Korean Grocery Poetry Jam

[Amazing Magic-Gro Monster]

On my corner there's a little store.
The stock is old, the selection poor.
It says "You musts be wear shirt/shoe!" on the door.
Little Korean grocery!

Nothing past experation is ever withdrawn.
The weirdest selection I've ever sawn
Who buys cookies flavoured with prawn!?
Funky Korean grocery!

Lottery tickets and 40 oz. beers
Spices and vegetables whick look pretty queer
Friendly non-English speaking cashiers
Mack-Daddy Korean Grocery!

Take it ....!

[Inky-]

Saffron, ginger and the smell of decay
Ramen imported straight from Tei-Pei
But I'm just too lazy to walk to Safeway
Convenient Korean grocery

[Eve]

There's a food store on our street,
Run by Korean folk.
And they keep good things to eat
But to me it is a joke!
When you ask them anything
They never answer "No."
They just "Yes" you to death,
And as they take your dough,
They tell you:

YES! We have Gochugaru,
We have Gochugaru today.
We've Jinmi Ssamjang and Miso,
And Bulkogi Yangnyum.
And all kinds of soy and rice!
We have an old fashioned Kanarit
And fresh new Åimizuame
And YES! We have Gochugaru,
We have Gochugaru today.

Business got so good with them,
They wrote home to say:
"Send me Fan and Wan and Kim,
I need help right away."
When they got them in the store,
There was fun, you bet!
Someone asked for "Sparrow grass,"
And the whole quartet
All answered:

YES! We have Gochugaru,
We have Gochugaru today.
We've Jinmi Ssamjang and Miso,
And Bulkogi Yangnyum
And all kinds of soy and rice!
We have an old fashioned Kanarit
And fresh new Åimizuame
And YES! We have Gochugaru,
We have Gochugaru today!

[Zebra]

Eve are you related to Sel Siverstein?


Excellent

[Olentzero]

Zebra's clueless, it appears -
That song's been 'round for ninety years.
Eve just boxed it on the ears.
Song of Korean grocery!

Kimchee's all I know 'bout food;
Them Koreans prob'ly think me rude!
But I got internationalist attitude.
Shop the Korean grocery!

That cashier's cute, just by the way -
so if I'm ever there one day,
"Komapsumnida!" I'll say.
Flirt at the Korean grocery!

Dig it.

[Eve]

Hokay, how about something romantic, from “East Side Story?”

Korea!
I've just found a shop from Korea,
And suddenly that food
Is tempting, cheap and good
To me.
Korea!
I've just tasted sauce from Korea,
And suddenly white rice
Tastes better with red spice
Oh, gee!
Korea:
I just can’t eat enough of their nifties;
Though my uncle fought there in the Fifties . . .
Korea—
I'll never stop eating . . . Koreeeeaaaan!

[Lamar Mundane]

Jumped in the door to escape the rain
Damned if I haven't done it again!
He don't want me in if I ain't payin'
"One Snickers, please", Korean grocer.

[Pessor]

Membership Free
Short videos or long
Cho ban do a dong
Pornographic Korean Grocery

[Tiburon]

Hot rice and gogi
all topped with some kimchee,
been sprouts and bean curd,
mung bean and some lychee
Strawberry pocky
and various meats,

These are a few of my Korean treats!

Rice candy paper and
good mango jelly,
You'll know it's Chinese
if it's rotten and smelly,
Stick to Korean
and not chicken feets

These are a few of my Korean treats!

When it's jampong
that you're craving
and nothing else will do,
you simply walk down to the Korean store
and they'll be happppeeeee to help you!

[ShibbOleth]

San tokee
Tokee ah
O dider gon un ya
Gon chun gon chun deem yun sa
O dider gon un ya!




with extreme apologies on the horrible phoenticization to anyone who actually speaks Korean

[|Gravity775|]

Oh would that I were so creative.
My half Korean self is in heaven right now. I sat at my desk and read these and choked on coffee.

Amazing.

[Gravity]

forgive the tangent, but:

*points*
Hey look, one of my clones!
So, how are good old 50 and 600 doing?

:)

Ok, so I amused myself.

[BoBettie]

I liked it, Gravity (the first Gravity)
I'd love more Korean grocery poetry. It makes me smile like you would not believe. More! More!

Zette

[Hello Again]

When I come home late you are open
I can get a Snapple at 4am
or seltzer for my dad. So here's hopin'
Others will praise you as I am!
Open all night Korean Grocery!!


Korean Grocer
You speak Korean, English,
AND Spanish. Whatta guy!

I admire your stock
What are kumquats for again?
Who cares! I'll buy them!

[Demo]

When I wants some Seollungtang
I walk down the street to Chang's.
And for a 30 pack of Miller beer,
It's only nineteen-fitty there!

Check out the owner: God damn!
That dude be lookin' like Lo Pan,
From Big Trouble in Little China,
Wanna make your jorim mine-ah.

Buddha be on the shrine with the incense,
People eatin' kimchee don't make no sense!
Lookin' for doinjang I spot two hotties,
Yo, Lo Pan's daughters got bodies!

Hey Lo, thanks for the kangjeong.
Health inspector gonna be here before long.
That's aight, you gots what I need,
I'm goin' back to the Ko-rean Grocery.

