commodities. This creates a food shortage.

2. Rising food prices cause riots.

3. You can produce your own food with aquaponics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquaponics). Access to your own food supply will allow you to seize power after the government collapses.

Kewl. Just let me make some notes here.
BRB.

jtur88
08-09-2014, 07:43 PM
Increased investment in food commodities will result in increased food production and food surpluses, not shortages. Econ 101. Unless you think somehow that financial institutions are going to sit on perishable commodities as an investment, which is insane.

"Perishable commodities" comes pretty close to being an oxymoron. Most commodities have a very long shelf life. Investors in food production can control the size of the harvest in order to maximize profits from the sale of limited quantities. I'm not saying they do, I'm saying they can, especially if they grow into large enough conglomerates and consortia that non-corporate producers cannot significantly influence the total output.

In the past 15 years, the wholesale price of butter has gone through four different swings of a nearly 2:1 magnitude.

Little Nemo
08-09-2014, 07:55 PM
Which of those three are not verifiable facts?Where did I say it was? It's certainly true that food prices are going up and banks have been investing in food (although I think the linkage is in that order and not the other way around).

I just don't think we quite as close to the edge of the apocalypse as Mr Deacon does. I don't think we'll see food riots, mass starvation, the collapse of the government, and the general breakdown of society here in America within the next two years. We're at least five years away from that point.

And while aquaponics might be a interesting new method of gardening, I really doubt it'll be the foundation of the new ruling class.

jtur88
08-09-2014, 10:02 PM
Where did I say it was?

You didn't. I just offered a challenge to anyone who thought the three points represented an unsustainable scenario that by itself placed the proposition in the realm of absurdity, which is where a great many seem to think it lies. The position may very well be absurd, but not for those reasons.

dba Fred
08-10-2014, 04:32 AM
“Housewife in <insert your town> discovers amazing life-loss secret ahead of 281 million Americans!”

Ike Witt
08-10-2014, 08:50 AM
Maybe the crackpot website's theory is that Obama is playing the reeaaaallly long game on this one.

The guy did say that collapse was coming within 18 months. When was the video posted?

Broomstick
08-10-2014, 10:16 AM
And while aquaponics might be a interesting new method of gardening, I really doubt it'll be the foundation of the new ruling class.
It's not really as new as people think it is.

Having done some hydroponics (that's a necessary half of the whole aquaponics thing), my conclusion is that it's freakin' easier to garden in dirt and "victory gardens" are a much more viable approach. Aquaponics requires various supplies and a lot of human labor, especially if you aren't using electric power (what, you think think the Evil Overlords manipulating food supplies to the point of killing hundreds of millions are going to give away free power?).

Maserschmidt
08-10-2014, 10:18 AM
I don't understand how this thread hasn't already attracted a few August, 2014 joins.

Koxinga
08-10-2014, 11:11 AM
“Housewife in <insert your town> discovers amazing life-loss secret ahead of 281 million Americans!”

Illuminati hate her!

dropzone
08-10-2014, 11:41 AM
“Housewife in <insert your town> discovers amazing life-loss secret ahead of 281 million Americans!”What I find odd is that those housewives often "live" quite far from my town, like the software can't figure out where I'm at. This is especially inconvenient when the pitch is "Have sex NOW." If I want sex NOW I don't want to drive 35 miles to get it.

Dewey Finn
08-10-2014, 12:13 PM
If, for example, you live in a suburb of Chicago, your ISP's connection to the internet might be in downtown Chicago, so that's where the advertiser thinks you are. Or if you live in Albuquerque but work for a company based in Philadelphia, all connections might appear to be coming from Philadelphia.

dropzone
08-10-2014, 12:50 PM
But they often get it right. Not that I believe that the young lady in the ad is where she claims to be and is the woman I'd end up with.

Classic bit nobody's seen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbgWDz5_LJ0 I also assume she's not as pretty as Catherine O'Hara.

Saint Cad
08-10-2014, 02:53 PM
I'm not worried whatever it is. I have gold and hybrid-free seeds.

Monty
08-10-2014, 05:08 PM
I have a sneaking suspicion that if one were to deduct the numbers of certain segments of the US population, one would end up with 281 million particular white folks, if you get my drift.

