Least romantic thing a man/woman could say?

[elfkin477]

My brother has a mixed R&B/Rap tape he was playing this weekend when we went out, and on it one song has what I think is one of the least romantic phrase I have ever heard. " There's thug in me/ I wanna put it in you"
Argghhh! Put it in you?? That's the best thing he could think of??

So, what other equally unromantic things have people said in the name of love?

[Creaky]

"Just because I'm yelling at you doesn't mean I don't love you!"

[lno]

I hit you because I love you.

[Pessor]

Wife to Husband:

"I think your new shoes make your feet stink. Your feet smell like my feet now..."

It gets no less romantic.

Pessor (husband)

[TexasSpur]

Before I say this, let me explain that this was a line in a pretty damn funny Saturday Night Live fake commercial.

"I want to put my evil inside you."

[red_dragon60]

Originally posted by TexasSpur
Before I say this, let me explain that this was a line in a pretty damn funny Saturday Night Live fake commercial.

"I want to put my evil inside you."


Literally laughing out loud. This is the funniest thing I have read all week. Which commercial was it?

[Rodd Hill]

"Does this look infected to you?"

[TexasSpur]

Originally posted by red_dragon60
Originally posted by TexasSpur
Before I say this, let me explain that this was a line in a pretty damn funny Saturday Night Live fake commercial.

"I want to put my evil inside you."


Literally laughing out loud. This is the funniest thing I have read all week. Which commercial was it?

It was one about a home security system. Basically it involved putting life-like dummies that looked like murderers all over your house. For instance, there would be a dummy with a chainsaw and a hockey mask in the bathroom with you while you were taking a shower. It would scare away real murderers. At the end, they had a dummy sitting in a lazy boy with the whole family in the living room, he said this through a speaker in his mouth.

[xcheopis]

A bit crude and unromantic but also really funny...

xcheopis (leafing through a junk mail catalogue): "How about if I get one of those bras that enhances cleavage?"

SO (in astonishment): "What for? You've got plenty of tits."

[Max the Immortal]

"My doctor says it isn't contagious."

[Kittie]

I'm leaving you...for your brother.
Damn, your mom looks hot today...
Is your sister single?!
Dammn girl, you got a fine-ass ass. It could be nice for lots of things. Heh Heh...yeah. (This was actually said to me :))
~Kittie

[Major Feelgud]

"Let's screw now before I shower while I'm still dirty. I don't want to wash again afterwards."

"The commercials will last for 3 minutes, can you suck this and make me climax before the game starts again?"

"I just met this new neighbor and she's really hot. Let's have sex while she's fresh in my memory."

[BooBoo316]

"Is it in yet?"

[Manduck]

You don't sweat much for a big ol' fat girl TM - Jim Varney

[MEBuckner]

"Hmmm...honey, I think that water spot on the ceiling has gotten bigger."

[McMurphy]

Can you do that thing your sister did that really turned me on?

[Booker57]

Well... that was quick.

[Wonko The Sane]

I don't remember the exact phrasing, but it was something along the lines of "I like you -so- much, I don't want to hold your hand, kiss you, or cuddle on the couch"

(all of which were activities we had previously engaged in)

Nothing quite screws with your confidence the same way.

[SuaSponte]

One song always made me laugh.
Don't know the artist, but it was one of those 70's era singer-songwriters.

Anyhow, the song is full of lush romantic imagery, and it all leads up to the chorus:

"I wanna make it with you.
I think that we could make it good ..."
Etc.

Oh yeah, that's gonna work.

Sua

[Enola Straight]

Hey, girl, is that lice on the top of your head?

[Superdude]

[answering phone during sex]
Oh, nothing...what are you doing?
[\answering phone during sex]

[Cap'n Crude]

May I use your vagina for a while?

[Giraffe]

"Could you pop this?"

[FairyChatMom]

"Are you done yet?"

[ThisYearsGirl]

Originally posted by xcheopis
SO (in astonishment): "What for? You've got plenty of tits."
Dude! That's wicked flattering! I'd love a man to say that to me!

Okay, least romantic thing--there was this couple on the bus, sitting in front of me. The girl was all over the boy, who was kinda out of it. Then she purred to him, "Baby. what are you think about right now?" And he says, "This episode of Nash Bridges. . . "

But I hate it when chicks pull that "What are you thinking about (me)?" shit, so I thought it was fantastic.

[Mr. Cynical]

Hello, My name is Jack Dean Tyler.

:D

[Tars Tarkas]

Originally posted by Kittie
I'm leaving you...for your brother.

On that note, how about:

I'm leaving you...for my brother!

[pesch]

Originally posted by BooBoo316
"Is it in yet?"


Which leads to the response:

Ummmm, I can't tell.

[Mercutio]

"I just farted"

[Road Rash]

Originally posted by SuaSponte
One song always made me laugh.
Don't know the artist, but it was one of those 70's era singer-songwriters.

Anyhow, the song is full of lush romantic imagery, and it all leads up to the chorus:

"I wanna make it with you.
I think that we could make it good ..."
Etc.

Oh yeah, that's gonna work.

Sua


"I'd like to make it with you" is the line, by Bread (or David Gates solo). That is actually tasteful, but sappy.