[Esprix]

I've dated boys who made me eat that way
So now I like lumpia with soy sauce-ay
I'm such a rice queen - what can I say?
Ex-boyfriend Korean Grocery

To heck with the daughters - check out that son!
If I ask him out, would he be the one?
I'll teach him the way us 'mericans have fun!
Sexy Korean Grocery

Unfortunately English he learned on the fly.
If I asked him out would he reply,
"For only five dolla', me love you long time!"?
Let-down Korean Grocery

[Tenar]

For anyonne out there who, like me, is ignorant of Korean Cuisine but familiar with children's boardgame commercials jingles of the late 1960s:

(To the tune of "Mystery Date" jingle)

Mys-ter-y food
are you ready for your mystery food?
Open the door for your -- myst-ry food!

[Tenar]

On second thought, the original lyrics go better with Esprix's post.

[anyi]

Canned bamboo for sale.
"Fresh in spring sparkle water."
Expired in '90.

Oh come on. Someone had to do it.

Get a nice Korean recipe here (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39219&pagenumber=7).

[monitorlizzard]

Sung to the tune of... Along Came John


Along came Kim,
Along came Kim,
Skipped out on the draft...
came here on a raft..
now he runs an all night grocery store.

Along came Kim,
Short yellow Kim,
his country makes cheap cars...
his movies don't got stars...
and he eats things we wouldn't feed to our hogs.

[Liberal]

[...cough...] racism [...cough...]

[August West]

Faded flyers flutter
From the front of the foreign foodstore.

Into the inky interior I enter,
Expectations of exotic eats entice me.

Strange symbols on cylinders surround me.
Spam?

[Annie-Xmas]

Bodaga, I shop in a place called Bodaga.
I buy all their strange food, cause it all takes good.
Bodaga.

New York City has all the bodagas.
Food in strange tastes and strange flavas.
Bodaga, let's hear it for New York
BODAGAS.

[tracer]

Gravity wrote:

:)

Ok, so I amused myself.
Well, I hope you remembered to wipe it off afterward. It'll get all dried out and sticky if you don't.

[tracer]

Oh, and just to keep with the topic of this thread:

<ahem>

SEOUUUUUUUUUL TRAIN!

[zoogirl]

Oh corner store, corner store
Handy and neat
What more could I ask
Than you on my street!
I always find something
Delicious to eat
Oh corner store, corner store
You can't be beat!

In my neighbourhood they're mostly Chinese owned, but I guess it still applys!

[Fenris]

Chinese grocer, love your stock
For food that I cook in a wok
Your fish-sauce stock I'd never ban
(Three Crabs: it comes from ol' Thailand
and can't be found outside your store
I looked for years, I look no more)
I love the jars of Hoisin paste
Your candy aisle has stuff I'll taste
But Chinese grocer, this I see
You sell things...eventually
You get weird food
That oft tastes swell
But there is one thing I would tell
you: expire dates should be your pal
Or someday you will land in jail.
When someone dies ('twas almost me!)
From Shrimp Paste that expired in '73.
Or jars of pickled pickled eel eyes
That say "Don't use past '75"
You're friendly, nice and have great stuff
You just don't clean your shelves enough!
Oh Chinese Grocer, you're a great guy
Unless your stock doth make me die.

Fenris, who was serious about everything except the eel-eyes. But who things pickled eel eyes would be a great conversation piece for one's pantry: "Hey Doug! Spaghetti'll be ready in a minute. Gimme the big jar with the red cap, wouldja? Yeah, it's looking at you. So?"

[Tenar]

They're too literal with their
"thousand year eggs,"
and I never eat dead things
that are growing new legs --
Frightening Korean grocery.

[Weirddave]

Originally posted by Libertarian
[...cough...] racism [...cough...]

Oh, grow up. I'm death on racism, and I don't see any here. I see a celebration of one of the myriad cultures that make America great. Korean food can be odd. So can Thai food, and Russian food and Scott food and American food ( Pickled pig's feet, anyone?). Laughing about that while giving kudos to aspects of said food is not racist.

[jiney17]

quoth weird dave:
"Oh, grow up. I'm death on racism, and I don't see any here. I see a celebration of one of the myriad cultures that make America great. Korean food can be odd. So can Thai food, and Russian food and Scott food and American food ( Pickled pig's feet, anyone?). Laughing about that while giving kudos to aspects of said food is not racist."

Yeah but I don't believe that monitorlizzard's post was especially p.c.

quoth monitorlizzard:

"Along came Kim,
Along came Kim,
Skipped out on the draft...
came here on a raft..
now he runs an all night grocery store.

Along came Kim,
Short yellow Kim,
his country makes cheap cars...
his movies don't got stars...
and he eats things we wouldn't feed to our hogs."

#1. This is an extremely sterotypical view of a Korean person. Asian people are not yellow. They are not all short. They did not come over on rafts (isn't that the stereotype for Cubans anyway?--and no, I am not being racist by saying that. If you think I am, then you are being ridiculous). Finally, the last line is patently ridiculous since "we" doesn't seem to include all the people who enjoy kim chee and bul gogi and other korean delicacies on a regular basis (It's just cabbage and beef, when you come down to it, anyway).

Besides, there are plenty of foods within each ethnicity that outsiders find disgusting. However, saying that you "wouldn't feed [it] to...hogs" is over the top childishness and just plain rude.

#2 I believe the comment on racism was in reply to monitorlizzards' "poem"

#3 But most everyone else's poetry was very funny and sweet. Thank you.

[Weirddave]

O.K., I can see that. That one slipped by me. I thought most of the others were cute, tho. Previous statement retracted. I misread the comment as being about poems about Korean grocery stores in general.

[BoBettie]

Jeepers, take it to the Pit- we're actually trying to have some fun in here.

[Helena]

Manyag ae kimchi ga obsottdora myun
mousun masuro pabul mogulgga?
[mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo....]
Chong mal kimchi obshi mot sara, mot sara!

(I don't quite know the words!)