Sherrerd
08-10-2014, 06:51 PM
Funny how all these evil plots all seem to kill Americans in multiples of 281 million. That must be some Biblical number that signifies the anti-Christ.

The guy did say that collapse was coming within 18 months.

I have a sneaking suspicion that if one were to deduct the numbers of certain segments of the US population, one would end up with 281 million particular white folks, if you get my drift.

Maybe "281 million" does refer to some real demographic. But on the other hand, maybe it's just a number that advertisers believe to be attractive (there's the 1 and the 8 again, in "18 months"). Perhaps it seems Authentic because it's not rounded to the nearest ten.

Similarly, the "weird trick" language quoted in an earlier post is all over Internet ads aimed at the less-educated. It must work--it must generate more clicks-through than does other phrasing--or it wouldn't be so ubiquitous.

The whole idea of banks being given money by Evil Obama and then cornering the market on Food, is going to appeal only to people not in the habit of thinking things through. But there is no shortage of that demographic; local Bank of America and Chase and Wells Fargo branch managers had better be prepared for armed hoards seeking the butter and Cheetos and Jimmy Dean sausage packs piled up in their back rooms! :eek:

Jonathan Chance
08-10-2014, 09:47 PM
I dimly remember reading somewhere that ultimately every death can be attributed to heart failure.

Robert Heinlein Between Planets

And why South Carolina? Dammit, I just bought a house down here! This sucks!

GoodOmens
08-11-2014, 05:08 PM
The guy did say that collapse was coming within 18 months. When was the video posted?

17 months, 29 days ago....OH MY GOD! I'm suddenly very hungry. And rioty.

running coach
08-11-2014, 05:22 PM
17 months, 29 days ago....OH MY GOD! I'm suddenly very hungry. And rioty.

Food fight!

smithsb
08-11-2014, 05:51 PM
"This will make the most hard-minded patriots blood curl."

1. The government gave banks money. Banks invest in food commodities. This creates a food shortage.

2. Rising food prices cause riots.

3. You can produce your own food with aquaponics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquaponics). Access to your own food supply will allow you to seize power after the government collapses.

4. Profit??

281 million dead - that's a lot of mortgage failures and foreclosures. Surely the end of the world - I could have sworn that just happened.

Normally, I could give you the short answer for only $199.95, but because I don't know when the government is going to shut this web site down (because THEY don't want you to KNOW!), I'm willing to let you know for just $49.95. It's THAT important!

That's it, $49.95, but if you act right now; we'll send you another basket of conspiracy theories facts whackdoodle that will curl curdle your blood. Just include separate shipping and handling. And as an extra bonus, we'll be sure to include you on dozens of mailing lists so Y O U W I L L B E I N F O R M E D :eek: unlike the sheeple around you.

Don't delay as this will be a "limited" (haha) time offer.

DrDeth
08-11-2014, 06:21 PM
"This will make the most hard-minded patriots blood curl."

1. The government gave banks money. Banks invest in food commodities. This creates a food shortage.

2. Rising food prices cause riots.

3. You can produce your own food with aquaponics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquaponics). Access to your own food supply will allow you to seize power after the government collapses.

But you can buy that food with your hoarded GOLD COINS!!!

(I'd put a smilie here but they are all so horrible for this)

Ann Hedonia
08-11-2014, 06:36 PM
I found this one

http://www.usdeception.com/tsl/

It seems like similar materials are being used to sell all sorts of different survivalist products ---- this one is hawking a book and some sort of video seminar and he's blathering away about how unemployment statistics are skewed because they don't count those freeloading infants and geriatrics so we really have massive unemployment and runaway inflation even though we are being kept in the dark -- and if you think you're safe because you've stockpiled your own hydroponically grown food you're going to be herded up and put into a FEMA concentration camp so you really need these books and tapes......................
or something like that, this stuff is really hard to read -- I think a lot of is substantially different from the link on the "Evil bankers are hoarding your Twinkies" site http://www.backyardliberty.com/vsl/index60.php
but they have the same photos of shrinking food packaging.

Apparently there's a lot of money to be made by predicting the collapse of society.

Sorry this is disjointed but these links make my brain hurt

Yllaria
08-11-2014, 07:02 PM
"This will make the most hard-minded patriots blood curl." . . . .

Do you think they meant "curdle"? Cos I really hate it when a glass of blood has curdled. Don't let your blood sit out on the counter too long!