I am fond of "I wanna poke". I first heard it in "Lonesome Dove". Simple, direct, but most girls seem to not like it. My female buddies are used to it and they use it jokingly referring to me.

[BooBoo316]

"Could you move your head, please. I can't see the TV"

[Sealemon88]

"It ain't no fun if the hommies can't have none." Least romantic song, ever.


You're a female and you're breathing. Wanna fuck?

Geez, my sack's itching!

Yeah, you'll do.

(Whispered in bed)Ever hear of a Dutch Oven?

Heeey nice lady...I'm ready to do the comming and the jizzing and the yelling nooooowwwww.....

Got change for a hundred?

Sure, honey. As soon as I'm done posting on the SDMB....

[Albert Rose]

"Let's just be friends."

"Honey, could you help me scrape this smegma off of my penis?"

[iampunha]

Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl
Dude! That's wicked flattering! I'd love a man to say that to me!


What for? You got plenty of tits.

::fulfilling fantasies since 1995::

[Miller]

Originally posted by Mercutio
"I just farted"

Needless to say, double points if used during oral sex.

Kittie: I think that last one was a friend of mine. Here's his idea of a pick-up line, which I had the dubious pleasure of hearing him actually use: "I'm not usually into white chicks, but you got a butt like a black woman."

[Bad News Baboon]

think of that pus as Nature's Lubricant.

[ThisYearsGirl]

Originally posted by iampunha
Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl
Dude! That's wicked flattering! I'd love a man to say that to me!


What for? You got plenty of tits.

::fulfilling fantasies since 1995::

awww. . . Thank you

[pesch]

(Heard by a foreign-exchange student back in the '80s)

"Hit me with your best shot, baby-yes?"

[Ferggie]

"I want to start going back to church, and I want you to support me. (And basically I think the only way you can support me is if you believe exactly the same as I do.)"

I knew that relationship was going down (not in the good sense), but at that point it was going down in flames.

[Mac Guffin]

" Oh my god, what is that smell? Is that you?"

[h2oGO_98]

here are a few that were used on me:
wanna make gravy?

wanna get naked? (i asked the guy if that ever worked and he said it did)

let's do the wet grind

lots of others but i can't think of any.

Oh yeah and in the words of Margeret Cho: Stick it in!!

[h2oGO_98]

Here are a couple that have been used on me,

Wanna make gravy? (ewww)

Wanna get naked? (I asked the guy if this line ever worked and he said it did)

Wanna do the wet grind?

Q: Can you smile like a doughnut?
R: No, but in your case I can smile like a cheerio.

...and in the immortal words of Margeret Cho: Stick it it!

[Sofa King]

Her: "You're the second best lover I ever had."

Me: "Really. What did the best guy do differently?"

Her: "Nothing. He just had a bigger dick."


Grrrrrrr.

[ladyfoxfyre]

Originally posted by AlbertRose
"Honey, could you help me scrape this smegma off of my penis?"

Oh jesus that is disgusting. ::::shivers:::: Oh I am never ever going to stop thinking about that. Thanks AR. ::::shivers::::

[BooBoo316]

"Could you hold still, you're gonna make me spill my beer."

[mnemosyne]

Me: I love you
Him: I love Linux

[Dogzilla]

Him: Aren't you scared that you're gonna burn in hell if you don't come to Jesus?

Me: And, what, I'm supposed to put out now?

[Bumbazine]

Beige.... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.

[bughunter]

"Oh, that's just my yeast infection."

[matt_mcl]

"You know, I think I'm more into girls right now."

[matt_mcl]

Originally posted by pesch
Originally posted by BooBoo316
"Is it in yet?"


Which leads to the response:

Ummmm, I can't tell.

This HAPPENED to my roommate. He really could not feel the other guy. And of course it was anal sex, which means it's even worse.

[eunoia]

We Have A Winner

Her: "Do these pants make my butt look big?"
Him: "It's not the pants, it's all that fat! Did you take out the garbage?"

[xizor]

My friend, a heterosexual male, whispered this into the ear of a girl he was hoping to break up with soon, during the middle of doggie style sex:

"I'm pretending you're a guy"

[Acco40]

"Honey, could you help me scrape this smegma off of my penis?"

I dare anyone to look up the word "smegma" in the dictionary. (As I barf.)

My gf said once that she ran across some sort of British card that referred to the act as "rumpy-pumpy." That sure gets the imagination going.

[Pantology]

And should you use http://www.m-w.com to look up the definition of "smegma," be sure to check out the 10 Most Popular Smegma-Related Sites.

[Qwertyasdfg]

"Honey, thanks for those naked pictures. My website's gotten a ton of hits thanks to them."

[Fiver]

To respond specifically to the thread title, I'd think just about anything a man/woman said to me would be unromantic.

I've committed any number of faux pas in bed. Once a girlfriend complimented me, "You sure have a big dick!"

So I returned the favor thusly: "You sure have a big pussy!"

I don't really wonder why I'm still single.

[matt_mcl]

"This is Telbus. You have reached stop 520-3249. Line 78, Laurendeau, heading west. Next bus at 18:34..."

[ladyfoxfyre]

Awwww...poor matt...I'm sorry sweetie. I can't think of any reason why anyone would give you a fake number. I know I'm secretly in love with you.....::::wink wink::::