Either that or they got their blood confused with their hair. I can see how that would happen.

bobot
08-11-2014, 07:53 PM
The website states that the video will only be up for a short time. Not to worry, I made sure to save it in case anyone would like to watch it at one's leisure. Something that earth-shattering must be preserved. All 32 minutes of it. Thanks a lot, Obama!

Sherrerd
08-12-2014, 04:31 PM
I found this one
http://www.usdeception.com/tsl/
It seems like similar materials are being used to sell all sorts of different survivalist products ---- this one is hawking a book and some sort of video seminar and he's blathering away about how unemployment statistics are skewed because they don't count those freeloading infants and geriatrics so we really have massive unemployment and runaway inflation even though we are being kept in the dark -- and if you think you're safe because you've stockpiled your own hydroponically grown food you're going to be herded up and put into a FEMA concentration camp so you really need these books and tapes......................
or something like that, this stuff is really hard to read -- I think a lot of is substantially different from the link on the "Evil bankers are hoarding your Twinkies" site http://www.backyardliberty.com/vsl/index60.php
but they have the same photos of shrinking food packaging.

Apparently there's a lot of money to be made by predicting the collapse of society.


OH, yes. Fear, uncertainty, and doubt are surefire motivators of human action--in this case, of the action of opening the wallet.

Some have said that the survivalist or prepper lifestyle is all about trying to regain a sense of control over a chaotic world. I guess we'd all like to have that, but we differ in the degree to which we think it obtainable. (For me, a bunker full of Spam just wouldn't do it. But for some, apparently, such purchases do provide some comfort.)

Isilder
08-12-2014, 11:56 PM
Says an email infomercial making the rounds. I gave up after listening to five minutes of jawing and they still hadn't identified wtf they were talking about.

The Onion entry for this " Survivalist product sale spiel fails to mention a single verifiable fact in 5 minute in the one millionth version. John started making these sales spiels in 1922 and he is still going !"

buddha_david
08-13-2014, 04:05 AM
And why South Carolina? Dammit, I just bought a house down here! This sucks!

Probably cribbed from Special Bulletin (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086350/) (1983), a TV movie about terrorists threatening Charleston, S.C. with a homemade nuclear bomb, told in the style of a live "breaking news" report.

Colophon
08-13-2014, 06:16 AM
Let me guess, is 281 million the number of coffins they ordered for the FEMA camps?

gnoitall
08-13-2014, 11:24 AM
"This will make the most hard-minded patriots blood curl."Blood can curl? :confused:

silenus
08-13-2014, 01:42 PM
It can handle the stone ok, but the broom still causes problems.

Crotalus
08-13-2014, 01:59 PM
"This will make the most hard-minded patriots blood curl."

1. The government gave banks money. Banks invest in food commodities. This creates a food shortage.

2. Rising food prices cause riots.

3. You can produce your own food with aquaponics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquaponics). Access to your own food supply will allow you to seize power after the government collapses.

Which of those three are not verifiable facts?

Banks investing in food commodities does not result in a food shortage unless they actually take delivery of the commodities and keep them out of the food supply. Based on corn prices (http://futures.tradingcharts.com/chart/CN/M), that is clearly not happening. How would access to my own food supply allow me to seize power after a government collapse? It would help me survive, but seems insufficient for world conquest.

Lumpy
10-06-2014, 09:47 PM
And what "weird little weapon could kickstart World War III"? That "even fifth graders make small version of for science projects"?

TimeWinder
10-06-2014, 09:54 PM
And what "weird little weapon could kickstart World War III"? That "even fifth graders make small version of for science projects"?

Since the only fifth grade science project ever is the baking soda volcano, I have to imagine The End will be foamy. No one saw that coming.

Hari Seldon
10-07-2014, 09:54 AM
Lack of oxygen to the brain. Anything more specific than that won't fit the bill.

Oh, you mean wearing neckties.

MikeS
10-07-2014, 10:01 AM
Since the only fifth grade science project ever is the baking soda volcano, I have to imagine The End will be foamy. No one saw that coming.Well, there's also the potato battery. And if Aperture Science has taught us anything, it's that potato batteries will be our salvation.

glee
10-07-2014, 11:33 AM
Unless America stops teaching evolution in schools, God will smite the entire country.

Apparently.